Thursday April 12, 1979

_. Escaped from the YP at 3:30 and in Guiseley I obtained a lift home from Papa, who came to meet me.

John, Maria and JPH are home for Easter. Maria had a 'scan' yesterday ~ whatever that might mean, and the doctors say she is not expecting a multiple birth. Her due date is August 2.

Watched 'The Song of Bernadette' ~ an ancient religious epic, and then devoured a hot curry. Decided to go out with John tonight, but Maria and Sue said they wanted to come too, so that's that. Chippy will have a seizure if a woman appears in the Shoulder on the boys night out.

Out at 8:30 to the Shoulder with John, Maria, Sue and Janet Simon. Pete N is in with Chippy, Neil and Dave W, but they left minutes later ~ Pete being incredibly childish. Refusing to socialise simply because it is Thursday.

We had fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's because Maria has a fixation. She told me that the baby, if a boy, may be Charles.

-=-

Friday January 5, 1979

Carol J is away from the YP with 'chest problems' It's a big enough chest. Sarah wore a fur hat all day at her typewriter saying it was because her hair is so filthy and she cannot subject me to the sight of it.

Two lords died today and both peerages became extinct. Viscount Harcourt died without an heir, and so too did Earl Beauchamp. How many years will it be before Burke's Peerage can be published in a pocket~sized edition?

Took a half~day and went to buy Mum and Dad a pepper mill for their birthdays. Spent £5. Also, devoured fish & chips from Harry's (Ramsden's) before heading for home in the sun and snow at 3pm.

At 6pm Lynn and Dave B came to carry me off to Burley-in-Wharfedale. We had tomato soup and ate pizza and chips, and drank beer, apricot wine and a quantity of whisky. Dave was pale. He had a headache. He looked at death's door. We watched "What's New Pussycat" on TV. I thought of Judith Rushworth, who loves Peter Sellers. In fact Sellers deserved an Oscar for his performance as Professor Fassbender, the psychiatrist.

Dave had to go to bed at 12, but Lynn and I lasted until 1.30. She does tend to bite his head off.

-=-

Sunday October 22, 1978

23rd after Trinity.

Slept until noon. My God nobody can accuse me of being an idle waster. If I keep going with my marathon walks I can see me making the 1980 Moscow Olympics.

Jacq came over at 12:30 just as I was splashing around in the sink and we went immediately to the Commercial, supposedly for beef sandwiches, but Annie had sold out, so we had to resort to alcohol. At 2 we got on a bus to White Cross and had fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's. Quite divine.

A brisk walk up Thorpe Lane and that was my exercise over and done with for the weekend. I just sat in front of the tv all afternoon with the two ladies. Daddy was out on the streets defending the citizens of our crime~ridden township. Soweto isn't a patch on Guiseley.

Boring 'Lillie Langtry' was on tv again and although I find Francesca Annis quite a little scorcher I am afraid the script and action ~ or lack of it ~leaves a lot to be desired. We are into six episodes and she hasn't even had Bertie, Prince of Wales, in bed yet. Talking of bed, I went to mine at 11 o'clock.

-=-

Sunday September 10, 1978

Moon's first quarter 04:20

16th after Trinity

A day made very amusing my the presence of dear Auntie Eddy. We were all very much hungover at breakfast and Eddy (Jadwega, of course) brightened things up with her wonderful Polish banter. She told Susan that yesterday she had looked 'radiating' in her bridesmaid garb.

Alison was dreadfully pale, and John P said he was close to death. Lynn and Dave arrived at about 11 to say goodbye and Eddy almost had Dave upstairs for a massage but he fought her off successfully. Audrey Baker fell victim here and was taken upstairs for the full works. Eddy advised Henry on his vitamin B intake. John came in to bid them farewell and then off he went back to Maria and JPH and they left for Stranraer.

Richard & Mandy B arrived and took them off to East Midlands Airport and they flew to Ibiza at 3pm. Alison and John P went with them. Lunch with Mum, Dad, Jacq, Bert, Eddy and Reggie. We had fish and chips from Harry Ramsden's, but first we collected all the floral displays from St Paul's church. The old hag of a caretaker went on and on about the mess Delia had made on Friday.

