Friday September 17, 1982

 Prince Andrew has sailed home on the Invincible to be met by Her Majesty and 1500 flag wavers. Reminiscent of the return of [Sir Francis] Drake in the 1580s. 

The Princess of Wales is to represent the Queen at the state funeral in Monaco tomorrow. They are now saying that Princess Grace suffered a stroke before crashing her car, and that she was on a life support machine until nothing more could be done. Prince Rainier had the agonising experience of having to give permission for the life support machine to be switched off.

Dad and Mum had lunch at the Fox and Hounds yesterday with Jim and Margaret. Hilda and Tony were supposed to be there too. Mabel had a good night, and brought a coffee maker.

TV abysmal. Bed early.

-=-

Thursday September 16, 1982

 New Moon

Back to the YP. Surprisingly, the girls are holding out from returning to the union. 

Princess Grace.

Poor Princess Grace is lying-in-state in an open coffin. Someone in the office phoned to ask who was the last British monarch to have a lying-in-state in an open coffin. Never, says I. I cannot state how things were done in Ethelred the Unready's time, but I know that the first lying-in-state of a monarch, with lid firmly nailed on, was for Edward VII, in May, 1910. Victoria didn't have a public lying, and the Hanoverians didn't do it. Can you imagine people queuing to file past George IV, for instance? In those days the passing of the sovereign was a time for celebration. The first lying-in-state at Westminster Hall was for Gladstone in 1895. I suppose the next one will be for David Steel. Ally doesn't approve of Princess Grace being on public display. She gasped. She has never seen a dead body.

Ally grouted the kitchen tiles. Watched 'High Society'. Very sad. Princess Grace put Monaco on the map. Salad butties and cocoa. To bed after a programme about the extermination of the jews. Such a depressing night.

-=-

Wednesday September 15, 1982

 Up at 10. Ally looked and felt awful and stayed put. I took champagne with Mum, Dad and David and had a fried breakfast. Since out botulism attack Ally cannot stand the smell of bacon, and so it looks as though my future home life will be baconless. 

Saw on the 12:30 news that Princess Grace of Monaco died last night from injuries sustained in the car accident she had on Monday. We were led to believe that the princess had suffered a broken leg and collar bone but was not seriously injured. It's a terrible loss. Princess Grace was beautiful, even in her 53rd year. Aso injured was the 17 year-old Princess Stephanie, but how seriously we do not know. 

Ally, Dave G and I set out and walked to Sue and Pete's at 1:30, where Dave saw Christopher for the first time. He is s sturdy, tiring bundle. I told her about Princess Grace, and she asked: 'who is she exactly?' Poor girl. Never a bright spark when it comes to European royalty and Hollywood stars. Rid ourselves of Glynnie at 3, and got a bus home. Dave B came [again] at 6 to fix the notoriously leaking pipe. We ate a meatless stew with Yorkshire puddings and retired early. It was Frank's 55th birthday today.

Dave L phoned and I placed an advert [in the paper] for him.

-=-

Tuesday September 14, 1982

 Sun. To the YP. Phoned Guiseley at 11:30. They had had a champagne breakfast. After 25 years Papa has ceased to be a police constable. Spoke to Dad. He appreciacted the Churchill quote. I thought he would. 

Busy day. Brisk walk at lunch. Spoke to Ally. She had phoned Mum at breakfast time too. Met Glynnie at the station at 4:55 where we took the train to Bradford. Dave has taken on the responsibility of the Hollywood following Jim's death. At Rue Club Ally was gliding around in her finery and Dave B was attending to a leaking pipe. Bathed and dressed in ten minutes and at 6:30 we were in Burley-in-W. Lynn's bulge is bigger. Mum says that the shape of bump determines that the baby is a boy. On to Guiseley at 7 for bubbly with Mum, Dad and John. Sue and Pete arrived simultaneously. Mum, dressed in green, wasn't the usual bundle of joy she usually is. Both she and Papa seemed stunned. I suppose that retirement has that effect. At 7:30 we took them to Giovanni's - a complete surprise. We had a few gins first and ate at 8:30, or so. I had steak au poivre, or something. Ally had a sirloin done in sherry. A pleasant but noisy dinner. John and Pete behaved like big kids together. John told me [at our end of the table] that he was supposed to phone Janette, but had fortgotten in all the excitement. I could see Mum at the other end of the table straining. It's cruel and Mum, Dad and John don't see eye to eye on _____________.

