Saturday December 20, 1975

To Oakwood Hall tonight. Andy and Linda's engagement party. ______.

Carole and I had shopped in Bradford all afternoon and she compelled me to get Andy and Linda four revolting 'sundae glasses'. What Andy will do with such things God only knows. But Carole insisted we bought them something and when Carole insists on doing something it is impossible to disuade her.

Went to the Hare at 8 and gave our present to the happy couple. Left the Hare at closing time, and attempted to get into Sweeney Todd's, but failed miserably. That was how we ended up at Oakwood Hall on this joyous occasion.

Carole and I barely said a civil word to each other all night and I almost decided to finish with her once and for all. Somehow I changed my mind. Afterwards, Raymond brought us to the White Cross and the two of us walked up to Maria's, where she's staying. I eat piles of cheese on toast and argue with John about all manner of things.

The walk up Thorpe Lane did Carole and I the world of good and by the time we reached Ridgeway we were getting on like a house on fire, or perhaps a hospital bed.


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Friday December 19, 1975

Dave, from No 40, Hawksworth Lane, arranged a trip to Annabella's disco in Bradford. All the gang went, by coach of course, and we drank and made merry until 2am.

Carole and I were squabbling again and I realise we haven't quite seen eye to eye lately.

CB was with us. I bought Dave L all his ale. I don't object to this of course because you know as well as I do that I'd do anything for David. These college chaps can't afford to eat or live - let alone booze.

Home at 2.30. John was three sheets to the wind and proceeded to make more than a bit of a racket on our arrival at the palace.

Goodnight one and all.

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Thursday December 18, 1975

The great unveiling of Lucy Collis's new kennel.

John and I go up to West End Lane at about 7.30, and Sarah and I stand about while John bangs, brays, hammers and attacks Mrs Collis's kitchen like something not right. We entertain Mrs C's mother with a fine demonstration of the Yorkshire accent, which absolutely delighted her. These Northamptonshire breeds aren't all that up on dialects.

We leave at 9.30 and I get to Carole's a hour and a half late. She isn't going round the bend or anything and is quite normal.

Maria takes a different attitude and when John brings her down to the Hare she's sulking and has a face like a wet weekend.

I got the last bus home and retired to bed immediately on my arrival at the ancestral pile.

You're very lucky to be reading this, because I nearly didn't bother getting the old pen out today. You may be even luckier tomorrow.

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Wednesday December 17, 1975

A bit of a Royal day in Leeds today. Sarah, Eileen, Carol and I went up to the Queen's Hotel to see the arrival of the Prince of Wales at 12.20 this afternoon. It was a biting cold day and everyone in the crowd looked perished.

The prince dashed out of his Rolls Royce and fled up the red carpeted steps of the hotel with some speed and those in the crowd who were not perhaps on form may well have missed seeing him altogether. Sarah says he looks tiny and thin - something of a puny prince. He's about 5ft 8ins I think, which is quite average really.

I had to laugh at The Times this morning. An article concerninhg the love letters between Sir John French, commander-in-chief of the Army in the 1914-18 war, and his mistress, was topped with the headline 'FRENCH LETTERS SCANDAL'. Makes it sound like some court case involving a Durex swindle. I laughed for hours.


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Tuesday December 16, 1975

Not today, thankyou.

Monday December 15, 1975

Don't fancy writing anything today. In fact, I think I'll retire until after Christmas if it's all ok with you. For God's sake you can't complain! I've been sitting here now for three years telling you all my daily activities and if anyone deserves a rest I think I do.

PS - it was Uncle Tony's 40th birthday yesterday. ______.

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Sunday December 14, 1975

3rd in Advent. Up at 7.30am. Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I was up at 7.30 and at Carole's for 8.30.

At home I first had a boiled egg for breakfast and got myself well wrapped up for the great ordeal ahead of me. By 8.30 I was at Carole's and by 9 o'clock we'd roused the entire household.

After sitting for an hour listening to Mrs P's reminiscences of her Bermudan childhood, we set off for the bus stop. The prospect of walking to Ilkley proved unbearable and so we decided to go the idle way. We have a laugh in the garden centre in Menston and end up walking miles anyway because the buses only run once every hour on the Sabbath.

Get to Ilkley for 11.30 and immediately buy fish and chips, which are putrifying. A tour of the antique shops concludes the visit and we return to Guiseley for luncheon.

I'm in no writing mood today. I feel listless.

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Saturday December 13, 1975

Carole gives up smoking?

Carole's Auntie Anne had a stroke last night and at 2 o'clock the two of us go to Otley Hospital to see her. The coldest day of the year. We walked through Otley with ice hanging from all our prominent extremities.