After lunch we fell into the lounge. It's a tremendous anti~climax. Bert, Eddy and Reggie went to Leeds at 5pm for the coach home to Nottingham and we watched TV. Keith Michell playng Henry VIII in the 1972 film.

-=-

Sunday January 8, 1978

1st Sunday after Epiphany. When we arrived home last night Mum and I squabbled about something but this morning all was forgotten in the haze. She can be very irate at times. I'd barely finished breakfast when Ernest came round to use the telephone. This simple, quite small action by our venerable old neighbour sparked off something quite Bacchanalian. Yes, nothing less than an orgy to make the orgies of the Emperor Caligula look like one of Andy Pandy's tea parties. I was ordered to go collect Edith after half an hour and Mum, Dad, Ernest, Edith and I began drinking lager and playing records in the dining room. It endured until 5:30. It was dark when we eventually emerged.  Sue, who had closed herself off in the lounge to concentrate on her knitting, was on the verge of collapse from the noise of the merry making. The funniest part of the day was Ernest attempting to do a Greek dance which involved waving a handkerchief in the air. Edith insisted on flashing her pale, thin thighs and suspender belt. We howled in hysterics for ages afterwards. The four of them have decided to go off for a weekend to some poor, unsuspecting seaside town in about a month's time. It may well be Whitby.

At 6:00 Pete went to Harry Ramsden's and we devoured fish and chips heartily. The dear Blackwells departed afterwards, bless them, and I collapsed in a chair. This riotous living is no good.

Watched a Walter Matthau film on the BBC and retired to bed before 12 with James, Duke of Monmouth. Looking at the large pile of books by my bed I don't envisage getting through them all. James II may have to be dumped, I fear.

-=-

Saturday July 2, 1977

A day in the garden doing bugger all. John called in this afternoon to enquire about my destination this evening. I told him I was supposed to be going out with Carole but not having heard from her I told him this now seemed unlikely. He says, with puzzled expression, that Carole has been playing hell all week because I hadn't phoned and that she would now be going out with John, Maria and Chris R tonight instead. Naturally! I began to feel rather angry with the darling who is the object of my affections.

with Martyn.

John wanted Mum and Dad to babysit for JPH but they're out tonight with Sue, Pete and the Nason's to Flashman's. Lynn and Dave offered to 'sit' instead and David drove down to Silverdale Dr and came back ten minutes later saying Carole was going to babysit instead and that she was playing hell about me. This is the bloody ultimate!

I am not really sure what game Carole is playing but whatever it is I'm not participating.No bloody way.

Tony went to assist John & Jill Cameron move to Beverley and Martyn and I walked down to the Hare. We then went and stood in the car park at the Fox and Hounds where an incident of horrific proportions took place. George and Jane pulled in followed by John and Maria and on seeing us they all drove straight out of the car park and back up the road. Is this Carole Phillips's polluted mind for you? Is she now poisoning John & Maria?

On the bus taking us back to White Cross we encountered a band of drunken youths who indecently exposed themselves to the queue of people at Harry Ramsden's. Amazing. Back home through Tranmere. I uprooted a 'No Tresspassing' sign and I told Martyn just where I intend to insert it. Or perhaps I should say in whom I intend inserting it.

We watched a Dracula film and then a Frankenstein film. Retired to bed at 3am. Martyn slept on a camp bed in my room.

-=-

Friday March 18, 1977

Went to Christine's  at 1pm to view her scars. They're not as bad as I imagined them to be and she is unperturbed about the whole incident.

Paddy Braithwaite gets her to tell the tale of the reaction of the policeman to her 'Starsky & Hutch' roll over a car covered in whipped cream and glace cherries. Hilarious.

CB goes off to prepare to go out and Paddy tells me he is the only person alive with no pituitary gland. It's something at the bottom of your brain and as far as I know it controls every gland.

He drives CB and I to Otley where we go straight to the Black Bull. Met Peter N with his father, Jim. At 2.30 -3pm we went to the Bowling Green for more. Met Rick Rider, Mick Lynch, &c. Left a 4pm feeling slightly intoxicated. Christine was starving and so we went up to Harry Ramsden's for 'one of each'. We then bid each other farewell until 8.

