Thursday September 20, 1979

_. Ally came over just after 7pm on the spur, or whatever it is you say when somebody is unexpected. We watched 'Top of the Pops' with Maria. Punk Rock is so boring.

Went at 8:3o to Lynn's. We sat until 10:30 drinking Cinzano and 'Clan Dew', and when this oasis of alcohol evaporated at 10 we went over to the Red Lion for a 'quick one'. I spent nearly £5 in half an hour. The girls were drinking doubles, as usual. I gave Dave the £10 that I borrowed for the holiday.

We went back to Lawn Road for Italian food and sat until after 1am.

-=-

Saturday August 18, 1979

_. I sat sticking photos in my album this morning thinking on my past adventures with my former constant companion, Christine Braithwaite. She married sometime today at Guiseley Register office [or so I've been led to believe]. I did not go down and 'peep' because she wanted a very quiet, no fuss ceremony, and I respect her wishes. I wish her a long, lusty and brilliant life with Frank and only hope she never regrets todays all important ritual. I intend to write some gesture of goodwill to the happy couple.

At about 12 Ally's parents came over, and after a while we went on to Lynn & David's so they can inspect Lawn Road. Lynn looks very well and cheerful. The Dixons left at 1 and we all went to the White Cross. Sue and Peter are there with Chippy outside, but we went in a stood at the bar, because Lynn and Chippy insist on engaging in battle every time their paths cross.

This evening to the Rose & Crown at Ilkley with Lynn, Dave B, Sue, Pete, and Ally. Mum and Dad went to Pudsey and at 9:30 we were joined by Jill and Tim. At closing time armed with a six pint can of ale and bottle of Martini we went to Lawn Rd and spent four or five hours looking at the Baker photo collection. At 1:30 we ran out of booze and so Tim and I bombed over the moor to Pine Tops and pinched bottles of lager and a couple of bottles of wine. The whole journey took about five minutes and at times the wheels of his ancient van left the road. Back at Lawn Rd we sang Christmas Carols on the doorstep until we were admitted. We partied until 4am, when Jill and Tim left because he is working all day Sunday.

-=-

Saturday January 13, 1979

Dave (Glynn) and I had breakfast with Sue. Poor Mum is in bed with an upset stomach & so she didn't surface all day. Pale and ghastly.

Dave and I had a little pub crawl in Guiseley. We had one at the Yorkshire Rose where an OAP told us that his Jack Russell terrier is pregnant. A tart in the bar referred to the landlord as "you big fat twat". Yes, a nice, tasteful atmosphere prevailed. We made our way to the incredibly dull Regent and finally, at 2:45pm, onto the Station Hotel.

Snow and ice underfoot was something of a hazard to begin with but the more we drank the more confident we became negotiating the glassy footpaths like John Currie and Robin Cousins.{I suspect both these gents are close friends of Jeremy Thorpe, MP}.

Tonight: to Burley~in~Wharfedale with Dave, Sue & Pete to see Lynn and Dave B. The Bakers both looked as fit as butcher's dogs - especially Lynn who is pink and 'radiating'. We all piled into the Red Lion following a pantomime on ice in the car park there. Boozed solidly until 11 o'clock and then took fish & chips back to Lawn Road . We laughed at the fact that for the purposes of the kitty Dave and I were classed as a 'couple'.

We drank until about 1:30am & then Susie and Pete staggered off to the spare bedroom for a further instalment of the wildest pre~marital experience since Anthony & Cleopatra.

Dave B collapsed onto the sofa and didn't bat an eyelid until after 3 leaving Dave G, Lynn and I singing along to Nat King Cole's greatest hits. Dave B makes a regular habit of slipping into a convenient coma at every available opportunity. He hops off to bed or collapses into a medium sized heap on the carpet. Good old Dave. He thrust a £10 note into my hot, grasping hand when I said I wanted to buy a pair of shoes on Monday. (I shall, of course, let him have it back next week). But isn't it marvellous of him to 'see me right'? A real brother is David Baker, a real brother.

Lynn finally carried her husband off to bed and Dave G and I slept in the lounge (or sitting room depending on how posh you happen to be). It was 3:30am, I think.

-=-

Sunday December 24, 1978

4th Sunday in Advent.

Christmas Eve. Lynn's first Christmas party (at Lawn Rd) tonight. I am ill and taking a Yuletide recess.

We watched a film show (provided by Marlene and Frank) of Lynn and Dave's wedding. Auntie Mabel wiped her spectacles a few times and people shuffled in their seats.

