Wednesday January 1, 1975

Michael Rhodes, 19 years, 8 months and 26 days. Here I am again, everyone. No doubt you're all sick of me, but you'll have a long wait if you think I'm going to pack it in just for your sakes.

The party was a tremendous success. At about 8.30pm last night John, Christine B, Chris and self went to the Hare where we were joined by the mob. Lynn and David, and even Martyn and Alison attended. In keeping with tradition we all went to the Commercial to see the New Year safely in. Mum and Dad are entertaining Ernest* & Edith Blackwell** in the crowded ale house at Esholt, and we draw the conclusion that far more people are out spending money on ale than at the same time last year.

Back to Pine Tops at 12.15 after hearing from Denny that Adrian is 'too poorly' to come. This is the first New Year in three years that Miss Akroyd hasn't attended. Uncle Harry came at about 2am and was stoned as usual. He says he now wants to join the Ulster police. Uncle H in Northern Ireland! That's all they need!

I stood on CB's toe whilst dancing and she lost the nail. Blood pouring everywhere. Not a pretty sight I might add. I felt unusually knackered all night, and Dave Lawson kept saying I looked 'lethargic', which seemed to give him a good deal of pleasure. A spot of bother came when Carol and Christine W attempted both to bed down in my precious sleeping place. David B (yes, I've reverted to the old style) had to step in and take them home at 6am. I went to bed shortly after.

Up at 1pm and sit in front of the TV for eleven hours. Had a good, peaceful time though. Lynn and Dave are going to Scarborough tomorrow. Lucky Devils!


*Ernest Blackwell (born May 16, 1907)
** Edith Hannah Blackwell (born Sept 11, 1909)

-==-

Friday December 13, 1974

Princess Marina, Duchess of Kent, born 1906. Friday the Thirteenth. I'm not saying I'm superstitious in any way, but one must always be careful on these days. Undoubtedly, if being terrified of walking under a ladder is classed among superstitious things I'm the world's leading superstitious person - but to my mind, not walking under a ladder is an inbred thing, and besides, one may as well be on the safe side.

Go to the Hare in Kevin Teale's Bedford van. The place is done out for the coming festivities and Sandra L informs me that she's leaving tonight. Horror of horrors. The place won't be the same without a Lawson behind the bar. In one way or another I am with Sandra for the majority of the evening - leaving the others to their own devices. John goes off with his old school pals to Ilkley, on a whoreing expedition. We, that is Keith, Chris, Carol, Andy, Linda, Dave, Lynn, George, Jane, Christine Dibb and dear Christine White - all go to the Commercial. From this little but comfortable abode we move on to Wikis, where I use one of Dave B's spare cards. Don't really enjoy it, but I am pleased when Kevin Teale offers me £25 for my suit. Hell, it only rushed me £25 in May, so if he buys it I will have had seven months wear out of it for no cost at all. Perhaps he was a bit pissed, but I was flattered all the same to think that somebody wanted the clothes I was stood up in.

-==-

Wednesday December 4, 1974

Back to work. Not a very cheerful day. Kathleen says I can leave pictures for good after the weekend and move in with Sarah on cuttings -very cosy I should think.

Celebrate Carol Smith's birthday at the Hare & Hounds. Denny comes too which is a lovely little surprise. Carol gets quite intoxicated because everyone bought her drinks until closing time. I wear my old cheese-cloth shirt which Sarah has dyed a nice brown colour for me, and a blue and white 'Gatsby' style jacket. Denny and I sit listlessly by the juke box and have little do with the others. She tells me mouth-watering tales about______and we talk about a possible weekend orgy in a London hotel, &c.

Home with Chris at 11 where we have a birthday kissing session outside in the cold, wintry night air. Christine White had her share of 'snogs' (a quaint word) too. Mum is sitting in bed going on and on about the patchouli oil. Will it ever end.

-==-

Friday November 22, 1974

At lunchtime I go into town and purchase a Metro Card for £5. This gives me access to the buses until December 21, and I should save a pound or two in the process.

See from further reports that 19 people died in Birmingham yesterday. Several anti-Irish attacks have been launched throughout the country, but nothing too serious. Our beloved Home Secretary, Roy Jenkins, promises new legislation to deal with these terrorists and many MPs want to see the re-introduction of the death penalty. I don't think for one moment that the feeble Labour government will do anything to appease society in any way, and poor Lord Hailsham can talk himself blue in the face about all this being 'treason', but Uncle 'Woy' won't be led from his weak, spineless, narrow little path.

