Wednesday April 14, 1976

Go down to the Hare & Hounds on the 8.10 bus and meet Carole outside. John comes in with Jimmy Macdonald and we boys have a laugh together. Carole mopes because she thinks I am ignoring her and says I should perhaps have left her at home and had a night out with the lads. I am sure she thinks I contrived to meet John and Jimmy, but it was purely coincidental, and after all, why can't I have a chat with my prodigal brother? I'm not tied to Miss Phillips's apron strings.

-==-

Friday April 9, 1976

To the Hare & Hounds as usual. Carole's bruises have subsided now and she's looking somewhat better.

Maria tells me that the child will be John Philip Rhodes, Jun. Won't confusion arise with two members of the same family having the same name? For the next twenty years John will be tearing open his sons mail and vice versa. The prospect that the issue may prove female cannot be overlooked. Maria likes the names Emma and Charlotte. I always think of 'Charlotte the Harlot' when I hear that name, but it is attractive. Emma reminds me of a typical grandmother and although it's a popular name at the present time I cannot see the name sticking in fashion for very long. I hate to think that my eldest nephew/niece is going to be saddled with a white elephant of a name.

-==-

Friday April 2, 1976

I am sick of this Phillips business and feel useless and small over the 'inactiveness' I have shown. Any true boyfriend in days gone by would have challenged the blackguard in question to a duel and dawn or something, but I've done absolutely nothing to defend poor Carole who is horribly bruised and in a state of great depression.

David rings and he picks me up at 8pm and off to the Hare & Hounds we go. Ian Appleyard and Kevin (Taylor) are in but keep themselves to themselves. I do not enjoy the evening because of the state Carole is in and am aware that everybody is looking at her disfigurements.

All the mob are in. We stay until closing time. John and Maria came in at 10 in a 13 year-old Volkswagen which he acquired today and at 11 he takes Carole and I back to Dunedin for a coffee. Mr & Mrs Mac are in Peterborough for the weekend, and when I suggest that we - the four of us - should endulge in an orgy - all I received was three disgruntled stares.

Carole and I came back to Pine Tops where we had gallons of tomato soup and toast, taking the time up to about 3.30am.

-==-

Sunday March 21, 1976

3rd in Lent. The clocks were altered again early this morning and so we all lost an hour in bed and I emerged at about 11.30, I think. Throwing back the curtains I received a shock indeed. Snow is coming down by the bucket full and a massive white mass is the only thing to confront ones eye-balls. Yes, it is the first day of Spring.

Dave, Pete and John all exchanged cars this morning. John sold his spitfire to David and David sold his 'Baker Mobile' to Peter - who has yet to take driving lessons, but hopes to start shortly. I feel so sorry for John, who is now carless.

After piles of porridge and greasy bacon and fried sausage I look at the Sunday papers. The Queen and Princess Margaret had a meeting at Royal Lodge yesterday to discuss the separation. Who'd have believed it? And who is willing to bet that within the next three or four years we will be reading of 'The Princess Margaret, Mrs Roderic Llewellyn' in the Court Circular? But to be serious, the whole thing is a great tragedy especially for the poor Queen who has dedicated her whole life to building the House of Windsor into a secure dynasty only to have her 25 years on the throne marred by her sisters marital problems.

All afternoon and until 11 o'clock tonight Carole and I sort out Mum's photo collection and re-bind the lot. Exhausted ans short tempered by the end of it.

David takes Carole home in the spitfire. I come to bed and mess around looking for something to read. The library days seem so long ago.

-==-

Monday March 15, 1976

Frank rang at about 11 o'clock tonight to say Uncle Jack (Paine) died at 9.45 this evening. It's a horrible shock because he was at the wedding two days ago and was back at Pine Tops afterwards. I even have a polaroid photo of him sitting with Susan and Carole. He was joking with Cousin Stephen in the hallway and he told me his whisky didn't have enough dry ginger in it. He did look ill, and I can't help thinking that sitting around in that cold, clammy church helped him on his way. Poor Auntie Mabel will be desolate without him.

