Monday July 23, 1979

_. Eventually climbed out of bed at about 11am and waited for Garry and Bill. The bar was open but neither Dave or I could face having a drink. Garry came in saying his car is 'off the road', and so Dave offered to drive me home. ___________.

Home by 2pm. Mum looks well. She filled us in with all the news and gossip which took us until about 5pm. Poor little Catherine has a heart defect of some kind - probably a hole in the heart. Maria took both babies to the RC church yesterday at Burley-in-Wharfedale and had them christened. It is a sad thought on which to reflect that my tiny, innocent niece is banned by law from ever becoming Queen of England.

Susan and Peter are having an engagement party at Otley on Wednesday night. Dave G cannot make it.

Billy is shattered by the Ibiza experience and has vowed never to go on holiday with us again. They, the lads, stayed to tea, and left for Stockport at about 7pm.

Ally was particularly shy, and dashed off for a sauna with Sue. Susie's hair is permed again.

-=-

to be continued

Saturday January 13, 1979

Dave (Glynn) and I had breakfast with Sue. Poor Mum is in bed with an upset stomach & so she didn't surface all day. Pale and ghastly.

Dave and I had a little pub crawl in Guiseley. We had one at the Yorkshire Rose where an OAP told us that his Jack Russell terrier is pregnant. A tart in the bar referred to the landlord as "you big fat twat". Yes, a nice, tasteful atmosphere prevailed. We made our way to the incredibly dull Regent and finally, at 2:45pm, onto the Station Hotel.

Snow and ice underfoot was something of a hazard to begin with but the more we drank the more confident we became negotiating the glassy footpaths like John Currie and Robin Cousins.{I suspect both these gents are close friends of Jeremy Thorpe, MP}.

Tonight: to Burley~in~Wharfedale with Dave, Sue & Pete to see Lynn and Dave B. The Bakers both looked as fit as butcher's dogs - especially Lynn who is pink and 'radiating'. We all piled into the Red Lion following a pantomime on ice in the car park there. Boozed solidly until 11 o'clock and then took fish & chips back to Lawn Road . We laughed at the fact that for the purposes of the kitty Dave and I were classed as a 'couple'.

We drank until about 1:30am & then Susie and Pete staggered off to the spare bedroom for a further instalment of the wildest pre~marital experience since Anthony & Cleopatra.

Dave B collapsed onto the sofa and didn't bat an eyelid until after 3 leaving Dave G, Lynn and I singing along to Nat King Cole's greatest hits. Dave B makes a regular habit of slipping into a convenient coma at every available opportunity. He hops off to bed or collapses into a medium sized heap on the carpet. Good old Dave. He thrust a £10 note into my hot, grasping hand when I said I wanted to buy a pair of shoes on Monday. (I shall, of course, let him have it back next week). But isn't it marvellous of him to 'see me right'? A real brother is David Baker, a real brother.

Lynn finally carried her husband off to bed and Dave G and I slept in the lounge (or sitting room depending on how posh you happen to be). It was 3:30am, I think.

-=-

Monday January 1, 1979

Bank Holiday in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales

Hullo.

Well, here we go again. We arrived (that is, Sue, Pete, Lynn, Dave and me) at Pine Tops at a little after midnight. We let in the New Year. I kissed mother and gave her a lump of coal (why?).

We had a few drinks and chatted with various people on the phone. Dave G phoned from Stockport hospital. We ate a good deal and waited for John and Maria but they never materialised.

I walked down the lane in driving snow to Molly & Jim's. It was my first meeting with Molly since before July '77. Drank and ate there. Eventually, at about 5am, only Jimmy (Jun) and I remained. Karim _____________. Listened to weird music and had a lengthy conversation about drugs.

Home in bright sun and crisp snow at 8am. Slept until 2. Had a frosty reception from Mum and Dad _________.

Watched the telly. A Tommy Steele film of all things. Bed with square eyes at 1am.

-=-

Sunday December 31, 1978

1st Sunday after Christmas

Miserable and far from festive. Out of bed at lunchtime and went with Susan & Peter to the White Cross. The place was dead. Like a mausoleum in some vast Palladian mansion.

