Thursday February 22, 1979

_.  The Duchess of Kent is not pregnant - Fred [Manby] has this information directly from York House, her London home. Her cancellation of various public engagements is due to ill health. Happy 46th birthday, your Royal Highness all the same.

A funny night. Peter and I went to the Shoulder, as usual, at 8 o'clock. Chippy was working at the asylum until 9:30 and so we sat about drinking our traditional ale and waited.  Unfortunately, he never materialised, and Peter became quite agitated, and drove desperately around in search of him, from the Shoulder to the asylum, and even to his home. Mrs Ash said he'd left work at 9:30. Peter was like a petrified sheep. _______________ .

I'm a bit fed up of Oakwood Hall. It's far nicer to accompany a young lady to the place instead of relying on a pack of pissed -up whores to take a shine to one when one actually walks through the door half canned, bleary of eye and obviously on the 'pick up'.

Honestly, the older I get the harder it is to chat up the talent. This is because the talent is growing younger and younger. Blimey, most of them nowadays never even saw the 1950s.

Anyway it was to Oakwood Hall with Peter until 2am. Met and danced with another Sarah. She was horribly drunk and had no recollection of seeing me at Oakwood on February 8. Not pissed-up myself.

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Saturday January 20, 1979

Up for breakfast at 10:30. Lynn is acutely embarrassed ~ quite unlike her really. We sat at Lawn Road watching the snow falling all day.

I wandered out at lunchtime to buy tins of soup. The white stuff came up to my knees. Tonight people are saying it is the worst wintry weather since 1963, or dare I say 1947?

Out to the Shoulder of Mutton and the White Cross with Sue, Pete, Lynn, Dave & Alison. I saw Carole in the Cross, and Alison bumped into Martyn in the Shoulder of M. Carole was a wonderful sight, and when she left she gave me a kiss. What fools we are. Martyn bought us a drink ~ it's his leaving 'do' because he starts a new job in Stockport on Monday.

At 11 we went to the restaurant at White Cross. Joined there by Chippy and his young, schoolgirl girlfriend, Debbie. Ate steak. It was over~cooked. Home at nearly 1am.

After my steak I jogged alone up Thorpe Lane knee deep in snow. Lynn, Dave and Ally came back for coffee but left shortly afterwards. They hadn't really enjoyed the evening. Lynn doesn't see eye to eye with Chippy. Nobody seems to like the poor lad.

Sue and Pete arrived after the others had left & they suggest building a snowman in the garden. This we did. But we got quite carried away and erected an eighteen foot monster, and a headless monster too. Susie got bored and left us at about 3am, and Pete and I called it a night when we could no longer reach the top of our creation, even with a pair of full-sized ladders.

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Friday January 12, 1979

I met David (Glynn) at 5:20 at the bus station. Sitting waiting for him clad in my dirty long raincoat my thoughts turned to _________. The National Coach station was a frequent  haunt of ours during our 'romance'. Very nostalgic. It was such a pleasant little affair while it lasted, but it was never really on as far as I was concerned because her constant 'pushy' attitude killed the molecule of respect that lurked in my weird metabolism. _________________.

Dave is in fine shape but looks older. We got home at 6:45 for dinner. The snow didn't help much. Lynn and Dave are here and they invite us to stay at Lawn Road tomorrow. Sue and Pete are asked too. We dined and drank pea wine and then went down to the Fox & Hounds with Sue & Pete. (They have been going out together for 5 years today).  Dave was quiet and complained of indigestion and drank brandy to settle his stomach. Sue & Pete left us to go dine at Queen Anne's Table in Ilkley.

Christine looked like a Goddess. I haven't seen her since the party on Dec 27. I gave her a clockwork dolphin which swims in water as a belated Christmas present. She laughed a good deal as it swam around in the sink behind the bar ~ like the star of 'Jaws'.