Lynn got me out of bed at about 7.15 as far as I can remember. Jim wasn't anywhere to be seen and so I got a bus to Leeds with John & Maria's wedding photo under my arm. (Jack Simon, the wedding photographer brought a copy up to our place yesterday afternoon and because the EP photographer didn't show up I took it into the office for them to publish). The photo appeared in all editions of the EP tonight.

I am very proud of John and Maria and hope they have a long and happy life together.

Clear out the bedroom tonight and packed all John's remaining belongings into a suitcase. I'm moving into the small front bedroom tomorrow and giving the larger back room over to Lynn and Sue. I'll be glad to get out of it. Without John it wouldn't be the same.

Carole rang at 7.30 and we chatted for about 30 minutes. Watch TV until Frank rang with the bad news.

-==-

Sunday March 14, 1976

2nd in Lent. John's first full day as a married man. I am up at 12.15. Uncle Harry explained the symptoms of his chill to me over morning tea.

In Lynn's bedroom Carole is apologising for being ill last night. I keep thinking about what Jackie said to me ____________. I really do think she is enormously attractive.

Have a cooked breakfast with Mum. John and Maria rang from the hotel this morning. They're leaving for Scotland before lunch and hope to be over the border in time for their evening meal at their hotel in Howick. He (John) was laughing at Maria's insatiable desire for food. A lovely girl though. Stunned at the thought of having a sister-in-law.

Carole gets up for an hour and then goes back to bed. I'm concerned that she hasn't eaten a thing since the wedding reception.

See "The Barrett's of Wimpole Street" on TV this afternoon and decide that the most talented star in the whole film is 'Flush' Elizabeth Barrett Browning's pet spaniel.

Carole emerges from her pit at 7.30. Drink vodka (except Carole that is). Take photos with my polaroid camera. Carole is still unwell and sits trembling like a leaf, from shock I think, and as Molly Macdonald told me this morning, it sometimes takes a year to get over an accident like that.

David takes Carole home at 11 and I retire to a bedroom. A bedroom without John, which is weird and unusual.

-=-

Saturday March 13, 1976

The wedding of the year. I was wakened at 8am by Mum. Look out of the window onto a cold, wet, damp, unhealthy scene. John stirs half an hour later and curses the rain because he wanted to clean the spitfire and make it respectable for the ensuing honeymoon.

Mum and Sue go off to have their hair done & I go over the marriage service with John, make a speech for the reception, and make myself generally presentable.

The girls are back at 10.30 whilst Lynn and Carole in the meantime are knocking back Cinzano and lemonade with gusto. I tell them that the bride may be blushing, but the bridesmaids will be belching. Sarah and Delia arrive with flowers. Susan blow-waves John's hair while he goes over the marriage service yet again.
Clad in morning suits John and I go in a Rolls Royce to the church. At the church by 12.25. Pay the organist, deal with the registrar and give Father Scannell his money. The guests arrive and by 1pm they are all seated. The bride is 20 minutes late and the priest announces dryly from the vestry door that Maria is now on the missing persons list and that she's probably changed her mind.

She comes down the aisle on the arm of her Dad and accompanied by Lynn, Sue and Elizabeth Macdonald. The service is hysterical really and old Scannell turnd it into something of a circus. He embarrassed John and upset Maria and I left the church afterwards feeling stunned that such a ridiculous 'palarva' can be called a marriage service. The signing of the register was riotous.

The reception was first class. I was on the top table next to John, and Auntie Mabel and Uncle Jack sat directly opposite. Jim Mac made a lengthy speech and I followed it up with a small one of my own. All went off marvellously well really.

Party at the Macdonald residence tonight. Masses of relatives attended and the highlights were: 1). Auntie Eleanor and Jackie having a tremendous row, 2). Jackie telling me __________________________; 3).Poor Carole getting as pissed as a newt and me having to bring her home at midnight. 4). John ringing after setting off on his honeymoon to say he'd broken down at a place near Settle and had booked in at a hotel for the night, &c.