Back to Pete's at 2 for a couple of rums and hot soup {yes, what a combination}. Sue equipped herself with a school skirt and blouse, Peter dressed in a cowboy costume for tonight's 'orgy' at the Shoulder (of Mutton).

I pinched a tub of Jim's Brylcreem for my stunning masque.

Back at home Mum looks very pale and Dad not much better. Sore throats and blocked nasal cavities, &c. We had dinner and a few drinks in an attempt to capture some spirit.

Lynn and David joined us but the sombre atmosphere prevailed. I cannot really put my finger on the fault for this gloom, but something was amiss.

At 8pm - clad in our ridiculous garb we went to the Shoulder. No sign of John & Maria until 10:30 and they didn't come in fancy dress. Maria says John refused to come out in his traditional Scottish gear.

MM, Marita, Denise and Chris R came in for a couple of drinks.  ________. Lynn ignored them and scowled at me when I asked them to come and sit in our little corner. Denise kissed me when they left at about 11.

At about 11:45 with Lynn, Dave, Sue and Peter to Pine Tops to let in the New Year. John and Maria went on to Molly's for the event.

Bye bye, diary. For everything after midnight see the new volume.

-=-

Monday December 18, 1978

Frosty. Uneventful at the YP. Played cards all afternoon and swilled coffee with Sarah, Eileen and Carol J.

John & Maria: second baby in July

Sarah told me that ________- slept with Eamon Patrick Burke on Friday and then went to a party with him on Saturday. I am barely surprised.

Christine phoned. She's not working on Saturday and so we can both take the Regent by Storm (Chapel Allerton).

I have some really serious joyous tidings. John rang from Stranraer and said he'd be down here on Saturday afternoon. JPH sang 'Jack & Jill' for Mum, all in his fine Scottish accent, and told her that Santa is bringing him a police car and a ball. And then John dropped a bombshell. MARIA IS EXPECTING A BABY IN JULY! Isn't this wonderful news? The Rhodes line is to be properly secured in the year of Mum & Dad's Silver wedding anniversary. I'm overjoyed. _______________.

Sue was out at the Hare until 10:30 with Wendy Wool employees. When she came home I informed her she is to be an aunt again.

By the way I go on and on about babies I bet you are wondering why I don't have any of my own. One day, dear reader, one day.

Bed at 1:04am. Poor Lynn won't get the news until tomorrow.

-=-

Tuesday December 12, 1978

I have just been summoned to thee bathroom by Susie who is sitting in a hot bath in complete darkness. "Michael, the bulb's just gone" she moaned. "Go and catch it then" answered I, closing the door. She was splashing hopelessly in the inky black depths. It could have proved nasty if she'd been practicing hand stands in the bath or embroidering a bed~spread whilst soaking.

Enoch Powell: fascist tendencies ...

Have you heard about the ridiculous Enoch Powell's controversial statement on the possible marriage of the Prince of Wales with a lady of Roman Catholic inclinations? The old fool ought to be shot. Obviously, we don't want to the next Queen Consort giving her allegiance to the Pope, but Powell, a Ulster Unionist MP with a little moustache and fascist tendencies is stirring up trouble. I feel sure that the prince is well aware of the impracticality of his marrying a Roman Catholic and do suppose he has no intention of doing so. I am going to state again ~ quite categorically ~ that HRH The Prince of Wales will marry an English rose from the aristocracy or landed gentry (if you can define the two) and in all probability he hasn't even met her yet.

Sarah and I are not having a half~day off together on Friday after all. I'm taking the day off and she's taking Thursday off. It's all part of Kathleen's strike measures. Stupid if you ask me.

Told Sarah that CB is accompanying me to Carol's party on Dec 23, and she didn't look thrilled. She is going with Richard Burke and I haven't complained about that. Anyway, I dislike the Regent (Chapel Allerton) and by going with Christine we can spend most of the evening at the Fox.

