20250203

Tuesday March 12, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Sunshine. Dad went to Horton to meet a carpet cleaner and telephone engineer. It was a pleasant surprise when Mum appeared in the sitting room dressed and looking lovely ay 10:20. Mr Armitage has really boosted her morale. Dad is amazed that Mum has fallen for such 'conmen' as he refers to Hall and Armitage. 'What good have they done your poor Mum?' he said. Dad cannot appreciate that Mum needs someone or something to cling onto outside the family - someone who appreciates her terrible plight. At 11 Dr Smith appeared and I sat in on his chat with Mum. She told him she couldn't sleep, eat or walk. He just nodded and coughed into his briefcase. What could he say? He gave her a prescription for sleeping pills and water tablets to deal with the swelling in her ankles. She told him that Armitage doesn't want her to take the latter pills. She told Smith of her depression. He told her it was only to be expected because she must be so frustrated to have her active young life shattered. He told her not to feel guilty at living with us and 'putting on us' because, he added: 'if the situation was reversed you'd look after them, wouldn't you?' She agreed. I said very little. It wasn't my place to. I took the doctor down and off he went. Dad came back at 4:30 with a large cheese plant flapping in the back of the car. Mum complained of feeling exhausted and took to her bed. Maureen worked 5:30 to 8 and then Ally and I went down. It was a quiet day. We only took £185 from both sessions. I felt particularly glum tonight. _____. On the juke box I played 'Unchained Melody' by Al Hibbler. Ally phoned Bessie. They are going to Cheltenham Races tomorrow. Bessie has blood pressure and pains. Kissed Mum goodnight. She had taken two new pills. To bed at 11:15 with Lady Longford's biography of HM and a large glass of brandy and dry (ginger). 

-=-


 

Monday March 11, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Up at breakfast with my wife, son, and Selina Scott on the TV. She (Selina) always looks as though she's spent the night with the Royal Green Jackets, or just completed a spell in Holloway.

Gorbachev: ruling until next century?
On the news were hear that Russian TV is playing Chopin and showing images of swans gliding on a Russian lake. Something must have happened to dear little Mr Chernenko. He was such a cuddly old thing. Surely enough it was then announced that the Siberian dwarf passed away last night. Mikhail Gorbachev, 54, succeeds. They say that Gorbachev will be ruling the Kremlin until the next century. One never knows, does one?

Mum was supposed to be seeing a Mr Armitage, FRCS in Keighley but was too weak. After a call from Mrs Hall she was told that Mr Armitage will come here at 9 o'clock tomorrow.

Dr Smith is also coming here tomorrow from the clinic at Beeston. 

Dad was out walking with Samuel when at 12 Uncle Peter appeared in his overalls to see Mum. I first went upstairs and asked Mum whether she wanted to see her brother and after what seemed like a long hard think she agreed. I showed him up. He kissed her and sat with her. _________. He seemed very shocked by her appearance.

The decorators arrived here. At least twelve of them. The tap room was the first room to receive treatment. They say they will be hard at it for a week. I can hardly wait because we have lived in near squalor for a year.

-=-

Sunday March 10, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

3rd Sunday in Lent

Andrew: licentiousness?
A 'Knobbly Knees' contest here. My God, the Diet Pils has brought new life into the old lounge here. Phyllis, who for years sat demurely with a slim-line tonic, is now knocking back the pils and flaunting herself like a good time dancing girl from the days of the Wild West. Underwear flashers predominate. Large thighs, &c. I was snapping away with the camera and the place was really swinging this afternoon.

The Prince Edward, a Duke of Cambridge-to-be, is 21 today. He looks very much like the Queen. HM can be very proud of her sons. Only Prince Andrew shows any signs of developing that Hanoverian  strain of licentiousness. I have the recurring nightmare that Andrew goes off and marries a Cockney beauty queen.

-=-

Saturday March 9, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

My first Saturday afternoon behind the bar in ages. Worked with Margaret. It was dead too. Archie's vitriolic behaviour  had us in fits of merriment. Ally upstairs ironing like a _______.

Ted the Grass.
News: the Daily Telegraph headline 'Glacier Britons rescued' is all news to me. Reg Freeson, the Labour MP is quitting because of 'hard left' pressure. Poor bugger. 'Heart operation girl, 5, is doing well'. That's good. 'Mortgage rate rise expected' - that's bad. 

In Stevenage a public house called Edward the Confessor is known locally to young people of the town as 'Ted the Grass'. That's funny.

Someone asked the Duke of Gloucester whether he thought we should return the Elgin Marbles to Athens and he is reported to have responded: 'No, it would be more sensible to ship the rest of the Parthenon here.' Bloody marvellous.

-=-

Friday March 8, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

David Baker is 29 today. Mum thought he might phone to thank her for his birthday card but he did not. Lynn phoned to say they had been to the zoo at Knaresborough and were very disappointed at what they found. The animals were ailing and slumped around gasping for breath in their cages.

Auntie Mabel is 66 today. As expected, she appeared at 1pm with the Harwoods for lunch which they had upstairs. Mum looked weary and sat in her armchair as we ate.  Auntie M had a very large ploughman's lunch. ______. Frank borrowed our nuptials video to transfer to Betamax cassette. Dad sat very quietly.

-=-

Thursday March 7, 1985

 Full Moon

Moorhouse Inn

Little Lord Snowdon is 55 today. They say that Princess Margaret is back on the cigs. It would be foolish of HRH to say the least. 

A gang of Egyptians are buying Harrods.

-=-



Wednesday March 6, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

_________. Mum is hopelessly 'down'. It is Lynn's 27th birthday. It is the fact that it's her daughter's birthday that has so upset Mum today. She was weeping in bed at lunchtime and I made some attempt to comfort her. She said writing Lynn's birthday card was a wrench. "I won't be here next year, will I?"

Lynn and Dave are on holiday this week - at Scarborough today, and they called in with the girls after their seaside jaunt. Mum broke down in front of Lynn too.

-=-

Tuesday March 5, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

I have the most disgusting hangover I have perhaps ever experienced. Ally too lay whimpering beneath the quilt and refused to climb out of bed. I had to persuade Maureen to open up at 11 and I stood around red-eyed. I made a lasagne and pies, and fed Samuel. Poor Terry (Teri/Terri/Theresa/Teresa??)  came in to work and I sprawled upon the settee and slept. Ally found some inner strength and climbed out of bed to cook. Audrey enjoyed it and found it a huge joke. Then, at 2pm, when the calm of post-lunch activity descended who should appear but David and Jean Watts with the Dowager Watts and Hannah. I could have died. We gave them coffee and attempted conversation, but I had to make an exit to spew up. Have you ever tried to vomit quietly? Back in the lounge I think my indisposition had gone undetected. David W is going to college in Leeds on Tuesdays and they will be back in a few weeks when we will be in a better situation.

Mum and Dad came back at 5. She is always 'done in' after travelling.

Andy Bowden's last night. He attempted to persuade me to buy him a drink at 11pm but I told him to be gone. Staggered to death bleary-eyed and at deaths door. 

-=-

Monday March 4, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

The miners strike has fizzled out after a futile year and they have gone back to work, on bended knees. Serves 'em right. 

Driving lesson at 9.  Ally got a helper in the kitchen today. She's called Terry (Teresa), one of the nice lounge customers.

Sir Iain Moncreiffe of that Ilk has joined the choir invisible. Succeeded in the baronetcy by Lord Erroll and in the clan chieftainship by his second son the Hon Peregrine. Only last month Sir Iain was accused of having made vulgar suggestions  to the dear prime minister in the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which he fervently denied.

Jill and Tim called in at 8 for half an hour. It was Andy Bowden's penultimate session. At 11 we found ourselves continuing in the revelry and the three of us, Andy and Ally and I hit the Diet Pils with a vengeance. It was soon 4:14am and we were pissed as arseholes. Andy is a stimulating friend.

-=-


20250202

Sunday March 3, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

2nd Sunday in Lent

with dear Phyllis.
Drizzle. Up for a full-English. Samuel is much better behaved without the influence of his doting grandad and devoured his bacon and eggs splendidly. Today is day one of our new stream-lined system and I worked 12-2 with Margaret and 7-11 with Mavis. Enjoyable really. I always did enjoy Sundays in the bar. We had a 'knobbly knees' contest at 2pm and Geoff's wife Phyllis fell on top of me demolishing a chair. All in good fun. Terry Egan has legs like a Christmas turkey. 

At 3 I drove Ally and Sam to Pudsey where we spent an hour at Wilsby. Mum was bright and pretty, and sitting in the bay window eating an orange. Hilda is such a good tonic. Tony busy as ever. Di came in covered in muck from renovating her Calverley home. Sam was hot and petty. He cried on seeing Uncle Tony and pulled a large 'pet lip' on catching sight of Pepper, the frustrated terrier. Dad looked pale and fed up. Home for prawn cocktails, chops, &c. by candlelight. Snoozed afterwards but struggled down at 7 to do my bit.

-=-

Saturday March 2, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

We were both in foul tempers at breakfast and escaped the close confines of the Moorhouse and went with haste to Bradford at 11:30 where Ally shopped at Linfood and afterwards we went to Club St for a fish and chip lunch on the floor. Samuel did very well with a plate on his knees and a tea towel improvising as a bib. He loves investigating at Club St and soaks up the happiness and tranquility of the place, our haven for 5 years. Thank God we have held on to this retreat. We can regain our sanity and squat like monks, if need be. To Cheap 'n Cheerful where we bought a large, sturdy bed frame and a tiny bookcase for £22. Then to a lovely little place called Ali Baba Carpets where we bought a bed base for £35 after a car ride to a warehouse with a little Pakistani salesman. He could have been taking us anywhere. This stuff is for Club St so tat we can stay overnight during our Easter break and Mum can retreat here if need be.

