Sunday June 30, 1974

3rd after Trinity. Lovely day. Mr and Mrs Gadsby and family come at tea time - very surprising, and they seem quite normal and not at all bitchy, vile, disgusting and degrading. Arrange to go to the Emmotts at 8.30. See Lorraine, June's friend, on the bus, who says that she will be in the Emmotts with Sue Bottomley. June is there and is a picture of beauty. I sit with her until 9.30, when Judy comes - looking very attractive indeed, but she is totally eclipsed by the shining beauty of Miss June Bottomley. Never will I forget the bright yellow dress and brown necklace. Judy doesn't like my company and she brings me home at 10. Sit in the car outside Pine Tops until about 11. Chris brings John home and he tells me that when they went back to the Emmotts at 10.15, June, Lorraine and Susan promised to come to my party on July 12. No doubt June thinks she is saved from the hazzards of my passion because I am going out with someone else - Oh, how wrong she is! No one can take the place of Miss Bottomley in my heart - not even the wealthy landowning ladies of the Bradford suburbs. Supper with the Gadsbys. Bed at 12.


"She" by that French chappie.

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Monday June 24, 1974

At about 8 o'clock John and I decide to go out and we nip up to the Emmotts after having a conversation with both Chris (who isn't going out) and Jackie, who laughs the whole time that I am talking to her. Arrive at the Emmotts at 8.20. We sit with Ivy and her toothless companion until 9.20. She asks me about June again, and I say that I haven't seen her to speak to since April. John gets the drinks and we make the one pint each last the hour. We get the 33 into Guiseley and go to Orchard's chip shop, where Mrs Orchard says I am much more handsome since when we last met - quite a good complement to receive in a fish and chip shop crowded with sex-starved schoolgirls all pink and scrubbed fresh out of the swimming baths. Walk home with fish and chips. See 'Emmerdale Farm' and reads bits from lots of different books in the bookcase. Bed at 11.30.

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Monday June 17, 1974

Beautifully warm day. John and I take Hugo on the 'Long Walk', in order to avoid all the crowds who have flocked to Windsor to get a glimpse of the Garter ceremony. See Princess Anne in her speedy, little car and she smiled at John and I as she passed us on the Long Walk. Whilst recovering from seeing HRH, Lord Snowdon races past with a young lady in the passenger seat - not Princess Margaret either.

One year ago today I split my trousers in the gents of the Fleece in Horsforth, and I vowed to send June a safety pin on the anniversary of the occasion until either one of us ceased to be. I don't think she's dead so I'll have to send her one.

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Saturday May 18, 1974

Lynn and I go to Bradford where I spend £9.50 on a beautiful cheese-cloth shirt and a pair of trousers - long overdue. In Smiths we see Denny working in the travel agency and we spend an hour with her. Lynn and Denny get on so well together it's s shame they don't meet more often.

At 7 I ring round and make plans for the evenings entertainment and Chris says we'll meet at the Hare and Hounds. I ring Denny and tell her to be at Menston for 8. Chris rings back and says: 'We've changed plans, Mig,' which annoys me, and he says the venue is switched to the Dyneley Arms. However, I say that John, Denny and I are going to the Hare and Hounds and we'll probably see Chris later on at Wikis. At the H and H Denny is furious and says that Bruno brought her down and then drove off leaving her outside the pub. But we do enjoy ourselves and John sits with George Waite and Jane Lockyer and the latter gets horribly drunk and sits weeping in the centre of the Tudor Lounge much to John's amusement. Denny and I sit by the juke box and are joined by June's friend, Lorraine, and Christopher North, who I don't like. Lorraine tells me that June got in to Bingley College of Education, which is very nice. Whilst I was 'pointing Percy at the porcelain' Lorraine attempted to extract information from Denny, who played along with the game superbly. I came back and made Denny laugh by telling Lorraine that D and I were 'just good friends' followed by a knowing look and a titter. Lorraine was sent packing her suspicions aroused. No doubt June will soon know of my night out with Denise Akroyd, her arch-enemy. We walk to Wikis, and John follows on the bus. Denny and John are the first to dance, and Chris comes over alone at 12. At 2, Denny is picked up by 'an old friend' of the male sex, who proceeds to monopolise her for the remainder of the evening. Chris, having nowhere to go, comes to our place where I set up the camp bed in the lounge. I collapse in bed at 3 and sleep until 11.30.

