Monday January 1, 1979

Bank Holiday in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales

Hullo.

Well, here we go again. We arrived (that is, Sue, Pete, Lynn, Dave and me) at Pine Tops at a little after midnight. We let in the New Year. I kissed mother and gave her a lump of coal (why?).

We had a few drinks and chatted with various people on the phone. Dave G phoned from Stockport hospital. We ate a good deal and waited for John and Maria but they never materialised.

I walked down the lane in driving snow to Molly & Jim's. It was my first meeting with Molly since before July '77. Drank and ate there. Eventually, at about 5am, only Jimmy (Jun) and I remained. Karim _____________. Listened to weird music and had a lengthy conversation about drugs.

Home in bright sun and crisp snow at 8am. Slept until 2. Had a frosty reception from Mum and Dad _________.

Watched the telly. A Tommy Steele film of all things. Bed with square eyes at 1am.

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Saturday June 10, 1978

Sun rises 04:44 Sun sets 21:16

Birthday of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

At 3:30pm I met Jacq in Guiseley and we tracked down John and Maria at Ridgeway. Maria's parents are visiting Hugh in Canada. Jimmy Mac took some photos of me and Jacq and that was the only bit of excitement other than watching JPH attack an ice lolly. Maria was looking tanned but I was told it's painted on. She'd forgotten to do one of her legs. From 4 until after 6 we sat with John, Maria and Pamela Horrocks (nee Moffat). I was bored but the ladies didn't notice my yawns through the blanket of smog and coal dust thrown out by their endless 'assembly line' of cigarettes. Jacq must have had 10.

By 6pm my polluted lungs could take no more and I dragged Jacq back to Pine Tops for sandwiches. At 8pm Jim and Margaret came and after watching 'The Good Life' on the BBC we went with them and Mama and Papa to a barbecue on Carlton Lane (at Penny's Farm?). Alcohol flowed like pig swill. Our party managed to consume most of it. Sue, Pete, Gus and Chippy were there. The food was mediocre but the company was interesting with such old cronies as John Little, Joan Taylor (Kevin's mother), &c. In fact, all the old Silverdale mob appeared. Jacq, Sue, Pete and I were among the last to leave and Mum and Dad tottered out (both really legless) shortly before us. We were in high spirits. We got home safely enough ( I don't know how) and we immediately plugged in the headphones, selected a suitable record and poured out of the lager.

Mum was locked upstairs in the WC for two or three hours (Oh dear) and so Jacq was forced, much against her will, to urinate in our well stocked herbaceous border. How embarrassing. I had to do the same, but on opening the kitchen door I espied the car abandoned on the drive and I was temporarily distracted from the call of nature. It was the car. It had a huge hole in the right hand wing and a considerable amount of paint was missing. Oh no! But who drove home?

It was almost dawn when Mum alighted from her watery throne and she admits the culprit is she, although she cannot recall striking anything. Obviously, it was a dry stone wall. Dad, who had been too pissed, had handed her the car keys.

Mum was soon in floods of tears. Jacq always sees her in this sorry condition.

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Saturday May 13, 1978

Sun rises 5:13

Sun sets 20:42

Up at 10:30. Jacq had left at 8 to go do her bit for Dacre, Son and Hartley. Dear Mummy and Daddy departed for Scarborough with Edith, Ernest, Margaret and Jim Nason, and we'll probably never see them again. It will be a booze-up to end all booze ups.

Before she left Mum moaned at me about waking her at 3:0am. She does have 'bionic ear holes' does my Mummy. Nobody else on earth could possibly pick up the signals she receives.

Jacq didn't get here until about 5:30. She had her hair done at Vidal Sassoon's. She says they (Sassoon's) will perm my hair for £12 and should I decide to go ahead with it I have to ask for some suspicious character who answers to Terry.

