Wednesday June 29, 1977

Work was ghastly and I made my exit at 3.30pm.  Tony rang later and said he was cheesed off with Barry and I told him to venture to Pine Tops. He arrived looking pale with a revolting tooth ache and within minutes we are on the open road heading in the direction of a tavern.

Tony.

Alcohol is supposedly good for tooth ache. It's also a marvellous cure for back ache, heart ache, and cancer. If nothing else it helps you to die laughing.

The first port of call was the Queen's on Apperley Lane. I am reminded of the late Judith Beevers (see May-Jul 1974) but otherwise it's dead, flat and miserable. The brandy here didn't do much for Tony's throbbing tooth and so we went to the dreaded Drop in Guiseley, where the brandy was equally ineffective.

Tony agrees to take Martyn and I to Stockport on July 9 and says he'll probably bring Linda along too. Will she fit in at the Hollywood? __________. Last call was the Fox & Hounds, Menston.

Home to find Mama and Papa entertaining Edith & Ernest, who have brought a supply of wine with them. I did a spot of tasting myself. A good time was had by all. Night Night.

-=-

Sunday August 31, 1975

14th after Trinity. Up at lunchtime again, as is traditional at weekends. Mum makes a cooked breakfast and then departs to the Commercial where she is under training for her future bar experience. John and I go down at 12.30 to be joined by Andy, who is on his own without Linda, who is of course on holiday in Torquay with Miss Carol Smith and Miss Christine White. __________. Mum looks a natural behind the bar, and Ron and Annie are really good to her. Ron even suggested that I should go down to get a bit of practice in, and he said "you might as well come here and make mistakes than make things hard for your Mum and Dad when they're in a new pub." A tremendous offer for him to make.

At 1.30 John goes off on a picnic with 'George' to Grassington, and I help collect the glasses for Mum to wash. When they call 'time' Dad and I stay behind to discuss things and we have a few drinks on the house before coming home at 3.30. Lynn and Dave are watching an old Kenneth More film and we then all dig into a salad. I have my usual Sunday afternoon sleep in the bath, and lay on the bed viewing the ceiling for half an hour or so. John doesn't return from his picnic and I make my own way to the Hare at 8.30. Andy arrives at the same time, but the turnout is unusually low. Just Andy, Christine D, and Carole, who comes straight from Norfolk at about 9 o'clock. John and 'George' do make a flying appearance, but when I say flying I mean flying. Judy, with whom I was once very close (see Diary, May 3, 1974) calls in at the Hare, but doesn't speak, and neither do I. The remaining four of us move on to the Fox in Andy's car, where we stay for the last drink. After depositing Christine at home we come back to our place for a coffee. Andy seems to think we should arrange another camping expedition before the end of September, but I fear the weather won't hold out much longer. The smell of autumn is already in the air. I sit snuggled up against Carole on the sofa. __________.Andy took her home at about 11.30 and I retired to bed.

This pub business is exciting me. The Menston Arms may well be ours before the month of September is out, and I'm building my hopes on it. However, Ron was saying it's better to get a poor pub and build it up because you can only go one way then. A pub with a good reputation is a good deal harder to retain in the same standard.

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Tuesday December 31, 1974

My half-day. Come home at 12.30 where everyone is rushing around preparing for the party tonight. Our famous parties grow more and more popular each year and we'll have to hold it in a marquee before very long. I clear all the rubbish out of the garage which has been piled there since Christmas. John helps me to burn it.

Mum is upset by Auntie Hilda, who informs her by way of the telephone, that the Gadsbys will not be patronising our Hogmany orgy this year. Mrs Gadsby really is the limit.
A sad day for this volume today. This is my final entry upon these pages, and in a few short minutes the book will be closed forever. What can I possibly say to put a fitting end to it? I know, I'll give a list of events which I think have been the most important of the year.

January: Vic Feather is raised to the peerage.