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Saturday May 11, 1974

Up at lunchtime and do nothing all day. Andy mentioned something about a disco at Benton Park when I saw him last night and John and I decide to go along tonight to see if it's any good. Chris agrees to come, agreeing to meet in the Emmotts first. Sue, Peter, Martyn and Al all come to the Emmotts before going along to Benton themselves. Heavens! Sue isn't 15 until July! I feel guilty about entertaining a sister in a dubious public house four years under the lawful age. See Ivy, who looks ill. She says she hasn't seen June or Sue B for weeks, and last saw them in the Stone Trough, a pub which June never liked. Chris, John and I move on to the Trough, and I had a whisky, which Denny persuaded me to drink at Wikis last night. The Benton thing is a tragedy. See Keith with Helen! She is her usual self. Also see Glynis, Helen Taylor, Vilma and Judith Lea. We leave at 11 and John and I have fish and chips in Guiseley before going home.

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Wednesday May 1, 1974

May is here again. Not feeling too happy at the moment and I feel as though my love life is lacking. However, I haven't as yet broken my resolution not to write to June, though I would still marry her at the first chance, even tomorrow, if she'd let me.

Work all day. Home at 6 to find John on the phone talking to Chris who passed his driving test this afternoon! Everyone is thrilled. John and I go to the Emmotts at 8 and are joined by Andy, Christine W and the delightful Carol Smith. Keith and Laura come later and John and I go with them to the Commercial whilst the others go with Andy. We expected to see Mum and Dad in Esholt, but they didn't turn up. At 10.30 John and I walked home, arriving at 11. Very enjoyable evening - the Commercial is weird, but quaint.

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Tuesday April 23, 1974

St George's Day. Very late for the train and nearly miss it. See Philip Knowles who is going to tech with a friend. See in the EP that the Queen gave the Garter to Lord Abergavenny, a close friend, and Lords Shackleton and Trevelyan, who are both life peers. The Most Noble Order of the Garter, the highest English honour, is restricted to about 26 members, that is not counting the Princes of the Blood and Foreign Heads of State, and the Queen seems to be widening its membership. Three years ago it was given to Lord Rhodes of Saddleworth, a one-time miner! Still no word from Barclaycard. Driving lesson at 6.30 which is better than last week but still rather hopeless. Ring Chris at 8 and ask him to come to Margaret Grandison's market research thing on Thursday, not forgetting to tell him that £1 will be his for the asking. He agrees. He went to the Emmotts with Laura on Sunday and then went to the Hare and Hounds. 'June was in the Emmotts on Sunday', he said with great excitement, but I say 'Oh really?' with a slight false yawn. See 'Napoleon and Love' on ITV. Hopelessly wrong, and poor Mrs Lane would die if she watched it. Little Nappy may have had nis moments but he was cerrtainly no Casanova. Bed 12. -==-

Thursday April 18, 1974

Rose at 11. Decide to make resolutions. 1). Never to go the Emmotts again; 2). Not to post a letter to June, and to try and forget her. Lynn and Sue are in the bath, seperately of course, which prevents me from bathing until 11.30. Mr Little and Stuart come and collect Stuart's dart board, which he left on his last visit in February. The little horror had no shoes on his feet! Later: Mum, Dad and I go into Guiseley and I browse around the library for half an hour. Get no books.

Go to the YP at 5. All the girls gone, except Kathleen that is. We have a very quiet night, and I find it very enjoyable. Kathleen and I discuss my career over a coffee and she thinks that journalism is what I should aim for. She intends making inquiries in that direction.

Whilst filing I notice that Richard Crossman, the Labour MP, died on my birthday and think it strange that little publicity has been given to the fact. The Express recently said he had cancer, but that is all.

