Saturday August 11, 1979

_. Before retiring last night Ally and I listened to Rachmaninov's 2nd piano concerto [Maura Lympany] sprawled on the dining room carpet. We decided to go out for luncheon today - and WE DID!  At 12:30 we went into Leeds and ate steak at Jacomelli's on Boar Lane. Rare rump steak and red wine. Wonderful conversation. Ally insisted on paying for our lunch and  the £7.44 will be forever engraved upon my heart. Afterwards we walked across Leeds hand in hand gazing into shops and making the usual noises associated with 'window shopping'.

Out tonight with Ally, Dave L, and Maria. A weird combination, but we had a fun evening. Dave is always an adventurous drinker, and he took us to the Travellers Rest at Crimple. We only ever venture in that direction with David. Maria told us all the sordid details of child-bearing. _____.

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Wednesday August 2, 1978

I phoned Jacq at Dacre Son & Hartley to report that Dave isn't coming out tonight and cancelled our meeting too, or rather postponed it until tomorrow when we're going to the Ostlers.

At tea time whilst preparing to go to Lawn Road David phoned to say he can go out after all because the man from the 'Pru had been and gone in the space of ten minutes.

Christine came at 8 from Philip Birdgarden's (yes, she's going out with him again)and we drove to David's where we found him in a terrible state. He has conjunctivitis and is clad in a large pair of dark spectacles and clasping a large family~sized box of Kleenex. At first he said he was not going to join us, but we protested strongly and he relented. Christine is like a bloody witch when it comes to persuading people to change their minds.

Dave amused us at the Crown with his specs and Kleenex. I do think his eyes improved as the night went on. Christine was drinking Bailey's Irish Cream, or something, and we all became slightly intoxicated. At 10:30 we took Dave home and Christine came up for a coffee. She spent an hour with me, Mum and Dad discussing the 'Jersey Project' and her family history.

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Wednesday June 14, 1978

Happy Birthday, David Ian Lawson. And other than this I am afraid I have nothing else to say to any of you today. It hurts me because you know how I hate leaving large, white blank spaces. I'm simply lacking in the old grey material this afternoon and the fourteenth day of June leaves me cold. The weather wasn't up to much and I was closeted away in the confines of the YP for the entire day which cannot do much to alleviate your bordedom so I'll just say bye bye. Bye Bye then.

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Tuesday May 2, 1978

Continuing torrential weather. Jacq and I went by train to Leeds arriving there at 8:10am. She went to the YWCA to slip into something befitting a Dacre, Son and Hartley employee. I astounded them all at the YP by my early presence.

The YP was dead. I scrounged a lift to Guiseley at 4 with Delia & Sarah.

More ghastly salad for tea and afterwards I phoned Stockport Dave to tell him I cannot afford to go over on Saturday, and he suggested coming to see me instead. ________________.

I didn't mention this at the time but last week Dave of Gloucester phoned to say he couldn't make it to Helen and Graham's on May 19. I am now going to have to contact Helen to decline the long standing invitation ~ yet again. They'll be taking it personally before very long. I was so looking forward to seeing them again. Jacq and I discuss going together to see the Malins, but the week after it is Trixie's 50th birthday party, and the fare to Peterborough we simply cannot manage.

Tonight watched a programme about the Great Train Robbery (1963) and then retired to bed at 11:30.

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Thursday March 23, 1978

Maundy Thursday.

Mama and Papa had a Maundy Thursday wine party for the Nasons and Edith & Ernest. I was subdued for some reason. Mama pointed this out to me. I cannot be forever hurtling around like a circus act but today I do feel uncommunicative, quick tempered and morose. Sorry. The wine flowed nicely but I stuck to ale for a change. I did not want a crashing hangover for tomorrow's expedition up the Wharfedale valley. David L phoned to see what I was up to and he said he was going to call in tomorrow with a rabbit for Mama as an Easter gift. An Easter Bunny as it were. He was very cheerful & it was great to hear him.

Princess Margaret: 'parasite'.

I heard from Christine today and she was sad at the thought of my absence over the festive season. I told her I would phone tomorrow with my holiday itinerary. If it hails and pisses down tomorrow one place where I will not be closeted over Easter is in a tent, waterproof or otherwise.

Mr Prefab Mobile-Home, MP, today referred to Princess Margaret as a 'parasite' in the House of Commons. The acting Speaker asked him to withdraw the insult and the offensive communist swine did so. These terrible men really should be suspended from sittings following disgraceful episodes of this kind. The poor princess cannot even answer her critics and must go on, undaunted, with her public duties with the brilliance and expertise for which she is renowned throughout the entire civilized world.

