Saturday March 21, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

As you have no doubt fathomed by now our plans to move from the Moorhouse have grounded on the rocks of apathy. We didn't even bother to apply for the Pig & Whistle because Scunthorpe is no different to Leeds. Since then we have received two interesting circulars - the Botolph Arms near Peterborough - a " restaurant" according to LG, and today Ye Olde White Horse at Spalding, Lincs. Bulb country. Green wellies, &c. Dad phoned tonight and asked Ally if I am unwell because I haven't phoned him since before Monday at least. His guesthouse is currently overrun with army majors, and he is morbidly waiting for the anniversary of Uncle Arnold's 55th birthday on Monday. Well, not morbidly exactly, but it is at the forefront of his mind. Margaret Isabella worked at lunch. Ally and Samuel went to Morrison's. He is a good boy these days and doesn't escape. I took Clemmie downstairs at 3 and some hideously grimacing, gurning customers crowded around her and reduced her to tears. In the screaming and gurgling chaos she clung to me and snuggled close. "Oh, she's a daddy's girl, they always are", came to response. Just Ally and I tonight. Dead.

Duc de Broglie.

WH Smith's new computer, christened Bookfinder, was being shown off at the company's Swindon offices when it was asked to find a book with the word "cat" or "dog" in its title. The machine excelled. "Catholic Dogma", it suggested.

The Duc de Broglie, who has died aged 94, was a giant in the field of physics whose 1924 PhD thesis played a leading part in the development of quantum mechanics. In Paris he was popularly regarded as France's answer to Einstein.

-=-

Friday March 20, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Peter.

Peter James Nason is 29 today. Janette suggested that they should all come here, but we didn't expect a visit. Leeds is far too distant for remote country Guiseley dwellers. Spoke to Pete tonight. He was taking Sue to the Hare & Hounds for dinner. Julie was babysitting. I haven't spoken to Dad all week. Our phone was incapacitated for three days and besides, he never ever rings me. I   renounced Ayingerbrau lager because of my spreading girth, which revolts me. In bygone days I could stand nude before a mirror for hours admiring my lean, yet comely frame. Now I shoot past wobbling everywhere, rolls of white dimpled flesh, &c. The author of this journal is 32 and takes no exercise. It's not that I eat too much I'm sure.

From last week's Western Gazette. "Wanted , full-sized Globe of the World on stand or similar. Good price paid ..."

Simon Brett , who has spent many hours trawling through diaries by Pepys, Queen Victoria, Evelyn Waugh and other daily writers for his new "Book of Diaries", keep a diary himself. He tells the writer of the Telegraph Peterborough column: "Took kids to school, worked on book, had lunch, worked on book, collected kids, had dinner, watched TV". And it's the same every day.

Brig. Ian Macalister, the 13th Laird of Achnacone, Argyllshire, who has died aged 91, was the first British officer to land on French soil and the first to be mentioned in despatches in 1914.

Sir Michael Gore-Booth, Bt, who has died aged 78, was the invalid ward of court whose 3,000-acrre estate at Lissadell, Co. Sligo, was the subject of a celebrated court case. [see detail in journal].

-
=-

Thursday March 19, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Clemmie.

Clemmie has cut her first tooth. Ally thought she could feel it yesterday and today I felt the tiny thing whilst giving her luncheon. [Milupa 'Spring veg']. How they grow up. Thank God her eyes are bright blue. I am sure that one day she will be stunning and hopefully break a lot hearts. But not mine. Tired. We run this vast bulwark with next to no staff hours.

Four members of the Royal family are to take part in a televised "It's a Knock Out" tournament for charity on June 15. The day of royal fun and games at Alton Towers leisure park Staffordshire was dreamed up by Prince Edward who has persuaded Princess Anne and the Duke and Duchess of York to captain international teams of personalities from the world of showbusiness and sport.

-=-

Wednesday March 18, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Cheltenham Races. I do not usually talk about sport or enthuse in any way which is a pity. Joe House came in, almost suicidal, because a female jockey had won a race at Cheltenham. "Women cannot be jockeys", he scowled through his red hamster cheeks. Women cannot be, a]. Bishops, b]. Priests, c]. Jockeys, d]. Bus drivers, e]. elephant trainers. Leslie Gledhill came in very grumpy and down. He is going on holiday next week and cannot wait. The brewery has just appointed another woman area manager. He went away looking low. Things so easily get him down. Janette phoned for news of any scandal from Tony's party. John heard from Peter M that we had been ejected at 3am and that Christopher had slammed the door and left in disgust. Dear me. I must have over done things. Just Ally and I worked tonight. Terry did a quiz.