Dad had a cake iced in blue. Much Sambuca and Strega, coffee and chunks of gateau. Back to Pine Tops for more stiff drinks and then to bed after squabbling with John about Mrs Thatcher.

-=-

Monday September 13, 1982

 Excitement at the YP. A ghastly SOGAT official came in to lecture the naughty library department. We haven't paid our union subs for eight weeks and have no intention of doing so again. Library solidarity has never been more necessary or vital. He told us that by dropping out of the trade union we will cause a 'stink'. I cannot wait. A wind of change is blowing through the Yorkshire Post library. The SOGAT representative, a bearded communist in a C&A suit, fumbled and coughed into his briefcase, and said nothing remotely constructive. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Went out at lunchtime and bought Dad a leaving card and inscribed it with a quotation from Churchill. 'Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But, perhaps, it is the end of the beginning.' Quite appropriate I thought.

Tried phoning Glynnie numerous times. He's coming here at 5 tomorrow. Chicken pie for dinner. Piglet is an exquisite cook.

Press reports say that the Waleses will take Prince William with them to the Australian continent next year. I don't know how accurate this is.

-=-

Sunday September 12, 1982

 Very hungover. Did not hear from Mama. I think we are now out of favour. 

We roasted a chicken and watched Kenneth More playing the legless war hero Sir Douglas Bader, 'Reach for the Sky'. Nauseating. Had a splendid dinner at 6. Sat cuddling on the settee afterwards.

We do, as a family, the Rhodeses, drink far too much. A Hell-raising pack we are. Tears. Parties always end in tears. We shall certainly have to behave next Tuesday. We do not want Dad's [leaving] do wrecking.

To bed after 'Tales from the Unexpected' which in fact are always expected. Is it because I have an author in me?

-=-

Saturday September 11, 1982

 Sun. Spent the early afternoon in town. It was my lucky day. Ally bought me togs to wear next Tuesday. Rolls of wallpaper too. Home at 2 feeling hot. I fancied an afternoon in the pub, but of course we cannot afford it. Mum phoned as we walked in the door. She is having a garden party, and could we go?  Ally gasped in horror. She wanted a peaceful afternoon watching me slap wallpaper on our neglected walls. After a few sandwiches and cups of tea she regained her composure. We splashed in a cool bath and took the bus to Guiseley arriving at 4:30. Lynn, Dave, Frances, Sue, Pete, Christopher, John, Jim, Margaret, Pamela and her Peter assembled. Riotous. Gallons of plonk and whisky. Steak, chops, sausages, &c. Deckchair tomfoolery until after 9. We left at 10 and John drove us home. Mum made a peculiar anonymous phone call. Ally went off to bed. I bought fish and chips.

-=-

Friday September 10, 1982

 Eggs for breakfast. Ally wore her new burgundy coloured bomber jacket and looked flash and sexy. She must warm the hearts of many Bradford motorists as they pass her waiting at the bus stop. 

At the YP I told Sarah of Kathleen's crazed attack upon her character when she was away and unable to defend herself on Wednesday, and without further ado Sarah stood up and announced she wasn't well and walked out. Mrs Slocombe and I looked on wide-eyed. Margo was away - her driving test. Kathleen, realising she is to blame for the breakdown, sat pathetically whistling, humming and singing as a cover to her feelings of great foreboding.

Home at 6. Macaroni cheese, with an egg mayonnaise starter, not my favourite dish. Did little else.

-=-

Thursday September 9, 1982

 Lynn and Dave's fourth wedding anniversary.

Albert Rhodes died on this day in 1973. Such a queer old man he was. For years I could not bring myself to speak or write his name. He did have some good points. He gave me £10 in 1971 which took me out and about in Interlaken. Ten pounds bought a lot of beer in Switerzerland in 1971. I recall getting very drunk one night and they had to duck me in a fountain to bring me to my senses.

YP. Sarah off for the day at Whitby. Kathleen is always gushing and creepy in Sarah's absence. We are, it seems, taking the rap for the mistake in the article by Bob [Cockroft] where he stated that Tony Hudson is High Sheriff. Bob, in his apology, reports that the mistake was made due to the information at source - i.e. the library. Malcolm Barker was also up in arms. Very bad show.