-=-

Sunday December 10, 1978

2nd Sunday in Advent

No hangover. Up at a grotesquely late hour. Lynn and David were screaming with laughter in the garden with Mum and Dad and Chris Baker and three or four Christmas trees. Rain was gushing down but it didn't dampen Lynn's high spirits. She is always wonderful and child~like at Yuletide ~ even after all these years of marital agony. This hysteria comes the ancient Wilson love of Christmas which is steeped in folklore and mystery. The things Great~Uncle Albert did with his mince pies cannot adequately be described here.

Discussing next year's holiday with Sue she says that she and Pete cannot be included because they are saving up this year and intend getting engaged in January, 1980, and married in the following June. She'd like to marry on June 19 ~ Mum & Dad's 26th wedding anniversary. Nothing is official of course, and no doubt Peter will be the last to know. She is always so calm about these matters and almost unenthusiastic. In similar circumstances Lynn would be on the verge of wetting herself. I will not believe it until I actually see it.

Dad and Dave went down to Burley (in Wharfedale) to glue tiles all over the kitchen and Lynn and Mum spent the afternoon baking mince pies.

We all ate at about 6:30 and then I persuaded them to watch "Richard II" by Shakespeare on BBC2. Lynn and Dave went off at about 9 o'clock because she couldn't understand John of Gaunt's senile deliberations. I really do think that the young people of today should have more patience with Shakespeare. He is so easy to understand if you are prepared to concentrate. Lynn said she thought the play was boring! How can Richard II be boring?

To bed at 1:00am and shudder at the thought of the YP. Weekends just dissolve, don't they?

-=-

Friday December 8, 1978

Not too hung~over, but all the same  took my weekly dose of Eno's on my arrival at the barren, deserted office.

Malcolm was working flat out to get the EP on the street. I gave him a few items of interest from the Daily Telegraph and he snatched them up eagerly and called me a "grand lad". Am I perhaps a creep, or just nice and helpful? Peter Lazenby wouldn't approve of my assisting here.  Sarah is still off.

At 2 Eileen and I went to Len's for a couple of lagers. At 3 I began my Christmas shopping in torrents of rain and in 90 minutes I purchased five presents and spent £20. Easily done.

Golda Meir: eagle?

Home and dry for 5:30. Devoured a pile of cheese sandwiches. Saw on the news that Golda Meir has died. I believe she is the eagle which escaped from London Zoo in 1966 or thereabouts. (Am I mad?)

Out to the Shoulder of Mutton with Sue & Pete at 8 and are joined by the mob. Johnny is home from college and he is taking us to a party in Headingley tomorrow night  ~ a 'Vicars & Tarts' arrangement. I spent very little but enjoyed it all the same. In fact I was slightly pissed.

Pennies from Heaven ...

At 10 we went to the White Cross and then back to _____West's house opposite the old police station. (He was the lad who thumped me, Dave Lawson and Andrew Dean, after the Fieldhead School prize giving day in Dec 1971). However, Christmas is the season for forgiving. Besides, he bought me a whisky. They played cards and I watched 'Pennies from Heaven' and completed a crossword. Later I read an interesting article on carp fishing in an angling volume which educated me greatly. Home at 1 o'clock and to bed.

-=-

Tuesday October 31, 1978

New Moon 20:06

I bumped into Jacq on Wellington Street this morning ______________. Isn't it supposed to be All Hallows Eve today? Years ago, the four of us, would dash out into the night with lanterns made from scooped~out turnips and proceed to terrorise the neighbourhood. Dear reader, those were the days.

Christine phoned to say that the letter I wrote to her whilst intoxicated on Thursday night is an absolute scream. Evidently, I told her in no uncertain terms that she had to accompany me to Oakwood Hall on Thursday or that I would take it very personally. I then went on to make a cartoon sketch, in red ink, of Mr Jess Yates. I must be a raving lunatic. CB did a good deal of giggling.

Sarah has been her sensuous, tantalising self all day. She has that wondrous, sexy Scorpio personality ~ so sexy. We are going out tomorrow. ______________________.

