Wednesday July 25, 1979

_. Susan and Peter's engagement party at the R.A.O.B. Club in Otley. Seventy, or so, guests too numerous to mention here and piles of food which lasted until dawn.

Saw Gus and Frank for the first time since January. Dave Wainwright took a fancy to cousin Diane. All the Gadsby family were there in force, of course.

Home at 12. Drank gallons of beer. Played 'pass the carrot' and 'pass the cucumber', and 'pass the can of Brasso', &c. Auntie Hilda laughed until she cried. However, I cannot remember the evening with happiness because of what followed. Lynn had a burst of hysterics like I had never seen before, and stormed out saying she was 'sick to death of this family'. ___________.

-=-

Friday April 13, 1979

_. Good Friday

Day off. Alison walked in after breakfast from Burley where she arrived late last night. She looks well, and didn't mention John Pinder, and so we avoided the subject too.

A hot, sunny day. At 11:30 with Alison and Sue we went to collect Janet Simon, and then went on to Wendy Wools to pick up Sue's pay, and a pair of shoes. A strange thing to do you may think, but Alison and I did it without question and walking around Guiseley carrying a pair of size 5 women's shoes didn't seem remotely funny.

We went to the Commercial for a few drinks and roast beef sandwiches. Janet is experiencing pre-marital bother and she and the obnoxious Robert have terminated their relationship.

At 2pm [the pubs close at 2 because it is Good Friday] we went back to Otley and basked in the warmth of the Spring sunshine. Real shirt sleeve weather. Alison wanted some pottery from an obscure shop, but of course it was closed because of the season. I know I have said this before but why Oh why couldn't Christ have been crucified on a Wednesday, because it makes such a mess of what could be a perfectly wonderful Friday. Mind you, Good Wednesday doesn't have quite the right ring about it.

From Otley we collected Lynn from her place of work. Saw David Greenwood ______________. Back to Burley in W  for drinks with Lynn and Dave and afterwards we headed for the Red Lion where we spent the evening. Got pissed up and Ally and I realised we have an affinity. My flirting and footling around with Ally seemed to embarrass the others. Sue and Peter argued all night and bringing us home he collided with a roundabout and several rose bushes at the Fox and Hounds. Home in one piece.

-=-

Friday March 23, 1979

_. Woke up feeling quite well but regretting last night's stunt which cost me a fine pair of trousers. I didn't climb out of bed until 8 o'clock and so I missed Jim [Rawnsley]. Battling down the lane at 8:30 I met Lynn and Dave and scrounged a lift to town with them.

At the YP the atmosphere has improved. Sarah was all light and loveliness, but when she is one of her moods I could cheerfully throttle the life out of her.

At home tonight ~ Peter was in trouble. He phoned Sue, giggling, at 7:30, with Chippy in the background. They had of course been in Otley all day. He excused himself from visiting tonight by saying he was doing some work on his car. "If he tells you lies now, then what will he do when he's married?" interjected mother, unhelpfully. He did come up for Sue aft 8 but I was in the bath and avoided the aggravation.

Sat in front of the television tonight. A Variety Club of Gt Britain lunch in honour of Earl Mountbatten of Burma. Lord Mountbatten was accompanied by Prince & Princess Michael of Kent. She is expecting a baby in about three weeks and looked delicious, as usual. Marie-Christine von Reibnitz is the most beautiful addition to the Royal Family since Queen Alexandra joined it in 1863. Harry Secombe made a funny speech and so did Peter Ustinov. The poor, demented prime minister arrived late and seemed almost human. The Tories are demanding a vote of confidence next week and the government doesn't stand a chance of surviving. A general election is now on the cards and good old Margaret Thatcher will be shaking hands with the Queen as the first daffodils emerge through the snow.

-=-

Saturday March 3, 1979

_. To the White Cross at lunchtime with Susie & Peter and then went on to Otley with the intention of buying Lynn a birthday present. Sadly, Peter's car broke down near Birdcage Walk in Otley and something of a pantomime followed. I made my way to a phone box and contacted Margaret Nason and arranged for us to get a lift from Jim. Back at Guiseley we secured Dad with the tow rope and headed back to retrieve the ailing vehicle.

Tonight: Out to the Regent [Chapel Allerton] with Sarah at 8. I had arranged to meet Sue, Peter, Chippy and Deborah but they didn't arrive until 9 o'clock. I was left talking to Sarah & Richard Burke and his brother Eamonn, which was awkward. The lads don't like me at all, especially Eamonn. It all stems from our mutual relationship with J___, and for some reason this is embarrassing for him.

