Saturday August 6, 1983

 Up at 7 looking and feeling awful. Everybody says so. It was daft of me to stay up until 1. The others can be nocturnal because they don't have to get up at dawn like me here. No sign of Roy or Marie until luncheon. I 'bottled up' and collected rubbish in the garden. JT joined us for breakfast but Ally and I escaped before he tackled his fried egg sandwich. Randy old Margaret says she likes the way we work and so too does Charlie, and when Charlie Poole likes something it must be good. Roy was up late and grumpy. He and Marie went off to Redcar Races with the family leaving JT, Dave and I running the bar. The place was full of revellers from a wedding all clamouring for drink and hurling abuse. At 3pm we had to make the same exit from the bar as we did last night. We were still clearing up after 4. Ally was busy in the kitchen. She made a steak dinner which we ate after 4:30. Roy's daughter, Marnie, came to see us and showed us a bundle of new coloured socks she's bought for her Chesterfield sojourn. For a 14 year-old Marie is very grown up. A busy night, but we retired early. Roy went up before us, and without a fuss. I think he was knackered.

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Friday August 5, 1983

 Linthorpe Hotel, Middlesbrough

Feel shocking. A hideous throat. Green phlegm continues. Ally now has a baby bulge, a delightful lump. She sits and talks to it. She insists that a person, albeit small, is swelling inside her womb, and he/she must surely be listening. _________.

A man came to mend the glass washing machine and I had to look after him for the afternoon. Back to the normality of lounge 2. We worked like fury so much so that at 10:30 when people were clamouring for more, he asked us to walk away from the bar and hide until the mob had dispersed. It was like making an exit from the stage.The crush was made all the worse by a 'Toga Party' and a stag party. Afterwards all the staff sat and slurped. Kieran is an aggravating youth who teases in a persistent manner. He says I look like a surfer. Why? JT was pissed as a fart. He does a club act as John O'Rea. Hilarious. They all sat in the bar until 6am but Ally and I went up at 1. 

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Thursday August 4, 1983

 The 83rd birthday of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother

Queen Mum: born in taxi.

May God's blessings be upon the old Queen. Roy, over his morning tea, said that she must owe her longevity to her mother Queen Mary. I coughed, but said nothing. Sipped more tea. Roy, reading a tabloid paper, announced that rapists, child molesters, and Coronation Street stars should be flogged and then hanged.  I have a bad throat. Hoarse. Coughing up green phlegm. To the vault all day. Old Eddie, who is only 60 but looks much older, says his late uncle won the VC but always refused to talk about it. Eddie didn't appreciate this modesty and was irked by it. The VC is now housed in the Green Howard's museum in York. News: saw the Queen Mother waving from the balcony of Clarence House. She was joined for lunch by her daughters, the Prince and Princess of Wales, and Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones. The Sun newspaper announced that the Queen Mum was born in an ambulance in London on this day in 1900. It has long been a mystery as to where HM was brought into the world. The reference books always stated St Paul's Walden, Hertfordshire, but in 1980 this was revealed to be wrong, and at the time London was suggested as the birthplace. Lord Strathmore was fined for not registering his daughter in the 6 weeks period allowed, and when he did so he gave false information. Ally phoned Sister Matthews who, to our horror, says she's dropped Ally's blood sample, and tells Ally to have another NTD screening. We went to Middlesbrough and had this done. They will forward the report to Bradford Royal.

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Wednesday August 3, 1983

 Linthorpe Hotel, Middlesbrough

Dave G is 29 and Janette 19 .

We pottered about in our room until 10:45. 

We went down to the bar and looked at it from the public side. Had a lager with Sean, Mike, and Kieran. An old man engaged Ally in conversation on the subject of the other Sam Smiths houses in the locality. We decided to stroll round looking at them. The Cambridge and the Master Cooper. Both quiet this afternoon. The manager at the Master Cooper is an ex York City footballer. Tonight we worked in lounge 2. Marie, I have decided, is like a Valkyrie.

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Tuesday August 2, 1983

 Awakened by the alarm at 7:13 but lay smiling to myself knowing I do not have to get up. Linger in bed. Can we call our son Samuel when we work for Samuel Smith? We like Oliver too, but Oliver Smith is the chairman of the brewery. So it will look like we are crawling which ever name we go for. At 12 we went down and sat with our lunch at the bar laughing at JT winding up Mike. It's a local pastime. We went to the bank and withdrew £30 and posted a few postcards. Back in our suite we wrote letters to our mothers which took an hour, and I lay on the bed dropping grapes into my mouth. On TV saw the dreadful Kim Wilde performing. She's built like a cart horse. We haven't heard much news. I enjoy being cut off. JT banged on our door at 8 and asked if we wanted to go out into Middlesbrough with him. We sent him packing. Ww will go with him one day, but not on our first day off. Mags says JT has thyroid trouble. At 9:30 we went to the Chinese take-away. Saw Roy for the first time today and he thoroughly approved of us staying in bed on our day off. 

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Monday August 1, 1983

Mags.