Tonight watched an interesting programme on BBC2 about the voyage of Charles Darwin on HMS Beagle in the 1830s. It was actually part one of a series. All good stuff though.

Peter and Sue have been playing 'Monopoly'. Susan has had a very poor game ~ in fact she's bankrupt. We Rhodeses have never been financial whiz kids ~ just horribly attractive people.

_=_

Tuesday October 17, 1978

A dull, uneventful day.

Sarah was wearing a locket today, but on inspection it had no photographs in it. I jokingly offered myself as a candidate to hang next to her breast for all eternity, and she leapt at the offer. We are going to do something about it tomorrow.

Mum and Dad went out to tea with Auntie Mabel. Lynn came home to see Susie and me. Sue was very quiet and Lynn commented on this. Lynn says she's only been married for six weeks and already it feels like a life time. Dave came at 8 straight from his game of Badminton. Joined by Peter at about 8:30 ~ he was in a hideous temper. Squabbling with Sue about nothing ~ almost out of habit. They act more like an established married couple than do Lynn & Dave. Oh, belt up. Michael. What do I know?

No contact with Jacq today. Watched 'Roots' on tv.

-=-

Saturday September 30, 1978

Sun rises 6:59 Sun sets 18:42

Met Jacq in Guiseley at 12 o'clock and we went down Old Hollins Hill to the Commercial for a wet luncheon. Didn't like the atmosphere at all and half an hour later we walked from Esholt to the Shoulder of Mutton. Very pleasant and Jacq was soon, once again, quite pissed. Peter, Gus and Chippy rolled in at about 3pm and they took us back up to Pine Tops.

Sue and Jacq had a knitting session and Pete and I grovelled around beneath his car making adjustments to his handbrake. It was my first ever assault on a car. I didn't learn a single thing from the experience.

Later we adjourned to the dining room and drank a bottle of wine and several gallons of home~brewed stout. Jacq gave up on her knitting and phoned her mother. She was finding it hard to focus on the knitting needles.

The central heating caved in and we froze this evening huddled around the TV. Sue, Pete, Jacq and I went to the Shoulder of Mutton (again) where we sat with Gus, Chippy and Frank Hall. The conversation is always of a crude and childish nature and Jacq wasn't amused at all. ____________. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and even consumed a few glasses of rum. They all came back to Pine Tops with nosh from the Chinese take~away and stayed until a very late hour. _________________.

-=-

Friday September 29, 1978

Out of bed at 6:58am and plunged into a hot bath. Whilst tucking into my hot porridge oats I plugged into the radio news at 7:30 and was astounded to hear that Pope John Paul had died in the night from a heart attack after a reign of only 33 days. It's the shortest pontificate since Pope Stephen in 700 AD, or so. I find this hard to take in. Quite ridiculous that all the cardinals are going to have to crawl back to Rome for another conclave.

I spent most of the day playing with the late Pope's pictures. Chris Bye came into the office cheerfully waving a fiver & laughingly told us that on Aug 26 he'd been into Ladbroke's and placed a bet that the new pope would only live for 33 days. Yeah, right. It would finish it off very nicely now if our own Cardinal Hume was elected pontiff. A good English lad at the Vatican to show these Italians a thing or two.

Mum and Dad went off to Scotland this afternoon to see John and Maria in Stranraer. They took JPH's birthday presents with them and are staying for the festivities and returning on Sunday evening.

Tonight I battled through driving rain to see Jacq in Leeds. We met at 8:30 and went to the Central, where she became quite legless on cider. I intended going on a pub crawl but we enjoyed the loud, pulsating music of the disco in the pub, and we stayed until 10:30. She frowned when I suggested moving on to Len's Bar. She knows Sarah hangs out there on Fridays.

I got the last bus out of town at about 11. Sue and Pete were watching TV. He stayed the night. Young love.

-=-

Sunday September 17, 1978

17th after Trinity

Out of bed at 11. Jacq and I kept Mum awake in the small hours of the morning playing records. Sue and Pete announce they are going to Cracoe near Skipton for lunch and they invited Jacq and I to join them at the Devonshire Arms. The four of us piled into Pete's car and headed for the Dales.