Home for tea with a banging headache and a present for mother (it's Mother's Day on Sunday). Eat and slept until 6.30. Out with Tony and Martyn to the Hare. Joined by an exhausted CB who looks really rough tonight (no offence) and by Chris R and Peter M. We all went to the Rose & Crown (except CB). I drank ginger beer and Coca Cola. Felt dreadfully tired and put this down to the combined effects of last night and this afternoon. By 11.30 I'm at home watching a Yul Brynner film. What will the female contingent be like tomorrow?

-==-

Saturday November 27, 1976

Go for a drive around Otley and Ilkley this afternoon with Sue & Peter. They are a pair, well-matched too, if ever I saw one. Nip into the Hare at 2.45 for a quick drink. Sue has a gin which she says is disgusting at this hour of the day. Pete doesn't half have her on, but she loves having her leg pulled and knows just how to answer. She is a shrewd and very sweet comedienne. Lynn is much too like me for comfort.

At 4 Dave and Glen arrive.It sure is great to see them for the first time in four months. They bring holiday photographs which are tremendous - much better than Peter's. The ones with Pam are exceptional. I take the negatives to get copies of my own. The lads soon settle down with Mum and Dad and Sue. [Lynn and Dave are at Alison's in Winchester]. We take them to Harry Ramsden's for tea. They had never heard of the place. Mum and Dad, Sue & Pete, Margaret & Jim Nason go off for a meal at 7 and us three lads mess about until 8 when we WALK TO THE HARE! Martyn joined us at nine o'clock. We attempted to get a taxi to Oakwood [Hall] at 11 but had no luck & so we went by bus to Ilkley and then got a taxi from there. Dave and Glen can't stop talking about the holiday. Martyn is eager to go back to Ibiza next year and doesn't think Peter & Chris would be adverse to the idea.

Get a bit pissed at Oakwood at meet a nice girl called Paulette who comes and sits with me because a band of marauding Pakistanis are after her. Her big friend amuses me no end. Martyn is with his tarty new friend he met at the Stoney Lea last night. The lads had a good laugh and we all came back to Pine Tops at 2.30 where we ate cheese on toast and sat up for a couple of hours.

-==-

Sunday November 21, 1976

Last after Trinity. Wakened by Mother who brings baby John into my room at 12 o'clock. He slept in her bedroom from 1am until 6.30 this morning and then from 7 until 10. A beautiful, placid and contented child. Breakfast isn't so pleasant though: Lynne is like ice and says few words whilst attacking her sausage, bacon and fried egg. I don't give a damn. It's been a weekend of squabbling and bickering and I can't say that I was particularly thrilled last night. I danced more with Maria than with Lynne, who was dull and so like ________.No doubt it's just an off weekend. She goes at 1pm and at 2 Mum and I take JPH back to John & Maria's where they are just beginning lunch with Lynn & David. They are thrilled to see the little lad after so long a separation. It was the first time J & M had been to a disco since my birthday at Oakwood Hall on April 3!

Home to Pine Tops where Mum, Dad and I watch an old film on the BBC. I keep drifting off to sleep - that is until Mama mentions fish and chips. Within minutes I'm queuing in the November cold at Harry Ramsden's. Later see a David Hemmings/Gayle Hunnicutt film which is quite good and I retire to bed at 11.20 after the thrills and excitement of 'University Challenge' on ITV.

--=--

Friday October 29, 1976

Lynne comes here at 8 o'clock. She's half starved and we go to Harry Ramsden's again to pacify her. Down to the Hare & Hounds with Lynn & David. Martyn arrives and later Tony, Jill [John Cameron's concubine] and Stuart, whom I think fancies Lynne. He can't get over her being such a tall lady. CB comes in with her new blonde friend who works at the Hare several nights each week. The juke box was on the blink and playing records without us having to insert coins, and CB informed on us playing records for free. No sooner had she done this that the whole management converged on our corner and un-plug the record machine. Miserable bastards. I tell CB that her informing on us is pathetic and comes back with some clever remark about people having some sort of responsibility!

