Sunday December 24, 1978

4th Sunday in Advent.

Christmas Eve. Lynn's first Christmas party (at Lawn Rd) tonight. I am ill and taking a Yuletide recess.

We watched a film show (provided by Marlene and Frank) of Lynn and Dave's wedding. Auntie Mabel wiped her spectacles a few times and people shuffled in their seats.

Santa Claus came at 10. Auntie Mabel exclaimed: "Oh, what a sexy old Santa!" It wasn't the real Santa at all, it was David Greenwood __________________________.

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Friday October 6, 1978

Woke up with a really bad head at 7:30. I annoy Sue because I refuse to be enthusiastic first thing on a morning. After all, I didn't actually climb into my bed until 4am, and that came after gulping down more plonk with Jim & Margaret. It's Margaret's birthday on Tuesday ~ another excuse for a party.

Work was like Hell on earth. My eyes took on a scarlet hue and a pale, revolting complexion took over and occupied my face. However, at 1pm Sarah, Carol J, Eileen and I went across to Parker's. It was hideous. I simply could not drink and felt quite faint.

Eileen was like a stuffed osprey in the natural history section of the British Museum, or wherever they store the stuffed, glassy eyed birds. Sarah met an old flame and proceeded to chat him up. I could take no more and wandered outside at 2 and sat on a wall to wait for them. All too ridiculous for words.

Jacq phoned this afternoon and asked: "Is this Let's Be Nasty to Jacq Week?" __________________________________.

After tea Auntie Mabel, Marlene, Frank. Mark & Debbie came bringing the cine film of the wedding. It's marvellous and well worth seeing. I was too tired to be at my best with relatives. Bed at 11:30.

Lynn, Dave, Sue and Pete set off late to Alison's to be kitted out with bridesmaid dresses, &c for the forthcoming marital celebrations. They're due back late tomorrow.

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Sunday January 22, 1978

9th Sunday before Easter.

Up late. Breakfast was cheerful and witty. Dave is always in his element first thing. My dynamo never becomes fully charged until after sunset, which is a sad thing.

We all went to Marlene and Frank's for a party this afternoon. Auntie Mabel was on form playing Scrabble with Mark & Debbie. One of her words was "TIT". We all dissolved.

Lynn asked Debbie to be one of her bridesmaids. Lynn and Dave left early to go to Audrey Baker's, and Sue and Pete were almost asleep with boredom. I tend to enjoy these family functions and don't understand how so many youthful people give up on them and lay down and die.

Wharfedale Gate, Arthington.

By 7pm Sue & Pete could stand no more and they brought Dave and I back to Guiseley. The four of us (Sue, Pete, Dave and I) went to the Malt Shovel at Burley-in-Wharfedale and then on to the Wharfedale Gate where Dave and Pete showed Sue the rudiments of pool. Or was it billiards? I don't know the difference anyway. It made an excellent change from the norm. Sue is in her element surrounded by men. I am sure she could go on holiday to a foreign land with a coach party of Rugby League players and have no qualms.

On to a Chinese take-away where we made pigs of ourselves. Back at Pine Tops I entertained Dmitri, our feline friend from next door, and we said our goodbyes to David. A good weekend.

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Monday October 25, 1976

Work at 9.30. Sarah isn't too well. Bugger about and manage to finish for 2.30 or so. Home by 5.15. Have a bath and then Lynne comes up at 8 o'clock with my luggage. Put on my new trousers, red shirt and cardigan. Just the two of us to the Hare & Hounds at 8.30 for an hour. She goes home afterwards [to Gipton Wood Crescent that is] because Aunt Lil has her evening meal ready. Quite a good night at the Hare. We are becoming more and more close I think. [We are] staying over here this coming weekend. She's coming on Friday and going straight to Thornton-le-Dale after we've been out. The weekend after I'm going to Thornton-le-D with her on Friday [Nov] 5, and coming back on Sunday [Nov] 7, to go to Auntie Delia's luncheon.

See the Queen on TV at 11 o'clock tonight officially opening the National Theatre, on the South Bank. [The South Bank of what? Not of the Ouse, I think]. A modern, updated version of the National Anthem was played at the opening and, in my opinion, I think that perhaps the composer should be hanged with piano wire. Nauseating it really was. Bed at midnight.