The night was dull and boring. I don't want to go back to the Regent for a long, long time. Home at 11. Sarah and Richard were arguing. For a moment I thought I stood a chance, but this prospect faded rapidly. She has a strange choice of boyfriends does Sarah - they are always the same.

Watched Bogart in a film later.

-=-

Saturday February 24, 1979

_. Spent the whole day alone like a recluse, lost in solitude and very deep, serious thought.  Mum and Dad went out to Clapham [near Settle] for the afternoon leaving me slumped over the typewriter dashing out a tale to Delia and then compiling a 'Stockport County Quiz' for David in that town.  I was far from satisfied with my efforts and by 5:30 all I had to show for a days toil was cold feet and a dull, aching pain in the back of my kneck. [Does kneck begin with a K? Of course not. Oh dear, I must be thinking of knickers].

Susan and Peter went to a cousin's 21st [a Miss Sanderson?] - at a club in Otley this afternoon, and Peter returned with glassy eyes and hair jutting out. They were off out again within minutes and then the walkers staggered in from the dales.

Watched TV with Mum and Dad. I didn't realise I was being morose or dull until Mama, that ever vigilant all seeing woman, pointed out that I hadn't said a word in hours. I blamed my lengthy silence on the long day in solitary confinement. I did feel like the Count of Monte Cristo - alone in my mustard coloured cell, commonly called the dining room, with no company other than the rats and vermin who have accumulated outside since the onset of the dustmen's strike - about eight long weeks ago.

-=-

Friday December 15, 1978

Otley: market day

Rain. A generally damp atmosphere. Mum woke me to say I had to phone Gus. I did so at 11:30am and an hour later I headed down the lane in heavy rain to the Regent in Gusieley. Gus, Chippy, Neil and Johnny, &c are all there supping ale. I was damp and out of my depth because their conversation was all about their own school days. From here at 2:30 we moved to the Junction in Otley. We were all quite pissed up, and the landlord, resembling something like a rugby prop forward, kept asking us to be quiet. Peter joined us at 3, and because it was market day, we supped and made merry until 4.

Heard a few Jeremy Thorpe jokes ~ quite marvellous. At 4:30, dripping in lager, I returned home. Mother is never happy about me drinking in the daytime and afternoon tea was a bit frosty. Out again at 5:30 to the Regent in Guiseley. Had something of a headache, and no money. Took out an IMF loan from Peter, Chippy and Dave W. They lent me £8 in all, I think. A mini bus collected us at 6 and we went to a pub near Crumpet in Batley. Gus and Frank were hideously pissed and kept dropping their trousers and rolling on the floor. All quite embarrassing, so much so that Pete and I went to a pub next door and returned to the main party after a few sensible drinks. To the disco at about 10:30. Slightly rough. We all danced and freaked out in style. A band came on stage for an hour or so and we were deafened by the noise. I only indulged in a couple of drinks and danced for the remainder of the night. Outside at 2am feeling sober, tired and thirsty. The bus didn't collect us until 2:35 and I didn't get to bed until after 4:0am.

-=-

Wednesday November 22, 1978

Moon's last quarter 21:24

A very historic and sad day. __________________________________________.

At 3pm Jacq phoned to ask if I want the (signet) ring which I ordered from Trixie. I said yes. She reminded me about all her records and belongings in storage at Pine Tops. ________________.

Watched television. Bed at 12:15.

-=-

Saturday August 12, 1978

Sun rises 05:41 Sun sets 20:30

I had a bit of a rough night and didn't get much sleep before about 4am. Sneezing, wheezing, coughing and gasping all night long. A few tablets and cups of 'Lem Sip' eased things a little and I finally nodded off. Up with the larks at 9:30 feeling much better.

At about 11:30 Dad, Sue, Pete, John and I went to Leeds and met Dave B, Richard & Chris B, and Mr & Mrs Henry Baker, and Mandy B outside Young's dress hire where we were fixed up with morning suits for the wedding. ___________________.

Home at 1:30. John took some lunch with us. Just like old times in fact. John really was on top form today and had me rolling about in hysterics in Young's.

Afterwards I went with Lynn and Dave to Lawn Road and finished daubing emulsion on the bathroom walls. Dave was near to collapse and at one point he was to be found in a medium sized heap upon a roll of carpet in a bedroom. We returned home for dinner at 6 o'clock.