Martyn, Peter M (moustachioed), & Steve Hudson came in. Dave enjoyed seeing them. I became quite pissed. Martyn, the bitch, said I resembled Peter Egan's portrayal of Oscar Wilde in the ATV version of Lillie Langtry's life story. Mr Cole is moving to Stockport to be the assistant manager of Samuel jewellers there. Steve Hudson has had a perm. He says I am always pissed. He  might be right.

At 10pm we moved on to the Shoulder of Mutton. CB said she'd phone me tomorrow, but she was far from being her usual ridiculous self. In fact I hate the fact that these days she is always on the other side of the bar to me. She isn't cut out to be servile and certainly no barmaid. In my (drunken) stupor I told Chris R that I am in fact going to marry Christine when I'm grown up, say about thirty. Oh God! I can't wait for that tale to be circulated.

At 11pm Chris and Steve H came back to Pine Tops. We drank lager and pea wine and looked at old photographs. Mum was furious because I was so pissed, and to make matters worse I dropped a glass on the kitchen floor. Dave went and sat with Mum. Dad totally ignored me. Sue and Peter came in. She was in tears. They'd spent £17 on dinner and it had been diabolical. The food inedible. Poor sods. What a rotten fifth anniversary. Watched a blurred Sophia Loren film, but then it was probably my vision and not the telly's fault. Bed after 1am.

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Thursday January 4, 1979

Money. It seems an eternity since I saw a wage packet.

A Cold day, but the snow held off. To work with Jim {Rawnsley} who tells me that Muriel's mother is to be cremated tomorrow. Obviously, she must have died. In fact she departed this life last Friday. The poor old thing was only 68 and had a tumour as big as a tennis ball on her brain. Nauseating thought, eh?

Tonight: out with Pete (Nason), Chippy, Gus, Frank, Dave W, Micky Hebden, Kathryn Chaffer, &c, &c to the Shoulder of Mutton, Highroyds social club and then Oakwood Hall. Had a good dance and didn't get horribly pissed for a change. It is the last Thursday night out for Gus and Frank who are heading out to the Sinai Desert or the Golan Heights, next week. I suppose Gus will disrupt Mr Begin's peace talks and a flare up of the Middle East war must now be on the cards. General Dayan is definitely in for a rough time.

Actually I am not too sure how they will get on in the middle east and my wish is that they stick it out and benefit from the experience.

Chippy _____________________________.

He (Chippy) looked pained when I suggested that the manic Thursday nights will capsize now two prominent members are departing. He almost wept and said that he and Peter will still be out and about. Just the three of us? He says Dave W isn't really a member of the gang, but he always seems to be there when I am around. Chippy always has to be right.

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Sunday December 31, 1978

1st Sunday after Christmas

Miserable and far from festive. Out of bed at lunchtime and went with Susan & Peter to the White Cross. The place was dead. Like a mausoleum in some vast Palladian mansion.

Back to Pete's at 2 for a couple of rums and hot soup {yes, what a combination}. Sue equipped herself with a school skirt and blouse, Peter dressed in a cowboy costume for tonight's 'orgy' at the Shoulder (of Mutton).

I pinched a tub of Jim's Brylcreem for my stunning masque.

Back at home Mum looks very pale and Dad not much better. Sore throats and blocked nasal cavities, &c. We had dinner and a few drinks in an attempt to capture some spirit.

Lynn and David joined us but the sombre atmosphere prevailed. I cannot really put my finger on the fault for this gloom, but something was amiss.

At 8pm - clad in our ridiculous garb we went to the Shoulder. No sign of John & Maria until 10:30 and they didn't come in fancy dress. Maria says John refused to come out in his traditional Scottish gear.

MM, Marita, Denise and Chris R came in for a couple of drinks.  ________. Lynn ignored them and scowled at me when I asked them to come and sit in our little corner. Denise kissed me when they left at about 11.

At about 11:45 with Lynn, Dave, Sue and Peter to Pine Tops to let in the New Year. John and Maria went on to Molly's for the event.