-=-

Tuesday March 17, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

St Patrick

Up at 7:50 very hungover to find Bev waiting for her lift to Roundhay. I went down in my old battered dressing gown to phone a taxi but Bev insisted on going by bus. She is a saint. Ally suggests we buy her some pesetas. [She goes to Ibiza, 6/4/87]. This is a good idea because she always declines offers of cash from me. Awful day. I am constantly reminded by Ally of my naughty antics. Sliding down banisters and groping _______. I am always very predictable, consisted, call it what you will. On Tony's 30th I had the same impact. Mr Lawson's Budget. No beer up. No cig price increase, &c. An election on June 11? We'll see.

Helen Lightbody, who has died aged 79, was the redoubtable nanny of the Prince of Wales until her retirement from royal service in 1956. A strapping Scotswoman with a broad, open countenance and beetle eyebrows, Helen Lightbody was a spinster, but in accordance with custom was accorded the courtesy title of 'Mrs'.

-=-

Monday March 16, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Tony.

The 40th birthday of Anthony Ronald Brotherwood. Bev came at 6 much to Samuel's delight, and after a minor drama when the hairdryer conked out, we escaped at 7:30 to the Old Red Lion, where we chatted with the new landlord [serving his three customers]. He says he took £34 this afternoon. We have never been so quiet or as bad as that. On to the Penny Fun in Moortown for 8. As usual John and Janette were an hour late. "We don't want to go to Tony's too early", said John, and so we were there until about 10. On to Ringwood Avenue. _______. The place was packed. I didn't get much chance to speak to Tony or his ____ wife Margaret, but I chatted to Michelle [ex WH Smiths] , Chris, Pete M, &c. John and Janette were strangely quiet and left at about midnight. The Coles were there. I consumed much gin and became my usual silly self. Quite OTT splashing wine everywhere, doing handstands and ________. Wow. The modern mid-twenties single girl does come across as tarty, over-painted, over confident and quite frightening. Picking girls up in clubs must be quite awful nowadays. Tony managed to get rid of us at about 3am with the words "you can't carry on like this and at this hour on a Monday. _____. Last out with us were the Coles, Chris, Pete, Michelle and three of her friends.

The Sunday Telegraph reveals, much to my relief, that the great Victoria had little time for Victorian values because she was far too busy enjoying sex, pouring whisky in her tea, and swapping saucy pictures with Prince Albert. Thank God that at least one author intends to paint a less sombre picture of Her Majesty, even if it has to come from an American biographer.

Sunday March 15, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

2nd Sunday in Lent

Temple Newsam.

We phoned Susan early on and told her we would take the Nasons out for the afternoon. She didn't enthuse but we insisted. Over to see Mum's grave and then to Sue's for 12 with every intention of taking them to the Royalty for a few drinks and a roll in the mud but she was snappy and insisted we stay for a stew and Yorkshire puddings. At one point I looked at my watch and she screamed: "For God's sake, go to the bloody pub. I don't care." Is this the Sue we know and love? However, after our lunch we all did go to the Royalty for a drink and then on in the direction of Temple Newsam, where we looked at the farm and strolled around the park. The children loved it but Sue just wasn't herself at all. Stress must be the thing. She is so irritable with everyone. Surely, Peter cannot be all that bad? On to John's for 10 minutes at 5 o'clock. We arranged to meet at the Penny Fun, at Sainsbury's at Moortown tomorrow at 8. Just Ally and I worked this evening.

The former SDP leader Roy Jenkins received the consolation prize of a lifetime yesterday when he was elected  the new Chancellor of Oxford University, succeeding the late Lord Stockton. An unprecedented turnout of 8,309 Oxford graduates gave Mr Jenkins victory, with historian Lord Blake, Provost of Queen's College in second place and Mr Edward Heath third. The Midlands GP Dr Mark Payne received just 38 votes.

One of the finest collection of clocks in private hands goes on permanent show at Lyme Park, in Cheshire, early next month when the National Trust opens the house for the summer season. It was formed by Sir Francis Legh, who died in 1984. A private secretary to the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret, he shared a passion for clocks with his elder brother the present Lord Newton. Among the treasures in the collection are three by Tompion and one by Fromanteel. Francis was the last Legh to be christened in the chapel at Lyme, his family home for six centuries. Like so many other second sons he conceived a particular love for a property that could never be his. The collection will be handed over to Lyme on April 3, by Legh's two children Nicholas, a banker, and Laura, married to Lord Weinstock's son, Simon.