Judith was behind the bar. So we had good, speedy service all night. She seems to like Lynne. Nice girl, Judith. Back to Pine Tops. Lynne and I, Sue & Pete watch 'Rosemary's Baby'. It's a film taken from the book of the same name by Ira Levin. Quite good really and not dissimilar to 'The Omen'. She goes at 1am. Not seeing her [Lynne] until Monday evening.

-==-

Tuesday September 7, 1976

Do you realise that Queen Elizabeth the First is celebrating her birthday quietly somewhere today? The old girl is 443 years old. A grand old age, eh?

Lynne comes up for tea. With Susan & Peter we go to 69 Silverdale Drive to see Maria and John and the progress of the house. Papa is up to his eye-balls in emulsion paint and John is doing something technical with a kitchen cabinet. Poor Maria Looks enormous. Even bigger than before. Is this thing inside her a monster? Will Otley hospital be the scene of some ghoulish trauma? Only time will tell.

At 8 o'clock Lynne, Sue, Pete and self go up to the Emmotts!! See dear old Ivy Fitton who remembers me and asks after John. I tell her he will be a father in a couple of days and she cannot believe it. She also mentions June, as she always does, and says that her fiance is called Brooks. The place is like Benton Park's Old Commrades Association annual general meeting. Sheila Woodhead and Carol [who sat 'A' level history with me] are sat quite near but they don't recognise me. It's Lynne's first visit to the place and after an hour or so we move, inevitably, to the Hare & Hounds. Had a spot of trouble persuading Lynne to go to our favourite ale-house, but we all enjoyed it when we finally arrived.

To Harry Ramsden's at 10.30 and we devour them [fish and chips] in Lynne's car. Peter N didn't want his Dad's machine filling with the aroma of rotting fish and fried potatoes.

-==-

Sunday February 15, 1976

Septuagesima. Woke up at 11.30 with a hangover. I must have been pissed last night.____.

I don't like the way Christine treats Carole at times. No love is ever lost between them. One thing that's particularly grating is the way Christine insists on calling Carole "Fanny" in a very cold manner.

Marlene, Frank & the children come round after lunch and they bring John a little engagement gift.

Carole rang at 2pm and we went to see 'The Return of the Pink Panther' at Leeds with Susan and Peter at 5pm. The film is hilariously funny. Peter Sellers' accent is brilliant. We got a bus home - the the White Cross - and the four of us devoured fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's. Carole felt as though one of her headaches was coming on and I deposited her on a bus homeward. I returned home in a descending fog.

Poor Carole is still having parent trouble and it all stems from the business about me being 'tight-fisted'. The Phillipses are funny buggers and I have long harboured the opinion that Lady Phillips is deranged and psycopathic, but it's hardly my place to go into the old hag's faults here in these pages. She is so horrible that she would in fact make a perfect mother-in-law.

Bed at 12 o'clock midnight.

-==-

Friday January 2, 1976

Snow still covering most of the area. I can't help thinking that this Bing Crosby type weather is two weeks too late. Crispy snow is all very well on Christmas Eve, but I can't agree with it coming and hanging around at the beginning of January. Most unpleasant and awkward.

Mum is 41 today and Dad is 42. They don't look a day over 35 and I'm proud to be the owner of such a handsome pair of parents. We all gave them cards. I didn't give them a present because I bought them whisky on New Years Eve. Carole came up at 9pm with a present for them. Lovely and thoughtful of her.

At 9.30 Dad takes us to the Hare where all the others are assembled with the exception of Dave L. We drink gin and orange, and Peter N even had his own bottle of gin with him. At 10.30 Raymond took Carole and I to Harry Ramsden's, where we had fish and chips wrapped and delivered to Pine Tops by Dave B while the two of us went by bus.

We all sat about laughing and joking about the New Years Eve party and the saga of the size of our Christmas tree in comparison with the Macdonald's tree. Dave took Carole home at about 1.30.

Carole is going to town tomorrow and doesn't particularly want me to go with her. She seems hurt when I refuse to beg to go with her. I fancy a lazy day in bed anyway and the thought of trailing around town is OUT.

