Monday October 16, 1978

Full Moon 07:09 First Day of Tabernacles (Succoth)

There's speculation all day about the conclave of cardinals. The voting, they say, is proving more difficult this time and Rome has been shrouded beneath clouds of black smoke all day. However, the boys in velvet made a decision and at about 7:30 the news was telephoned to me by a frantic Ursula, who could find no photographs, and before the BBC news flash, and the residents of 58, Hawksworth Lane where the first people this side of Leeds to discover that the new Pope is a non~Italian for the first time since 1522. The new pontiff is in fact a Pole. In fact he's the Cardinal Archbishop of Kraków, whose name I cannot attempt to pronounce (Karol Józef Wojtyła). No doubt my Aunt Jadwega is skipping around in her massage parlour showering kisses upon the residents of Mapplerley, Notts. So, it's failure for poor Basil Hume, but amazing that the cardinals have gone for an outsider. Do our purple friends want to keep well in with the Eastern bloc now that Italy is on the verge of going completely red? Dad's immediate reaction was to ask if the new pope is a Bulgarian. On the news Angela Rippon told us that during the Second World War Pope John Paul II worked in a Nazi~occupied umbrella factory. (Unless you know about Georgei Markov you'll be in the dark about this little joke).

Watched a violent film starring Burt Reynolds. Mum says she objects to paying the tv licence to watch such rubbish, but this Mary Whitehouse attitude is quite wrong. I see nothing wrong with a spot of violence. Bed at 12:05 am.

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Sunday September 10, 1978

Moon's first quarter 04:20

16th after Trinity

A day made very amusing my the presence of dear Auntie Eddy. We were all very much hungover at breakfast and Eddy (Jadwega, of course) brightened things up with her wonderful Polish banter. She told Susan that yesterday she had looked 'radiating' in her bridesmaid garb.

Alison was dreadfully pale, and John P said he was close to death. Lynn and Dave arrived at about 11 to say goodbye and Eddy almost had Dave upstairs for a massage but he fought her off successfully. Audrey Baker fell victim here and was taken upstairs for the full works. Eddy advised Henry on his vitamin B intake. John came in to bid them farewell and then off he went back to Maria and JPH and they left for Stranraer.

Richard & Mandy B arrived and took them off to East Midlands Airport and they flew to Ibiza at 3pm. Alison and John P went with them. Lunch with Mum, Dad, Jacq, Bert, Eddy and Reggie. We had fish and chips from Harry Ramsden's, but first we collected all the floral displays from St Paul's church. The old hag of a caretaker went on and on about the mess Delia had made on Friday.

After lunch we fell into the lounge. It's a tremendous anti~climax. Bert, Eddy and Reggie went to Leeds at 5pm for the coach home to Nottingham and we watched TV. Keith Michell playng Henry VIII in the 1972 film.

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Friday September 8, 1978

Busy day. I spent the afternoon at Esholt church with Sarah and Delia watching them arrange flowers, and came with them back to Pine Tops, laden with flowers, to decorate the house for Mama. They did the church wonderfully.

At 2pm John Pinder and I escaped to the Commercial - just for one drink. John was a bit over powered by Delia, who was going on about Lord Valentine Thynne and her recent experiences with Lord Bath at Longleat. It was just too much for him.

Mum was suffering all day after her barley wine session last night. Sue was feeling ill this evening. Her ear piercings from a few weeks ago have gone wrong.

Uncle Bert and Aunt Jadwega arrived with Cousin Reggie. Dave of Stockport closely followed. We laughed and joked. Jacq arrived bearing a bowl of jelly beans for Lynn and Dave B too put in an appearance but was sent home before midnight of course. We sat in the lounge buried beneath continental quilts ~ the house was so cold to preserve Mama's floral displays.