Bye bye, diary. For everything after midnight see the new volume.

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Friday December 8, 1978

Not too hung~over, but all the same  took my weekly dose of Eno's on my arrival at the barren, deserted office.

Malcolm was working flat out to get the EP on the street. I gave him a few items of interest from the Daily Telegraph and he snatched them up eagerly and called me a "grand lad". Am I perhaps a creep, or just nice and helpful? Peter Lazenby wouldn't approve of my assisting here.  Sarah is still off.

At 2 Eileen and I went to Len's for a couple of lagers. At 3 I began my Christmas shopping in torrents of rain and in 90 minutes I purchased five presents and spent £20. Easily done.

Golda Meir: eagle?

Home and dry for 5:30. Devoured a pile of cheese sandwiches. Saw on the news that Golda Meir has died. I believe she is the eagle which escaped from London Zoo in 1966 or thereabouts. (Am I mad?)

Out to the Shoulder of Mutton with Sue & Pete at 8 and are joined by the mob. Johnny is home from college and he is taking us to a party in Headingley tomorrow night  ~ a 'Vicars & Tarts' arrangement. I spent very little but enjoyed it all the same. In fact I was slightly pissed.

Pennies from Heaven ...

At 10 we went to the White Cross and then back to _____West's house opposite the old police station. (He was the lad who thumped me, Dave Lawson and Andrew Dean, after the Fieldhead School prize giving day in Dec 1971). However, Christmas is the season for forgiving. Besides, he bought me a whisky. They played cards and I watched 'Pennies from Heaven' and completed a crossword. Later I read an interesting article on carp fishing in an angling volume which educated me greatly. Home at 1 o'clock and to bed.

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Wednesday November 22, 1978

Moon's last quarter 21:24

A very historic and sad day. __________________________________________.

At 3pm Jacq phoned to ask if I want the (signet) ring which I ordered from Trixie. I said yes. She reminded me about all her records and belongings in storage at Pine Tops. ________________.

Watched television. Bed at 12:15.

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Thursday November 16, 1978

A Brief Encounter. Tonight went with Pete, Chippy, Frank and Gus to the Shoulder and from there we decided to go for one at the White Cross. It was fateful. Who should walk in but Naomi and Carole. My heart missed a beat ________________. She smiled, sighed and said it was entirely my fault that she wasn't still with me. _________.

When we left Chippy commented that Carole is the sort of girl he cannot stand. I took exception to this. He can say what he likes about about anybody, but nobody insults my darling Carole.

To the social club at High Royds and then on to Oakwood Hall. I hated every minute of it. ___________________.

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Sunday October 29, 1978

23rd Sunday after Trinity

9th Sunday before Christmas

End of Summer Time: put clocks back one hour at 02:00

Sarah and I talked last night. We are in a very similar position. ______________________. We are two of a kind Sarah and I. We do think one hell of a lot about each other. She told me that she didn't think she would ever marry.

Jacq came at 12. We went with Sue and Pete to the Commercial for beer and beef sandwiches, and then moved on to the Half Way House (opposite the Shoulder of Mutton) which is a ghastly modern pub full of adolescents and with a grotesque barmaid.

Back home for 2:30 and we settled in front of the tv. Horribly boring. Jacq sat knitting. __________________.

The Prince of Wales is in Yugoslavia on his first visit to a communist country.

Mum and Dad returned from Whitby at 6. We all had a Chinese take~away. Watched 'Lillie Langtry' again. It's not the greatest historical drama ever made. The woman playing Queen Victoria should be horse whipped.

Took Jacq to her bus at 9:30. To bed at 11:30.

Thursday October 26, 1978

Carole phoned. It was marvellous to hear from her because I have been worrying about reports about her health. She just wanted to know what I am getting up to and said it would be nice to bump into me. We talked about John and Maria and she said they should be at home in Yorkshire where they belong. Fogarty's name wasn't mentioned but she enquired whether Jacq was still on the scene. Her "swimming accident" on holiday was in fact a recurrence of last year's mysterious ailment. She has always been a strong swimmer.

