Monday March 2, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

Pig & Whistle.

Sunshine, but windy. To Scunthorpe after breakfast to the Pig and Whistle. We were very impressed. Like the Butcher's in Pudsey to look at, and in the market place, but with some daunting rough-looking flats hovering on the horizon. The couple there showed us the upstairs, and excellent flat and the lounge is 'us', you know Victorian flower pots and gilt framed portraits. The place had no tap room and in a very good position for lunchtime customers, who all seemed 'normal'. Lots of business types coming in for food. We sat outside because they did not approve of children, and ate fish and chips (again). Samuel is a fish and chips maniac and he sat in the driving seat peering above the wheel. From Scunthorpe, which is a much better place than I imagined, we went to Barton-upon-Humber, passing Normanby Park, home of the Sheffield baronets, of whom the pouting Davina is an off-shoot. (See journal 1976/77). She is now Mrs Jake Morley, but was almost Princess des Galles. Anyway, we passed over that fine erection, the Humber Bridge, to Howden in search of Jean and David (Watts), but failed to pin-point the actual street. We drove around like idiots after phoning and having no answer. Back at the Moorhouse we enthused abut the Pig & Whistle. 

-=-

Sunday March 1, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

St David's Day

Quinquagesima

Pouring rain. Dismal. We got to Whitby for 12 and immediately felt disappointed by the so-called Jolly Sailors. Mediocre Sailors, more like. The manager was very unhelpful. Certainly this place is not the one for us. Pool-playing deep sea fishermen with unwashed armpits. Oh, no. We ate fish and chips in the car and headed home for 4 calling at the Barleycorn at Scholes, and Drighlington where we checked out the outside of the Valley Inn, which LG had mentioned is shortly to become a managed house. This did fire something and we returned home for tea excitedly. Just Ally and I tonight. Much whispering together.
 

Saturday February 28, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

New Moon

Our envelope from the brewery reveals two available pubs:

(1) The Jolly Sailors, Whitby

(2) The Pig & Whistle at Scunthorpe.

We resolve to venture forth tomorrow and on Monday to inspect these hostelries.

Chris.

Christopher's party: We first went to Lidget Green where Ally and Sam were coiffured. Saw Club Street. The Whetnalls have put up net curtains. On to Janette's but she wasn't in. To the Royalty pub for a quick pint in the cold. Sam played on the swings with another Sam and a Jade, as in Jagger. We went to Sue's at 2pm. A jolly afternoon. Much wine. I drove Janette to Menston to collect some 'home brew'. She wanted to see me at the wheel. We found Susan greatly changed. ________. Peter was creating such a 'to do' because Sue spent £15 on a leg of pork. Ally is lucky that I do not know or care what she spends our money on. Home at 6. I have lost my watch.

Over zealous Chinese officials desperate to reach their targets during s campaign to exterminate rodents made some couples produce a rat's tail to get a marriage licence, a Peking newspaper said yesterday.

A letter in the Daily Telegraph from the Rev Brian Anderson, of Bromsgrove: "Sir - Now that push button telephones are so common, the verb 'to dial' seems to be wholly inappropriate. Do your readers have any other ideas? Push, prod or poke just do not seem right especially when we would need to have a replacement for something like 'dialling tone'."

Also from the Telegraph: "... part of a programme published by Manchester City Council for its International Women's Week next month: 'March 8 - come and share the day with deaf lesbians, and start to learn their language. With workshops and videos. All lesbians welcome."

-=-

Friday February 27, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

Christopher Paul is 5 to-day. Party tomorrow.

Thursday February 26, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

Clemmie was awake at 4, 5 and 6am. By breakfast I was comatose. Feeling vile. I took a hot bath and threw open the pub doors at 11. Upstairs at 12 I felt so shocking that I took to my bed much to Ally's chagrin. She believes in batting on and ignoring pain. I emerged at 3. Samuel was fun. They had just had a gas leak at the nursery and the numbers were depleted because the kitchen there was out of bounds. This evening Maureen opened up and Ally and I went down at 8. Busy tap room. A very large 18 stone bespectacled ______ was celebrating his birthday. Seven pints a round. I phoned Beverley who took her driving test at Eccleshill this afternoon, and failed, but she is firm and resolute to pass next time. Janette phoned to say that T. Brotherwood is having a surprise 40th birthday party on March 16, a Monday. Phoned Dad. His teeth are coming along splendidly, all gold caps, &c. He'll be worth a fortune.

The Queen has appointed Sir Yehudi Menuin, aged 70, a member of the Order of Merit. The honour is the personal gift of the Queen and recognises outstanding achievements in the arts and sciences.

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Wednesday February 25, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Leslie Gledhill appeared at lunchtime and I had quite forgotten about the letter of last Friday. It was he who brought it up and when I, with wrinkled brow and perplexed look, questioned his statement, he gasped and said I had taken it the wrong way and that he did not doubt our capabilities or loyalty to Humphrey Smith, his heirs and successors according to law. LG walked around looking at the proposed alterations and then expressed his view that we are in need of a change, which we know, because having done 60 per cent more trade this year than in '86 we will never surpass that figure and so it calls for fresh pastures. LG sais lots of pubs are currently available and mentioned the Star, at Mexborough, and one in Darlington. Ally came down with a chip sandwich and joined in the debate. LG gave us some complements that went right over Ally's head. "He says the same thing to everyone". Anyway the crux of the matter is that he wants us to move, for our benefit, and not for any other sinister reason. Off he went. We went upstairs and looked though piles of pub vacancy leaflets some dating back three years. Where do we fancy? Oh, dear.

Deaths:  George F. Tibbles, at Palm Desert, California, aged 73, composer and scriptwriter who set the cartoon character Woody Woodpecker's manic 'H-h-h-haa-ha' laugh to music.

-=-

Tuesday February 24, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn

At breakfast now things are so bad - we have broken so much crockery that we are drinking tea from priceless commemorative bone china celebrating royal events down the years. King George V silver jubilee mugs, &c. Today for instance my morning cuppa was in the 1973 'Princess Anne and Mark Phillips' wedding mug. I asked Samuel who was the face on the cup, expecting a negative answer and he said: "It's Mrs Thatcher". Hoots of laughter followed. Such a bright child. He was on the right track.

Henry John Heinz II, who has died in Florida, aged 78, was chairman of the international food company founded by his grandfather and namesake in 1869 ...

Prince Edward is to leave for the Caribbean tomorrow for a nine day visit during which, as chairman of the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold Award 30th anniversary project, he is to visit Barbados and Grenada. His programme allows him three free days.

Monday February 23, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, &c

Pepys.

Today is the anniversary of the birth of Mr Samuel Pepys. It is to him who we, and indeed you, owe the very existence of this humble journal. In the volume of words alone I did pass Mr Pepys's outpourings way, way back. Sadly, my worthless ramblings will never catch on as his did. I have had no plague, or Great Fire, or intimate conversations with the monarch, like wot he did. Dad has informed me that Uncle Arnold kept a journal until the very end. Dad thinks that I am so like his late brother. At 9:30 we went to the municipal swimming pool which was dirty and cold. We changed in a sticky changing room - Samuel and I - along with 73 schoolboys who I overheard gasping at the fact that I was wearing jeans and no underpants. I think it must be all part of my George Michael image. Samuel hated the water. The boiler was off, and so we had a tearful 10 minutes. He then sat with Ally and Clemmie as I did a few breathless lengths. Not quite Duncan Goodhew, OBE. More like Sybil Thorndike, DBE. Margaret Isabella did lunch. No staff from 5:30. I gave Mags the genealogical study of the Duchess of York for 12 year-old Tricia. It was a joy to do. Samuel has a a green nose. He went to school to tell Dermot all about his sub-aquatic inactivity. Poor boy. I could not swim until I was eleven or twelve. I made my first breathless splash at Guiseley baths in about '67 just after we arrived in the borough. The 20th anniversary of our move there falls on March 10. Just Ally and I tonight. Quiet. Dean Hemingway's girlfriend works in the office of Neil Balfour, the Tory candidate owner of Studley Royal, and former hubby of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia. He's standing for Ryedale. Phoned Dad and Sue. She is better.

