Thursday October 14, 1982

 Splashed in the bath before breakfast. Ally and I kissed goodbye on the doorstep and she asked me not to enjoy myself too much with Diane.

Busy day. Sarah went home at 12 with a cold. Won't be seeing her again this week. Went at 1:30 and stood outside the Ostlers waiting for Diane who was ten minutes late, and only met me because she was passing on her way to Marks and Spencer's. She was surprised that I remembered we had an appointment. I had a couple of pints and she Britvic orange. She cannot drink when working [she's at Nat West]. I told her about Susie. Paul [Edwards] is living at St James's Crescent while Hilda and Tony are away in Spain. _________.

Home at 6. Laid the carpet in the bedroom and dismantled the bunk beds, which were close to collapse. I blame John & Janette. Ally and I squabbled. She is driven to distraction by my lack of pracical mindedness.

Read Fanny Hill.

Wednesday October 13, 1982

 Dark morning. To Leeds after boiled eggs for breakfast and a few snatches of conversation with Ally. We are buying books on the scale of a major city library. I want the diaries of Harold Nicolson, Evelyn Waugh, Noel Coward, Beatrice Webb, &c. I have been in Austick's looking at published diaries. Diarists always come across as pompous, and nearly all are shatteringly world famous. Is it silly of me to keep a journal? OK, I don't take lunch at my club with the Financial Secretary to the Treasury, or dine with the Duchess of Windsor at Maxim's, but I do make a contribution, don't I? 

Mum phoned. Dr Glass saw Susan. ____________. The Stockport trip is still on , but it doesn't look good. Ally phoned me this afternoon. Quest Travel cannot give us a flight to Lanzarote on Dec 2, but can do one for the same price on Nov 18. £115 each isn't bad. 

Home to Ally and mince and dumplings. 

Prince Andrew flew back from Mustique [illegible] very much like the Queen as he left the plane. That same fixed, nervous expression. Koo [Stark] has gone on to St Lucia. It is reported that HM paid for the tickets and is very aware of Miss Stark's naughty films. Our sovereign is very broad minded. I bet she's been watching 'Emily' on the little cinema at Sandringham.

-=-

Tuesday October 12, 1982

 Fog at first. Mum phoned at 11:30 to say Sue is unwell, feeling dizzy. They went down to look after Christopher and found Sue in bed having had a visit from the doctor who had examined her and said she is probably 16 weeks pregnant. She was later taken away by ambulance to Roundhay. Poor Sue had no idea.

Busy at the office. The girls overheard my calamitous conversation. 

Fish again. The dinner was hideously salty and we drank water all night. Mum phoned again this evening to say Peter had visited Sue in hospital was she was 'cheerful'. Her doctor won't be looking at her until the morning.

I looked at Fanny Hill. Bed at 10.

-=-

Monday October 11, 1982

 Columbus Day, USA - Thanksgiving Day, Canada

Raising Mary Rose.

What's this Columbus Day? The Tudor flagship Mary Rose was raised this morning and its ancient timbers saw the first light of day since July 1545 when it went down with all hands before a purple King Henry VIII. The Prince of Wales was present to witness the surfacing. Sadly, they found no survivors. I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Sir George Carew, the admiral, thrashing around in the deep clad in his hose and doublet.

Home from the YP. No curtains. The little creep in the curtain shop has forgotten us. Ally stood pulling faces at the offending red, striped curtains which we thought we'd seen the last of. We ate lasagne and watched 'Coronation Street'. Phoned Guiseley and spoke to John. Mum and Dad have been looking at a pub in Darley and have gone to see Joe and Anne Grunwell. John's thinking of going to Scotland at the weekend, if he isn't working on Teesside. 

Read Fanny Hill. Ally weary. Bed after 11. Ally says my cocoa is getting worse.

[Bessie phoned on Thursday I've just remembered. Philip and Carol Middlebrough's baby is to be called Thomas].