February: The Rt Hon Edward Heath resigns as Prime Minister; the Rt Hon Harold Wilson becomes PM (March 4)

March: Ian Ball attempts to kidnap Princess Anne, March 20; Lynn is 16 (March 6)

April: I am 19 April 5

May: Meet Judith Beevers (May 3)

June: Death of the Duke of Gloucester (June 10); John and I visit John and Sheila in Windsor

July: Finish with Judith Beevers (July 21)

August: Princess Anne, 24; Queen Mother, 74.

September: Lynn starts going out with Dave Baker; John is 18, Sept 25

October: General Election, Oct 10. Start going out with Lynne Mather

November: Finish with Lynne Mather

December: Santa Claus comes Dec 25.

Mary had a little pig,
She put it in a bucket,
But every time she took it out,
the Bulldog tried to put it back

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the matlepiece,
to see if they'd fall off

Mary had a little Pig,
She couldn't stop it grunting,
she stood it up against the sty,
and kicked its little head in

So, the year is nearly over. A new diary becomes operative from midnight. Hope you've enjoyed reading it. Obviously, I'm a boring writer and I cannot expect you to have devoured every sentence with rellish. I can understand you skipping a couple of months here and there. You're only human after all. Well, I'm going now. If you want to read about the party see the book headed '1975' in which a full and proper account of tonight's goings on will be preserved for posterity. God Bless you all, and a happy and prosperous New Year, which ever one it is next. After all, you could be a little chap from the 22nd century who has stumbled upon this diary. Wishing you a Happy New Year for 1975 would be a bit pointless, wouldn't it?

-==-

Friday December 27, 1974

Unusual day. Wake up at 10.30 feeling void of all life and health, but do not lay around to dwell on my condition. Downstairs David is preparing breakfast and poor Sandy is in a pile on the lounge carpet with Tosca looking on.

I devour an unwanted breakfast and John attempts to remove the remnants of this early mornings fiasco with a tin of beans and toast from his person. Leave the Lawson residence at about 12 o'clock and David comes back for a drink. Sit in front of the TV all afternoon not taking much notice of the goings on and contemplating the Christine/Philip break-up. She rings later on and confirms it. He came to see her this morning and begged her to reconsider, but she refused. Naturally, the poor girl's upset, but the bulk of my sympathy goes to poor Philip. He's a different character to Christine. I think she can be hard, whilst he's almost child-like in his affection for her. He'll be shattered by this well and truly.

Arrange to go to the Hare at 8.15. Dave's collecting me, and Christine is making her own way down. It's a quiet night really. John, David, Sandy, Christine and myself go to the Hare, then to the Queen's at Apperley. See Judith B's car on the drive, but she's not in the pub in question. Find a fish and chip shop open in Horsforth and we sit about troughing like greedy pigs. Home and tucked up in bed for 12.

-==-

Friday November 29, 1974

Mum wakes me at 9. I feel upset about the incident on the phone last night. Only one person's ever slammed the receiver down on me before and that was Judith B, not one of the nicest characters to have crossed my path in these nineteen and a half years on earth. Never would I have imagined Mum doing the same thing. She had a good cry too, which chokes me. It isn't many years since I would have been sobbing along with her. People who cry have that effect one me. She says little about my visit, and doesn't pursue the matter when I say that I am going. The bloody car refuses to move, and so Mum has to walk to work. Standing at the kitchen window watching the lovely little lady - the greatest woman on earth -disappear down the lane, in the cold frost, in order to earn a living so that I can live in the best of comfort. 'Greater Love Hath No Woman...'
Get the suitcase out of the loft and prepare for this trip - almost reluctantly after all this pressure. Get a bus to Leeds where I bump into Kathleen on Wellington Street. Get a ticket and leave for Birmingham. A really hilarious bird shares my compartment with her kids - common as Hell but so funny. The train breaks down near Sheffield and we seem to be hanging around for absolutely ages. Change trains at Brum and arrive at (Worcester) college just before 8. Dave is surprised to see me and didn't expect me for a hour and a half. Bump into a few good guys and settle down straight away. Go to a party on the campus where free drink is to be had. Back to a room at about 12 and sleep comfortably.