At Cracoe Jacq and I only had 2 drinks and no food due to gross financial embarrassment and we watched Sue and Pete eat prawn sandwiches and chips. From here we left for Malham but Pete announced he was short of fuel, and we were compelled to stop off at Foxup, where his cousin farms, to snatch petrol. The smell of the roast dinner at Foxup Farm almost drove me mad.

Back home at 5 we had fish and chips and half an hour later Mum, Dad, Jim, Margaret and Julie left to collect Lynn and Dave from East Midlands Airport. Sue and Pete went down to his house, and Jacq and I watched the telly. Lynn, Dave and party returned at 11. They looked brown, happy and well.

-=-

Saturday August 5, 1978

Sun rises 05:30 Sun sets 20:43

First Day of Ramadan {tabular}

A full day at Burley painting the bathroom. It now resembles a peppermint cream because it's chocolate and lime. Dad and Dave put up beams in the lounge and Henry Baker fixed the sink, &c.

Home at 6:30 and an hour later, clad in white trousers, Philippe Junot~styled sandals, I was waiting at the Station Hotel for Jacq. She arrived ~ a vision of loveliness ~at 7:45 and we messed around for half an hour waiting for a bus to take us to the Fox & Hounds. From the start of the evening we were 'dogged' by accidents of one kind or another. On the way to meet Jacq I was seriously 'pawed' by an Alsatian dog who muddied my trousers. On our arrival at the Fox Jacq went to the ladies (toilet) taking with her my camera and flash cubes in her handbag and when she emerged minutes later she was screaming with laughter and bearing in her hands a conglomeration of wet photographic equipment ~ Yes, it had all accidentally fallen down the bog! Luckily all seemed to be working after we had shaken off the water.

Jacq and I were drinking Stella Artois and we became quite merry. David L joined us and Sue, Dave B, Lynn, John, Maria, Sarah C, John Mac, Christine D and Graham A, &c. Susan had had some sort of fall out with Peter about coming to the Fox and he had gone off somewhere with Chippy. He eventually followed her to the party (David L's) but she had nothing to do with him for the rest of the night. Jacq and I went with Sarah and John and he insisted on having fish and chips first which set us back a bit.

My recollections of the night are dim and mixed. Janet Rootes (Roots?) arrived with Mick Orchard and his wife and we laughed a good deal about old times. She talked about June B but I cannot remember exactly what was discussed. Tony, Martyn and Chris R were there.

A nasty accident occurred. I sat on a glass. A sherry glass to be precise. It gave me a deep cut at the top of my buttocks, and I bled profusely for over an hour. My white trousers were ruined. People filed solemnly through the bedroom to inspect the damage, and it soon became clear that I'd require stitches. So, at 5am Dave B drove me to Otley Hospital where I was given three stitches. The nurses were in hysterics at the sight of my holed and bloody underpants. I looked like the victim of an attempted assassination. We arrived home after 7. Lynn and Jacq were waiting patiently.

-=-

Saturday July 29, 1978

Sun rises 05:19 Sun sets 20:54

I woke up at 7 feeling ratty and unfriendly. Jacq disappeared after having a coffee, and I went back to bed for the remainder of the morning. Mum grumbled and complained when I eventually got up.

Tonight I went down the lane with Sue and Peter where we collected Jacq from the 8:30 bus and then moved on to the Shoulder (of Mutton) where we sat in the garden with Gus, Chippy and Dave Wainwright. Quite a boring evening really. It was after 11 before we decided to leave, and Sue and Pete went into Guiseley for a Chinese take~away. ____________.

Came home and attempted to watch two Lon Chaney Jr films but I went into a coma before the end of the second one.

-=-

Thursday July 20, 1978

Our last full day in San Antonio. Tonight we went out to celebrate Sue's birthday. Chippy and Gus met a group of girls from Dublin, and Dave and I, Sue and Pete chatted with Ken and a couple of girls, whose names escape me, in the bar at the El Capone.