Deaths: Lord Talbot of Malahide, who has died aged 87, was the ninth holder of an Irish barony, created in 1831, and Hereditary Lord Admiral of Malahide and the seas adjoining.

-=-

Sunday February 22, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds, LS11 5NQ

Sexagesima

I have been missing my mother lately. I can go for days without any depression and then suddenly slump into a black, anxious mood where I question everything, and scornfully. Why are we here? Just to rot and provide the earth with fertilizer? ________. Supermarkets too, they can bring on a black mood. I can be pushing my trolley down the row of boxes cornflakes when suddenly I see Mum, clad in her anorak and scarf beaming around in Settle Co-op , the light glinting upon her specs. Obviously, I am the victim of some horrid neurosis brought on by grief. I look back upon those 'Pine Tops' days with such pain. We appreciate nothing until the the object of that appreciation is gone forever. 

To Temple Newsam where Samuel looked at the pigs. There was an especially ugly turkey. Back refreshed for 11:30am. Margaret Rushton worked. Margaret Isabella Young began here tonight, the daughter of our Mags.

From the Telegraph: "Percy Potter a retired headmaster, celebrated his 100th birthday this month, and for the benefit of an Eastern Evening News interviewer he recalled his early days as a teacher in Lancashire. In one lesson he wrote some words on a blackboard and told the children to use them in a sentence. One of the words was 'comfort'. He reported than when he was marking their work he found a little chap had put 'I've comfort rent'".

Deaths: Honora, Lady Rashleigh [nee Sneyd], widow of Sir Harry Rashleigh, and the Hon Ronald Leslie-Melville.

-=-

Saturday February 21, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Margaret Rushton, our absentee barmaid, graced our abode with her presence at luncheon. Her mother is flat out in Killingbeck Hospital weighing in at 4st 7lb. Curtains it seems. Grey-faced Margaret's days are also numbered. We cannot cope with unreliability. Here's a little vignette from Bill Gilmore, a former Scots Guardsman with a large red nose. Someone said to him that perhaps Leeds Utd might win the coming FA Cup. "If Queen Anne had bollocks, she'd be t'King", he quipped. Quite excellent. Ally  and Samuel cleaned the car. I cleaned the beer lines. Ate mounds of liver and onions. Just Ally and I tonight. It was good to see Bernadette McCarron back on form. Ally is delicious. We enjoy the intimate 'staffless' weekends. Poor President Reagan is heading for another Watergate. Poor old sod.

This is piquant. The Princess of Wales has asked for a souvenir of her childhood - a grubby window with 500 telephone numbers written on the frame- to be sent to her at Kensington Palace. The old sash window, with four panes of frosted glass, was found at her birthplace, Park House, Sandringham. Mr Frank Chapman, the site agent, said the Princess told him that she had written some of the numbers and would like to have the window as a keepsake because it brought back happy memories. The window was removed from the telephone room at the rambling Victorian house when it was being converted into a hotel for the disabled  at a cost of £1,500,000. The numbers scrawled in pencil, include the chimney sweep, the hairdresser, the laundry, the fishmonger, the Princess's old school, and Sandringham House. Mr Chapman said: "I've also shown the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh and Prince Charles round. The Queen likes it very much. She felt it was ideal for the disabled. The Queen, who gave the house to the Leonard Cheshire Foundation, will open on July 31. Dennis Maiden, chairman of the management committee said: "It's the only hotel of its kind in Britain. Obviously, because it's Princess Diana's birthplace, it will be a big attraction." The room in which the princess was born has been turned into a double bedroom. Her nursery has been converted into two single rooms. ....

-=-

Friday February 20, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Fuming today. Leslie Gledhill sent us a letter, from which I'll quote later. Winnie, Dad's neighbour at Horton-in-Ribblesdale, phoned and gave me momentary panic, by saying that at 2:30pm today Dad's curtains were closed, his blind in the kitchen was down and his garage door ajar. I tried phoning but had no joy, but eventually traced him to John's, where he was unconcerned. I thought he had 'topped himself'. Poor Sue is abed with gastric 'flu.

Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother was represented by by Lt-Col Sir Martin Gilliat at the memorial service for Dame Ann Parker Bowles held yesterday at the Guards Chapel ...

Sir Hugh Carleton Greene, former director-general of the BBC, died last night in the King Edward VII's Hospital for Officers. He was 76.

Princess Anne arrived in Agaba yesterday on a three-day private visit to Jordan as guests of King Hussein and Queen Noor. She was met by her husband Capt Mark Phillips, who arrived in Jordan on Tuesday.

-=-

Thursday February 19, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

The Duke of York is 27 today and celebrating in Klosters with the Waleses. Only a year ago Fergie was seen on the piste with Charles and Diana. What water has passed under the bridge since then?

Pool Knock-Out at home. Ghastly. John the landlord of the Station at Hunslet came. Obviously a worried man and constantly looking over his shoulder. He's terrified about being found out about his various fiddles. He kept mumbling about the five managers who were sacked last week, "all on one day" he kept muttering. He is hoping to move to the Crown at Wetherby. We had no staff.

Sir William Coldstream, the artist and arts administrator, has died aged 78. The Daily Telegraph says he was: "one of the few men to exert a wholly benign influence upon art in Britain.  Seldom have high competence, which amounted in his portraits to something more, and sanity been so finely balanced."

More than five million packs of butter have been distributed in Britain as part of the Common Market's surplus food hand-out and supplies of cheese, milk, and beef are now getting through, Mr Gummer, junior Agriculture Minister said yesterday.

-=-

Wednesday February 18, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

I took Bev to Roundhay winding through the morning traffic. She is such a lovely girl. But a mystery. Uncle Peter says she baffles him. But my uncle is easily baffled. Ally was shattered all day but she never sleeps. Clemmie is such a "wide-awake" thing at 3 or 4 am. I got up in the middle of the night and switched on my video and watched "Blazing Saddles", the Mel Brooks epic.

Strong rumours are ripping through Westminster that Lord Whitelaw, the Deputy Prime Minister, may decide to stand down at the next election. The Leader of the House of Lords, who will be 69 in June, is coming under increasing pressure from his family to quit.

-=-

Tuesday February 17, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

You should see the bags under my eyes, folks. My face looks like two kilos of King Edward's. 

Evening: Ally and I to Rawdon Rd, Horsforth, the Matthews stately pile. Such talkers they are. A sumptuous dinner awash with wine. Marita had creeping lobelia all over her chest. They are set on this hotel in Harrogate, but are wary and nervous. The shop is sold and their house goes on the market next week. Such a loving couple through. That is obvious. Chatter, chatter, chatter. A very pleasant night. Home at 2. Bev stayed, and looked shattered.

A group of Conservative MPs launched a campaign yesterday to replace the May Day bank holiday with a bank holiday commemorating the life of Sir Winston Churchill. An early day motion signed by 19 backbenchers calls for May 10 to be set aside as a national holiday to allow "British people to commemorate properly the life and achievements of Britain's greatest statesman within living memory". May 10 was th date in 1940on which Sir Winston first became premier.

Lord Crowther-Hunt, the political theorist and constitutional expert, who has died aged 66, had been Rector of Exeter College, Oxford since 1982 and was a Junior Minister at the Department of Education and Science and Privy Council Office in Harold Wilson's last administration.

From the Daily Telegraph: "People who eat African green monkey appear to be more vulnerable to Aids, a leading African researcher said yesterday. Prof. Olufemi Williams, executive secretary of the Organisation of African Unity's Scientific and Technical Commission, said research had found traces of the Aids virus in people who ate green monkeys in Zaire and the Central African Republic. No traces had been found in the Casamance region of Senegal where the animal abounded but people did not eat it.
Obviously, I have now removed green monkey from the pub menu.