Auntie isn't as bad as we thought and she'll probably be out of hospital by Christmas. She is in a private room, and we, the relations and friends, made a terrible racket. Her son, Geoffrey, sat flicking live matches at Carole, and she retaliated by giving a high pitched scream every time a missile struck. Little Paul drank all the patient's Lucozade, and Mrs Phillips sat hurling nothing but abuse at her only daughter. I'm quite positive that we can't have done Auntie Anne much good. The three of us, Geoffrey, Carole and me, left auntie in her smouldering bed at 4pm, and walked into town.

Carole demolished a display in one of the supermarkets and we were forced to make a hasty exit. Back to her place where we collected a few presents to go under our Christmas tree (see below) and then go on to Pine Tops. Lynn and David are erecting the tree in the lounge whilst everyone looks on.

I ate a couple of kippers and Lynn and Dave had scrambled eggs on toast.

Back to Carole's at 7.30 and she gets herself ready to go out. We go across to the Hare where Dave L is in residence. We stand about for an hour or so then we go up to the Craven Heifer where Carole renounces tobacco smoking for ALL TIME!!!???!!!...or so she says anyway. Then up to the Cow and Calf with Peter M. Hear from Carol Smith that ________. I had no idea at all. No wonder ______ has been a bit weird of late.

Arrange with Carole to go on a long walk tomorrow morning. I intend getting up at 7.30am. Will he do it? This is the question on the tip of all your tongues.


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Friday December 12, 1975

It's been a long week and you have no idea just what it feels like to be sat at home on a Friday evening with the prospect of a good weekend before you.

I was never designed for work one bit. I should be in St Tropez with three debutantes around each arm and a crate of good champagne on the table before me. Alas, we members of the Landless Peasantry don't stand much chance.

Home on the train and feel more than half-knackered. However, after tea, and a session with the stereo I'm quite rejuvenated.

CB rings to say she's going out with Philip again tonight. Do I envisage a reconciliation? It is Christmas coming and you know what they say about good will? It would ease my conscience slightly if they breach was healed because sometimes I cannot look Philip in the face without thinking 'Oh you swine, Michael'. Nevertheless, CB was the one who severed the connection and all I can be labelled really is an accessory to the crime.

'Prisoner at the Bar, how do you plead?'

'Guilty, M'Lud.'

Carole and I go to the Hare & Hounds at 8.30 and see Andy and Linda who say that they are going to the airport for a meal on Dec 20th to celebrate their engagement. Carole is unenthusiastic about going, but I can't refuse really. People don't get engaged every day do they? (Well, other than Rex Harrison that is).

I came home on the bus with CD. It is an incredibly cold night and both of us dreaded having to get off into the foul, freezing night air.

Watch tv until close-down with Lynn, Dave, Sue, Peter, Mum & Dad.

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Thursday December 11, 1975

Uneventful day. Do not see Carole and stay at home in front of the tv all night. Laugh with Dad at this London hostage business. If they are still being held at Christmas I can see Sir Robert Mark, the Metropoltian Police Commissioner, dressed as Santa Claus, lowering a sack full of presents down the chimney of the Balcombe Street flat!

See 'Top of the Pops' and a programme about Prince Charles being invested as a companion Water Rat. Mike Yarwood, Ronnie Corbett and all the usual bunch were taking the mickey, but HRH came over marvellously as usual. The whole nation now regards as some sort of 'Boy Wonder' and the papers are full of 'when he is King he will do this' and 'when he is King he will do that...' &c. The Sunday Trash said last week that the dear Queen will abdicate in ten years time. I cannot believe that she'd do such a thing. She is strong enough to go on for 25 years yet and I'm certain that she'll be Queen until the day she dies - communist revolutions and uprisings set aside. It is an ancient tradition, I fear, for the media to idolise the heir and cast the dear old monarch into the shadows.

See Spike Milligan at 9 o'clock on BBC2. He is a genius beyond his years. No one seems to appreciate his talents and I fear his genius won't be fully recognised until after he's gone.

Climb into the bath at 9.30 and go to bed shortly afterwards.

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Wednesday December 10, 1975

The old Duchess of Windsor will regard this day as a special day I think. 39 years ago, the King of England packed his bags and left his country in order to win her heart. He could have reigned long and happily with her as his mistress but he would stop at nothing short of the altar. A proud old thing she really should be.

Don't hear from Carole during the day and at 7.30 John drives me up to Sarah's where we buy some of her fantastic pieces of pottery. I never imagined she was such a good, creative little thing. Spend £4 on her wares and come away entirely satisfied. Saw the new little dog, Lucy. So incredibly small. It will go through life pampered, spoiled and its every whim attended to. ___________________.

We call in at the Emmotts where Eric goes wild with excitement. Always make us welcome, they do. Even old Ivy remembered us.

Straight down to Carole's where she's quiet and surly. We go over to the Hare for an hour and then back to her place. I got the last bus, and she cheered up before I left. Sometimes she is so uncontrollable and bad tempered.

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