Friday September 1, 1978

David B's 'stag night' in Leeds. Jacq came here with me after work and this evening she went with Lynn and her cronies (including Sue of course) to Shipley and the Elma.

Dave and Trevor (his workmate) came here at 8 and we went with Peter N to the Station Hotel, supposedly for a bus. George Waite's car pulled up and out he came with John, Maria and a long~haired Alec McHarrie. ________________. Heavily pregnant Jayne Waite drove us to Jacomelli's in Leeds where things got under way. On to Cinderella Rockerfella's. All quite blurred. I recall attempting to persuade a young lady to call off her wedding set for next Saturday, and to marry me instead. She wasn't particularly attractive either. In fact she was squat and greasy.

Returned to Pool~in~Wharfedale at 2am where Dave, Pete, Trevor and I did hand stands on Pool Bank, and later at Dave's house we drank Audrey's supply of Creme de Menthe, Bailey's Irish Cream, coffee liqueur, and much more. No idea what time we went to bed.

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Saturday December 31, 1977

_.Jacqui and I went down to Guiseley and bought a birthday card for Mum and Dad. I chose a nice one without a revolting, soppy rhyme in it. I'm very particular about my choice of greeting cards. We then went to the Yorkshire Rose for a couple of hours. ____. It began to rain on leaving the pub and so I took her to John's for refuge only to find the house deserted. _____.

Pine Tops, Hawksworth Lane.

The party started tonight at the Hare & Hounds. Martyn and his girlfriend joined us. In came Christine Dibb and Graham, Maria, Libby, Jimmy, John, Sue, Peter N, Chris, Steve Hudson, Lynn, Dave B, Dave L, George and Jane, Nason's pals, MM and Marita, &c. Lynn was dressed in dungarees and wearing specs, one of my shirts and a tie! They all got on very well with Jacqui. _____. Libby Macdonald looked ghastly. No sign of CB or Carole. At 11:45pm a break away party, led by me, returned to Pine Tops where, to my horror, I discovered my key was locked in the house and I was locked outside. Where was Mum and Dad? They were at the Commercial drinking Southern Comfort and making merry. It was very embarrassing for me. But in a flash I knew what to do. Edith and Ernest's of course.  Armed with sherry and other obscene drinks about ten of us 'dropped in' on the dear couple. We all toasted the New Year with them as the clocks were striking 12 and I was locked outside, as is the custom, with Dmitri the Persian cat. Through the window I could see Marita and Ernest locked in a tight embrace and a host of jovial faces drinking David's cheap sherry. Oh dear, it's 1978 now.

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Tuesday July 5, 1977

Good weather continues but the forecast says it will change for the worst on Thursday. Who cares? With the coup d'etat in Pakistan we have far more important things to worry about.

The Ostlers.

Out at lunchtime to the Ostlers with Sarah. She and Peter B finished last night on a dramatic note - as her relationships always seem to end. Had 2 halves of lager and soaked up the details.

Comments on my haircut: Stephanie Ferguson says I look like something (note not somebody) from the Stranglers (a Punk Rock group) and later in the afternoon she toned it down to David Bowie. Sarah spoiled it all and crumbled my ego by saying I looked like 'the queer waiter at the Damn Yankee'.

Rang Carole at 2 and had it out with her. I said all the things that have been on my mind all weekend but left out the most pointed abuse because she said she was going to cry. We both blamed each other and then _____________. I called her all the names under the sun (except the really rude ones for some gentleman-like romantic reason) and arranged to go out with her on Thursday. Or perhaps I should say I decided we were going out on Thursday. She's bringing my T-shirt with her. Oh, it's all so mixed up, isn't it? My love life, or lack of it, is far from stable. Am I jinxed?

Cut the lawns tonight. Dave B came and took Lynn to her shift at the Hare - I went with them and on with Dave to George Waite's on business. Back to the Hare at 9 for the last hour. Naomi was quite chatty and says she'll send a postcard to Ibiza.

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Tuesday April 19, 1977

Got to work and felt particularly violent towards the moronic inhabitants of the crumbling building of my employ. Matt Shelley for one moved to the top of my assassinations list. Blimey, just because he's got no legs he thinks he can get away with bloody murder. Well, I for one don't have one ounce of pity or sorrow for him. Being pushed around all day eh! OK Big Matt I must say that reduces me to tears. If you want to go messing around with fast cars you must suffer the consequences. Piss off, old man!

Isn't it strange how I become enraged by certain people? Am I perhaps the murdering kind? No doubt at this very minute a Scotland Yard detective is combing these very pages for evidence. Well, hard luck, Constable. I'm not telling you just who I've killed or under which cabbage patch he or she is buried.

