Sunday September 10, 1978

Moon's first quarter 04:20

16th after Trinity

A day made very amusing my the presence of dear Auntie Eddy. We were all very much hungover at breakfast and Eddy (Jadwega, of course) brightened things up with her wonderful Polish banter. She told Susan that yesterday she had looked 'radiating' in her bridesmaid garb.

Alison was dreadfully pale, and John P said he was close to death. Lynn and Dave arrived at about 11 to say goodbye and Eddy almost had Dave upstairs for a massage but he fought her off successfully. Audrey Baker fell victim here and was taken upstairs for the full works. Eddy advised Henry on his vitamin B intake. John came in to bid them farewell and then off he went back to Maria and JPH and they left for Stranraer.

Richard & Mandy B arrived and took them off to East Midlands Airport and they flew to Ibiza at 3pm. Alison and John P went with them. Lunch with Mum, Dad, Jacq, Bert, Eddy and Reggie. We had fish and chips from Harry Ramsden's, but first we collected all the floral displays from St Paul's church. The old hag of a caretaker went on and on about the mess Delia had made on Friday.

After lunch we fell into the lounge. It's a tremendous anti~climax. Bert, Eddy and Reggie went to Leeds at 5pm for the coach home to Nottingham and we watched TV. Keith Michell playng Henry VIII in the 1972 film.

-=-

Friday September 8, 1978

Busy day. I spent the afternoon at Esholt church with Sarah and Delia watching them arrange flowers, and came with them back to Pine Tops, laden with flowers, to decorate the house for Mama. They did the church wonderfully.

At 2pm John Pinder and I escaped to the Commercial - just for one drink. John was a bit over powered by Delia, who was going on about Lord Valentine Thynne and her recent experiences with Lord Bath at Longleat. It was just too much for him.

Mum was suffering all day after her barley wine session last night. Sue was feeling ill this evening. Her ear piercings from a few weeks ago have gone wrong.

Uncle Bert and Aunt Jadwega arrived with Cousin Reggie. Dave of Stockport closely followed. We laughed and joked. Jacq arrived bearing a bowl of jelly beans for Lynn and Dave B too put in an appearance but was sent home before midnight of course. We sat in the lounge buried beneath continental quilts ~ the house was so cold to preserve Mama's floral displays.

-=-

Monday January 16, 1978

No news from YTV. The swines have forgotten me, it seems. They'll regret this in years to come when I'm socking it to the universe. Perhaps I should try the BBC?

The YP is thoroughly boring today. Something on TV tonight about Myra Hindley. The revolting Earl of Longford is trying to get her paroled whilst Mrs West, mother of one of Hindley's victims, has collected 27,000 names on a petition to keep the bitch inside. I would willingly join a band of 'merry men' and go lynch Hindley is she were ever to step outside her plush, Holloway jail apartment. Surely, the rope was intended for fiends such as this?

To bed shortly after eleven. Sat reading. Dad says it's Uncle Bert's birthday tomorrow. Is he 50, or 51 perhaps? I think he was born in 1927.

-=-

Tuesday May 17, 1977

Feel grotty all day. Stomach ache mainly, and anorexia. All the same I forced down two sandwiches and a pea and ham soup - but could easily have done without. You don't want me collapsing at work do you?

Kathleen suggested that I ought to go home early, but like King Charles I (you know, him with the ginger hair and no head) I decided to be a martyr instead.

Carole: grandmother's accident

Carole rang at 3 and we decided to go out again on Thursday, again to Oakwood (Hall). I asked whether her mother had been knocked down, the victim of a road traffic accident and she laughed saying: "Oh no...
it 's my grandmother". It seems that the old lady fell in the path of a van belonging to the Gas Board and passed a night in Otley Hospital emerging with three stitches. Carole's attitude is quite frightening and she insists that the sight of ones beloved Grandmama disappearing beneath the wheels of a bright yellow NEGAS van isn't half as horrific as it sounds. Having no living grandmother myself I can never experience such a phenomenon.