-=-

Friday January 6, 1978

Epiphany. Delivered my application form back to YTV and all I can do now is wait and hope. The girls were ever so curious when I left the office at noon and headed in the direction of the TV headquarters. They suspect I'm having a clandestine meeting with someone. Good, I'll keep them guessing.

Toy Womble...

Tonight David L phoned and we decided to go out to the Fox & Hounds. It was just like old times with just the two of us having a drink and a chat. I am always so happy and at ease when David is around. He is a real true friend. Chris, Pete M, Steve Hudson, Martyn and Tony came in later on followed by Laura Pattison (nee Butchart) and husband, Dave. Chatted to Tony. _______. At 11 they all shot off to Oakwood Hall and Dave and I paid a visit to John and Maria's. They were entertaining George and Jane, but they left on our arrival. David can be delightfully malicious on occasions. He told Maria that he hoped she wouldn't be jealous that was intending to go to Lynn & Dave's wedding when he hadn't bothered to turn up at her and John's! Laughed and tittered, we did. Maria gave David a massive quantity of vodka and me some revolting coffee wine which came from Dad. We stayed until after 1:00am and David played happily with JPH's toy 'Womble'.


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Wednesday January 4, 1978

_.The Christmas tree came down tonight and the festival of Yuletide is well and truly done for another year.

Marita: premonition.

Marita gave me a lift to Rawdon from Wellington Street and she told me that her grandfather had died on Dec 27, and that she had a premonition of the event whilst at David's on Boxing Day. How can such a phenomena be explained? When the nursing home phoned on the morning after the party she knew before answering the call just what the news would be. Weird really.

_______. You'll be pleased to know my scars have just about healed over. My nose is slightly marked at the bridge but elsewhere is mended. Dom Melville's final interview with my assailant was a travesty of justice. In fact he took the side of the lad who assaulted me, saying he (Kirk) 'is a nice, quiet lad.'



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Tuesday June 14, 1977

Left work at 12 unable to tolerate any more. Had a bite at home and then went down the lane to post David L's birthday card. Well, it's not exactly a birthday card more of a 'Congratulations on the Birth of Your Delightful Son' type of card.

Dave: 22nd birthday

The telephone engineer came and mended the phone (what else did you expect him to do?). No sooner is it repaired that I am bombarded with calls. Peter N rang to say Mama had contacted him from WALES this morning to enquire what had happened to us because the phone seemed to be ringing but nobody was answering. They're having bad weather and I have snatches of conversation mentioning Carnarvon, Llandudno and Pembroke, &c. Mother won't like Wales at all. The Welsh are a hideous, unfriendly race and the only decent Welshman is the prince of that name.

I then spoke to Carole and we decided - or perhaps I decided - not to go see the Barbra Streisand film on Thursday. No doubt it will be Oakwood Hall again and all that goes with it. Being a forthright, far-seeing couple we end the conversation not knowing what the hell we're doing.

I took afternoon wine with Edith and Ernest. Lend Edith my copy of 'Majesty'.

That night: Made my first visit to the Hare and Hounds at Menston since May 6. Martyn came up and we managed to get a lift from Naomi. Lynn manages very well behind the bar. She appears drawn and pale and lacking in that famous zest. Martyn didn't seem to notice anything odd. I told him _____________. A sad thing to have to say but inevitable. __________.

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Friday March 11, 1977

CB's 21st party. It's a happy birthday also today to Lady Falkender's best friend.

CB: pot fulls of pernod.

Up at 9. Yes, it's my day off too. Leapt into the bath and then prepared for my visit to Pudsey. Susan contributes a few bob to my Auntie Mabel Flower Appeal. To Auntie Mabel's for lunch. On the way I bump into Uncle Peter and Auntie Jean who are out shopping. Chat for a few minutes. Stay with Auntie M until 4pm.

CB's 21st (birthday) party at the Hare. Only spent 67p. Everyone got incredibly pissed up. Remember Marion Read? Maura Tobin? (see diary for Jan or Feb '75). Howled with Marion. She's quite mad. CB drank pot fulls of pernod all night (the pot is in fact a Silver Jubilee Commemorative mug).  At one point I was having to hold her up and we danced round the crowded room. We even kissed. She kept saying 'I didn't know I had so many friends'. David L came but was quiet. I chatted with MM. Tried to seduce Marita. Fondled the future Mrs Christine Airey. Judith said 'yes' to tomorrow night. Good.