-=-

Monday February 16, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Washington's Birthday Observance

Clemmie woke at 7:30 and we had tea in bed. Samuel could be heard rambling away to his treasured grandad. Dad went down to 'bottle up' after breakfast and put the Christmas tree lights away - because I find such chores impossible. I went out t the bank and to Morrison's, &c, and returned for 10. Lynn and Dave came 'en familie' including Audrey Baker walking with a stick and looking more ill than on previous occasions. Lynn is thin as a lath. They took Dad to Horton at 12. The poor man is pulled from pillar to post. His business is in tatters. He has only had one guest for B & B since September. God only knows what will become of him. He is deeply upset at the loss of his brother 'Dear Bill' and is so drawn towards his brothers and sisters. Dorothy has recently had gallstones removed.

From the Darlington and Stockton Times: "The Rev Chris Shreeve's Bible study was on fasting. The Hawes meeting heard that several religions practiced fasting as a means of growing nearer to God. Refreshments were served."

Luis Robledo, who has died at Bogota, aged 65, was a Colombian diplomat who secretly married the society beauty Lady Bridgett Paulett in 1948. The marriage at Tunbridge Wells register office was kept a closely guarded secret with the couple maintaining their separate flats, and was only publicly revealed 15 months later when they were in Germany where he was negotiating a trade pact.

From the Telegraph: Weddings: The marriage took place on Saturday at the Queen's Chapel of the Savoy of Mr Mark Thatcher, son of Mr & Mrs Denis Thatcher, of 10 Downing Street, London, SW1, and Miss Diane Burgdorf, only daughter of Mr & Mrs T.C. Burgdorf, of Dallas, Texas. The service was conducted by the Rev John Williams, Chaplain of the Queen's Chapel, and the marriage ceremony by the Bishop of Ely. The bride, who was given away by her father, was attended by Miss Debra Grisham, Miss Theresa Flores, Miss Sharon Wood, and Miss Gloria Zapffe. Mr Stephen Tipping was best man. A reception was held at the Savoy.

-=-

Sunday February 15, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Septuagesima

Andrew 23. John and Janette came this afternoon with JPH, Catherine, and Charlotte. Then, Lynn, Dave came at 8, bringing Dad, and stayed until 10:30. They went to sleep at Pool-in-Wharfedale, leaving Dad here. A jolly evening. Lynn chatters aimlessly and is so larger than life. Clemmie woke when we came upstairs.

The Marquess of Hertford last week paid a stiff penalty for ploughing up the remains of a Roman settlement on his estate: £10,000 with £4,914 costs. His forbear the first Earl of Hertford was imprisoned in the Tower by Queen Elizabeth I and brought before the Star Chamber in 1561 for seducing a virgin of the blood royal, and had to pay only £86 more: a fine of £15,000.

The Prime Minister's son, Mark Thatcher, was married to Diane Burgdorf, of Texas, in a St Valentine's Day ceremony at London's Savoy Chapel. 

Here are the heraldic arms of Harold Macmillan, first Earl of Stockton. They were publicly displayed only for the first time on Tuesday, adorning each copy of the order of service for his memorial in Westminster Abbey. Although he delayed applying for a grant of arms until his 91st year, the new peer took a characteristic delight in their preparation by Sir Colin Cole, Garter King of Arms. The two-handed sword of the crest is borrowed from the badge of the Macmillan Clan, with one of the fists clad in mail armour to mark his service in World War 1. Surmounted by an earl's coronet, the arms are taken from those of both Macmillan of Knapp and of the University of Oxford. Three books, reflecting Macmillan's life as a publisher, bear the motto Miseres Discere Succo [I help the disadvantaged to learn]. It is an elegant corruption of the Macmillan Clan motto Miseris Succere Disco [I learn to help the disadvantaged]. The gold background of the upper part of the shield indicates that the family fortune comes from trade, as opposed to green for land or red for military service. For supporters, the new Earl chose a Scottish lion and an American bald eagle, reflecting the ancestry of his parents. The eagle embraces a Scottish thistle, the lion an American juniper. The castellated arch joining two sheets of water comes from the arms of Stockton-on-Tees, but also symbolises the Atlantic Ocean joining Scotland and the United States.

-=-

Saturday February 14, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

St Valentine's Day

Samuel and I were up at dawn writing a card for mummy. He was using real ink and dipping his pen into my Quink ink bottle. We went in to see Mummy with tea and biscuits, and for a cuddle. Ally gave me a card with a particularly sloshy verse. What a fun day this is. Good old St Valentine. Who was he anyway? Back to it. With Samuel to Linfood. I did lunch alone. Quite busy. Martin Mullen came behind the bar at one point to pull his own pint of beer which I frowned upon. He pleaded his innocence and said he wasn't intending stealing beer, but only helping. Just the two of us tonight too. Cosy. 

I am told a story about a woman who asked whether there were any books on euthanasia at an Ipswich library. The assistant then paused for a moment and replied: "No, but I believe we have a book called 'Young Man in India'".

-=-

Friday February 13, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Three years ago this day my standard was hoist for the first time above this prosperous ale-house. May God keep and preserve me for further labours. I am very tired with a headache. At 2 I slept for an hour which helped revive me. Clemmie has a cold and is hot and snotty.  Samuel and I had our usual excursion to see Mr Myers at the NatWest bank, and to Morrison's. Tonight Margaret worked. She too is now complaining, good humouredly, of stress. She and Maureen are the only staff until Margaret R returns on Tuesday. Ally came down at 9 looking superb in a Laura Ashley creation. Bed late. the video has a grip on us these days. 

The Duchess of York was presented with her "wings" in a ceremony at Kidlington Airport, near Oxford, yesterday, and commented: "We'll certainly qualify as a two-plane family." The duchess piloted a Piper Warrior  aircraft to Kidlington  from RAF Benson for the ceremony with her husband, a Naval helicopter pilot, as a back-seat passenger. She is the first woman member of the Royal Family to gain a private pilot's licence and has now expressed a wish to fly helicopters. The Duchess, nicknamed Chatterbox One by air traffic controllers qualified after passing her final test last month. To pass she had to complete a minimum of 40 hours at the control and sit written tests in aviation law, meteorology, principles of flying and navigation. The Duke smiled as his wife was presented  with her licence by Mr Christopher Tugendhat, chairman of the Civil Aviation Authority. The duchess also received a helicopter-shaped bouquet of flowers and she said: "I just wonder what Andrew wants me to do - flying or flower arranging?"

A village cricket club has thrown away its supply of "boxes", used to protect the testicles of batsmen, because of the fear of Aids. The players must in the future bring their own. "Putting on a protective box that someone else has worn is the equivalent of sexual contact," said Mr Roy Scaife, chairman of the Newlyn East club in Cornwall. He urged other clubs, and the MCC, to follow Newlyn's lead.

The parish magazine of Meopham, Kent, carries a notice in its February addition which says: "Churchyard maintenance is becoming increasingly difficult and it will be appreciated if parishioners will cut the grass around their own graves."

-=-

Thursday February 12, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Lincoln's Birthday

Samuel called Maureen a 'stupid bastard' today  in my ear-shot ______________. He was deposited in his bed until lunch when he emerged chastened. LG came at 2. Very jovial. He took a list of the usual things we want doing, but seeing is believing. He told us that Graham & Carol were sacked for the misappropriation of company money. Some managers fail to bank money on a Monday. He checked our bank book and I held my breath because we owe the safe at least £100. I suppose it's all down to fate. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Ally went to town later and I prepared a quiz for next week, using Brewer's, Whitaker's Almanack, and the Dictionary of Insults. This evening Andrew Cromack told me that Richard Clarke stole my cig machine and that Cheetham is innocent. Oh poor Cheesy, doing hard labour for nothing. Don't make me laugh. Tracey [Edna's daughter] told Ally that Cheesy is doing 6 months , but we've heard nothing official. Bed at 12.

The Prince and Princess of Wales began a four day visit to Portugal yesterday designed to  commemorate the ancient Anglo-Portuguese alliance and to boost flagging British exports. They were met at Lisbon airport by President Soares.