With Sue and Pete we went to the Shoulder (of Mutton) at 8:30 where the merry party-goers gathered. Tony, Martyn, Jill Rhodes, Chris R, Pete M, Steve Hudson, John, Maria, Linda White (not Shite), Jimmy Macdonald, &c. I was soon horribly drunk. I do remember laughing with Linda until the tears gushed down my thighs.

Jimmy Mac and Jacq just didn't hit it off one bit. He tried to tell Jacq what it really is like living in London, having lived there for almost four years. When Jacq explained she'd been born there and had been knocking around the metropolis for a quarter of a century he pooh poohed this saying something about not being able to judge by living in 'bourgeois Muswell Hill'.

Back at Tony's little flat I was closeted in the kitchen and cornered by Jimmy who went on and on about Aldo Moro, the Pope and democracy. I do believe John joined in too.

I fell on the floor on top of Michelle ~ with her locked in my arms ~ after a dance went critically wrong.

The girls from Smith's were there in force including Georgina and Co. Even Wendy "Cynthia" turned up with Yvonne Elliman.

Linda brought the 'Saturday Night Fever' LP with her but they didn't let us play all the way through.

Martyn Knipe brought Jacq and I home at some ghastly hour and I immediately put on the record player and went into the garden and vomited.

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Friday February 17, 1978

Sarah.

Hangover all morning. Sarah and I went to the Highlander for a few drinks at lunchtime and it helps to clear my head nicely. We arrived back at the YP at 2:30 to a frosty reception from Kathleen. It's always the same when we leave Carol alone. She always pulls Kathleen to one side in order to blacken our characters, and K falls for it every time. Sarah went home at 4 half pissed. She and John Mac are hitting it off. She tells me she's never been out with anyone quite so calm as John. _______.

No call from Jimmy Mac this evening and so 'Operation Drop' is abandoned. I loathe that pub anyway.

Lynn phoned me at work to tell me Mum and Dad have gone to Ambleside for the weekend and won't be home until Sunday night.

At home Sue is getting ready to go out and is drinking cherry wine by the half pint. By 8 o'clock she'd sunk the whole bottle. It's good to see I'm not the only piss artist in the family. By 'going out' time David is not back from Gloucester and so I went to the Fox & Hounds with Sue and Pete. Joined by Pete M, Chris, Martyn and Tony. My boots were received with the usual wisecracks. At 10:30 I went with Sue and Pete for some food and came home. It was cold tonight. I was compelled to drink whisky.

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Saturday December 31, 1977

_.Jacqui and I went down to Guiseley and bought a birthday card for Mum and Dad. I chose a nice one without a revolting, soppy rhyme in it. I'm very particular about my choice of greeting cards. We then went to the Yorkshire Rose for a couple of hours. ____. It began to rain on leaving the pub and so I took her to John's for refuge only to find the house deserted. _____.

Pine Tops, Hawksworth Lane.

The party started tonight at the Hare & Hounds. Martyn and his girlfriend joined us. In came Christine Dibb and Graham, Maria, Libby, Jimmy, John, Sue, Peter N, Chris, Steve Hudson, Lynn, Dave B, Dave L, George and Jane, Nason's pals, MM and Marita, &c. Lynn was dressed in dungarees and wearing specs, one of my shirts and a tie! They all got on very well with Jacqui. _____. Libby Macdonald looked ghastly. No sign of CB or Carole. At 11:45pm a break away party, led by me, returned to Pine Tops where, to my horror, I discovered my key was locked in the house and I was locked outside. Where was Mum and Dad? They were at the Commercial drinking Southern Comfort and making merry. It was very embarrassing for me. But in a flash I knew what to do. Edith and Ernest's of course.  Armed with sherry and other obscene drinks about ten of us 'dropped in' on the dear couple. We all toasted the New Year with them as the clocks were striking 12 and I was locked outside, as is the custom, with Dmitri the Persian cat. Through the window I could see Marita and Ernest locked in a tight embrace and a host of jovial faces drinking David's cheap sherry. Oh dear, it's 1978 now.