Go to the Hare & Hounds and then the Commercial. Everyone agrees that Christine White is a changed person since she started this liaison with that bloke from York, and I for one quite fancy her these days. All back here to see Peter Cushing in a Frankenstein movie. Laura sat in her coat all night, which amused Mum, and Carol tried to make life difficult for Lynn & Dave.

-==-

Friday November 15, 1974

Quite busy at the YP. Mrs Collis rings in the morning to say Sarah is ill in bed. My delightful Sarah unwell!
Later: Have a fantastic time in the Commercial after starting off at the Hare & Hounds of course. Lynn and Dave, Carol, Phyllis Whitethighs, Keith, John and myself all stood in a bundle near the bar, laughing and joking. Phyllis kept saying it was her 19th birthday. I kissed her that number of times on the lips, and so did Keith, but he really did believe it was her birthday, so he's got some excuse at least. I drink campari and lager until we get to Wikis when I switch to bitter, which is quite putrifying. Very boring at Wikis, and I'm sick of seeing ______trying to grab all she can get in the idiotic stupor she's regularly in these days. To avoid the hideousness of drunken females I switched tables and sat until 2am with little Helen Willis, and three other unknown couples. Gillian Barker was of course near at hand. At 2 I escorted Helen to the door, but conveniently having no coat I am unable to walk her home. It's a cold night and I obtain a lift with John - Christine Dibb occupying the back seat. John and I argue about drinks on our arrival home and we wake Mama from her slumbers. She's not at all pleased by our disturbing conversation. Bed at 2.30.

-==-

Saturday October 26, 1974

Lynn has the usual horrid task of getting me up at 7 o'clock. I go through the usual rigmarole of refusing all food, and laying helplessly on the dining room floor. Get the bus after 8 and arrive at the YP before 9.

See in the paper that Lord Ulster continues to be a cause for concern. He'd have died by now if anything terrible was going to happen at all. Sarah and Carol say he isn't going to survive, but I completely disagree.

Intend leaving at 12, but Nigel, who used to work in the Library, comes in and keeps us talking until after 12.30. Don't get in for lunch until nearly 2.

Pork and apple sauce is awaiting my inspection. John begins decorating the kitchen ceiling & the record player sings merrily to us all from the dining room. Can't think of anything worth doing this afternoon so I suppose I'll have to read quietly in a corner. However, at 3 I decide to go for a lay down in order to make me fit for the oncoming onslaught of tonight.

Sleep for 3 and half hours and John wakes me at 6.30. In my half dazed mind I thought I had slept through until 6.30am - relieved to discover otherwise. John goes off with Carol, Linda and Andy, probably to the Hare & Hounds.

Chris picks me up at 9 and we both go the Hare, where Lynne and Peter M have been waiting for half an hour. Lynne and I drift into a corner near the juke box. John and Andy sing along to the records in a drunken fashion.
Talking with Linda I hear that Phyllis Whitethighs and her boyfriend from York are too serious to describe. She even hinted that it may even mean a Christmas engagement. Chris was stunned when I disclosed this secret to him. Peter, Chris, dearest Lynne, and me move on to the Commercial where I see the chap who went out with Diane Rushworth whilst I had my affair with Helen Taylor. We were ages in remembering where we'd seen each other before. Peter takes Lynne home at 10.30. Chris comes home for coffee.

-==-

Tuesday October 22, 1974

When we were in Windsor, Denny confided in me that 'the gang' would begin to dissolve within a couple of months of our return. That was said in mid-September, and now I do believe her prophecy is coming true. No longer can 'the gang' be seen each weekend in the Hare & Hounds, and gone is the familiar chink of beer glasses, rising above the drunken laughter in the smoke-filled grotto at Wikis. Phyllis Whitethighs is deeply in love with a 'shady' character from York; John is involved (as you are aware) with Carol; then Andy is with Linda; Chris is in a deep financial mess at the moment and won't probably be back on his 'drinking' feet until the New Year. Poor Marita loves MM and refuses to associate with any of us; and Denny hates the idea of me going out with Lynne and doesn't want to associate with me at the moment. So it's all coming true. The happy family is no more. It may re-assemble when we all tire of our lovers but until that day comes the Hare & Hounds will never be the same again.