Tonight went with Pete, Chippy, Gus, Frank, &c to the Shoulder (of Mutton), Menston Hospital Club, and then Oakwood Hall. The lads vowed never to return to Oakwood after the humiliation of three weeks ago, but there we went. I was pissed up on lager and cider. They all joked about ____________________.

Christine and I must do Oakwood next week. Home at 2am.

-=-

Tuesday October 3, 1978

Sorry about the change of ink again (from red to black). I really am quite sick of the red mess that's dominated these pages since Lynne Mather's demise in February, 1977. I do feel that the time for celebration is over, don't you?

On the subject of my 'love life' _____________________________________.

Christine phoned this afternoon. She's exhausted and flat broke and suggested we postpone our meeting until a week on Thursday. I am very disappointed but agreed to this change of plan. Instead I shall go to the Shoulder (of Mutton) with Peter and the boys. Frank (Hall) was released from hospital with nothing but bruises so no doubt he'll be out to tell the tale.

Back to Christine: she sounded positively devilish on the telephone, so much so that my laughter and loud inuendo apparently brought the office to a standstill and Kathleen had to prod my in the spine and ask me to belt up after about 15 minutes.

Saw "Roots" tonight. Later heard the Prime Minister speaking at his party conference in sunny Blackpool. He really is becoming quite an orator in his old age. But this 5 per cent pay increase limit just leaves me cold. I need an increase of about 105 per cent to bring me into the basic living wage brigade.

Callaghan should have been having a general election this week instead of mucking around at the seaside. This long drawn out farewell can't be doing any of us any good.

To bed at 11:56pm with Adolf Hitler.

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Saturday September 30, 1978

Sun rises 6:59 Sun sets 18:42

Met Jacq in Guiseley at 12 o'clock and we went down Old Hollins Hill to the Commercial for a wet luncheon. Didn't like the atmosphere at all and half an hour later we walked from Esholt to the Shoulder of Mutton. Very pleasant and Jacq was soon, once again, quite pissed. Peter, Gus and Chippy rolled in at about 3pm and they took us back up to Pine Tops.

Sue and Jacq had a knitting session and Pete and I grovelled around beneath his car making adjustments to his handbrake. It was my first ever assault on a car. I didn't learn a single thing from the experience.

Later we adjourned to the dining room and drank a bottle of wine and several gallons of home~brewed stout. Jacq gave up on her knitting and phoned her mother. She was finding it hard to focus on the knitting needles.

The central heating caved in and we froze this evening huddled around the TV. Sue, Pete, Jacq and I went to the Shoulder of Mutton (again) where we sat with Gus, Chippy and Frank Hall. The conversation is always of a crude and childish nature and Jacq wasn't amused at all. ____________. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and even consumed a few glasses of rum. They all came back to Pine Tops with nosh from the Chinese take~away and stayed until a very late hour. _________________.

-=-

Thursday September 21, 1978

St Matthew

Pay day but all the money is gone before the packet has been open for ten minutes. I met Jacq at 1pm and we went shopping for a present for John, who is 22 on Monday. I bought him a pair of tartan socks from Schofield's, and a ridiculous, nauseating birthday card. Mum's wrapping all the gifts in one big parcel and despatching it to Stranraer in the morning.

Tonight I went to the Shoulder of Mutton, picked up on the way by Pete N with Dave W, Chippy and Gus. Dave says I look like Phil Lynott of 'Thin Lizzy' fame. Gus pokes fun at my woolly tie. Chippy makes his usual disgusting remarks. A sensational evening in the pub. At one point we had 25 pints of beer on the table because we purchased four rounds in one go because of the crowding and shortage of glasses.