Oh, by the way. Auntie Mabel, Marlene and Frank, Mark & Debbie came at 6.30 for an hour. Sorry, I forgot to mention it earlier.

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Monday August 23, 1976

Need I mention the weather? Just take it from me that things remain just the same until I give you further notice.

At work Sarah tells me that Peter [Baker] says he is a divorcee, but she doesn't believe him, and thinks he may still be married. She thinks it would be interesting to investigate him. We need a private detective on the job.

Marlene, Frank, Auntie Mabel and the children come here after tea. At 7.30 Sue, Pete and I walk down to Silverdale Drive to see John & Maria's house. They got the key on Friday morning. John was putting up a cornice in his dining area but it soon became too dark to work. After a quick inspection of the upstairs paintwork he brings us home in the VW. Mum had departed to Maria's to see Molly.

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Sunday March 7, 1976

1st in Lent. A funny Ha Ha day. Wake up at what seems like late afternoon but it's only lunchtime. Uncle Harry is just making off downstairs and I yell my farewells through the bannister. I will never forget the hysterics we had in the early hours of this morning.

Marlene, Frank and the kids come half an hour after I'm up and the screams of childish laughter aren't the remedy for a hangover at all. To avoid further punishment we, that is Carole, Sue, Pete, Jackie and I walk down into Guiseley in a mild snow storm (not joking either) and we end up at 69, Silverdale Drive - John's future abode. Everyone remarks how tiny the place is, but we all agree it's all they require - that is unless Maria is blessed with quads or sextuplets.

Back to our place for 4 where Marlene & Frank are still being entertained. We talk of memories of Marlene & Frank visiting us at Goldthorpe, &c, and of John's baby speech defect. (He found difficulty pronouncing the letter 'R').

For the rest of the afternoon and evening we're sat in front of the TV and I go to bed at about 12.30 after having had a whisky with Jackie & Mum. David, who is 20 tomorrow, took Carole home at about eleven o'clock.

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Sunday February 15, 1976

Septuagesima. Woke up at 11.30 with a hangover. I must have been pissed last night.____.

I don't like the way Christine treats Carole at times. No love is ever lost between them. One thing that's particularly grating is the way Christine insists on calling Carole "Fanny" in a very cold manner.

Marlene, Frank & the children come round after lunch and they bring John a little engagement gift.

Carole rang at 2pm and we went to see 'The Return of the Pink Panther' at Leeds with Susan and Peter at 5pm. The film is hilariously funny. Peter Sellers' accent is brilliant. We got a bus home - the the White Cross - and the four of us devoured fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's. Carole felt as though one of her headaches was coming on and I deposited her on a bus homeward. I returned home in a descending fog.

Poor Carole is still having parent trouble and it all stems from the business about me being 'tight-fisted'. The Phillipses are funny buggers and I have long harboured the opinion that Lady Phillips is deranged and psycopathic, but it's hardly my place to go into the old hag's faults here in these pages. She is so horrible that she would in fact make a perfect mother-in-law.

Bed at 12 o'clock midnight.

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Sunday December 21, 1975

Work tonight ..... Ugh!

Marlene, Frank, Mark and Debbie are visiting Mum & Dad.

Go to Maria's place at 2.30 to see Carole for a few hours before going into the office. Sit with Carole, Maria and John in front of the tv for a couple of hours until 4 o'clock, just as they are about to start Sunday dinner.

Work was completely dull, as it invariably is on a Sunday, and I leave at 10.30.

See the end of a pre-war Humphrey Bogart film and consume several whiskies, which give me a sudden burst of Christmas spirit.

Do not rellish work in the morning. I wish that Santa Claus could come a few days early for a change. Somehow I don't think he will.

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Sunday November 30, 1975

Advent Sunday. St Andrew's Day. Wake up feeling quite normal considering the amount of alcohol I consumed at the Minstrel's Gallery.

Carole rings me from Maria's to say they are going to church this afternoon and 'do you mind if I don't see you until teatime?' I say I'll just about survive (God knows how) and return to the lounge to discuss food with Lynn and Dave. We are all on the verge of starvation and the aroma of Mum's cooking doesn't help much.

Marlene, Frank and the children come round at 2 for lunch and because of the large numbers involved we have to have two sittings in the dining room. I am on second sitting with John, Lynn, Sue, Dave and Pete.