Steady evening with Mavis. Ally was upstairs spring cleaning. Phoned Mum at Pudsey. No visitors today. Hilda was babysitting for Hayley at Karen's and Tony was doing his paperwork. I said we might drop in tomorrow.

-=-

Friday March 1, 1985

 St David's Day

Moorhouse Inn

The first of March. I am very gloomy and black today. Mum is declining rapidly. I cannot foresee her living to see my 30th birthday. Last night she was a pathetic sight. We phoned Lynn and Susan to warm them of mother's weakening condition. Both understand the situation. When they saw at Christopher's party on Wednesday they saw a distinct change for the worse. Sue had a bad day yesterday. Hilda must be a good tonic for Mum because she will eat when staying at Pudsey and get out of bed for breakfast, where he she lies helplessly in bed. Ally now thinks that this is not the place for Mum. I phoned Auntie Hilda later, and spoke to Mum who was so different from the despairing soul of last Thursday. She sat all day reminiscing over old photographs and talking about Uncle Albert, &c. Jill and Tim say they have never seen Hilda so low and depressed as she has been since Christmas.

-=-

Thursday February 28, 1985


 Moorhouse Inn

The Brigadier Gerard: 'Posh'
Mist. Final day of the HCTB (1) course at York. Took a taxi to the railway station and met Debbie Bailey for a coffee. 87p I spent. At Stonebow House we went straight into our final demonstrations. A very relaxed affair with Don, Debbie and Barrie. I went last - after the coffee break - I cleaned shoes and demonstrated the task for Barrie. The polishing cloth was a tatty, old pair of Ally's discarded knickers. Debbie is such a hopeless giggler. Lunch at the Brigadier Gerard - very posh. Our guarded opinion is that the manager, whose name escapes me, is a complete 'tit'. We travelled everywhere by taxis on expenses. After lunch we had another session with Don and then played games relating to employer/employee relations. Very amusing. I am something of a Dustin Hoffman. One by one we went to Don's office to be told we had passed our 'exam' and can expect a cheque for £25 and a certificate. Home with Debbie. Mum wasn't good and struggled out at 9pm to go see Hilda & Tony. I phoned at 9:30 and they were safely installed. I phoned Lynn and Sue and told them of how weak Mum is, and add that she probably ahsn't got long left. It's so awful.

-=-

20250201

Wednesday February 27, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Back to York with Farting Frank. We have exactly the same opinion of the Pirie family and it is so refreshing to meet a person who doesn't idolise Pirie as the Moorhouse staff and punters do. Frank is one of those who resents all authority and he looks upon Sam Smiths as a mere stepping stone to better things. He is of the opinion that the HCTB  course is a complete waste of time and is thinking of walking out if it becomes any 'sillier'. To do that would be a grievous mistake. We all assembled for coffee and roared with laughter. Managers together have such good stories to relate. We had another task to perform and I chose the chipping of a potato. Lunched in town with Barrie and Mel. Barrie, at Levenshulme, is but a stones throw from the Hollywood at Edgeley. What a large, jovial character he is. Sensational developments followed after lunch when John (?) from the Master Cooper and Farting Frank informed Don that they did not want to continue with the course, and they walked out. Don, was clearly stunned, and we all hung our heads in embarrassment at the childish act. Mike Walker will go through the roof. Home on the train with Debbie, who is a mixed bag. She fired questions at me on all topics, and loudly, which other passengers found gripping. 

Christopher's party was just too much for poor Mum.

-=-

Tuesday February 26, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Frank Marshall, the incumbent of the Horse & Jockey at Ossett, came here at 8:30 and off we went to York for three days with the Hotel and Catering Training Board. Frank is one of those down to earth sort of people, with a severe bowel disorder. The car windows had to be wound down on our journey because of the ghastly fumes emanating from Mr Marshall's rear. We were late arriving at Stonebow House. Poor Mike Walker was just finishing a talk and making his excuses to disappear, and we sat - about 12 of us - around a table with Don Bywater and a plump blond called Clare. I sat with Frank (right) and dear Debbie Bailey (left). The only other faces I recognised was Barrie Ashworth (the Bluebell, Levenshulme) and ear-studded Mel (the Roebuck, Rochdale). Don, puffing a cigar, gave us a film show 'Marie and the manager', which we all hoped would be a 'bluey'. Sadly, it swelt on employer/employee relations. To the Hansom Cab for lunch. This afternoon we broke into two groups. I was with Frank, Debbie and Barrie and we each demonstrated a small task. I showed Barrie how to create a ham sandwich. Talk about giggles. These few days are going to be a hysterical adventure, and a welcome break from pulling ale day and night. To was home for 5pm just as Ally was opening the doors. Knackered and exhausted. Sat and had a few Diet Pils. Mum, horrribly weak, was determined to bake Christopher's birthday cake. Hilda had phoned Ally who told her how 'low' Mum was feeling and so at 7:30 in walked Hilda & Tony (T dropped H with Mum then went on to Ossett to see Dutch Nell, a friend).  After closing Ally and I had a Chinese, and Mum set about icing Christopher's cake at 11pm. It was too much for her. She was breathless, and a stooped figure in the kitchen, like a 93 year-old. Hilda is such a good tonic for her. Dad's taking Mum to Pudsey on Thursday for three or four days.

-=-

Monday February 25, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Driving lesson at 9am with Karen Hudson, who is very much into plastic jewelry. A personable young lady who puts me at ease. Driving instructors seem to be obsessed by chewing gum. Is it good for the nerves?

Frank Marshall phoned to say he will collect me at dawn instead of me having to find my own way to Ossett, which is good. We will be able to have a chat on the subject of our mutual predecessor, the ghastly Pirie. 

Little Christopher is three on Wednesday and it is under debate as to whether Mum is capable of attending the birthday party. It will be riotous and exhausting. It is a tragedy that she no longer enjoy her grandchildren and that none, except JPH, will remember her. It is so hard to accept that her young life is to be stubbed out. It makes me want to go out and kick the first wrinkled old pensioner I bump into.

-=-

20250131

Sunday February 24, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

1st Sunday in Lent

Auntie Annie.
Sunshine. We went to Colne at lunchtime to see Auntie Annie, Uncle Bert, Auntie Joan and Uncle Jim. It was a pleasant drive to Colne. We left poor Mum propped up in her bed with bright yellow eyes. She now eats like a little mouse.

Poor Annie. I feel so sorry for her. Uncle Bert just sits like a cabbage. Whilst we were sipping tea she received an anonymous phone call from a heavy breather. Annie says she's been having calls of a similar nature from the same guy for over two years.  I took up the phone and her tormentor disappeared rapido on hearing my strong, masculine tones. We told auntie to go to the police, but of course she won't.

At Auntie Joan's we found her dwelling over the Sunday papers minus her dentures._______. We were ushered into the large, cold 'best' room. ______. We came home for tea. John, Janette, JPH and Catherine were with Mum and Dad. I promptly fell to sleep in an armchair which amused Catherine. They left soon after. A good dinner, &c.

-=-

20250127

Saturday February 23, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

To the Butcher's (Arms) at Pudsey. A poster announced the birth of a son, weighing 7lb,  yesterday at 5am. He is named Ryan Edward. Rob was visiting Kath at St James's and so we left Pudsey fully informed of the Piper's joyful news. Kath had hoped to deliver a daughter. Not sure about the name Ryan. Sounds a bit like a Hollywood movie star, but most people find the name Samuel repulsive too - we can't all have the same tastes, can we?

-=-

Friday February 22, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Donna Lea glided in at 2:45 and went over our takings and praised us upon our performance. We are down on barrels compared with last year but we show an overall profit. However, our wage bill is too high, she says, and she knocked us down from 95 to 78 staff hours. Oh shit. _______. Donna says that next week Frank Marshall, newly installed at the Horse & Jockey, is motoring to and from the course, and suggested I might give him a call and scrounge a lift. This I did, and he came across as amiable. Phew, at least I can come home in the evenings and not stay over in York.

HRH The Duchess of Kent is 52 today. Private Eye says that she is 'ailing'. Is she? She has always looked anaemic and we all know she went slightly ga-ga after a miscarriage in (silver) jubilee year followed by the death of her mother Lady Worsley, which brought on depression. I thought she had since been rehabilitated. Do we blame 'Boy George' St Andrews for the decline?

-=-

20250122

Thursday February 21, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

We went to Guiseley to dine out with Sue and Peter. She has complained that she has not been wined and dined since Benjamin was but a twinkle in Pete's eye, and so it was high time we indulged. Sue suggested the Damn Yankee at White Cross but we went to the White Cross pub at 7:30 and then to the Fox & Hounds, Menston, where we ate in a secluded corner. Obviously, Mum was the main topic of conversation but we did try to remain cheerful. Susan is Mum's replica. We all had T-bones except Sue who had a steak and prawns. £22 per couple, not bad. Back to Thorpe Lane at 11. They are so proud of No. 21 _____ Sue is now an expert stripper, of varnished doors and fireplaces that is.