-==-

Monday October 21, 1974

Nothing to report today. Saw TV all night, and I was joined in this enthralling entertainment by John and Carol. Poor Miss Smith _______________.I can really hear the gentle clatter of wedding bells this time. Admittedly, I also heard the jingle when Miss Phyllis Whitethighs was in the running, but they (the bells) were not half as loud as the ones which ring in my ears at this moment in times. Poor old girl. She is obviously unaware of the real character of my dear brother, otherwise she'd have emigrated to the Belgian Congo many weeks ago.

-=-

Friday October 11, 1974

Back at the YP as usual. Surprised that Harold (Wilson) will not be seeing the Queen, who is still at Balmoral, to accept her invitation to form a government. But really, I suppose he has been Prime Minister throughout, and it would have only been necessary for him to see the Queen had he been defeated. HM must have been quite confident of a Labour victory because no plans were laid, or any attempt made, for her to return to London.

Go to Otley at 8, and meet Lynne (Mather) at half past. Acutely cold evening and we go into the pub close to the Victoria Memorial Clock. Stay till 10.30. Lynne is a very nice girl, though she reminds of June in many ways, & doesn't like going out in a crowd, which is unfortunate really. At 11, after seeing her safely onto a bus, I go to Wikis, where all the mob except Chris and Phyllis Whitethighs are assembled. Even Laura and Philip Cartwright. Get quite fresh.

See Sarah whos says her hair-do cost her £8 at Vidal Sassoons in Leeds! Bloody madness. John and Carol bump into Dave Slater and he proceeds to buy bottles of champagne and Bacardi, &c. Naturally, John and Carol become quite intoxicated. Dave Slater was already pissed up to the eye balls. We decide to come back to Pine Tops, and Dave drives me in the Bentley - a memorable journey to be sure. Sit till after 3.30.

--==--

Saturday September 28, 1974

John's party. The social turn-out of the season, equalled only by Royal Ascot and Princess Margaret's monthly orgies at Kensington Palace. Everyone that meant anything came, and herein is the list:-
Lynn Rhodes
Susan Rhodes
Alison Dixon
Jackie Myers
Christine Dibb
dear Laura
Christine Whitethighs (Phyllis)
Carol Smith
Linda Smith
Denise Akroyd
Christopher Ratcliffe
Andy Graham
Ray?
Peter Mather
Martyn Cole
David Baker
Keith Brown
Peter Nason, &c.

Jackie came at about 6.30 and we went to the Hare at 8. Chris was being his usual over-jovial self, and Denny looked stunning in a rather plain, yet attractive Hartnell creation. Ray (Bond?) and Dave Baker came too, and we move on to the Commercial which is packed to the hilt like the Social Security office on pay day. See Keith, &c and remind him about the party. Home at 11 after Papa had purchased several pints of ale for me. Everyone arrives by 11.30 though Dave Lawson never actually turned up. Didn't drink much in excess, though Auntie Hilda's home brewed parsnip wine knocked the top off my sober self. Harry Monkman did his usual party piece. Alison and I went round at about 1am and poured water through his letter-box, which in the colder soberness of Sunday morning still seems very funny. My sense of humour is one of the mosr regal aspects of my character. After all, King Edward VII and King George VI both had this boy-like humour which remained with them until they end of their days, and so do I. Danced until 4.30 on Sunday morning. Curtains have fallen on the romance between Lynn and Ronnie, and I did keep getting a glimpse of her at the side of good old Dave Baker, who's always had an affectionate bond with her. I expected getting a bed but found Andy and Linda in mine when I drifted up at 4.30am. Ended up in the lounge sprawled between two chairs. Chris was on the floor in a sleeping bag, and Lynn and Jackie shared the settee. Most people went home, even Denny. Throughout the whole evening Mum and Dad were the ultimate in fun and kindness & it completely destroys the theory about generation gaps, &c. Hate parties coming to end, it's abominable.