-==-

Tuesday September 30, 1975

A wet, unpleasant day. The end of September. It has been a lengthy month this, and we can now settle down in front of the TV on these unsettled evenings to watch such thrilling things as the Labour party conference from Blackpool, and all those adverts urging us to buy our Christmas presents early whilst we still have time. The prospects aren't thrilling at all when one thinks about it.

Work was uneventful and nothing is in the headlines at the time being. The usual rubbish about whether the Labour leadership will survive the party conference is all over the front page, but otherwise nothing of interest at all.

Home on the 5.15 (bus) for fish and chips (again). They do say that this greasy creation forms the staple diet of the working classes, and I tend to agree. I also think that they are the staple diet of the middle and upper classes because if you could see some of the people who queue for miles in all weathers outside Harry Ramsden's you'd know what I mean.

That is about all for today other than to mention that the Gadsby pair called upon us at about 8.30. They went out with Mum and Dad, and on arriving back here, we sat until nearly 1am talking about National Service, the energy crisis, politics and all the other useless subjects. Came to bed at 1.30 after compiling a letter to Carole. The first class post is eight and a half pence now! I'll have to try to curb my letter writing activities.

-==-

Saturday September 20, 1975

Wake at about 10.30 feeling a bit grotty. No doubt I am about to undergo the horror of pneumonia or tonsilitis like poor John.

At 1pm I go down to 'George's' and along with Carole the three of us go to Ramsden's for fish and chips, which were a bit sickly really. At 2 we get a bus to Leeds where we pass the afternoon. Three hours later we return home on a 33 bus with a pair of shoes for Carole and not much else really. I buy her a box of chocolates and she smiled so adoringly at me when I did so it makes me want to go on buying her things for ever and ever just to see the expression on her face. An incident on the bus was rather maddening. I had one of my rare cigarettes, and a man wearing a bright yellow hat took offence to my doing so. After a slanging match with us he calmed down a bit and began telling Maria why hate hated other people. We all realised he was stark raving mad.

Carole and I go to the Hare & Hounds where David, CD and Peter M join us. Andy and Linda are with us for half an hour or so, but they leave in order to continue with their sexual experimentations, one would certainly think so by the look on Andy's face. At 9.30 the 5 of us leave for the Edwardian Club in Bradford, which is a terrible looking place. We got out of the car and found ourselves knee deep in litter. Most of the slums in the area look like whore-houses and four of us flatly refused to enter the place. David was thus out-voted and we went to the Pentagon where I discovered that my trousers had split up the back. Home to 'George's' at 2am for cheese on toast.

-==-

Wednesday September 17, 1975

Out again on the town tonight - the sixth night in a row. Carole thinks I'm becoming besotted with her, and I suppose that is why, in her drunken state, she rambled on about love and marriage._____________. I quake in my boots at the thought of marching down the aisle with her. Hell, I'm only twenty years old!

Not wishing to cause any relious strife amongst my readers I'd just like to say that Miss Phillips is a member of the Roman Catholic faith. I am not complaining of course, but me being a terrible mixture of C of E, Methodist, Congregationalist and Hindhu does confuse matters. I may even have to renounce all these for the papist dogma, if I do heed the advice of Miss Phillips, and take her down the aisle, and replace Her Majesty the Queen with His Holiness the Pope in my affections. However, I hope that day never dawns when this last, grotesque transfer of loyalty takes place.

Down to the Hare and Hounds again, and we don't really say much to each other.____________. I laugh at her, and it begins to rain as we walk to Harry Ramsden's for fish and chips. Home at 12.30 feeling decidedly damp.


-==-

Wednesday August 6, 1975

Incredibly warm day. Meet the gang in the Hare. We all sit outside, and we, that is John and I, say goodbye to everyone until the end of the month. Christine B is in tremendous spirits, and I'm quite sure now she regrets not going out with me when I asked her.

Miss Akroyd and 'Mr WH Smith' join us. The second time since Saturday!_______.

Home on the 33 bus with the two Christines. I fell and grazed my hand giving CB a piggy back, but this is soon forgotten when CD robbed the sum of 94p from the West Yorkshire Bus Co, and we both dashed to Harry Ramsden's for fish and chips.

