20110903

Tuesday October 19, 1976




Three years ago today I was celebrating my last day at school. What an eventful three years have passed since, not only for me as an individual, but for the whole nation. What historic events have occurred? The death of Edward Heath sticks out in my mind as one of the major tragedies. I lost my virginity. Princess Anne lost hers. Princess Margaret let herself go quite daft over Mr Llewellyn. My poor Uncle Jack bit the dust. Maria joined our great family. Mum became a grandmother. Helmut Schmidt became German chancellor. Poor old P.G. Wodehouse passed away. Miss Denise Akroyd was lost at sea some months ago. Oh Shit, I'm going home.

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20110831

Monday October 18, 1976


Bogged down at the YP. Bloody newspapers. Leave at 4.30 feeling whacked and nothing for my labours. However, this subject is too miserable to dwell on.

Mum has a letter from the estate agents announcing that a pub - the Bridge Inn at Ingleton actually - is on the market. The usual family conference was convened, not unreminiscent of the Vietnam peace talks held in Paris. Will report in greater detail tomorrow.

Somehow I cannot help thinking that the enagement of the Prince of Wales and Davina Sheffield is imminent. Two weekends in succession at Balmoral must mean something. Will it be a 28th birthday engagement for HRH on November 14? It would all fit very nicely. Engaged next month, leaves the Royal Navy in December, takes up residence at Chevening in the New Year, married in March, April or May, Silver Jubilee in June. Or is it more complicated than that?

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Sunday October 17, 1976


18th after Trinity. Mum carries on and on about the slight mishap which befell us in the early hours of this morning when Mr David Andrew Baker measured his length on our kitchen floor - and in doing so roused the whole household from its slumbers. She proceeded to go on, and on, all day about how noisy, inconsiderate and selfish I WAS! Yes, it's apparently all my doing that Mr Baker found himself legless and pissed on our kitchen floor. In my attempt to bring the drunkard to his senses I fell victim to the wrath of Mrs Nora Rhodes. Please don't think I'm making myself a martyr here, but criticism must be levied against wrong-doers.

Peter N gives me a lift to the bus stop at 4pm. [Oh yes, Lynne took her leave at 11.30 and after bacon and eggs I attempted to exterminate a honeysuckle bush in the front garden.] So Pete took me for the bus and by 5pm I was at the YP. Work was totally dead and miserable. The news is centred on whether Princess Anne is pregnant or not and of course the Rhodesian peace talks. Home in more rain at 11 o'clock. Bring the record 'Lowdown' by Boz Scaggs home. It's been in my drawer since Friday. A good piece of music too.

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Saturday October 16, 1976

Up at midday. After eggs and bacon Lynne and I go to Gipton Wood Crescent and the home of Mrs Lilian Morris, sister of Mrs Vera Mather, and aunt of Miss Lynne Mather. Entertained until 2pm by Auntie Lilian, who attempts to demolish the respectibility of the entire Mather family, directing several unsavoury adjectives in the direction of the person of her blessed brother-in-law, Mr Donald Lee Mather, father of Lynne, and husband of Vera.

The next port of call is Auntie Mabel until 5 o'clock. She is cheerful and glad of our company and she gives me Uncle Jack's watch. A Sekonda with 17 jewels. I am reluctant to take it but she insists. She bought it for Uncle Jack on their 30th wedding anniversary - just three and a half years ago.

Mabel tells us that Karen [Gadsby] got engaged today and that a brilliant society ball in honour of this event is being held at the Territorial Army Headquarters in Leeds this very night.

Party in Ilkley: Lynne and I travel with Pete & Sue to the Crescent where only Lynn, Dave, Sarah, Marilyn [Wheeler], Tony, Pauline, John Cameron and Stuart are to be seen. I enjoy the party but Lynne loathes it. Dave drinks a whole bottle of 'Clan Dew' and leaves at 2am. Lynn wants to leave, but Judith & Kathryn persuade me to hang on until 3.30. Almost came to blows with a bloke called Fred, who knows Sarah vaguely. He took exception to my singing. Home in Kathryn's car to find David B in a collapsed state outside - nauseating scenes follow and at 4.30am Mama is disturbed. Oh God!!