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Tuesday November 12, 1974

Rhoda Wilson born 1850. Eileen and I go into town at lunchtime where I buy a film for her camera. I expect to capture several shots of Her Majesty during tomorrow's royal progress through the streets of Bradford. Can't wait.

Pleasant afternoon. Take two pictures of the girls. Sarah is a darling. She tells me her Dad is the head postmaster at York. No doubt that morsel of information was an invitation to seduce her passionately behind a filing cabinet, whilst the glories of having a head postmaster for a father-in-law was supposed to play on my sense for self-advancement & ambition.

After tea I have a driving lesson with Harry until 8. Don't do too bad, though the weather is deplorable and we see a nasty road accident down Apperley (ever after) Lane, close to the home of the late Judith Beevers - and several fire engines and the police were in attendance, no doubt pinching the sacks of sugar which had made up the load of the lorry involved in the unseemly affair.

See 'Jennie Lady Randolph Churchill' and the death of Lord Randolph on the ITV programme. The so-called young Sir Winston looked hideous.

-==-

Friday November 1, 1974

Harriet Wilson born 1856. Busy day at the YP.

My affection for Sarah increases every day, & something will come of it sooner or later. Go to the Hare & Hounds in the evening and later to Wikis, where Lynne goes for the first time. Not too pleasant, and poor Keith (Brown) became involved in an argument with Finlay Smith over Helen. A few beers were lost and several punches exchanged but nothing more drastic occurred. John went home drunk at 1.30 & I think he's missing Carol, though he failed to do anything about it when he almost sat on the top of her in Wikis.

Saw Jackie whom I've not seen since June - I hardly recognised her with all the curls and long skirt. She said a few nasty things about Judith B then spent the remainder of the night persuading John to dance... unsuccessfully.

-==-

Thursday October 31, 1974

Unfortunately, the central heating exploded last night, and we are now plunged into the horrors of no hot water or heat, a necessity at this time of the year. I realised last night that the ___________.

A hateful day. Met Lynne in town at noon and went to the shops together. She looks round for a coat and then takes me to Schofield's in search of a Royal Albert tea-pot. Nothing came of it. I'm beginning to tire of Miss Mather's company and forsee and early collapse in our weak relationship. After my recent bout of mature women I feel that Lynne is too young for me. Many will say that our age gap is the ideal gap to achieve, but I rather like the 21-22 year-old type like Judith. Besides, I've grown quite fond of Sarah Collis as of late, though I realise nothing will come if it. You'd hardly believe that it was only a mere three days since I was saying all those wonderful things about Lynne here in these pages.

The weather is beautiful. Brilliantly sunny with bright blue skies up above. The temperature (at 38f) isn't very good, but being warm blooded I fail to notice the cold. Lynne was frozen solid all afternoon. Home at 5 and sit in the lounge all night by the light of a candle. See Monty Python at 9 on BBC2 - hilariously funny. Lynn and Dave joined us at 10.30. Bed at about 11.

--==--

Sunday October 27, 1974

Have a rotten nights sleep and keep waking up with an unquenchable thirst to tend to. Wake up for the last time at 9.20. Go to make a cup of tea and see that the kitchen clock says 10.20.

On taking Mum her tea she reveals to me that the clocks were put back one hour last night. I hate them messing about with the time. Why can't they leave it alone? Sit in bed supping tea and thinking about my different relationships with girls down the years. Lynne is the first serious one since June, though I did think a lot about Judith B in a certain way. Most men wouldn't find Lynne attractive. She's certainly no Diana Dors - the big breasted type are all very nice but I'm not the type to go out of my way to lay my hands on a pair. Lynne is sophistication itself and all that it entails. She dresses with a style verging on the perfect and it would be fantastic if we only had transport of our own to do our own things. The major pitfall of the ultimate result of our passion is the prospect of ________.Have a bath after a tremendous lunch and then listen to the top 20. Peter and Sue argue about what film to go see at Yeadon - they eventually pick 'The Dove'.

