Work again. Ring Mum at 12.45. The 'O' level results are not at Benton yet. It will be Wednesday before I find out now. Not particularly bothered. I am numb. I feel no happiness and no sadness.
I do realise that June feels nothing for me. I have pretended to ignore it since the holiday. Those blasted holidays. We were so much in love until Friday July 13. The months separation proved too much. Our loved died. It is not my fault. I have tried to bring back the old spirit. My letters fail to please her. Stott and Tasker have turned her away from me. I no longer care about anything.
She rings me at 7 and says she will be at the Emmotts for 8. Arrives at 8.30.She is terrible to me. For some time I hate the very sight of her. Chris, MM, Linda Smith, Christine White and Judith Lea ask us to go back to MMs. Drink whisky until 3am. June and Judith are taken home at 11.20 by MM. Chris gets horribly drunk. I sit in the kitchen with him leaving John and Christine W, MM and Linda in the main lounge.
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The journal of a Yorkshire lad from the age of 17 in 1973 through several decades .... Transcribing from handwritten volume to blog may take some time ...
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Sunday April 1, 1984
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