-=-

Sunday October 10, 1982

 18th Sunday after Trinity

I awoke to find myself facing a blank, unfamiliar wall. Ally heaped up behind me. The bed was too small. Steve was on the phone downstairs. He had slept in late and was arranging to play football at 10. Karen made toast and marmalade and awful tea and she excused herself by saying she never drinks the stuff. She was drinking Coca Cola. Ally looked dreadful. John's eyes pink. After the marmalade we escaped to Rue Club. We sat with sandwiches, drugs and coffee watching David Niven and June Allyson on the BBC. John left at 3:30 and we lounged on. Ate fish. Fanny Hill. TV. Bed. Our new curtains come tomorrow.

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Saturday October 9, 1982

 Fanny Hill is the most sexually explicit thing I've ever had the fortune to read. It's hard to imagine it was written 200 years ago. 

Up at 8 o'clock, and finished off painting the front door. I am now that person I would have roared with laughter at five years ago. Painting a door shrouded in the autumn mist of early morn. Silly bugger.

Ally made haste to the Co-op and then we had breakfast. I bottled beer and then waited for the paint to dry before we went into town. The hot bus made Ally feel faint. We bought a lampshade for the kitchen and other odds and ends. 

If you think my handwriting has deteriorated then blame the fountain pen which is more or less knackered. It hasn't had a new nib since April, 1973. 

Salad sandwiches. Splashed in the bath. John came at 6:45 with the lounge door which he has restored. We went to the Farmers' Arms at Stanningley at 9. Joined by Lynn, Dave, Sue and Peter. On to Karen and Steve's, where we were joined by Jill, Tim, Phil and Denise. We all drank punch, which is fatal. Susie looked chic in a boiler suit with her hair swept up. Lynn was fat and frilly. John had a roaring time. Ally went to rest in a darkened room at 1am. Blame the punch. To bed there at about 2 or 3. I arranged to see Di for a drink next Thursday.

-=-

Friday October 8, 1982

 Back to the YP. No comment on my day off but I did detect an icy note in Kathleen's welcome. She thinks I've been laying carpets for two days. 

Koo Stark.

Sarah has filled me in on the 'Koo Stark Affair'. On the BBC news last night we were privileged to see photos of the naked body of 'soft porn' actress Kathleen Norris 'Koo' Stark, 25. The starlet and her very obvious attributes have been cast into such prominence because Prince Andrew has taken her and a party of friends to Mustique. It would appear that the foolish prince has been having an affair with Miss Stark since February. She has been to Balmoral and, according to one rag, has slept at Buckingham Palace. A pleasant intruder into the prince's bedroom. I have always thought of Prince Andrew as being too self-assured, and full of himself. He does not enjoy the popular appeal of the more restrained Prince of Wales. The boy obviously thinks he can get away with anything following the wild reception he received coming back from the Falkland Islands. However, public opinion is a temperamental thing. The Queen, in Australia, will not be 'seething' as some news reports suggest, but I suppose she'll be saying 'told you so' to her naughty, wayward, second son.

Fish fingers with Piglet. To bed at a reasonable hour. Reading Fanny Hill by John Cleland.

-=-

Thursday October 7, 1982

 Ally went into to the AHA and had a peculiar conversation with Derek [Jenkins]. She isn't allowed to take a day off for a strike day because he says it will interfere with her superannuation, whatever that is. She yesterday came out of her flexi-leave. I sat at home and waited for the carpet fitters. A little man came and fixed the gas fire. Ally and Dave Watts came in at lunchtime and he looked at the pipe which is still dripping. 'Do not worry', was his comment. Two carpet fitters arrived at 2 and spent 90 minutes. I was fascinated. They make the job look so easy. By 3:30 we had a plush deep green floor which lends an air of sophistication to our dwelling. Tidied the place up and when Ally came in at 5, I had a blazing fire, and Ella Fitzgerald on the turntable. The house looks wonderful. 

Phoned Dave L to remind him about Saturday. He'll be away at the Nottingham Goose Fair. Bed late.

