Friday January 17, 1975

Meet Marita in Park Row at 5.15. We go to Smiths in the Railway Station where we route around in the glossy magazines and rude paperbacks until Christine arrives. I buy 'Confessions of a Private Soldier', a nasty, dirty little thing by Timothy Lea. Quite cheeky though. Leave Leeds by train and we laugh all the way to Sheffield. MM meets us on the platform, and when he and Marita are together they certainly are very close. Wedding bells will be ringing in a few years time, that's for certain.

The flat is just one room with all the necessities therein. Smells very musty and the atmosphere is positively damp. The four of us are far too shagged out to consider going to the boozer for a few pints - so we sit gathered around the electric fire eating cheese and biscuits and listening to Elton John's Greatest Hits on the record player. Bed time is a farce. MM and Marita have the single bed - all this sex before marriage 'I don't know what the world's coming to' &c. Christine and I share a camp bed...Comfortable it all is too. Not actually having bodily contact you understand - but reaping the benefits from the closeness which warmed us both in the cold flat.

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Tuesday January 14, 1975

As you can see, I have purchased a bottle of ink and can now scribe here in the correct form. I consider it a disgrace to write my journal in rubbishy biro. Future generations don't want to see before them a page written with an instrument of the 20th century far more horrific than the atom bomb and John Stonehouse, MP.

Slade, the pop group came in state to the YP today. A scruffy bunch they are too. Dave Hill is minute, just about reached up to my knees. Sarah and I bumped into them at the top of the staircase on the 2nd floor. They went down by the stairs and we went in the lift. Don Powell, the drummer, was giving everyone filthy looks and to sum up I'd say they fancied themselves.

Home for tea at 6 o'clock. Mum and Dad are out and Lynn makes tea. Quite pleasant it is too. A letter awaits me from David, Thane of Worcester. He's not going to MMs at the weekend which is a big let down. He also had news of MM thinking about leaving poly! Strange tale indeed from my far-off friend.

Christine rang me at the YP. She's arranged everything with Marita and they're meeting in Leeds at 6pm on Friday. We're all getting the train at 6.45 or something like that.

I'm getting excited now. It's only 346 days to Christmas. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way! Despatch a reply to David. He had me in stitches about blackmailing me with certain pictures he's got of ____, drawn by me, and passed on to him without thinking of the consequences. Mum and Dad are in Askern I think.

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Monday January 13, 1975

At the YP all day. Sarah is strangely subdued and almost sharp with us. Probably because Kathleen is off, and the heavy mantle of responsibility weighs too heavily on her slender shoulders. Sarcastic sod, aren't I?

Whilst waiting for the bus this evening I did comprehend an amusing sight. Christopher Monckton, the heir to that glorious viscountcy, marching down the central reservation of the dual carriageway on Wellington Street, rotating his umbrella at a fantastic speed, as though something sinister and unnatural possessed his very soul. I smiled all the way home.

Heard on the news briefly this morning that the IRA planned to kidnap the Prince of Wales several months ago but then changed plans without any explanation. It's an impossibility. The security surrounding the prince is so tight that even his own grandmother would be unable to nab him.

A man rang me today and asked me if the ventriloquist Arthur Worsley is the father of the Duchess of Kent. Can you imagine it? Arthur Worsley and his dummy - parents of the Duchess of Kent? I pretended to be unsure on this one, and went away sniggering to look in Burke's Peerage. He, the befuddled member of the public, seemed quite surprised when I informed him that HRH's father was Sir William Worsley, 4th Baronet. What a laugh.

What can have happened to Marita? Hang on folks whilst I go ring her. All will be revealed herein. Now then, where shall I begin? MM moved into his own residence before the weekend, and so the letter I posted today will have gone to the wrong house. Marita is going down by train next Friday evening and wants to know if Christine and I are going down with her. Super idea it seems to me.

Mum and Dad go to Esholt and the girls go to bed. Strange having no visitors for a change. Dave and Peter are almost permanent fixtures these days.

See TV all evening. Retire at 11.50 after writing to MM again, for the second time today. My first letter went to Horndean Rd which he vacated last week. My chat with Marita was the first one since the New Year.