Dave arrives for Lynn and Martyn for Alison. Quite crowded we are by 7.30. At 8 John takes me to Bramhope in order to collect Lynne. (By the way, Marita rang this afternoon and we talked for half an hour about the Whitethighs engagement and ___new hairstyle. We dissolve into fits of hysterical laughter). The shock of the whole weekend came when, half way through a pint, John announced that he and Carol had finished! We were all dumbfounded. Never did I expect such a shock. Marita and Denny were with us, and Chris also came after 9. The girls were in fighting form, and Lynne got on quite well with Marita., though_______.

Chris and Lynne came back for coffee and all the others followed on including Dave, Martyn and Peter, &c. Still shocked by John's announcement I retire to bed after 12.

-==-

Thursday August 15, 1974

Princess Anne was made a GCVO this morning - her 24th birthday. The Queen, in the citation, made reference to her daughter's "calm and braveness" throughout the kidnap attempt in the Mall on March 20, saying the same about Capt Phillips, who becomes a CVO, and Rowena Brassey, the lady-in-waiting, who becomes MVO. The lower class newspapers headed articles on this event "YES IT'S DAME ANNE", and "OH WHAT A DAME", etc. The papers no longer mention the fact that HRH is in line for the title Princess Royal. No doubt the princess dislikes this style and will not let Her Majesty revive it. Mind you, it is dowdy sounding for a young woman I do suppose.

Warm day. Sunny, but windy. Nothing of interest at the YP except my pay. Home at 6. Denny finally sent me the letter she owes me, and I decide to write back immediately. Mum is still not pleased about me going camping on Saturday, though she leaves the whole affair entirely in my hands.

John takes his driving test tomorrow and I only hope for the honour of the family that he will pass this time. He can do no more than try though. To change the subject, I now feel as though I made a mistake treating Judith Beevers the way I did. Recently I've missed our little 'tete-a-tetes' in front of the TV or in front of the TR6 - and in my own silly way I must have fancied her. Keep wondering whether or not to ring her. Don't suppose I will do. Hell, aren't I a burke when it comes to women? Look at the Bottomley Affair, which dragged on for months purely on my part, involving fantasies about the re-estabishment of a relationship, etc. Bloody well brainless, that's what am.

-==-

Sunday July 21, 1974

Little Sue is 15 years old today and will be having a great time in Spain. Looking forward to seeing them all again.

The party continued into the early hours - and Mr Monkman, the old swine, came round in his pyjamas at about 1am to complain about the noise. I say nothing at all. By 3 everyone is either gone or going - Chris staggers to bed and Denny and I sit by the record player looking through my photo albums until 5. Very nostalgic. We go upstairs and sit on the top bunk reading 'Wyndham-Logg' and I fall asleep leaving her enthralled in the adventures of my creation, Peregrine Wyndham-Logg. In bed till 1pm.

Marita calls on us and we, that is Chris, John, Denny and I, accompany her to the Commercial for a drink. We're beggars for punishment. Come back and eat hot buttered toast and lashings of coffee. They all go at 3 and I make lunch - steak, new potatoes and fried tomatoes. Gloss some doors until 7, watched by John and Chris, who discuss the wild events of last night.

Judy rang me this afternoon, and at the end of the conversation I had a feeling that our love (sarcasm) was over. Glancing through these pages I see that she first came into my life on Friday May 3 - hardly a lengthy relationship. Denny is quite relieved that J is out of the running.


"Rock Your Baby" George Macrae.

-==-

Friday July 19, 1974

Nice day. Meet Denny and Chris in the Generation Bar at 12. Chris goes back to work half an hour later and Denny and I sit drinking until 1.30. Intend to get some clothes for John but whilst passing the Odeon Cinema we notice a Liz Taylor/Michael Caine film and go inside. "Zee and Co". Tremendous film. Finished at about 5.30. Not home till nearly 7. John goes quite insane about my doings in Leeds. "I thought you said you'd finish doing the gloss?" he yelled. Who does he think I am?

General Franco, the Spanish leader handed his powers to the Prince of Spain today due to his illness. I can see we shall have a new King of Spain within the coming week.