Oakwood Hall wasn't enjoyable. I felt over nostalgic about the place. It was even worse when I wandered into the garden, because it reminded me of my life with Carole, and that seems such a long time ago. I put all this wallowing down to the fact I was too pissed up. Unhealthy really. Dave W picked up a nurse from Halifax, and Pete was chatting up a 15 year~old blond piece. I don't like to see him flirting with another woman when he's supposed to be attached to my sister.

-=-

Thursday September 14, 1978

Pete N and I went to Leeds at 7:30 to meet Dave G at the Original Oak in Headingley. Pete's first experience of the Headingley pubs!

Dave G has really enjoyed his stay in Leeds and has done nothing but drink since the start of the course. His only task this afternoon was to bring a tin of tomato juice to the boil on a gas oven.

We came back to the Shoulder of Mutton and met Chippy, Gus, Dave Wainwright, Neil Addyman and Frank Hall (who used to reside on Hawksworth Lane), and others. Chippy is taking on the personality of one of his mental patients, but Gus was his usual good~natured self. I was slightly pissed and at 10:30 we all went to Oakwood Hall until some very late hour.

I don't remember it but I am told I assaulted Chippy and knocked a lens out of his spectacles. Oh dear.

Pete took Dave G back to Leeds. Yes, I was pissed and don't mind admitting it. Sat reading Evelyn Waugh until the light of dawn was seeping through the curtains.

-=-

Saturday July 29, 1978

Sun rises 05:19 Sun sets 20:54

I woke up at 7 feeling ratty and unfriendly. Jacq disappeared after having a coffee, and I went back to bed for the remainder of the morning. Mum grumbled and complained when I eventually got up.

Tonight I went down the lane with Sue and Peter where we collected Jacq from the 8:30 bus and then moved on to the Shoulder (of Mutton) where we sat in the garden with Gus, Chippy and Dave Wainwright. Quite a boring evening really. It was after 11 before we decided to leave, and Sue and Pete went into Guiseley for a Chinese take~away. ____________.

Came home and attempted to watch two Lon Chaney Jr films but I went into a coma before the end of the second one.

-=-

Saturday July 22, 1978

Sun rises 05:09 Sun sets 21:04

Jacq went off to Dacre, Son & Hartley at 8:30. I loathe being at home. "My Heart Belongs to Ibiza, Dear Old Ibiza Town" is the refrain, &c.

Mum, Dad, Lynn, Sue, Pete and Dave went out at 8 with the Nasons to to the Riversdale at Burley-in-Wharfedale to celebrate Sue's 19th.

At 8:30 Jacq came up with Cheryl who is staying at the Dragonara in Leeds for the weekend. We had a few drinks and they made me listen to Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' and a Wishbone Ash LP.

At 9 I phoned Chippy at the Shoulder of Mutton pretending to be Eamon Andrews. It went down very well. The three of us went down to the Shoulder for a couple of hours. Chippy fancied his chances with Cheryl. Not a chance. She phoned for a taxi and she and Jacq went off to Leeds. Chippy was furious. He came back home with me and had a few beers and when Pete got back from the Riversdale he drove the lad home.

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Thursday April 6, 1978

Out tonight to the Shoulder of Mutton with Peter, Gus and Chippy. I had pints of lager, bitter and Pernod chasers. Ugh. The three of us laughed our heads off and played ridiculous games, specifically intended to hasten intoxication. Once again my short, tight jeans proved to be the focal point of public amusement. By the end of the evening Chippy said he liked them though.


Gus and Chippy.

From the Shoulder we took Oakwood by storm and drank more, wenched more, and debauched more. I met a girl called Angie and arranged to meet her at Da Mario's (on the Headrow, Leeds) tomorrow. She seemed attractive - you know, petite and all that - but very young. God knows what patter I was giving her but I must have been convincing. I have a feeling that I correctly guessed the girl's 'star sign', but just which one it was escapes me for the moment. (Is she perhaps a Gemini?)