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Thursday December 26, 1974

Boxing Day. Holiday in England, Ireland & Wales. Christine finished with Philip at Dave's Christmas party. I am bereft of all comment on the situation. My capacity to deal with the English language is shown to be completely useless when I give it news of such a sizeable calamity as this to cope with. She handed the (engagement) ring back and he went off heart-broken into the wind and rain of the night.

The party itself was super. Dave playing the perfect host as usual, and all went well. Everyone came, and I received my first opportunity to form an opinion of Adrian, espoused of Miss Akroyd.

MM and Marita were sat heaped in a corner all evening - not at all the enthusiastic couple. I became more than just merry. Exactly, I was pissed up beyond the level of safety. Danced with Christine for much of the time. She kept saying how relieved she was to have ended it all with Philip. As though a great cloud had been raised from above her. Carol Smith's little scouse of a boyfriend kept threatening to kill the other male party goers when they attemmpted to dance with his darling. God! Just who does he think SHE is?

Sandy and I made beans on toast at about 4am. John managed to coat himself with more than a liberal layering of baked beans, which set concrete hard by 10am.

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Thursday December 19, 1974

A more congenial day. Left the office with Sarah at 12 and we did a bit of shopping in town before going our separate ways. Funny girl is our Sarah. A perfect Angel but temperamental beyond human understanding.

I got myself a Monty Python LP, the one I heard in Worcester, and bought Dad's Xmas present - a Perry Como LP. Really should have stayed in Leeds to buy all my presents but couldn't be bothered at all. 

Nipped onto a bus and was home in time to see the final part of 'The Forsyte Saga'. I was quite emotional when Soames passed away at the end. Sat choked in a heap besides the lit Christmas tree.

David called for me at about 8.10 after queueing for a tank full of petrol before the 10p price increase at midnight. To the Stone Trough for one drink. MM, Marita and Denny were awaiting our arrival. Moved on to the school (Benton Park) at 8.30 where the lovely Christine Braithwaite joined us. What a bloody scorcher she is - and a good deal more mature than when I last saw her. Denny goes off with Martin Vere-Bujnowski all night and she barely said a full sentence to me._______.A good deal of kissing went on underneath the mistletoe. Kicked out at 11.30 and moved on to Denny's - that is David and me -where we laughed over supper until 1.30. Home in the car.

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Wednesday November 20, 1974

Death of Queen Alexandra, 1925. Weather improved on yesterday, but the snow is still with us. Harry collects me at 8am and it's not unlike the feeling murderers must once have endured when being collected by the padre en route to the gallows. Shocking driving lesson until 9 and feel utterly doomed at the prospects in store for me. The actual test lasted for about half an hour and I didn't seem to do too badly at all - nevertheless, I failed. The two faults were failing to adhere to the correct regulation of speed when approaching a crossroad; and failing to satisfy him that I have any knowledge of the Highway Code. The latter so called weak point is quite unfair - he asked me all sorts of rubbish about motorway signs, lights, and all the other ridiculous signs which the ordinary person doesn't use from one decade to the next. Home at nearly 10.

Harry arranges some more dates for me and I go inside and devour beans on toast. Ring Mum, Auntie Hilda and the girls at the YP with the bad news, and then open my mail in order to seek some kind of cheery escape. A letter from MM in Sheffield; one from Denny, and one from Benton Park inviting me to their Xmas Disco on December 19. Very thoughtful of them to remember me after all these months. Poor MM was quite a nervous wreck about the test, and wished me all the luck in the world - which doesn't seem to have been enough. Lynn rings me and I inform her of the result. Alison was also horror-struck. Work 5 till 12. Quite a good evening and go with Tony (Kelly) to the Central Station for an hour. Nothing of importance happens. Please forgive the change of ink, but I hate using biro to record these historic events here within.

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Monday November 4, 1974

See in the morning editions that the new Royal baby is to be called Alexander Patrick Gregers Richard, and not William like that old hag in the Daily Express prophesised. I must admit that I was more than surprised at the choice of names. I can understand Richard and Patrick which complement the baby's father and the earldom of Uslter, but not Alexander which is rarely used as a first Christian name for royal babies.