I spend the afternoon playing a chess-like game with Frank. Really cosy it was too,and made such a change from the usual Sunday afternoon activities. Frank was clad in pink socks, orange and green checked trousers, a white shirt with black men all over it, a lime green and blue striped tank top, and a repulsive vomit coloured tie. However, I do suppose that one goes through a phase like this when one hits 30. Funny really.

The Harwoods go at 5.30 and John and I are summoned to the Macdonald residence. Mr & Mrs Mac are keeping vigil around grandfather's hospital bed but hope is fading fast. They look at his possible passing quite objectively though. I suppose to Roman Catholics death is like going on holiday.

After an hour at the Macdonald stately pile I leave, for health reasons, with Carole in the direction of home. We watch television, and that's about it really. Nothing thrilling or outrageous. Just the days events as seen through the eyes of a raving lunatic called Michael Rhodes.

NEWS: Graham Hill, the racing driver, was killed in a plane crash last night. Now I'll just go upstairs and lay down.

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Friday August 8, 1975

Last day at work for over two weeks, and I can't say I'm sorry to get away. Home at 6 o'clock in pouring rain. Thunder and lightning. The lamp in Lynn's bedroom exploded (in the storm) and quite unpeturbed she went on drying her hair with the hairdryer plugged into the same socket!

We were chasing round the house stuffing things in suitcases - Uncle Jack, Auntie Mabel, Marlene, Frank & the children arrived after tea.

At 9 o'clock we'd finished everything and John went off to the Hare with Maria to say a final goodbye. I went down with Lynn and Dave for a quick pint but didn't enjoy it one bit. It's a nerve wrecking experience going off to the other side of the world with only a younger brother and an absent minded bank clerk (no insult intended, Chris).

Mum and Dad take us to the Wellington Street bus station at 10.30 and we bid our fond farewells. Leave Leeds a few minutes after 11 and I'm awake all night until we get into Victoria coach station at 5am. John slept, as he usually does, like a three month old baby. Lucky lad.

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Saturday February 8, 1975

Up at noon. John and I take the car into Guiseley and then get a train into town (Leeds). Wander round aimlessly looking in shop windows and laugh at the craze which certain male members of our generation have adopted - wearing trousers ridiculously short. Poor lads - they've no idea at all. Home at about 5.
Marlene, Frank and the kids have come for tea. Mark is a nice little lad and we have several games of marbles before and after tea.

Leave for the Hare & Hounds at 8 so that John can attempt to pick up the girl he was with yesterday at Wikis (Naomi Downing). We're going to Tiffany's by the way. The female doesn't respond and we leave for the Fleece empty handed. Pick Christine B up and then meet Peter Mather and Andy in the Fleece. Have several drinks whilst waiting for Lynn & Dave. Andy goes down to the Hare & Hounds and well drive like hell let loose to Leeds. Never again. Tiffany's is the most diabolical so called disco I have ever had the misfortune to attend. Nobody in there looked younger than 65. Most of them with fond memories of Disraeli's last government and the Relief of Ladysmith. Truly revolting. Have a laugh all the same but vow with all my heart, body and mind, never to set foot in the place again as long as I live. The others liked the place, and some were so taken in by it all that they actually said they'd go again! Back to Ratcliffe Hall for coffee until nearly 4am. Absolutely tired and shagged out after the exertions of the evening. Bed and deep sleep at the unearthly hour of 5 o'clock.

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Saturday October 19, 1974

King John died 1216. Oliver Wilson born 1893.

Up feeling sprightly at 7. Poor Lynn was taken ill late last night & does not get up with us. I have an orange juice.

Go to the YP. Home at 12.30. Spend an hour in the bath.

Marlene, Frank, and children come at 2 and stay to tea. Very disappointed at about 6.20 when I ring Lynne. We want to go to this party but nobody else wants to. Subsequently we decide not to bother going out at all & call it a day. Promise to see her on Sunday at all costs.

Mum says I can accompany her, Dad, Marlene and Frank to the Commercial, and we all go at 8.30. Back at 10 to find Lynn and Dave entertaining the kids. My powers of persuasion fail to attract Lynn and David to the idea of the party at beloved Jackie's, and when John, Carol, Andy and Linda arrive they are also unmoved at the thought of an orgy at the Woolpack. Sit by candle-light watching a revolting film starring Ann-Margret. Bed at 1 feeling very unhappy indeed.