Jacq's been to Scarborough today with 'the crowd' from the Y.W.C.A. She phoned at 7:30. Sue, Pete and I met her in Guiseley and we had a quick drink at the Station Hotel. They both drank Tequila! On to the Crown (Yeadon) which was dead, and then to the Westbourne at Otley where John and Maria were supposed to be supping. They never materialised. The pub is revolting and rough. Karen Cole was there. Making a quick exit we ventured to the Clothiers, which was also thoroughly miserable. I just failed to enjoy tonight. We all came back to Pine Tops to watch a late night film. ________.

-=-

Saturday December 24, 1977

_.Got up this morning to assess my wounds. I'll probably need plastic surgery and by the look of things it will affect my fan club membership. Oh, it's terrible. I've buggered my hand too. How will I battle through my Christmas dinner?

Sarah: revolted by my injuries.

Before going downstairs I had to ask Susan where I had been and exactly how I had acquired my injuries. She told my coldly. Oh, I am a fool.

My apologies were accepted by Mum and Dad and he went off to Otley (Police Station) to deal with the swine, or at least find something out. I believe my assailant was only 16 years-old.

Sarah came over at 8 and we, the whole family, went to the Hare & Hounds. Sarah is quiet and I put it down to my injuries. Am I so disfigured that Sarah is revolted?

The atmosphere in the pub is not what I would call festive. In fact most people seem quite sombre. No doubt it's because old age is creeping up on the group and crushing the lustre of yuletide joy from our poor minds.

Sarah, pleading exhaustion, retired at 11:30. Back to Pine Tops with the whole family. Maria brought her Scottish cousin, Marian along too. But, possibly because of my condition, I just felt morose and dismal. Tired even. At 2:00am I stunned the revellers by announcing my retirement.

-=-

Friday December 23, 1977

_.Roaring drunk all day with consequences nauseating and dire.Please do not read on if you are of a weak or delicate nature. At the YP we sank a bottle of gin before going over to the pub - the Central - and whilst having Christmas drinks in this ancient pub I am sorry to say my mind disintegrated. Everything became blurred and warped. I managed to get a bus at about 3 and at home I fell off a chair several times whilst attempting to stick balloons to the ceiling for my irate Mama.

From home I went with dear Dave L, Sue, Pete N, Chris, Pete M, Steve Hudson and a scattering of Pete N's pals to the Fox. I remember nothing. Evidently I was drinking Tequila and orange.

Junction, Otley.

I am told that Dave left for home at about 10 and we moved on to the Junction in Otley - of all places - where a breach of the Queen's peace occurred and possibly a case of Grievous Bodily Harm. Whilst making my exit from the said tavern I was, allegedly, set upon by one ANTONY KIRK, of Otley, who assaulted me in the face, my nose, mouth, &c. Supposedly I accosted his tart (she is from Otley and so she must be one), but dear Sue and Pete insist that on leaving the pub I did nothing to provoke an onslaught upon my person. The lad just landed one on me for no apparent reason.

My body was borne in great mourning to Peter (Nason's) where my wounds were dressed and a Mass was said. On my arrival home, it is said, Mama went hysterical and I sat drunk, quietly bleeding.

-=-

Saturday November 26, 1977

Arose at 10. Mum tells me, over breakfast, that the Gloucester's baby is to be Lady Davina Elizabeth Alice Benedikte Windsor. Davina, eh? I'm not going to bother connecting the illustrious infant with a certain flaxen haired Oxfordshire maiden with big tits. The connection would be just too obvious. The young lady (the shapely blond one) is now the constant companion of young Winston Churchill's brother-in-law, Mr d'Erlanger.

Uncle Peter called in before lunch to see Mum. He was his usual boisterous self ___________.

The Black Horse.

I intended remaining by the fireside tonight but Mr Mather came up at 8 and easily persuaded me to join him and Martyn at the pub. We drank at the Black Horse at Askwith, the Black Bull at Otley and Fox and Hounds at Menston. Wendy Smith, Anne and Sue (Smith's) joined us at the Fox and the six of us went off merrily to Oakwood Hall. _______. Oakwood Hall was reminiscent of a deep jungle. The humidity was incredible. Wendy and I had a few drinks and danced together continuously. I was pissed.  Peter was with Sue (who told me in strictest confidence that she hates his guts!) and Martyn and Anne were not on friendly terms. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  My God Wendy is a big girl! On to 21, Victoria Drive, Horsforth, with a pissed Peter. Young Chris was out until 4am with Michelle. Dirty bugger.

