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Wednesday September 12, 1973

I am really sick of school. I cannot work or think straight. History is all muddled and I do not care whether I pass an examination ever again or not. My love for June shadows all other things. How will I ever come to terms with the fact that I will never see her again? I have no money either. What a terrible state I am in.

Later: Chris rings me and asks me to go round to finish the 'spare' beer off which is surplus from the party last Saturday._____________(censored). Marita arrived and sat with me all evening. Andy and I nearly choked over a joke which is far too obscene to record here in my diary, however I will record it leaving out some letters from the dirty word:

'Mary had a little pig,
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
So she stood it up against a wall,
and kicked it's little c_nt in.'

John and I got the 32 bus at 11.20 with Andy and arrive home exactly at 12.

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Tuesday September 11, 1973

Mother says I have looked terrible since going back to school, but I realise that school is not the reason why I look the way I do. My heart is shattered. I have never felt so sick. Never did I imagine that June would leave my life so soon after becoming a major part of it. She will have received my letter this morning.

Grandfather is to be cremated at Dewsbury on Thursday. I am going. Mother never expected me to go. John does not wish to miss work. Dad spent the day with Grandma and accompanied her to the Register Office to record the demise of that great Matriarch, who, for nearly 63 years, reigned over an Empire consisting of one third of the world's population. (Surely, you're thinking of Queen Victoria ?)

When I think about it I am glad I did not get into college. I will not apply next year. I love home far too much to go chasing round County Durham for three long, moneyless years. I have made my mind up to find a job - what sort of job I do not know. But one thing is certain, education ends for me in November.

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Monday September 10, 1973

School uneventful. Thought about June all the time. No matter how much I try to forget her I cannot. Get home by 4.30 and write her a lengthy, dramatic letter saying how much I love her, and always will do. Send it in the 7.30 post.

Later: John asks me to join him and Christine W at the Emmotts - I am reluctant at first but agree after a little persuasion. Whilst on the bus John is looking out of the window and remarks how much a passing girl looks like June. And it was June! I leapt from the bus at the next stop, John with me, and I approached her rather cautiously. We went for a walk which lasted one whole hour. Neither of us mentioned the separation. God! How I love her! Sue B stood with John until Christine arrived in the car with Marita. I told J of the letter. Afterwards, I did realise that she would not go back out with me again. But my seeing her helped to delay the coming heartbreak. I will never look at another girl without thinking of her. June will be my only love.

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Sunday September 9, 1973

I awake on a very small sofa at the residence of Mr C.H. Ratcliffe and discover that I am still intoxicated. John and MM laugh at me. Chris is preparing a chicken for lunch in the kitchen. I proceed to polish off another pint of ale along with a coffee at the same time. My head feels terrible. The day is very hot and sticky and the sun is blinding me through the windows.

Evidently, between 4-6.0am I sat near the stereo wearing Chris's headphones crying like a baby whilst listening to a Tamla Motown LP. I dislike Tamla, but it wasn't the cause of my distress - it was my devastation over the loss of June, made much worse by the exessive alcohol. I yelled for two hours solidly!

The party was really fantastic and poor Dave, who has never been in such a state before, went home on the bus with his trousers all covered in vomit. Andy left at 8.15 this morning - poor soul.

MM goes at 1pm and then John and I catch a bus. I feel really sick, still wearing my 'Teddy Killer' T-shirt I board the 1.30 33 bus - all other passengers clad in best Sunday clothes. Spend the remainder of the day relaxing quietly.

Rang Mother at 1.0pm from Chris's and she says Dad spent the night with Grandad, who is critical. They go back at 6pm. Uncle Harry rings at midnight to say he died at 11.50 pm. Although I was not even fond of him I cannot help feeling rather sad. Bed 12.15.

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Saturday September 8, 1973

John and I go to Bradford in the morning and he buys the LP 'Never a Dull Moment' by Rod Stewart. The day is very hot and Bradford is sweltering. Rush home for lunch.