-==-

Friday March 12, 1976

A hectic day indeed. Get up at 12.15 feeling quite fit. John is in a terrible state and remembers nothing about last night. He and Maria go shopping in Bradford whilst I sit in the dining room thinking of something to say in my speech tomorrow.

Jim Macdonald comes round at 3 with our morning suits. They look tremendous on. Mum and Dad go out shopping all afternoon and then back to Jim and Molly's to discuss the buffet.

I rang Carole. Stunned to hear she was involved in a nasty road accident this lunchtime. Her friend was driving a car down Butcher Hill in Bradford and ran into a van or something. Both girls were hysterical but not seriously hurt. She says she only has a bruise on the head.

I go down to see her at 8 o'clock after having been to a wedding rehearsal at Burley. Her forehead is cut and it looks hideous. Why didn't she tell me this on the phone? Her Mum and Dad don't even know how she has come to receive such a wound, and haven't bothered to force the truth out of her. Funny goings on indeed.

We go across to the Hare where Mum and Dad join us with the rest of the gang at 8.30. John is out but no Maria. He has a last quiet drink before the burdens of responsibility weigh him down. See Ian Appleyard with his wife and Kevin Taylor. Home with Carole who's sleeping the night at 11 o'clock or so.

-==-

Thursday March 11, 1976

John's 'stag' party in Leeds. Stags are: David Baker, Esq; Martyn Cole, Esq; Christopher Ratcliffe, Esq; Keith Brown, Esq; Peter Mather, Esq; & of course the VIP himself, Mr John Rhodes. Poor Peter N had his ingrowing toe-nail removed yesterday and was unable to attend, but the rest of us had a 'whale of a time'.

David, John and myself went to the bus stop near the Station Hotel at 7 o'clock but no bus arrived for half an hour & so we had a pint in the Station plus one small bottle of whisky. Met Keith on the 33 bus at Rawdon and we travelled into Leeds together. Met Pete M, Chris and Martyn at the Ostlers before moving on to Brahms and Liszt, where a jazz group banged away like fury but sounded quite good really. We then went to the Highlander where I splashed a half pint of lager over a nice looking woman, but nothing came of it. All of us then piled into Cinderella's which was full of 'Hen' parties. We were all paired off with drunken betrothed specimens in frilly nighties and policemens helmets. Just as I was warming up Chris told me that John was unconscious in the Merrion Centre and so it was my lot, being best man,. to accompany the patient home in a taxi, which arrived home at about 1.15am, splashing about in John's vomit. The driver was most amiable about it considering the circumstances and only charged me an extra 50p for the cleansing of the automobile in question. David and Martyn came back to our place by taxi at about 1.45am. Phew! What a night!

-==-

Tuesday March 9, 1976

Spring morning. Rejoice to the Lord on High for delivering us through the harrowing ice of winter. The daffodils and bright green buds give one a deep sense of thankfulness, and I for one wouldn't trade the English countryside for anything ... well, perhaps I'd swap it for a night in bed with Felicity Kendal and Helen Mirren, but that's about it.

At 8 John drives me down to the Hare. He's getting uptight and irritated. When I remind him about ringing Andy about the 'stag night' he's almost violent and tells me to shut my mouth. I yell at him and then get out of the car and he just drives away into the distance.

I go to Carole's and we walk back to the Hare & Hounds. We sit in the lounge and she keeps asking me what's wrong, and I keep telling her 'nothing'. But she knows when I have something on my mind. I am worried about John. _______________.

Home on the bus at 11.10 and go straight to bed. PS - Mum went over on her foot in Guiseley this lunchtime and is now crippled. Will she be hobbling at the wedding? See tomorrow's installment.


-==-

Saturday March 6, 1976

Lynn's 'Coming of Age' party at the Yorkshire Rose.

Carole and I spent the whole afternoon buying Lynn's present and finding something suitable for John & Maria. The strain imposed on us by this harrowing shopping nightmare did nothing to make either of us better natured, and by 3 o'clock - after 3 solid hours walking around Leeds - we were near to blows.