-=-

Wednesday October 6, 1982

 I am resolved to take the day off. Ally phoned the AHA to say she was having the day off as a strike day [today is a TUC day of action]. She phoned Sarah to say I wouldn't be in because I have a cold. I have really landed the YP in it. It will be Hell. Carol J is off, and of course Margo is in Paros with her lover. 

Steve O'Connor, a roofing contractor, came and climbed around on the roof. He says he can make repairs for £12 a square yard instead of the usual £20, and says a new roof, which is needed, will cost us £500. 'Why not apply for a council grant?' he says. Ally phoned and they say we could possbibly have a 90 per cent grant but that there is a long waiting list. We'll wait. Painted the front door. St David, the patron saint of central heating boiler systems, paid a visit and dispelled our fears. He didn't think the system needed draining and came back at 7 with Jean [Watts], and made a poultice [is that sic?]. He says Ally is a born worrier. He is quite right of course. We looked at impressive photographs of Switzerland. I am also taking tomorrow off too to supervise the laying of the new carpet.

-=-

Tuesday October 5, 1982

 Awakened at 6:35am by a loud and irritating knocking at the door. Threw on a pullover and staggered downstairs to find the postman with a parcel, which proves to be a chunk of Frank and Bessie's Pearl Wedding cake. Ally was fuming. This put her in a black mood. I went down and boiled eggs, leaving her boiling in the bath.

Karen is 23 today. MM will also be celebrating in his furniture shop. The day that began badly grew steadily worse. Mum and Dad arrived this evening and while putting back a radiator we discovered yet another leak. We have rain which pours in through the roof too. Life here resembles the Poseidon adventure. Mum isn't well and has a burning sore throat which got steadily worse as the night went on. Dad and I took up the lounge carpet and fit it upstairs in the small bedroom. My heart and soul wasn't in it. They left at 12:30.

-=-

Monday October 4, 1982

 Wet beginning, warm middle, and sunny end. My bus was full of tarts, and has been so for over a week. Five of them on the back seat were talking very loudly about mens bottoms, and having sex in public conveniences. Most disturbing. Young, but with coughs like old women, with dyed hair. What has become of the English rose?

Sat with The Times. Another KG has died. The premier English baronet Sir Edmund Bacon. That is three vacancies now. 

Phoned David Middleton at 10. He came at 6 and to our relief he immediately said he would replace the cracked sink. I have been blaming myself.

The Queen has sailed off to some South Pacific islands, the last bits of the Commonwealth yet to be visited by Her Majesty. She's doing the closing of the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane first. No monarch in the history of the world has travelled as extensively as the present Queen.

Prince Claus, husband of the Queen of Holland, has lost his marbles, and has been locked in an asylum. He's due here next month for a State visit, or perhaps a Strait visit [i.e. strait jackets, etc] Aren't I a wit?

Chicken. Ally ironing. Bed after 11. We are staying up too late. Phoned Mummy and sugegsted a visit to Stockport on Oct 12.

-=-

Sunday October 3, 1982

 17th Sunday after Trinity     Full Moon

Opened my eyes expecting to feel ill, but didn't. Painted in the kitchen all day. Lynn, David and Frances called in for coffee on the way to Richard and Mandy's. Ally was annoyed because they are always on their way somewhere when they visit us. _________. Frances, in a knitted suit looked very 'Bakery', yet sweet. She has big teeth. Laid cushion floor covering in the kitchen. Chicken at 8:30. Hung pictures. Watched Olivier's 'Three Sisters' by Chekhov, and felt stupid because I couldn't understand it. Bed after 12.

-=-

Saturday October 2, 1982

Definitely feel 'off it'. Hot, sweaty, and getting a cold as sure as God makes little apples. Struggled in to town with sweet Ally. The curtains were not ready. Bought wallpaper and my last tin of apple white matt. Home at 2 and papered the kitchen until 6. Ally screamed in horror. The sink, not eight weeks old, has cracked. I could commit murder. Seven thousand pounds for a knackered old kitchen sink. Depression. Fish pie. Stayed up late. Ally baked cakes and buns. Watched Olivier in 'Rebecca'. Bed. Unwell.

