Saturday May 31, 1975

John and I go into Otley in afternoon for a lark around, but with the main intention of finding a decent tool shop for my younger brother and eventual heir. I say heir because the title will of course go to him and his children after I'm gone, because unless CB marries me, I will not produce any offspring. Christine Braithwaite is the only person whom I'd consider making my duchess.

Home at 5.30 to find Mum and Dad looking sun-tanned after a week in Scotland laden with relics and souvenirs of Balmoral and Inveraray. They tell us the tale and explain how they managed to motor 1300 miles in seven days. Glad to see them home safely.

To the Fleece with Dave, Lynn and John. I tore a hole in my trousers climbing into Mr Baker's sports car, but otherwise received no other injuries, well other than verbal ones that is. At the off-licence in Guiseley we were asked our age! Twenty years old, and people still think I'm 15.

All the mob gather in the Fleece and we move on to Laura's at 9.30. A drunken evening follows. Laura's parents are nice folk. Much nicer than I ever imagined. Her eighty-six year-old granny was a right case too. Chris, Pete M, John, Raymond and his mate, and me walked back down Town Street at 2am and we left chaos and devastation in our path. John fell off the causeway and sprained his ankle, and was then bitten by Dandy, the Ratcliffe hound, on our arrival at 21, Victoria Drive. Poor Pete had never been drunk before. And WAS he drunk!

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Wednesday June 19, 1974

Today marks twenty years of happy marriage for Mum and Dad. She receives a large bouquet of flowers from Dad, and I think they are both happier now than they have been in years.

Go to the Emmotts at about 8. Joined by Chris, Andy and Laura, who is much improved since she's been having regular sex again with Martin. Ring Judy and she says she'll come up. I wait until 10 and stand at the bar drinking on my own, because John and the gang had moved on. The girls, Judy and Jackie, come at 10.15 - and I feel as though I shouldn't have bothered asking them to come. Feel quite fresh, and they think that my drinking so much is shocking. Home in a TR6 after fish and chips - and bed immediately. Not with the girls, but quite alone.

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Friday May 31, 1974

Very hot day. Go to the YP and discover that I am working tomorrow morning and therefore decide to take a half-day today. Quite pleased at being able to escape from the dismal office, and I drift into Leeds where I purchase a new pair of shoes from Ravel, with my new Barclaycard of course. They cost me £9.99. I piled onto a 55 bus, reading the latest edition of 'Private Eye' which features the recently ennobled Mrs Marcia Williams, or Lady Falkender, or whatever she calls herself. Home after 2. Sit with Mama and Papa on the rear lawn with a cup of tea. Take a bath at 4 and get ready for the Chris and Laura celebrations. John and I get the 6.30 bus to the Emmotts and I begin with a double whisky, one pernod and orange, and a Drambuie. George and Jane and many more come at 7.30 and we leave at 8 coming back in the coach ten minutes later to pick up 5 silly females whom we had left behind in the toilets. Darling Denise is completely enraptured by my braces and we feel slightly fresh when Keith passes a bottle of sweet Martini around the coach. Arrive at Kiko's just after 9. Wonderful place, but the enjoyment is marred by my inability to get drunk, but I certainly tried my best to do so. The place is very Polynesian with plastic palms adorning the walls and floors. See Joe and Anne Grunwell, who cannot believe that I am 19. Get back to the coach at 2. Home at 3. Chris was sick on the floor, and I laughed because he threatened us all before-hand about being ill on his precious and expensive bus.

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Monday May 27, 1974

Bank Holiday in England, Northern Ireland & Wales. Poor Lady Jane Wellsesley is not going to be the next Queen Consort of England after all. In yesterday's papers the Prince of Wales is reported to have made comments about his so-called relationship with her Ladyship and he said he had never had any romantic interlude with her, adding something about all the publicity being: "awful." Getting Britain's heir to the altar is going to be more difficult than I imagined.