At 11:30pm the four of us said godbye to Jed and Co and we headed for the square near the fountains. At the stroke of midnight Sangria was ordered and we prepared for our last serious drink of the holiday. Isn't it ghastly?

-=-

Saturday July 15, 1978

St. Swithun's Day. It didn't rain in Ibiza. In fact, from the look of things I don't think it has rained here for years. Never before have I suffered so much from the heat. Even Dave G, who is terribly susceptible to the sun, is in a better state than me.

Have I mentioned that topless bathers are everywhere this year? A few dropped their bikini tops last year but this year it's easier to count the ladies with tops on rather than off. Sue, British to the end, absolutely refused to discard any essential items of clothing, and says she's proud of the fact she isn't a sheep. However, some of the females are ghastly and would look much better covered up. Chippy is very frustrated because he hasn't managed to get his end away with abybody. He says he's been out~classed by the jet~setters. Anyone with such a low opinion of themselves, and with such a defeatist attitude, doesn't deserve to get anywhere.

-=-

Monday July 10, 1978

Chippy decided to take out a bloody massive motor bike and take me round the island. I wanted to see Portinatx to give Lynn & Dave a report. We hired one for the day for £7 each and shot off to the S'estanyol to persuade the others to get one.

-=-

Sue and Dave decided to spend the duration in the bar getting pissed, which was fair enough, and Gus and Pete took out a pair of smaller bikes, and we set off in the direction of Ibiza town. I wasn't impressed with the place, and neither was I all that happy about hanging on the back of Chippy as he hurtled at 60 or so m.p.h. across the rough, unmade roads of Ibiza.

From Ibiza Town we headed out on the Portinatx but stopping at a cafe we were told we were 50 kilometres away and we decided over a Coca Cola that our fuel supplies wouldn't stretch that far. We headed back to San Antonio.

By lunchtime I'd had enough of motor cycling and called it a day. It had been exciting but I had had sufficient. He drove like Eddie Kidd with his pants on fire. Chippy cleared off for the remainder of the afternoon.

Sue and Dave were sunbathing at the hotel and not in the least pissed like they said they would be.

Saturday July 8, 1978

Sun rises 04:53 Sun sets 21:18

Ode to Ibiza

Ibiza, you are an island covered in sand,
I visit you every year,
You aren't very big,
and neither are you grand,
but to me you are very dear

I've often walked along the beach,
and gazed upon your women,
to them there's a few things I could teach,
like ridin', fishin' and swimmin'

Oh, that's enough

M.L.R.

Thursday June 8, 1978

Pay day. I gave Mama £25 for the money that would usually be extracted from my holiday pay, which I need to take with me abroad. This leaves me with a mere pittance with which to survive the ensuing week.

The start of this weekly slide towards Hell rolled up tonight in the shape of Mr Peter Nason, who took me off to the Shoulder where we were joined by Chippy, Gus and Dave Wainwright. I find the company of these young men refreshing to say the least. So lively, crude, buoyant and vulgar. What is it that festers the brain of young men on or or around their 21st birthdays?

At 9:30 we moved on to the social club at the asylum (Highroyds Hospital) where we were joined by Sue and Janet Simon. Peter immediately flew off the handle at Sue's intrusion on this, his Thursday night off. I was annoyed at Peter's childish (pre 21 year of age) show of buffoonery. What is the point in going out with a girl for six nights each week, a girl, I might add, whom you intend marrying, and then just because it's Thursday and you accidentally meet you hurtle abuse and be generally rude in her direction? I see no sense in this at all. In fact it's more Sue's fault for tolerating such behaviour.

The girls left at 11 leaving us unable to decide which young people on the dance floor where club members, members of the public or highly dangerous top security patients. It proved an impossible task.

On to Oakwood Hall. I was pissed. Enjoyed it there. Bumped into a girl who is engaged and bought a Britvic pineapple and sat with my arms around her until 2am. Home with Gus. Cut my finger opening a tin. Infuriating.

-=-