Wednesday January 26, 1977

Pissed up indeed. Lynn Rhodes (my dear sister) fancied going out for a jar or two with me in the absence of Mr Baker, and I readily agreed. We caught a bus to the Hare and immediately entered into the spirit of the thing. Simon (Denise's work-mate) and his lady friend with the name that escapes me, sat with us and he was 'eyeing' Lynn all over. He thought I was indulging in a bit of  the old 'One-Two-Three-Knees-Up-Knickers-Off-Blossom-'Op-into-Bed-with-Me-My-Old-Fruit' and seemed saddened when I explained that Lynn is my sister. CB was in. She wasn't on form. Where was that famous humour that brought tears of joy to the eyes of thousands at many of the London Palladium matinees? It was because she was driving. The curse of the 20th century is the motor car. The prime example of the 'evil' wrought by this innovation is Christine Braithwaite.

The Trav....

Martyn came into the Hare and after depositing Lynn on the last bus at 10.45 or so the two of us went to the Stoney Lea at Ilkley with Karen, his sister. What a ruddy dead loss! Only six of us in the damned place and at midnight the bar closed and we were out on the street. This did not deter us. With Andy Dale and Chris (his next-door neighbour who was in the police force) we went on to Il Trovatore, or El Lavatori, or whatever, which was once the Minstrel's Gallery. I demolished the best part of £7 and ended up in such a state. God. Was I gone? Blotto. Slept in Martyn's lounge from 4am to 7.30am. Please don't ask me how I felt.

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Thursday December 23, 1976

What a bloody laugh. Lynne beetles her way up the lane at 7.30 and we take Sue, Pete N, & Mr & Mrs Nason to the Craiglands [hotel] in Ilkley before dropping off Martyn's 'things' at his residence. Miss Mather and I then motored to Neville's Wine Bar [she prefers Neville's to the Vineyard for some ridiculous reason] and after putting away a bottle of wine I suggest going to Stuart's flat for my jeans and pullover. An innocent enough suggestion you may think - and it certainly was meant to be one, but Oh dear, just see what occurred. 

We found Stu and Andrew attempting to clean up in readiness for Mr & Mrs Walker's visit for the festive season, but I gave them leave to crack open a bottle of Scotsmac. One or two bottles later Stuart, far from being a sober manager of W.H. Smith and Sons Ltd, happened accidentally to refer to Lynne as 'Carole' - a name not unfamiliar to Miss Mather's ear-holes. With this slight she leapt from her chair with the words: 'Come on, Michael. We're going.' With a flourish she swept from the room like Lady Bracknell. I, of course, had no intention of leaving and remained firm and defiant throughout. Minutes later she's sat in her squat little car beneath the balcony of W.H. Smith's, and I proceeded to give a Mussolini-like lecture from above. Then she was gone into the darkness, not unlike [Stanley] Baldwin's departure from Fort Belvedere in 1936. 

A much warmer atmosphere was circulating in the upper chambers of that bastion of book selling. In fact the mood of we three lads was not unreminiscent of the aura circulating in the private suite of Adolf Hitler on the night he made himself chancellor of the Third Reich. [That's enough dictators, I think]. Minutes later, Stuart, Andrew and I were at the Stoney Lea where we made merry until 2am. Andrew Walker Esq pinched someones cigarette lighter, which wasn't very nice, but things like this do happen when one is as pissed as he was. The theft of a lighter is a much nicer crime than say raping three nuns in the rear of taxi - or is it? [By the time you, dear reader, sit reading this rape may well have been legalised].

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Saturday October 2, 1976

Out with CB, Martyn, Chris, Pete M & Jane S to the Hare & Hounds, the Knights Bar at Ilkley, and then the Stoney Lea. A good time was had by all but that's all you're going to get on the subject. Bye Bye.

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Thursday September 16, 1976

Still no Maria developments. Go with Lynne to the Hare & Hounds, the Red Lion and then the Stoney Lea. The latter place is packed with prostitutes and what appears to be a coach party of married, fifty year-old women, set free for the night. Disgusting. One tart in particular was seducing a little chap young enough to be her grandson.

Lynne is gorgeous. She's in a new pullover - Angora wool I think. Her hair is flowing too. She is more luscious with her locks hanging loose. Not that she is unattractive with her hair in a bun you understand, but you know how sexy I think long hair is. Don't I go on at times?

Home at 1.30am and Lynne almost has a weep in the car. Thornton le Dale may well be an attractive village but the Mathers should never have moved there. She had a savage argument with Peter on Sunday about the whole business. Sad.

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Saturday August 28, 1976

Up at 8.30am!! Planned to see CB but changed my mind over a cup of tea. Go up to see Mama, and she sends me to Dr Ludlow to get some tablets for her pathetic back [ache]. I also go to the library and get a pile of books to entertain her while she's bedridden.

Home at 12.30 and go straight out again. This time with Dad to Morrison's. Do the week's shopping and after lunch the two of us go down to 69 Silverdale Dr where we get on with the decorating. I rub down and sandpaper the lounge window and undercoat it. John comes in just as we are leaving to inspect our efforts. He stands around like the 1st Duke of Marlborough watching the progress of the building of Blenheim Palace.

Home at 7o'clock and after a hurried bath I go down to the Hare with Lynn & David. Lynn sitting on my knee in the [Triumph] Spitfire. See Judith and Kathryn and they have people in stitches with their quick flowing repartee and humorous chit-chat. CB and I go into the tap room and ring to book a taxi to collect us from the 'Upstairs, Downstairs' disco at the Stoney Lea. She gets pissed and tells me that she wants to go to bed with me. She always says that when I'm involved with another woman.

Tony and his 'latest' [girl] from Hertfordshire come in to the Hare at 10 o'clock, and they take CB, Carol Smith and me to the British Legion in Ilkley where we pass a hysterical hour waiting for Martyn. Up to the Stoney Lea at midnight with Martyn, CB and Carol S in a taxi, and don't remember all that much about the next couple of hours. CB and I are together all the time, and I feel revoltingly guilty, deceitful and unpleasant. I bet Lynn and Dave have something to say in the morning because I had the distinct feeling that disaproving glances were coming my way.

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Thursday July 22, 1976

Lynne M and I go into Burley-in-Wharfedale to the Red Lion for a drink and then motor down to Ilkley to the Stoney Lea for further alcoholic refreshment. Lynne and I get on famously. Very similar sense of humour.

We go to Oakwood Hall where drink gins and tonics and a quick prance about on the dance floor make it all the more of an enjoyable night. I wore my 'El Capone' T-shirt which was eyed with a certain amount of curiosity by the other patrons.

The ruddy Olympic Games are getting me down. If watching them hour after hour at home on the TV isn't enough it is just the bloody limit to go into a discotheque and find crowds of people in the bars and on the dance floors watching an under-nourished Olga Korbut leaping around a stadium as if her arse is on fire. TVs in discos must be a bad idea. Anti-social and bloody diverting they are.

Home at 1.30am.

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