Question of Precedence? Arranging the order of precedence for the Sovereign's parade  at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst, on April 10, is turning into a protocol nightmare for the academy's authorities. The salute is to be taken for the first time by the Princess of Wales, but at least two and perhaps as many as four other Royal Families will be attending the commissioning ceremony. King Hussein of Jordan, himself a Sandhurst graduate, will be there to watch his daughter, Princess Ayesha pass out from the Women's Royal Army Corps course and ex-King Constantine of Greece will see his son Prince Pavlos commissioned into the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards. Queen Sofia of Spain - Constantine's sister - may also attend the ceremony and it is thought that Sultan Qaboos of Oman, another old Sandhurst hand, may go down to watch Omani candidates receive their commissions. As representative of the Sovereign, the Princess of Wales will take precedence over other royalty. But how the rest are to be seated as spectators at the parade and as guests at the commissioning lunch is a problem more complex than with which the academy has ever had to deal.

A packed House of Lords heard the Duke of York take his oath of allegiance to his mother, the Queen, yesterday when he was introduced. He took his seat not only as duke but as Baron Killyleagh, and Earl of Inverness. With the Dukes of Gloucester and Kent  as his supporters he was watched  from the equally crowded galleries by his wife, the Duchess, his younger brother, Prince Edward, and other family members.  The Earl Marshal [Duke of Norfolk] and the Lord Great Chamberlain [the Marquess of Cholmondeley] joined him and his supporters in procession with Black Rod [Air Chief Marshal Sir John Gingell] and the Garter King of Arms [Sir Colin Cole]. Lord Hailsham, the Lord Chancellor, seated on the woolsack, received the Duke and accepted his writ of summons.  Then his patent of creation was read by the Lords' reading clerk before the oath was taken and the Lords roll was signed.  With his supporters, the Duke climbed the steps to the royal dias to take a seat next to the throne from which he rose three times in an exchange of bows and salutes with the Lord Chancellor. For his part of the ceremony Lord Hailsham stood in the place next to the woolsack from which he normally addresses the House while taking part in debates. After leaving the chamber to disrobe, the three Royal Dukes returned to seats on the cross benches to hear Question Time.

Mr Robin Janvrin, 40, deputy head of personnel operations at the Foreign Office, has been appointed assistant Press secretary to the Queen. He succeeds Mr Victor Chapman, 54, a Canadian, who will leave the post this summer after five years.

-=-

-=-

Wednesday February 11, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

I am growing old. Receding hair, flab, constant lethargy, &c. So awful. I am increasingly antagonised by my fellow man and dependent on the Daily Telegraph. I am almost 32 and look it. I also now listen to Radio 2. Derek Jameson and all that. 

Watched the Duke of York today take his seat in the Lords and sit on the Crossbenches listening to Baroness Seear going on and on about growing cabbages. Poor boy.

Graham came at 6 for a few hours and we sat upstairs. He is a breath of fresh air. They are going to Spain in July with Peter and Dee. We nattered about education. He has not ever considered sending Matthew or Simon to a public school, but he does of course live in a leafy village. He is buying a house near Rugby, at West Haddon, or somewhere. His office is a garden shed. We had a inter-house quiz night extravaganza. Ally worked with Mags. The incumbent came from the Old Red Lion. He and five managers inc. the Raynville, the Hansom Cab [York], were all sacked on the same day. Poor overworked LG.

-=-

Tuesday February 10, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Uncle John Edward [Rhodes] is 51 today. What an unhappy man he is these days. Sheila has funny lumps everywhere but refuses to see a doctor, and cousin Valerie has set herself up as a rival property agent in Lanzarote, now employed by a rival firm purely because of her Rhodes connections. Dad says his niece is a little peroxide tart with a voracious appetite for Spaniards. Oh dear. Traumas. Samuel called Audrey a "stupid bastard" in the midst of a crowded lounge bar this morning. I blushed, and that is unusual for me. The worst thing about it was that everybody laughed and sniggered. _________. We do intend to send Sam to the North Leeds and St Edmund's Hall Preparatory School where perhaps his use of flowery language will be [undecipherable]. Just Ally and I tonight again. Quiet, but Clemmie wasn't and was still bright eyed at 11:45pm playing with her Royal Doulton rabbit, Bess. Joe House asked the question: "what do you call a sleeping fish?" Answer: "a kipper". Discussing darts with Jack Collett, he said: "I couldn't hit a cows arse with a shovel." So graphic. Goodnight.

News: Lord Stockton's Westminster Abbey memorial service.

The Countess of Bradford gave birth to a son in London on Saturday.

Obituaries: Lady Agnes Eyston, at East Hendred, Oxon, aged 79. She was Lady Agnes Marjorie Alice Mary Savile, eldest daughter of the fifth Earl of Mexborough. She married in 1930, Capt Thomas More Eyston, Royal Berkshire Regiment, of Hendred House, Wantage, who died of wounds received in action in 1940.

Lady Elizabeth Byng, who has died aged 89, formerly lived at Wrotham Park, Middlesex, the fine Georgian country house built for the unfortunate Admiral Byng [executed on his quarterdeck pour encouager les autres in 1757] which is now the seat of her son Julian Byng.

-=-

Monday February 9, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Horrible wet day. Samuel and I got a soaking this morning going to the bank. We saw Dad yesterday at Sue's. He looked awful and grey probably due to a few late nights, but I do worry about him. He seemed so low and off he went back to his remote Horton. 

Just Ally and I tonight. Very quiet, which is good because the beer supplies are pitiful. Upstairs we watched 'Nemesis', the redoubtable Jane Marple played by Joan Hickson. V. good. Phoned Marita today to say we are OK for dinner on February 17, to be told they are selling up and opening a hotel in Harrogate. Sounds exciting.

The news that the Duchess of York has been to see Tony Kenny of St Thomas's Hospital for a pre-pregnancy check-up has set the medical grapevine humming. George Pinker, of St Mary's Paddington, is 62, and speculation is rife that a new man may be in the process of being groomed  for the honour, not without its quota of angoisse, of delivering the royal babies ...

Obituary: Lady Essendon- at Laguna Hills, California, aged 87,. Widow of the 2nd Lord Essendon (Brian Lewis. the racing driver) whom she married in 1938 and who died in 1978, and previously wife of Albert Duffill. She was Mary, daughter of G.W. Booker, of Los Angeles.

-=-

-=-

Sunday February 8, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

5th Sunday after Epiphany

The pub with no beer. No pils left and the Old Brewery Bitter is down to 20 gallons, which we will need for Mr Copley's retirement party on Monday. Margaret M in at lunch. I have taken some stick about the beer. Old Wernher has a bloody cheek. He came here from Germany to bomb Coventry and then decided to stay, and has the nerve to criticise my pub. He'd now be pushing up the Russian daisies at Stalingrad if it wasn't for us British. Bastards. No staff tonight. But, first, at 3 this afternoon we went to Guiseley and to Sue's to plant a Christmas tree. Wind and rain. Sue looked enormous, and like poor Mum, broad across the beam. She saw Dr Glass yesterday ___________.We were back at the pub for 5:30.

Birthday fanfare for Reagan: by Hugh Davies in Washington: President Reagan celebrated his 76th birthday yesterday as the White House Marines band played him in to the party mood with the march 'seventy-six trombones'. 'Really, fellahs', said the smiling president, 'a simple chorus of Happy Birthday would have been sufficient.'

-=-

Saturday February 7, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

35 years ago today our Sovereign Lady was proclaimed throughout her Kingdoms. She's fresh back from Kenya, now 61, beloved by all, and growing old. No side saddle at this years Trooping the Colour, an open carriage like the Queen Mother. Not a whiff of abdication. 

Temple Newsam.

Margaret R appeared at 12 with a supposed kidney infection. _____. She was almost sacked and then I thought back to Karin Ireland, and refrained. This afternoon at 3 Ally dropped me off at Temple Newsam with the children and for a few hours we romped amongst the damp rhododendrons. Samuel racing around the ancient trees. Sadly, the farm was closed. The light soon faded and we were left in darkness with only the spotlights from the roof of the house to illuminate the situation. Samuel thought it a real adventure. He chased me with a big stick. Clemmie, in her pink layers, beneath plastic sheeting, looking wide-eyed. Ally came back at 5:20. Home for tea. Worked tonight. Margaret R again. The bearded 'Our Billy' from Spofforth stood at the bar drinking vodka and looking glum. At 10 Dad came in with John, an impromptu visit. We went upstairs and watched Dame Edna Everage until 2am. Clemmie cried at the sight of strange men drinking beer in her home. A petty little thing she is.