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Wednesday December 28, 1977

_.Ghastly day at the YP and so I'll say no more. However, John's party tonight made up for it. Feeling decidedly Bohemian I clad myself in a collarless shirt and braces and ruffled up my hair and reintroduced that glazed glint to my disgustingly attractive eyes. Lynne Mather was there. Her reaction on seeing me was to exclaim: "Oh Michael! Haven't you let yourself go?" Let myself go indeed.  It proved to be the punch line of the whole evening. Poor Lynne looked quite well really and she seemed to fluctuate between David L and MM. It's very unusual for Dave to fall for the charms of any female, but a definite warming towards Lynne was obvious. Denise and Marita on good form.

Lynne Mather.

Helen and Graham were the best. I didn't realise until this Christmas just how much I miss Helen. Two years ago we were always in the pub together, invariably bringing the place down and seeing her again has brought these memories flooding back.

Maria was very drunk. She banged about on the piano, cig in mouth, destroying Christmas Carols.

The whole thing fizzled out long before I wanted it to. Jimmy Macdonald reckons he's a wild boozer, but when it all boils down to it he's an average drinking man of moderate nocturnal habits. Even John danced. By 3:00am it was over.

-=-

Monday June 6, 1977

A wet, revolting day, but an amazing evening. Everyone utterly bored - especially Lynn, who took to eating until she almost made herself sick. Mum and Dad went out for the day and so did Susan and Peter. Lynn told me that __________.

Tony and Martyn came up in the afternoon and watched cricket on TV. Incredibly boring it all was. At 7.30 we went off to the off-licence and then up to the Emmott's where we were joined by Sue, Pete, Lynn, Dave and Jimmy Macdonald. From here we all went on to the Chevin. The traffic was unbelievable. Thousands just to witness the Jubilee Beacon, which went up at about 10.30pm. Tony wanted to dash off immediately afterwards, but everybody had the same idea, and we're blocked in for just over 2 hours. Sue, Pete, Jimmy and I sat on the car roof with our bottles singing 'Vivat Regina' and other appropriate Jubilee melodies. I attempted to sell clumps of 'Jubilee turf'' to the assembled mob, but have no success. Jimmy does nothing but laugh.

People in the crowded Royalty pub were locked in and subsequently we were locked out. I attempted to push Susan in through the ladies toilet window, again without success, but we had tremendous fun all the same. Jimmy and I wandered back to the blazing beacon for half an hour before returning home at about 1am.

Mum and Dad said they'd been on the Chevin Road but couldn't get near the beacon. They saw Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony too. _____.

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Wednesday April 20, 1977

Obtained a signed copy of 'Majesty' by Robert Lacey this afternoon. Lacey was at a YP Literary Lunch with Harold Macmillan and others and Carol managed to lay hold of a copy for me. 'To Michael In This Her Majesty's Jubilee Year' it says. Read about 80 pages before embarking for the Hare & Hounds tonight and really enjoyed it. Of course I recognised many of the quotations because I've read virtually everything on the Royal House of Windsor and I am a leading authority on Her Majesty (Yes, he's showing off again).

Peter N drove me to the pub and we had a couple of drinks together. Judith was in with Kathyrn Ann Young (I have confirmed the spelling) and a Highroyds Hospital psychiatrist is making them laugh hysterically. Peter left after after a couple of lagers and Judith and Kathryn joined me at the bar. Guinness, Pernod, Tequila, &c. I even knocked a pernod and orange clean off the bar. Heart-broken I was. John came in with Jimmy Macdonald and Fogarty. _______. Back to Judith's until 1am. I was a bit pissed.

Home to bed with 'Majesty' and read as far as King Edward VIII and his brief reign. Yes, even in a state of intoxication I can open a volume of a serious nature and pass a pleasant half hour. You are indeed looking at the diary of brilliant scholar, can't pass exams, but brilliant all the same.

-=-

Friday August 6, 1976

Carole rang me at work this afternoon to say the usual things about feeling the same way about me, &c, and that she's written a letter and wants me to reply.