Santa Claus came at 10. Auntie Mabel exclaimed: "Oh, what a sexy old Santa!" It wasn't the real Santa at all, it was David Greenwood __________________________.

-=-

Friday December 1, 1978

Still foggy and damp.

I phoned Michelle at the travel agents to enquire about apartments in Ibiza for next July or August. She said bookings are going well and many thousands are clamouring for foreign holidays after the disastrous summer at home. She will come back to me tomorrow or Monday. She has such a wonderful, sexy voice.

I did not go out on the razzle this evening. I met David B at 5:30 at Jacomelli's and we drove to Yeadon to collect Lynn at Morrison's. Back to Burley for din~dins and then Dave and I, clad in overalls, slapped gloss paint all over the downstairs living quarters. This was a historic event, because by midnight we had daubed our last splattering of paint on 7, Lawn Road, for some considerable time.

We had a few glasses of sherry to celebrate and watched a western on the microscopic TV and retired to bed at about 2. The house was icy cold, but Lynn had warmed my bed with a hot water bottle.

-=-

Sunday November 5, 1978

24th after Trinity

8th Sunday before Christmas

Hullo Guy Fawkes, wherever you are. Up at 10:30 for gallons of toast and piles of hot, buttered tea (sic). A sunny, bright, autumn day. Jacq and I stayed at Lawn Road throughout and had a pleasant time with Lynn & Dave.

Lynn dragged us round Burley for half an hour before giving us a massive luncheon. My job for the entire day was to stoke the fire and keep it blazing. Either Lynn's made a close friend of Arthur Scargill or they've found a rich coal seam beneath the house.

Watched a Fred Astaire film which included scenes from the 1947 Royal wedding at the end. Sarah Churchill, Winston's daughter, had a part in the film too. She certainly resembles old Clem. It was all quite nauseating.

Jacq and Lynn seem to have hit it off marvellously. Jacq sees a good deal of me in Lynn and vice versa.

Later we watched Lillie Langtry ~ no comment. Home in fog at 10 o'clock.

Mum and Dad had just returned from Auntie Mabel's. Mama looked really nice in a new green dress with the handbag and shoes bought for the wedding. She was laughing over the Sunday Express article about the Prince of Wales escorting Princess NORA of Liechtenstein.

-=-

Saturday November 4, 1978

Sun rises 06:59 Sun sets 16:29

Up at 9:30 and after breakfast went to Lawn Road with Mum & Dad. Lynn was at the hairdressers and Dave, Dad and I made some structural alterations to the residence whilst Mama got a blazing fire going. Dad and Dave did some work putting the kitchen door into position and I painted everything in sight.

Lynn came in like a Goddess at 12 and immediately dragged Mum off into Burley. They staggered back a couple of hours later quite sozzled. They informed us that they'd met a man called Gordon, suffering from Parkinson's Disease, who would be dropping in on us later with a selection of bottles of his home~brewed cider. A likely story.

Jacq came at 2:30 and we had a good lunch. I'm surprised the ladies managed to cook it. Javq was wearing a new pink creation.

At 4 Mum and Dad left and we sat listening to music. Lynn was pissed and really in her element. At 6:30 we, the four of us, got a bus to Guiseley with every intention of attending John Little's bonfire at Green Bottom School, but on arriving we were told the entry fee was £1.75 per family. Lynn told the bemused man on the desk that we are not actually a family, but that we do all love one another.

We walked through the Bonfire night smoke and smog, and baked potato fumes to the White Swan at Yeadon. Lynn and Dave had come out without any cash and felt guilty about being parasites on their elder brother and benefactor. We had a few drinks and inspected the bonfire there. What has become of Bonfire Night? Am I getting old so that I don't see or observe the things that children delight in any more? I hope not. The days of the one penny (old money) banger are gone forever.

At 10 we went for a bus back to Burley and waiting at the bus stop for an hour. It was like a scene from a Greek tragedy and to be honest it made the whole evening. Lynn carrying on like Sarah Bernhardt. We laughed and joked ridiculously to the extent that the traffic was swerving to avoid us. Elderly ladies were peeping at us from bedroom windows.

A bus came at 11 and we headed back to Burley. Bit of an anti-climax really. Sandwiches, coffee and a 1943 John Mills film isn't exactly what I call a proper Saturday night. I suppose it cannot be a riot every week.

Lynn and Dave went off to bed before John Mills, in his submarine, had the time to sink the Brandenberg, and I fell asleep. Jacq and I 'kipped' on the sitting room floor with our heads pointing towards the dying fire embers. _______.