Spent an evening in front of the television. The headlines on the 9 o'clock news was the royal visit to Scotland. It's the first of the 'Jubilee tours'. The BBC must have taken leave of their senses. A royal item to be the first item on the news? Surely the first such thing to occur since the abdication Edward VIII.

Took a bath after the royal spectacular and then returned to the drawing room to find Mama reclining on a sofa sipping delicately at her glass of Guinness. No other exercise whatsoever is allowed - Dr Jacques's orders.

Sit with a mug of cocoa and decide I feel much better. My bowels have improved tremendously since tea time. I cannot help thinking that Uncle Bert might have brought a virus with him from darkest Nottingham. Dearest Uncle will get his head kicked in if I find this to be so.

-=-

Saturday May 14, 1977

Susan wakes me at 8.30 and I leave for Leeds at about 10 o'clock.  Say farewell to Uncle Bert who is injecting some foul smelling liquid into the stub where his poor leg once reclined. Nauseating, eh?

Leave Leeds at 1055 and get into Manchester by 12.15. I walk through Manchester wearing a blue and white striped T-shirt. This may seem to be a normal thing to do, and indeed had I adorned my body with the said T-shirt in Cambridge, Milford Haven and possibly Carnarvon it would have been. Not Manchester, however. The local dominant football team are quite partial to a more crimson hue. Yes, Manchester Utd, of course. I sought refuge in a telephone box to avoid a particularly vicious looking mob. As I crouched 'neath the volumes of yellow pages my thoughts were with Queen Marie Antoinette and how she must have felt as the filthy Parisians dragged her through the streets in a rickety tumbril.

Got to Stockport and met Dave G. He informs me that my troublesome shirt is in the colours of Stockport County FC and gives me a pat on the back and takes me to the Unity for a drink. Six or seven drinks to be exact. Meet a couple of his friends - Steve (who I met last time), Garry and Billy. A sobering stroll round Stockport.  The climax of the afternoon is a coffee in a Wimpy Bar.

The Hollywood Hotel

Back to the Hollywood and meet Mr & Mrs Glynn. See the Muppets on TV. Also see Glenn.

To the Unity with with Dave G, Glenn, Garry, Steve and Billy plus two unnamed females who are lovely little movers, and one of them (Holly) fancies me, I think. Go by taxi to the Poco Club where 'The Brothers' are appearing. (The do "Sing Me" which they had in the charts). We didn't even see them anyway and got pissed in the adjoining disco. Glenn disappeared at 1am after an ice throwing contest with Dave and I as we did our usual formation dance routine. Really a hysterical evening. Dave and I back to the Hollywood at 2.30am by taxi and sleep head to toe (or arse to tit) in Dave's large bed.

-=-

Friday May 13, 1977

I have reverted to my faithful old pen. Yes, it is Friday the Thirteenth. Pouring with rain when Mama wakes me at 10 o'clock to say she's been into the office but has returned because she feels unwell. She keeps dashing to the toilet - urine problem. She's wearing a path from her boudoir to the smallest room. (I realise it's probably indelicate to discuss such things here and it's quite abominable of me to record it for posterity, but I haven't much else to say).

Uncle Bert: diarrhoea

Walk into Guiseley with umberella and collect medicine for Motherdear and pay a social call on the Guiseley branch of the West Yorkshire Police force. Also went to the bank for £30 which boosts my holiday money up to £100.

Make lunch for Dad and I and Mum announces that Uncle Bert is coming tonight for the weekend. I don't believe I've seen him since Christmas 1973. Of course he's had a leg off since then and his other one isn't all that good. Oh My God, he's on a dismal decline at only 50.

Dad and I go to Leeds at 6 o'clock and pick up Uncle (Bert) at Quarry Hill flats for some reason. He is unrecognisable. Old isn't the word. I almost die laughing when Dad asks him how he is. "I have had diarrhoea" comes the reply, "and so on Wednesday I decided to take a couple of days off in lieu". No one but me found it funny.