In the news: Duchess gets her wings - The Duchess of York is expected to pilot her husband when she flies in to collect her private pilot's licence from Mr Christopher Tugendhat , chairman of the Civil Aviation Authority on Thursday. The ceremony will take place in the main hanger at Oxford Airport, Kidlington, after a trip from RAF Benson, Oxon. The duchess is the first woman member of the royal family to have learned to fly.

Liberace burial halted by Aids check - Liberace's burial at Forest Lawn, Hollywood, will have to wait because the coroner has rejected his doctor's death certificate in order to find out if he died of Aids. A post-mortem examination may have to be performed.

-=-

Friday February 6, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

I spent the day in a state of some trepidation. For some reason I haven't ordered enough beer and my cellar looks positively empty. How awful. What will we do? Tonight was stone dead. Just Margaret M, Ally and I. We haven't heard anything of Gabrielle since our holiday and I do not expect ever to see the girl again. She is a Gemini.

Obituary: Lady Illingworth, who has died aged 86, was the indefatigable hostess at her historic Georgian house in Mayfair, 44 Grosvenor Square, the last privately owned house in the square which was disgracefully demolished in 1967 to make way for the new Britannia Hotel.... It was in the house's morning room in June, 1815, that the Cabinet, the guests at dinner of the 1st Earl of Harrowby, received the Duke of Wellington's victory despatch from Waterloo ....

The President of the United States is 76 today.

In the House of Lords: "Conditions in Letters Patent which prevent the eldest daughters from inheriting her father's hereditary peerage were a blatant discrimination against women, said Lord Diamond, chairman of the Social Democrat peers...

-=-

Thursday February 5, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Clemmie is so beautiful and female. She sits up - those lovely blue-grey eyes. So old fashioned.

Hectic. Can we afford £23 a week to educate Samuel privately? I hope so. We do not want agents of Kinnock getting their hands on our progeny. I could take anything from a child except left wing politics.

Margaret Rushton phoned in sick at 7. Or perhaps I should say her mother did. We were left 'staffless' on a pool night. The team from the George The Fourth came here with the usual camp followers. All Tetley women look like prostitutes, with flashed hair and bitten finger nails.

Ally says that one day we'll look back upon these hard-working times and laugh it off. God. It is such a wonderful experience all this.

From the Telegraph Peterborough column: Ouch! If proof were needed that nudists are a thick skinned lot, I learn that delegates attending a meeting of the Federation Naturiste Internationale  in Dublin this Spring  are to be issued with pin-fixed identification badges.

Sapper: Wylie.

Obituary: George Wylie, a sapper who saved St Paul's Cathedral during the 1939-45 War but sold his George Cross in a spirit of disillusionment  two years ago, has died in Bow. He was 77. Wylie was a member of a bomb disposal squad after a heavy night's bombing  on September 12, 1940, when he spotted a one-ton explosive 27ft below Dean's Yard. For three days despite a burning gas main and fears that the bomb which was sinking in the clay soil could explode, Wylie played a vital part in its removal. When it was taken to Hackney Marshes its deliberate explosion caused a 100ft crater. Wylie was one of the first three to be awarded the George Cross after its institution by King George VI ....

-=-

Wednesday February 4, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

The usual frantic sort of day. Work, work, work, &c. Tonight Mags worked from 8 and I joined in Alan Batey's quiz and partnered poor Mary Knight. She is so embarrassed about her relationship to our cig machine bandit. We won and I gave the £5 winnings to Mary for something for Sarah-Jane, 2. 

We have a letter from St Edmund's Hall Prep School re an open day on March 4, prior to Sam's entry into school life on April 28. We were thinking it would be September. 

Frank and Bessie have gone to Tenerife, Islas Canarias for 2 weeks.

In the news: Liberace, the flamboyant American popular pianist who has died aged 67, was the world's single highest paid performer throughout the 1960s and 1970s.

Demolition for Royal lodge: A Victorian hunting lodge once considered by the Queen as a wedding gift to the Prince and Princess of Wales has been offered to the Army to dispose of in a demolition exercise. The 12-bedroom Delnadamph Lodge, adjoining Balmoral estate in the Highlands, has been empty since it was bought by the Queen for £1 million 10 years ago. The property came with 7,000 acres and several cottages.

Lady Rendlesham, who has died in her sixties, was (as Clare Rendlesham) the doyenne of London fashion retailing and in 1969 had the distinction of opening Rive Gauche, Yves St Laurent's first franchise in London. 

-=-

Tuesday February 3, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Ally is livid at LG's attitude. He has obviously phoned Bonnie & Clyde and discussed the diluted spirits, and it has caused irritation. Apparently, he needs this nauseating couple. He says that nothing can be proved at this stage anyway, and he laughed it off. We are out of favour most definitely. 

Today. Hungover. The draymen woke me at 7:30. I have been over doing it with the orders in recent weeks and and so they dropped only a little. No doubt we'll be dry by Saturday. Buggered. Maureen opened up until 8 and then just Ally and I did the remainder. Liz has asked for a reference.

From the Daily Telegraph, Peterborough column, I think: Hard to crack -- LAST week's Surrey Comet reported: 'A cement mixer was stolen from Birkenhead Road in Kingston on Tuesday night. A police spokesman said yesterday "there was nothing concrete to go on".

-=-

Monday February 2, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Ally spoke to Leslie Gledhill, who was very casual and 'laid back' about our diluted Bacardi. Annoying really. He was more concerned about how much they had taken over the counter. The reliefs did £2,700 last week. To the General Elliot at 6. The couple at the Raynville, Bramley, have been dismissed, but are refusing to quit the premises, hence this new venue for a meeting. It was a long meeting. We drank until 9 with the Darringtons, so very nice and normal - she especially so. Saw Ann Revell too, who was stunned beyond belief that 'Our Billy', as she calls him, is dating Margaret Rushton. We invited them back to the Moorhouse and surprisingly they agreed. Ann came for an hour or so, but the Darringtons were here until 12:30, going home in a taxi. Dearest Marjorie (our former barmaid) was babysitting.

From the Daily Telegraph: Safe hands? Passengers on a Qantas flight from Bombay to London the other day were greeted with this announcement from the flight steward: "I would give you the emergency safety instructions but I'm afraid the tape machine has broken down." He paused, and went on "never mind, I'll read them manually."

The Americans seem to have great difficulty in understanding Thomas a' Becket's place in history. Following my note about the tourist in Canterbury Cathedral who wanted to know where Becket had been shot, a former chorister assures me that he was approached some years ago by an American who asked: 'Say, can you show me the spot where Joe Beckett was knocked out?' Joe, as boxing fans will recall, was not a saint but a heavyweight champion of the 1920s. 

-=-

Sunday February 1, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

4th Sunday after Epiphany

Thick frost. A rough night with Clemmie. I was up at 4:30 watching Damien: Omen II - a murder every 45 seconds or so. A 'full-English' and then over to the paper shop with Samuel, a precocious beast. Later, two Margarets worked and we escaped to Harewood House. The grounds were open today for the first time this year. St George's flag was fluttering above, and the lake was frozen solid and no amount of sticks and stones thrown in by Samuel would break the surface. Back at 4. Watched a chunk of 'Omen II' (tape) that I missed in the small hours. Dined on fish. Watched part II of 'Bertram's Hotel' at bedtime. Dear old Joan Hickson is an excellent Miss Jane Marple.

From the News of the World: Princess Margaret's son Viscount Linley is to marry his long-time lover Susannah Constantine. He has already been secretly shopping for an antique engagement ring with his sister Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones.

