Another beautiful day. Sarah comes into town with me at lunchtime and I drag her around several banks and a Post Office - on Barclaycard business. After paying up this month's installment we walk leisurely back to the YP.
Sarah really is a lovely bird but somehow I never quite feel at ease with her. I'd have asked out years ago if only I'd been blessed with the right amount of courage and 'get up and go' spirit. She will be 23 in November, but I don't suppose that matters much. After all, I am 20. Anyway, what is the use in me getting on like this? Grief, I take a gorgous bird out for a lunchtime drink and I come home with ideas of starting a permanent union! Oh, I forgot to mention that when I said we'd gone round Leeds. At 1.40 we called in for a quick one before resuming our duties in the dismal structure of Yorkshire Post Newspapers Ltd. I'm still in love with CB anyway and I don't care if you think I'm a crazy, mixed up youth who happens to fall in love with everything in eye make-up, because I would never feel like I do about Sarah if Christine hadn't resumed her relations with 'Lord Baden-Powell'.
Christine rang at 4.15 and said she'd be in the Hare tonight and went on to say that she'd be 'lost and all alone' at the weekend when I am away. Every time I mention Gary she laughed as though something was in the air, but refused to tell me any more. Anyway fans, hang about until midnight when I'll complete the chronicles of today's events.
.... Later: You'll be hanging around for a long time if you expect any more tonight.
Hot day. At lunchtime I have a few photographs taken for my ten year passport. They look really grotty, but not all that bad when you think it costs about £2 to be photographed by a cravat-wearing Old Etonian with a lisp and double-barrelled name for something very similar, but probably a bit more glossy. Don't take this as an insult to Lord Snowdon please, because nothing was further from my mind. OK, he may be an Old Etonian with a camera, but he doesn't lisp, and hasn't worn a cravat in donkey's years.
At 4.30 armed with a bottle of Lucozade I marched on Leeds Infirmary and threw myself upon my ailing aunt, the one and only Mabel Paine. I didn't recognise her at first because she seems to have lost a good deal of weight since we last met, but otherwise she was very cheerful. The thought of having cancer worried her to death (Oops) of course, but they've assured her now that it's all clear. No more treatment required, and by Sunday she'll be a free woman again. I really despise hospitals. The smells and the general lay-out make me weak at the knees. It was so nice to get out into the fresh air at about 6 o'clock - away from the stench of death and illness. I only hope to God that I'll never have to spend any length of time in such a place. Mind you, by the time I'm 60 they'll have done away with hospitals and they'll be injecting OAPs with cyanide. The nice, easy way out.
See 'Edward VII' at 9 o'clock, and retire at 11.
Oh well, what can I write about today?____It happens to have been an ordinary Monday.
Work was busy. Sarah looked stunning, but I can't fill three quarters of a page with those small details. After all, I'm no Shakespeare or Oscar Wilde. Especially no OscarWilde. I don't want to go down in history labelled a 'Brown Hatter' or a Lord Alfred Douglas, or 'Pansy'.
What's in the news then? His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales is growing a beard. The Daily Mail says he's following in the tradition of King Edward VII and his grandfather, George V. But King George V is not the grandfather of the Prince of Wales. George V, as you well know, was grandfather of the Queen, and subsequently the great-grandfather of the bearded heir.
Whit Sunday. Another scorcher. Up at 12 and do nothing before luch, which is always the case on Sundays. After roast beef and Yorkshire Pudding I nip down Tranmere to see Gillian - the femme fatale of Guiseley. Mrs Upton is a _______.Not forgetting the Jodpurs (can't spell this) and car wash leather. Gillian yells the usual abuse at her mother before coming back to Pine Tops to recline in a deckchair on the lawn with ice-cream and Mum, Dad and Lynn and eventually Dave. A really hot afternoon and would have been tranquil but for the fact that JR was screaming her ruddy, little head off two doors away. And when I say screaming, I really mean SCREAMING.
Gillian goes at 5 after laughing with Lynn about shorthand.
Dave comes at 5.30 and we have a laugh by having tea in the car. Why did we do that you are all asking? Well, the radio batteries are flat and the car radio is the only thing working at the moment, and so it came to pass that crumpets and ham sandwiches were had in the front seat of Papa's Cortina.
Lynn and Dave join us at the Hare, and we move on to the Black Bull, in Otley where I partake in a few too many Skol Special Strengths. Ray and his mate John joined us and Sunday night proved riotous for a change.