Monday September 26, 1977

Work was quite lazy. We made a birthday card for Michael Robertshaw, whose birthday it is today - his 21st. Eileen has been quite a misery since returning from honeymoon and today she smiled once or twice but is still quite off -hand with me. The reason for this I fail to understand but it must have something to do with Christine Byram's party. I have no intention of worrying about it anyway.

A Woody Allen film on the BBC tonight.'Play it Again, Sam'. Thoroughly hilarious. That actor is one of the funniest men alive I'm sure.

Mr Fishmonger's book.

Roddy Llewellyn.

Edith Blackwell has lent us a copy of 'Margaret: Princess without a cause' by Willie Fishsomethingorother. I fully intended purchasing it but after glancing over it I am so glad I haven't wasted the £5.50. It is just like the Helen Cathcart biography with a bit of extra spice gathered from the cheap Sunday newspapers and gossip from the European and American journals. Coincidentally the papers today have stories about Margaret in them. According to one, Roderic Victor Llewellyn (born October 9, 1947, son of Sir Harry Llewellyn, KB, and grandson of Sir David Llewellyn, 1st Baronet) is being groomed as a courtier with the intention of marrying him to Princess Margaret after her divorce next year. From his pedigree it's easy to see he is not the sort of low 'drop out' he's been made out to be. He is at least in Burke's  Peerage. Grandson on the paternal side of a baronet and on the maternal side of the 5th Baron de Saumarez. The young man no longer wears an ear ring and the t-shirt embossed with 'Roddy for PM' on the front has been replaced by pin striped suits and sober ties. It certainly seems he is being prepared for the trappings of royalty.

I retired to bed with Willie Fishmonger's boring, bitty book. I could do a better job and certainly get more of the facts right. Mr Fish 'n Chips in merely a profiteer, a sensationalist, a scoundrel. In fact I'm in two minds whether or not to go on reading it. 'Decline and Fall' by Mr Waugh is far more entertaining and certainly more of a bedtime book. Who knows what nightmares I'd be subjected to if I were to drift off to sleep after reading of the sexual exploits of Princess Margaret, which I am sure are based on nothing more than the idle chatter of ignorant people.

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Sunday September 11, 1977

14th after Trinity. Tony, Martyn, Georgina and Jenny came here at about 5 o'clock straight from Nostell Priory where they'd spent the afternoon. Martyn was stoned out of his mind and looked ghastly. They said how he'd just about been thrown out of the priory after collapsing over a china cabinet packed with object d'art.

Hanging Heaton.

We went first to Ilkley and then to Hanging Heaton and Christine Byram's party. We met Christine (Byram) at the Fox and Hounds first and we all got slightly boozed up. Jenny and Georgina are good girls. The elder one is 28, I think, but doesn't look it at all.

The party was going well but things were marred when Eileen and Michael burst in like members of the National Front. Eileen screamed at a quaking Christine, telling her to 'piss off' and Michael bashed a spotty sixth former who happened to say something out of place. A bad show it was. I made some attempt at appeasement, but like the late Neville Chamberlain, I had no success whatsoever.

Christine had a good weep but by 1am things were more or less back to normal. I became most intoxicated and remember grovelling on the floor with either Georgina or Jenny. My God she knows how to kiss. At one point I thought I might be sucked in altogether. Please remind me to ask Tony which just which girl it was being so nice to me. Another young lady gave me a gin cocktail which probably had a dash of every other spirit in it and that was the last thing I can recall. It is said I made a staggering entry into Pine Tops at something in the region of 4am. Mama was awakened by my pissed staggerings but no blows were exchanged. Oh my head.

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Saturday September 3, 1977

Eileen and Michael's wedding day. David B and I went to see Sarah & Delia at 12 and we took photos of the dogs on the Collis's spacious lawn. From here we went to the Queen's Arms just for one solitary drink. I haven't been in the Queen's for a couple of years, in fact since the pub crawl with Sarah and Carol J when I proposed marriage, amongst other things, to Miss Collis.

Left David at about 1pm and went to the YP to collect Kathleen. Together we went to Mirfield and the Dusty Miller pub for a few more. We arrived at the church at 2 o'clock just as Eileen arrived on the arm of her father. By 2.30 they were married. At the reception I was on a table with Delia, Sarah, Kathleen and Steve (the lad from the stag party). Eileen looked very happy.