-=-

Saturday January 31, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ 

A trying day . A police constable (PC Bassey 1711) came at 8:30 as I was feeding the children. Ally having a laker. Simultaneously, a washing machine repair man appeared, and Samuel fell down and cut his lip. Oh, dear. The PC was told that Anthony Cheetham, 24, was responsible for the recent bout of cigarette machine thefts. The police constable was beaming. Obviously, the Cheetham guy has 'previous'. He wanted some concrete proof, an eye witness, &c. My only hope is old Ada Dickinson, a terrified rabbit and octogenarian. Later in the day after talking to Ada I phoned the police to be told that they were holding someone for my robberies in the cells. Such joy. Sue phoned. She's seeing Dr Glass on Thursday ____. Messy business. Went to a managers meeting at the General Elliot on Vicar Lane. Bev came to babysit. Awful night. Tony Cheetham the sole topic of conversation. To bed at 1:15.

-=-

Friday January 30, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, &c

It was 'one of those days'. We were still complaining about the relief couple when I noted that a Bacardi bottle on the optics looked odd so much so that I took it down and found  another bottle from the cellar to compare. My worst fears were realised. They have watered down the spirits. Not only are Golding & Jones squalid they are also thieving bastards. Ally phoned LG who wasn't in, and spoke to Mr Cawood, who showed some concern and said he will inform LG on Monday. What else in our tavern is let down with Co2? The mind boggles. Clementine was a picture today sitting in her pram and giggling, playing at peeping and chewing her toy keys. Baby has actually slept better. The screaming banshee of County Durham is now a blue-eyed slumbering cherub. Aly took Sam to a pet shop to buy seed for Reg (the budgie) and to a wallpaper shop (??) and to the local old people's home which he calls 'the pantomime' because he remembers the Christmas 'do' they laid on for the kids at nursery - "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Tonight. I opened at 6pm. Oh, and yet another cigarette machine 'vanished' last week, and Tony Cheetham has been openly selling cigs in the Junction this very afternoon. I phoned the police today and the policeman involved will contact me tomorrow. I want 'Cheesy' behind bars. He is of course the father of Mary Knight's granddaughter. Anyway, at 8 in walked 'Cheesy' and I immediately clotched him. He went away threatening to raise the establishment to the ground calling me a 'dick head' as he left. Then, Gabrielle's French mother phoned to say the girl had just fainted and would be unable to work tonight. Just Mags in. Ally came down looking lovely. And so a pleasant time.

From the Daily Telegraph: Maj Hugh Charles Lyttelton Lindsay, 9th/12th Royal Lancers, is engaged to Sarah Patricia Brennan.

Eva, Countess of Rosebery, who has died aged 94, was the key figure in the founding of the Edinburgh International Festival after the 1939-45 War ... &c.

-=-

Thursday January 29, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

A historic day. Michael Lawrence, dear reader, went to a blood transfusion centre and did give up - nay sacrifice - a pint of his precious blood - so that others might live. Dad will be so chuffed. He's a gold medallist having donated blood for 30 years. It was a day of slagging off the Golding and Jones couple. Margaret Rushton was in tears at their behaviour. The woman was knocking back the brandy and Babychams before 11 o'clock. Gabrielle reports that the intoxicated couple were swearing, fighting and beating the hell out of each other one night. Taking holidays in this business are simply not worth it. Our flat is very tacky today. None of the doors fit in their casings. The walls are awash and stained with beer. Roy Barnes warned me that she (the relief) would be hitting the bottle. Just Ally and I tonight. Alan had a quiz game.

-=-

Wednesday January 28, 1987

 Waltergarth, Horton-in-Ribblesdale

We got up at 6:30 and had a cooked breakfast with Dad, who has this off to a fine art. Clemmie ate crusts of brown bread with relish. I had a very 'thick' head and slumped over the table. I always return from holiday looking half dead. We left at 8. Dad is going to the dentist at Rawdon and then on to Cambridge to his brother John and Sheila's. He has drawn to his brothers and sister and to our detriment. It's not jealousy by any means, but I think that in his grief he has returned to his childhood affections, those that are pre-Nora. I suppose this is normal. We drove back to Leeds. Ally the only conscious occupant of the car. Back to the Moorhouse at 9:30. Our departing stock take was £148 up. Phew. Ronnie didn't come until 10:45. The relief managers Golding & Jones have a £124 deficit. They were filthy pigs. The flat is very shabby. The catering kitchen absolutely filthy, covered in grease and fungus. Rotting veg, &c. Their bed was still made up. This is unprecedented. Even Ron Brook stripped the beds of dirty linen. Cig ends everywhere. The house plants dead. The washing machine damaged. No doors now close properly. Filthy cloths everywhere. How disgusting. Ally is livid and went on about them all day. The cash was wrong and fiddles abound. Watered down orange juice &c. The optics had been tampered with. Funny to be back, really. Tom Kennedy and Pat Johnson died last week. Margaret Rushton has ducked out of work a few times. Margaret M says she didn't see 'eye to eye' with 'Bonnie' Jones. Jack Collett told me that barmaid Gabrielle wants to quit. Samuel was hysterical al day. No nursery. Clemmie screamed all day too, and did so until 11:45pm/ I had a haircut at 4pm.

Dead: Sir Ian Auld Mactaggart, Bt, on January 27. 

From the Telegraph: "That plaintive publication Singles, offers this month the following catch: "Sagittarian, 46, divorced, fleeced, limp [walks with], failing eyesight, been doctored, shares Quasimodo's tailor, bitter, temporary mysogonist, recently mugged, answers to the name Lucky. Requires pleasant , slim lady, 35-40, to restore faith in women ... Sense of humour and bike essential."

Letter to the Editor: Question of Degree

Sir- Can anyone explain why the media use Centigrade for temperatures in the winter [still below zero etc] and Fahrenheit in the summer [80 degrees - phew what a scorcher!] - Robert Salter, Kenley, Surrey.

-=-

Tuesday January 27, 1987

 Bradley Burn, Co Durham

Clemmie and Teddy.

We packed and left Bradley Burn at 12. Our electricity bill was £23 which Mrs Stephenson was over the top, but we thought reasonable. We said goodbye to the cat that has the continuing hanging out tongue. Aids, perhaps? We drove via Barnard Castle to Richmond, Aysgarth, Hawes and to Horton-in-Ribblesdale for 3pm. Dad was pottering around cooking a meal with the radio blasting at full throttle. He is so eccentric these days. He infuriated Ally and I and I was 'on edge' for some reason. We hear of Arnold's funeral. A packed crem. Someone stood up and read "If" by Rudyard Kipling. Dad weeps at this poem at the best of times. Arnold kept a journal and it revealed that only a few days before his demise he wrote that when he eventually collapsed that no 'do gooder' would resuscitate him. He wanted to go, I think. This death has hit Dad very badly. We ate and then put the children to bed. Samuel proud in a large double bed in his own room. We sat watching 'Goldfinger' drinking the remnants of our whisky. We bought Dad underwear for Christmas and he had to bugger around swapping the items at Debenham's. He disappeared into his room and then emerged clad in the garments to give us a fashion display. Ally averted her eyes. We went to our beds at 10:30. Clemmie was a piglet and refused to sleep. She is sitting up now, by the way.

News from the Daily Telegraph: The Duke of Kent yesterday took the oath of allegiance in the Lords to enable him to be the Duke of York's sponsor when he is introduced in the House.

Mr Younger, Defence Secretary, confirmed to MPs last night that he had set up an inquiry into the leaking of a letter from Prince Philip to the Commandant-General of the Royal Marines about Prince Edward's resignation from the Corps.

The Marquess of Huntly, who has died aged 78, was premier Marquess of Scotland and did homage on behalf of the marquesses at the Coronation of King George VI in 1937.

-=-

Monday January 26, 1987

 Kilmacolm to Bradley Burn

We went back to Durham where Samuel requested fish and chips in newspaper by the river. He loved the experience and so did I. Clemmie had a mad morning in her pram and so our visit was as pleasurable as the one on Tuesday. Home via a car wash at Crook - Sam's face was a picture. Dined on trout (me) and steak (Ally) tonight, but Clemmie wailed throughout. The joys of parenthood. Candlelit dinners are not what they were. 