Home at 6. Pot of lasagne. Saw 'A Bridge Too Far'. Bed at 10:30.

-=-

Wednesday September 8, 1982

 We took some time getting out of bed. Both exhausted and un-refreshed.

To the YP. Kathleen is a cow. I fought with her about the snotty letters that Anne leaves us [she works evenings]. Kathleen always leaps to the defence of the night staff. They are the bees knees.

Got in after 6. Pork pies and mushy peas. Ally was in bed at 9:30. I watched half an hour of Clint Eastwood's 'Dirty Harry', but found it Dreary Harry.

Lynn phoned earlier to talk about next week. We have yet to buy a retirement card. She and Ally were giggling like thirteen year-olds.

-=-

Tuesday September 7, 1982

 YP ghastly. I really feel that the place is driving me slowly insane.

Mum phoned this afternoon to say that they are coming over this evening with jackets and things that Ally ordered in a wild flurry of extravagance last week. Ally sank somewhat when I told her. She wanted a quiet night in the company of her husband. Mum, Dad and John came at 6:30. Dad and John tiled the kitchen wall. Mum brought sherry. Excitement about Dad's retirement. He looks like a youth. He's so happy. On the TV - Lord Howard De Walden talking about the Jockey Club.

To bed.

-=-

Monday September 6, 1982

 Labor Day, USA and Canada

Cooler. Definitely an autumnal nip in the air. We ate bananas on toast and swigged tea. Ally wearing her silk stockings and black French knickers. She is a treasure. It was my wish to stay at home and indulge ourselves. Sadly, it wasn't to be.

YP. Mum phoned to say she is having a party on Saturday Sept 18 for Dad in return for whatever we are doing for him on Sept 14. Dad has four days left to work and no night duties. They celebrated last night dining at the Fox. Phoned Ally. She answered the phone differently, and I asked her if I could speak to my wife. Home at 6. Dined by candlelight again. Ally suffering from back ache. She had a hot bath.

Sat watching the TV news. I don't watch the news like I used to do. What's all this about Yasser Arafat? The Prince and Princess of Wales attended the wedding of Carolyn Pride and William Bartholomew. It was kisses all round. One Sunday paper suggested that the Princess of Wales may be pregnant. The couple are supposed to be doing the colonies next year.

-=-

Sunday September 5, 1982

 13th Sunday after Trinity.

A day of rest. We sat cuddling on the settee. Watched 'Casablanca'. Ally doesn't like slushy romantic films, and she polished the table. Had a delicious fish pie at 5, by candlelight, and listened to the radio. Ally then slept, curled up on a cushion like a hamster.

Heard on the news that Sir Douglas Bader has gone to that great artificial limb factory in the sky. Mind you, I don't suppose one uses false limbs up there.

Watched a ghastly Richard Harris film. Bed at 10. An idyllic day.

-=-

Saturday September 4, 1982

 David woke us at 9:30 with pots of tea. We suspect he's been giving the new kitchen a good 'once over'. We don't care. We like it anyway. David fitted his roof rack to the car and carried off a door for John to work on. They left after breakfast and went on to 'Cheap and Cheerful'. Poor Frances slept at Audrey's and had the whooping cough jab yesterday and screamed bitterly.

Ally and I went to Fads and bought two more boxes of tiles for John, but decided it was too late for him do any this afternoon. He can come next week. We bought a roll of patterned paper and did one wall. Found papering round the windows tricky, but didn't panic. Into the bath afterwards. John came at 7. Dave L arrived at 8 looking more trendy than I've ever seen him. A slick hairstyle and futurist footwear. It's not the old Dave. Ally suspects the influence of 'Knocker'. Karen, Steve, Jill and Tim arrived at 8:30. Watched the end of 'Jaws'. To the Fire Brigade. Stood in a mass around the juke box. I supped 'mixed' for the first time. Jill not on form. John was showing off for some peculiar reason. Back to ours for more drink, and left overs from last night. Dave loaned us the Human League 'Travelogue' album, and he carried off 'Promised You a Miracle' by Simple Minds, and the Soft Cell LP. Late again. Pissed.