Sarah and I are on tip toes with excitement about tomorrow's party & are quite determined to become intoxicated. Eileen is back after almost two weeks absence. Home at 6 and spend half an hour on the phone with Marita. She isn't at all surprised at my break from Lynne and seems positively jubilant. She says she realised something was afoot when I asked my so-called girlfriend to sit on the floor in the Hare & Hounds on Friday. MM was positively horrified by this gesture and says something must have come over me to drag me from the usual high standard track of morals and etiquette, regarded for many years as a phenomenon in the area.

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Saturday November 2, 1974

Birth of Edward V, 1470.

Lovely morning at the YP. At 12 Sarah and I go for the bus and she more than hints that I should join her in the Queen's at Horsforth for the afternoon. I readily agree, but then to my dismay I discover that I've got a mere 29p on my person and 20 of those pence are required for my bus fare. I am compelled to decline this perfect invitation and stand back to see my Angel mount her bus and disappear into the drizzle of a wet afternoon.

Don't rellish the thought of escorting Lynne tonight. At 6.30 we decided that she couldn't come because Peter wasn't coming out, but dear Christopher persuaded him to do so and we arranged to meet in the Hare at 8.30 - Lynne included. Dave Lawson, full of pneumonia, and clad in a tartan scarfe arrives for John and I at 8.15 and we are soon at the Hare. Marita and MM are already inside. All the mob come, including Lynn and Dave and Martyn and Alison. Drink Guinness and then Campari and tell Marita that I intend to finish with Lynne and she comments that Lynne is too serious to make any progress with a raving, idiotic comic like myself. All move on to the Red Lion in Burley-in-Wharfedale at 9.30 and then to the Cow & Calf at Ilkley, where I haven't been since before Christmas last year. Dave didn't come because of his cold, and MM and Marita went to see Denny, who has been absent from the crowd since I started this ridiculous relationship with Lynne. Lynn and Dave and the other 2 went home. Pleasant do at the Cow & Calf - most of us got drunk, or at least fairly fresh (except Peter , who has a position to keep, and ___, who thinks he has a position to keep). Home after 1am in time to see poor Dave B leave after sitting at home with Lynn since 11 o'clock.

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Tuesday October 22, 1974

When we were in Windsor, Denny confided in me that 'the gang' would begin to dissolve within a couple of months of our return. That was said in mid-September, and now I do believe her prophecy is coming true. No longer can 'the gang' be seen each weekend in the Hare & Hounds, and gone is the familiar chink of beer glasses, rising above the drunken laughter in the smoke-filled grotto at Wikis. Phyllis Whitethighs is deeply in love with a 'shady' character from York; John is involved (as you are aware) with Carol; then Andy is with Linda; Chris is in a deep financial mess at the moment and won't probably be back on his 'drinking' feet until the New Year. Poor Marita loves MM and refuses to associate with any of us; and Denny hates the idea of me going out with Lynne and doesn't want to associate with me at the moment. So it's all coming true. The happy family is no more. It may re-assemble when we all tire of our lovers but until that day comes the Hare & Hounds will never be the same again.

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Sunday October 13, 1974

18th after Trinity. Before I recount the days events I ought to say something about Cousin Jackie, who is my favourite relation of all time, other than Uncle Albert. Never did I imagine that a small, pale, pig-tailed young girl of yesteryear would develop into a glamorous, well-proportioned young lady with tremendous prospects. I only hope she'll come to stay with us for years to come.

Up at about 12 for lunch. Sit listening to the radio and laughing with Jackie about Chris Ratcliffe. She was talking about him in her sleep, or so Lynn says. MM & Marita and even David come round after lunch and I pay Marita for the Appletreewick pics.

MM isn't coming home again from Sheffield until Oct 31, and David's not back from Worcester until Nov 1. Carol comes too, to cut John's hair. She also does Mum's hair. After tea & 'Pick of the Pops' Jackie departs for Pudsey, and John goes out with Carol, George Waite and Jane, to Harrogate.

I sit in front of the tv all evening until Lynn and Dave come back from the cinema. Dad, who comes in shortly after 'the lovers' arrive, gives David the breathyliser test. He was 'over the moon' and no doubt telling everyone down the Hare next week that he's been breathylised by a genuine policeman. Show Dave our photo albums, which kills him. Bed at 12.30.