Society engagements: The Earl of Dundonald and Beatrice Russo, and the Earl of Macduff and Caroline Bunting.  In the Daily Telegraph we are told that "two million Britons could be dead or dying from Aids by the turn of the century, according to a report by Dr Martin Schweiger, a community physician working in Leeds". 

Cannon Law: overheard the other day in Canterbury Cathedral: an American tourist making enthusiastic inquiries about the cathedral's history. "And where exactly," he asked, "was Thomas a' Becket shot?"

-=-

Sunday January 25, 1987

 Kilmacolm

3rd Sunday after Epiphany

Lynn is very flippant about Aids. "Oh, it's no concern of mine." She tore up the government leaflet on the disease without reading it, for instance. I do not subscribed to this. In ten years time she will have two teenage daughters, juices flowing, and open to danger. It's no joke. We went to the park in Kilmacolm. Not like Scotland in the Stranraer sense, more like Harrogate. David has selected a good spot for his new erection, surrounded by mature Scots pines. However, a council estate looms at the rear. "I suppose they have to live somewhere", said Lynn, in a Marie Antoinette sort of way. She isn't a snob in the way that I am. She doesn't approve of private education, for instance. "All that gingham", she sniffed. We bid our farewells and left at 1pm. A long journey. Samuel wet his pants and walked around Alston, legs akimbo, in obvious discomfort. Back to the cottage for 5 o'clock after several stops for milk, papers, &c. Ally totally exhausted took to her bed at 8:30 after "At Bertram's Hotel" part 1 by A. Christie (Dame). I lingered with the Sunday mags and a drink. Clemmie did her 'Sarah Bernhardt routine' well into the small hours.

-=-

Saturday January 24, 1987

 Kilmacolm

with Sam at Largs.

The garlic bread continues. Tea in bed - a luxury. Joined by Frances and Katie - the latter with china blue eyes like my dead mum. Went downstairs to a 'full-English'. Ally and I were laughing amidst the bedding at the way Lynn was talking to David, who had alighted into the bathroom shower at peak bathroom time, 9am. "You're a joke, David", she ejaculated. It was reassuring for Ally, who said: "See. I am not the only one to nag". The vacuum cleaner was humming before I climbed out of bed. 'Houseproudaphilia'. To Largs. Fog. Looked at Tay sites. Fed large, ugly swans. Discussed condoms. Had lasagne. Sitting room session this evening. Whisky bottle. TV. Whisky. Dame Edna Everage's 1984 TV chat show. More condom talk.

Daily Telegraph obit: "Dame Ann Parker Bowles, who has died aged 68, was Chief Commissioner of the Girl Guides from 1966 to 1975 and ably led the movement through the only significant changes since its foundation. She received the Silver Fish, the highest award, in 1969."

Daily Telegraph: "From the Bournemouth Evening Echo. "A blaze ripped through a Bournemouth store early today causing damage estimated at £10,000. The cause of the fire, at Harpers, Westover Road, is still being investigated ... a clairvoyant at the store George Lucas, said he did not predict the blaze because 'Sunday's are my day off.'"

-=-

Friday January 23, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

Kilmacolm.

Spent the morning preparing to travel to Scotland. Packing the car took Ally hours. Of course, I am not allowed to touch any of the packing. Ally is very fastidious about the positioning of things in the car boot. We left at 12. (David B's detailed map having arrived today by post). We crossed to Carlisle and then up the motorway to Glasgow and on to Kilmacolm, where Lynn and Dave have lived since November 26, 1986. David, an architect with Tay Homes, has now 'metamorphisised' into a company director of Tay Homes (Scotland). They staying only temporarily in a large but cowboy erected converted house on the Tay Homes estate within view of the site where they are to build David a large detached house of his own design. What luck, eh? They look affluent. Lynn has a short 'Sheena Easton' haircut and wears leather gear.________. The children are lovely. Thomas is a bundle of trouble. Samuel, yet again, is ecstatic. We ate shepherd's pie. Lynn has discovered garlic bread. David came in at 6 and when all the children were bedded we sat and watched TV. 'Papillon (1973). We had such a good discussion. The first in years. Guiseley was obviously too close.

A Daily Telegraph obit for Sir Graeme Finlay 'the distinguished jurist who has died aged 69, may have the melancholy distinction of being the last person ever to be created a baronet.'

-=-

Thursday January 22, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

Durham Cathedral.

A bright, crisp sort of day. We went to Durham. Our first visit to this ancient city and we were very impressed. We had never imagined it to be old, walled, and dominated by a cathedral. We were expecting something like Barnsley. Samuel was full of himself and excited by the adventure. We took him into the cathedral where he proceeded to give a guided tour to a bemused pair of students. We closely inspected the tomb of St Cuthbert, and fondled several marble memorials. Sam took a shine to an effigy of the Duke of Wellington's brother. The only fly in the ointment is the knowledge that David Jenkins is the Lord Bishop herein. He is such a toe-rag. We took to the shops. The Swan and Three Cygnets, a Sam Smith's house hugging the river seemed desirable. The city crawls with students which must be good for barrelage. We sat on a damp bench near the river throwing chunks to the gulls. Samuel insisted on calling them 'gulls'. I am no ornithologist. We phoned Susan from a coin box in the cloisters of the cathedral to be told that Papa is at Hilda and Tony's. We wanted the route to Kilmacolm spelling out to us. You know what we are like with our poor sense of direction. Phoned Lynn too, but was cut off.

-=-

Wednesday January 21, 1987

 Granary Cottage, &c

Mild day. Some sunshine. I now sit and eat breakfast with trepidation. Will Mrs Stephenson, the Angel of Death, come across in her wellies, with more tales of doom and gloom? This morning we went to Stanhope and Eggleston, over the moors, and down to Barnard Castle and to Prestos. Shopping in the high street. Samuel kept escaping. Back for 2. Sam and I cleaned the car, and he kicked a cat around the yard. Such a bully.

Poor Uncle Arnold was cremated at Elland at noon. _____. I did think of my poor Rhodes cousins.

A letter in the Daily Telegraph from Brian J. Dunleavy, in Cardiff, caught my eye: "I am reminded of a comment made by a German journalist during the Yorkshire Ripper trial. 'Why is it in your country that when you talk to God you call it praying and when he talks to you you call it schizophrenia..."

-=-

Tuesday January 20, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

Roy.

At 11 we set off for Middlesbrough where we found the Linthorpe Hotel demolished. A total ruin. The pub is trading from the tap room only and clouds of cement dust wafted across the Cleveland skies. Saw the barmaids Sally (just sacked), Rose and Carol. Roy was upstairs with Tim (ex relief, see 1983), who left as we arrived. Roy is such a character. He gave us coffee and we discussed business. Over Christmas and New Year he took £35,000. Oh, God. Marie was in Darlington sorting out Mags, who has left Mr Gaskin, taking with her the eight month old Sarah-Jane, &c. Sam played with Sam, the dog, and Saxon, who is an evil canine and was soon locked away in the kitchen. On to Yarm shopping. Phoned Dad at Janette's. He's going to Arnold's funeral with John & Janette. Uncle John is home from Lanzarote. Harry and Bert are attending too. A proper reunion.

-=-

Monday January 19, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

Uncle Arnold.

Over boiled eggs at 9:30 Mrs Stephenson came to the cottage asking me to phone Dad immediately because "your uncle has died". Oh God. I put on my wellies and went to phone Dad at Horton. Uncle Arnold collapsed and died while shovelling snow last Thursday over in Halifax. Judith had gone to see him and was clearing the snow from his drive. He insisted on helping her but within minutes he was down and out. Dead on arrival, &c. Dad kept saying 'Poor Bill' over and over. (Arnold was always known as Bill, by his siblings). So very sad that he is gone. Dead at 54. We only saw him a week ago. The funeral is fixed for Wednesday. He is going with John and I made my excuses. Under normal circumstances I would have attended but I cannot cart the kids from County Durham to Halifax and back again. We went to Bishop Auckland. Biting cold. 