-=-

Wednesday February 20, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Ash Wednesday

You would think that the journal of a thriving Hunslet licensee would be more riveting that the foppish drawl of a spotty newspaper librarian, but this is not so. Ally puts this down to my vivid imagination. The crux of the thing is time. In days of old I had the time to sit and dwell over my journal, often for hours, but now the best I can do is a mad, frantic scribble, and much of the zest, humour and sharp comment is missed. Andy Bowden's Boy George look-alike girlfriend has kept a daily journal since Jan 1 1974 and we have found we share very similar views. Our journals are compulsive stuff. To ignore our pens for even a few days gives us such great feelings of guilt. I am relieved that I am not the only one tormented so.

-=-

Tuesday February 19, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Shrove Tuesday

Dad went back to Horton today to make sure no further leaks have sprung. He came back satisfied.

The Prince Andrew is twenty five today, and somewhere on the high seas. I had hoped that Carolyn Herbert would snare him - you know, Porchy Carnarvon's daughter. So suitable. 

-=-

Monday February 18, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Washington's Birthday Observance

Driving lesson at 9am with the not so Greenham Common Karen Hudson. She is a very relaxing person to motor with. I feel competent and far from the bungling buffoon of '75. I have a letter confirming my driving test is fixed for August 14. Mum looked very distant when I told her the date and I could clearly see that she was thinking August is too late for her.

-=-

Sunday February 17, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Quinquagesima

We want another child. Samuel will be two before long and it would be so good to have two babes of similar age. Two angels. I feel strangled by emotion. My mother is dying and I cannot write objectively about her any more. (Redaction).

A pub crawl. The Menston Arms, Station Hotel, Emmott Arms and the Butcher's at Pudsey. Rob sent Ally upstairs to see the expectant Kath, who is now sick of waiting.

-=-

Saturday February 16, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Waltergarth.
To Horton. It was a fine, crisp day but our peace was shattered on arriving at Waltergarth by the sound of running water - a furious torrent in fact. A downpour coming through the kitchen ceiling and the whole bungalow was awash. It was to be expected really because recent temperatures have been in the minuses. Dad didn't panic or fluster and was very casual about the disaster. Why worry? Frances (neighbour) came dashing in and found us a plumber who fixed the pipe in the loft and I spent the afternoon drying the kitchen and emptying the cupboards of damp, soggy food. Dad was soaked to the skin and blue with cold. Frances took us in for hot soup and a warm which was a God send. She really is a thoughtful lady. I phoned Ally and spoke to Mum about the leak. She said: "I wish I could sell the bloody place." Home in the dark to a glum reception. We had Chinese food.

-=-

Friday February 15, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Andrew is 21 today and is celebrating quietly with Lorraine. Will she be Mrs Dixon soon? It has been discussed.

I have to go to York next week on a hotel and catering training board course, Don Bywater presiding.  It's a three-day event from Feb 26, and I do not relish the idea. Rob (Piper) attended the course last year and was subjected to a series of humiliating games and tests. No point in dodging though because I will only have to do it at a later date. It looks like I will have to stay over in York too. Ally quakes. We will miss each other so. 

-=-

Thursday February 14, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Valentine's Day

Mum and Dad went to Guiseley to visit the girls. Mum ate a large fish from Harry Ramsden's which disagreed with her somewhat. It was something called a 'special'.

Received some books in the post from our book club. Princess Margaret by Christopher Warwick, and Elizabeth II by the Countess of Longford and a picture book of the Churchills by their daughter Lady Soames entitled 'Winnie and Clem'. I do love new books.

It is old Reg Scott's birthday. He's 85. That's if he's still with us. Muriel Rawnsley's birthday too. We are told that poor old Jim (Rawnsley) had a successful gall bladder op last year. He'd been yellow too before his surgery. Lynn recently saw Muriel who was distressed to hear about Mum and sent her best wishes adding that she is praying to God.

-=-

Wednesday February 13, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Our first anniversary here. Cold. We went shopping. Bought Valentine's day cards and peered into shop windows. Ally took her watch into Samuels but it is beyond repair.

Evening deathly quiet. George and Debbie Bailey (Hollywood Days, &c) and Paul and Jenny (the Duncan) came here and we had a communion of Sam Smith managers central Leeds area. Like a general synod sort of thing. Paul is a great mimic, a natural comedian. Jenny somewhat sullen. George is a frustrated footballer with a (Kevin) Keegan perm. Debbie blunt and endearing. Something of a alcohol fuelled evening, though no vomit like last week.

-=-

Tuesday February 12, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Lincoln's Birthday

Who cares that it's Lincoln's birthday? Men from the brewery cellar services came and installed Diet Pils at 89p a pint on draught. Donna Lea breezed in at five, what an Ophelia she is, here to increase our beer prices. Bitter is now up 3p to 63p a pint, lager up 3p to 75p a pint. Crafty of the brewery because Nigel Lawson will slap a further 2p on ales in the budget next month. Ally dealt with Donna and stayed to open at 5:30 gleefully to observe the reaction of the customers. She's cruel that way. Grumbling old men exclaiming that the increases are disgusting and equally share the blame between me and Margaret Thatcher. Irish Brian mournfully announced that he will take up home brewing. So boring of them all. We sat with Jack Collett promoting the newly installed Diet Pils. Ye olde Merrie England and Ye Olde Moorhouse Inn.

-=-

Monday February 11, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Clive Ponting, the General Belgrano mole, has been acquitted at the Old Bailey of offences under section two of the Official Secrets Act. What a mess this nation of ours is in. The man will not even lose his job and will receive back-pay to August. 

On a lighter note this morning at 9am I began driving lessons again under the tutelage of one Karen Hudson (very Greenham Common/Lib-Lab looking if you ask me). I took to the open road like a duck to water. After some research I can say I last took a driving test on November 20, 1974 in the days when Harold Wilson and Lord Lucan dominated the news and when petrol was 43p a gallon. I did quite well and have some confidence. Dad is very pleased at this.

-=-

Sunday February 10, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Sexagesima

The Bakers came at 3:15 and stayed to tea. Well, the girls did. Frances and Katie are somewhat greedy. Frances gobbled two Mr Kipling apple pies. Looking at Mum she told her not to worry because she would soon be better. The noise and bustle soon proved too much for Mum, and the magic of being surrounded by children is now lost to her. It is all too horrible. Lynn is always on edge. They left and later we had veal in mushroom sauce for dinner and watched TV. Roundheads & Cavaliers, &c, and the mundane 'Last of the Summer Wine'. Mum has been eating better but didn't enjoy the veal.

-=-

Saturday February 9, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

The escape to Bradford and to Linfood, and then on to Club St, Cheap 'n Cheerful, &c. Snow. 

Lord Trevelyan, KG, died today. I keep a list of Knights of the Garter but think a couple of deaths may have escaped me. Have Sir Richard Hull and Sir Cennydd Traherne now passed over to that place where rank and nobility hold no distinction?

-=-

Friday February 8, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Absolutely ghastly. I woke up at 7:30 ____________. Ally told me that I am a pig. I vaguely recall asking the Baileys to attend a thrash here next Wednesday. Hollywood Days & Hollywood Nights is a disco and yet it isn't, and has had £50,000 spent on lighting and music centres.

A day spent in a twilight existence. I went to vomit with frequency throughout the lunchtime session and left Audrey until after 2pm. Ally showed no sympathy. Not that I expected any. 

Dad went to Horton with John but they could do nothing with the roof at Waltergarth because of the ice and frost. 

This evening I walked out out and bought fish and chips leaving Ally propping up the bar with Archie. A bitterly cold evening. Later I sat watching Victoria Wood, a comedienne of growing distinction. Pub quiet.

The dear PM has been leading the (Tory) party for ten years on Monday. Who would ever have thought that she could have held such a powerful grip?

-=-

Thursday February 7, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Watery rabbit stew of all things. 

Mum went to see our Dr Danks at 6pm at Beeston Hill Medical Centre. It was just a case of them having a little chat. Mr Hall, the surgeon who operated on Mum, is ill and incapacitated until March. Mum also visited the optician and is having new frames made and stronger reading glasses.

Uncle Peter appeared at lunch but didn't ask to go up and see Mum and instead gave me his phone number and said he would bring Jean at the weekend to see her.

Ally took me out at 4, supposedly to go shopping, but instead took me to the medical centre to see a SRN called Marr who talked to us about dealing with cancer victims and coping with Mum. It was all Ally's idea. Marr is a comforting little woman who sees dying people by the hour.

The General Elliot.
On to market feeling low. Cobblers, &c. Then the two of us went out on the tiles leaving Samuel with Mum and Dad. To the Duncan at 8. Seedy to say the least. Then to the General Elliot and Hollywood Days, Hollywood Nights. We were joined by Paul from the Duncan, and the relief manager from the (General) Elliot, &c. A piss up. Joined by George and ______Bailey. I supped gallons of bitter. Up until now we have managed to avoid the clutch of Sam Smith managers in central Leeds. We were very late home. After 1. Horribly pissed.

-=-

Wednesday February 6, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn


Charles II

Thirty three years ago today Elizabeth Alexandra Mary ascended the thrones of these islands. May God bless her. 

A ghastly day. Frosty atmosphere all day. Worked with Audrey tonight. Since coming back from Pudsey Mum has improved to the extent that I haven't seen her weep. Her appetite has improved too.