Dave L rings at 7 o'clock and says he'll give me a lift down to the Hare at 8.15. Ten minutes later Lynne rings and says she has arrived home a day early and we meet at 8.30 and go to the Hare. Everyone at the pub except Peter M and Christopher. Carol Smith says she saw Peter with Carole outside at about 8 but they didn't come in.

John & Maria, Jimmy and Elizabeth all come in together. A pleasant enjoyable evening. Jimmy tells me he's making a pond in the garden at Ridgeway, and I'm enthralled. I tell him I'll go round tomorrow and investigate. He's quiet all night and when I enquire: "What are you pondering about?" He replied: "My pond."

Maria is massive. Dave L says that when you walk past somebody it's over in a flash, but walking past Maria takes some time. One could read several chapters of 'War & Peace' and still be negotiating her bump. She is a big blue mass.

Home at midnight to watch a 1941 Ingrid Bergman epic. Not very good really. Make coffee for Lynne and she disappears over the horizon at something like 1.30.

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Friday July 23, 1976

I don't feel like talking about work today. After all, there's more to life than bloody slogging away like a half wit and no further elaboration is needed.

At tea time I tell mother that her mother would have been 80 today. She says her mother was 60 when she died in 1957, and that she had been born in 1897. My records must be incorrect. It's a rotten shame that my grandma didn't live longer. My memories of her are very vague but I think I remember seeing her propped up in bed in what must have been the year of her death.

Lynne comes up at 9 o'clock and we go down to the Hare & Hounds. David and Lynn are in for the first time in months. John & Maria are very boisterous. Chris didn't really say much __________________. Lynne and I stood with Jimmy Macdonald and his so-called mate Bob, a repulsive freak who works in Bradford City Council Planning Dept - which is probably why he's unhinged. They talk about Balzac and other obscure 19th century authors. At 10.45 Lynne and I announce to the mob that we are going to Harrogate's Damn Yankee for a pizza. Nobody else felt inclined to join us and so off we went on our lonesome. The food is delicious and quite inexpensive. Lynne suggests I stay at Ty Gywn for the night and I fall in with her wishes. Peter was entertaining Richard Mair/Mayer/Mare/Mayre for coffee and after his departure Lynne and I sat for half an hour. Slept in a sleeping bag on Peter's bedroom floor.

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Friday July 16, 1976

Buy a pair of shoes at lunchtime after having spent all morning showing a 16 year-old girl the library & the cuttings and filing system.

That night: Lynne comes at 8.30-9 o'clock & we go to the Hare. I previously presented her with an old pair of jeans I no longer wish to wear & a white rose. We laughed a good deal but once we were in the pub the communications seems to have lagged somewhat. Dave L was out with Sandra and so was Christine & Stuart, who go on holiday to Austria & Italy next week. John & Maria, Andy and Linda, Chris, Pete M, Jimmy Macdonald, &c, all in the pub. At 10 we moved on to the Black Bull in Otley for an hour. Lynne sits with Maria deep in conversation whilst John, Dave, Jimmy, Chris, Pete, stand at the bar.

John bought four New Zealand White rabbits for £4 today from a mate at work who was going to drown them! The soft hearted nit! This benevolent act of reprievement will now boost the rabbit population of Tranmere Park and the launching of John in ther career of breeder extraordinaire.

Home with Lynne to Pine Tops at 11.30 for bacon & egg sandwiches with Mum & Dad. The two of us sit until about 3 o'clock and she drives away into the dawn looking tired and shagged out.

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Wednesday April 14, 1976

Go down to the Hare & Hounds on the 8.10 bus and meet Carole outside. John comes in with Jimmy Macdonald and we boys have a laugh together. Carole mopes because she thinks I am ignoring her and says I should perhaps have left her at home and had a night out with the lads. I am sure she thinks I contrived to meet John and Jimmy, but it was purely coincidental, and after all, why can't I have a chat with my prodigal brother? I'm not tied to Miss Phillips's apron strings.

