Friday September 17, 1976

With Lynne to the Hare & Hounds at 9 o'clock. Only CB and Martyn join us. We have a good laugh. I don't know what Lynne thinks of CB. It didn't help at Peter's party when CB and Roger broke all moral codes and spent several hours in one of the Mather's bedroom suites. Lynne gave me a postcard today with the words: 'If Only the People I like All Liked Each Other' inscribed on the front. How apt.

Just Lynne and I back to Pine Tops where we watch the end of a Vincent Price film after which I frighten Lynne into a state of terror with my impersonation of a ghoul. I also had a skirmish with the boyfriend of Susan Walters. Nothing worth a mention here though.

Lynne returns to Thornton le Dale and I have no idea when I shall see her again. She may be travelling from T le D to Burley in Wharfedale every day next week and she's staying here on Friday and Saturday. Of course, it's Eileen's party at Dewsbury on Saturday [John's 20th birthday].

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Thursday September 16, 1976

Still no Maria developments. Go with Lynne to the Hare & Hounds, the Red Lion and then the Stoney Lea. The latter place is packed with prostitutes and what appears to be a coach party of married, fifty year-old women, set free for the night. Disgusting. One tart in particular was seducing a little chap young enough to be her grandson.

Lynne is gorgeous. She's in a new pullover - Angora wool I think. Her hair is flowing too. She is more luscious with her locks hanging loose. Not that she is unattractive with her hair in a bun you understand, but you know how sexy I think long hair is. Don't I go on at times?

Home at 1.30am and Lynne almost has a weep in the car. Thornton le Dale may well be an attractive village but the Mathers should never have moved there. She had a savage argument with Peter on Sunday about the whole business. Sad.

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Wednesday September 15, 1976

Mum and Dad go to Auntie Mabel's for a couple of hours. Susan, Lynn, Peter and I take up the carpet in my room and begin tearing the wallpaper from the walls as though we're berserk. The redecoration of Pine Tops is under way. Susan laughs at my colourful language as I roll up the carpet and pays me the marvellous complement of being like John Cleese - or 'Basil Fawlty' whom he so remarkably portrays.

Mum and Dad return home at 11pm. They saw cousin Jackie and her boyfriend Peter at Marlene's [they hadn't been to Mabel's at all]. Mum asks me if Peter is the one who is married and I say yes. Nothing further was said on the subject. To bed knackered.

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Tuesday September 14, 1976

Derek Naylor comes laughing into the office saying the future Queen of England is a "scrubber". Sarah laughs at this whimsy, but I'm far too contemplative. One would think that an experienced journalist [as Derek is] would realise that the things one picks up in the Sunday [news]papers cannot be believed, and the papers are only fit to wrap ones fish and chips in. Derek seems to be eaten away with mock disgust at the tales of Miss Sheffield's sexual escapades with old-Etonian James Beard, brother of the Countess of Normanton. How do we know that this woman will even marry the prince? And perhaps more importantly, even if she and HRH settle down in wedlock by the time comes for her to be crowned Queen Consort will she have anything to be Queen Consort of? One things for sure, the crown jewels will have gone. The Pakistanis want the Koh-I-Noor diamond back, and it's only a matter of time before the Welsh National party demand the return of the Welsh gold used for generations by members of the Royal Family in wedding rings. Davina really ought to give it serious thought.

Lynne rings at 7.30 to enquire after Maria. She is having a boring time in Bradford and mentioned something about an argument with Peter at Thornton-le-Dale over the weekend. [She's] not too happy really. Arrange to meet on Thursday. Tony rings to see if I want to go out with him and Stuart on Thursday. He mentions something about a change of job in Smith's. Seems as though he got it straight away.

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Monday September 13, 1976

Harry takes me to the bus stop at 8.15 and I bid him farewell until we next meet. Sure has been a good weekend. Feel something like how Richard Burton must feel like after he's been on the bottle for three or four days on end. I shall have to go to some sort of hydro to dry out my pickled liver, or kidneys [indeed which ever organs succumb to pickling after the consumption of vast quantities of alcohol].

Ring Lynne at lunchtime but her boss reminds me she's on a course this week in Bradford. Also ring home: still no developments from Maria. My nephew is four days late now.

Back at home: ring Lynne at Auntie Lilian's at 8.30 but she isn't in. Start watching a Dirk Bogarde film and it's midnight before I think of phoning again. Aunt Lil would probably have a coronary at this time of night.

Continue reading 'The Beatles' by Hunter Davies. Feeling shagged out still.

The Davina Mary Sheffield saga gathers momentum. We [Joe public] should read nothing into this until Buckingham Palace issues a denial. They only issue denials to cover up the truth. I approve of her anyway, even if one reader writing in the EP thinks 'Queen Davina' sounds odd.

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Sunday September 12, 1976

13th after Trinity. Awakened at 12.45pm by the survivors of last night's knees-up. Just time to leap into some clothes and it's back to the Commercial once again for a liquid luncheon. The cast of 'Emmerdale Farm' are still in the carpark and Frazer Hines and the YTV wardrobe man are in the bar. Pissed on stella artois. Talk to Lynn and Sam. Sam is certainly taken with Lynn and he keeps telling me so. Marita & MM come in with a girl but stand at the other end of the pub. Marita comes over and asks about Maria. Joined also by Raymond [Bond] again. He and Carol are going to Rhyll next week and Dad proceeds to give them a run down of the bad points of Welsh life and of the of the Welsh peasants. Since Carnarvon in July 1969 father has harboured a massive loathing for the Welsh people and all they stand for. Home at 2.30. I am sick. All that lager proved too much for me.

Sit chatting about family history with Harry, Sam & Dad. Goings on in the family 50 years ago seem like something from a different world now.

The Sunday papers have decided that Davina Sheffield will be the bride of the Prince of Wales. I'm still in the air about this. No point in discussing it until an engagement is announced. After tea of salad, trifle and cakes we all watch the film 'The Go Between' which isn't particularly a good film. The house is full of drink but I just couldn't touch alcohol at all. Unbelievable I know, but true.

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Saturday September 11, 1976

Go with Harry, Sam, Mum and Dad, Lynn, Sue & Pete to 69 Silverdale Drive. Somewhat chaotic though because John is laying a floor of woodden blocks in his lounge, and poor Uncle H found himself glued to the floor. He was seconds away from becoming a permanent fixture in his nephew's home. Introduce Sam to Maria. He doesn't believe us when we say she's only 18.

Sue and Peter go off somewhere like a pair of love birds and the rest of us trip off down to the Conmmercial in a deluge. The great dramatic actor Frazer Hines is sitting in the bar surrounded by followers, make-up artists and piss artists. Later we see them filming in the carpark. A dour, old local chap in the tap room says 'somebody should bloody well blow up Emmerdale Farm and have done'. Hear, hear. Joined by Anne, Carol [Americans] and Raymond [Bond]. devour beef sandwiches and knock back lager. A chap [telly producer type]chats with Lynn but nothing comes of it.

John and Maria come up at 5.30 for an evening meal. Beautiful food. Down to the Hare at 9. Joined by Tony. CB goes off to Ilkley to meet Martyn. At 10.45 Tony goes up to Horsforth for Mrs Johnson and they go on to Ilkley too. Family comes back to Pine Tops for a continuation of last night's booze-up. Drink until 3am. Uncle H is one of the most humorous men I have ever encountered.

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