Watched an interesting programme on BBC2 on the life of Charles II who it seems died 300 years ago today in somewhat different circumstances to George VI. Charles's last words: "Let not poor Nellie starve", &c. To die suddenly in ones sleep denies one the opportunity of uttering poignant and meaningful last words. George VI's final utterance was probably: "Pass the cocoa, Evans."

-=-

Tuesday February 5, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Full Moon

Ally is most certainly not pregnant. She had a night upstairs.

Mum and Dad to Sue & Peter's for the day.

I was visited by the landlord of the New Inn at Gildersome, and pissed friend, a manager with Tetley's, who complained about my beer and offered me advice, &c. They left at 10:30 and Andy and I had a couple of pints afterwards discussing breweries and catering, &c. It was 1 o'clock when I went up to bed. _______.

I am to resume driving lessons after ten years, starting on Monday. When did I last take a driving test?  '74 or '75. This requires research.

-=-

20250121

Monday February 4, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Ally has all the symptoms of pregnancy. Nausea, dizziness, and an awareness of some expansion in the tummy, &c. But of course she cannot be, as we've hardly made any attempt. We would like another child soon. We have said that we didn't want Samuel to reach two without a younger sibling. I would love Mum to see another grandchild. If a girl, we'll stick Nora in there as a middle name. I have thought of Aron if we beget another son. George Aron Albert Rhodes. Aron is of course Nora backwards. Calling a boy Nora would be oh so cruel. He'd grow up with ringlets, and heavy eye make-up, singing on the Oxford Road Show. 

What do you think about this AIDS scare? It is an awful homosexual scourge and no doubt it will be bringing a halt to much of the activity one finds in public lavatories in Gloucester and Harrogate. _______.

-=-


Sunday February 3, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Septuagesima

A working Septuagesima, no less. Mum and Dad went to John's for the afternoon supposedly for lunch, but when they got there the cupboard was bare. ___________. They came back at 5:30. 

We watched 'Songs of Praise Greatest Hits 1985' and found ourselves singing 'Abide With Me'. Mum says she last sang the old favourite at Uncle Albert's funeral in January, 1970. You know I have an aversion to hymn singing. A TV session. 'By The Sword Divided' - not excellent by any means. Downstairs at 9 o'clock I helped Margaret in the bar. An enjoyable evening.

News: Poor Princess Margaret has gone to Mustique to 'recuperate' in the company of royal 'jester' Ned Ryan.

-=-

Saturday February 2, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

We went to Horton again. This time taking John. It meant leaving here at 8am. It was windy and cold up in the Dales. John climbed on the roof and grovelled inside the loft looking for leaks. It was all too complex for me. I sat reading 'Princess Margaret' by (Nigel) Dempster, and reflecting on the gloomy prospects of HRH's survival. We went to Settle at 1:30 and ate pies in the street before going in to the Talbot. We got somewhat 'worked up' in the pub and Dad and I slobbered into our beers. We really let off steam on these escapades to Horton. Home for tea. We ate French bread and cheese. Mum was very bright. No staff tonight because of Mavis's smallpox. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously. 

-=-

Friday February 1, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Madge Millar is 39. A party for her PM. Frank Millar lashed out and spent £7 on sandwiches and pork pies. The (birthday) cake, ablaze, took ones breath away. She had fifty candles lit for some reason. Ally used a good many matches lighting it.

Mum and Dad came back from Hilda's. The Jim Nasons came here, inc Julie. 

And so February comes.

-=-

Thursday January 31, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Marita 30. Andy (Bowden) arrived late pm. Idle bleeder. To Rawdon, to the dentist. No Hough, No Hodgson. The dentist was a lisping effeminate type. Needed no treatment, and booked an appointment for July. Samuel, all in yellow, went in, and the dentist counted his teeth, and registered him. Samuel didn't enjoy the experience and sat pulling at his tongue on the journey home. Saw Kim Dean in Rawdon (see Diary 1973).

-=-

Wednesday January 30, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Busiest ever luncheon. Cleaned the beer lines. Phoned Glynnie. Spoke to Mum at Pudsey. She seemed cheerful. Tony's cousin, a Mr Tunnicliffe, has been killed in a hit and run incident in Stanningley. They looked in on the crash scene, in glorious technicolour, on YTV's 'Calendar'. It ruined luncheon, no doubt.

And so, January has ended.

-=-

Tuesday January 29, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

I will be brief because time is running out. Mum and Dad went to Hilda and Tony's for a few days, and Samuel went back into his own room, and we had a good night sleep for once. The boy must object to our snoring. Margaret worked instead of Andy, who worked last night with Maureen. A dead night.

Mum is back in the house where she was born 50 years ago.

-=-

Monday January 28, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

The snow goes. We went to Tadcaster leaving Mum and Dad babysitting. No sign of Rob and Kath. Donna (Lea) says Kath is in hospital with blood pressure. All the Sam Smiths managers assembled in the sub-zero brewery canteen. The new 'flexi-time' was the main item on the agenda, and we watched a promotional film on a tiny TV set. We then went shivering to the Angel & White Horse. A sycophantic bunch. C__W took the award for the manager with the brownest tongue (re arse licking). David Tyne came to Ally's side and Fran O'Brien suggested suitable restaurants for our supper. We spent some time with Don Whitfield - a nice man. We left at 9:30 and went to Jacomelli's, yet again, and found the place to ourselves, but for a fat, homely waitress called Doris. I got the hiccoughs so badly that the crockery rattled. Pissed as a fart. Home. Samuel had been angelic. To bed.

-=-

Sunday January 27, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

3rd Sunday after epiphany

Snow fell. John came with JPH and Catherine. Janette was at home abed. John had been out at Beau Brummels until 3am. Naughty. Mum was frail. She cannot enjoy children as she once did. Catherine is a wonderful bubbling character and giggles at everything. Mum went to bed and I fell asleep on the settee snoring like a pig ( so I'm told). Later, after John's departure we had lamb and Lynn spoiled things by phoning to say that the roads in Guiseley were bad and that we should not attempt to drive over there this evening. Minutes later Lynn phoned back and said she was only having a panic and that the soiree was still on. Over we went and gathered around the TV set (Lynn refused to switch off). The booze was sparse and we came away at 11 o'clock quite gloomy. ______. Janette looked pale. Fish & chips at Westfield.

-=-

Saturday January 26, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn


Horton-in-Ribblesdale


Dad and I went to Horton to rescue the ailing house plants. We took the Christmas tree in the car boot, feeling glum with ourselves. He cannot understand how Mum can be so ill-tempered. Who wouldn't be grumpy knowing they had only months to live?  We went to Settle and had a few drinks at the Talbot. I was pissed. At Waltergarth the plumbing was adrift and so Dad phoned Greaves & Warrington but they cannot get here until Saturday. We sat drinking home brew. I told Dad that he should keep the place and retain a home for himself afterwards. He assured me that he would not become a parasite like his horrible father did. We got back at 6. Mum had expected us back at 4.

-=-

Friday January 25, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

My Rhodes grandfather was born on this day in 1901. We had a dreadful day. Mum was very low and remained in bed for the whole day shunning Dad. We felt quite useless. We were very busy and ignored her for most of the time. At 4 we went to Morrison's and did a 'big shop' and I had my hair cut. We came back for a stew but Mum stubbornly refused all food. I went and sat with her and she wept in despair saying she had hoped to see her grandchildren grow up and marry, and then pointing to the door she said referring to Dad: "It's all right for him in there ... he can soon begin a new life .. I have no future." I told her I loved her and held her thin hand but could be of little comfort.

-=-



Thursday January 24, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Snow. We had a dreadful night. Samuel refused to sleep and took to trampolining upon his bed ________.

Frosty inside and out. At 2pm Ally took to her bed and I didn't see her again. Mum decided that Ally's absence was because she is tired of looking at her weepy, yellow mother-in-law. This is not so. Dad bathed Samuel and I snoozed on the settee through 'Top of the Pops'. Went down at 8 and stood with Audrey and Ann. Margaret and Andy did the bar. I did the till at 11:30 and Ally woke to a crab sandwich. She was still crabby too.

-=-

Wednesday January 23, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Sunshine. Almost spring-like. We didn't get out of bed until 8:45. Ally went to the door to admit Maureen and I dressed Samuel and gave him a Weetabix. Mum stayed in bed, bathed in sunshine, and breakfasted on grilled sausage and tomatoes. Ally opened up at 11 and Dad took Samuel off across the moor and up to Grandways to buy pre-packed boiled ham and sweet and sour sauce (for Mum). Later, Mum broke down finding it impossible to climb out of the bath unaided ____________. Later she spoke of visiting Hilda and Tony for a couple of days next week. Good news because she hasn't wanted to visit anyone since leaving hospital.

Allt took Samuel to his clinic at 3 for his measles inoculation. She was out for hours. Poor Mum agonises over what to eat and at 3 I made her scampi on rice, covered in sweet and sour sauce. She took one mouthful and left the rest. She wept at putting us to so much trouble because Dad had been up Dewsbury Road twice in search of the offensive instant sauce mix.

Watched a slice of history. The (House of) Lords was televised for the first time from 2:30 until 7pm. The TV simmered throughout. Old Lord Stockton made a good speech. I do not know whether I approve. Should TV cameras be everywhere?