With Judith to Wikis after Hare and Hounds. Denny, bless her, refuses to speak to me because of my liaison with 'Miss Screw well'. J and I fall asleep on the sofa and she wakes up in a screaming fit at 5am!!

-==-

Thursday July 18, 1974

I could quite fall in love with several women if the need should ever occur:-

1). Dear Denny

2). Miss Carol Smith

3). Miss Judith Beevers

4). Miss Marita Fountain, etc.

-==-

Monday July 15, 1974

Buy paint for the hall doors. Rainy awful day and typical of summer these days. Denny comes straight from work for tea - sausages and chips, etc. Quite nice. She is annoyed about Judy coming tonight and fails to see the sense in my going out with her. She is of course quite right because neither do I see any sense in going out with Judy, but it makes a friendly diversion from the usual rigmarole. Christine and Linda come at 8.30 with Chris - and Judy follows on at 9. The atmosphere is awful. Judy looks like Hell. Sharon, my distant Kirk cousin comes after 9, with her friend Susan - quite a laughable couple. Go to the Commercial for a few drinks at 10. Back home for coffee - unenjoyable evening really. Dead loss.

-==-

Saturday July 13, 1974

YP till noon. Go to 'Just Pants Plus' and get a pair of wonderful trousers - cords - with an embroidered pattern on the bum - £7.00, etc. Home and in the bath at 2 listening to Tony Blackburn.

Dearest Denny comes straight from work for tea - prawn curry - though we don't enjoy it at all after arguing about Judith. Denny says she wouldn't have come to tonight's party if she had been aware that J was joing to attend. To Hare and Hounds at 8.15. Joined by Marita, who looks gorgeous lately, and MM and Christine Jennings____.In order to cheer up Marita I pull her to my side of the bar where we buy each other Cinzanos till after 10.30. Both quite drunk. Marita having to drive as well!! Party a good success. Denny, who is very drunk, finds her old boyfriend, Ron, and they spend the night together. Judith comes at 11.30 and I ignore her - being very drunk -and she leaves 10 minutes later. Fantastic scenes in the bathroom then follow, and I am in the shower with a massive audience of both sexes. Everyone gets thoroughly soaked, and poor Christine W looks like Phyllis Diller with her hair wet. Linda, Carol, Dave B and Keith and myself have an amusing, unrecordable, session in our small, yet cosy, lavatory. Hysterical. Everything ends at 3am when someone put a foot through the bathroom door. I don't want the party to end but most folk drift off. When everyone is in bed asleep I clear up the mess and listen to the 'Super Bad' LP.

--==--

Friday July 12, 1974

Quite a nice day. YP as usual. To the Hare and Hounds at about 8 with Chris (who comes at about 9.30!), Christine W, John, Andy, Dave Baker and Carol & Linda S, etc. Ring Judith at a quarter to nine and I say I'll meet her outside the Hare at 9.30.

I enjoy going out with Judith Beevers because Keith is so infatuated with her. Move on to the Black Horse at Askwith, though J and I get lost on the way - arriving 10 minutes after everybody else. We have them on saying we ran out of petrol in a lay-by in some desolate spot. Nice time until 10.30. Back to Pine Tops for coffee.

(PS Saw Mum, Dad, Lynn, Sue, Alison and Christine all set off for Spain this afternoon - hate parting with Mum. Even at 19 I feel too attached to leave her for any length of time.)

J and I sit listening to records, whilst the others, John included, watch a rotten old film on the tv. No lively spirits at all in our crowd. Everyone goes at 12 - J included. Party tomorrow - Yippee!

-==-

Monday July 8, 1974

Wake up at 6am dying for a drink. Stagger to the lounge and attack a couple of oranges to quench my terrible thirst. Leave for the YP at 8, meeting Judith R jut before leaping onto the train. She received the letter I wrote last week, and found it amusing, or so she said. Nice girl Judith is. One cannot go far wrong with a girl like that. A pity she doesn't fancy me - I quite fell for her in the autumn of last year, but am quite recovered now of course. Guiseley Station is looking even more posh in readiness for the Royal visit on July 10. Philip is coming to Denny's 18th birthday celebrations no doubt! Looking forward to getting pissed that night.

