Saturday September 14, 1974

Up at 6.30 with Lynn. Denny and I are thrilled at the prospect of spending a week in Windsor. Leave with suit cases &c, for Bradford at 7.30.

Pleasant morning and it becomes warm and sunny as the day progresses. Leave Bradford for London at 8.15. We stop at Leicester on the way and buy a copy of 'Forum' magazine which deals with all the sexual aspects of life. Some really filthy letters are published herein by perverted readers.

Get coach from London to Windsor passing close to Heathrow where Denny is thrilled at the sight of the 'planes. Arrive at beautiful Windsor at 3 and go immediately to Sheila's with the luggage. Uncle Harry comes shortly later and we discuss details of the weeks schedule over a cup of coffee.

Uncle Harry takes Denny and I for a quick tour round Windsor, taking in the Great Park and Stoke Poges (joke). Back for a sizeable meal and then we all go on to the Bierkeller where Harry and Denny become quite fresh. Really hysterical evening and John was on the receiving end of half a pint of Denny's lager which accidentally slipped through her fingers in the mad crush. When Uncle Harry had absorbed his share he disappeared when it was time for us to go.

Go back to John's where Uncle Harry eventually turns up. We take a few photos with a flash cube and depart to our appointed places of sleep.


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Friday September 13, 1974

Last day at the YP before Windsor. Janice leaves today. Thank the Lord she is gone.

Go to the Hare and Hounds in the evening where we see the photographs of our Grassington weekend which Dave B's had developed so soon. Dave Lawson is also a member of the party and it's the first time I've seen him since last weekend._______.Mum and Dad join us for a drink and we bid farewell to them because when we get in tonight it will be too late to make any farewells of any kind. Dave, Chris, John, Denny, Carol, Phyllis Whitethighs, &c, go to the Tudor Bar at Burley-in-Wharfedale. Good laugh is had by all.

On to Wikis, all except Dave L who refuses to patronise the place, though he promises to come on Friday September 27. Home at 2 after a thrilling evening. I think that John and Carol are going out again, but you know what the "happy family" are like. Far too much of this 'here today, gone tomorrow' attitude. I think John and Carol make an attractive couple.


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Thursday September 12, 1974

Nothing much to report today. The YP was most uneventful. I'm quite tired lately and the Windsor holiday next week will make a very attractive interlude to my miserable hum-drum existence.

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Wednesday September 11, 1974

Janice not at the office today because of morning sickness. Warm, sunny day, though it rains as I leave the YP at 5. Bloody typical. Nothing at all happens at home. Mum and Dad go to the Peacock in Yeadon with Auntie Eleanor and Uncle Jack. Auntie celebrates her birthday today, and she's taking a party to Harry Ramsden's after the pub shuts. No other person is quite like Mrs Jack Myers. Often hysterical, but always amusing, and is a unique member of our large, cumbersome clan. I certainly like her. The Wilsons are a lot better than Papa's filthy mob, who make quite a gruesome bunch. Uncles John and Harry are fantastic but the remainder don't measure up to any of my own standards as decent human beings. _____ is about the worst one, closely followed by _______, who is only related by marriage, but related all the same. See the Marx Brothers film 'Day at the Races' which finishes at 11 o'clock. Still no news of a general election. The Tory manifesto was published today & at Brighton Mr Jeremy Thorpe MP, says he'd agree to a coalition government if the need arises. Don't often stay at home on Wednesday nights, but I've enjoyed it all the same.


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Tuesday September, 10, 1974

Tell Kathleen that I intend going to London on October 19, which is of course Motor Show Saturday. She says I'll have to wait and see because Sarah is on holiday, and Janice won't be with us, etc. Question Sarah about this and she says she'll be back from North Africa on Oct 9 or 10th. Kathleen is alo worried about me being off because of the damned election, which could be any time in Oct. But why the Hell should I care? I still have one day owing me from the last Bank Holiday s I'll go to London whether my visit is sanctioned by the 'Boss' or not. Warm day but don't see much of it. Home at 6.15. Mum is preparing my clothes for next weeks trip to Windsor, though I would like a few extra things before I depart. My hair for one, is far too long for comfort now. Marita would cetainly disagree with me having it cut. Disgusted with the YP for not doing anything on the Prince of Wales and his new helicopter navigation job. He will be the first King of England to have piloted a heliopter. Ring Denny & she says she has booked the coach for Lonon from Bradford at 8.15 Saturday morning. Felt a twit when I rang for I mistook Lorraine for Denny and she also, Lorraine that is, thought I was Michael, her boyfiend. Farcical. See the i9 o'clock news & take phots of the family plus Peter N and Ronnie. Bed at about 11 o'clock.

