Saturday October 25, 1980

The new album by the Police.

_. Felt very ill. Up at 8:30am. To the shops. Bought paint and wallpaper, and I added a glut of presents, to say sorry for my appalling behaviour. Flowers, Elgar's 'Enigma Variations', including Pomp and Circumstance and 'Nimrod' and all that, plus the new Police album.

Gulped down handfulls of pills to kill the pain in my brain. However, I did manage to undercoat the bathroom and the bedroom. Dark Green and a subtle off white. Oh dear.

At 6:30 we went to Pine Tops for dinner with Mama and Papa. Rabbit. Tired, by the cosy fire, but all the same we dragged ourselves out to join Susie and Pete at the White Cross. On to the Fox & Hounds, then the New Inn. Sue had ale poured all over her at the latter, and so we moved to the Drop. Jean Hanson is fatter, and redder, and back from foreign parts. She looks at me in a different light now that she knows I am related to Constable Rhodes. To Sue & Pete's afterwards, and home at 12. Buggered, not literally.

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Friday October 24, 1980

_. United Nations Day

Dismal, again. Home at 6 to an empty abode. Pete arrived to take me to Lynn and Dave's where Mum and Dad are taking tea. I sent him packing, telling him I'm going to a party.

Phoned Ally and then Dave L.  He agreed, to my great surprise, to accompany me to Grant McKee's party, because I know how Dave is strongly opposed to supping into the early hours and in distant and unfamiliar surroundings. He went to Sherburn-in-Elmet to buy three rabbits  for school and then picked me up at 9. We bought wine and cider and went to the Eagle on North Street. Met Carol J, Pauline, Helen, Penny and Shazzo, and Shazzo's Irish boyfriend. A comical evening. Drank Timothy Taylor's ale, and the 'prawn man' provided the cockles and mussels. The pub closed at 10:30. I have always thought that the pubs in Leeds opened until 11, and was aghast at the ringing bells and flashing lights.

With Grant McKee at Brown's.

On to the party in a rambling terraced house off Cardigan Road. Gallons of wine and ears filled with the Rolling Stones, in the midst of many strange faces. It was touching to see the way that the YP contingent of revellers all huddled together near the fireplace. Penny Wark, Helen Scott, Carol J, Tony Harney, &c. Dave thoroughly enjoyed himself. He joked with Shazzo about her drinking vintage German wines. [She's Jewish, you know]. By 2 I was sozzled and Dave must have persuaded me to leave. We found ourselves in Bradford, where I banged furiously on Ally's door and then spewed up. She tried to undress me, but failed miserably. I fell asleep on the top of the bed.

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Thursday October 23, 1980

_. Cold, wet, &c. YP dull. Kathleen is off with Legionaire's Disease.

Cleese: Petruchio.

Ally came at 7:30 and we sat in deckchairs in the dining room watching John Cleese play Petruchio in The Taming of the Shrew. I fully expected a 16th century version of Basil Fawlty but was presently surprised. We had thought of going to 'Time and Place' but at 10:30 we were too comfortable and couldn't be bothered uprooting ourselves. We joined Mum and Dad with Jim and Margaret, and retired at about 11, or was it 12?

Margaret told us, in quiet tones, that Pamela's boyfriend is a divorcee with three sons. She sounded embarrassed at having to mention it.

Ally is gorgeous, you know. I fear she has to stand a good deal of nonsense and bother from me because basically she is serious and sensible. It must be trying for her. When will it be wedding bells do you think? It's only a matter of time because we have reached the point where marriage is the obvious next step to take. Yes, we are at the abyss. The great crossroads are ahead, with a long road beyond, and a dual carriageway at that.

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Wednesday October 22, 1980

_. Dark, damp, misty. Up at 7:10 with Dad. He went off to Otley to guard prisoners who would otherwise be left to their own devices owing to a prison officers 'go slow'.

To Leeds with Jim who, for two days now, has been relating the tale of 'Les Miserables' to little Jennie.

Aghast at the news that Lord Thomson of Fleet is selling The Times newspaper next year. This must be a death warrant for this fine newspaper. I am grief stricken. Before long we'll have nothing but 'The Sun'.

Sarah is miserable these days. ____________. Chippy saw her in the Shoulder last Thursday. _____.

Home at 6. Mama and I had dinner by candlelight, and Dad, the jailer, joined us just as we finished. Later, sat clutching Clementine Churchill, I was brought from my stupor by sweet Ally on the blower informing me that she needed to see me immediately. She arrived at 7:45 and out we went to the New Inn at 9:30. Our departure was delayed due to Prokoviev on the telly, with the added attraction of Princess Michael of Kent, who was briefly in view. George Howard, of the BBC, resembles a paraplegic toad.