The cheerful man who does sporting activities, I can't remember the name, kept yelling: "What would you do if an important person dies?" However, my capabilities cover the personalities side of the library, and it's things like Turkish politics, etc, which I find worrying. The cheerful sporting character laughed when he discovered that I was going home by taxi, saying: "I knew from the very start that you had class." Kathleen went at 10.15 and I held the fort alone until 12. Taxi came at 12.15. Home by 12.35. All expenses paid as well!!


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Wednesday April 17, 1974

Up with the larks at 7. Kathleen works wonders with my new rota at the YP. My first night shift begins tomorrow night at 5 until 12. The company is even to pay my taxi expenses which is a marvellous move. It seems therefore that my luck is in full strength this week. Forsee a lazy day tomorrow with no work until 5. Home with Judith who is very high spirits today. Driving at 6.30 - slightly better on last week though I feel as though I will never make a driver of any good repute at all - this fact is mirrored in the distraught face of the instructor. At 7.30 John says he's going out to the Emmotts, having had a conversation with Chris. I agree to go with him.

Andy, Linda, Christine W, Chris and self make up the party. Quite lively discussion. Conversation ranges from hospitals to cars, Napoleon and Josephine (were they really the great love story everyone, except ITV, makes out?). Christine really seems to loathe John now, and he realises this. Chris was moody again and didn't talk much. Christine, John and self have decided to stop going to the Emmotts. We are quite sick of the place now. Both John and Christine like the Hare and Hounds. Home at 11.30 on bus. Write a 'heart rending' letter to June then decide not to post it. She really does create more chaos with my life than everything else put together. Everyone laughs at my infatuation for her. Chris says she is too immature by far to appreciate my feelings for her. He's probably very correct.

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Sunday April 14, 1974

Easter Day. Rose at 11 o'clock. See a religious epic film on the BBC. They always give the public some fanatical religious film on Easter Sunday.

Turkey lunch is very successful. Mum reveals some startling things afterwards. Whilst reading Elizabeth of Glamis she notes that George VI had the same operation on his leg in 1949 as Uncle Bert had at Christmas time. If George VI and Uncle Bert have anything in common, poor uncle will be dead within 3 years.

John rings Chris after 6.30 and agrees to meet at the Hare and Hounds. I don't like the idea and want to go to the Emmotts, because June nearly always goes on Sundays. John says I must be insane, and I realise I must try and stop this crazy infatuation. However, it is so frustrating to know that she will be sitting in one place whilst I am sitting, equally miserable, in another.

Susan told an amusing story of little Margaret Saxton when the little girl walked in the room on Friday (Good Friday) and sat next to Sue looking terribly miserable. "What's wrong?" asked Sue. "I'm very upset", she replied. "They crucified Jesus today." Very sweet.

Meet Chris and the Hare and Hounds at 8.30. A very pleasant evening indeed despite the small numbers. Chris, John and I make such a happy team.


"Seasons in the Sun" Terry Jacks.

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Tuesday April 9, 1974

Wake up at nearly 12 o'clock. I know it's a ruddy disgrace, but who cares anyway? Still very upset about June, who may be stark raving mad but doesn't usually back down from arrangements. Anyway, I dropped a letter in the post, and I'll expect a reply when I see one. No doubt about it, I must be completely off my rocker, because no other male in existence would chase a female around for 8 months with nothing to show for it!

A beautiful afternoon and I collapse on the back lawn with a deck chair, dark glasses and Elizabeth of Glamis, not forgetting the radio. Believe it or not, but I have never appreciated the fact that both the Queen and Princess Margaret were born by caesarian section.

Driving lesson 6.30 to 7.30. A hopeless lesson really. Quite scrappy from my point of view - but he didn't despair really. Read all evening. Such a lazy existence isn't it?

Hear that Sue and Toffer are selling the CW for £15,000 and buying a public house in Wales for £37,000, near the coast. Sue wanted to take a pub last year but changed her mind. I don't think they are movingt till August, because Lynn says the couple who are taking on the CW will not be married until July. Life will not be the same without dear Sue Riley.