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Monday September 9, 1974

Go with John to Shipley to keep him company whilst enrolling for a further year at tech. See Peter Mather going into the building. John drives me to Marita's at about 8.30 and we look at the slides from the Appletreewick weekend. Must have copies of them because they're such a laugh. With Marita to the Emmotts where Andy, Peter, Ray, etc, soon follow. Stay till 10.30. Have a good time with Marita_______.Don't like the Emmotts at all & feel no fondness towards it after all the good times I've had therein. Ivy was in her corner but I didn't get chance to have a word. Saw Sandra Lawson and Helen. Ought to have rung David tonight really, but I haven't had time to contact anyone at all. Frosty night when we leave the Emmotts car park and we all grumble about not having had any summer at all this year which is quite depressing. Looking forward to Christmas. Home at 10.30. Put a film in David's camera which he kindly lent me for the duration of next weeks holidays. Have little to eat and bed before 11.30.

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Sunday September 8, 1974

Wake up snug as a bug in a rug at 10.30. A wasp settles in Dave L's hair, and the hilarity caused by Pete spraying Dave's curly mop with fly-killer will be remembered long after the events of the weekend have passed into oblivion.

Hear on the news over toast and marmalade that Harold Wilson is with the Queen at Balmoral no doubt discussing election dates and tactics. October 3 or 10 seems to be the likely choice but nobody knows which one it is other than Harold, Her Majesty and Mrs Wilson (surely he passes on these little secrets to his dear wife?).

Dave L and I go with a camera for a tramp over the moors, taking hurried shots of sheep and large fungi plants feeding off the bark of rotten trees.

Very nice afternoon and the first nice weather we've had all weekend. Dave Lawson is a great chap. I've known him since 1967 and he's never changed one iota since that time - he has physically and mentally of course - but as far as outlook, humour and general appearance - not at all. One thing's for certain. I get on with no one better than Dave, never have done.

Back from the moors at 6.15. Sit cooling feet and sipping hot tea until the end of 'Pick of the Pops' at 7 - when we have a mad half hour with the camera. Back to the pub in Linton. Fruit machines too. Dave L, Dave B, Phyllis Whitethighs and I form a syndicate on the fruit machine and manage to lose £2 between us. All heartbroken. Leave for home at about 10.15.

Back before 11. Mum and Dad are at Pudsey but I wait up for them, eating steak until 12. See the newspapers for the first time since Friday. Fantastic weekend.

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Saturday September 7, 1974

As I've already said, we were attacked by savage wasps whilst listening to the Ed Stewart Show. Fortunately, Chris found some fly killer in the caravan and we managed to keep them off us whilst we got dressed.

Make breakfast much to the disgust of Linda, who wanted an extra 10 minutes in bed with Andy. Chris takes the three of us into Grassington for the afternoon, where the torrential rain lashed down upo us.

Buy several necessities of food, like cocktail cherries, and manadarin oranges. Also buy on impulse, a large feather duster - don't ask me why.

Go into a pub for lunch and meet a bloke who dwells at Rawdon, who was far too familiar with us for comfort - even going so far of offer us beds in his caravan if the weather continues to worsen. Andy labelled him a queer from the start, but I just think he was being slightly over-friendly.

Stagger round the camp-site in a gale force wind, glass of martini in one hand, trying to secure the tent, which unfortunately rips open in a sudden surge of wind. The destroyed tent renders us homeless for the night. Peter offers us all beds in the caravan which we gratefully accept (good of him I'm sure). Back on a pub-crawl again where I fall foul to the lure of fruit machines which Dave Lawson introduced me to. Good evening & then back to the caravan feeling full of cold, no doubt caught off Chris. Everyone in the caravan except Andy, Linda, Ray and Gill. Carol Smith and Christine Whitethighs get drunk and fight like cats in the night.