We bought John and Maria a dinner service for £13.50 and I was compelled to haul the whole lot around numerous boutiques and ladies fashion boudoirs. My arms were just about paralised by 4.30. Home we came on a 33 bus and we parted company on icy, cold terms. I rang Dad from the call box on Fieldhead Road and he drove me home.

Everyone is busy at home. Jackie is the first guest to arrive at about 5.30. Met Carole - who looks adorable - at 6.20 off a bus at the bottom of the lane, and we have a few drinks at home before leaving for the Yorkshire Rose at 7.30.

The party is a success. Jackie is stunned to see the bruises on Carole's arm that had been done by her revolting father. We had to tell Jackie who'd done it because she was looking straight at me as though I'd been battering her about.

Lynn made a nice little speech from a table top amidst the remnants of half eaten cheese sandwiches and sausage rolls.

I've no idea what time the family returned home, but I do know it was after 2am when Uncle Harry found himself locked in the cellar of the Yorkshire Rose. We all had a tremendous piss-up at our place and were still grooving away at 4am.

Cousin Jackie and I were in hysterics when Uncle Harry accidentally set fire to his trousers, and I just about choked.

--===-=

Sunday February 29, 1976

Quinquagesima. It's the first time that February 29 has fallen on a Sunday since 1948, and it won't fall again on the Sabbath until 2004. Aren't I a walking encyclopaedia then? If you think I'm going to divulge just where I found this item of information you'll have one Hell of a wait because I'm not going to tell you until 2004. See you all then.

A nice day and John and I go for a drive in the spitfire with the roof off to Burley-in-Wharfedale. We get Mum a plant from a garden centre and heading home for lunch we see Carole at the bus stop waiting for the bus to come up to ours. John goes down to pick her up whilst I have lunch and she sits in the dining room with great expectations of going for a walk afterwards. Maria comes round with Prinny (spaniel) and she chats with Mum about the flowers. I can't believe my eyes when I look at Maria. She's getting enormous, and the heir to the Rhodes Empire isn't due until September.

Carole and I walk round Tranmere and call on Molly. She talks for hours and we don't get out until after 4 when it starts to rain.

Dad and John are decorating Maria's bedroom and I almost feel sorry for them both as they peep at us from the Georgian-style windows of 14, Ridgeway.

-==-

Sunday February 22, 1976

Sex(agesima). Sit on the settee with Carole until after 4 o'clock this morning. The sun was creeping over Otley Chevin by the time I hit the sack, and I didn't feel at all tired. Carole is a darling. She maybe backward and dull-witted, but gorgeous all the same. Our only problem is one of communication really. Sometimes we get on like a barn on fire, but on other occasions I feel as though I'm banging my head against a barn wall because she just doesn't understand a word I say. I had the same feelings of frustration last year in Majorca when a German girl couldn't understand that I wanted to dance with her. However, I hasten to add, I am not serious in any way and I could never make her my wife or 'constant companion'. I'll be battling on in a single capacity when Carole is the proud grandmother of scores of children.

Up at lunchtime and the two of us go for a bracing walk down through Esholt Woods and round to Silverdale to see John & Maria's house again. (PS - I went to look at the house yesterday afternoon with Lynn & Dave, and we had a coffee with Bessie Little and Stuart.) Carole was startled by the smallness of the place and likened it to Paul's rabbit hutch. Modern houses do look small when compared with Pine Tops Palace.

Back to our place at 3 o'clock and Mum, Lynn and Sue depart for the Macdonald residence where they remain until evening.

Just Carole and I left and we watch a bit of TV. Arthur Negus in 'Going For A Song' -and then played records until 7 o'clock.

Had tea with Dad - just the three of us. He is baffled by her ignorance. I've come to the conclusion that nobody can hold a conversation with her.

-==-

Tuesday February 17, 1976

A wet damp day again. Carole goes to hospital for a check-up on her kidneys this morning and we meet in Leeds at 1 o'clock again. These ventures out a lunchtimes are rare, and it's weird going out two days in a row!