At 1.15 John and I walk down to Silverdale where Geoff Saxton gives us a lift to watch Leeds United play Birmingham. A 3-0 victory for the boys! We go immediately to Chris's and let ourselves in whilst he's at work. He is home by 6.15 and we have a meal together. Andy joins us at 8 and we all have very large Bacardis. When Marita arrives at 8.30 we are well on the way to getting drunk. Chris drinks his in the bath. John, Andy and me move on to the Fleece 8.45 where the rest of the gang awaits our triumphal arrival.

Later: the party at the Ratcliffe residence begins at 10.30. Andy and I are stoned already. We make a few practical jokes and Linda throws his clothes out of the bedroom window. Dave got drunk tonight for the first time in his life! He, along with Christine and Philip, played strip pontoon in the lounge. Philip had his trousers off before even his shirt. Why? Why? Wh? I ask myself.

At 3.30 Andy, Chris and me walked to Grandways for twenty cigarettes. We finished up dancing in the large concrete flower pots outside one of the shops. At 4.0 everyone went to bed leaving me with a Tamla Motown LP -what a terrible effect it had on me.

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Wednesday September 5, 1973

A letter arrives from Middleton St George confirming just what I expected - they do not want me - this year anyway. Revise Napoleon I all day in the library. I took in a pile of records dating mainly from 1971. At leat they are more interesting than Donovan, etc.

Sit at lunchtime sharing my sandwiches with Christine. Oh, remember the days when I spent lunchtimes with June? Christine saw June in Horsforth the other day. She asked about me but is still enjoying herself deliriously. She went to the Mecca and Hoffbrau with Sue Bottomley last week. I would love things to revert to how they existed only several weeks ago. Michael Stott does not mention her name, although he must still be calling on her with Paul Tasker. I hold no grudge against the boy. Why can't she forget about the past? What can I have possibly done wrong anyway? I will write yet-again, begging her to reconsider. When I look back in the diary I realise what good times we used to share. Now it's all over. No wonder I cannot worry about my future career. What is to be enjoyed in life without June?

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Tuesday September 4, 1973

Get up at 7.45. Arrive Benton 8.55. The new lower sixth certainly look like a bunch of cabbages. Christine is horrified by them. See Mrs Lane for ten minutes. She is determined to see me pass the 'A' level in November - whether I like it or not!

Later: Ring Chris and tell him that Mr Sefton died on Saturday. (Mrs Sefton is senior mistress at Benton Park). He is shocked. The poor old boy had cancer and knew he was dying last Christmas.

See the 6 o'clock news. Mark Phillips flew to Kiev this afternoon. Before the week is out all the Royal Family might be on Russian soil! Mum says that Phillips seemed terribly shy when he was interviewed on tv last Saturday. He stutters badly. Poor soul, he may turn out to be another George VI - and if he has his qualities the Royal Family will not go far wrong.

Go to the Emmotts at 8.30. Andy Graham, Chris, Christine W are there. Andy brings his 'love metre' - very amusing. MM arrives at 9 & remains until 10.40. Go to chippie. MM brings everyone home except Chris and Andy - feel rotten about them being left out - but MM insists that only 5 people can travel in the Datsun. Bed by 11.30.

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Monday September 3, 1973

A very important day for the USSR and for me. They had a visit from Prince Philip and I returned to Benton Park. I cannot decide which is the more important of the two.

Go to Benton at 9 and discover, to my horror, that I am now the oldest pupil in the 6th form and thus in the entire school. How horrid. I am the sole survivor from last year's upper 6th. I now know just how Lord de Courcey felt in 1936 when he found himself the last survivor of the 'Charge of the Light Brigade': ANCIENT!

Spend the day planning the timetable and listening to Groves rambling on. See Mrs Lane and Mr Ayling. Both unnecessarily sympathetic. Sit with Christine, MM, Liz Clap, and Maggie Edwards.

Prince Philip, God bless him, became the first prince of the UK to visit the USSR since before 1917. I suspect that he's gone ahead to plan a state visit by the Queen in a couple of years time. Prince Philip was certainly in his element with all that informality. Princess Anne is already at Kiev and Mark Phillips is going either tomorrow or on Wednesday.