-==-

Saturday July 5, 1975

I cannot really understand where my hangover is this morning. After all I drank last night it's a miracle that I'm not permanently damaged from the stomach upwards. My liver loo, cannot have enjoyed the bashing it received. After all, what's my liver done to me to deserve that. Poor Sod.

However, though I have no hangover, I do feel really tired and shagged out. The tennis men's singles final was on the TV this afternoon and I nearly fell into a coma watching Arthur Ashe beat the hell out of Jimmy Connors.

At 5pm I disappeared to my room and slept upon my bed until 6.30. I awoke feeling a good deal better, and refreshed.

Joh staggered me this evening when he said he was going to Maria's - sorry, I mean 'George's' - for the evening and not going out for one single drink at all!! This is incredible.

Chris rang and I said I'd see him at the Hare at 8.30. After seeing Barbara Stanwyck in 'The Titanic', I was surprised to see Chris calling for me in his Dad's car.

We went down to the Hare, where we were joined by Mr Mather, and we thought we were in for a boys' night out. However, Helen and Carol are in and they join us. Gillian takes a few photographs of us lads in the car park, and I can't quite get over just how crude that girl can be at times. The five of us move on to the Black Bull in Otley for a few, and come back to the Hare at 10.30 for a last look at the place before closing. Carol, Chris and I go on to Harry Ramsden's for fish and chips, and I'm home for 11.30. Spend the next hour or two watching a weird Julie Christie film on the BBC with Mama.

-==-

Sunday February 9, 1975

Quinquagesima. Up at a decent time. Can't quite remember the exact hour, but it was well before lunch. See in the Sunday Express that the Queen has sprained her shoulder while chopping wood, and received treatment for it at a London hair salon. I realise that the Royal Family are in a poor state at the moment, what with scrapping those plans for rebuilding Sandringham. She's seen in the same hat and coat on different occasions over a five or six year period, but never did I imagine that the day would dawn when Her Majesty would be compelled for financial reasons to do her own wood-chopping. Mum says that she thought Auntie Hilda was the only woman alive adept at chopping wood, but evidently all the top people do it now.

Out with John, Andy, Mr Mather and Chris, who is really miserable. Oh, musn't forget Carol S and Miss Dibb too. No CB. Move on to the Station in Yeadon after the Hare & Hounds. John and I go on to Harry Ramsden's for the things people normally go to Harry Ramsden's for, and after devouring them in the car we return home. Too hot to sleep and lay awake for hours thinking of all things under the Sun. Hell, I've missed out the most important thing.

At 11 o'clock tonight John's unnamed girlfriend (Naomi Downing)  paid him a visit! She sat in a drunken heap in the lounge & he promised to go out with her tomorrow - me being the chaperone of course.

-==-

Saturday November 23, 1974

Working till 12. Home quite ravenous for food of any description. Haw stew, but without the dumplings though, which is a let-down. Dave Lawson rings at about 6 and says he'll go to the Hare at the usual time so that we can make preparations for next weeks booze-up in Worcester. He comes down with his National Union of Students cheap railway pass, and we discuss tactics about how we can fiddle it, enabling me to travel cheaply. Satisfactory result to plan is achieved. Some blithering idiot suggests we should go to the dance at Yeadon Town Hall. Like fools we all go! After paying 50p each we all decide that the oldest person on the dance floor is a backward 11-year-old, and a certain party, namely Keith, storms out after the man on the door refuses to give him his money back. David and I keep telling everyone 'we told you so' with ridiculous grins spread over our faces, and eventually we all leave. Lynn, Dave, David L and I and Chris and Carol go to the Albert in the High Street where we attempt to drown our sorrows. Running out of the pub we bump into dear Christine & Philip, who is limping with a broken foot. She yells something about the Christmas dance, and David and I disappear into the fog.

In the chaos we lose the others, and in our search for them we go back to the Hare & Hounds for the last drink - where David gets a nice ash tray. Then on to Harry Ramsden's and then home where the four of us sit pulling a film to pieces.

-==-