Back to the YP. Leeds looked dead, almost as if a nuclear war is about to take place. Felt sick seeing people standing about with suitcases waiting to be rushed away to holiday retreats - not that I wish to go anywhere in particular, but anything is better than sitting in the office all day. Just Sarah and Carol in - Anne is off and Kathleen is still on holiday & I don't care where the hell Janice is. Feel sick with work and get headache with the heat.

Home at 6. Ring poor Denny who says she finished with her latest love on Saturday_____. Judith rings and says she'll come to the Hare and Hounds for a late drink, but I don't really know whether she will or not. Chris says he'll also be at the Hare. John and I go at 8.15. Sit near the juke box with George and Jane having a tremendous time. Chris and Laura eventually join us, Laura being very charming for a change. Keith and Christine sit in another part of the pub. Judy and her friend Jackie come in at 11.30 and we stay at the Hare until 12.15. Back to Pine Tops for coffee and whatever else you, dear reader, thinks should have happened.

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Sunday May 26, 1974

Sunday after Ascension. A very hot day. Lynn, Mum and Susan sit on the back lawn with Christine Dibb and John and I prepare to be carried off to Apperley Lane by the young 'get up and go' girls. They collect us the Alfa Romeo at 2.30 - Mum and Sue couldn't resist coming onto the drive for a quick nosy. We sit watching tv - a horrible film - then listen to records. Judith and I take Louis for a walk and I get covered in filthy horse-flies in the woods at Esholt. Having had no lunch you can imagine the starvation which I was subject to, and this prompted me to make a suggestion about fish and chips. Judith and I went to the nearest fish and chip shop in the Alfa Romeo and we came back laden with that greasy delicacy which has sustained the working classes for about two and a half centuries. Those females are certainly a pair of poor liars. They must imagine that John and I are demented or something. However, we are going to play them at their own game - should be rather fun. They bring us home at 7 and refuse to join us this evening for Andy's birthday celebrations. Meet at the Yorkshire Rose again. Andy is 18 today and he must have been drinking for three or four years now. The law breaking swine. On the whole it was rather a hysterical night out - we did all the pubs in Otley and surrounding areas, coming back to Wikis to find it closed. Carol S and Bruno make a good couple, much to the heartbreak of Chris, who fancies Carol far too much. All back to Keith Brown's. Horrrible. Laura made the coffee which was quite nice. Bed at 2. -==-

Friday May 17, 1974

Woken up by Dad at 1.15pm! Mum comes home expecting to find the lunch prepared but is sadly disappointed by the sight she receives. Dad is working at 2, so you can imagine the hurry he was in. A boring afternoon and go to the YP as usual. Hear on tv whilst in the office that 30 or so people have been blown to bits in Dublin. Kathleen worked until 10 - and I'm sick of writing about work.

Taxi at 12 to Wikis. Groping about in the subdued lighting I stumble upon Chris and John at a table and then saw Peter Mather, who bought me a drink, Andy and of course Linda, Christine W and Laura. To my surprise I see dear Denny, and we, that is Chris and I, have fun playing with the large zip on Denny's suede jacket. On my way to the bar I bump into Judith, of Apperley Lane fame that is, and we drift into a corner with a couple of glasses and laugh at Philip C and Paul, who come over to try and 'break us up'. At 1.30 she takes me back to her place where I drink coffee and play with a little dog. But no 'goings on' if you know what I mean. Lift home at 3 and she doesn't even let me kiss her goodnight, but we exchange telephone numbers and she says she'll ring me next week. Bed at 3.10.

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Wednesday May 8, 1974

Nothing at the YP. At 8 John and I go to the Emmotts where we sit with Laura, who is unusually cheerful and she manages to speak to both John and myself. Keith comes at 8.30, and we talk about films until Chris finally decides to walk in at about 9 o'clock.