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Sunday April 7, 1974

Palm Sunday. Out of bed at 1.30!! Well, hardly any point about feeling guilty about it. After all, I am on holiday. Cook some marvellous steak for lunch, then sit in front of the tv watching a James Cagney film all afternoon. Looking forward with rellish to my liaison with June this evening - our first date since August.

Leave Pine Tops at 7.20 but don't arrive at the Emmotts until 8.20 - quite forgetting that the 55 bus only runs once every hour on the Sabbath. See Chris, who is in conference with Ivy - but no June. Chris and I stand at the bar until 9, then he suggests that we move on. Strangely enough, I feel nothing about being jilted for the first time. I have always imagined that being 'stood up' was an extremely painful experience. We get the bus to the Hare and Hounds where Andy, Linda, Christine and Keith entertain Laura and Martin. They say very little, and it certainly lets you know just who your friends are. Everyone wants to know you when you're having a party, but after that you're nothing.

Christine suggests we go to the Malt Shovel - I go with Keith, who, I must admit, is always civil. Andy brings me home at 10.30, and I see Mama and Dad, Lynn and Sue for the first time since Friday. They all had an excellent time, though no one saw the Queen or anyone whilst in Windsor. Quite disappointing.


"Seasons in the Sun" Ugh

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Saturday April 6, 1974

Wake up at 10.30 to find John missing, Helen in Mama's bed, and Chris in Lynn's small hutch. Helen may be a nice travelling companion, but she makes a terrible breakfast friend - she doesn't realise it but she's extremely rude, and a terrible bore.

Very mad that the Gadsby bunch didn't send me a birthday card or any recognition of the fact that I have celebrated an anniversary of my birth. After all, it was dear Auntie Hilda who ran for several miles on the night of April 5, 1955 to inform Uncle Albert, Grandad and Granny that I had arrived upon this earth. Can you imagine Auntie Hilda running like hell down Stanningley Bottom? I bloody well can't.

At 8 o'clock I go see June at her sister's in Guiseley. We sit until 1.0am watchingt tv and making eyes at each other from opposite sides of the room. Honestly, she knows I'm captivated by her but it makes no difference whatsoever. See the Eurovision Song Contest. Ugh! Then a documenary on 'Count Dracula' - by now we're both hand in hand on the sofa, more of a measure against fear and anything to do with romance. Ring John at 1.15 who is entertaining Chris, Linda, Christina W and Peter in front of the tv. Hurry home. Everyone looks miserable as purity.

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Friday April 5, 1974

My 19th birthday. Up at 7 and Lynn and Sue present me with a polo-necked jumper (a nice cream colour), and Mama gives me £3. When I leave for the YP it's the last time I will see the family until Sunday night. Mum waves me off at the door with a: "take care of yourself", etc. A rather beautiful morning, though birthdays are always disappopinting somehow, and never fail to let me down with a feeling of 'nothingness' if that makes any sense at all. Rush home from the YP and June rings me. The silly female absolutely refuses to come to my party tonight, and no pleading on my part can possibly make her change her mind. I don't particularly feel upset by her refusal, and it is all I expected. Lorraine, her chaperone, rings me twice and says that June must be insane, and that she's been undecided all day about whether to come or not, June I mean. MM, Marita, Denny and David arrive at about 8.30 and they drag me off to the Fox and Hounds, Menston. By about 10.30 I'm totally gone - intoxicated I mean, and we're all back at Pine Tops living it up. I ecventually have ________with Denny and Christine White. Well, it is my birthday! Little Helen Willis arrives at about midnight, and by 2am Chris, Helen and me are the only people left - MM and crowd disappeared early on - after devouring an Easter egg which George's girlfriend had bought John. Pigs they are! -==-

Thursday April 4, 1974

Uncle Peter born 1929. A glorious day. June finally rang me at about 7 o'clock and it's like a dream come true. Evidently, tomorrow will be a romantic night for me after all, and she's actually coming to Pine Tops. However, I very much doubt whether she'll remain until the birthday celebrations are finished..._____.