The Prince of Wales dined at Chequers last night and met the Cabinet. Queen Victoria wouldn't have liked that idea at all.

with Carole

Two phone calls at tea time. Auntie Mabel phones to say she met the ancient sister of one of Grandma Wilson's bridesmaids in Pudsey who told her that John Wilson married Levinyer Wood at St Paul's, Richardshaw Lane, and that my great-grandmother Wood had a baby daughter who died, also named Mabel. Good old auntie doing some family research for me.

Martyn rang to say the date with Gayle and 'Emu' is on for Friday. He suggested Manningham Fair but we debate whether the fair will still be there by Friday. Who can we contact to find out? Martyn suggests the Minister for Home AFFAIRS. No doubt my FAIRY godmother will drop in later with the answer.

Martyn thinks I'm insane dating the famous Emu. Even Tony, who falls for anything in knickers, gives great belly laughs when he hears her name mentioned. Do they know something perhaps which I do not? Can one catch horrible, incurable diseases from the emu? Tell me now before it's too late.

At 7.30 I went round to Ridgeway to see John and Maria who are in residence in the absence abroad of Jim and Molly. John is out with George (Waite) and Maria is entertaining Carole - our first meeting since March 9. Why does Carole bring out the imbecile in me? I go incredibly childish, and so too does Maria. The atmosphere is so infectious. We made such a racket laughing and forgot about the baby until John came in and reminded us. It must have been Ridgeway too .... memories of Carole, John, Maria, &c. You know the rest. She didn't mention Fogarty and neither did I. John drove me home at 10.30.

See funny old President Carter on the BBC.

-=-

Saturday May 29, 1976

Wake at some God forsaken hour with excruciating pains in my left leg. Cramp, I take it to be, but on inspecting the offending limb I discover a large conglomorate mass of what can only be described as nothing but vein. I sit on the edge of my bed and sigh. Why should it be my lot to undergo the trauma of a coronary thrombosis at my time of life? I am going to die without a fight, that's for certain. Ring Maria who doesn't know whether she's going to the wedding or not in the horribly wet conditions. I have a coffee and prepare a rough draft of my last will and testament.

To Menston at 12.45 and sit in the empty Methodist chapel for 10 minutes listening to the organist bashing away heartily. George Waite's Mum sits next to me and we sing the 23rd Psalm together. Only 15 people in church including the bride and groom. Helen looked fabulous - all flimsy and feminine - in fact like a Venetian lady from the 14th or 15th century, with the Juliet-style headdress. Both look so happy and matched and were the only people present who didn't seem to notice the pouring bloody rain. Maria and Carole arrived at 12.50 and sat on the other side of the chapel to me. Carole looked pale and almost insane. Her eyes dead and lifeless. The poor kid is taking life so seriously. She's going camping with Denise and 3,000 lads this afternoon. After the wedding Maria, Carole and I call in at the Hare for a drink. Carole leaves us at 3 and the two of us walk under Maria's umberella to Harry Ramsden's for a late luncheon.

Get home at 4pm. Pete M calls at 5 o'clock when along with Chris we leave for Pateley Bridge. Get to the pub at 7 o'clock and drink until 11 with the mob. Sleep in vans on a desolate hillside (Greenhow?). A good laugh all the same.

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Tuesday February 3, 1976

Busy day at work. Kathleen gets on my nerves at times. She fusses over such ridiculous things. Frustrated - that's what she is. A man would do her the world of good. Maybe a little crude, but true.

Sarah says Delia is planning for the day when I move into her place as a lodger. I thought they were having me on about this, but I actually think they would like me to stay there Monday-Friday when Mum & Dad go to Kirby Malzeard. That's if they ever do go to the Henry Jenkins Inn.

Carole rings this evening - 8.50 actually. She has one of her headaches. These crop up every couple of months or so. I can't figure it out how they keep recurring.

George Waite calls in to see John & is surprised to hear that J is going to beat him to the altar. George is getting married on June 19.

See "Fawlty Towers" starring John Cleese which is fantastically funny. Much better than 'Monty Python' because it's much more mature.

This Jeremy Thorpe affair makes me laugh. I'll write more on the subject later, but you mark my words when I say Jeremy is more involved than he cares to admit. Much, much more.

Bed at about 11.30.



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Sunday October 13, 1974

18th after Trinity. Before I recount the days events I ought to say something about Cousin Jackie, who is my favourite relation of all time, other than Uncle Albert. Never did I imagine that a small, pale, pig-tailed young girl of yesteryear would develop into a glamorous, well-proportioned young lady with tremendous prospects. I only hope she'll come to stay with us for years to come.

Up at about 12 for lunch. Sit listening to the radio and laughing with Jackie about Chris Ratcliffe. She was talking about him in her sleep, or so Lynn says. MM & Marita and even David come round after lunch and I pay Marita for the Appletreewick pics.