Philip Cartwright comes up and says the bird with the Alpha Romeo, Judith or something, really fancies me and wants to see me in the Queen's tonight. John, Laura, Keith and Chris all leave at 9.30 and Philip and I go to the Queen's, where the two girls are assembled. We spend about an hour, the four of us, and at closing time they sod off with a couple of blokes leaving Philip and myself looking like a pair of silly buggers. I hate bloody stupid women, and especially women who make decent chaps look like idiots. We both shoot off and Philip drives like Hell let loose. Home at 11. Poor Philip apologises for wasting my evening. Judith, one of the tarts, rings me at about 11.15, but I act very cool. Wounded pride and all that. Must ring Philip tomorrow to see what further developments have occurred. John comes in not long after me and says he's been at the Hare and Hounds. Bed at 11.30. Interesting evening. Women make me sick.

-==-

Wednesday May 1, 1974

May is here again. Not feeling too happy at the moment and I feel as though my love life is lacking. However, I haven't as yet broken my resolution not to write to June, though I would still marry her at the first chance, even tomorrow, if she'd let me.

Work all day. Home at 6 to find John on the phone talking to Chris who passed his driving test this afternoon! Everyone is thrilled. John and I go to the Emmotts at 8 and are joined by Andy, Christine W and the delightful Carol Smith. Keith and Laura come later and John and I go with them to the Commercial whilst the others go with Andy. We expected to see Mum and Dad in Esholt, but they didn't turn up. At 10.30 John and I walked home, arriving at 11. Very enjoyable evening - the Commercial is weird, but quaint.

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Tuesday April 23, 1974

St George's Day. Very late for the train and nearly miss it. See Philip Knowles who is going to tech with a friend. See in the EP that the Queen gave the Garter to Lord Abergavenny, a close friend, and Lords Shackleton and Trevelyan, who are both life peers. The Most Noble Order of the Garter, the highest English honour, is restricted to about 26 members, that is not counting the Princes of the Blood and Foreign Heads of State, and the Queen seems to be widening its membership. Three years ago it was given to Lord Rhodes of Saddleworth, a one-time miner! Still no word from Barclaycard. Driving lesson at 6.30 which is better than last week but still rather hopeless. Ring Chris at 8 and ask him to come to Margaret Grandison's market research thing on Thursday, not forgetting to tell him that £1 will be his for the asking. He agrees. He went to the Emmotts with Laura on Sunday and then went to the Hare and Hounds. 'June was in the Emmotts on Sunday', he said with great excitement, but I say 'Oh really?' with a slight false yawn. See 'Napoleon and Love' on ITV. Hopelessly wrong, and poor Mrs Lane would die if she watched it. Little Nappy may have had nis moments but he was cerrtainly no Casanova. Bed 12. -==-

Wednesday April 10, 1974

Completely lazy day. Finish 'Elizabeth of Glamis' by Duff. The Queen Mother is really a fantastic person and I am sure that it is she who saved the nation from Republicanism in 1936 when Edward VIII packed up. George VI would never have lasted on his own. Indeed, many authorities (not just Duff) say Elizabeth saved George VI from utter and complete madness because when they married in 1923, the then Duke of York was on his way to retiring completely within himself.

In my opinion, the Duke of Edinburgh also receives far too much credit for pulling the Royal Family out of the 19th century. Little Queen Elizabeth was doing a brilliant job before Prince Philip ever got his hands on Lilibet.

Sit about at home all day. Go to the Emmotts at 8.20 after having had a pint in the (Yorkshire) Rose. Keith and Christine White leave almost immediately - and Chris, Laura, Elaine, John and I remain. Terribly boring evening. At 10.15 we go to the fish and chip shop across the road. Everyone in complete misery - Chris feels left out by Andy, who is entranced by Linda. It looks as though we are going to have an unpleasant Easter - no doubt I'll die of sheer boredom. No word from June - hardly surprising really.

-==-

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Sunday April 7, 1974

Palm Sunday. Out of bed at 1.30!! Well, hardly any point about feeling guilty about it. After all, I am on holiday. Cook some marvellous steak for lunch, then sit in front of the tv watching a James Cagney film all afternoon. Looking forward with rellish to my liaison with June this evening - our first date since August.