 Down as usual at 7:30 to the serenade from the fire alarm. Whilst bottling up Roy asked about Mike Walker's visit and says that Ally could, if she wished, have baby in a private nursing home following signing up for BUPA. Went to the bank for £10 of 2p pieces. I did the lounge bar with Carol and Mike until 3. The place was dead. Rain. I do not like a quiet bar. Feel like a goldfish. Ally was in the kitchen making sandwiches and finished at 2. The weekly rota reveals that tomorrow is our day off. An old boy in the bar left his copy of The Sun - the front page reveals that the Duchess of Kent has cancelled more engagements and departed early from a concert on Saturday. Poor soul. What can be wrong? Sleep. Bath. Vault 7-11. No bother. Most of the customers are insane and jibber away incoherently. A large, ageing hippie woman, still dressed in 'flower power' garb 20 years on, sat with a pint doing the Guardian crossword. At 11 I went back to civilisation and joined the others in the lounge bar. Ally looked beautiful, and a customer told her so. Bob, the lounge bar Casanova, said he'd never seen a barmaid look so fresh from start to finish, and admired her crinkly brown dress. You know the one I mean. To bed at 12. Mags and Marie were squabbling. Photos of Matthew arrived and I glued them in our album. Had coffee in bed.

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Sunday July 31, 1983

 9th Sunday after Trinity

    Linthorpe Hotel, Middlesbrough

Margaret: buttocks.

Felt not too bad and went about my morning business quite unaided. Roy didn't surface until late. I went about the garden picking up debris from last night. Used contraceptives. Yes, you name it and I found it. 87p in coins scattered around the lawns. At 12 I was put in the vault (the back bar) - not my favourite place, and stood until 2 with the alcoholic OAPs. Marie's mother, the nymphomaniac Margaret, keeps coming in to molest me and drain the Diet Pils lager. She pulled a few pints and grabbed at my buttocks. She is 53 but has retained all her urges. The Barneses Sunday lunch smells divine. We had steak and switched on the TV, for the first time since our arrival here, and watched a noisy film Dunkirk. We switched off and slept until after 6. A moderate Sunday evening. Heavy rain deterred people using the garden. We had just one drink after closing and went up to bed but couldn't sleep. All the late night films are starring David Niven. His autobiography was ghastly and put me off the man.

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Saturday July 30, 1983

The Linthorpe Hotel, Middlesbrough

 The burglar alarm sounded at 7:30am even before I had left the bedroom. I think it must be Roy mucking around. His sense of fun is legendary. Feel groggy. I did my bottling up and then had a large cooked breakfast at 8:30. Ally sat in the office and spent the afternoon with Mags, Marie's sister, in the kitchen. I worked in the bar with Barry and Carol until 3:30. Up to bed at closing and found Ally asleep on top of the bed reminiscent of Queen Victoria's effigy in the Royal Mausoleum at Frogmore. Yesterday we signed up for some life insurance making each other beneficiaries in the event of our deaths. The lump sum payable is four times our annual salary. We also joined the Sam Smith's pension fund but it doesn't kick in until Oct 1, and BUPA. My grogginess had passed by lunchtime. We ate cheese sandwiches outside beneath a large, dark tree. Time is flying so rapidly it's frightening. It was the usual riot tonight. A mob came in who were en route to a 'bad taste' fancy dress party. Everyone dressed in ridiculous 'loud' clothes, &c. At 12 Roy, JT, some others and me, walked on to the party. Roy in shorts and school cap. Quite a hideous party. Fourteen year-olds throwing up everywhere. Not a glass in the place. I stood sharing JT's flagon of cider until he staggered off at 2. I lingered until 3 and then walked home leaving Roy there with his Jim Beam. Ally had only just retired.

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Friday July 29, 1983

 I was hoping it might rain today to spoil Maria's wedding but alas it proved hot and warm. At least she can no longer dishonour our family by using our august surname. They are going to honeymoon at Molly and Jim's and Janette says she is going to spy on them.

Maria & Alex.

Up at 5am and off on our way back to Middlesbrough. Ally collected her iron tablets from Boots and bought some red dungarees. Taxi to the Linthorpe for 10. We were back to work for 11. Mike Walker, from the brewery, arrived at 2:30 and we signed lots of papers. It was a quiet lunch and a busy night. Ally looked cute in her red dungarees. Kieran asked if she was here to clean the windows. All the staff sat after closing and I bought everyone a drink (£8.50). Roy and the lads went off to Mandy's disco in town and I went up to join Ally, who retired at 12. Dave and Mike borrowed my shoes to go dancing. Will I ever get them back? Hot night.

Red dungarees.

News: The Penrith by-election was a disaster. Whitelaw's 15,000 majority in June was slashed to 500 or so. David Niven has snuffed it. Princess Michael of Kent's marriage has been recognised by the Pope, and they are to have it blessed by (Cardinal) Hume. Why was her first marriage annulled? 

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Thursday July 28, 1983

 Slept late. Had a leisurely breakfast which dragged on into the afternoon. We walked up to Saint Street Clinic, Ally in her pretty flowing red dress, to see Sister Matthews, and a doctor, Asian. She had a spina bifida blood test and a prescription for iron which they say she desperately needs. She hasn't put on weight, and is calculated as being 16 weeks pregnant. We walked to a bus and went into Bradford where I bought her tea in Rackham's (prawn sandwiches and orange juice and a biscuit for £3!) The place was full of old ladies all with blue rinses. Bought Ally a blue t-shirt. Later we went to the doctor to collect the prescription for iron. Bought corn on the cob and lamb chops and had a large evening meal at 6.Watched the news. We have lost touch with the world since going to Middlesbrough. Is Harold Wilson a viscount or a life baron? Watched TV until 10 and  slept like logs.

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