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Friday October 15, 1976


To [the] Hare & Hounds with Lynne. Only CB is representing the gang tonight, and at 9 o'clock Lynne and I go down to the Red Lion in Burley in Wharfedale and then on to the Black Bull at Otley where we had, Lynne and I that is, our first meeting two years ago this month.

After this minor pub crawl we headed by to the Hare for the last one. Even CB was nowhere to be seen now. However, Tony is hiding at the other end of the room with Lorraine & Mick. He tells us about his leaving ceremony at the W.H.Smith Bradford office last night. It seems that all the participants were reduced to blubbering idiots with the emotion of it all. He came away with a watch, a cigarette lighter and the Koh-i-Noor diamond [or is the Kooh-i-Noor diamond?]

Return to Pine Tops for a session of TV watching. Going on an 'aunt crawl' tomorrow - see you all then.

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20110829

Thursday October 14, 1976



Pouring rain all day again. It's been like this now for three bloody weeks. All I can say is that I hope Denis Howell, MP, picks up this new VD germ from his mistress. Minister for Drought indeed!

Meet Judith R outside the YP at one o'clock. Make a mad, frantic dash under umberellas to the Central [Station] where we sit until 2 o'clock with her doing most of the talking. I like listening to Judith. She tells me just how tactful she was on Tuesday not mentioning today's meeting in the presence of Lynne. I agree. She then tells me I'm going to be her next blackmail victim. I disagree.

Home at 5.15 in pouring rain. Rain, rain and rain. Oh, when will it all end?

Newsworthy things: Dame Edith Evans, the actress of 'Lady Bracknell' fame, is dead. Nothing else at all, so far. [It is only 6.43pm so anything could happen between now and midnight - MLR]. Oh yes, Winnie the Pooh is 50 years old today. Good old Pooh Bear. Royal items: King James II is 343 years old today and Jane Seymour, third wife of Henry VIII, bit the dust on this day in 1537. Miscellaneous anniversaries: Nora Rhodes passed her driving test on this day in 1974.

Meanwhile: 12.23am. To say it's pouring down would be something of an under-estimation. Pissing is the more proper adjective. Goodnight.

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Wednesday October 13, 1976



Leave the YP at 12 and go straight to Burley-in-Wharfedale to see Lynne. Jean is with her for ten minutes or so until she is recalled to the slave labour camp. Have a couple of drinks together. She talks about Christian names and children. She'd like more than one, and I add that one might as well have four or five. More the bloody merrier. I walk her back to Fibre Distributors at 2pm and then catch a bus to Guiseley. Home for 2.30 and spend a couple of hours painting the ruddy staircase again. Cheesed off with the whole bloody lot now. Don't eat until 7 o'clock so by the time I'm served up with the nourishing substance I'm on the verge of starvation.

What's in the news?

Richard Dunn, the Bradford boxer lost at Wembley last night to the Archbishop of Canterbury after only two and a half minutes. Dr Coggan now takes the British and Commonwealth title for the second time.

George Formby is to be canonised.

Ian Smith, the Rhodesian tycoon, is having an affair with Princess Grace of Monaco.

Michael Rhodes is to be certified.

Sir Harold Wilson and Lady Falkender have decided not to get engaged after all.

Lady Doune Ogilvy, Angus's niece, is set to mary Hereward the Wake's grandson. Hereward the Wake, as it happens, was the last [Anglo-Saxon] rebel to stand up against William the Conqueror.

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Sunday April 1, 1984

 4th Sunday in Lent Mothering Sunday New Moon Sunny, bright, &c. Smothering Sunday. All Fool's Day. Busy. Rob came and so too did th...