Friday March 21, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Dear Joy Critoph came here for lunch with Terry, her boyfriend, and they stayed until after 4 o'clock. She is quite unchanged in the eight or nine years since I last saw her, and still a Sandie Shaw look-alike. Terry is a bearded, bespectacled Londoner. Possibly 35. We were hungover and frantically busy and so Ally didn't go over to collect Samuel from Hilda's until 2pm. She has enjoyed having him, saying he is so well behaved. When we left he called his great-aunt "sweetheart". He came bounding into the pub to meet Joy, and was very shy. Joy is Jacq's bridesmaid tomorrow and her dress she says is 'shocking mauve'. We threaten to giggle in church. Dad came here tonight. In the bar Jack Speight was the victim of a 'coppergram' and was 'arrested' by a naughty, nubile stripper in the guise of a WPC who stripped down to her undies. A jovial evening. Copies of my family tree did the rounds. Much Diet Pils. A hooligan attempted to spoil things, but out he went.

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Thursday March 20, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

LG phoned to ask how I am coping with fame. Some good publicity after the recent 'piss in the beer' saga of recent weeks. My Andrew/Fergie family tree is in today's YP. I have a love of genealogical tables second to none. High winds. We went to town and on opening the door the wind almost took it off its hinges. A man at Appleyard's garage but the damage at £100. Ally and I were out tonight, separately of course, to Jacq and Ian's bachelor night parties. To the Town Hall Tavern and then the Vic and then Ritzes. Pete Sate is a giggle. I became hopelessly pissed. I got home at 2 and Ally was out until 3. I sat eating scampi and watching myself on the telly. So good for ones ego. Ally came back having done the Crown at Yeadon, Beau Brummells, &c. She says Lynn is very much back on form.

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Wednesday March 19, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Bright. Breakfast TV is saturated with Fergie and we sat with bated breath. The YP carries my Sarah Ferguson/New Grange Hall connection and Helen Scott phoned me from the EP followed by Andrew Sheldon from 'Calendar'. I rattled on about Andrew becoming Duke of York on his marriage and he was beside himself with glee and asked me to go across to YTV at 5pm. Fame at last. Ally was just going out at 10:30 when she heard on the car radio of the royal betrothal and she came scampering back in. We videoed everything. The couple were interviewed at Buckingham Palace. They want a summer wedding, and seem besotted. Sarah Margaret Ferguson is a boisterous red-headed freckled type that I would have thought the prince would have steered clear of, but thankfully no. They will, says the court correspondent at the BBC, be known as Prince and Princess Andrew, but the lad will be created Duke of York and Earl of Inverness before the wedding, if you ask me. Since the beginning of February I have been confident of the union, and her lineage is impeccable. She is no shy virgin. The arrival of princes Willian and Henry have made it possible for Prince Andrew to marry Sarah. She wouldn't have done for Charles. She has had two lovers at least, and one old enough to be her father. Ally is ecstatic and she phoned LG to warn of my emerging TV stardom. By taxi to YTV at 5 where I sat in an ante room with the weather forecaster and two tarts. Lashings of coffee, &c. At 5:45 in came Richard Whiteley and we watched the ITN news together. He laughed and ejaculated throughout and obviously has republican sentiments. Cynical ____. We went on air at 6pm and I attempted to keep cool. He said most of the things I wanted to say in his intro leaving me almost high and dry, but in fact I didn't dry up. "Surely we are all related to each other way back" he interjected, unhelpfully. The whole of the news programme was based on my information. They showed old film of the previous Duke and Duchess of York at Fountains Abbey in 1932. At the climax of the programme Whiteley said that as a county we do not do too well for royal connections. I jumped in with the late Princess Royal and Earl of Harewood, and of course the Duchess of Kent. Stardom over. Back to the pub at 8 after and hour in the bar at the YTV with Andrew Sheldon and S. Benedic (?). Taxi home. My TV appearance has been good for publicity. Jack Collett was speechless.

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Tuesday March 18, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

It was just like old times today. A royal engagement is looming. Mike Brown phoned. It's his day off but he says he has contacted Jill Parkin re Sarah Ferguson's connection to New Grange Hall, Headingley, and sure enough she phoned with breathless fascination. I gave her the details and then later she phoned asking for my family tree showing the prince and Sarah's descent from King James VI & I. Jill is the daughter of ___ Parkin, who was a big noise at the EP and probably still is. The piece will be in the YP tomorrow. I do hope that my brewery connection gets a mention because Sam Smiths have had some very bad publicity in recent days. A gang from the Cambridge at Middlesbrough recently visited the brewery and whilst visiting the fermenting tanks some tattooed yobs pissed in the vat despoiling £7,000 worth of ale. Future brewery visits are now in jeopardy. Even the Daily Mirror picked up on this. "Two Pee On Beer" was the ghastly headline.