However, if this evening is anything to go by the forthcoming holiday is going to be nothing short of a national holocaust for the Spanish people. I've no idea who the justice minister is in Madrid but I fear he'll know of me before July is over and done with.

-=-

Sunday April 2, 1978

1st after Easter Low Sunday

Still slightly nasty about the gills. A day of toil and labour at 7, Lawn Road, Burley-in-Wharfedale. Even David G worked well (not that he's an idle waster or anything). Sue and Peter came down later to entertain the troops like Morecambe and Wise.

David B was in one of his 'all knowing' 'I know everything moods....' After tearing off old wallpaper I ventured over to see Christine Dibb and Graham (Airey) who are entertaining Carol Smith and her fiance.

Tonight's evening meal was ridiculously large. I felt bloated and sick afterwards, and more booze only added to the overall feeling of greed.

Dave L phoned and said he was going to the Shoulder (of Mutton) with MM and Marita. I only ever seem to see MM at Christmas and New Year. Sue, Pete, Dave G and I went down to that tavern at 8:30 and Mr Lawson and Co joined us an hour or so later. Poor David (Stockport) was bemused by the company and said little or nothing for the remainder of the night.

We returned home, we meaning Dave, Sue, Pete and me, and collapsed before the TV. Sir John Betjeman was talking about railway stations on the 'Book Programme'.



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Monday March 27, 1978

Easter Monday

Bank Holiday (UK, except Scotland)

I fear that I'm the only person in the Kingdom going out to work today. The roads were barren and void of all life. The occasional raincoat-clad old age pensioner kept appearing on the horizon, but that was about all.

Just Sarah and I in the office. Completely dead. We had one phone call between 8:30 and 2pm, when I left.

I left Sarah reading the opera score of 'The Rape of Lucretia' by Britten. She's really into music since Mr MacMurray entered her world.

I walked in the sunshine to Kirkstall and then got a bus home. Spent the remainder of the afternoon sticking photos in Mama's album and then dined at 5 with Sue, Pete, Mum & Dad.

Chris

Christopher phoned at 6:15 to see if I fancied going out. I agreed.  He came up at 8 after dining with Denise at the Flying Pizza in Burley. We stayed for an hour or so in the Fox discussing the adventures of recent times. His 'affair' with Michelle is a weird one. I can't see why they bother. He says Pete M is moving to Otley in June but the Mather's are retaining Ty-Onnen (Bramhope) for holiday purposes. I'm glad because poor Vera (Mather) despises Thornton-le-Dale. I like Chris, but I'm always mindful of what my old grandma used to say: "never trust men with specs who live in Horsforth and work in banks". We went down to join Sue, Pete, Gus, Johnny and Chippy at the Shoulder of Mutton.




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Thursday March 9, 1978

I'd just like to add some more about last night ________________________.

Alison and John returned to Winchester this morning and they gave me an invitation to visit them whenever I wish. Jacq will have to be informed. She loves visiting far off places. Anyway, to get back today ....

Christine came at 8:30pm and we went off to the Shoulder of Mutton. We laughed from the outset because she said I looked like a puff in my narrow 31'' trousers. I sulked and said: "Take me home, Christine." She responded: "Now you sound like a puff too ~ I never thought Mig Rhodes would worry about what other people said about him". "Oh, Christine Sweetie" pouted I, "stop upsetting me with these awful insinuations."

From the Shoulder we went to the White Cross at Guiseley where a friendly Old Age Pensioner handed Christine a bunch of grapes, no doubt as an offering of the kind made to Great White Conquerors on landing on sandy foreign parts not unlike Hawaii. I immediately thought of Mr Christian and 'Mutiny on the Bounty'. Christine spoiled the whole ceremony by depositing the offending fruit in the nearest ash tray. From here we found Oakwood Hall.  The climate was unbearable but we danced all night ~ in between drinking that is.

Tony Simpson, our sports editor, was boozing at the bar, and I told him the sordid tale of ____________ and the abortionist. He was ecstatic to hear my tales of vice.

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