To the New Inn at 9:30 with £2.60 in my pocket, but this went within half an hour. I was reduced to drinking half pints. Ally was treated [sic] to a packet of roast oxen crisps.

Home at 10:30 to see John Cleese interviewed by Michael Parkinson. He is playing Petruchio tomorrow and I cannot help feeling this might be a mistake. Will it be a 16th century Fawlty Towers?

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Tuesday October 21, 1980

Clementine Churchill.

_. Went to the Central library and fell victim to another book on the Windsors. I also got Mary Soames's biography of her mother Clem, and Thomas Hardy's 'The Trumpet Major'. It's about time I looked at some great works of 19th century fiction because in this area I am greatly ignorant. Dickens has been unable to worm his way in and as for Trollope I once picked up a Palliser novel and put it down again immediately.

I phoned Ally a couple of times. She refused to answer at 8 and I eventually gave the thing up as a bad job. We have decided to go to 'Time and Place' on Thursday.

Eileen and Michael brought baby Philip into the YP today. The usual blue-eyed bundle.

Dave G phoned tonight to discuss the '81 holiday. Ought we to be booking? I broke into a cold sweat at the thought of it. Ally will die when I say it's time to think about holidays. I expect fireworks of George Frederick Handel proportions. Dave didn't see the Duchess of Gloucester yesterday on her visit to Stepping Hill.

Sat reading about Clementine Churchill. I've said odious things about her in the past especially when she died and it was revealed she destroyed the Graham Sutherland portrait of Sir Winston, and I will not withdraw any comments until I finish the book. However, up to 1908 she seems quite a decent fellow.

Mum frightened me by announcing that Wedgwood Benn is to run [for Labour leader]. This isn't so. Cold sweat trickled down my brow.

Took a bath at 11. Bed with Clem at 11:15.

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Monday October 20, 1980

_. Damp and misty. Cowered beneath my sheets until after 7:30. To Leeds with Jim, Jennie and Donald Best. A raving little quartet. Gloomy day. Spoke to Ally who moaned about lack of money for her proposed decorating onslaught. It seems that her walls are to be bare indefinitely. It'll be like the Chateau d'If in Lidget Green. I posted a letter on similar lines to my diminutive lover.

Lady Barnett: suicide.

Lady [Isobel] Barnett, an ancient TV personality, fined for shoplifting on Thursday, has been found dead in her bath after committing suicide. It is a pity that people feel they have no option but to die after being found with 87p worth of stolen groceries concealed upon their person. Guilt is such a peculiar thing.

In other news: the Queen has been left a Louis XIV clock in the will of Sir Michael Duff. The half-crazed Michael Foot has joined the Labour leadership battle. He now stands against Peter Shore, John Silkin and Denis Healey. The old boy will be 70 before the next general election, but I believe he will become leader of the party despite this drawback. I'll eat my hat if Denis Healey beats him, I really will.

Home at 5:30. Mum's hair is better. She looks younger with it shaggy. Roast pork and Yorkshire pudding. Had a hot bath, and unlike Isobel Barnett I survived. At 9 I took to the dining room and watched 'Les Miserables', a recent film based on Victor Hugo's gripping novel. I have rarely used my new TV because I feel anti-social leaving Mum and Dad and sitting in another room. However, tonight I could not face the Monday evening 'movie' of the nymphomania and alcoholism problems facing a New York housewife.

Lynn phoned. She;s convinced her baby will come before April 4. A friend due to give birth on the same day is much smaller.

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Sunday October 19, 1980

_. 20th Sunday after Trinity

Up at 10:30. Made lashings of tea for the inmates. Ally dashed off in Andre Citroen to the Belfry. [We have changed the car's name to Andre from Charles, because the founder of the Citroen Car Co was Andre Citroen]. Breakfast with Mama and Papa. They talked about Norfolk. My mother's hairdresser really should be assassinated. Someone should phone Jack Ruby. Is he deceased?

Mum and Dad messed around in the kitchen with a sack of Arthur's cauliflowers. I sat grinning to myself. Last night Ally and I had an attack of giggling, really serious giggling. _______. She came at 3:15 and we watched Peter Sellers in 'Only Two Can Play' - a very funny film. She went back to the Belfry at 6:30.

Queen: Dowdy.

Her Majesty the Queen , on a State visit to Italy, has met the Pope. She visited the Papal See as Princess Elizabeth in 1951 meeting Pope Pius, and visited Pope John XXIII in 1961, but that wasn't a state visit. Dowdy, wearing a black mantilla, she resembled Queen Victoria.

Saturday October 18, 1980

Oliver Twist.

_. Sunny, bright, but cold. Up at 10 for another large, grilled breakfast. Pine Tops is taking on the aura of Marlborough House in the days of Albert Edward, Prince of Wales.