-=-

Saturday June 25, 1977

With Tony and Martyn to Bradford this morning. Martyn got a new pair of jeans and a T-shirt for Ibiza. I'm envious because not two pennies do I possess. Tony is in a very similar situation too.

We then took Martyn to Cleckheaton Golf Course and then went on to Otley to browse around - generally looking for old friends and acquaintances on whom to impose ourselves. Saw Jane (of Peter Mather fame, see Diary Sept 3-4, 1976) on Otley market and she's quite chatty. I'm not all that impressed with her though.

Back to the flat for tea. Read the Daily Express, watched Wimbledon and the Muppet Show and then played some ancient records in Tony's collection. I taped a batch of them so that we can have a sing-along in the car.

Harrogate Arms.

Martyn came at 8.30 and we went out a 9. First to Pool-in-Wharfedale and then to the Harrogate Arms. At the latter Carole is in the lounge with Fogarty and did her best to hide when we walked in. I didn't even spot her but Tony's eye fell on her straight away. I could laugh really. When I was at the bar she went over to chat with the boys and when I approached them laden with glasses she ducked away back to Peter. The childish, stupid bitch. Tony told her to go away and asked her to ring him tomorrow.

Back to the flat where I got horribly drunk and vomited. A concoction of brandy and whisky. Val came to see Tony and they took Martyn home at 1.30. I sat in a chair by candlelight until dawn.

-=-

Saturday May 28, 1977

Don't get out of bed until 12 noon but when I do I feel better. Still slightly 'tingly' but better at least. I shudder at the sight of Lynn, clad only in a scanty bikini, laying prostrate on the lawn. 'Don't do it!' I yell from the window, but my pleas go unnoticed as the powerful suns beats down upon my poor, vulnerable sister. Will our roles of last night be reversed and will I be nursing my sister tonight? Time can only tell.

Peter the Alsatian.

Ring Tony and he and Martyn call at 12.30. To the Black Bull in Otley and then the Bowling Green. Very hot day. Feel it penetrating my shirt (the sun, that is). Move on to Otley Show which is something of a dead loss. Nothing to look at but hot dog stands and beer tents. Watch Alsatian dogs competing in some ridiculous charade, and unbelievably the winning dog was called 'Peter'. A dog called Peter?  Peter the iguana - yes, Peter the Tortoise, yes. Peter the budgie, yes. But Peter the Alsatian, no.

Lynn & Dave

Tony comes back for tea and at 8, or possibly 9, we go for Martyn and then to Skipton again. Not very enjoyable and it's back to the Rose & Crown for 10.30. Phil Hewitt and the clan were in - no comment.

Back to Tony's flat. Tony and Martyn fall asleep leaving me with a large glass of Scotch and 'Saturday Night at the Mill' on TV. Oh God, I think, what a bore. But Tony was soon awake and he took Martyn home and then came dashing back and took me to Il Trovatore, where we find Lynn and Dave B. Joined by Ruth and Linda. All back to the flat where we sat all night just talking. The girls left at 3am and Lynn and Dave at 4am. Tony went to bed at 6 and I sat in a chair dozing on and off until 11am. Am I perhaps insane? No doubt.

-==-

Friday March 18, 1977

Went to Christine's  at 1pm to view her scars. They're not as bad as I imagined them to be and she is unperturbed about the whole incident.

Paddy Braithwaite gets her to tell the tale of the reaction of the policeman to her 'Starsky & Hutch' roll over a car covered in whipped cream and glace cherries. Hilarious.

CB goes off to prepare to go out and Paddy tells me he is the only person alive with no pituitary gland. It's something at the bottom of your brain and as far as I know it controls every gland.

He drives CB and I to Otley where we go straight to the Black Bull. Met Peter N with his father, Jim. At 2.30 -3pm we went to the Bowling Green for more. Met Rick Rider, Mick Lynch, &c. Left a 4pm feeling slightly intoxicated. Christine was starving and so we went up to Harry Ramsden's for 'one of each'. We then bid each other farewell until 8.

Home for tea with a banging headache and a present for mother (it's Mother's Day on Sunday). Eat and slept until 6.30. Out with Tony and Martyn to the Hare. Joined by an exhausted CB who looks really rough tonight (no offence) and by Chris R and Peter M. We all went to the Rose & Crown (except CB). I drank ginger beer and Coca Cola. Felt dreadfully tired and put this down to the combined effects of last night and this afternoon. By 11.30 I'm at home watching a Yul Brynner film. What will the female contingent be like tomorrow?