Chris and Pete came at 8.30 and stood on the drive admiring John's new car. I am alarmed that Peter can pretend that Tuesday's conversation never took place. I am extremely cool with him ____________.

Tony and Martyn come and we go to the Bod and the Hare and Hounds at Heaton. Michelle and Co join us. I like Michelle immensely - so sweet and nice. In the Bod I told Pete to 'piss off'._________.

With Tony and Martyn to the Il Trovatore. Thoroughly boring.

-=-

Thursday August 1, 1974

Good day at the YP. Have one and a half hours for lunch in order to go into Leeds to obtain a copy of Uncle Bert's birth certificate for Aunt Jadwega - who needs it in order to be naturalised a British citizen. I am disgusted with the authorities for not allowing poor Auntie to have a passport. She's just as much an Englishwoman as Mama, and besides, anyone marrying an Englishman ought to become British immediately. Get the certificate at the registrars in Park Square. He was born at 110, Swinnow Rd, Bramley, on January 17, 1926, the son of Albert Rhodes and Ruth Ellen, formerly Upton. Very interesting. Home at nearly 6. Post the certificate on to Nottingham, where Auntie is waiting eagerly with open arms for her ticket to Poland and home.

To the Hare and Hounds after 8 with Denny and Marita, Dave Lawson, etc. Quite a nice evening but expensive for me. Marita, bless her heart, was drinking brandy and Babycham, at 37p a shot. Back to our place before 11 to see 'Cinema'. Chris wasn't very talkative, and I was quite nicely placed between a cushion and Denny. A few martinis went down smoothly.

-=-

Wednesday July 31, 1974

Bored all day. Sleep on the bus coming from the YP and collapse over the tea table, listless and over-heated at about 6.

Dearest Denny rings after 7 and we almost decide to go out tomorrow night, but decide to wait until the time comes to see how we feel. Have a bath at 9 listening to the American 'Top 20' on Radio Luxembourg - some of the records were quite good, but otherwise it was mediocre.

Sit watching tv and drinking martini with Lynn. An interview with Glenda Jackson. Bed before 12. Sit reading Queen Mary (which was due back on July 25), and almost doze to sleep. Auntie Eddy (Jadwega) rings at 12.30 in a panic about Uncle Bert's missing birth certificate. She rings me because I am the family archivist, and expert on births, marriages and deaths. I say the certificate was last seen in the possession of Grandad, who died in September, so I suppose Grandma has it. Evidently, the authorities refuse to give Eddy a passport until she becomes a naturalised Englishwoman. I promise to get a copy of the birth certificate from Leeds or wherever the Bramley records for the 1920s are kept. Bed and sleep after 1.


-==-

Wednesday May 29, 1974

Up at 9.30. Brilliant day. Lynn and Sue take Mum into Bradford for the day and I go into Guiseley calling in at the library and pay a visit to the bank in order to question them about Barclaycard. The cashier scowled when I said I was 19. Buy 2 pork chops and an Express where I read that Princess Richard of Gloucester is 'probably' having a baby. She hasn't been seen in public since the end of April. Received a letter from Denny in answer to the one I wrote to her on Saturday - hilarious. I love her. She quite surprised me this afternoon when she rang from work to see what my reaction was to her passionate letter. We had a laugh about it. I made Papa his lunch at 2, then leapt in the bath in preparation for my rendezvous with the Virgins of the Yorkshire Post, namely the library girls. At the YP a letter awaits me from Austin-Clarke, which is even more ignorant than the first one he sent me. Kathleen makes a quick exit, wishing to avoid my protestations. Go to the Wellesley with Tony Kelly. A very busy evening. Home at 12. Mum awaits my arrival and I show her my latest obscene letter. She is furious and says she'll ring the swine tomorrow, but I manage to deter her. She tells me that Uncle Bert had his foot amputated yesterday and Dad especially looked most sad. Mind you, Dad becomes deeply emotional at most things. I'd hate to think that my brother would one day be undergoing such an operation. In fact I'd rather die first. I am very close to my brother. We've been virtually inseperable since birth. -==-