Afterwards we went to Yeadon to buy more bacon and orange juice. Back to the liquid delights of the New Inn. A pleasant few hours propping up the bar. Saw Tony Briggs and Peter Phillips. At 3 we returned home to find Sue and Pete drinking beer and watching John Howard Davies in 'Tom Brown's Schooldays'. They left shortly afterwards. Ally and I made an omelette, and watched 'Oliver Twist', also starring John Howard Davies. Some old films are such tear jerkers.

We clowned around in my wardrobe looking for something for Ally to wear, and at 7:45 we went to the Malt Shovel in Menston. Margaret Nason's sister, Phyllis, works behind the bar. On to the Shoulder to meet Gus, Dave W, Mick Thingy, Debbie, Chippy. No sign of Sue and Pete. At 9:30, at Chippy's suggestion, we all went to Platform One, a newly opened hostelry, on the site of an old railway station at Pannal. Too crowded. I put my pint down on a table to have it swiped by the landlord when I was relieving myself in the gents. Not a very pleasant experience. Back to the New Inn in Guiseley for 10:30. Marian and Maura were there with Rick Hartley. I invited them to the party on Nov 1. Also saw Martyn & Fay Cole.  Home at 11:30.

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Friday October 17, 1980

_. Wet, dark and dismal. Up at 6:30 and cooked a massive breakfast for Ally and I. You know, bacon, eggs, sausages and beans, preceded by cornflakes, and followed by lashings of hot tea. Dave Lee Travis on Radio One. He is appalling. I am growing old and conservative [with a small 'c' of course. Everyone knows I am a Conservative with a big 'c'].

At the office I phoned Ally a few times. Catherine has found another job. Poor girl. Ally phoned me twice, once at 3, and again at 6:30. In the latter call she asked me to think of something to get her off working at the Belfry. How about a broken neck?

Phoned Dave L twice. The first time he was out. He is going to Gloucester tomorrow to stay with a Tony. In the political section of our chat he declared that Peter Shore is a worthless drip who doesn't stand a cat in Hell's chance of leading the Opposition. Denis Healey is such an obvious choice I have every faith he will be defeated. Personally I'd like to see the former broadcaster Austin Mitchell at the helm.

Sue and Pete.

Spoke to Susie [I also spoke to her yesterday. She was going to the White Cross with Janet and Audrey]. She and Pete agreed to collect me at 8:45 and befriend me for a couple of hours in a local hostelry. I sat waiting, quite alone, listening to Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries' to keep me company. They picked me up at 9 and we went to the Shoulder of Mutton. Joined by Gerald and Deborah. On to the Cross and met Chris and Audrey Rycroft. Finally to the New Inn, where we found Gus, Dave W and Ken. Home at 11:30. Ally arrived at midnight.

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Thursday October 16, 1980

_. I spoke to Dave G the other day, and forgot to mention. He's coming on Nov 1, with Garry, Billy and Steve. He had hoped to come tomorrow but the Duchess of Gloucester is making a visit to Stepping Hill Hospital and he has to be there to receive HRH. Poor woman.

Ally came here at 6:30 for fish fingers and three tons of potatoes. What will become of us? Ally looked good, with her hair sticking out in all directions. Half close your eyes, dim and lights and what do you have? Kate Bush.

An expanding Lynn and bad-tempered Dave came at 8:30 and we went to the Commercial, which is a hole. So boring. We sat eavesdropping on three middle-aged mothers on the next table discussing the trials and tribulations of Christmas shopping. On to the New Inn, where Lynn and Dave looked out of place. David insisted on referring to the place as a 'knocking shop'. The place is always full of ex-cons, but a Bohemian atmosphere prevailed throughout.

Home at 11. We sprawled on the dining room floor drinking wine and listening to Strauss until 2:30.

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Wednesday October 15, 1980

Sally Oppenheim: double life?

_. Sunny, Wednesday. James Callaghan is resigning as Labour leader to enable him to undergo treatment preparing for a sex-change operation after Christmas. It seems that for some years he's been enjoying a double life masquerading as both the bluff Left-wing Labour sea dog, and as the peroxide blond Sally Oppenheim, Minister for Prices and Consumer Affairs. You have never seen them in the same room together. He really had me fooled.

Ally arrived at 6 and we ate soup. [Or do you drink soup?] This was followed by fried liver and onions and mounds of chips. To much really. Spoke to Lynn, and arranged to go out with them tomorrow.

Later, the two of us took the couch for an evening of gripping TV. Coronation Street, a play, and a programme about a large, flaccid transsexual preparing for a sex-change operation. I made some derogatory comments, at which Ally raised her eyebrows and cast her eyes to the large pair of stiletto heeled shoes that I'd worn only days before. My drag act at a fancy dress dress party is a different matter.

To bed in the region of 12.

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