-=-

Friday October 1, 1982

 Cold, even frosty. Margo went off at 4 on a 2-week holiday with a mystery friend. Sarah and Carol were almost purple with inquisitiveness. That is if in fact inquisitiveness does make one purple. Mauve perhaps. 

Corn on the cob and a luscious lasagne. [Ah, but first we walked to Comet, in our matching plum coloured jackets, to look at freezers, without actually buying one]. Felt tired. Watched TV. Bruce Forsyth either dyes his hair or wears a hideous wig. 

Have I told you about Andrew? _________________.

-=-

Thursday September 30, 1982

 John P.H. is six today, God Bless him. Mum and Dad came home from Scotland and phoned this evening. Baby Hannah is beautiful, but add little else. Maria bumped into Janette in Stranraer _____________.

Ally was slumped upon the settee looking very weak. Ate fish and chips. Brewed beer. She made a cushion cover from an old skirt. Looks good. I shouldn't refer to her as 'she'.  Watched Robert Powell in the film 'The 39 Steps' - poor. Give me Robert Donat any day. Life is so busy. I love this journal but do not think I am giving it my all. No time, you see.

At 10 the phone rang and I thought it was Papa but no it was his brother, John, in Lanzarote. [Sheila too was on the extension]. They asked Ally and I to go stay with them. All we need is a flight. It was so good hearing him. He has fond memories of my visits to Windsor, and I have the same. It's ten years since the Duke of Windsor was lying-in-state and I paid my first visit to Clewer Fields. To bed excited. I'm sure Ally will love them.

-=-

Wednesday September 29, 1982

 Sunny, yet blustery. Refused to climb out of bed. Ally did. Odd how we take turns 'lying in'.My bus to Leeds was full of trendy students and it irked me having to queue to get on. YP brisk and efficient. Said very little and packed in at 12.

Was Lady Mary Lygon a friend of Evelyn Waugh? She's dead anyway. 

Home for 12:40. The traffic lights had failed all over Bradford. Ate a bit of cheese and spent the afternoon 'glossing' the radiator and skirting board. I'm unhappy about it. I was distracted by the ghastly Labour party conference from Blackpool, on BBC2. As I daubed paint I spat with rage at the likes of Dame Judith Hart and Arthur Scargill. The conference is a complete and utter farce, and to think they seriously believe they will form the next government. Ally phoned and we agreed about nothing. She came home at 6 and we ate dreaded macaroni cheese. A gas man came and cut off our non-approved gas fire. It's leaking somewhere. It will cost us £15 to have it mended. Mary Moore, over the road, was having a Tupperware party, and later we watched old ladies doing a conga dance down the street.

-=-

Tuesday September 28, 1982

 What you want is good solid details of Yorkshire life in 1982, but I cannot remember anything worthwhile to record today. A cosy, pleasant evening with my precious wife. Watched an Agatha Christie play on ITV and supped cocoa.

-=-

Monday September 27, 1982

 Up and out leaving John and Janette in bed. Phoned Mum. _________________. They are going up to Scotland in the morning. ___________. 

Sunday September 26, 1982

 Bacon and eggs for breakfast. Didn't feel too bad considering. Over to Burley in W in John's gleaming car and had drinks with Lynn and Dave at the Malt Shovel. Janette is too quiet, but sweet.  _________.

Wine at Lawn Rd, and then back to Bradford at 4. John went to bed and Janette sat with Ally and I talking. She told us that Maria is furiously saving to marry Alec, and that the wedding will take place in the garden at Corner House Cottage, if a licence can be obtained. Janette is of course Alec's niece. __________.

Out at 8 to the Old Ball at Horsforth, full of posers. On to the Black Bull, and then the Fire Brigade. We left at 9:30, as Ally was exhausted. Sweet and sour king prawn. Bed.

Graham phoned at 11. I was a bit pissed and thought Gill must have delivered.