MM isn't coming home again from Sheffield until Oct 31, and David's not back from Worcester until Nov 1. Carol comes too, to cut John's hair. She also does Mum's hair. After tea & 'Pick of the Pops' Jackie departs for Pudsey, and John goes out with Carol, George Waite and Jane, to Harrogate.

I sit in front of the tv all evening until Lynn and Dave come back from the cinema. Dad, who comes in shortly after 'the lovers' arrive, gives David the breathyliser test. He was 'over the moon' and no doubt telling everyone down the Hare next week that he's been breathylised by a genuine policeman. Show Dave our photo albums, which kills him. Bed at 12.30.

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Tuesday May 28, 1974

Up at about 7.30. Back to the YP. Kathleen is once again at the wheel of power, and I tell her of my latest bother with Mr Austin-Clarke, over my money. She looks frightened when I say I've written to the old git, giving me that ' nobody ever actually writes to Mr Austin-Clarke' look. It rains in the afternoon, but by 5 it's brilliantly sunny with some wind. Austin-Clarke comes down to the office, and I thought he wanted to see me but he brought a bloke across to see Kate, whom I discover is to do the night duties commencing June 10. When Kate says he used to work in a travel agency I recall that Denny told me of the creep who worked with her and who had applied for the library post. I must ring Denny to get to know more sordid details about him.

Home at 6. George rings and tells us he's passed his driving test. Do not get out and in the bath until 9. See a film starring Glenda Jackson 'The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat As Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade'. It is of course the film with the longest title and I cannot really say that it is a good one because it isn't. See 'UFO' with Susan after devouring a tin of spaghetti and four slices of toast. Bed at about 1.


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Saturday May 18, 1974

Lynn and I go to Bradford where I spend £9.50 on a beautiful cheese-cloth shirt and a pair of trousers - long overdue. In Smiths we see Denny working in the travel agency and we spend an hour with her. Lynn and Denny get on so well together it's s shame they don't meet more often.

At 7 I ring round and make plans for the evenings entertainment and Chris says we'll meet at the Hare and Hounds. I ring Denny and tell her to be at Menston for 8. Chris rings back and says: 'We've changed plans, Mig,' which annoys me, and he says the venue is switched to the Dyneley Arms. However, I say that John, Denny and I are going to the Hare and Hounds and we'll probably see Chris later on at Wikis. At the H and H Denny is furious and says that Bruno brought her down and then drove off leaving her outside the pub. But we do enjoy ourselves and John sits with George Waite and Jane Lockyer and the latter gets horribly drunk and sits weeping in the centre of the Tudor Lounge much to John's amusement. Denny and I sit by the juke box and are joined by June's friend, Lorraine, and Christopher North, who I don't like. Lorraine tells me that June got in to Bingley College of Education, which is very nice. Whilst I was 'pointing Percy at the porcelain' Lorraine attempted to extract information from Denny, who played along with the game superbly. I came back and made Denny laugh by telling Lorraine that D and I were 'just good friends' followed by a knowing look and a titter. Lorraine was sent packing her suspicions aroused. No doubt June will soon know of my night out with Denise Akroyd, her arch-enemy. We walk to Wikis, and John follows on the bus. Denny and John are the first to dance, and Chris comes over alone at 12. At 2, Denny is picked up by 'an old friend' of the male sex, who proceeds to monopolise her for the remainder of the evening. Chris, having nowhere to go, comes to our place where I set up the camp bed in the lounge. I collapse in bed at 3 and sleep until 11.30.

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Friday April 5, 1974

My 19th birthday. Up at 7 and Lynn and Sue present me with a polo-necked jumper (a nice cream colour), and Mama gives me £3. When I leave for the YP it's the last time I will see the family until Sunday night. Mum waves me off at the door with a: "take care of yourself", etc. A rather beautiful morning, though birthdays are always disappopinting somehow, and never fail to let me down with a feeling of 'nothingness' if that makes any sense at all. Rush home from the YP and June rings me. The silly female absolutely refuses to come to my party tonight, and no pleading on my part can possibly make her change her mind. I don't particularly feel upset by her refusal, and it is all I expected. Lorraine, her chaperone, rings me twice and says that June must be insane, and that she's been undecided all day about whether to come or not, June I mean. MM, Marita, Denny and David arrive at about 8.30 and they drag me off to the Fox and Hounds, Menston. By about 10.30 I'm totally gone - intoxicated I mean, and we're all back at Pine Tops living it up. I ecventually have ________with Denny and Christine White. Well, it is my birthday! Little Helen Willis arrives at about midnight, and by 2am Chris, Helen and me are the only people left - MM and crowd disappeared early on - after devouring an Easter egg which George's girlfriend had bought John. Pigs they are! -==-