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Monday September 30, 1974

Marita rings for a chat at 6.30. She needs cheering up. Evidently, MM goes to Sheffield tomorrow___________. Poor soul. ____________.She also informed me that Denny is down in the dumps, and is going out for her lunches with a regular escort. Nothing much else occurred in the conversation and it ended after about half an hour.

See TV all evening and nothing except the election is on. Michael Foot and William Whitelaw pulling each other to pieces, &c. However, Mr Whitelaw is a good chap, and I prefer him to Mr Heath, who is far too high minded to appreciate the problems facing Britain at the moment. Politics get me down, but Sir Alec Douglas-Home made a good point at the weekend when he said that politics may be dirty business, but the only alternative is dictatorship. It's a damn shame that poor Sir Alec didn't have longer at Number 10. I'm sure he was a better leader than Ted (Heath). But he got what all leaders get when they fail to win an election. Ted himself will receive a sharp kick in the pants if he fails to succeed on October 10. No doubt Mr & Mrs Whitelaw are planning to move into the Downing Street residence in later years.

See a good film called 'Otley' on BBC2. It's hilarious, dealing with spies, &c. Also see 'Emmerdale Farm' before coming to bed at 11.45.

Ugh, Mrs Ford, the wife of the US president, had one of her breasts removed in hospital at the weekend. The president probably won't stand for election in 1976 because of his wife's health. I expect it's cancer or something.

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Wednesday September 25, 1974

John's 18th birthday. Don't see him before leaving for the YP but at 12 (it's my half day) we all meet in the Generation Bar beneath the Jubilee. Christine Phyllis Whitethighs, Denny, Chris, and one of Phyllis's friends. Spend about an hour drinking here, before Denny, Chris, the birthday boy and myself move on to the Emmotts, which is in the midst of being decorated at the moment and looks better without that awful purple, flock wallpaper. After pie and peas and cinzanos in the E. we go back to Denny's where John feels rather faint and finds it necessary to go lay down upstairs. The remaining three of us watch a repeat of Galsworthy's 'Forsyte Saga' part one, first shown in 1967. It was good but seemed very dated. Home for tea and see all the hilarious birthday cards lined up. One from Andy was intended for an 8-year-old girl, and Dave L sent a card 'Birthday Wishes Today You are 2'. I stayed in tonight, whilst John went to the Hare with Carol, Chris and a few others - even Laura turned up.

 At 9.30 MM came to see me. I was most surprised, though I expected to see him sometime this week before his departure to Sheffield on Monday. He gave me his address, &c. John and Chris came back for coffee and we all sat about until 11. Came to bed and looked at Dad's police magazines & see the article I had published in the issue of Sept 1972. Quite funny.

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Saturday August 17, 1974

YP till 12. Not all that busy and I sit talking with Sarah and Carol for a good deal of the time. To Marita's at 12.30 collecting a few loaves and cheese on the way. Mrs Fountain makes Denny and I a nice meal, and MM comes at 1. We pack the things in the car - one would think we were going camping for a month - not just the one night - and depart for Appletreewick at 1.30. We call in at a wine store in Ilkley where we purchase gallons of Cinzano and Martini Rosso, etc. Arrive at Appletreewick before 2 and erect the tent immediately - very close to the Wharfe. The sound of the babbling water makes Marita run to the toilet. W do nothing really other than go for a walk, and scoff a meagre meal, before going o the pub at 7.30. Have one drink outside but the midges and geese drive us in. It's a pub strictly for non-smokers. Have a tremendous laugh at all the eccentic people within, including bunch who sit and eat themselves silly. Back to camp at about 10 where, to our horror, we realise we have no light of any description amongst the pile of equipment. We open the bottles and slurp the contents in the darkness, spilling vast quantities on the ground. Get drunk. I do a "tea-towel dance" and Marita takes several photos. W all collapse shortly after midnight. Have hilarious time in the tent. I sleep sandwiched between Marita and Denny and am the most comfortable member of the party. Sleep soundly until 7.30 on Sunday morning. -==-

Tuesday August 13, 1974

Out of bed at 7.30. Quite a nice day really - weather that is, but not so at work. YP is miserable. Carol comes in and tells us that she's leaving in two weeks time to be a secretary or something. Grief, that means only Sarah, Kathleen and myself left after September. Janice is looking fat now and it is indisputable that she is "with child". Happy to leave at 5.