-=-

Wednesday November 1, 1978

All Saints

Sarah and I went to the Red Lion in Burley this evening and then on to Lynn and Dave's where we watched tv ~ Lesley Anne Down's portrayal of Phyllis Dixey, the stripper.

Sarah wasn't feeling too well and was very pale and tired. I sampled 'Arctic Lite' lager ~ not for me. Too dry. Dave and I dashed back over to the Red Lion at 9:30 to get a few more bottles and I paid for the lot. I am really enjoying my new~found wealth.

David seems to like Sarah. _______________________.

Sarah and I got the 11:30 bus. Squabbled with Motherdear about something ~ I've forgotten what. Retired to bed.

Jacq and I have got seats in the stand on Nov 11 for the Lord Mayor of London's parade at the Mansion House in London. The old boy, Sir Kenneth Cork, is an old mate of Derek Sate's, I think. __________.

-=-

Sunday October 15, 1978

21st after Trinity

Woke up at about 11 ~ on the floor at Lawn Road. Had breakfast and watched the deluge outside from the window. Pissed it down. Dave slung a few records on his stereo and that that set the tone for the day. We almost froze to death too, until they lit the fire at about noon. I don't think they can afford the coal.

At 12:30 we ventured over in the rain to the Red Lion. The landlord their is probably the most miserable pub proprietor in Britain. Rude just isn't the word.

Lynn excelled herself at lunch. Pizzas, roast potatoes, peas, &c. She was beaming all day. She loves seeing us all. She told us she's been really homesick and close to tears at night time. Bless her.

In the afternoon I slept in an armchair. John, Maria and JPH came at 5:30. My nephew walked around the house with his arms clasped behind his back. He loved the journey home in the dark pointing at the 'man in the Moon'. I can already detect a Scottish accent. I must be imagining things.

At home watched 'Lillie Langtry'. It's too slow. Bed at midnight.

-=-

Saturday October 14, 1978

Sun rises 07:22 Sun sets 18:10

Up at 7 o'clock and to work. Yes my first Saturday at the YP for about 4 years. Jacq and I had black coffee and toast. Got a bus at 8. In Leeds before 9. Not too busy at the YP but I had about ten phone calls on the subject of the steam train the 'Sir Nigel Gresley', which is taking hundreds of boring people on a jaunt round Yorkshire today. Why can't these bloody people just stay at home and watch 'Grandstand' or perhaps go down to their local and get thoroughly pissed instead of pestering poor, under~paid library workers?

The Times says Cardinal (Basil) Hume stands a very good chance of being elected Pope at tomorrow's conclave. It would be so great to have an Englishman at the helm in the Vatican, but I can't see them electing anyone but an Italian until at least the next century.

At 1:30 I met Jacq and we walked around town and had a few drinks in the Ostlers. Shouldn't take booze on an afternoon really.

At tea time John, Maria and JPH arrived. Scotland is clearly doing them some good.

Tonight Jacq, Sue, Pete, Mum, Dad, John, Maria, Lynn & Dave, and I went to the White Horse at Burley~in~Wharfedale to see Mum's cousin Dorothy, the landlady, who tells us she's leaving in June next year, if not before. Mum and Dad went off to meet Jim & Margaret at the Riversdale, and we had a crawl, going to the Queen's Arms and Malt Shovel. Afterwards we all had fish and chips at Lynn & Dave's. Our first all night session at Lawn Road. Jacq and I slept on the lounge floor.

-=-

Wednesday September 27, 1978

David the brother~in~law collected Jacq and I in Leeds at 5:30 and took us to Burley~in~Wharfedale. Lynn poured sherry down us and we sat by the fireside. Susan and Pete arrived at 7:30. Dave went out for fish & chips and we had a collection and bought another 'pop bottle' full of sherry from the proprietor of the off~licence store at the end of Lawn Road (is she Mrs Beasley?). Lynn, clutching an empty pop bottle, is making far too many calls on this lady.

We sat until 10:30. I took Jacq to a bus stop and deposited her on a 733 to Leeds and then went back to say goodbye to Lynn. They are unbelievably short of money. It's refreshing to find someone else in financial ruin and destitution. They look so happy though.

-=-

Sunday September 3, 1978

15th after Trinity

At 12 we went to the Commercial for the traditional 'wet' Sunday luncheon with beef sandwiches too. Back at home we played records, looked at photos and had a constitutional around Greenfield Avenue. Sue and Pete were at home but in their usual state of heavenly, solitary transit rendering them boring and dull conversationalists, except with each other.

Mum, Dad, Lynn and David went to Lawn Road laying carpets, hanging pictures and generally domesticating the interior ready for residence. She (Lynn) sat here later puffing on a cigar.