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Friday March 12, 1976

A hectic day indeed. Get up at 12.15 feeling quite fit. John is in a terrible state and remembers nothing about last night. He and Maria go shopping in Bradford whilst I sit in the dining room thinking of something to say in my speech tomorrow.

Jim Macdonald comes round at 3 with our morning suits. They look tremendous on. Mum and Dad go out shopping all afternoon and then back to Jim and Molly's to discuss the buffet.

I rang Carole. Stunned to hear she was involved in a nasty road accident this lunchtime. Her friend was driving a car down Butcher Hill in Bradford and ran into a van or something. Both girls were hysterical but not seriously hurt. She says she only has a bruise on the head.

I go down to see her at 8 o'clock after having been to a wedding rehearsal at Burley. Her forehead is cut and it looks hideous. Why didn't she tell me this on the phone? Her Mum and Dad don't even know how she has come to receive such a wound, and haven't bothered to force the truth out of her. Funny goings on indeed.

We go across to the Hare where Mum and Dad join us with the rest of the gang at 8.30. John is out but no Maria. He has a last quiet drink before the burdens of responsibility weigh him down. See Ian Appleyard with his wife and Kevin Taylor. Home with Carole who's sleeping the night at 11 o'clock or so.

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Monday September 15, 1975

A pleasant evening at Miss Maria Macdonald's. John went round at about 8pm and I wallowed in the bath until about 8.20. Mum was at the Commercial & Dad was working and so I was the only one at home.

David came at 8.30 and we had a drink of Ouzo. (By the way, Sarah came back from Corfu bringing me a bottle of the local poison called Ouzo, which is what me and David tried to pollish off). Round at 'George's' Carole was sitting dressed up in Mrs M's pre-war gear - fox fur stole included, and her eye was swollen. Whilst the girls were playing around we rigged up the tape recorder to capture Maria's playing (the piano) forever on record. Mrs M was in stitches, and we hid the microphone in a vase of flowers.

At 10pm the five of us went down to the Commercial for a quick one. Carole bought a round of drinks and wouldn't let me pay. Even Dad came in at about 10.15 straight from work and we all sat together near the fruit machine talking about, of all things, religion. David was reckoning to hate Roman Catholics.

Back to 'George's' until after 12 and I tried in vain to find a track from an LP which Jimmy played for us on his birthday.

John came straight home from the Commercial because he was tired, and when I arrived home he was sleeping like a baby.

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To be continued.

Friday July 25, 1975

Great evening. John and I go down to the Hare at 7pm for a few drinks before going round to 'George's' for the coming onslaught. 'George' is 17 tomorrow, though you'd think she was much older. This isn't intended as an insult by any means, because I like her very much. We go to the Macdonald residence at 7.30 and meet Hugh or Hew, her brother, and his wife. The women take hours to get ready, and whilst the gentlemen are waiting we consume quite a few whiskies.

I know it's shameful, but I can't remember the name of the place in Bingley where we dined. I distinctly remember spilling a glass of red wine over the table and on Jimmy (Macdonald), 'George's' older brother, but the service was perfect and the waiters were falling over each other to clear up the mess. A trio played soft music whilst we ate, and after the meal they had a bash at a few rock 'n roll numbers. 'George' was playing the piano and Jimmy did a turn on the drums. Hilarity.

Carole, who I was supposed to partner, was incredibly dull, and didn't eat a thing, which put me off her straight away. She doesn't eat meat, fish or vegetables, and takes rellish in baked beans, and other crude substances. Is is down to her Roman Catholic upbringing? Mr Macdonald refused all offers of cash, and footed the bill himself. 12 of us: Mr and Mrs Macdonald, Hugh and his wife, Jimmy, John, 'George', Pamela Moffat, Carole and me. Sorry, I mean ten of us. Phew, it must have cost a fortune.

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