Home by 6 and have salad for tea. Feeling bored I ring Marita and spend 20 minutes deep in conversation with her about the forthcoming Bank Holiday, etc. We both agree that we ought to go somewhere nice for the weekend, though Mrs Akroyd is not happy about Denny taking Marita, MM and to the caravan. Quite understandable really. We joke about covering up from everyone our secret rendezvous at the Grey Horse on August 5. I promise to take her to Leeds Utd when the new season begins in September.

A girl calling herself 'Alison' rings at 6.30 and in whispered tones asks me to meet her at the Town Hall, presumably Leeds, at 8o'clock tonight. I tell her not to be silly, andshe says something about a Janet something-or-other, then the phone goes dead. Hell, these subs girls become more and more childish.

Ring Denny at her babysitting place at about 10. She is worried about a couple of airline tickets which she 'misplaced' at work today. I tell her not to worry. Surely they'll turn up?

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Tuesday August 6, 1974

Hot day - which makes a change. This summer will go down in history as 'the summer that never was'. Hear from Lynn tonight that she is the proud possessor of five 'O' levels. That is one more than me. Feel really happy for her.

Denise rings me at work and asks if I'd like to go to Scamps, the disco at Bradford, tonight. I plead insanity and say I have no money, which is perfectly true. She doesn't really object and we promise to meet on Friday at lunchtime again.

Nice day at the YP but too warm for comfort. Home at 5.45. Ring Marita after tea who says she's completed her decorating now and for the duration of the conversation I had the feeling that she was concentrating seriously on something else. I ask: "Have you seen Michael today?" She answers: "Yes. He's here now." I make a speedy exit from the line. The poor sods are in love_________.I keep getting different reports from private sources about __ but knowing ___ like I do_________.

No real news to report this week other than the fact that horrid President Nixon finally admitted that he knew about 'Watergate' all along. Disgusting American politics is not a subject I wish to dwell on.

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Tuesday July 30, 1974

Lousy, rotten day at the YP but the evening is exceptional and very amusing. Go to Marita's at about 8 o'clock - we sit playing Handel on the record player and wait for Denny. She rings David and we - the three of us - decide to go to the Hare, where Peter Mather today celebrates his 19th birthday. Denny comes unprepared for going out, and wears tatty red velvet trousers and a t-shirt with 'Playboy Club' inscribed across the front. She is quite livid with us for not contacting her before deciding to go out, but she soon calms down._________. MM comes at 9, shortly after David, who wears a brown suit - unusual for Mr Lawson. MM and Marita spend half an hour upstairs, and Marita shouts down that she will see us in the Hare later on. We, Dave, Denny and I let ourselves out and go to the Hare. See all the usual gang, who decide to move on to the Commercial - the three of us hang on for Marita until 10.15 but see no sign of her. Move to the Commercial without contacting the Fountain residence, which proves to be the big give away on our part. 3 of us back to Pine Tops at 11. We decide to go up to Marita's for a party and I prepare to stay the night - Marita is not amused. It transpires that MM had gone home at 9.30 and she had followed us to the Hare, where we could no longer be found. Marita goes to bed and the three of us have Cinzanos and listen to Dave's tapes. He brings me home after 2 only to discover that I am locked out. Dad comes home for supper and lets me in - not very pleased really.

-==-

Monday July 29, 1974

Rise at 7.30. To the YP by bus from Green Bottom. Didn't fancy the train today. Awful day at work and decide to leave. I want to do something interesting with my life and filing photos of politicians from El Salvador isn't what I call thrilling.

To Marita's at 5.30. Sit on the doorstep till she comes home at 5.40. Take up the carpet in her bedroom whilst she cooks the tea for Denny and myself, who arrives shortly after 6. MM comes at 7 and begins scraping the walls - quite efficient at decorating he is.______.Have a good laugh and do quite a bit of work until 10. MM has a wash whilst Denny, bless her, and Marita, go for fish and chips. Spill tomato sauce all over my shirt much to everyone's amusement. Leave Marita's at 10.45. Bed before 11.