-=-

Saturday September 25, 1982

 Sun. John's twenty sixth birthday. We slept until noon and sat wearily over scrambled eggs. A black, shiny, Ford Capri 1600L pulled up, and out leapt John, beaming, with Janette. ___________.

We went to the 'Mucky Duck' for a few drinks and then into Bradford where Ally and I bought John a couple of tapes for his birthday - ABC and REO Speedwagon. Janette bought a bottle of Gordon's gin and I provided the lemons. Back to the house. They went to bed until 6:30. Ally and I drank gin and whispered. Later we took them to Giuseppe's Backyard for pizzas [£12 on my Barclaycard]. I had to be very sharp to stop Janette paying. On to Guiseley and we met the others at the Station Hotel. Sampled 'Guiseley Gyle'. Lynn was frosty with John because he hadn't been to see Mum on his birthday, and persuaded him to phone, but when he did he woke all the babies. We were all tanked up and feeling lethargic. Janette was drinking Creme de Menthe, and John, at my persuasion, switched from pints of ale to Campari and soda. Saw Gus and had one of our Monty Python-type conversations. Pissed. John looked shocking. He drove us home to Bradford where we had another gin and tonic. A record session.

-=-

Friday September 24, 1982

 Autumnal. Heavy rain. John phoned to say he isn't going to be in the flat, but says that Janette is coming down all the same. They will have to stay with us.We don't mind. She is such a nice girl.

A scrumptious dinner tonight. Mum and Dad came at 7:30. We dined on seafood pancakes, roast chicken, &c, profiteroles, pineapple and ice cream. One couldn't have a better dinner at the Ritz. We sat around the table until after 12 making conversation by candlelight. I wanted to inform them about John and Janette. He won't have said anything. Mum says she could have guessed. __________. Dad is really humorous and told the story of his army days and particularly the tale of when he wanted leave to leave Germany to come home for John's birth. He owed everything to the padre.

Bed at 4:30am.

-=-

Thursday September 23, 1982

 Nothing much. People are looking at the YP Library staff in a new light today. Little rebels that we are. A wind of change is sweeping the YP. Have I said this before?

Made my weekly visit to the Provincial Building Society and deposited £3. It sounds pathetic but in just a few months we've amassed £60. I sat at my typewriter afterwards and concocted a letter to John and Sheila.

Tonight I saw nothing of my wife who was cleaning feverishly for tomorrow's state visit of Mum and Dad. At 10, at my instigation, she leapt up and made profiteroles - simple. Bed.

-=-

Wednesday September 22, 1982

 Sent for an oasis continental quilt. The so-called TUC 'Day of Action' which I did my very best to ignore. I walked to the interchange at 8 and caught a 72 bus coming out hotly pursued by picketing transport workers carrying ridiculous banners. The YP [and EP] editorial staff had almost a full turn out, but the damage was done because no newspapers were published today. 

I sat reading the nationals from yesterday. Princess Grace is to be buried beneath a marble slab shortly. She is still lying aroud unburied. Prince William of Wales has had his first whooping cough vaccination. Half the population of the Lebanon is murdering the other half, and I cannot understand why. Foreign policy has never been my strong point. The Swedish government has fallen. But that is all yesterday's news.

Strolled out at luncheon. Leeds didn't appear to be suffering because of the nation-wide strike, but then I do tend to walk around unseeing. Kathleen gave us wine.

Home by train at my usual time and walked from the city centre to my dwelling to find my wife cooking dinner. Corn on the cob and Shepherd's Pie. Marriage is the greatest joy obtainable under the heavens I suspect. Sat laughing at Cyril Smith MP. He's a big, fat Liberal. Ally is furious about Arthur Scargill, and stood ironing scorning his childishness. 

We went to bed at 10:30 and sat talking about a winter holiday. It looks like Lanzarote in December. I will have to write to John and Sheila first.