-=-

Friday September 3, 1982

 Full Moon

Out of bed at 6:00am. Ally made a trifle and a cheesecake, whilst I daubed apple white paint on the newly papered kitchen. Boiled eggs, and dashed out of the house at 8.

YP: Sarah and I are to resign from the union. Back home for 6. Ally cooking furiously. Dinner prepared for 7:30. Lynn and Dave arrived at 8:30. Big dinner. Corn on the cob, tomato and celery soup, steak and kidney pie, mushy peas, parsnips, potatoes, &c, trifle, cheesecake. Bloated. German wine & [Martini] Bianco. Lynn is big, but not hideously so. Much talk of Trevor and Jane at Bardsey. Reminiscing. Christine Airey talk. To bed after 2. Thoroughly sated. 

-=-

Thursday September 2, 1982

 Sun. Up late because we couldn't climb out of bed. Refused my egg for breakfast. Had a steaming bath, bowl of cereal and slice of toast. Late to the YP. It was after  9:15. No one said a thing.

The papers are empty of proper news. Ron Brown, MP for Leith, attacked Mrs Thatcher in Glasgow and has been clapped in irons. Lady Iris Mountbatten, granddaughter of Princess Beatrice, and a great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria, has died, aged 62, in Toronto. They [the royal family] didn't see much of her. She was last over here for Louis Mountbatten's funeral.

Ally phoned me at 1pm. The sound of her voice is so uplifting, when one expected it to be a call from a toffee-nosed lady from Adel enquiring about her daughter's 'O' level results. Went into town. Sun. Bumped into Philip Knowles, who told me that he and Gillian Craven are marrying on October 16. They've bought a house at Mount Pleasant, near the Drop Inn in Guiseley. Haven't seen him since we were in Ios.

Home at 6. Hung [wall]paper in the kitchen. Had fish and chips at 9;30. Ally worked hard making things nice for Lynn and David. Later Lynn phoned to ask if they could sleep here tomorrow. I. phoned Mum, who told me John is better and back at work, and then phoned Dave L would said he would come here on Saturday. MM and Marita are opening a furniture shop in Horsforth.

-=-

Wednesday September 1, 1982

 Someone somewhere by the name of Martyn Cole is celebrating his birthday today. Ally and I sang 'Happy Birthday' to him in absentia, whilst we were in bed. 

My tip about the engagement of the chairman's son found its way into the YP and EP. Told Bob about another engagement. Miranda Riley-Smith and a chap called Sampson. Tadcaster brewers.  Busied myself all day. Sarah __________________. 

A socket in the kitchen exploded. No harm done. Shepherd's pie - mounds of it. We discussed how we could never dream of leaving each other. Watched TV. Coronation Street followed by a tribute to Ingrid Bergman. Ally insisted in scraping dried, flaking paint from the window, which put my teeth on edge and the screeching quite disrupted the snippets of 'Casablanca'. To bed in the region of 9. Read Picasso.

-=-

Tuesday August 31, 1982

 Left Ally at home to her own devices and returned to the YP. Told Geoff Hemingway and Bob [Cockroft] that Andrew Hudson, son of the YP chairman, had got himself engaged. Dismal day. Sarah accused me of being over industrious. The others took the opportunity of Kathleen's absence to do absolutely nothing. Phoned Mama. John is back from Stranraer and in bed with a tummy bug. The baby, who looks like Catherine, is to be Hannah Maria. _________. Ally phoned me at the office to moan about the lack of DIY shops in Lidget Green. She took a bus into town and bought more fennel [paint]. I had a brief lunch and escaped at 4:20 leaving Mrs Slocombe painting make-up on her ever expanding face. The bus, homeward bound, was full of rough women, and I, at the back, was surrounded by whores who had just been visiting loved ones in Armley Gaol. I too would want to be 'doing time' with women like that sitting at home. Ally had put fennel [paint] on the alcoves, and has chosen a green pattern paper for the remaining walls. I did a bit [of decorating] but felt tired and disinterested. Ate roast lamb. Watched TV. Esther Rantzen at the zoo. Parrots eat sponge fingers.