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Sunday July 28, 1974

7th after Trinity. Nice lunch at 1. See 'African Queen' on tv in the afternoon - Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. Denny rings at about 5.______________________________.

David went out with Denny, MM, and Marita last night - if I'd have thought about it I'd have asked him, David that is, to accompany us to the Stansfield. Ring Dave at about 8 and he says he can't come out tonight because of a shocking cold.

Go to the Commercial where John and I meet the two Americans, Anne and Carol. Peter takes Anne and John takes the other. MM and Marita bring Denny, and Mum, Dad, Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony come shortly after. Tremendous evening. Auntie H is a brilliant success really. MM and Marita decide to come with Denny and I to Spain. Me and Den. are going to Marita's on Monday evening to decide the colour scheme for her bedroom. My painting 'Seascape, 1970' is to be the central feature. I'm quite proud. Chris, who I haven't seen much of, along with Christine W and Carol Smith come back for coffee, Bacardi, Martini, etc. Uncle Tony drinks out of the Spanish wine thing brought back from Malgrat. Hilarious night. Go to my bedroom at 1 and sit re-styling the whole place in my mind. Sit in bed waiting for John to come to bed (It's an old tradition that I am always the last to be awake at night). Seeing Marita earlier and discussing decorating with her has given me the urge to re-do my room. The main problem wit this room is the size, which is ridiculously small, and sharing with a younger brother cannot make matters any better. I decide to go Victorian. Glance at Queen Mary and at 2.30 call it a day and switch off the light.

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Saturday July 13, 1974

YP till noon. Go to 'Just Pants Plus' and get a pair of wonderful trousers - cords - with an embroidered pattern on the bum - £7.00, etc. Home and in the bath at 2 listening to Tony Blackburn.

Dearest Denny comes straight from work for tea - prawn curry - though we don't enjoy it at all after arguing about Judith. Denny says she wouldn't have come to tonight's party if she had been aware that J was joing to attend. To Hare and Hounds at 8.15. Joined by Marita, who looks gorgeous lately, and MM and Christine Jennings____.In order to cheer up Marita I pull her to my side of the bar where we buy each other Cinzanos till after 10.30. Both quite drunk. Marita having to drive as well!! Party a good success. Denny, who is very drunk, finds her old boyfriend, Ron, and they spend the night together. Judith comes at 11.30 and I ignore her - being very drunk -and she leaves 10 minutes later. Fantastic scenes in the bathroom then follow, and I am in the shower with a massive audience of both sexes. Everyone gets thoroughly soaked, and poor Christine W looks like Phyllis Diller with her hair wet. Linda, Carol, Dave B and Keith and myself have an amusing, unrecordable, session in our small, yet cosy, lavatory. Hysterical. Everything ends at 3am when someone put a foot through the bathroom door. I don't want the party to end but most folk drift off. When everyone is in bed asleep I clear up the mess and listen to the 'Super Bad' LP.

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Wednesday July 10, 1974

Very wet and cold day. YP until 12, and manage to get a bus straight to the Emmotts, where I get a pint of Guinness and wait for Denny. She rings at 1 and says her bus didn't arrive, and that she'll have to wait for the next one at 2. I sit in the bar drinking on my own and get through a lot more ale than I intended. Dear Denny rings at 2 and says the same story about no bus coming to her bus stop. I then say I'll go the farm with a bottle of something, and we can then celebrate her 18th birthday from then onwards. Buy a bottle of Martini Rosso at Rawdon Co-op and proceed to stagger onto a Harrogate bus, worse for alcohol, and with the unwrapped bottle of Martini in my clutches. Arrive at Denny's at about 3pm. In 2 hours we drink all the Martini, the 2 of us, and then make a start on her 'duty free' brandy. At 5 o'clock we fall on the floor, unable to retain our balance or sense of perspective. I am almost hysterical when she says______. I accidentally smashed the telephone, and we attempted to sober ourselves by drinking gallons of coffee and eating piles of cheese on toast. Go to the Hare at about 9 - still terribly drunk and wet through with rain. Drink Pernod and lager. MM and Marita come. Mr Akroyd brings John and me home at 10.45. The Gadsbys are here.

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