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Thursday August 1, 1974

Good day at the YP. Have one and a half hours for lunch in order to go into Leeds to obtain a copy of Uncle Bert's birth certificate for Aunt Jadwega - who needs it in order to be naturalised a British citizen. I am disgusted with the authorities for not allowing poor Auntie to have a passport. She's just as much an Englishwoman as Mama, and besides, anyone marrying an Englishman ought to become British immediately. Get the certificate at the registrars in Park Square. He was born at 110, Swinnow Rd, Bramley, on January 17, 1926, the son of Albert Rhodes and Ruth Ellen, formerly Upton. Very interesting. Home at nearly 6. Post the certificate on to Nottingham, where Auntie is waiting eagerly with open arms for her ticket to Poland and home.

To the Hare and Hounds after 8 with Denny and Marita, Dave Lawson, etc. Quite a nice evening but expensive for me. Marita, bless her heart, was drinking brandy and Babycham, at 37p a shot. Back to our place before 11 to see 'Cinema'. Chris wasn't very talkative, and I was quite nicely placed between a cushion and Denny. A few martinis went down smoothly.

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Wednesday July 31, 1974

Bored all day. Sleep on the bus coming from the YP and collapse over the tea table, listless and over-heated at about 6.

Dearest Denny rings after 7 and we almost decide to go out tomorrow night, but decide to wait until the time comes to see how we feel. Have a bath at 9 listening to the American 'Top 20' on Radio Luxembourg - some of the records were quite good, but otherwise it was mediocre.

Sit watching tv and drinking martini with Lynn. An interview with Glenda Jackson. Bed before 12. Sit reading Queen Mary (which was due back on July 25), and almost doze to sleep. Auntie Eddy (Jadwega) rings at 12.30 in a panic about Uncle Bert's missing birth certificate. She rings me because I am the family archivist, and expert on births, marriages and deaths. I say the certificate was last seen in the possession of Grandad, who died in September, so I suppose Grandma has it. Evidently, the authorities refuse to give Eddy a passport until she becomes a naturalised Englishwoman. I promise to get a copy of the birth certificate from Leeds or wherever the Bramley records for the 1920s are kept. Bed and sleep after 1.


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Tuesday May 21, 1974

A cold, rainy day. Mum and Dad go to Nottingham to be with poor Auntie Eddy, who is beside herself with worry. Lynn comes home from school at 2.30, her exams having finished, and she prepares for Al Dixon's birthday celebrations tonight. Listen to a few records and then leap into a hot bath. Leaving at 4 I think I have avoided the rain but to my horror I find a deluge awaiting me in Leeds.

YP quite busy and we nip out at 9 for a few drinks in the Central where we see Peter Lazenby, John Morgan, etc. Pete tells me that the County Arcade in the city centre was razed to the ground earlier this evening. Pity really. Get taxi at 12 and find everyone in bed. Do likewise.

The EP revealed that the Duke of Edinburgh is to visit Guiseley on July 10. The duke is to attend a meeting at Aireborough Grammar School before going on to Bradford, no doubt passing the end of our lane.

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Monday May 20, 1974

Up at 7.30. See Judith Rushworth at Guiseley Train Station and Pamela. J was in hysterics about my list of possible bridegrooms which I drew up last week. She says she'd like to see more. At the YP I discover that Kathleen is on holiday for a week and that Anne is in charge. She is furious. Ray didn't come in last night and all the filing and work is piled up waiting to be done. She rings Ray and his wife informs us that he is ill. I immediately offer my services for night duty and Anne is greatly relieved. Sarah looks beautiful - the week without seeing her has made me realise just how pretty she is. Leave at 9.10 for home, passing Carol on the way. Mum comes in at 1.0 and we have fish and chips for lunch.

Valery Giscard d'Estaing is the President of France - the youngest in one hundred years. No doubt he'll put Wilson in his place about re-negotiating the terms of entry into the Common Market. M. Mitterrand would have been a better president from the Labour government's point of view, but I am glad the right wing managed to scrape through with a victory. Communists presidents are all very well, but not when they are only 22 miles across the English Channel!