-=-

Monday February 21, 1977

It's afternoon when I'm awakened by Susan. She's ridden with another cold. She's like a lobster and sneezing her head off. Mum comes in for lunch and we eat hurriedly because she wants to get back to the grindstone after half an hour or so.

Dad comes in at 3 and says a lunatic from Highroyds threw himself under a train in Guiseley this morning. How he can come home for a hearty lunch after picking up bits of leg, foot and thigh God only knows.

I went to Guiseley Library and got Evelyn Waugh's diaries which have only just been published. CB and I always laugh about Evelyn Waugh, for some reason, and I often sign letters to her 'from Evelyn Waugh's Dad'.

Brisk walk to John and Maria's. Baby is in bed which is disappointing because I wanted to give him some chocolate. Give Maria a run-down on the weekly events and the details of Saturday night's orgy. She enjoys tales of carnage and lewd goings on.

Dave Lawson.

Back home by 5.30. Sue says Dave L's been on the phone. I ring him. He's on half-term until Wednesday. He comes for me at 8.30 and I'm surprised when he suggests we go to the Commercial. He hates the place, but his excuse is that it won't be quite so busy in the week. It's great going out with David because it's brilliant and soothing to know I'm not the only skint guy in the British Isles. After a couple of drinks we go on to see John & Maria who, unbelievably, are tucked up in bed at 9.30pm. This really made David's night and he pulled Maria's leg. John is given the quest of finding David a buck rabbit before he returns to Gloucester on Wednesday. Good old Mr Lawson. Surely one of the greatest persons I have ever met. Won't be seeing him again until CB's party on March 11.



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Wednesday October 27, 1976

To the Black .... Oh Sod it! Start again. To the Brown Cow in Horsforth at 8.15 with good old David L and eventually Marita, who arrives at 9.30, or so. Haven't seen David for months, and by all accounts the going is hard. He's returning to Gloucester on Friday in order to construct a duck pond, or something. A great chap is Dave. Marita is her usual self. Always on about old times but ________________.
Aren't I a bitter, twisted old git? Must be the influence of Lynne. Somehow I don't think Marita likes her at all. On arriving tonight she enquired: "Oh, how's whats her name ... Princess Anne .. getting on?" She refused even to say Lynne's name.

Home at 11 o'clock and watch the David Frost/Sir Harold Wilson quiz. I quite like Sir Harold even if he is a damned socialist. He's better than the current incumbent of 10, Downing Street, anyway. Audrey Callaghan is a nice bit of stuff though. Her tits! - Cor!! Jim sure knew what he was doing when he got her knickers off. Here endeth the crude, nasty bits for today.

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Friday August 6, 1976

Carole rang me at work this afternoon to say the usual things about feeling the same way about me, &c, and that she's written a letter and wants me to reply.

Dave L rings at 7 o'clock and says he'll give me a lift down to the Hare at 8.15. Ten minutes later Lynne rings and says she has arrived home a day early and we meet at 8.30 and go to the Hare. Everyone at the pub except Peter M and Christopher. Carol Smith says she saw Peter with Carole outside at about 8 but they didn't come in.

John & Maria, Jimmy and Elizabeth all come in together. A pleasant enjoyable evening. Jimmy tells me he's making a pond in the garden at Ridgeway, and I'm enthralled. I tell him I'll go round tomorrow and investigate. He's quiet all night and when I enquire: "What are you pondering about?" He replied: "My pond."

Maria is massive. Dave L says that when you walk past somebody it's over in a flash, but walking past Maria takes some time. One could read several chapters of 'War & Peace' and still be negotiating her bump. She is a big blue mass.

Home at midnight to watch a 1941 Ingrid Bergman epic. Not very good really. Make coffee for Lynne and she disappears over the horizon at something like 1.30.

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Monday June 14, 1976

David L 21. Go into the office at 9.30am. Mr Lawson came of age today. Poor David appears to be in a bad way actually. What with the duodenal ulcer and the failure to get a teaching position I cannot imagine him having a wild, revelrous (sic) birthday at all. To be compelled to passing a sober 21st birthday doesn't bear thinking on. MM and Marita are of course going down (to Worcester) at the weekend and I did intend to join them until I discovered that it clashed with the YP Father's Day trip to Blackpool & my name has been on the list for some considerable time. David can easily take offence that I fear he will cut off diplomatic relations when he learns I won't be able to make it to Worcester - my last chance to visit before he finishes for good at the beginning of next month.