-=-

Tuesday September 21, 1982

 A dark, wet morning. Ally was gleefully splashing in the bath and her cheerfulness brought me round. She scampered off to work at 8:15 and I spent the day hanging green wallpaper. I nipped into Bradford this morning and bought another roll of paper and a tin of gloss. Back to it. Didn't break off until nearly 6. I'm sick of the smell of gloss paint and paste. Ally phoned a few times but it was always when I was at a crucial point on a ladder, and so the chat was brief. Listening to the radio all day almost drove me around the bend. Do you think that perhaps all radio DJ's are gay?

Ally was home at 5:30 beaming at me through the kitchen window. We ate liver and onions, but I was hungry afterwards. I must be all the hard work I'm doing. Sat shivering with cold until 10 because we had all the windows wide open to allow the apple white gloss to dry. Ally sat looking through cookery books, a favourite pastime. Deciding on the menu for Friday when Mum and Dad come to dinner. We made pancakes [for the seafood pancakes] and watched an Agatha Christie play. Bessie phoned with woeful tales of her sisters. Hilda [the younger of the two surviving sisters], seems to be dying of cancer, and Joan [the elder]  has just spent two weeks down in Hampshire ________. Bed at 10:30.

-=-

Monday September 20, 1982

 Rain. Went off to the YP wearing a quilted jacket and looking remarkably like Mick Jagger. Haven't had a coat on my back since last winter. YP dull. Margot and Carol went to a SOGAT meeting upstairs at 12. I couldn't bring myself to go, but afterwards regretted the decision because by all accounts it was amusing. I am told that when I turn up for work on Wednesday I will be fined £50. Just how do they hope to get the money from me? They cannot access my wage and if they expect me to voluntarily give up nearly a weeks money they'll have a very long wait. Arthur Scargill will be in the Lords, and Zara Phillips in corsets.

Sarah went to a 'house warming' at Carol's on Saturday. Every carpet in the poky little house has huge swirling, migraine inducing patterns.

Phoned Mum, who says it is safe to cash the cheque. Aren't we lucky? Tonight: fish and chips. Undercoated the windows. Watched 'Minder'. Ally sat looking at holiday brochures.

-=-

Sunday September 19, 1982

 15th Sunday after Trinity

Hideously hungover. Breakfast with Mum, Dad, Ally and John. Mum always burns the toast until it's black. Collapsed afterwards. Watched 'The Dam Busters', Dad giving his own commentary on the film throughout. Hilarious. John brought us home at 4. I was almost sick. It was touch and go. Had fish fingers at 6. Watched a dreadful Michael Caine film. 'Tales of the Unexpected' followed, and once again the conclusion was expected.

Decide to have the day off tomorrow and make some progress with the decorating.

-=-

Saturday September 18, 1982

 Mist at first, but very warm later. Up at 8:30 and undercoat the sitting room door before breakfast. At 9:30 I broke off to watch the funeral from Monaco. One of the most moving things I've ever seen. Prince Rainier and Princess Caroline looked pathetic. Shattered and broken by grief. The Princess of Wales was seated next to Nancy Reagan and both ladies were making use of their handkerchiefs. What a great honour for Mrs Reagan to be seated so close to the divine Diana.

Paint and hung wallpaper all afternoon. To Pine Tops in a hot sweat at 6:30. Surprised to find no food laid out and drew the conclusion that we must be dining out. For some reason I thought we'd be having a buffet supper. Mum gave us all a tiny card each, and on opening the cards we all found a cheque for £250. Dumbfounded. Dad must have had a fortune fall into his lap since Tuesday, and so they have given us £1,000 to us, the children. Lynn adopted a worried look and offered her cheque back saying they couldn't afford such a gift. Lynn is daft. As if they'd wruite four cheques they cannot afford?

After a few gins we went to the Fox [and Hounds] where Mum had booked the little room, only to find it occupied. The manageress was unhelpful and downright rude, but we had a pleasant table by a window upstairs. Seven of the nine had T-bone steaks. Dad paid for the lot and the bill came to over £90, which wasn't too bad. Mum and Dad were in better shape than on Tuesday. It must be sinking in by now. Onward to Pine Tops for drinks [again]. Showed then the letter from Malcolm Fawbert. The fool. To bed at 4am. Horrific.

-=-