Things in the news: Angola, Angola and Angola. All we hear about on the TV news and in the newspapers is of the struggles going on in this futile African country where Cubans, Russians and ex-convict British mercenaries are killing each other for a piece of territory that's about as big as Wembley stadium. It doesn't make much sense to me and I think most people are confused by it all too. Ian Smith won't be too happy about it in neighbouring Rhodesia and bloody revolution will undoubtedly follow in that fascist colony now.

See in the EP that Basil Hume, Abbot of Ampleforth is the new Archbishop of Westminster and the next (only) English cardinal. As head of the Roman Catholics in England he'll conduct important ceremonies like, for instance, the marriage of Mr John Philip Rhodes with Miss Maria Christine Macdonald next month.

Carole rings tonight and so too does Christine White just to make sure we know the arrangements for Friday nights excursion to York. Carole's communication was just a gosspipy one. She has a way of aggravating me on the phone (don't ask me why) and I much prefer to speak to her in the flesh. She did say that she will not go for a hospital check-up again and nothing I say will deter her from this point of view. However, the gruesome activities they get up to with her blood samples made me feel sick just hearing about them.

-==-

Tuesday February 10, 1976

A Spring-like day and everyone seems to think that winter's gone for another year - or at least everyone in the office feels this is so.

Sarah sees in one of the papers that Elton John is on at the Grand Theatre on April 29, and after contacting the place she tells me the tickets range from £2 to £3. I shall have to contact Carole on this subject and see if she fancies seeing the midget singer in the flesh. No doubt millions of his fans will turn up on the day in question and hog all the tickets.

Keeping my ever watchful eye on the peerage I see today that a prospective duke is engaged to be married. Lord Settrington, grandson and next-but-one in succession to the Duke of Richmond is set to marry a certain Sally Clayton.

Home at 5.30 to roast beef & Yorkshire puddings with Mum, Dad, Lynn, David & John. Maria bought her wedding dress on Saturday.

David and Lynn are in a roving mood. We meet Carole and go to the Hare at 9.30 after seeing 'Fawlty Towers'. We sit for about an hour chatting about what things will be like in 40 years time and discussing Garibaldi biscuits, which Lynn has never heard of. Carole, poor soul, just cannot grasp my sense of humour at all, and at times it becomes very trying having to explain everything in great detail. Dave brings Lynn & I home at 11 o'clock and I mess about doing sod all for an hour or so.

-==-

Monday February 9, 1976

A brighter day and I go to work without that revolting, black imitation leather coat for the first time since the bleak, bone-chilling winter set in - all those months ago.

John & Maria went down to the Silverdale estate again today and put down a deposit, or something, on a house there. I am puzzled though because John came back saying that the builders cannot install central heating in the property until July, when Maria will be 18. I fail to see what Maria's age has to do with the plumbing arrangements. The house won't be ready until May/June, & so they'll have to live with Jim & Molly for a couple of months or so.

Stuart rings from York to say that Brummels will let us all in on February 20, if I want to arrange a select coach party for that date._______. To think that Phyllis Whitethighs, heir to the Whitethigh's chain of supermarkets will be engaged in just over two weeks time! Everyone seems to be falling to this dreaded disease which seems to snatch away young people in the prime of life. Surely some cure could be found to rid the land of it? Tighter quarantine laws would help for a start, because this 'engagementomania' as it is scientifically termed, is very widespread on the Continent and the wops are somehow carrying it over with them on the Channel ferries and hovercrafts.

Carole rings at about 8.45. The Old Man and Lady Phillips are still not speaking to her and she's obviously upset by it. Mum thinks they may be pining for an invitation to attend the wedding of the decade.

Saw Susan George in quite a good film and (to) bed at something after midnight.

-==-

Friday February 6, 1976

Twenty-four years ago today Princess Elizabeth learned in Kenya that she had become Queen of the United Kingdom & Head of the Commonwealth, &c.

A night at home in what seems like the first time in many, many years. John took me down to the bus stop at 8.30 and I waited for a few minutes for Carole, who comes on the bus. We walked up the lane together and sat watching television with Mum, Dad, Sue and Peter. Some bright spark suggested going to the off-license for a few bottles and for fish and chips. The venture cost me and Mum £3 between us, and I decide it would have been cheaper to go get drunk in the Hare & Hounds.

