Friday July 13, 1979

_. Friday the Thirteenth. I think Ally is going home to Itchen Abbas for the weekend.

To my favourite beach - Cala Conta. On sunbeds eating coconut and cherries and trying not to stare too hard at the naked bodies.

We met some girls from Nottingham, and tonight Dave and I took two - Anne and Lorraine - out on the town. Went to the OK Coral and the Project Bar and Es Paradis.

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Thursday July 12, 1979

_. The beach party. We went to Cala Moli, and not the usual Tarida. These parties are obviously doomed. Made friends with a party of Swedes who gave me a lump of tobacco to insert under my top lip. ___ Messy.

Cala Moli is a nauseating little beach. Covered in rocks and gravel and most unsuitable for sunbathing or swimming. Rick organised juvenile games such as passing the peseta, and finding the cucumber. I steered well clear.

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Wednesday July 11, 1979

_. Stayed at the Galfi pool. The flies are troublesome and drive me stupid. Ate over the road at Es Muli (?) - onion soup, and cannelloni, &c. This half-board is splendid. Eating when one wants to eat and not at the sound of a hotel gong.

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Tuesday July 10, 1979

_. Travellers cheques are such a good idea. Why haven't I used them before?

To Cala Bassa. Beautiful girls and hundreds of coloured umbrellas. You have to see the ocean here to fully appreciate the beauty of it. Only Lord Byron, and perhaps Pam Ayres, could describe it adequately.

Back at the Galfi we ate at a local bar. I did not enjoy my runny omelette. It resembled the 1966 Abervan disaster, only it was yellow. All sludgy and sloppy. Purchased a couple of bottles of cheap wine (70 pstas each) and it must have gone straight to Garry's head for when the battery of his camera failed he made his way to his balcony and lobbed it into the field where the goats gathered. "It let me down" --- Oh I did laugh.

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Monday July 9, 1979

_. Woke up, which wasn't easy. To Cala Tarida on the ferry. Billy enjoyed the trip. Buildings are going up everywhere on the hills around Tarida where only pine trees and shrubs could be seen three years ago. Beautiful though. The topless ladies are as numerous as the new buildings.

To the OK Coral for pizza tonight and the endless round of bars. El Capone is now a ghastly bar. The Project Bar (formerly the Pavement Bar) is now our favourite boozer. Prices are no different to last year.

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Sunday July 8, 1979

_.Went to the airport, just a few miles away, who took £8 each from the four of us. I snoozed all the way. We were due to fly at 8:15 but the flight was delayed until 10:30.

To the Hotel Galfi in San Antonio where the manager looks like someone from a 1950s epic about the Spanish Armada. You know the type. Philip II's devious ambassador to the court of Queen Elizabeth I. His wife, hereafter called Madam Commandant, is German and resembles something like Eva Braun with a hint of Cruela de Vil.

To the beach, baring our white, purulent flesh. Rick spots us almost immediately and makes out that all is well, when it is obvious that he is on a downward, slippery slope. We can, he says, go on one of his confounded beach parties at a reduced price of 500 pesetas.

To Tony's Bar for chicken. Out in the "west end" tonight. How wonderful it is. Drank Pernod. Spewed up back at the Galfi.

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Saturday July 7, 1979

_. To the YP from 8:30 to 1:30. Ally drove me to Leeds with my luggage and a hangover. It was so very good of her. I wish she could have climbed into my suitcase and come along too.

Took a train to Stockport and got there at about 4pm. Dave G was in holiday mood and raring to go. I can never see us going anywhere but to San Antonio. And to think I laugh at people who holiday in Blackpool year after year.

Went at 5pm to collect Garry with his permed hair and shy aspect. Joined by Billy, Neil and Steve. We went to Didsbury (Steak Kebabs?) and for one of the nicest dinners of my dining-out life. My T-bone was succulent. Back to the Hollywood until about 4am. The lads played pool whilst I sat smoking with Jim and Lily. Billy is going to be absolutely fatal.

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Friday July 6, 1979

_.Out tonight to the Hare and Hounds with Mum, Dad, Sue, Pete, Ally, Lynn and Dave. When was the last time we had such a meeting in a public house? Probably Lynn's birthday at the Coniston back in March.

Judith R was floating around with a new hairstyle and acting like Marie Antoinette & refusing to acknowledge my frantic gyrations and yells. Obviously, her new found position (as the pub landlady) renders it impossible for her to converse with her former acquaintances. Tim must be the jealous type. Mum told him to have a juke-box installed and he bleated some excuse. Judith seems to like the Mike Sammes Singers going round on a musical loop.