-==-

Saturday November 27, 1976

Go for a drive around Otley and Ilkley this afternoon with Sue & Peter. They are a pair, well-matched too, if ever I saw one. Nip into the Hare at 2.45 for a quick drink. Sue has a gin which she says is disgusting at this hour of the day. Pete doesn't half have her on, but she loves having her leg pulled and knows just how to answer. She is a shrewd and very sweet comedienne. Lynn is much too like me for comfort.

At 4 Dave and Glen arrive.It sure is great to see them for the first time in four months. They bring holiday photographs which are tremendous - much better than Peter's. The ones with Pam are exceptional. I take the negatives to get copies of my own. The lads soon settle down with Mum and Dad and Sue. [Lynn and Dave are at Alison's in Winchester]. We take them to Harry Ramsden's for tea. They had never heard of the place. Mum and Dad, Sue & Pete, Margaret & Jim Nason go off for a meal at 7 and us three lads mess about until 8 when we WALK TO THE HARE! Martyn joined us at nine o'clock. We attempted to get a taxi to Oakwood [Hall] at 11 but had no luck & so we went by bus to Ilkley and then got a taxi from there. Dave and Glen can't stop talking about the holiday. Martyn is eager to go back to Ibiza next year and doesn't think Peter & Chris would be adverse to the idea.

Get a bit pissed at Oakwood at meet a nice girl called Paulette who comes and sits with me because a band of marauding Pakistanis are after her. Her big friend amuses me no end. Martyn is with his tarty new friend he met at the Stoney Lea last night. The lads had a good laugh and we all came back to Pine Tops at 2.30 where we ate cheese on toast and sat up for a couple of hours.

-==-

Saturday June 12, 1976

A day upon which I should truly be ashamed of myself. It's the official birthday of Her Majesty the Queen and subsequently Trooping the Colour in London and I am not there to lend my support. In 1972, 73, 74 and 75 I have always made a point of attending, and indeed it became something of a ritual, but what with the up and coming holiday, lack of funds and lack of a suitable escort, I decided to give it a miss this year. I climbed out of bed at 10.15 to view the spectacle on television. The weather in London looks perfect and I sit long-faced staring at the TV regretting my decision to stay at home. Please do not take this break in tradition as a decline in my loyalty to the Throne. My feelings on this subject have changed in no way and I need elaborate no more on them, because you, dear reader, are very well aware of my royalist leanings.

Lynn and I go into Otley this afternoon and give the shops a good going over. At 5.30 I attempt to take her for a drink at the Black Bull but to our horror discover the pub isn't open! Home on the bus cursing the English licensing laws.

Peter M and I go out for a drink this evening. Start in the tap room of the Menston Arms, then the Malt Shovel and get to the Hare & Hounds for 10 o'clock. John and Maria are there having a drink and we have a good chat. Chris comes shortly afterwards and the three of us go to Oakwood Hall where Carole and Denise can be seen. At one stage it became so hot inside that we piled out at the back and onto the lawns. Carole had minor hysterics at one point but I ignored them. I do not like being cooped up with her is discos & don't intend being so gullable in future.

-==-

Friday May 7, 1976

Hilarious day. Get up at about 9 o'clock and Christine arrives about an hour later. Take a photograph of her wearing Dad's police helmet which should be brilliant.

Arrive Otley at 11 o'clock and have a greasy sandwich in an equally greasy cafe and then go straight in to the Black Bull. The weather is becoming really bright and warm, and we watch its progress from the cool darkness of the bar. Drink until 4 o'clock and then walk up to see David in hospital. The ward is boiling hot and most of the patients lay in semi-conscious exhaustion on top of their beds. We can only bear it for half an hour or so. David looks pounds better and says he may be out by next weekend. Walk back to Otley Market Square and once again into the Black Bull which opens for the evening onslaught. The bar staff are baffled as to why we aren't unconscious. Christine and I discuss our relationship and we come to the conclusion that we'll get married in twenty years time when we both look round and realise we've been left on the shelf.

Leave the Black Bull at 7.30 in a thunderstorm and go straight to the Hare in a taxi. Immediately on our arrival she throws herself into the arms of Roger Boughton - the blackguard - and I go sit with Chris, Denise, Andy, Linda, Sue & Peter. I begin to have a hangover at 9.30. Nearly got thrown out of the pub after groping with Denise for all to see. Chris brings me home and I go up to bed after cheese on toast.