Scenes reminiscent of the French Revolution tonight. A tattooed yobbo attempted to assault me but was halted in mid-swing by his girlfriend's father, known only as Jimmy, and known to our own Maureen McNicol. A fight ensued outside, blood everywhere, and at 11pm I was swilling buckets of hot water down the path. Audrey found it great fun. I think she would be delighted to see me on the receiving end of somebody's fist. I seem to avoid personal attacks and have done remarkably well this year.


20250108

Tuesday January 22, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Cold and quiet. Dave Glynn phoned tonight but Ally and I were in the cellar, and when we phoned back Lily said that David has some bad news. He came on the blower to tell us that his grandfather died in the early hours of yesterday morning. He'd been right as rain on Sunday and had cooked breakfast as he always did. Dave heard grandad go to the loo after midnight (Dave was watching American football). Lily couldn't wake him in the morning and Dave went in to see him and found him with a smile upon his face, and very much at sleep. That's the way to go. The funeral is on Monday. 

-=-

Monday January 21, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

New Moon

Dad went to Horton leaving Mum at Sue's for the day. We had a stocktake. It was Rob. It is two weeks since the last one. We are £12 down and the loss is in the Old Brewery Bitter. I tip too much away, and certainly cannot return all the spillages to the barrel. Ron stayed to lunch and had the steak and kidney. Discussed 'flexi-hours' which we are going to have pushed down our throats at the coming managers' meeting. The Scottish experiment has been a success. Before becoming a pub landlord I found the licensing laws totally ludicrous for the 20th century, but now I am at the other side of the bar I am undecided. Mum and Dad came back after 8. Mum laughed that it was the latest she's been out since her 'operation'. Mum is worried about Sue's gynaecological problems. She is awaiting a letter from Charing Cross Hospital. It is Lynn's opinion that Susan should have no further children. Pub quiet. Dull pool match. Ally drove Maureen home. I watched Ronald Reagan being sworn in for a further four years. It was an indoor job because of the weather.

-=-

Sunday January 20, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

2nd Sunday after Epiphany

One of those days where we were all tetchy, plans were adrift, tempers flew, &c. To Menston and John's, but didn't get away until after 1pm. We left Mum in bed. Dad looking forlorn with the Sunday Telegraph on his knees. John's new house is filthy. He was very Churchillian in his boiler suit demolishing the kitchen. A podgy JPH was dismantling a spacecraft and watching 'Top of the Pops' videos. I joined him. Apparently, I'd arrived too late to do any work, but had a guided tour. Janette came back from the shops with a giggling Catherine, and Ally played with her on the floor. I sat, almost in a coma, with my coat pulled over my ears, looking out at the snow-capped roofs of Menston. Then on to Lynn's. Had a whisky and watched a Doris Day film. Frances was smacked and put to bed for naughtiness. Poor Katie was flinching and covering her eyes expecting to be similarly punished. At home at 5 Mum and Dad were 'frosty' to say the least and must have had a bad day together. They didn't speak for the rest of the evening, and when they don't speak neither do we. We dined on pork chops. Watched the TV series 'By the Sword Divided'. Not a pleasant evening. Samuel refused to sleep and screeched at regular intervals. Ally was too tired to prepare the food for the pub lunches and went to bed at 10:30. T stayed up bottling and did the till.

-=-


20250107

Saturday January 19, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Samuel had a lousy night and kept us awake at intervals. This broken night gave Ally a touch of the screaming Adolf Hitlers. The girl cannot miss out on her sleep. We went out at 9 and had Samuel photographed in his sailor suit at Boots. He looked a little toff. On to the pine shop on Burley Road where we spent £240 on bedside cabinets and a large chest of drawers. The salesperson looked like a painted doll. Ally did her very best to get some discount but the painted doll turned a deaf ear. I have never been comfortable bartering. Such an un-English thing to do. The flea markets and bazaars of Casablanca maybe, but not Kirkstall. We also went to Morrison's and spent £50 on nothing. 

Back at the Moorhouse for 1 o'clock we found found Mum very bright and bustling around making lunch as in days of yore. She says the day had begun very badly because she had broken down catching sight of her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It's so cruel that she should look so ghastly when she has always been so self-conscious. At 2 we ate stew and Yorkshire puds together whilst listening to organ music from the Royal Albert Hall by Nicholas Kynaston (a cassette from David Howard). Ally found it very morbid. 

Mabel, Marlene, Frank and Debbie came at 4. Samuel was flustered by it all and hid behind the furniture. We ate toasted teacakes, scotch pancakes, crumpets, and drank gallons of tea. Ally was exhausted and sloped around in a dressing gown and could not go to bed because Samuel was playing up. I was downstairs with Mavis until after 12. 

-=-


Friday January 18, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

John and Janette moved to Leathley Crescent this morning. Dad went to help, dropping Mum at Lynn's. __________. They returned after 6. Hilda had phoned just before they came in and she asked me if Mum could have any medical treatment at all, and I felt choked, and just gargled down the blower. ________. I went down and stood with Leonard (or 'FA' as he is known because he resembles the famous football cup of that name). Ally went to bed, but Samuel kept her awake.

-=-

Thursday January 17, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

We expected Donna Lea all day but she didn't materialise. This evening we were preparing for our Guiseley excursion when in walked John and Janette. Ally and I went downstairs under the pretext of waiting for Donna and after a decent interval we returned to the family to find them all silent and sitting uncomfortably. We  went to Sue's leaving them staring blankly at Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in 'Road to Rio'.   ____________.

At Sue's we found Lynn and Dave. I sat with Lynn on the settee and she cried buckets when I told her what conversation had passed between me and Dad last Thursday, and that he would live on alone at Waltergarth. What does she expect him to do? Lynn is so naive about life and death. Truly worrying. Move to a terrace house in Guiseley and mope around for the next 20 years? Sue looked slim and jovial, but is worried about her own condition and is undergoing tests. Chris was at a similar age to Ben now when she had that awful thing in Oct '82. John and Janette arrived and said that Mum had given them a 'rough ride' and Janette says she almost broke down at Mum's coldness. _______. The baby is due in July and they are going to live in unmarried bliss at Leathley Crescent, Menston, to where they flit tomorrow.  _________. We all did a good deal of drinking. I attacked the whisky with some gusto. Janette spoke of the harrowing aspects of cancer and recalled the gruelling deaths of people she has known. I did not find this helpful. We got home at 3am and cooked fish and chips. Both of us feel quite sick.

-=-


Wednesday January 16, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Mum had a very low day and stayed abed, refusing to get out. Dad was quiet and he didn't sit with her as he usually does. [Redaction].

Who should walk in at lunchtime but Graham John Dixon traveling from Doncaster and on his way to Manchester. He ate lunch and I stood swilling ale with him.

to Mabel's for tea. Samuel in his sailor suit. Thick snow everywhere. She spoke of Mum and spoke of faith in God. Dear auntie said she wishes she could take Mum's place. She is 16 years older. I sat like a cabbage eating lemon cake. Ally does most of the talking these days. We got home at about 6:30. Mum was still in bed. Mabel sent her a home grown daffodil.

I phoned Susan to say we would definitely go to Guiseley tomorrow because John and Janette are coming here to give their news to Mum and Dad. She said she would speak to John about his approach to Mama during the day tomorrow because he's going to Thorpe Lane to build a wardrobe.

Down in the bar I sat with Harold. Rob Piper came in. We are going with him and Kath to the managers meeting on January 28. Upstairs we ate cockles and mussels. Mum, laying wide awake in bed, says Dad has been out cold since 9:30.

-=-

20250105

Tuesday January 15, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Snow falling. Horribly cold.

Princess Michael is 40. She says she is known as 'MC' in the family and not as 'Our Val'. MC is of course Marie-Christine.

Mum pottered about in the kitchen making sheep's head broth and dumplings. It is an old Wilson family recipe and now more or less extinct because sheep's heads, like cod roes, are scarce. A great pity. The pub was quiet. Three old men supping ice-cold mild in sub-zero temperatures. We ate at 2. Afterwards Ally and I went out with Samuel and scaled Dewsbury Rd in arctic conditions to buy cod roes and other provisions. Samuel refused to wear gloves and had blue fingers. 

Ally went down and opened the pub at 5:30 and I went down at 8. We sat with Harold Wilkinson and Co. talking about regional dialects, and way that all Londoners think that Yorkshiremen 'work down't pit', eat tripe and onions and wear clogs on the cobbled streets, &c. 

Dad sat reading the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. He suggested to Mum that we might visit Auntie Mabel tomorrow, but she says she isn't up to it. Later I phoned auntie and she said they might come here at the weekend. Watched 'Edgar Wallace' until 12:30 and ate cheese and biscuits. Still no word from John and Janette. Little buggers.

-=-


Monday January 14, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Snow has fallen through the night and the moor looks like Gstaad today. Ally took Samuel out to the bank and the market at 9. Poor Maureen downstairs has had one hell of a weekend. Sam (her husband) suffered a heart attack in Rotherham on Friday night, only a mild one, but she's been traveling back and forth visiting. His singing days are numbered. 

Samuel's confidence is growing and he can totter around the lounge from one end to the other. He no longer looks like a baby especially in his short sleeved shirt. He looks like a boy. He brightens our day. God knows how glum we would all be if we didn't have him tottering around. Dave G has sent Sam a birthday card containing a £5 note. The proud godfather doing his duty. Donna Lea has spoken to Ally re toilet paper, &c. She might call in on Thursday evening. We have a list of things for her. 