Read Anita Leslie's 'Edwardians in Love' and see that 64 years ago this very day King Edward VII was buried at Windsor. I expect that morsel of information thrills you to bits.

YP at 5 (again!). Quiet and pleasant evening, and go for a drink with my racing correspondent friend. Home at 12.15 to find Mum and Dad drinking coffee. Poor Uncle Bert is seriously ill in hospital again and Auntie Eddy rang from Nottingham & was very upset. Poor Sue took the call and it choked her. Mum and Dad are going to see him at the earliest opportunity tomorrow. Mother has said all along that Uncle Bert was far worse than any of us realised and it now seems she is correct. She says they'll amputate his foot, or even his whole leg, within the next few months, and Mum is invariably right.

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Thursday September 13, 1973

Grandfather's send off. Go to Benton Park in the morning and come home at 12.0. Mother, Dad and I leave for Pudsey to collect grandfather's oldest friend, Joe Dickinson. He seems upset when he gets in the car, and Dad diplomatically keeps him talking to prevent him dwelling on the sadness. Arrive at Liversedge, or was it Heckmondwike (?) at 1.30. The four of us go for a coffee. See Uncle Harry at 1.45.

The day is somewhat cold and overcast and the five of us go into the local park in order to kill time before 2.30. Auntie Janet comes running into the park to tell us that Auntie Jadwega is coming on the bus (from Nottingham) to Heckmondwike, where we can then meet her. By 2.30 she is still nowehere to be seen. We can do nothing but leave for the chapel of rest without her. Uncle Joe, Auntie Ethel, Jeremy and Janet and young Nicholas are coming down the street with Uncle John and Auntie Sheila. Arrive chapel for brief prayers. Grandma, looking very brave, with her sons, arrives. Thus, we are all assembled. Still no Auntie Jadwega.

Go to the crematorium, where Auntie Dorothy is waiting. No Uncle Les or family. Terrible service - the Salvation Army. It's not as though I have any prejudice against the Salvation Army, but they made it such a theatrical affair. It's not as if Grandfather ever possessed a tamborine. The cremation was terrible. All ultra-modern and repulsive.

It appealed very much to my sense of humour when, at the end, a hymn came on the record player and the curtains were drawn across the coffin. Somewhat like a Dave Allen sketch on tv. One cannot beat a good traditional burial. Auntie Janet was screaming at the end.

Leave at 3.10 for Grandma's at Nelson St, Liversedge, where about 20 members of the Rhodes family are gathered. Auntie Dorothy went immediately home of course. Pandemonium! Auntie Jadwega arrived in a taxi at 3.15 - all in black with a massive black umberella. (She's the Polish-born wife of Dad's brother, Uncle Bert). She was very distressed of having missed the funeral of her father-in-law. Still half in and half out of the taxi she was shouting in her thick Polish accent: "Oh I could cry. We go first to Wakefield, then to Barnsley Oh so slowly. I vos so mad." The noise she was making had everybody out on the street and Grandma with Auntie Janet came to investigate. She bounded from the car and embraced Grandma. "Oh I am so fumigated!" (I think she meant to say she was 'fuming' with rage and not fumigated.) Poor Auntie Eddy (her nickname) had come all the way from Nottingham only to remain at Grandma's for 10 minutes, clutching her big umberella between her massive knees. I think she must be 16st.

Anyway, I hope she really didn't mean 'fumigated' or else our house is lousy today. I may joke, but I love her really. Leave at 3.45. Take poor Joe Dickinson home and bring Auntie Jadwega back to Pine Tops for tea. Spend a quiet night. Mum is being experimented on by Aunt Jadwega, who is a masseuse.

After Dad had taken Eddy for her train at 8 he went out for a drink with Mum and Uncle Harry, my favourite uncle on Dad's side of the family. They came home at 12.0. with loads of drink, and we all sat until 2am. Uncle H stayed the night.

What a day!

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