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Friday September 6, 1974

The begining of the 2 day event in Grassington.

Chris collects us at 7.30 with Dave L, and we all pile into the car with too much lugggage for comfort.

The weather isn't at all too bad, and at 8.30 we are at the caravan, where Andy, Linda, Gill ad Raymond are rather amusing playing cards whilst the beds stand invitingly empty. Go to a local pub, which one I can't remember, but we stay till about 11.15 drinking all the shorts we can think of - playing dominos and clowning around in general.

 Buy a large bottle of Martini Rosso, me and Dave that is, before going back to Denny's makesift tent for a booze-up. Andy, Ray and the girls hog Peter's caravan and ban us from entering, leaving Dave, John, Chris and I to the tent. Settle down to a drunken escapade - not too drunken I might add - sit listening to the radio clad in sleeping bags until 2-ish. Sleep until 5 when we are awakened by a horrific rainstorm lashing the tent - remain comfortable and calm throughout. Laugh with Dave and poor Chris who is almost out of the tent flap.

Sleep till 7.30. Attacked by a swarm of marauding wasps which interrupt our peaceful rest. Hell, I've just realised I'm writing about Saturday morning which should be on the next page. P.T.O.


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Thursday September 5, 1974

Ring John & Sheila in Windsor and they are very enthusiastic about Denny and I going down on September 14. That's our autumn holiday settled anyway, and I can hardly wait to go. Uncle John says that Uncle Harry is also going down on Sept 13, so it should be a very nice cosy, family affair. Ring Denny at 6.30 but Mrs Akroyd says she isn't in & I put down the phone and sit smiling to myself about the fantastic times I've had at the seat of the British Monarchy. Denny rings after 7 and is thrilled at my Windsor news.

Hear that Andy's grandmother died last night and he therefor may not be going to Grassington tomorrow, which is quite understandable.

See the TV till after the 9 o'clock news. An attempt was made last night to remove the Stone of Scone from beneath the Coronation Chair in Westminster Abbey. Had to laugh about it, because when I saw Dad tonight and told him of this he said: "Oh, not again." As though it's something that happens every six months. Mum had exactly the same reaction. The last time we had such an occurrence was on Christmas Day, 1950, when the stone was taken by Scottish Nationalists out of England and deposite in Arbroath Abbey. Mum and Dad have good memories or they have become very ancient.

Ring Chris and Dave L. Dave is at one of his (tropical) fish meetings tonight and Mrs L says he'll ring me later.

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Wednesday September 4, 1974

Nice day at the YP. Weather shocking and what a let down it is for September which is usually very nice. Moving all the dead folk out of the personalities files and move them to a section separate from the rest. Get as far as the 'C' section. Moving files of characters varying from the 1st Earl Baldwin of Bewdley, KG (a right old sod, ho helped to shove poor King Edward VIII from the throne), to Sir Winston Chuchill, who's been glorified far too much since his death. Most Prime Ministers this century have received peerages on retirement. I think the following list is correct:

Herbert Asquith, Earl of Oxford & Asquith
Arthur Balfour, 1st Earl of Balfour
David Lloyd George, 1st Earl Lloyd George of Dwyfor
Stanley Baldwin, 1st Earl Baldwin of Bewdley
Clement Attlee, 1st Earl Attlee
Antony Eden, 1st Earl of Avon

Can't really see Harold Wilson ending his days as the 1st Earl Wilson of Scilly, but let's wait and see.

Go to the Hare and Hounds at 9 after collecting Dave L in the 1100. John did this of course. I a what you can call in no uncertain terms, pedestrian. The crowd at the Hare is very amusing and I fall around laughing at Linda Smith who's arranged all the meals for the camping trip down to the very last detail. After taking Dave home the car breaks down and the clutch and gears sound absolutely terrible. Dave takes us home in the Sunbeam and Dad later goes to Tennyson Street - after returning from the pub -in order to salvage the car. Rains all night.

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