Pool night. Six players. Christmas has made a mess of our routine 'games night'. Samuel woke at 10:30 and so Maureen had to walk home in the snow. The boy had a bad night, and so did we.

-=-

Sunday January 13, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

1st Sunday after Epiphany

News: Janette discovered on Thursday that she is pregnant. The news was whispered to Ally by Lynn in the midst of Samuel's party.

Mum and Samuel.
Our so-called 'day off'. I refer to is as an Irish day off because it is always busier than on a working day. Ally did a pile of washing and I cleaned out a greasy fryer. Then, who should appear but Hilda and Tony and little Hayley. We also expected John and Janette, to come break their news to Mum and Dad, but they didn't appear. Hilda and Tony stayed a couple of hours and the four of them messed around smelling each others hair after Mum had remarked that Dad's hair smelled 'doggy'. Her sense of smell is suddenly very acute. Mum asked after the health of Ruby's son-in-law to be told that he is having radium treatment and is very poorly. Hayley played with our wide-eyed Samuel and they both danced 'Ring a Ring 'o Roses' with Dad. We had a corned beef hash, and I scalded my knees with boiling lard making Yorkshire puddings and dancing around in the kitchen minus my trousers. I could easily become a naked chef. Mum was 'low' after her sister's departure. Her appetite is shocking.

-=-

Saturday January 12, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Mum: Jan, 1985

Samuel Lawrence Dixon Rhodes is one year old today. We are very proud parents. A busy morning. Ally opened Samuel's presents and cards in Mum and Dad's bedroom and we all sang 'Happy Birthday To You'. A bitterly cold day and I took Samuel out in his pushchair to Grandways to buy vol au vent cases and frozen sausage rolls. The little boy slumbered peacefully in his bright yellow snow suit. Back at the Moorhouse Ally met me to say Auntie Hilda had just phoned Mum, and she'd broken down afterwards. We made sandwiches and mushroom vol au vent and pottered around until 2.  After his sleep Samuel was dressed in his sailor suit to receive his guests at 2:30. Lynn and Sue and Co. A splendid tea. Samuel blew out the candles on his sticky cake, and then all the other children had a turn. Little Katie was sat with a large slice of boiled ham glued over her face, like a mask. Mum surprised the girls by her brightness and they thought she looks so much better than on Jan 2. Sam was mesmerized by his cousins. Dad, so good at parties, organised a game of 'cowboys and Indians'. It all fell apart by about 6pm. Downstairs, Karen, Steve, Jill and Tim came at 9 o'clock. Jill, pregnant, looked remarkably well but suffers from morning sickness and was violently sick over one of the mighty stone lions protecting the entrance of Leeds Town Hall recently. They went upstairs, but in pairs, to see Mum and Dad, who went to bed at 12. Our guests stayed until about 2 and the lads disposed of the birthday party left-overs. I went through the dictionary with Jill selecting suitable boys christian names. Her baby is due on July 12.

-=-

Friday January 11, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Out this morning into town to swap things at Marks and Spencers. Bought our son a pair of blue shoes for £8.99. Daylight bloody robbery.

Mr Tebbit has returned to work, three months after the Brighton bomb. Samuel Rhodes is growing in confidence on his feet and spends more and more time tottering around. Hard to believe he is one year-old tomorrow. 

Mum has made it quite clear she wants to say at the Moorhouse and not return to Swaledale or Guiseley. However, the brewery won't like the idea of us taking in lodgers, but we'll keep our cards close to our chest and not inform them. I do not want Rob Piper knowing because the dear boy is such a blabber-mouth. 

Ally stayed upstairs tonight, cleaning furiously. Cousin Sam appeared and asked about seeing Dad and he went away long-faced when I said he wasn't coming downstairs and into the pub tonight. Mum was watching a James Garner film. Ally and I do a good deal of whispering in corners these days.

-=-

Thursday January 10, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

A horrible, sad day. A quiet lunchtime in the pub. At 1:30 Dad and I set off for Horton and from the start our emotions were damp to say the least. It was getting away from Mum, you see. We didn't have to keep smiles on our faces and we both blubbered in the Renault on the drive up. We stopped at the Anchor Inn at Gargrave for a pint of Theakston's. Dad spoke of the future. He will stay on at Waltergarth regardless, and carry on with bed and breakfasts without Mum. The sight of Pen-y-Ghent shrouded in snow was quite beautiful. The house, in darkness, was so sad. I was choked. I haven't ever seen the house without Mum bustling around. The neighbour Frances appeared and as she was leaving a woman phoned to book a week in August, and I had to tell her we could take no bookings due to Mum's illness. At this I crumbled. We packed up Mum's clothes. A nightmare. We left at 5:30 and returned to Club Street, then stopped off at the White Cross for a drink. Home for 6:30. Mum was bright. She had mixed some pancake mixture for her evening repast. Mum and Dad offered to baby-sit and Ally and I went over to the Butcher's Arms at Pudsey at 8:30. Saw Phil (of Phil and Denise fame), and then my cousin, Derek Myers. On at 10:30 to Jacomelli's on Boar Lane (Leeds) for T-bone steaks and a bottle of wine. Quite pissed. Ally says that Sarh phoned at 2 to say that a couple had been to the front desk at the YP asking for me. But who?

-=-


20250103

Wednesday January 9, 1985

Sailor Samuel.

 Moorhouse Inn

Mum and Dad got up and decided to to to Guiseley for the day to see Sue. ______. Mum borrowed Ally's pearl necklace to adorn her precious throat. Lots of kisses goodbye and off they went. They returned this evening and looked exhausted after lunching with Sue and dining with Lynn. They had a good day, and both girls had been delighted to see them. Dad says these outings are very important because Mum needs exercise. Sitting too long makes her lethargic. We decided to drive to Horton tomorrow to collect more clothes for Mum. Her wardrobe consists of Lynn's large maternity clothes, a wrinkled pinafore dress and boots.

We went into town and spent a fortune buying clothes for Samuel at Schofield's. Lots didn't fit, but we found a sailor suit which fits to perfection. Back at home for tea Samuel was showing off his new outfit and suddenly set off and WALKED HIS FIRST UNAIDED STEPS. A miraculous sight. Our squeals of delight penetrated down to Maureen in the tap room. You should have seen the beam on his little face. Ally stood ironing tonight and I went down at intervals to see Audrey. 

-=-

Tuesday January 8, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Dray day. It came at about 9 o'clock. Ally did the bar at 11, and then from 5:30. She seems to be avoiding me, but says she's leaving me to be with Mum and Dad. Auntie Mabel phoned this morning and spoke to Ally. She has finally been discharged from hospital care ten years after her mastectomy. She asked Ally to pass this news on to Mum, but instead she told Dad who for some reason kept the news to himself. It seems that Mum is to be cocooned from any news these days and I am sure it is very wrong. 

Rob Piper came in at lunch full of cold. He had two large sandwiches and I told him about Mum. He says he has been obsessed by the thoughts of death recently and that he now drives slower on the roads and suffers from attacks of severe morbidity. It is his great age. He is 33. We promised to go see them at the Butchers Arms on Thursday.

A very overpowering health visitor came to look at Samuel and declared him to be perfection. It was a waste of time really.

Quiet tonight/ Saw a chunk of 'Gregory's Girl' on Channel 4. A sloppy tale of adolescent love. Mum enjoyed it. A few beers downstairs with Ally. Audrey worked. 

-=-

Monday January 7, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Cold. Snow lying here. Dad walked with Mum across Hunslet Moor for 10 minutes and I watched them from the kitchen window. It was very touching. 

We had a stocktake. A £3 deficit over a 48 day period and £15,000 takings. Very good.

Princess Margaret had an operation yesterday on her left lung and the bulletin says tissue was removed which is benign. They would say this though, wouldn't they? Here we are watching the lunchtime news and the possibility that Princess Margaret has cancer and Mum sits there apparently oblivious to her own condition. I have been reading about Princess Michael of Kent in the Sunday Telegraph. She is 40 next week.

Dead again downstairs. Had a handful of folk in tonight for the pool knockout and we provided the usual sandwiches. Kitty, the old crow, wanted pork pie, and so I purposely avoided her. I am like that. I only give pork pie to people I'm especially fond of. 

Ally opened up from 5:30._______. We have seriously talked about another baby. Samuel needs a sibling. He is obsessed by other babies.

-=-

Sunday January 6, 1985

 Epiphany

Moorhouse Inn

Princess Margaret has gone into a London hospital for tests. The Brompton specialises in lung and heart problems. The TV news tells us that the princess smokes 40 cigs a day, and drinks gin by day and Scotch by night. Poor Princess Margaret. She never has any luck. At 54 she has that drawn look so reminiscent of her father King George VI. 

Lynn, David and girls called in during the afternoon. We had a quiet day upstairs with Mum and Dad and after Samuel's departure to bed we had roast beef and Yorkshire puds, &c off Minton china. Mum did very well and managed to eat a moderate portion. She has been cheerful today and determined to be brave for our benefit, I am sure. It cuts Dad to pieces to see Mum upset.

-=-

Saturday January 5, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Mum had a very low day and sat in her chair weeping __________. Uncle John phoned and spoke to Dad.  She is worried about possible visitors. She only wants to see people whom she loves and who love her.

Our Christmas decorations came down today. Auntie Hilda phoned to say that Jill is three months pregnant. Joyous news. John and Janette came this afternoon (and drank lemonade!). Ally was out shopping. They talked about washing machines and passed furtive glances to each other when Mum told them of Jill's pregnancy.