Go to Rawdon at 8pm at get a lift to the Dyneley with Marita - it's Lynne's 19th birthday celebrations. Denise, Chris, Pete, Lynne (looking ravishing) arrive at the Dyneley and after one drink we go to the Scott's Arms (at Sicklinghall) again. Lynne and I went with Marita. Fail to get into the right spirit and behave in a sombre fashion all night - even at Denise's where we go afterwards for coffee. I tell Lynne I'll ring her in the week when I'm more wealthy. She tells me about her situation when her Mum & Dad move to Thornton-le-Dale. She'll stay with an aunt in Leeds until Christmas and then consider her position more carefully.

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Tuesday May 18, 1976

A warm, pleasant day. Go into town at lunchtime and collect the two Elton John records and at the same time order 'Make Me Smile' by Cockney Rebel for Christine. Why can't a chap buy a ladyfriend a gift occasionally? Nip unaccompanied into the Ostlers and have a couple of lagers.

Main topic at work is the coming events of Saturday night. Darryl Wills says he's coming when he hears that Sarah is attending. If she brings Peter, her boyfriend, we'll all be done for, but knowing Sarah I can see her turning up in a single capacity just to please me (wishful thinking).

Mr Monkman was buried today at 2.30. Dad and Ernest Blackwell represented the Hawksworth Lane residents, but I didn't fancy the idea at all. Funerals are not things one should rush into are they?

David rings at 7 o'clock to say his Dad is in hospital following a mild heart attack! God Almighty! That family is in a bad state! Mr Lawson always appears to be such a healthy chap too. He comes up to our place at 8.30 (David) and we go to the Queen's on Apperley Lane to meet Marita and Denise for a few drinks. It made a change going out on a Tuesday. We had a few laughs. David goes back into hospital on Friday and doesn't think he'll be well enough to come on Saturday.

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Saturday May 15, 1976

David L's renunciation of alcohol deters him from dwelling for long periods in public houses and I sympathise with him entirely. If I'd been told not to touch the stuff again (drink) a dimly lit ale house would be last place you'd find me. The poor sod must have suffered a lot because his diet now prevents him from eating virtually anything he ate prior to his illness.

Go see 'Cabaret' with David at 6.30 in Shipley. Excellent film. Four years old though, but much better than I thought it would be. Only about 20 people in the cinema.

Home at 10.45 and see 'The Hound of the Baskerville's' on the BBC. A pathetic film in which Peter Cushing gives a poor, half-hearted performance as Sherlock Holmes. Conan Doyle would be spinning in his grave I'm sure. Never once seen Cushing in a decent film.

Retire to bed at 1.30am or thereabouts and sit watching the moon which looks quite full.

-==-

Friday May 14, 1976

Eileen and I go to the Ostlers at 1pm for yet another 'liquid' lunch. We havn't been out together for quite a long time and it certainly made a change. Leave work at 4.30 for yet another weekend.

David, out of hospital, collects me at 8 o'clock and we go to the Hare & Hounds. Christine Dibb and her boyfriend are holding court, and Judith R and Kathryn are in. J offered her condolences about Carole. I feel nervous and peculiar because I know Miss Phillips will be coming in. She arrives with Chris and says hello quite cordially. They're followed by Andy, Linda, Pete M and Denise, and then Keith B and John and Maria. CB comes in with Roger. Poor David cannot touch alcohol before Christmas and even after that he'll never be allowed to get pissed again. Horrific isnt it? He drank tomato juice, but this disagreed with him, and he had to drink water. We decide to go see Liza Minelli in 'Cabaret' tomorrow.

Move on to the Black Bull in Otley. ______________________________.

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Friday May 7, 1976

Hilarious day. Get up at about 9 o'clock and Christine arrives about an hour later. Take a photograph of her wearing Dad's police helmet which should be brilliant.

Arrive Otley at 11 o'clock and have a greasy sandwich in an equally greasy cafe and then go straight in to the Black Bull. The weather is becoming really bright and warm, and we watch its progress from the cool darkness of the bar. Drink until 4 o'clock and then walk up to see David in hospital. The ward is boiling hot and most of the patients lay in semi-conscious exhaustion on top of their beds. We can only bear it for half an hour or so. David looks pounds better and says he may be out by next weekend. Walk back to Otley Market Square and once again into the Black Bull which opens for the evening onslaught. The bar staff are baffled as to why we aren't unconscious. Christine and I discuss our relationship and we come to the conclusion that we'll get married in twenty years time when we both look round and realise we've been left on the shelf.