-=-

Monday August 30, 1982

Bergman: dead on birthday

 Bank Holiday in UK [Except Scotland]

Spent the day decorating. Ingrid Bergman died yesterday on her 67th birthday. Perhaps they'll show 'Casablanca' again. Ally extremely cuddly. We had a candlelit dinner. Mushroom soup, liver [again] and onions, followed by orange jelly. Slumped in front of the TV. 'Airport 75' again. Boring. Bed after 10. Ally sat in bed reading recipe books.

-=-

Sunday August 29, 1982

 12th Sunday after Trinity

Up at 7:30. Spent the morning painting the ceiling and put some 'apple white' on the chimney breast. Finished at 12, or maybe 1. Ally and I squabbled. She wasn't looking forward with pleasure to the afternoon. On Thursday we planned with Karen and Steve to visit Mum and Dad at Guiseley and then go on to Pudsey afterwards. She's feeling anti-social. I think she would like me to paint non stop until 1987.

Upstairs and bath. Ally looking pretty. We gave Karen and Steve a lager and went over to Pine Tops at 2:30. Lynn, David, and a leggy Frances were also visiting. The baby was eating an apple and repeating everything anyone said in parrot fashion. Supped ale. Dad was 'off colour'. He was hungover after a 'rum session' with Jim and Margaret. We arranged for Lynn and Dave to dine at Bradford on Friday. On to Sue and Pete's where she was making a curry. Christopher burst into tears at the intrusion of so many people into his tiny world. At 7:30 we went to look at the newly opened Damn Yankee, but came away because they do not accept credit cards. Silly sods. To Westfield fish and chip shop. Exquisite. On with the Sandersons to the King's at Pudsey [after calling on Hilda and Tony who were still decorating]. I was well on my way to being pissed, and according to reports talking too loudly in the pub. People were giving me funny looks. Ally enjoyed the evening more than she perhaps expected though insisted we return to Bradford and not stay the night at Stanningley. On to the Royal. Saw Jill and Tim. Home after 11.

-=-

Saturday August 28, 1982

 Sun. Phoned Dave G who was just going off to work at [Stepping Hill] hospital. He is definitely coming on September 16. We went into town after breakfast and bought fennel paint, &c. Painted the ceiling this afternoon. Gave myself a stiff neck. Ally created a beatiful fish pie, and we ate at 8. Began with corn on the cob, of course.

Watched David Essex in "That'll Be The Day" - an appalling film though Ringo Starr was amusing. To bed afterwards.

-=-

Friday August 27, 1982

 Bad head. Gordon [Linacre?] gave me £50 for my family tree, and I cashed it seconds later. Went out looking for fennel coloured paint without success. Sat in my usual place in Park Sq eating a salmon and cucumber sandwich. I pass many solitary lunch hours in the park. I am basically a solitary person. Ally is the only person with whom I can relax. Thank God I found her.

John left for Stranaer this evening with a car boot full of presents for the children. He showed us a large, green plastic 'Incredible Hulk' for JPH. 

Home at 6 and went to bed at 7 after eating liver cooked in sherry. I set the alarm and got up at 9:30, but Ally opted to remain in the sack. Watched a 1972 horror film which I first saw with Dave L and Harry back in my Benton Park days, at a late night showing at Yeadon cinema. Bed after 1. Ally warm like toast.

-=-

Thursday August 26, 1982

 Bought four books for a quid. Not bad. I bumped into Karen in town and mentioned the fact that we have a cellar full of ale. She and Steve arrived at 8. She is taking her miscarriage as one would expect. She cannot now become pregnant before Christmas and Steve is now having to resort to the use of contraceptives. They are a very open couple. No secrets. We listened to music and had a curry from over the road. We sat until after 2am. Pissed up. _________.

-=-

Wednesday August 25, 1982

 Half day. Paper things. John came and laid tiles. He's seeing Janette at the weekend . _________. Ally was sat giggling at the Miss UK beauty competition on TV. The IRA managed to disrupt the proceedings, I believe. John went off at 11. To bed.

-=-

Tuesday August 24, 1982

 Oh fuck off.

-=-

Monday August 23, 1982

 You can always tell when I'm writing pissed, can't you? YP. Fucking rubbish. Why am I still there? Never mind.

I was painting in the cellar at 6:30 when Mum phoned to say that Maria gave birth to a daughter this morning at 10:00am weighing 6lb and the odd ounce. Hannah is the name.  __________.

