Saturday April 5, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Today I am 31. Ally, God bless her, made it a special day with her munificence. Samuel came in early singing 'happy birthday to you' and the three of us sat in bed opening cards and presents. Ally bought me two shirts from 'Paris', at Rawdon. Exquisite. A tie rack, and a beautiful tie with a miniature elephant reclining. Two books. "Claudius the God" by Graves and "Les Misérables" by Victor Hugo. Thorntons chocolates. Breakfast in bed. The girls and Dad all phoned before 9am. It was touching to hear Dad. Lunch. Drink downstairs. Ally and Sam to bed. I had a lager with Margaret and Audrey and they formed a plot and gave me a 'German special' one of the concoctions favoured by our Gestapo clientele. I was slightly 'tight' by 4pm. Upstairs we had rump steak, sauteed mushrooms, white wine, &c. We then lay upon cushions on the floor like Roman patricians. I failed to win the pub 'flutter' on the Grand National. Chris phoned to say he cannot work tonight and so I axed him from my front bench team. Ally very beautifully said she would do his shift. Janette phoned to say they are coming. We went down at 7 and sat sozzled in a corner. We were joined by Uncle Peter, Auntie Jean, John, Janette, George W and Jayne. A quiet night really. You have to be reasonably quiet at 31. Bed at 12:30. No high jinx. No stoppybacks. No 21 gun salute.

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Friday April 4, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn Leeds LS11 5NQ

Uncle Peter is 57 today. We haven't seen him since Christmas. One of my customers makes me feel like vomiting. Joan Shelton, 58, has just been savaging the poor prime minister. "I was never out of work until she got in". And there she is (Joan) supping gallons of mild every week and living a life of Riley. She expects something for nothing. Bloody parasite. Ally went to bed early and I went down to the bar for social intercourse. A drunk, tippling whisky in the tap room, upset me at 11:30 and I physically ejected him midst the breaking of glass and furniture. My remaining customers filed out in an orderly fashion. I went to bed covered in blood and sweat.

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Thursday April 3, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Ally to Dr Duck at 9:50. ________. Believe it or not Ally has yet to be confirmed as being definitely booked in to the BRI for baby's birth. St Luke's is the designated place and whenever Ally brings up the topic with Dr Duck she says "Oh don't worry. We'll have you at the BRI. It's where you went last time." It will mean war if we are thwarted this time. A home birth in fact. Ally has a wicked look on her face. She and Samuel are in collusion over my birthday presents, and by the look of things my wife has gone mad on the plastic again. On Saturday morning all will be revealed.

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Wednesday April 2, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Lynn and the children came over this afternoon for high jinx and high tea. Ally laid on an old fashioned nursery spread and the little ones greatly appreciated it. Katie had never seen a doughnut before and sat wide eyed but refusing to touch one. Samuel was covered in jam. Little Thomas moves around like a badger and refuses to walk. David came and picked them up at 6. Lynn made a comment about the Moorhouse: "It's a typical town pub". Snobby somewhat. She perhaps should visit some of the pubs in town.

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