-==--

Wednesday September 25, 1974

John's 18th birthday. Don't see him before leaving for the YP but at 12 (it's my half day) we all meet in the Generation Bar beneath the Jubilee. Christine Phyllis Whitethighs, Denny, Chris, and one of Phyllis's friends. Spend about an hour drinking here, before Denny, Chris, the birthday boy and myself move on to the Emmotts, which is in the midst of being decorated at the moment and looks better without that awful purple, flock wallpaper. After pie and peas and cinzanos in the E. we go back to Denny's where John feels rather faint and finds it necessary to go lay down upstairs. The remaining three of us watch a repeat of Galsworthy's 'Forsyte Saga' part one, first shown in 1967. It was good but seemed very dated. Home for tea and see all the hilarious birthday cards lined up. One from Andy was intended for an 8-year-old girl, and Dave L sent a card 'Birthday Wishes Today You are 2'. I stayed in tonight, whilst John went to the Hare with Carol, Chris and a few others - even Laura turned up.

 At 9.30 MM came to see me. I was most surprised, though I expected to see him sometime this week before his departure to Sheffield on Monday. He gave me his address, &c. John and Chris came back for coffee and we all sat about until 11. Came to bed and looked at Dad's police magazines & see the article I had published in the issue of Sept 1972. Quite funny.

-==-

Saturday September 21, 1974

Cold, rainy and miserable day. Up at 10 feeling better after last night's attack of stomach pains which both John and I credited to the Advocaat we consumed before dinner yesterday.

At 11 John and Hugo go to Ascot to see a man about a swimming pool, and we prepare to leave for home. At 11.30 Sheila accompanies Denny and I to the bus stop opposite the castle, and we bid our farewells before getting the London coach half an hour later. Denny had a little weep as we left, passing the castle with the Union Jack hanging limply in the drizzle. The both of us sat quietly on the coach, and I glanced at 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' by C.S. Lewis, which is a remarkable little book probably intended for 10-year-olds but who cares?

Don't leave London until 2.30. Bradford at 7pm after a half hour stop at Leicester. Denny and I part arranging to meet in the Hare and Hounds at about 8. Home by 7.30 and John helped me home with my case after spotting me alighting from the bus.

Dad looks much older after seeing Uncle John for a few days. They look so much alike but Papa does look more elderly.

To the Hare. Everyone arrives except Dave L who isn't coming out until tomorrow night. My stomach ache returns and I don't really feel like supping cold ale, and I switch to rum and orange, purely for medicinal purposes, and it certainly warms my interior. Move to the Malt Shovel in Menston where we stay until 10.30. Glad that John and Carol are going out together again. I say 'again' but the only time they've been out before was at Jackie's 18th. Come back to Pine Tops. Chris, Phyllis Whitethighs, John and Carol and watch a boring James Mason film until after 1. John's car breaks down on his return from taking the mob home and Papa isn't very pleased about getting up at 2am.

-==-

Friday September 13, 1974

Last day at the YP before Windsor. Janice leaves today. Thank the Lord she is gone.

Go to the Hare and Hounds in the evening where we see the photographs of our Grassington weekend which Dave B's had developed so soon. Dave Lawson is also a member of the party and it's the first time I've seen him since last weekend._______.Mum and Dad join us for a drink and we bid farewell to them because when we get in tonight it will be too late to make any farewells of any kind. Dave, Chris, John, Denny, Carol, Phyllis Whitethighs, &c, go to the Tudor Bar at Burley-in-Wharfedale. Good laugh is had by all.

On to Wikis, all except Dave L who refuses to patronise the place, though he promises to come on Friday September 27. Home at 2 after a thrilling evening. I think that John and Carol are going out again, but you know what the "happy family" are like. Far too much of this 'here today, gone tomorrow' attitude. I think John and Carol make an attractive couple.


-==-

Sunday September 8, 1974

Wake up snug as a bug in a rug at 10.30. A wasp settles in Dave L's hair, and the hilarity caused by Pete spraying Dave's curly mop with fly-killer will be remembered long after the events of the weekend have passed into oblivion.

Hear on the news over toast and marmalade that Harold Wilson is with the Queen at Balmoral no doubt discussing election dates and tactics. October 3 or 10 seems to be the likely choice but nobody knows which one it is other than Harold, Her Majesty and Mrs Wilson (surely he passes on these little secrets to his dear wife?).

Dave L and I go with a camera for a tramp over the moors, taking hurried shots of sheep and large fungi plants feeding off the bark of rotten trees.