Janice is 19 today. She's been a good deal more civil since Stuart Beaumont made a honest woman of her, and I quite like her now.

Ring Judy at about 8.45. She says that Jackie is going to marry the bloke she's been living with for the past fortnight. I laugh at the thought of it. John is quite relieved. Sit in the bath thinking about my next holiday in September. Will John and Sheila approve of me taking Denny to Windsor? They've only got the one spare room. Anyway, I can do no more than ask permission to bed down with the dog in the dining room. Really looking forward to seeing Denny on Wednesday. I expect she will be in love with some Spanish waiter or something.

-==-

Thursday July 4, 1974

Restless night really, though I managed to sleep until after 11am. Lynn comes up and sits on my bed talking about holidays - she goes to Spain a week tomorrow and her excitement is very obvious. When I see Lynn it brings home the truth in the theory that girls mature a lot quicker than boys. When I was her age, 16, I was ridiculously childish. Lynn is now the equal of any 18 or 19 yr old male, and I'm quite proud that she's my sister.

It is very ironic that my 'love life' is the way it is. The girl whom I desire more than anyone else wants nothing whatsoever to do with me, and on the other hand an attractive, wealthy girl thinks the sun shines out of my backside, and I neither want her, or neither feel fond of her. Miss June Bottomley wants a large, friendly kick in the right place.

My namesake, Prince Michael, celebrates his 32nd birthday today.

Still no word from Denny, holidaying on the Continent until July 10. Denny certainly promised to send her opinion of the place (amongst other things) and I can't imagine what has caused the delay. However, Lynn didn't get a postcard from Mrs Grandison until they'd been home from Ibiza for 8 days! Can't really see the point in sending letters from abroad if you are going to arrive home first.

-==-

Tuesday July 2, 1974

Wake up at nearly 5am. The sun is rising over the Chevin, and the whole room is filled with a beautious glow. Don't feel well, and fall back into a deep, deep sleep. Lynn wakes John and I at 11 when Andy pays a call on us both. He looks really ill. Hear that poor Linda collapsed while speaking to her parents on the phone, and it seems she was the first to go down with it, Sunday night being the start of the plague. After the half hour visit Andy leaves with: "are you going out for a drink tonight?" I almost go hysterical. Lay drowsily listening to the radio until 5. Force down some steak, but do not enjoy it. My apetite is still unaccounted for.

Sit in the armchair till just before 10 then go to bed. Oh, I nearly forgot. Judy rang at 9 and before I could say anything she told me she'd been ill since yesterday with chronic sickness, wobbly knees, etc. Aaaarrgghhh...it's spreading like the plague....

-==-

Friday June 28, 1974

Ruddy awful day. Up with the early birds and go to the YP in high spirits. Not at all nervous about the ensuing fatal driving test. Have fish and chips at the Albion Fisheries then come home to revise the 'Highway Code' in more detail. Harry picks me up at 2.30 and I have an hour-long lesson in the Horsforth area. Back to the test station which looks official and terrifying, silhouetted against the dark, thundery, stormy summer sky. The chief examiner, a Mr Halliday, gets in the car with me and the test begins at 3.30. Terrible. Half an hour of embarrassing mistakes and idiotic manoeuvering. Back to the test station at 4 in drizzle and rain. Failed. Ah well, better luck next time. Harry comes home with me for tea and everyone offers sympathy.

Ring Marita, who sent me and John 'Good Luck' cards this morning. She offers her commiserations and says that I probably failed because it is the last working day in June, and they have a certain number of people to fail, etc.

Go to the Hare and Hounds at 8. All the gang come. Meet Judy at 9.30. We stay at the Hare before moving on to Wikis, where the three of us, John, Judy and I, spend a pleasant evening. Home at 1.30 and Judy and I stand leaning against the car and discussing all manner of things. Bed at 2. Judy is certainly a lot nicer without Jackie, who can be very overpowering.

-==-