Leave Pine Tops at 7.20 but don't arrive at the Emmotts until 8.20 - quite forgetting that the 55 bus only runs once every hour on the Sabbath. See Chris, who is in conference with Ivy - but no June. Chris and I stand at the bar until 9, then he suggests that we move on. Strangely enough, I feel nothing about being jilted for the first time. I have always imagined that being 'stood up' was an extremely painful experience. We get the bus to the Hare and Hounds where Andy, Linda, Christine and Keith entertain Laura and Martin. They say very little, and it certainly lets you know just who your friends are. Everyone wants to know you when you're having a party, but after that you're nothing.

Christine suggests we go to the Malt Shovel - I go with Keith, who, I must admit, is always civil. Andy brings me home at 10.30, and I see Mama and Dad, Lynn and Sue for the first time since Friday. They all had an excellent time, though no one saw the Queen or anyone whilst in Windsor. Quite disappointing.


"Seasons in the Sun" Ugh

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Friday March 29, 1974

Busy day at the YP. Austin-Clarke is still unapproachable and Kathleen cannot see him about my pay, if that is what one can call the mere pitance which I receive at weekly intervals.

Quite a pleasant evening. We all, that is to say John, Andy, Chris and I meet in the Emmotts and then move on to the Royalty on the Chevin, a horrid little pub. From there we move to the Hare and Hounds and then the Fox and Hounds, where we see Laura (strangely disguised with a weird hairstyle) in the company of her university gentleman friend. They all join in the motorcade which winds itself to Pine Tops, where John and I are deposited on the pavement. Inside Mum and Dad watch a programme on privilege, featuring the Duke and Duchess of Bedford. A bleedin' socialist sits making snide remarks about wealth and on being asked his income, it was noted with great amusement, that he earns nearly £10,000 per annum.

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Friday March 22, 1974

Quite a busy day but uneventful. To the Emmotts at 8. Chris, Andy, John, Keith, Paul, Laura with Martin (one of her latest conquests). At about 9 we all go to the Hare and Hounds at Menston and then Andy takes John, Chris and I in his VW to Wikis, where John becomes a fully paid up member. A good time is had by all and we go home at 2 or thereabouts.

Receive a letter from David in Worcester. I tell him, when I reply, that something will be going on at Pine Tops on April 5, my 19th birthday. And by odd coincidence I saw Sandra Lawson in Wikis, with someone other than her husband, and we exchange the usual niceities. John was unusually abrupt this evening and behaved quite hatefully towards the end. We had a good go at each other when we arrived home. Bed 3 -ish.

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Friday February 22, 1974

Our usual Friday excursion to the Emmotts. Accompanied by Denny, who looks a little thinner since we last met. Her recent holiday to Spain leaves her looking fit and well. Andy, Christine W, Keith and Laura all join us - very late as usual, and at 9.30 they get the idea of going on to a different pub. Even Chris says he wants to move to to a nicer place. John, Denny and me refuse to go with them, and Chris departs leaving me with the news that Linda S is having a social gathering at Ilkley tomorrow - stating quite clearly that it is not a 'party'. However, we see Andy and Christine later, and they say no such event is taking place! They are the ones upon which I rely on for news about Linda. Anyway, John, Denny and I sit in the company of Martin V-B until 10.45 - consuming a concoction of vodka and dry Martini - at a tremendous risk to the stability of my financial holdings. Denny and I who had previously decided to meet in Leeds tomorrow bid our sweet farewells, then proceed to consume a quantity of fish and chips before leaving on the 11.10 55 bus. (Sorry about the poor sentence construction.)

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Friday February 15, 1974

We went to the Emmotts as usual. Andy seems strangely subdued these past few days - cannot be financial worries because only Chris finds money a permanent terror and pain. MM and Marita call in. I am the only one out of the gang to go over and speak to them. _____.See Kevin Taylor who comes in at 9.30 but doesn't speak.

I am becoming worried for poor Ivy who I have neither seen or heard from since mid-January. What can have possibly come of the poor old soul? She can't have died can she?