-=-

Sunday January 18, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

2nd Sunday after Epiphany

A restful day. Ally and Samuel went into Wolsingham for newspapers and for the remainder of the day we sat by the fire playing with Lego, building cars, garages and dogs. Samuel beside himself with excitement and is a non-stop chatterer. 

The newspapers are a disgrace. The News of the World headlines: "RAT ROMY TWO-TIMES PRINCE WIMPO" - referring to Miss Romy Adlington, from Micheldever, a 20 year-old friend of Prince Edward, now labelled 'Wimpo' for resigning his commission in the Royal Marines.

The Sunday Times is full of the Guinness business. City affairs go over my head.

-=-

Saturday January 17, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn

The freeze continues. The papers are full of nonsense about Barbara Barnes leaving the Royal nursery. What a spoilt little swine Prince William is, they say. How awful. Adulation one minute and hatred the next. What a dreadful Press we have.

-=-

Friday January 16, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Wolsingham

Sub-zero conditions continue. We drove to Crook, where Ally bought three litres of wine and Samuel attempted to do some shoplifting in Boots. Stuffing mars bars into his pockets and flashing his big brown eyes at the hard north east shopping assistant. The newspapers have stories of Barbara Barnes quitting the royal nursery. All saying that Prince William is a 'spoilt' little boy. How awful. Adulation one minute, hatred the next. What a Press we have.

Much needed books: The diaries of Sir Alan Lascelles

                                   The diaries of Hugh Dalton

                                   The complete diaries of Samuel Pepys

What is the collective noun for someone who collects other peoples diaries?

Graham phoned Mrs Stephenson at 9:30am and asked us to contact him before 10. Ally was upstairs having 40 winks. I was making breakfast. Obviously, I feared the worst that perhaps Frank had gone down into the foaming brine en route to Jersey, or some similar tragedy. Ally was similarly perturbed and she hurriedly dressed, wellies too, and down to the farmhouse she went. She returned saying Graham wanted to come here with Gill, and the boys for the weekend. We do not have room to swing a cat here. Had we been staying in a bigger place it would have been fine.

-=-

Thursday January 15, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn &c

We went out to Wolsingham to buy a ton of provisions from a 'supermarket' unchanged since 1956. Deep snow. We went into a pub and phoned Dad. He wasn't at home. Phoned Sue to say we had arrived safely. I made lunch which took me hours. Britain is shivering in Arctic conditions. Wind, &c. Weather dominating the news makes a change from all this talk about AIDS.

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Wednesday January 14, 1987

 Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn DL14 0PU

Full Moon

The snow continued to fall and we were house-bound. Ally, the angel, had the good sense to bring a tin of corned beef and other provisions because no way could we have gone out. Samuel sat on a window sill watching a farmer in a tractor clearing the snow. The Stephensons have a daughter at public school in Harrogate.

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Tuesday January 13, 1987

Granary Cottage, Bradley Burn, Wolsingham, Bishop Auckland

I went out snow shovelling this morning. Will we be able to make it to Wolsingham? The relief managers came, named Golding & Jones, from Birmingham. Golding & Jones? Sounds like a Tamla Motown  singing duo. The are not married. Does Humphrey Smith know they are living in sin? He is bearded and fat. She has peroxide hair and looks shifty. Poor Moorhouse. The stock taker, Crump, a cold, odd man, brought no machine with him and so we left at 1pm without a stock result. I will not worry, but I would have preferred to leave with a result. Heavy snow. A precarious journey north. Up the A1, which was clear of snow, and we turned off at Piecebridge, where the road became steadily worse. Ally wanted to drive and I was in the back clutching a snoring Clementine. Sam, watching from his car seat, became perturbed and was was convinced we were going to collide with another car. Our drive took us to West Auckland and past Raby Castle. All new scenery to me. Treacherous conditions when we arrived at Wolsingham. A Mrs Stephenson was waiting for us showering great praise on Ally's motoring prowess. Later, the road leading to Alston, was closed. Our place, Granary Cottage, is a converted granary (surely not?), and looks better from the outside. It's too 'new'. A real coal fire though. The bedrooms are no bigger than cupboards, but oh the peace and quiet. Ecstasy. A night watching the snow fall, bathing the children, sipping whisky and watching TV. Wednesday was similar.

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Monday January 12, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Our little Samuel is three today. He bounded into our room early for presents and cards. We didn't go berserk with gifts - so soon after the Christmas excesses - mainly clothes, but good clothes. He knocks around in shirts and pants more expensive than mine. He had a party at nursery today - a cake and buns with Dermot and the Ladybirds. He came home at 4 wearing a large hat and with chocolate all over his face. Oh, to be 3. Heavy snow tonight. It was bitterly cold. Gabrielle worked and only just made it here in the blizzard. Clemmie was squealing away and so Ally brought her downstairs. The pub was dead but Clemmie entertained Jack Collett, Tommo and Pam. We go on holiday tomorrow. Bliss.

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Sunday January 11, 1987

Samuel (1987).

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

1st Sunday after Epiphany

Samuel's party. Pub packed. Snow. Guests came at 2pm. Karen, Jill, Tim, Steve, Hayley, Thomas, Sue, Pete, Christopher, Ben, Mantha, Dad, who brought Arnold, Janet, Judith, Roger, Dorothy - thin and old - Les, and Guy. Graham Rhodes followed on later. Our lounge upstairs was packed and flowing with Liebfraumilch. Sadly, the children's party was pushed a bit into the background with the influx of a plethora of aged adults, but a cake was lit and a tea party atmosphere persisted. The aunts and uncles left after an hour or so. We did have a quick chat with Judith and Roger. The Sandersons stayed until after 9.

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Saturday January 10, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Samuel is having his third birthday party tomorrow and in a routine phone call to Papa he announced that Dot, Les, Arnold and Janet, and Guy Holland are staying at Horton and he probably won't make it to the soiree. Such disappointment. He was also supposed to be bringing Sue, Pete and Co from Guiseley. We fume. Dad doesn't see that we want him to be with us in his capacity of much loved grandfather. Samuel will be disappointed. I phoned Susie and offered to pick her up at 11 tomorrow. Ally hates diversions to our plans.

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Friday January 9, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

It's all fixed. We are going to County Durham next Tuesday for 2 weeks. A converted granary at Bradley Burn, Wolsingham, Bishop Auckland. Everyone thinks we are mad. Durham in January. Why not Capri or Benidorm? Oh, no. Life isn't so cut and dried. We just need the rest. Four walls, a bed and no hand pumps, bar staff, or Joe Public. To me Durham sounds like heaven. Snow is coming too, ony let us get to our retreat first. Madge appeared with £15 cake arrears for June.

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Thursday January 8, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Railway Inn.

Last night we the quiz team went to Spofforth with a coach load of our lounge types to the Railway Inn (Miss Anne Revell). We won. I was in the team. Ally a scorer. Such a popular night. Beware: I have promised to dine with Doreen and Terry in February. ____________.

The Earl of Macduff, a direct legitimate descendant of King Edward VII, is engaged.

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Wednesday January 7, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Prince Edward quits marines.

Cop a load of this about Prince Edward. Obviously it means curtains for the armed services and I back HRH all the way. Why should all the males of our Royal House always have to give such a macho image? Leaping from planes and running with Gurkhas, &? Why is it always a military career for 10 years or so? Princess Anne went straight from school into the royal routine, and just look at the Duke of Gloucester. He even wears spectacles. He doesn't give a sod.

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Tuesday January 6, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Obituary. Viscount Lifford.

Epiphany

Feast of the Epiphany. We Three Kings of Orient Are, &c.

Excuse the news cuttings (glued herein). It is the new lay-out of my 1987 journal. Better than nothing. Starved of my Burke's Peerage I'll glue appropriate cuttings here from the Daily Telegraph. I've been too bust to keep an old style diary since the arrival of Clementine. Life's been so frantic and running at a fast pace. Will I see 32? 

Leslie Gledhill came in beaming & joyful. Our Christmas takings were fantastic.

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