I attempted to review my financial situation tonight and decide that £10 a week hidden away will give me my annual holiday without much trouble.

I rang Denny about John and Chris cancelling, and she says they have definately lost their deposits but I insist that Peter and I still want to go. Admittedly, the wedding and other events will make this year quite expensive, but I don't see why I should have to call off my holiday.

Lynn and Dave get back from the Hare & Hounds at about 10.30 and we all watch a Marx Brothers film which is hilarious. Groucho is still fantastically funny, whereas the rest of the gang are dated and quite humourless now.

Carole is taken home by Dave at 1am or 2am.

-==-

Monday February 2, 1976

Up at 7.50 to discover my hair is standing on end and jutting out in all directions as though I've been electrocuted. No amount of brushing or combing restores it to the norm. Hell, it was only cut on Thursday!

Monday is usually quite busy with Sundays national newspapers and the rest, but by 2.30 I manage to have everything under control.

Delia Collis sent an estimate for John & Maria's flowers and it's very good really. Maria's bouquet will be £6 and Libby's, Lynn's and Sue's will be £3. Delia will do a good job.

See in the EP that Dorothy, Countess of Halifax died today aged 90. The old girl once lived at Hickleton Hall, near Goldthorpe, where Mrs Wagstaffe worked as a domestic servant 60 or 70 years ago. (Mrs Wagstaffe was our aged next door neighbour at Goldthorpe 10 years ago). Old Lord Halifax was Foreign Secretary at the time of Munich and almost became Prime Minister in May 1940 instead of Churchill.

Carole rang at lunchtime and we had a nice chat.

-==-

Saturday January 31, 1976

Marita, 21. John & Maria get engaged. However, this historic and fabulous event was marred by my antics this afternoon when I 'finished' with Carole on the phone at 2.45.

It was something I decided to do last night, and is something I regret having done. She wept and said she loved me and wanted to know my reasons, and so I went down to meet her at the White Cross. I marched down Thorpe Lane wrapped only in a scarf and was soon frozen stiff. Carole met me walking down the lane and we both walk back to the Cross. She couldn't stop crying and I became horribly upset by it. Her devotion and love for me was so clearly obvious, and I realised that life wouldn't be the same without her. Both blue with cold and wet with tears we walked towards Menston, and stood weeping on each others shoulders near Highroyds Hospital. I asked her to go on loving me. Don't ask me why I changed my mind because as far as I was concerned I had finished with her, and all I had to do was walk away, but when it came to it I could not take my arms from around her.

She went into Guiseley to get John & Maria a present and I returned home with a severe case of frost-bite.

Later: Met Carole at her place at 7.15 and go over to the Hare & Hounds immediately. For one and a half hours we're on our own. The others begin to roll in at 9pm and Mum & Dad come in with Jim and Molly.

Maria's engagement ring is a diamond set in white gold and looks perfect. The party starts at about 11 and is a great success. All the mob came suitably furnished with presents.

Chris and Christine were the last ones to leave. John went to bed at about 2.30 and spewed his guts up. Sat up with Dave B, Lynn, Carole, Maria & Mum until about 6am.

-==-

Friday January 30, 1976

January has certainly been a hectic and eventful month. To make matters worse Helen L came in tonight sporting an engagement ring from her boyfriend in Worcester, and the shock of both Helen and John's news proved too much for CD to bear. She was near to tears and needed a few strong drinks to revive her.

Carole was quiet again. John says it's because Maria has not asked her to play at bridesmaids, but I cannot believe she'd be so childish. Her mood is because John & Maria's future seems secured, whilst ours just meanders along. Her childishness at times staggers me and makes me say and do rash things that I regret.

I come home with John and Maria in the spitfire at about 11.15 and sit brooding in the dining room about Carole. I just don't want to see her again. A clean sweep will make things better. Oh I don't know really. Is it just a phase I'm going through?


to be continued