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Monday March 17, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

St Patrick's Day

Bank Holiday in Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland

St Patrick's Day. What rubbish. For some reason Bill Gilmore got completely blotto, and he isn't remotely Irish. Maureen has gone into hospital to ger her legs 'done'. You know, varicose veins, &c. Anne (Wilkinson) is covering her with the cleaning here. The old girl dotes on Sam. She was in today and as she was mopping she casually announced that according to Radio Aire Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson are getting engaged today. Ally went to the BRI for a scan and she phoned me at 11 to say that we are only expecting one baby, and probably has more fluid than normal. We are not disappointed and expected this result. The silly GP has cocked up the dates. Sent a postcard to Mike Brown re Prince Andrew & SF, mentioning New Grange Hall and the Leeds family connection. Will the YP be interested?

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Sunday March 16, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

5th Sunday in Lent

British Summer Time begins

This volume declares that BST begins today when in fact it doesn't. That is coming on Easter Day, according to the radio. Wet and dismal. We went out after breakfast to Hilda's where we found her pale and encased in bandages after falling down the stairs and twisting her ankle. Tony and Hayley were in the garden and Thomas John in his pram. We had a coffee and a grovel to ask H to have Samuel on Tuesday so that we can go to the Cawood stag do at Beau Brummels. Later we went to Susan's where Samuel went wild with his raucous cousins. He is sometimes cruel with little Benjamin. Sue says that another son will be Joseph Lawrence. Excellent. Peter laughed. The sink we made enquiries about costs £175. No thanks. We will make do with the shells and dolphins and spend £17. We had a tea party and came back to the pub at 7. I am totally knackered. Spent time making the books balance, and then for relief I took to my genealogical table of Andrew & Fergie. That other romance here between Chris Mawson and Vicky Pearson is thankfully off due to family pressure, he says.

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Saturday March 15, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds, LS11 5NQ

To Menston this afternoon at 4pm and found Janette in bed. She peeped out at us from behind her bedroom curtains. John was working. Charlotte Nora is a pink, bulky thing. We had a good conference - Janette in her dressing gown - after which Ally felt happy and confident that the Moorhouse can site a wedding reception. We will have a buffet upstairs for immediate kith and kin, and then have friends and distant relatives pm. Janette wants nothing as common as pork pies, and no expense is to be spared. Salmon mousse was even discussed. The girl has everything worked out in her mind. Janette clearly trusts our judgement. We will not let the happy couple down. We came back to the pub happier.

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Friday March 14, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Ally doesn't think we can cope with a wedding reception for John and Janette in the pub. Lots of obstacles need to be overcome before we can see one taking place. Dad left with his ears ringing with Ally's words on the coming nuptials and she is strongly suggesting another wedding venue. We need to see John and Janette before we can formulate a plan. Whatever happens it cannot be a 'free do'. Mum paid us almost £100 in 1984 for their Pearl wedding extravaganza. Sausage rolls do not grow on trees. Dad's car is 107. Later, Madge & Frank's pre-nuptial booze up here. Silly really.

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Thursday March 13, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Ten years ago today John married _______________. It was a very misty, cold day if I recall. I have a funny feeling that I shouldn't be John's 'best man' for the second time. It didn't bring him much luck the first time around. Dad and Sam walked up Dewsbury Rd. Papa does fret about his financial situation. Mum had confidence and bravado and never lost sleep over money but now that he's alone he finds himself with a dwindling cash flow, or lack of it. We sent off for John's birth certificate.

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Wednesday March 12, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds LS11 5NQ

Dad came but very late and we had been in a mood of expectancy all day. He appeared as we were preparing to go to Bradford and so he came with us in our car. Straight to it. We stripped the bedroom and Dad smashed off the old black plaster. Ally, Sam and I went to get our hair cut. These communal haircuts are a success. Later, Sam helped us strip off old flowery wallpaper, and Ally made a lasagne. Dad suggests that the original wallpaper dates back to the Boer War. Later as we sat and ate Dad and I gave each other long "should we go out to the pub" looks, but nothing came of it. We returned to the Moorhouse later on. Poor Dad. I must bore you, but have to say he is so very brave. He has asked about borrowing my collection of Dickens books. Evidently, Arnold is into Dickens in a big way. ________.

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Tuesday March 11, 1986

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds, LS11 5NQ

Phoned Dad. He's coming here tomorrow for a couple of nights. We plan to go to Club St and knock damp plaster off Sam's bedroom wall and so he will be able to assist. Phoned Leeds Register Office to enquire about John's birth certificate. A cheque for £5 and a stamped addressed envelope should see us right. Will it interest you to know that I am almost 13st? Today I accidentally stood on the bathroom scales and gasped in horror. Surely, I was only 11 and a half stone at the last weigh in? But when was that? I'm too bloody busy to do anything. Taking a bath is a luxury. Michael Rhodes is almost 31.

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