-=-

Sunday August 22, 1982

 11th Sunday after Trinity

John came and boxed in the stray pipes, and found a good many faults with our £1300 kitchen. Joiners tend to do this with work from other tradesmen. Back to Pine Tops for 6pm. Dinner. Sheep and Yorkshire puddings. Fun. Wine. John drove us home with a Christmas tree [?]

-=-

Saturday August 21, 1982

 We went out looking for ironing boards and general things for the house. Saw curtain material, and found a carpet [pale green] for £2.80, or £280,  more likely. Home jaded. TV. Bed.

-=-

Friday August 20, 1982

 The new cooker works. Yorkshire puddings tonight. Joyful feelings in the kitchen. Russell Harty on TV. Later, Alfred Hitchcock. Baked bread, yes bread. 

New books arrived. Picasso, Dali and Surrealism.

-=-

Thursday August 19, 1982

 Half day. Bought tiles and [wall]paper at Fads. Returned to home base. The little kitchen erector comes from Barnsley, or a place three miles therefrom, and immediately he warmed to my south Yorkshire connections. Made tea. The kitchen man finished at 3. Ally and I dined at home. Actually we had fish and chips.

-=-

Wednesday August 18, 1982

 Kitchen renovations Day 3. We came home from work, changed, and went out at 6:45 to the Oddfellows, a run down and filthy pub. An elderly Pakistani was playing the fuit machine with gusto. Moved on after one drink to the Second West. This pub has changed hands since our last visit. The organ is no more, and I suspect that Stan [the organist] has joined the heavenly host. To the Coachman's or is it the Coach House? I preferred it when it was Mucky Willie's. The dirt and destruction at home is getting on Ally's nerves and we were quarrelsome. I hate squabbling. At 10 we stormed out and went to buy a curry. Hotter. Four inches of dirt had settled at home, but the cooker and sink were installed. 

-=-

Tuesday August 17, 1982

 The kitchen renovations continue. Our crooked walls are making it a long job. Tonight we went by bus, in pouring rain, into the metropolis, and had more Italian food at the Pizza House, on Sunbridge Road. Whitebait, prawn cocktails, lasagne. We were the only diners and our only companions were the tropical fish swimming amiably around in a tank. We used the good old Barclaycard, a rare thing these days. When we left the restaurant it was still pouring down , and seeing no buses, we walked half way home sharing an umbrella. We arrived home damp and happy to inspect the kitchen progress. To bed with hot drinks.

The gutter press are reporting that the marriage of Princess Anne and Capt Phillips is on the rocks. The princess celebrated her 32nd birthday at Balmoral, whilst Mark was farming hundreds of miles away at Gatcombe Park. It is about time that the press realised that members of the royal family are quite different to the ordinary couples out on the street. The Queen and Prince Philip are often parted for weeks on end but not because they are unhappy with each other. Royal life is essentially a lonely one.

-=-

Monday August 16, 1982

 Graham and Gill went back to Gloucestershire. Ally took the day off to receive the little men from Kitchen Studios, who arrived at 11 took a cheque for £1300 and then sat around drinking tea all afternoon. They hadn't realised that the house would be so 'crooked'. Nothing is square. I came home at 6. Ally was covered in dust, but calm. The kitchen fitters were still at work and so we changed and got a bus into the city [after having a quick one at the Coachman's], arriving at a pizza place, Giuseppi's Backyard, at 9. Ally still not loving her food, but she's improving. Window shopping. Bradford is full of scaffolding. Home and to bed. No doubt we'll see some developments in the kitchen tomorrow - tonight just chaos.

-=-

Sunday August 15, 1982

 10th Sunday after Trinity

Trevor took us to the Holiday Inn, where he works, and showed us a couple of rooms, before our breakfast. Had a few drinks and left for Bradford at 3. John was awaiting us on our return at 5 and had boxed in more pipes. He dashed home to change and returned at 7. We went for a drink with Philip and Carol Middlebrough, and Richard and Eileen, to the Malt Shovel, again. John used to play football with Philip many years ago. Poor Eileen cannot persuade Richard to marry her. Much Tetley's consumed. At 10:30 we went to the Fire Brigade followed by a grand finale - a Chinese take-away. John came back to Ash Tree Cottage with Graham and Gill and we listened to Emerson, Lake & Palmer whilst demolishing prawn sweet and sour. Delicious. Ally feeling herself again. She is susceptible to travel sickness.