Lynn looked pale and showed some strain. Back home I went to bed leaving Lynn and Mama having a weep together.

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Thursday July 5, 1979

_. Quiet day at the YP and at home. I packed a few things into my suitcase in readiness (for the holiday), but feel a definite lack of enthusiasm. I put it down to the fact that nobody else is going from this end. I bet the excitement in Stockport is gripping them all. I suppose the thrill of the Ibiza '79 expedition will sink in on Saturday afternoon when we all get together.

I won't be meeting Miss Catherine Rhodes until after my holiday when she'll be a month old. I met JPH on the very day that he made his entrance into the world, and shall never forget that bundle of tranquillity. There is something magical about new born babies. No doubt some people have other ideas.

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Wednesday July 4, 1979

_. Independence Day, USA.

Praise be to God. I've found my fountain pen. June bought it for me in April, 1973, and I've used it every day since. That was until I mislaid it last week.

What can have befallen the sweet June Bottomley? She became engaged to a large, flabby accountant and has probably disappeared into Shadwell and obscurity with two delightful children and a £9,500 mortgage. No doubt they have a caravan and go whenever possible to the Lake District. June will be dabbling in French at night school and attempting dressmaking because children's clothes are such a price these days, aren't they? And Horace, the husband, whatever his name is, will smoke ready rubbed tobacco, wear baggy Arran sweaters. Early in the relationship he bought a few Pink Floyd LPs but now he's into James Last and his Orchestra. "Oh, we saw him live in Manchester last Christmas. He's absolutely fantastic...."

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Tuesday July 3, 1979

_. Had little or no conversation at work and escaped at 4:30. Tonight Ally, Sue, Pete and I went to Burley with a large bunch of flowers for Lynn. Audrey and Henry Baker were there. Lynn has been told not to try for another baby for at least six months. She flustered about making coffee ignoring commands to 'sit down Lynn'.

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Monday July 2, 1979

_. Phoned Auntie Hilda and Auntie Mabel. Mum, Dad and Maria came in a 3pm. Mum, very tanned, sat in silence listening to all the details, and then phoned David, burst into tears, and soaked a couple of large handkerchiefs.

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Sunday July 1, 1979

_. 3rdSunday after Trinity. Dominion Day, Canada.

A nightmare of a day. Poor Lynn lost her baby this evening, and to say we are all distraught is an understatement.

This morning Ally and I went to Chippy's to collect our records and afterwards went on to Burley where Lynn and Dave were looking after JPH for the day. We took JPH to the park for an hour.

Lynn was clearly unwell. An ambulance came, lights flashing, and took her and Dave off to Airedale (Hospital) and we heard nothing more until Dave phoned at 9:45 pm asking for a lift. Pete took Sue, Ally and I to the hospital where we collected a distraught David. He told us the worst.

Back at home we phoned Dad, now in Scotland. He was stunned,

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Saturday June 30, 1979

_. Chippy's 21st birthday part at 2, Walker Road, Menston. I'd done nothing all day but collect my air tickets from Smiths. We ate fish and chips in the restaurant at Harry Ramsden's.

We met at the Shoulder and went to Chippy's at 9pm. Ally was out of it but soon perked up with the punch. We stood with Chris Baker and Julie Harris all night. Tetley's hand pumped bitter from a barrel in the garage was a success. The proceedings were marred somewhat when a dispute flared up between Mrs Ash and Dave Sanderson, Pete's cousin. A street brawl followed and the Nason contingent withdrew from the festivities. __________. It did not deter us from  staying until the cold, ghastly dawn.

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Friday June 29, 1979

_. Ally and I were quite unfit for work and decided to forgo our daily labours and stayed between the sheets. Susan was displeased, not with our decision but at being disturbed in the small hours. I fell back to sleep to be awakened at 9:30 by Sarah C on the telephone. I told that I could not possibly get into the office today. She slammed down the phone saying I was impossible and it was about time I grew up. Goodbye Sarah.

Slept all day. Delia phoned and laughed about her daughter. Up at 6:30pm. Peter was watching Wimbledon. We stayed home until 10 and then went down to the White Cross. We intended coming home at a reasonable hour but Helen Scott's party lured, and Ally and I went to Hyde Park (Leeds) and drank gallons of wine, which I simply couldn't keep down. Vomit and 3am and back to Guiseley. It was a weird party.