The Second World War began 39 years ago today. It was a Sunday too. Tonight on BBC1 a new series entitled 'Holocaust' began. It depicts the Nazi genocide of the millions of innocent Jews of Europe. Compulsive viewing. We all watched in silence as the ghastly crimes unfolded.

Bed with Lady Chatterley (still) at 12:30am.

-=-

Tuesday August 22, 1978

Sunny and pleasant. Uncle Jack (Myers) was laid to rest this morning. Hilda, Mabel and Peter represented the entire Wilson Alliance.

Sarah was in great shape today. The doctor listened to her heart yesterday and told her she's suffering from neuralgia. Blimey, I thought you could only get that in your bloody face! This afternoon she actually told me that she fancied me ~ in those exact words. It came when I asked her why she always insists on grabbing hold of me. She replied: "Because I fancy you. That's why". Really funny it was. I don't think she's made such a statement in all the years of our association.

Christine phoned. Her Canadian professional ice~hockey playmate earns £100,000 a year, she says. Good God!

News: President Kenyatta died today in Mombassa. He was a bloody Mau Mau terrorist _______.

Down to Lawn Road with just Daddy to daub buttermilk paint everywhere until the tin ran dry. Home at 10:20. Went for a bath at 12:03.

Auntie Mabel had phoned Mama with a report on the funeral. __________________.

-=-

Wednesday August 16, 1978

Dave had kipped down on my bedroom floor and so he took me into Leeds with him at 8:30 this morning. He looked very pale after last night's booze. He told me he's sick to death of Thomson, Spencer & Partners, and is completely at a loose end. Poor sod ~ he does get very low at times. He even said, as we sped along, how he can understand why people take to drugs.

Sarah wasn't in a much better mood today. ___________. She could have me any time she wished, but she never really knows just who or what she really wants.

Tonight Dad, Jim and I continued the renovation of 7 Lawn Road. It is very good of Jim to lend his services. He kept asking for jobs to do and I was ordering him about. Jim looks and acts like an old retainer. The sight of him doffing his cap to a passing squire wouldn't be out of place at all. He also resembles King Henry VIII's ill~fated chancellor, Thomas Cromwell. A nice guy though.

At 10:30 Dad and I went to the fish and chip shop and bought a large selection of fried foods for the unsuspecting people at home.

Laurence Olivier and Felix Aylmer are on TV in a 1943 drama. A good piece of British war~time propaganda. To bed too tired even for Lady Chatterley's demands upon me.

-=-

Monday August 14, 1978

To Otley Hospital with Dad at 9:30 where a nurse removed my stitches. The doctor, however, was far from satisfied, and he gave me a prescription and told me to return on Thursday. I left at 10 with my buttocks encased in a revolting anti-septic bandage which resembled a nappy. I felt like a two-year old.

Mum phoned at 12 to say that Uncle Jack (Myers) died at 1am today. Very sad. He has been suffering so much. ___________. Cousin Jackie visited Auntie Mabel this morning, who was asked by Auntie Eleanor to inform everyone else in the family.

Tonight I went to Lawn Road to scrape old pain from the staircase. A gruesome task indeed. We were joined by George Waite for half an hour or so. He has shaved off his beard and had his hair permed - like mine. Angus King, the YP medical correspondent, has been quizzing me about my hairstyle. I believe I have started a trend at the YP which will take on the proportions of the one caused by the skateboard craze.

Home at 10. After eating salad sandwiches I had a hot bath and re-dressed my gaping wound. It looks really revolting. We are all subdued about Uncle Jack. I do feel for poor Stephen (Myers) who is only 12 or 13 years old. To bed at 12:54am.

-=-

Saturday August 12, 1978

Sun rises 05:41 Sun sets 20:30

I had a bit of a rough night and didn't get much sleep before about 4am. Sneezing, wheezing, coughing and gasping all night long. A few tablets and cups of 'Lem Sip' eased things a little and I finally nodded off. Up with the larks at 9:30 feeling much better.

At about 11:30 Dad, Sue, Pete, John and I went to Leeds and met Dave B, Richard & Chris B, and Mr & Mrs Henry Baker, and Mandy B outside Young's dress hire where we were fixed up with morning suits for the wedding. ___________________.

Home at 1:30. John took some lunch with us. Just like old times in fact. John really was on top form today and had me rolling about in hysterics in Young's.

Afterwards I went with Lynn and Dave to Lawn Road and finished daubing emulsion on the bathroom walls. Dave was near to collapse and at one point he was to be found in a medium sized heap upon a roll of carpet in a bedroom. We returned home for dinner at 6 o'clock.