-=-

Saturday August 14, 1982

 Sunshine. Ally and I had slept on a camp bed on Trevor and Terry's sitting room floor. We left at 10 for Eston, and got there in about one hour. Ally looked delicious in her new dress and shoes. Gill in a Laura Ashley maternity number. We had a quick pint in a pub opposite the church. The wedding was at 12. A typical wedding. The bride, poor thing, looked almost drab in a soiled gown. A cast off from her sister's nuptials. The vicar, as usual these days, asked us not to throw anything inside the churchyard. The hymns were drab, but Graham had us shaking with hysterics at his remarkable baritone. On to a social club for the 'reception'. Abysmal food. Egg sandwiches, corned beef pasties and that sort of thing. The bridegroom's parents were slightly more 'up-market' than the family of the bride, and people crawled under their tables when the father of the bride, pissed, clad in a kilt, made a progress around the guests flashing his privates. A party of heavily tattooed builders soon demolished the buffet and by the time we got to the table we found nothing but empty plates. The barmaid had only one full arm and a ghastly pink stump where able bodied people usually have a second arm. She somehow managed to hold a pint glass in her stump [she had an elbow joint] and hobble to the beer taps and back splashing the peculiar northern ale everywhere in the process. Very off putting. 

Ally went for a chat with the mother of the groom, and declared her to be a sweet old woman. Consumed gallons. Gill was very amusing and we do so enjoy pulling people to bits. The bride's mother changed into carpet slippers. Disco music throughout. The pub was above a betting shop and when we emerged into the sunshine at 5pm to wave goodbye to the bridal pair heading to Wales, we clashed with the men putting a tenner each way on 'Sunny Boy' running at Haydock Park. Back to Newcastle. Dined with Trevor and Terry [or is the feminine 'Teri'?] on goulash. Bed. Hot.

-=-

Friday August 13, 1982

 A fried repast with Graham and Gill. Ally has a poor appetite since her attack of botulism. All lethargic. We went out shopping. Gill wants net curtains to deter a Gloucestershire nosey parker. No joy. Ally bought some delightful blue shoes from Top Shop. Graham says they make her look like a pixie or garden gnome, but then he is very conservative. Handbag too. [Oh yes, and she bought a new blue dress on Wednesday. Still, she hardly ever buys anything new]. Lunched at the White Horse at Thornton and spent £9 on a ploughman's lunch. We did eat 3lb of cheese each. Back at Club St we packed and left for Newcastle at 4:30. I slept for most of the journey. They were laughing at me sprawled in the back of the car with my mouth wide open. To the Thirsty Farmers Bar at the Europa Lodge Hotel - drinking hideous gassy Tetley's. Gill's brother Trevor arrived with his live-in girlfriend, Terry [Teresa Weymes]. To a pizza place in the middle of Newcastle. Some people say that the people, the noise, ther atmosphere of Newcastle is so like Ibiza. Slightly older. Graham and I had the folded up pizza [calzone]. Ally wasn't hungry and I finished her lasagne. Poor Terry upturned her very hot pizza onto her knees and scolded her legs. Fortunately she was wearing jeans. Graham got a parking ticket. It's £10 these days.Back to Trevor and Terry's modern little house which is overlooking an impressive man-made lake in the middle of an housing estate. Everywhere in Newcastle looks new. The closest I have been to Newcastle was to Washington New Town in 1973.

-=-

Thursday August 12, 1982

 Graham and Gill arrived just as we got in from work. Gill looking enormous and still hell bent on calling a female child Siobhan. A boy will be Matthew after the Rev. Lynn. We sat with a beer and talked about Coleford. Splashed in the bath and went out to the Bod at 7:30 for an aperitif before having a pizza at Mama Mia's on Manningham Lane. The service at the restaurant was poor, which is unusual. On to Wilsden after 9 to meet Philip and Carol Middlebrough at the packed Malt Shovel. Graham attempted to escape but I persuaded him to hang on. The place was full of heavily pregnant women from the local relaxation class, and Ally sat amidst them looking out of place. Back to Philip and Carol's. I had a Drambuie. Their pet hamster is dead. I went to pay my respects on the rockery where he is laid to rest. Home late.