-=-

20250102

Friday January 4, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Gentleman David's funeral. His girlfriend, a Mrs MacDermott, came here at 2:30 with a party of funeral attendees and we gave them sandwiches and coffee for £12. Ally was embarrassed to give Mrs MacD the bill and so I had to perform the task. They drank off Jessie Lapsley's china. I felt rough and shivery, no doubt going down with something. I stayed upstairs for as long as possible tonight but went down on the look-out for soccer rowdies because Leeds Utd are playing at home this evening (against Everton?). I sat in a corner looking like death warmed up. The customers were still eating David's funeral sandwiches this evening. Cousin Sam appeared and sat with us. He has been decorating for a week. He gave Uncle Harry a set of keys to his house - as a Christmas present.

-=-

Thursday January 3, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Katie Baker is two. Ally took Samuel over to Guiseley this afternoon to Lynn's where she's having a tea party. I snoozed on the settee which was pushed up to the gas fire. Mum and Dad sat holding hands together. Ally came back at 5 o'clock with a tale that Janette had seen a doctor who told her she must be pregnant, when in fact she isn't. _____________ .

-=-

Wednesday January 2, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn

Bank Holiday in Scotland

Mum and Dad's birthday. Mum's 50th. They came back here this afternoon and it was agony watching Mum puffing and panting climbing the stairs to the flat. We gave a party this evening and the family came over with presents and cards. Mum has developed a craving for seafood, particularly for crab meat. We had no prawns in the freezer and sent Audrey home to inspect her pantry without success. Janette and I went to the Junction and then the club in search of cockles and mussels but came back empty handed. Mum's appetite is adrift. They all left at 11 and we went to Mum and Dad's room and sat on the bed reminiscing about times gone by. Earl Stevens, &c. We didn't take note of the passage of time and we found ourselves wallowing in nostalgia until after one.

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Tuesday January 1, 1985

 New Year's Day - Bank Holiday in UK

Moorhouse Inn

The usual ghastly hangover. Bloody hell, Maureen didn't turn in and at 10:30 Ally and I were downstairs mopping and polishing. My hair was standing on end & I thought that the end of the world was upon us. We didn't go to bed until 5am. Sue is an angel. She took Samuel and gave him his breakfast and looked after the boy as Ally and I struggled below. Janette sat almost on top of the gas fire shivering. She really should see a doctor. Sam Snr came in with Uncle H fresh from Majorca. He gave us a Don Quixote wooden statue. Spain, he says, was cold and bleak. Audrey was dancing around in the bar - if not pissed then in very high spirits. We all had scampi for lunch and then the family left us in peace. I opened up at 5:30 but didn't see a customer until about 7. Maureen worked tonight and took a lot of hammer for 'knocking' this morning. Phoned Mum this afternoon.

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Monday December 31, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

New Year's Eve is upon us. Ally fuming at the lack of interest in our so-called party. Peter phoned to say they cannot get transport and so we volunteered to go to Guiseley and collect them  which we did at 4. _____Back here we opened up at 7, and the evening proved quiet and was a typical Monday evening. Jacq Sate came in with the Winston Churchill look-alike. Both dressed as Romany gypsies and went on to a party on York Rd. She landed me a smacking kiss on the way out. I tried to tell Jacq that Mum is very poorly, but it didn't seem to sink in. Lynn, Dave, John, Janette, Sue, Pete, Marlene and Frank &c, all gathered. It was a very low key affair. Mum was only mentioned when absolutely necessary. Frank, sadly spoke of 'auntie Nora' possibly phoning with a new year message, but we know she won't be. I locked the pub door at 11:30, locking in the regulars, and Robert Millar stood guard at the door. Ally carried food downstairs, and we had a festive celebration. The tap room was dead. Three old men singing 'Auld Lang Syne' together. The lounge lot seemed jovial enough. Just the family went upstairs at 1am to attack our private booze supply. Sue desperately wanted to go to bed but we made her sit with us and drink brandy. We all talked about Mum, nobody wept, and we were very level headed about it. Lynn and Dave slept in the bunks in the office. Sue and Peter had a double bed with Christopher. John and Janette had the settee. She still isn't well. So, a year which began so full of magic has ended in tragedy and despair. God knows what '85 will bring. Poor Mother.

-=-

Sunday December 30, 1984

 1st Sunday after Christmas

Moorhouse Inn

Auntie Mabel phoned and we had a long, chatty conversation. Hilda phoned too and was glad to hear that Mum and Dad are having a quiet weekend at Horton. Later, I phoned Horton. Dad was trying to persuade Mum to eat some roast chicken. Dad says the house is damp, cold and forbidding and they want to be back with us as soon as possible. He loves Waltergarth and the village, that is easily observed, and yet for some reason Mum, he says, is very bitter about the place. She enjoyed guest house life at first but this year has been disillusioned and recently yearning for Guiseley. Poor Pine Tops. How convenient would that be now. Nightmare, a bloody nightmare.

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Saturday December 29, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Uncle Albert died 15 years ago today. Mum and Dad got up early and went to Airedale Hospital where Mum saw Mr Hall and her stitches removed quite painlessly. I had an awful day after they had gone and wept hopelessly at the little things. I had been brave and void of hysterical emotion whilst they were here. ________. Drank a lot of whisky. Ally did the ironing and scurried around like a washer woman. Mavis worked this evening and I ran up and down the stairs to see Ally and top up with Bell's Whisky. Phoned everyone. David didn't put me on to Lynn because she was far away in a distant corner of the house. Do they perhaps live in Blenheim Palace, or what? He told me they'd been with friends last night to the Menston Arms and was surprised when I told him that Mum and Dad have returned to Horton. We were going to have a family party for New Year's Eve, but now Lynn and Dave might stay away -- 'We only wanted to come see Mum and Dad' was the remark. Susan is of a similar opinion, but John will come. Ally stood fuming over her ironing board.....

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Friday December 28, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

I am compiling this by candle light, dear reader. We neglected the pub today, again. I do not feel guilty. We are 'coddling' Mum, as Dad says. Ally feels cold and shivery and she sat huddled on the settee. Tonight we all watched TV together, Mum and Dad holding hands by the fireside. Watched a ridiculous 'Miss Marple' play and I didn't go down to the bar until the very end. Mum stayed up to watch Barry Manilow. I find him quite horrific. This was followed by a chunk of 'Brief Encounter', Frankenstein and Count Dracula. I watched the horror films alone, clutching a glass of whisky and with a box of Milk Tray upon my knees.

-=-

Thursday December 27, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

We are still sitting around in festive paper party hats cracking nuts and scoffing chocolates. I never get the chance to speak to Papa in private and I do not know whether he thinks Mum is progressing, if at all. Her appetite is non-existent now. At lunchtime Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony appeared and seemed stunned by Mum's appearance. Mum sat in a high-backed chair, her long, thin fingers resting on the arms. Hilda seemed to fix her eyes on them for ages, aghast at the yellowness. Mum was bright and laughing and drank several Beachcomber Creams. She now finds alcohol distasteful. Lynn, Dave and the children came in and Mum promptly went to bed. They had been to the 'January Sales' in Leeds. _________. I showed Hilda to the door and she looked quite dreadful and asked: "We are never going to have any results from these tests, are we, Michael." I shrugged and shuffled from foot to foot in the cold. The afternoon had taken it's toll on Mum's strength and for the rest of the day she was weary.

-=-

Wednesday December 26, 1984

Moorhouse Inn

A quiet day. It was hardly worth opening. Mum and Dad stayed in bed late. She became more hideously yellow this afternoon, even her scalp where the yellow glowed through her hair. We went down to see Audrey in the bar but I came back upstairs at 2 and lay on the bed chatting to Mum. We ate a carbon-copy Christmas lunch at 3:30. Ally cracked a tooth on the Christmas pudding which had become brittle being over-cooked in the microwave. The piece of tooth hit the table with a crack and then disappeared. Archie came in pissed tonight and I gave him a few harsh words and off he went in a huff. A quiet gloomy evening.

-=-

Tuesday December 25, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Christmas Day. Up bright and cheerful, 'O Come All Ye Faithful' blasting away on the stereo followed by Nat King Cole which choked me a bit. Mum was up and dressed in red and wearing a party hat for 10 o'clock when Lynn, Dave, Sue and Peter arrived with their multitude of offspring. Samuel was stunned at the sight of all the other children ripping open presents and playing with Christmas wrapping paper. We opened the pub from 11 until 1, and the day downstairs felt like a Sunday lunch type of day and wasn't over-festive. We were upstairs again by 2 o'clock and all the others left us, departing to Guiseley, and leaving us in peace. Mum cannot really cope with too much activity. I suppose it's very frustrating for her. Just as we sat down to lunch at 3 John and Janette came in with the children, except Hannah of course. Mum ate a good dinner but we didn't do anything too heavy. Turkey, new potatoes, asparagus, &c. We watched the Queen and then switched the box off. The TV is a nuisance at Christmas. The Queen spoke of family and showed a clip of the royal christening from last Friday (Prince Harry). A hoo-ha apparently because Princess Anne wasn't asked to be a godmother and so instead she went out to shoot rabbits on her Gatcombe Park estate. What rot. Collapsed after dinner. Mum becomes snappy on an afternoon, and realises this but can do nothing about it. Janette got her head bitten off for calling Dad 'Dad'. 'He's not your Dad', she growled. _________. Mum drifted back to bed at intervals. Dad was very pleased at the amount of lunch she consumed because her appetite is now non-existent. When Mum is out of the room Dad becomes very emotional. We gave them a Sam Chadwick print of Pen-y-Ghent and he knows exactly where it was painted from in Horton. F & B phoned and we all chattered. They sent us a gold carriage clock and we spent ages trying to get it to go. The battery was dead. A blissful evening with our feet up eating chocolates and drinking. I snored in an armchair for an hour or so. Mum enjoyed a sip of something called 'Beachcomber Cream' . By 11 we were all bushed. Dad and I had a pile of salmon sandwiches after Mum and Ally had retired and he very touched at our Christmas together and despite the sadness we all have etched upon us it has been a Christmas day of peace and thankfulness because we are so fearful of what next year might bring.