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Thursday June 28, 1979

_. A drunken session. Ally and I had an evening meal together and then watched TV. Sue was at Janet Simon's and so we were alone. I arranged to go out with Pete & Chippy. Ally wanted an early night. Pete arrived from a drunken afternoon session, fell into a drunken heap on the sofa, and snored through 'Top of the Pops'. Chippy and Dave W rolled in at 8:30, and we left Pete asleep, and went to the Shoulder for the night. Joined by Flu, Sean, John Sumpton, &c. Chippy was so pissed that when a Labrador dog walked across the pub car park in insisted it was an 'Albrador'. Either a cross between a Labrador and an Alsatian or an Albatross.  Afterwards we went to Oakwood in the usual alcoholic cloud of lusty, coarse energy that sweeps over the metropolis on Thursday nights. Met Sarah (not Collis) and we drank Campari and soda together for what might be our last meeting. She says she's going off to Liverpool next week and may never return. Obviously, people seldom return from Liverpool once trapped there. Never make the mistake of venturing to Merseyside. The natives of that primitive place are cannibalistic, so I've heard. I planted a long lingering kiss upon her lips and left her for ever. Home to Pine Tops with Chippy and Flu. (It was Chippy's birthday yesterday).

Ally had the stereo bashing out tuneful ballads. Susan was upstairs with the Lone Ranger, and we saw nothing at all. Flu and I smoked like chimneys. We had fun with an exploding bottle of ginger beer. Susan peeped from her bedroom window and reminded us that small, red-faced children slept only feet away next door. At dawn Ally drove Chippy and Flu to Menston in Peter's car and then she returned and we crashed out upon my bed.

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Wednesday June 27, 1979

_. Catherine's birth announcement was in the YP. Molly flew to Stranraer on Saturday. ____________.

Tonight Ally, Sue, Pete and I went to inspect a house on Victoria Road which is selling for £9,000. Afterwards, with our lungs full of damp and mildew, we had a quick drink at the Station on Henshaw Lane and then returned home via the fish and chip shop for me, and the Chinese take-away for them. Ate like pigs. I really should stick to a diet where I do not exceed 12 stones because Cyril Smith, MP is hardly a cult figure.

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Tuesday June 26, 1979

_.I phoned Auntie Mabel to tell the news about Catherine's birth.

Tonight JPH came to tea and stayed until 8:30. He refused to touch his fish fingers and chips, and only wanted biscuits and could hardly contain himself when he eventually had his way. His little head peeping over the table with his cheeks bulging. Afterwards he played football in the garden, and filled his toy digger with soil. We went over to the park and did a circular tour. I pointed out a large, fat blackbird, and he asked: "should we kill him?" Ally and I took him back to Ridgeway and then went on to Lynn and David's to get a run down on Christine & Graham's wedding. ___________.

Ally and I returned from Burley entertained, but under the impression that nobody is without criticism tonight. Lynn complained about everyone and everything. I, according to my sisters, have no feelings whatsoever. Bless her.

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Monday June 25, 1979

_. After the YP I went over to Carol J's house of ill-repute for three hours of wallpaper hanging in her bathroom. More or less finishing off the work I started in March. The tatty, smelly flat is filled with our feline playmates of the cat variety. Four of them in fact. The place resembles a low class safari park. Home at 9.

I am staggered at the cheek of Mr Eamonn Burke. He phoned Sarah to ask for Ally's phone number in Bradford, and then asked for my home phone number. He cannot now fit Ally into his diary for this week. ___________.

Sunday June 24, 1979

To bed at breakfast time. Slept until I was rudely awakened by the phone at 2pm. Unfortunately I couldn't get to pick up in time and so the identity of the caller remains a mystery. Both Ally and I are hideously hung over and in no fit state to receive visitors, but this is what is inflicted upon us in the shape of Martyn and Therese. He brought my ring back, now embellished with one solitary garnet for which I paid him £5. __________. It was a very uncomfortable visit. The blinding pain in my head didn't help. I wanted some Anadin pills, but the child lock on the bottle got the better of me.

John phoned. He says the baby looks like a Macdonald, has long legs, and no eye brows. She is to be called Catherine Elizabeth Mary. Maria's Mum, Molly, is really Mary Catherine, and Maria's sister is Elizabeth, and so there you have the connection. Jim and Molly have travelled up to Dumfries, taking JPH with them.