John and I get the 11.15 55 from the Emmotts and are home 30 minutes later. Not a very enjoyable evening and the only entertainment I had was seeing Helen. That girl is the most loveable thing I have ever seen (well, almost anyway) and Keith Brown does not seem to realise that unless he treats her with more respect he may not have her much longer. Helen and I share a common bond in our hatred of ________, who is fortunately detained in Nottingham this week. Chris needs his head examining for allowing himself to 'fall for' that horrid little Scots bitch.

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Saturday February 9, 1974

Mum woke me at 7am after only 4 hours sleep. Completely dead. Feel as though I've died in the night and the angels have forgotten to come and fetch me. Still, it was well worth it, and I arrived home at 2.30 this morning after a ten minute car ride over the moors with Ray.

Stagger down the lane at 8 after waking Sue. Get the train as usual. Carol, Kathleen, Sarah and me are the only bods working this morning - and strangely enough Carol is very nice with me. It appears to me that Janice and Carol must have had a conference to decide upon a policy of 'Let's be nice to Michael for a change'. It certainly does make a change anyway.

At 12.15 I walk into Leeds with Kathleen and Carol - arrive too late to catch my train, which is pulling out of the station as I arrive. My arrival home is therefore delayed until nearly 2 o'clock. Have chicken for lunch.

At about 8 John and I go to the Emmotts, but I feel too tired to drink more than a pint. Hear from Chris that Andy was awfully sick this morning. Laura, Pete, John and Chris decide to go to a better pub, and I say I'm going home. They all look shocked. At 9.30 Pete goes down for Andy, and we change places, as Andy arrives, I go. Home for 10 o'clock. Mum and Dad are out at Esholt, and Sue is babysitting. I sit with Lynn and Christine Dibb in front of the tv which was working all the way through until 1am!! See a horrific film - 'The Norliss Tapes', which even scared me! Films rarely drive me to the paroxysms of fear, but this one did. Bed at 1.

-==-

Friday February 8, 1974

Quite a satisfactory day with very little hinderance from the girls. Frankly, Janice was being most civil with me for a change. Kathleen seemed a little bogged down with work, but I suppose the head of a department does tend to take on more responsibilities.

Have a funny afternoon. Laugh ourselves silly when we hear that the miners are still going on strike although they have no Government to argue with. The General Election isn't going to have the effect which Mr Heath thought would come about. Undoubtedly, the country falls into a worse state every day. Everyone in the Emmotts tonight agreed that the Conservatives should be re-elected, but most thought that Uncle Ted should go.

John and I get the 7.30 55 - meeting Andy on the way. Dear Christine White joins us - followed by Laura (ugh) and Paul. Chris doesn't come until after 9 o'clock. The Emmotts is packed by 9.30 and when MM and Marita come we are packed in like sardines. Helen and Keith pile in and I give her my stool, spending the remaining 45 minutes crouched on the floor near Chris and Ray. _____MM and Marita leave us and we decide where to go for the remainder of the evening. Keith mentions the 'Speak Easy' again, which was suggested last Saturday. We decide therefore to go to the 'Speak Easy' at Keighley. John and Andy go with Keith in his car. Helen and Christine go with Ray, and me and Chris go with Laura and Paul. All the way over the moors, arriving at the place at about 11. I always thought Denny was a good dancer, but Helen is also gifted here. If she wasn't going out with Keith I could quite fancy her.

The 'Speak Easy' is a brilliant spot - inexpensive and quite classy with it as well. Much better than the so-called 'Cat's Whiskers', which may as well have been named 'The Dead Bears Bum' for all I care. Dance through until 2. But John and I are mad about the drink arrangements. Everyone seemed to be buying drinks for each other and leaving dear brother and me out. Bugger them. The past months have shown that John is the only real friend I've got - the others tend to 'take the piss' out of me.

-==-

Friday February 1, 1974

Quite an eventful day. YP very much the same, but the evening was riddled with exciting incidents which usually occur within months of each other.