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Saturday January 19, 1974

Dad wakes me at 6.30. Feel absolutely gone to the world. Deaths door seems very near. Have a shower and listen to a dreadful BBC2 programme. Wake Sue at 7.45 and go for my train at 8. Work is absolutely fabulous. Whilst discussing old people I recall something old Auntie Mary (born 1878) told me about being related to somebody called Jackson who was Lord Mayor of Leeds. On researching this I discover that a William Jackson was Lord Mayor in 1895-6. Knowing Auntie Mary is a reliable source I am enraptured. Jackson went on to become a Member of Parliament. I am the great-great-nephew of a Conservative MP! If I mention this publicly I'll probably be lynched, what with the Three Day Week and the toilet paper shortage. 

 Frank and Marlene and the kids come for tea.Mark brought his Formula One racing cars. 

Frank makes Dad mad by referring to him as 'Uncle Lawrie'. He's only a decade younger than Dad. 

 At 8 John and I go to the Hare and Hounds. Denny and I have a laugh about pretending to be engaged. 

All the mob gathers in honour of the 19th birthday of Linda which takes place on Monday. At 10.30 I go in Philip Cartwright's car to the Cow & Calf. Dance until 2am. The college girls are great fun and we joke about cottage cheese manufacturing! Everyone piles into different cars, and poor Christine W and myself are left in the back of Pete's van. Home at 2.30. Wait in the garage until John comes home with the door key at some later hour. Well, 20 minutes later actually.

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Sunday November 18, 1973

Sir Gerald Nabarro-Oh-No-What-Ho has died in his Worcestershire constituency (very painfully) at the grand old age of 60. From all accounts it seems he fell into a coma whilst looking in at the Royal Wedding on his 23 inch colour tv set. He never regained consciousness. Anyway, that's one potential pedestrian killer out of the way. Yes, the death of this great public figure gives me a better chance of crossing the high street without being flattened beneath the wheels of one of his 27 Rolls-Royces. Indeed, this is a great day for living pedestrians throughout the civilised, and indeed uncivilised world.

At 3.45 John and I were accosted by Andy in his Dad's car. He escorted us, and Chris, to Guiseley Swimming Baths. After thirty minutes in the water we drank some revolting coffee in a cafeteria and went home. The chlorine lingers for hours, but I must admit, it does my sinuses a world of good.

Marlene, Frank, Mark and Debbie come for tea. We spend an enjoyable evening. The kids are tremendous fun - so typically Wilson. See the second repeat of the first repeat of 'Shadow of the Tower' a drama based on Henry VII. It remains entertaining. Strangely enough, when the series was first screened (late 71) I began shaving. You may think I'm mad, but I remember silly things like that.

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Sunday June 17, 1973

Trinity Sunday. Lynn wakes me at 10.30. It's Father's Day. It's a commercial thing invented by the people who makes greeting cards - and a cheap copy of Mothering Sunday which is now also very commercially backed. Give Papa 7 cigars costing 77p.

Sue and Lynn made Mum and Dad's breakfast. He also received a 1lb box of toffees and some nutty chocolate.

Very, very cloudy day but warm. Dress and read until 12.30. Blast! Starting revising for Economics tomorrow. Life is one long swot these days. June rings at 2.45.

Have lunch at 2. Read Albert and Victoria until 3. Auntie Mabel, Uncle Jack, Marlene and Frank, Mark, and Debbie came at 3 and stayed until 8. The children, Mark, 5, and Debbie, 3, are beautiful with blond hair and hazel eyes. Auntie Mabel and I go onto the lawn and organise races for the children. Frank takes me to Westfield Fisheries at 6.30 - fish and chips 9 times!

Sit until 8.20, and get a lift to Rawdon in Frank's car. They drop me off near the Emmotts. Auntie Mabel laughs when I say "see you in church". Go to Emmotts. June and I drink lager. At 9.20 we walk to the Fleece, arriving at 10.10. Bust the fly on my jeans in the gents toilets. June gives me a safety pin and we went into Horsforth park so that she could fix my zip. June is the one and only. Come home at 11.40.

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