At 10:15 Maria phoned me from her hospital bed. She chatted for a while and sounded fine. She told Sue that she wants to be back in Stranraer next week. To bed at 1am after seeing a Peter Lorre film from 1930 about a Berlin child-killer. Quite boring really. Ally is quite adamant that she's going out with Eammon Burke on Tuesday. I am bloody furious.

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Saturday June 23, 1979

John phoned and woke us at 10am with the news that Maria had given birth to a baby girl at 6:30 this morning. Both are well. The little mite weighed in at four and a half pounds. He was very tired and overjoyed. I have a tiny, little niece!

Phoned Auntie Hilda who says she is going out to buy pink wool. I tried to speak to Auntie Mabel but got no response.

A wet thundery day. Mum and Dad phoned at lunchtime. I exclaimed: "Well, hello, granddad". He was so excited and had no idea the baby had arrived. "Come on then, which is it?" Mum was thrilled but so frustrated to be down in Devon.

Sue and Pete went out at 8:30 and at 9 Ally and I went to the New Inn at Headingley, and then the Regent at Chapel Allerton. Jacq was in the Regent with her new fellow house mate and Sarah was with Richard Burke, Carol J and Marilyn Wheeler, &c. We went back to Jacq's where I spoke to Cheryl up from London. She began lecturing me about relationships and asked me not to be put off by her, or afraid of her! ____________. By about 4am things got a bit silly and Jacq poured beer all over me. _____________. Paul calmed us down and the dance music on the record player was replaced by Debussy's Clair De Lune, the 'Wedding March' by Mendelsohn, and the bloody Elizabethan Serenade for Chrissake. Eammon Burke was chatting up Ally and invited her out next Tuesday. He told her that her brown eyes were the most beautiful he'd ever seen. Pass the sick bag.

The sun was shining brilliantly by 8am, and we were still drinking. Paul, Jacq, Ally and I were discussing something now lost in the mist of alcohol. A neighbour, clad in the regalia of a bus conductor, came over and told us to keep the noise down. Perhaps he'd been watching us with binoculars. I had now changed into a 'House of Holroyd' shirt because my own clothes had been destroyed by Jacq's fury. She went up to bed and Ally and I drove home.

Friday June 22, 1979

Out with Ally, Sue and Pete to the Crown at Yeadon, the Dog and Gun at Apperley Bridge, and the Commercial at Esholt. Ally is miserable and puts it down to a common female affliction. The first two hostelries were drab but at the Commercial we relaxed and laughed. The hilarity was due to the amount of booze we'd put down. At 10:45 we returned to Pine Tops to watch a Monty Python movie from 1972. They ate takeaways from the Chinese and I wept like a baby at the antics of John Cleese & co. Afterwards we clowned around in the garden, or perhaps I should say Pete and I did, and our frivolity resulted in me lobbing the refuse from the Chinese takeaway into the garden next door. Peter rolled around laughing, but Susan screamed and shouted like dear Mama would do. After our garden frolic Sue dragged Pete up to bed and Ally and I fell into the dining room with Rachmaninov, Stevie Wonder and the Three Degrees. We found a bottle of something called 'Ginora' which we drank, and then discussed our relationship. ______________. Once again the tittle tattle of others is spoiling my life.

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Thursday June 21, 1979

Overcast and damp. Mum phoned me at the office to say they are going to Devon for about a week, and then probably go on to Scotland to see John and Maria. Maria phoned John this morning to say she was having labour pains again. Meanwhile, JPH is at Molly and Jim's for some unspecified period of time.

Had a bath at 5:30 and an hour later Ally and I bombed over the moor to Burley-in-Wharfedale to have dinner with Lynn and David. Ally produced a bottle of wine and we ate like starving fiends. Afterwards we walked over to inspect Dave's allotment and to see them both inspecting the potato plants and clucking hens was a tonic. It goes to show that life can still be happy, simple and uncomplicated and not at all devious and dirty as is so often portrayed on the centre court at Wimbledon or in the Old Bailey. From the allotment we marched to the Red Lion for a couple of drinks, but due to our pathetic financial status we couldn't go full-out and cast caution to the wind as we so often do. Lynn is beaming and glowing like a miner's lamp. Back to Lawn Road for coffee and discuss the ghastly topic of house buying. I'll never be able to afford even a humble garage, let alone a crumbling semi-detached. Home at 11:30pm.

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