At 7.30 John and I leave for the Queen's where we are joined by Chris, Andy, Laura (with her new car), Linda and Christine W. Keith Brown and the delightful Helen call in at 10. MM and Marita drop in. At 10.0 we decide to go to the Black Bull at Otley. Chris, Christine and I go with Laura, and the rest go with Keith. At the Black Bull Helen decides to adopt John and myself - great fun calling her 'sis' all evening. At 11.15 I make a silly suggestion that we should all go back to our house - thinking no one would take any notice of me. However, when Laura dropped me off at Pine Tops, I am surprised to find Linda, Andy, Keith and Helen listening to the record player in our dining room. On top of that, Chris rings 10 minutes later to say he had lost his wallet, with everything in it, including £12 and a Barclaycard. His Dad was taking him back to Otley to look for it. I doubt whether they will ever find it again. The guests leave at 12.45. We go immediately to bed.

--==--

Friday January 25, 1974

Miss Kathleen Rainford today succeeded as head librarian, Yorkshire Post Newspapers Ltd. Very busy. Anne and I spent the afternoon making photostats of the Leeds Intelligencier from June/July 1815 - 'The capture of Buonoparte', and praises of the Duke of Wellington.

Miss W (as you can see) appeared in the paper this morning - and the photograph stands as a comparison with the usual attempts of the YP photographers - hopeless. Poor Miss W -though I say it myself - looks much more pleasant than this. The poor girl didn't really want to leave.

Whilst travelling home on the train with Judith I see in the stop press that James Pope-Hennessy, the renowned author and biographer, was murdered today in his London home. The thing I remember him for is the official biography of Queen Mary, completed in 1958. The poor man died of stab wounds in hospital.

Chris rings at 7.30 and we decide to go to the Queen's in Apperley Lane. John and I are on our own until Andy, Chris, Laura and Martin (her new boyfriend) arrive at 9. We all sit in the little room with the large picture of Her Majesty over the fireplace. I think it's one of Leonard Boden's creations, and it stands as a reminder that the poor Queen is ageing along with the rest of us. What a beauty she was 20 years ago.

After 3 pints in the Queen's Martin drives us to the Emmotts. He then takes Laura to Horsforth. Give Sue Crosby a birthday kiss - can hardly believe that we have endured a year since her 18th birthday. I remember her last birthday as though it was yesterday. John and me get the 11.10 55 bus. Home at 11.40. Dad gives us a demonstration with the new kettle, and I retire at 12.30.

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Saturday December 29, 1973

Get up at 6.30 shower and dress and leave for the YP at 8. Every national newspaper has Lady Jane Wellesley on the front page. She's staying with the Prince of Wales for the New Year at Sandringham. The Telegraph predicts a New Year engagement, which I think is absolutely ridiculous. Both Miss W and Janice are off - we spend a quiet morning. Only the second Saturday on which I have worked for the YP. Finish all my my work at 12.10 and bid farewell to Kathleen and Sarah. Go down Wellington Street to the Railway station buying a 'Private Eye' on the way. Home by 1.0. Do absolutely nothing all afternoon and see 'Dr Who' again - the greatest series on tv. See 'The Generation Game'. Bruce Forsyth married Anthea Redfearn in Windsor on Christmas Eve. He's a fantastic wit - when he and Frankie Howerd get together it's totally hilarious. Chris rings at 7 and asks us, meaning John, Denny and myself, to go to the Fleece. We carry out his orders. We find Andy propping up the bar where he's been since 7.30! He isn't pissed either. Denny's been supping since 8 o'clock. Chris, Pete, Laura and Maggie come ages after and I am feeling very uncomfortable in the heat of the bar. At 10 we set off for Chris's house. David and MM are outside the Fleece, and Denny (who is sick of Laura) drags me into the back of MM's Datsun and we go to the Ratcliffe residence. Plenty of drink - and Tamla - as usual. I remain quite sober but we all have a good time until about 5am. Andy, John and me crush into Chris's bedroom, where I fall immediately to sleep until the following afternoon - fully clothed too. -==-