--==--

Sunday February 22, 1976

Sex(agesima). Sit on the settee with Carole until after 4 o'clock this morning. The sun was creeping over Otley Chevin by the time I hit the sack, and I didn't feel at all tired. Carole is a darling. She maybe backward and dull-witted, but gorgeous all the same. Our only problem is one of communication really. Sometimes we get on like a barn on fire, but on other occasions I feel as though I'm banging my head against a barn wall because she just doesn't understand a word I say. I had the same feelings of frustration last year in Majorca when a German girl couldn't understand that I wanted to dance with her. However, I hasten to add, I am not serious in any way and I could never make her my wife or 'constant companion'. I'll be battling on in a single capacity when Carole is the proud grandmother of scores of children.

Up at lunchtime and the two of us go for a bracing walk down through Esholt Woods and round to Silverdale to see John & Maria's house again. (PS - I went to look at the house yesterday afternoon with Lynn & Dave, and we had a coffee with Bessie Little and Stuart.) Carole was startled by the smallness of the place and likened it to Paul's rabbit hutch. Modern houses do look small when compared with Pine Tops Palace.

Back to our place at 3 o'clock and Mum, Lynn and Sue depart for the Macdonald residence where they remain until evening.

Just Carole and I left and we watch a bit of TV. Arthur Negus in 'Going For A Song' -and then played records until 7 o'clock.

Had tea with Dad - just the three of us. He is baffled by her ignorance. I've come to the conclusion that nobody can hold a conversation with her.

-==-

Friday January 9, 1976

Something's happened to Carole. Yesterday everything was loveliness and rosy, but today I detect a marked change in her attitude.

She went round to Maria's straight from work. I was summoned to Ridgeway at 8 o'clock and walked in to find a conference drawing to a close. The girls and Mr Macdonald had been nattering about something and Carole was exceptionally cold and disinterested.

We caught the bus to the Hare, and if David hadn't been in it would have been unbearable.

We moved on to the Black Bull in Otley and then called in at the Junction, which is up for sale and under Mum and Dad's scrutiny. The place is an absolute wreck but could be made nice if a couple of million quid was to be lavished upon it.

Carole was acting like a moron and when everyone asked her what was wrong she replied that nothing was wrong.

At 11pm David was feeling hungry and so we all went to Headingley for a bit of something to eat. Carole's silence continued, and I was getting sick of it.

We all came back for coffee and Carole, as you've probably gathered by now, was the typical little chatter-box and life and soul of the party. Dave B took her home at about 12.30 which left David, Dad and me talking about capital punishment and the rest of the current debate points until after 2am. When Dad went up to bed Dave sat for a while and said, quite seriously, that Papa is the greatest speaker he's ever heard. Coming from David that certainly is a great complement.

David left at 2.30 and we think we're going to Oakwood Hall tomorrow - that's if Carole will lower herself to mutter a 'yes' or a 'no'.

-==-

Saturday December 13, 1975

Carole gives up smoking?

Carole's Auntie Anne had a stroke last night and at 2 o'clock the two of us go to Otley Hospital to see her. The coldest day of the year. We walked through Otley with ice hanging from all our prominent extremities.

Auntie isn't as bad as we thought and she'll probably be out of hospital by Christmas. She is in a private room, and we, the relations and friends, made a terrible racket. Her son, Geoffrey, sat flicking live matches at Carole, and she retaliated by giving a high pitched scream every time a missile struck. Little Paul drank all the patient's Lucozade, and Mrs Phillips sat hurling nothing but abuse at her only daughter. I'm quite positive that we can't have done Auntie Anne much good. The three of us, Geoffrey, Carole and me, left auntie in her smouldering bed at 4pm, and walked into town.

Carole demolished a display in one of the supermarkets and we were forced to make a hasty exit. Back to her place where we collected a few presents to go under our Christmas tree (see below) and then go on to Pine Tops. Lynn and David are erecting the tree in the lounge whilst everyone looks on.

I ate a couple of kippers and Lynn and Dave had scrambled eggs on toast.

Back to Carole's at 7.30 and she gets herself ready to go out. We go across to the Hare where Dave L is in residence. We stand about for an hour or so then we go up to the Craven Heifer where Carole renounces tobacco smoking for ALL TIME!!!???!!!...or so she says anyway. Then up to the Cow and Calf with Peter M. Hear from Carol Smith that ________. I had no idea at all. No wonder ______ has been a bit weird of late.

Arrange with Carole to go on a long walk tomorrow morning. I intend getting up at 7.30am. Will he do it? This is the question on the tip of all your tongues.


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