Very nice afternoon and the first nice weather we've had all weekend. Dave Lawson is a great chap. I've known him since 1967 and he's never changed one iota since that time - he has physically and mentally of course - but as far as outlook, humour and general appearance - not at all. One thing's for certain. I get on with no one better than Dave, never have done.

Back from the moors at 6.15. Sit cooling feet and sipping hot tea until the end of 'Pick of the Pops' at 7 - when we have a mad half hour with the camera. Back to the pub in Linton. Fruit machines too. Dave L, Dave B, Phyllis Whitethighs and I form a syndicate on the fruit machine and manage to lose £2 between us. All heartbroken. Leave for home at about 10.15.

Back before 11. Mum and Dad are at Pudsey but I wait up for them, eating steak until 12. See the newspapers for the first time since Friday. Fantastic weekend.

-==-

Saturday September 7, 1974

As I've already said, we were attacked by savage wasps whilst listening to the Ed Stewart Show. Fortunately, Chris found some fly killer in the caravan and we managed to keep them off us whilst we got dressed.

Make breakfast much to the disgust of Linda, who wanted an extra 10 minutes in bed with Andy. Chris takes the three of us into Grassington for the afternoon, where the torrential rain lashed down upo us.

Buy several necessities of food, like cocktail cherries, and manadarin oranges. Also buy on impulse, a large feather duster - don't ask me why.

Go into a pub for lunch and meet a bloke who dwells at Rawdon, who was far too familiar with us for comfort - even going so far of offer us beds in his caravan if the weather continues to worsen. Andy labelled him a queer from the start, but I just think he was being slightly over-friendly.

Stagger round the camp-site in a gale force wind, glass of martini in one hand, trying to secure the tent, which unfortunately rips open in a sudden surge of wind. The destroyed tent renders us homeless for the night. Peter offers us all beds in the caravan which we gratefully accept (good of him I'm sure). Back on a pub-crawl again where I fall foul to the lure of fruit machines which Dave Lawson introduced me to. Good evening & then back to the caravan feeling full of cold, no doubt caught off Chris. Everyone in the caravan except Andy, Linda, Ray and Gill. Carol Smith and Christine Whitethighs get drunk and fight like cats in the night.

-==-

Wednesday August 21, 1974

Yes, my eye is much better this morning, thank you. Bright, clear day. Both Phyllis Whitethighs and Her Royal Highness The Princess Margaret celebrate birthdays today.

To the Hare & Hounds at 8.15 with Lynn and John. Lynn wears her new Marilyn Monroe-style pullover. All the crowd are within by 8.30. I go home with David B to collect some records which he lent me when we were at his place two weeks ago, then we come back to the Hare. Denny brings me a new single 'Queen of Clubs' by KC and the Sunshine Band and lends me a James Brown LP. MM and Marita come in and ____. Denny seeks refuge in the charms of Graham Pease, who takes her to distant places. Don't really know why Denny and ____.

Phyllis drinks approximately ten shorts before landing flat on her face in the Hare's car park. A frantic departure and Andy, Linda, Carol and Phyllis go home - the remainder coming back to Pine Tops for a coffee. David B is quite attached to Lynn and I harbour secret hopes of a future romance. Bed at midnight. Good day really.

--==--

Monday August 19, 1974

After the weekend I will never again _________.Wake at 7.30. YP very interesting. Carol, Sarah and I decide to go out for a drink one lunchime later in the week, and decide to make a regular habit of it. Believe it or not, I am now attracted to Sarah more than ever and can forsee the possibility of a future relationship.

File some pictures of the Duchess of Gloucester and decide once and for all that she is now the sex symbol of the Royal Family. Of course, most Danes are fair haired and pretty. That Prince Richard certainly knew what he was doing when he got her down the aisle.

Home at 6. Sit listening to 'Gypsy Man' by War whilst eating a salad, trying to avoid the arguing of John and Mama in the lounge - quarrellng over the serious business of buying and selling cars.

I must remember to buy Phyllis Whitethighs a birthday card for Wednesday August 21. Lynn is to accompany the mob to the Hare to join in the festivities of this joyous occasion - should be fun.

See TV all evening including a programme about the history of the Labour party which was very interesting. See on the news that the U.S. ambassador to Cyprus was assassinated in Nicosia last night. A sticky international situation may well arise from this atrocity. No one rings me by 9 o'clock and I give up hope of outside contact tonight.