Monday May 20, 1974

Up at 7.30. See Judith Rushworth at Guiseley Train Station and Pamela. J was in hysterics about my list of possible bridegrooms which I drew up last week. She says she'd like to see more. At the YP I discover that Kathleen is on holiday for a week and that Anne is in charge. She is furious. Ray didn't come in last night and all the filing and work is piled up waiting to be done. She rings Ray and his wife informs us that he is ill. I immediately offer my services for night duty and Anne is greatly relieved. Sarah looks beautiful - the week without seeing her has made me realise just how pretty she is. Leave at 9.10 for home, passing Carol on the way. Mum comes in at 1.0 and we have fish and chips for lunch.

Valery Giscard d'Estaing is the President of France - the youngest in one hundred years. No doubt he'll put Wilson in his place about re-negotiating the terms of entry into the Common Market. M. Mitterrand would have been a better president from the Labour government's point of view, but I am glad the right wing managed to scrape through with a victory. Communists presidents are all very well, but not when they are only 22 miles across the English Channel!

Read Anita Leslie's 'Edwardians in Love' and see that 64 years ago this very day King Edward VII was buried at Windsor. I expect that morsel of information thrills you to bits.

YP at 5 (again!). Quiet and pleasant evening, and go for a drink with my racing correspondent friend. Home at 12.15 to find Mum and Dad drinking coffee. Poor Uncle Bert is seriously ill in hospital again and Auntie Eddy rang from Nottingham & was very upset. Poor Sue took the call and it choked her. Mum and Dad are going to see him at the earliest opportunity tomorrow. Mother has said all along that Uncle Bert was far worse than any of us realised and it now seems she is correct. She says they'll amputate his foot, or even his whole leg, within the next few months, and Mum is invariably right.

-==-

Sunday April 14, 1974

Easter Day. Rose at 11 o'clock. See a religious epic film on the BBC. They always give the public some fanatical religious film on Easter Sunday.

Turkey lunch is very successful. Mum reveals some startling things afterwards. Whilst reading Elizabeth of Glamis she notes that George VI had the same operation on his leg in 1949 as Uncle Bert had at Christmas time. If George VI and Uncle Bert have anything in common, poor uncle will be dead within 3 years.

John rings Chris after 6.30 and agrees to meet at the Hare and Hounds. I don't like the idea and want to go to the Emmotts, because June nearly always goes on Sundays. John says I must be insane, and I realise I must try and stop this crazy infatuation. However, it is so frustrating to know that she will be sitting in one place whilst I am sitting, equally miserable, in another.

Susan told an amusing story of little Margaret Saxton when the little girl walked in the room on Friday (Good Friday) and sat next to Sue looking terribly miserable. "What's wrong?" asked Sue. "I'm very upset", she replied. "They crucified Jesus today." Very sweet.

Meet Chris and the Hare and Hounds at 8.30. A very pleasant evening indeed despite the small numbers. Chris, John and I make such a happy team.


"Seasons in the Sun" Terry Jacks.

-==-

Thursday December 6, 1973

Pay day again. I receive an extra twenty odd pence. Old Mr Linacre must have realised by now that my service to the YP is invaluable.

Arrive home at 6.30. The train from Leeds was incredibly slow. Uncles Harry and Bert are devouring my evening meal. Uncle B is still suffering with a bad foot, gangrine or something.

Dad is so pleased to see his brothers. Mum thinks Uncle B is a strange character. He is so vague. Uncle Harry is my favourite uncle on Dad's side of the family - with a funny sense of humour. They go out to Burley-in-Wharfedale to see cousin Dorothy, who resides at the White Horse, not returning until 2.30. I see tv until 12.

-==-