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Wednesday April 3, 1974

Overcast, but warm day. Nothing of any interest happens at the YP, though Anne seems to have given everyone a cold. Carol went round sneezing all afternoon.

Still no word from June, and I'm now feeling quite desperate. My apetite is nearly non-existant, and for four days I've had a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. At about 5.20 I passed the Bottomley residence on the 33 bus, and saw a pair of June's jeans fluttering in the breeze on Mrs B's little washing line. So, although I've had no word from the darling creature herself, the trousers proved to me, and indeed to everyone who cares to look, that June does actually exist. This is a relief anyway, because for a day or two I have felt that the whole of Saturday evening was a mirage or dream, conjured up by my poor demented brain.

The bus journey made a nice change from the train, which is all very nice, but Judith tends to become slightly overbearing at times.

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Tuesday April 2, 1974

Still no message from June. Oh God! It's so frustrating. My concentration is out altogether and I cannot think of anyone or anything else. She dominates my existence.

Rush home from the YP expecting a call from her, but nothing came. Driving lesson at 6.30 - and we went all over the place - going through a massive amount of petrol. However, I did manage to handle the automobile through Bradford, reaching home safely at 7.30. A boring evening. See tv until the 9 o'clock news starts, but not wishing to extend my misery I leave the room, where I now compile my diary.

You'll have to excuse all the gaps, but I keep taking up my pen, then the urge to commit anything to paper dies before I have time to preserve my thoughts for posterity here in these papges. As I've already attempted to communicate, my mind is on other things at the moment.

Hear at about 10.15 on the tv that President Pompidou of France died tonight. Mother went round for thest of the evening saying: "I told you so", because she's apparently been watching the French President's movements for weeks, and is of the opinion that the foor devil had leukaemia or something. France is in chaos.

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Monday April 1, 1974

The morning began with a beautiful event. Whilst leaving City Station I saw June and Mrs Bottomley entering, and I managed to speak a few words to her. She was on her way to another interview at a college of education. The ethereal beauty of the Bottomley girls is quite breathtaking. June is my whole life - never do I desire to love another woman. However, she did notice that Judith R was with me, and a flicker of semi-jealous curiosity fleetingly crossed her face. I could see that quite clearly. Sadly, she doesn't ring me tonight either and I wonder whether she really wants to see me again. My one chance of hope lies with the girl who accompanied June to the Emmotts on Saturday - she kept urging me to take June's hand saying she really wanted me to take her out again, but dared not make moves in that direction herself. The chaperone thinks that I will not go out with June again because of my dignity! How very mistaken she is indeed.

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Sunday March 31, 1974

Passion Sunday. A beautiful day - the sun shining brilliantly down on a happy earth. Everyone is thrilled that I am 'going out' with June again though John simply smiles with disbelief. Last night brought me out of a misery I have endured since August 24, a hell of 218 days and nights. I never want to be separate from June ever again - we are made for one another, if you can say such a thing without appearing corny, but this is surely the case.

My mind keeps drifting back to last night at the Emmotts - she says she will go with me on Sunday, but I got her to say Saturday, and it seems as though my 19th birthday party will not be graced with her beauty and I'm quite desolate. This afternoon I thought 'Shall I write to her?' but decide that she would not wish it. After all, I wrote many letters from September till Xmas without any reply, though she says she compiled 2 letters then destroyed them. However, we shall see.

The Gadsby clan came over for tea and stayed until the early hours. Uncle Tony seems much improved on last time - no doubt the climate of recent days agrees with his constitution.


'Billy Don't be a Hero' Paper Lace.

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Saturday March 30, 1974

A glorious day - I can now live again. At approximately 10 o'clock I put my hand into the hand of an angel and my soul merged with that of hers. June is mine again, and I love her now more than ever before. I do suppose that I will die loving her. We stood in the cool night in deep embrace, discussing the events of the past 7 hell ridden months. My mind cannot settle and I am in a daze. God knows when I will see her again. She is not on the phone, but one thing is sure, I will never let her go again. My life is now made happy again...She says she will ring me. The waiting for that phone call will kill me I expect.....



(PS Aaarrgghhh!! April 18. 1974)

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