Jacq's been to Scarborough today with 'the crowd' from the Y.W.C.A. She phoned at 7:30. Sue, Pete and I met her in Guiseley and we had a quick drink at the Station Hotel. They both drank Tequila! On to the Crown (Yeadon) which was dead, and then to the Westbourne at Otley where John and Maria were supposed to be supping. They never materialised. The pub is revolting and rough. Karen Cole was there. Making a quick exit we ventured to the Clothiers, which was also thoroughly miserable. I just failed to enjoy tonight. We all came back to Pine Tops to watch a late night film. ________.

-=-

Sunday August 6, 1978

11th after Trinity

Got out of bed at 10:30 feeling quite fit and unaffected by my traumatic experience. I phoned David L to apologise for leaving half my blood in his abode and he says it looks like a massacre has taken place on Tennyson Street. He laughed a good deal.

My chief problem is sitting down. Armchairs are impossible. I remedy this by laying flat on the floor. Mum and Dad think my predicament is hilarious. Mum inspected the stitches. Dad, Lynn and Dave went to Lawn Road leaving Sue, Mum, Jacq and "Scar Arse" to prepare dinner. Susan was alone and Peter made no appearance. ______________.

On the news we hear that the Pope died tonight. Princess Michael of Kent must have been secretly over to Rome and slipped some John West salmon into the Vatican kitchen.

-=-

Saturday August 5, 1978

Sun rises 05:30 Sun sets 20:43

First Day of Ramadan {tabular}

A full day at Burley painting the bathroom. It now resembles a peppermint cream because it's chocolate and lime. Dad and Dave put up beams in the lounge and Henry Baker fixed the sink, &c.

Home at 6:30 and an hour later, clad in white trousers, Philippe Junot~styled sandals, I was waiting at the Station Hotel for Jacq. She arrived ~ a vision of loveliness ~at 7:45 and we messed around for half an hour waiting for a bus to take us to the Fox & Hounds. From the start of the evening we were 'dogged' by accidents of one kind or another. On the way to meet Jacq I was seriously 'pawed' by an Alsatian dog who muddied my trousers. On our arrival at the Fox Jacq went to the ladies (toilet) taking with her my camera and flash cubes in her handbag and when she emerged minutes later she was screaming with laughter and bearing in her hands a conglomeration of wet photographic equipment ~ Yes, it had all accidentally fallen down the bog! Luckily all seemed to be working after we had shaken off the water.

Jacq and I were drinking Stella Artois and we became quite merry. David L joined us and Sue, Dave B, Lynn, John, Maria, Sarah C, John Mac, Christine D and Graham A, &c. Susan had had some sort of fall out with Peter about coming to the Fox and he had gone off somewhere with Chippy. He eventually followed her to the party (David L's) but she had nothing to do with him for the rest of the night. Jacq and I went with Sarah and John and he insisted on having fish and chips first which set us back a bit.

My recollections of the night are dim and mixed. Janet Rootes (Roots?) arrived with Mick Orchard and his wife and we laughed a good deal about old times. She talked about June B but I cannot remember exactly what was discussed. Tony, Martyn and Chris R were there.

A nasty accident occurred. I sat on a glass. A sherry glass to be precise. It gave me a deep cut at the top of my buttocks, and I bled profusely for over an hour. My white trousers were ruined. People filed solemnly through the bedroom to inspect the damage, and it soon became clear that I'd require stitches. So, at 5am Dave B drove me to Otley Hospital where I was given three stitches. The nurses were in hysterics at the sight of my holed and bloody underpants. I looked like the victim of an attempted assassination. We arrived home after 7. Lynn and Jacq were waiting patiently.

-=-

Monday July 31, 1978

To Burley~in~Wharfedale with Dad. He's grateful for my assistance (in decorating). I am becoming aware of how easily it is in this world to please and cheer people.

-=-

Sunday July 30, 1978

10th after Trinity

After breakfast we all sped off to Lawn Road for a days work. Jacq was on her hands and knees scrubbing at the staircase. It poured with rain all day and only relented when we were ready to come home at about 7.

The four of us (Lynn, Dave, Jacq and me) crammed ourselves into the Spitfire and had a hilarious drive home over the moor. Lynn was clinging on for dear life.

Back at Pine Tops John, Maria and JPH were paying a visit. JPH is no longer a baby - he's a real little boy - with sturdy legs and flowing hair. He seems to have discovered a temper though. At one point when Maria wouldn't let him play with Susan's sunglasses he exclaimed: "Shit, then!" A deadly silence followed broken only by me giggling.

-=-