-=-

Wednesday August 11, 1982

 Wednesday. We are both much better. Ally leapt like a young gazelle from bed and splashed in her bath. Good to see her returned to some robustness. 

At the YP I sent a memo to Mark Parry, and within minutes he was by my side saying he had accidentally dropped my claims sheet in the bin and 'Oh dear, it won't happen again'. So, I'm still waiting.

Mum phoned twice this morning. First to say that they saw Karen last night, and secondly to say that Karen has suffered a miscarriage and is in the women's hospital at Roundhay. Poor girl. What a time she's had. John is coming to do some 'pipe boxing' on Sunday when we will be in Middlesbrough. Luxury.

Dave Middleton from Kitchen Studios wrote to confirm they are installing the kitchen on Monday and Tuesday next week. Hard to believe that the days of Yorkshire pudding and roast beef are here. It's a shock to the system and we cannot believe that in a few days time the house will be full of workmen  installing a £1300 kitchen. Luxury.

Mum and Dad have visited a pub at Wetwang near Driffield - too far away really. Sue said she would cry if they went there. They're still keen on the pub at Linton.

Maria has been in touch. The baby won't be here until September.

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Tuesday August 10, 1982

 Poor Karen's been at Hilda's since Saturday feeling unwell. A miscarriage is threatening.

I am much better, but Ally is still weak and looks ghastly. Struggled onwards to the YP. At 12 I walked to the metropolis with Sarah. She immediately through herself into a verbal attack on _____________.

Home to find Ally tucked up, fully clothed. I joined her and climbed into bed for an hours slumbering. The poor, tired Angel. We went downstairs at 7 and had tomato soup, and omelettes - something light.

Dave L phoned to say he was coming over but we put him off until next week. Back to bed at 9:30. I read Agatha Christie.

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Monday August 9, 1982

 Miss Jacqueline Myers is 26 today. We have heard nothing of her since Ally's birthday when, I fear, she almost came to blows with Elaine Allinson over the Falklands conflict. We sent her a card and demanded a meeting.

YP full of the usual delights. Has Henry Vyner, former owner of Studley Royal, remarried? This was today's thrilling question. I passed Mark Parry in a corridor and he said not a word about my outstanding payment. Not that I really expect him to remember little me. 

Home. Ate bacon and tomato sandwiches. Later we were both gripped with expectations of vomit, and Ally went ahead and spewed up. We collapsed into bed and lay pitifully belching and groaning. It's our first joint attack of botulism. Loving is sharing.

-=-

Sunday August 8, 1982

 9th Sunday after Trinity

Day of activity. After a full-English I took to removing wallpaper and laying on the polystyrene tiles. It's a religious thing now at weekends. Ally, in a temper, went out to dig furiously in the garden. I switched on the TV and caught the last ten minutes of 'Jezabel' starring Bette Davis. They don't make 'em like that anymore. Ally recovered her composure and came back sweetly. We had onion soup, pizza and chips, and sat grinning at each other across the table. Funny how the pendulum swings?

To bed early again. A hot night. Restless romps. Penny, the poodle, dwelling at Mary's barked and complained throughout the night.

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Saturday August 7, 1982

 A fried repast for the four of us. We were joined in our bed at 8:30 by Master Christopher with an engaging smile and sturdy brown legs. An adonis boy. He needed showing off and after breakfast we carried him off to Pudsey and our first port of call Karen, Mrs Stephen Sanderson. Obviously pregnant and going about her morning chores. Steve was out playing cricket, or more likely lubricating his tonsils. After a few drinks we moved on to Jill and Tim's. We also received lubrication here. Tim's foot improved. Then on afterwards to Wilsby where Christopher was nursed by his great-auntie Hilda, who was covered in dust from the ongoing renovations. Tony is a right little John Vanbrugh. The dog, Pepper, attempted to bite anyone taking an interest in Christopher and the visit was taken up with fighting off the yapping beast. Back to Bradford at 5:30. Sue and Pete took C home and Ally and I sat until after 8 and struggled up to bed. Thoroughly bushed.

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