Delia brought me home at 5.30 and tonight Dave B and I went to the Malt Shovel at Baildon. Joined by Tony and Martyn and at 11.30 we collected Naomi and went to a barbecue at Carlton. John and Maria were there. On to Il Trovatore where Naomi and I danced with a string of tinsel. When she brought me home at 2.30 we put up the Christmas decorations.

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Friday September 2, 1977

Woke up this morning to find myself sharing Michael's double bed. He turned to me, touchingly I thought, and informed me that I am the last person he will have slept with before his marriage. I thanked him for the honour and wished him all the luck with Eileen, and hope he will be as happy with her as he has been with me. Taking a second look at me he sighed said that perhaps he was being rather hasty.

Got a bus with Eileen and her sister, Christine and arrived at the YP at 9.30. Work was ghastly. I took two large pills to try and persuade my head not to unscrew itself, but remained quite lifeless until lunchtime.

Harrogate Arms.

Met Naomi, Carolle Jones and Graham Peel in the Wellesley. A couple of drinks brought me round fabulously and the afternoon was a painless one.

Dave B took me to the Harrogate Arms tonight. Sue, Pete N, Martyn, Tony, Mrs Cole, Mrs Townsend, &c. Then Naomi came in with Graham P, followed by Pete M, Steve Hudson, Denise, Carole P, and Fogarty. Chatted with Carole, quite amicably, as to why Dave B was without Lynn. (She's gone to a RAF dispay at Cranwell with David Greenwood). Beryl Greenwood phoned tonight.

A good night at Harrogate nicely finished off with a prawn curry in Guiseley. Dave B was on top form.

-=-

Thursday September 1, 1977

Michael Robertshaw's stag part. Martyn is 19 today. They picked me up on the lane at 7.40am and he thanked me for the silly birthday card.

Martyn: 19th birthday.

Tonight: Eileen took me to Michael's house at Mirfield where I stayed to tea. His grandmother, widow of a miner, told me she's 86 and a native of Hull.

Out at 7.30pm with about eight of his friends and the orgy of drunkenness spread to Huddersfield and the Amsterdam Bar, which was riotous. Full of transvestites and other bawdy, dangerous types. From here we staggered to a discotheque where everything is a blurred mass. Remember smoking and throwing up in a sub-way. we seemed to have lost more than half the lads in the disco and only Mick, Stephen, Dave (Mick's brother-in-law) and I arrived home together.

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Saturday July 9, 1977

Delia Collis.

Delia's champagne and strawberry party. Not really my scene - old ladies with blue rinses and flashy rings. Delia was fabulous as usual.

Got home at about 5pm with Eileen and Michael (Robertshaw) and within minutes Tony, Linda and Martyn were here to take me off on holiday for 14 bloody days!

Night out at the Poca-a-Poca in sunny Stockport and then waved bye bye to Tony and Linda. To the Hollywood quite pissed up.





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Sunday May 23, 1976

Rogation Sunday. Drive home from Marilyn and Carol's flat at about 8.30. My eyes pour with water and itch. Eileen, Michael and Helen are the only survivors, or so it seems. Christine & Roger are in Mum & Dad's bed, and Denise and Peter are in Lynn & Sue's room.

We make breakfast - Eileen and me that is - and one by one they drift downstairs. My cat fever soon passes and breakfast is followed by a wrestling match between Christine & Roger. She was so drunk last night. It's my first real conversation with Roger, who isn't half as bad as he likes to make others believe.

Helen goes off and Keith makes an exit with Denise in the direction of the moors. They get back an hour or so later and make breakfast for themselves.

By 12.30 Eileen and Michael have gone, and at 1pm I stagger into bed. I am woken ten minutes later by Carole on the phone. She chats about last night. She didn't attempt to do herself in. All she did was cut her finger on a Martini bottle which she accidentally dropped on the drive. She says she knows I hate her, which just isn't true, and goes on to say she will always love me. I don't say anything of importance andgo back to bed. Can't sleep at all and get up for good at 2pm. Watch a Shirley Temple film with Keith who comes at 2.30. We drive over to see Denise and the three of us go to Harrogate's Valley Gardens in the spitfire. It's something of a squeeze but we have a laugh. The fresh air did a lot to revive me. Keith and Denise are hand in hand all afternoon _________________. Back to her place for 6.30 and home for 7 o'clock. Bid farewell to Keith until next weekend. Chris and Pete call in at 8.15 just as Lynn and Sue return home. The three of us go to Linton and then to Grassington. End up in the Fish Dish in Ilkley at 11.15. A good evening out which I undertook with my fly open until a gent let me know I was being indecent in the Devonshire.

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