Leave the Black Bull at 7.30 in a thunderstorm and go straight to the Hare in a taxi. Immediately on our arrival she throws herself into the arms of Roger Boughton - the blackguard - and I go sit with Chris, Denise, Andy, Linda, Sue & Peter. I begin to have a hangover at 9.30. Nearly got thrown out of the pub after groping with Denise for all to see. Chris brings me home and I go up to bed after cheese on toast.

--==--

Wednesday May 5, 1976

I cannot believe that the events of the past few days have really taken place. Carole trying to kill herself? And God it is all my fault. If I had not ended everything she would never have contemplated such action. But no amount of wrist slashing will make me go back on my decision. How could anyone go out with a girl knowing that any upset or setback could result in her trying to do away with herself?
She must be unbalanced. I feel sick about the whole business.

Woke up at 8.30. Mum tells me she and Dad may go see Carole this lunchtime on my behalf. I will never go. Get up at 9 o'clock and want to ring someone. Chris is having a morning in bed and won't come to the phone; ring Denise, and she is on day-off, & so I'm totally foiled. Should I blame myself? Did I give her a false impression all those months? Did she expect more from me than she received? I have always made my position quite clear, but she may not have understood. She is not the perceptive kind. Poor girl.

Sit alone in complete silence for what seems like ages. Feel numb and sickened off.

Peter and Chris come up at 12.30 and I tell them the news. They are shocked. Chris says she must need pyschiatric treatment. They try to assure me that I am not to blame. The three of us go the Commercial for lunch and then to collect CB at 2.30.

Go see David in hospital and he looks greatly improved. Denise and Marita call in to see him and I tell them about Carole. __________________________. Home at 4.30.

Dad went to see Carole this lunchtime and found her in a terrible state. He lectures me on my treatment of women, and says the situation has been dynamite for a long time. However, he has no sympathy for what she did & is sickened by it all.

Lynn & Susan go see Carole this evening and I go to the Hare & Hounds with John, CB, Pete and Chris. CB says she and Chris have more or less finished but that they're both waiting for the first one to make a move.

-==-

Monday May 3, 1976

Go to Bradford with my holiday money and meet Denise at the Painted Wagon. She tells me she and Tony finished on Easter Saturday which surprised me. I tell her it's only a matter of time before Carole and I are also washed up on the rocks.

Glad that the holiday is paid for anyway. Came home on the bus brooding about Carole.
Yesterday she was like a cabbage. Her moronic appearance is getting me down. I decide to break it off once and for all.

Dad takes me to see David in hospital at 4 o'clock. He looks terrible. A bottle of blood hangs above his bed with a tube leading to his arm. Five pints (of blood) he's had since last night. A hemorrhaged duodenal ulcer at 21 is a rare thing I think. He still managed to crack the occasional joke though.

Meet Carole at 7.30 and by 8 o'clock I've made my feelings known to her. Four hours of tears from both of us and hysterics from her which included a spectacular battle in the pouring rain at 1.15am. She looked heart broken and desperate but how could we have continued in a 'relationship' when I feel so bored & uninterested ?

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Sunday May 2, 1976

2nd after Easter. To Mallory Park in Derbyshire or Leicestershire. It's at Kirby Mallory anyway. See a few good motor races and get a glimpse of Noel Edmonds, who was surrounded by nine million female admirers (Christine and Carole included). It is nauseating the way women find him so attractive. (Jealousy).

Leave at about 4.30 and come back to the Menston Arms where Carole has an accident with a ham sandwich and slops the filling all over the carpet. Move hurriedly on to the Black Bull in Otley. From 9 o'clock until 10.30 Carole said nothing at all. Everyone remarks on her sullen, dull witted appearance.

Home at closing time. Carole fell out of Chris's van and hurt her leg. What a state. She was still covered in the remnants of the the Menston Arms sandwich too. She's so accident prone.

Get home where Sue tells me David L is in hospital again. Lynn is going on at me for not having visited him since he started being ill, but David isn't the type to appreciate wailing friends and relatives at the foot of his bed. However, he'll have to grin and bear it tomorrow because I will descend on the hospital with due ceremony.

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