 -=-

Saturday March 14, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

We are such abnormal little people. Who else but we, the Rhodeses of the Moorhouse, would breakfast together, the father dressed as a jungle dweller in a ladies wig and green Wellington boots labelleld L and R, and then go along en masse, to a religious bookshop at Middleton, where I, the father, administered a large kiss and read a sickly poem to a poor 40 year-old with a familiar face [It transpires she works on the check-outs at Morrison's]. Poor Ally and the children sat in the heavily populated shop - strangely heavily populated with giggling housewives of no apparent religious leanings, call it what you will. I did my bit with a powerful delivery and the earnest Caroline was beside herself with glee and excitement. I think she set me up for this Tarzan event purely for her own pleasure. She is _____ a female Uriah Heap. She then said she had another friend who is also celebrating. I felt somewhat exploited when I was asked to do a double and give a 50 year-old dancing class instructor the surprise of her life too. Prostitution must feel quite similar. Back at the Moorhouse for 11am where Mum looked bemused. Margaret R phoned to say she couldn't get here for 12. Well, it was Margaret's 'pimp' who phoned. You know, Bill, or 'Our Billy'. This is the end of Margaret R. Maureen worked instead. The reign of Miss Rushton is over. Ally sends for the girls P45. Fin.

Cases of Aids reported around the world have risen by 1,766 during the past month, reaching 42,704 in 91 countries, the World Health Organisation said yesterday. There are now 686 cases in Britain, a rise of 48, and 31,036 in the United States, a rise of 1,500. - Reuter.

-=-

-=-

Friday March 13, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Saw Caroline again. She handed me a flimsy garment for my 'Tarzan act' tomorrow. Bloody hell, I take on some jobs. I really should have been a thespian. The smell of the crowd and the roar of the grease paint, &c.

-=-

Thursday March 12, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

At our recent meeting with LG he asked: "were you in last Thursday?" "Yes", quoth I. "Did the Fisherman's Hut play you at pool?" "Yes", quoth I. "Well", he quipped beaming with humour, "you are a cruel, heartless swine for allowing an old man to keel over in your porch without ceasing to trade or to tend to him with your first aid expertise." Yes, the pillock of a landlord had actually phoned LG to report upon my behaviour during the abovementioned incident. LG sides with me. I was blazing. I really should go over and reduce that hideous little Tetley's house to rubble. I took a green-nosed Sam to nursery and I saw Caroline who reminded me that I am doing a 'kissogram' at Middleton on Saturday. In a religious book shop no less.

-=-

Wednesday March, 11, 1987

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS 11 5NQ

Have I told you about Anthony Ronald Brotherwood's birthday party? He is 40 on Monday and his wife Margaret the Mouth with Mr C.H. Ratcliffe has arranged a surprise party for Tony and for all his long-lost acquaintances. John has invited me and Chris has phoned to see if I can find some ale. Chris was his old "1973 self". I would be so pleased to rekindle some old friendships because life can become very insular don't you think?

Dad and Clementine.

LG came yesterday at 3pm to put a Sam Smiths 'stout' button on my PLU. He was extremely amenable. He can be nothing else  when his employee is 70 per cent up on last year, and a clean, reliable 32 year-old to boot. He asked me how Dad is coping and I told him that he was upstairs. I was surprised that LG could remember all the facts about Dad, the details: Mum's passing/Horton/the police, &c. Looking seriously over his glasses he said: "Why don't we get him doing relief work?" Enough said. It isn't Dad's scene. Dad left at 2:30 for Mr Carlile's [dentist]. He is having gold teeth, like the villain in the Bond film.

Question: If male priests can be unfrocked, women priests will, when they eventually arrive, be "debagged"

The engagement is announced between Henry, Marquess of Worcester, eldest son of the Duke and Duchess of Beaufort, of Badminton House, Gloucestershire, and Tracy, younger daughter of the Hon. Peter Ward, of Cornwell Manor, Kingham, Oxfordshire, and the Hon. Mrs Claire Ward, of Callow Street, London.

A drugs trial involving the Countess of Cassillis was postponed yesterday when two Crown witnesses were unable to attend Ayr Sherrif Court. The Countess, 26, through Mr Ross Harper, her solicitor, denied possessing quantities of cannabis and amphetamines at her home at Kirkoswald, Strathclyde, last July.

-=-