Spend the evening watching the television. Bed by 12.0.

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Sunday September 2, 1973

11th after Trinity. Awake at 9 o'clock. John was already up awaiting the arrival of Dave, who is chauffeuring me to York and Rufforth today. He arrived at 9.10.

Later: Marita, Chris, John, Christine W, MM, Linda, Dave and I set off for York. By 10.45 we are all standing outside York Minster - very impressive without all the terrible scaffolding which has dominated the building since the mid 1960s. We go see the Shambles. I am not very impressed this time. At 12.0 we leave for Rufforth after pilaging a restaurant for cheese and tomato sandwiches to take away. We eat in a field near the rather bleak-looking airport. MM produces the wine out of his car boot - a very middle class tradition indeed - but Dave thinks it tastes like old vinegar.

Even later:watch stock car racing until nearly 7.30. Very exciting. But it is rather cold and wet after 6. A bombastic woman knocked Dave's car door several times and he stuck two fingers up at her - very unusual for Dave.

Go into York and have a meal on the riverside. MM suggests that we go to the 'Tavern in the Town' - very nice, but several soldiers are carrying on very strangely - they must have been queers. One does find a lot of homosexuals in the armed forces. Hardly surprising really.

Amusing journey home. Back at Pine Tops by 11.55. John came home with Marita and Christine W. Can it be wedding bells for baby brother?

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Saturday September 1, 1973

Get up at 11.55. Christine rang at 12.0. It tell her that at 4 o'clock this morning Dave and I flattened the battery of his car due to parking on the moor with the headlights on full beam in a sorry attempt to locate her bracelet. I assured C that we revived the car successfully.

At 1.0 I went to Leeds to be photographed for the college of education bods. The photos look groggy. Home by 3.0 after buying the 'Amateur Photographer' which contained royal photos of, and by, the Royal Family. See film - 'The Barretts of Wimpole Street'. Beef for dinner.

Later: John, who is now very attached to Christine White, accompanies me to the Queen's, where we are joined by her, Philip, Christine, Mick and Lynne. They stay until 10.0. John, Christine W, and I go home on the 10.30 bus. After depositing C at Yeadon, John and I go on to the nicest fish and chip shop in Guiseley. Walk home with Dobby - an old friend of Johns. Home by 12 o'clock. Seee a rather thrilling film. Bed for 1.15. An early start tomorrow.

Christine was very amused at last night. Thank Goodness, because she was so upset at the time.

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Friday August 31, 1973

Woke at 8.15 with the terrible realisation that I had overslept again. But it all fits my plans admirably. I decide to stay at home until 10.0 when I go into school with Christine and MM to see Groves.

Have a little breakfast and read my book about the Duchess of Portsmouth.

Arrive at Benton simultaneously with MM and Christine. They bring the new cups for the 6th form. Don't see Groves until 12.0. He advies me to wait until I have heard from the college, but to go into school until I do. Term starts on Monday. Go back to see Bill and tell him I'm going back. He wishes me good luck - again. Mess about with the bus shelters until 4.30.

Later: Dave picks John and me up and we go to the Fleece. Christine and Philip are saving seats for us. MM and Linda Smith arrive later. We go to the Intercon at the Cow and Calf at 10.30. Christine, in answer to the call of nature, visits Pine Tops for the first time. She thinks it's extremely cosy. Andy and I make attempts to get very drunk - successfully. Poor Philip went through £8. A very bizarre occurrence took place at 2.30am on Saturday morning. Dave and Christine decided to go for a walk on Ilkley Moor whilst Philip and I slept in his car. Ten minutes later I'm awakened by Dave laughing but minus Christine. To my horror we find Christine unconscious in a four-foot pot hole in the heather. I thought at first that she was dead. After a ten minute struggle we have her back in the car - bruised but alive. Alas, she had lost her bracelet, and in her drunken state, she began to cry. Philip slept on. We take her to Pine Tops for a strong coffee. At 3.35 Dave and I take C home and then return to Ilkley Moor in search of the precious bracelet - sadly, to no avail. Bed by 4.35am.

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