-=-


Monday December 24, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Christmas Eve, and strange as it may seem it wasn't horrible. Out to the shops at dawn to buy booze, poultry and more booze. The car groaned beneath the vast weight. Ally went out again at 11, and I blew up balloons to festoon the tap room. Mum phoned to say they'd be with us for 12, and they did just that. Mum negotiated the stairs and puffed and panted to the top. We sat in the sun drenched lounge eating salmon sandwiches from the Minton china. Well, why not. Mum looked shocking in the afternoon. It is so good to have them here. The greatest Christmas present we could have asked for. Let us hope to God it won't be Mum's last. Life without Mum will be one Hell of a lot gloomier. It isn't until something like this happens that you realise how much you like your life for the other people in it. I have always done things to please her. The void will be unbearable. We only have one mother, don't we? Not hideously busy in the bars. I kept nipping upstairs this evening. Placido Domingo or Pavarotti was on the telly. It is a shock for me to see Mum slumped in a chair with no energy or bounce. Will she ever regain strength or is this the beginning of her deterioration? 

-=-

Sunday December 23, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Frances Baker.
We phoned Lynn and arranged to meet David at Club Street at 2:30 to collect our double bed. This all went to schedule and we were back at the Moorhouse for 4. David helped me erect it, and we put up bunk beds in the office for any Christmas visitors. Ally had an enlightening time around our (Christmas) tree with Frances. After studying it for a while (the tree) Frances exclaimed: "They are very big balls ... but not as big as ours ...". It's the Tranmere syndrome, you know. She also spotted crumbs on the floor and asked if they were from Samuel's lunch, but then said "Oh no, they can't be because lunch was such a long time ago." Katie is very sweet and seems to be in her own private little world. Lynn didn't come and was at home. I am numb with shock. At times I go into uncontrollable fits of shaking and break down crying, and at other times I can talk about Mum quite calmly. I feel guilty smiling and laughing with customers. Mum's life is over at 50.

-=-

Saturday December 22, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

New Moon

We decided today to go back to Airedale Hospital to see Mum but as We were steaming about she phoned to say they are releasing her for Christmas and asks if she can still come here as originally planned. What joy. This really put the Christmas spirit back into us. We went to Airedale. Dad was elated that Mum can 'go home' as he put it, although at the mention of Waltergarth she turned up her nose saying it will not be very festive at Horton-in-Ribblesdale. Poor Mum is hideously yellow, but we no longer mention it. All the joking about it has gone. Dad gave us £20 to contribute to the Christmas fayre which I took reluctantly. We have decided to bring our bed from Club Street. Mum finds it comfortable.


Friday December 21, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

A party for the bar staff tonight. We have to keep going. I smoke and drank like a fish. Do fish drink? My knowledge of fish isn't good. They might not even smoke either. It was only staff and Karma & Co, John, Janette, Tina, and Sam Rhodes Snr. Very late night and we ended upstairs listening to records. Janette was violently sick, but not because of booze. Apparently she has a kidney disorder. The girl refuses to visit a doctor. Very foolish.

-=-

Thursday December 20, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

In the midst of this grief we are expected to make Christmas dinners for the public. We go about like automatons. Today I decided not to cry because we are seeing Mum this evening and I am drained. We went to John's at 5pm via Marlene's where we deposited Samuel. The Harwoods asked no questions, but looks say it all. With John & Janette to Airedale (Hospital). We found Dad in the day room making whoopee with the nurses having a seasonal fuddle. He took us to Mum's room. She was very yellow and in bed wrapped in a blue woolly cardigan and exceedingly cheerful. The conversation was superficial. She explained the rudiments of Ludo and Postman's Knock to an innocent Janette and chattered about anything but her illness or situation. The terrible thing is that she has to stay in hospital for Christmas. It could be her last Christmas. Dad kept up his usual jovial banter, but he must be going through Hell. He told Mr Hall, on being given the news, that 'you have just shattered our family'. Mum did appear frail, but where does her operation end and her illness begin? After lots of kisses we left at 8:30. Mum told us she had seen an announcement in the local paper that Edith Blackwell had died on Dec. 4th. 'Poor old Edith', she kept repeating. My mother will never be old. I feel eaten away inside.

-=-

20250101

Wednesday December 19, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Last night we called in on Auntie Mabel before going to Guiseley. She was very optimistic about Mum and wouldn't accept our bulletin that she is 'very poorly'. Dad has decided to tell no one of the seriousness of Mum's condition. We are told we can say her condition is serious but the word 'cancer' is outlawed. Mabel spoke of God and of having faith, &c. She says Hilda has been phoning throughout the day with nothing but doom and gloom. We cannot convince Mabel that Hilda's fears are so much closer to the truth. _________. On to Hilda's but they were at Macro, and we saw Diane. We called back at Hilda's at midnight. Samuel slept on the settee and they gave us a stiff drink but Mum was barely touched upon but by the look on her face  we can see that she knows.

-=-

Tuesday December 18, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

John took Dad to see Mr Hall at 7:30am and he told him no more than what he told him so bluntly on the phone yesterday. Dad stayed until 9pm with Mum. She was expecting to see gallstones in a jar next to the bed and was told they had 'crumbled to nothing' in the operation . Dad says she just gave Mr Hall a long, hard look, but said nothing. He did tell her that she has a 'tumour' and that they are sending tissues for tests, when in actuality they are going to do nothing, because nothing can be done. 

(large redaction).

I am at a complete and utter loss.

-=-

Monday December 17, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

The worst day of my life. Nervous all day about Mum's operation and she phoned bravely in the morning to say she was already on a drip and ready for the surgeon at 2pm. We had to cook and be friendly downstairs when all day our thoughts were with Mum and Dad. Dad went to Sue's to await the result. I phoned him at 3 and said something silly which made him break down. He is wallpapering Sue's loo to take his mind off things. We were having tea later at 4:30 or so when Dad phoned and he seemed cold and without emotion and told us that the news is bad and that Mum has cancer in her stomach, liver and pancreas. I dropped the phone and went into the kitchen crying. Ally screamed and when she picked up the phone Dad couldn't speak. I fell onto the bed. (Large emotional segment redacted). Ally asked Audrey to open the bar and we drove to Guiseley. _________________. Dad went to Airedale at 7:30 where Mum is conscious and oblivious to her condition. Dad will see Mr Hall at 7:30am tomorrow. 

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Sunday December 16, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

3rd Sunday in Advent

We slept until the phone rang at 8:45. It was a nurse from Airedale (hospital) summoning Dad to see Mr Hall at 10am. He went off leaving me in a state of turmoil. What could have happened? Ally went to Linfood and I did my cellar work. Mum phoned at 11 to say Hall only wanted to see Dad to tell him they're operating on Monday at 2pm and that they are 90 per cent certain that the blockage in a drain to the liver is a dislodged gall-stone. Ninety per cent isn't good enough though. I cannot share Mum's calmness. How brave she is. We phoned her this evening to wish her luck for tomorrow. She was nervous. Who wouldn't be? Jill and Tim came here.

-=-

Saturday December 15, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Fog. To Bradford where we collected books to take to Mum in Airedale Hosp. (She phoned this morning to say the gall bladder op is fixed for Monday or Wednesday, and we told her we'd visit this afternoon. She asked Ally to buy her a nightie, en route). We arrived at 2pm and Mum was waiting for us at a large window and stood waving down. God Bless her. She is in a tiny little room, with a colour TV, loo, and personal consultant on stand by. Poor Mum looked thinner, and bright yellow. We stayed for almost two hours chatting by the bedside. Dad joined us after about 10 minutes and he came in carrying a couple of cream cakes and the newspapers. Mum talked about the poor Bucks Fizz singer lying in a coma, and went with Samuel to look at the hospital Christmas decorations. She and Dad waved us goodbye and we drove away feeling sad. She is such a real brick about it all. To Lynn's where we argued about visiting Mum on Christmas day. They don't seem to think it's a priority. They annoyed us by talking about Pam's fancy dress party set for tonight and how drunk they will all be. _________. Dad came to Guiseley at 10 and immediately worried me by saying that the surgeon is now saying that the problem is not just gall stones and that a recent x-ray reveals 'something else'. He talked about Mildred Werrett, who was yellow before she died of cancer in 1978, and he sat giving us long and soulful looks. Oh God. Mum is seriously ill, I think. To bed late. I cried myself into oblivion. Very fearful.

-=-

Tuesday March 12, 1985

 Moorhouse Inn Sunshine. Dad went to Horton to meet a carpet cleaner and telephone engineer. It was a pleasant surprise when Mum appeared in...