-==--

Saturday August 10, 1974

Mum gets John and I up at 7.30. To the YP for 9. Pleasant morning at work. I file a lot on President Ford and poor old Nixon.

Darling Denny rings me at about 10.30 enquiring about tonight's arrangemnts for the Scarborough trip. I ask her what she feels like this morning, being drunk last night, and she informs me that Peter Mather look he back to his place until nearly 5am. We laugh. Finish work by 11.30 and come straight home. Lunch with __ and laugh at the holiday photographs which the girls took in Spain. Poor Susan spent £5 having 40 of them developed.

See in the Airedale & Wharfedale Observer that Barbara Woodhead married last weekend. God Bless her. My favourite girlfriend is off the market, and I do suppose that type of female has now gone into complete extinction.

John and I go to the White Swan in Yeadon at 6.15, where Denny, Chris and Pete soon follow. Sit until almost 7 without seeing anyone we know. All the crowd are dressed in casual jeans and things and we feel rather stupid, Chris, Denny, John and Pete and I that is , being garbed in our Buckingham Palace garden party type outfits. On coach at 7.10 and leave for Scarbrough, which seems too far away to go just for an evening. On our arrival everyone goes to the pub except Denny and I who go find a fish and chip shop in the backstreets.At 10.20, having had nothing to drink at all, we go to the Penthouse Disco, which is the roughest place I've ever been to and even Denny says she will never criticise Wikis again. However, they play some fantastic music and we manage to enjoy ourselves without consuming any vast quantity of ale or spirits at all (see next page). Denny and I go for a walk on the beach at about 1.30am and we are forced to return quite early due to the drizzle which soaks us thoroughly. The walk certainly brought Denny from her semi-coma, and we were quite cheerful when we arrived back a the Penthouse. The others joined us at 2am in a shop doorway here we sheltered from the rain. Phyllis Whitethighs (our new name for Christine W) was an absolute bore all evening and shouldn't have bothered coming in that kind of mood. Coach at 2.30am - home by 5am. Terrible cramp in my stomach and no sleep until 7am.

-==-

Sunday July 28, 1974

7th after Trinity. Nice lunch at 1. See 'African Queen' on tv in the afternoon - Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. Denny rings at about 5.______________________________.

David went out with Denny, MM, and Marita last night - if I'd have thought about it I'd have asked him, David that is, to accompany us to the Stansfield. Ring Dave at about 8 and he says he can't come out tonight because of a shocking cold.

Go to the Commercial where John and I meet the two Americans, Anne and Carol. Peter takes Anne and John takes the other. MM and Marita bring Denny, and Mum, Dad, Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony come shortly after. Tremendous evening. Auntie H is a brilliant success really. MM and Marita decide to come with Denny and I to Spain. Me and Den. are going to Marita's on Monday evening to decide the colour scheme for her bedroom. My painting 'Seascape, 1970' is to be the central feature. I'm quite proud. Chris, who I haven't seen much of, along with Christine W and Carol Smith come back for coffee, Bacardi, Martini, etc. Uncle Tony drinks out of the Spanish wine thing brought back from Malgrat. Hilarious night. Go to my bedroom at 1 and sit re-styling the whole place in my mind. Sit in bed waiting for John to come to bed (It's an old tradition that I am always the last to be awake at night). Seeing Marita earlier and discussing decorating with her has given me the urge to re-do my room. The main problem wit this room is the size, which is ridiculously small, and sharing with a younger brother cannot make matters any better. I decide to go Victorian. Glance at Queen Mary and at 2.30 call it a day and switch off the light.

-==-

Tuesday July 23, 1974

Bloody awful day. Sleep in until nearly 10am. Ring Kathleen and take a half-day today and go in at 2. Sick of the YP.

Home at 6. Mum and Dad criticise the painting. John rings everyone to to select a suitable pub for tonight's drinking excursion. We go down to the Hare and Hounds where Carol, Linda and Christine later join us - not forgetting Chris. Quite a good evening. We all pull Peter Mather to pieces and decide, in his absence, that it was about time he was either a) married, or b) living in sin with some sexy woman. All pile in the Ratcliffe bus at 10.45 and home within minutes.

See 'The Royal Show' etc, and knock back a few pernods. Bed after 12.

-=-