Thursday September 22, 1977

John's official birthday party with his Mummy and Daddy and brothers and sisters. He came up at 8.30. ______. The six of us, plus David and Peter, went to the Commercial where we were joined by Chris Ratcliffe ________. At 10.30 I went out with John and asked him to come back home with us for a few drinks, but he declined. _______. He said he and Maria are going to Oakwood Hall on Saturday and I said I'd go along too. Jacqui will be in Yorkshire to help me 'freak out' in true style.

Later, Dave and I clowned around with gladioli (dead ones at that) and I played with something called a shuttle that Mum had acquired from (Abraham) Moon's Mill.

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Wednesday September 14, 1977

Lynn and Dave: engaged

One of the most historic days to affect the House of Rhodes. Dad was working 2-10 for the first time since April and when Lynn and Dave came in at 8.30 they seemed very concerned that Papa was absent. When Dad eventually got back at 10 - it happened. Yes, you'll never guess what "it" was. Susan called me from the lounge and said: "David wants a word with you in the kitchen". I had no idea what all this cloak and dagger stuff was about but on entering the kitchen it hit me right in the face. A pale and drawn looking Dave, holding a bottle of Scots Mac, asked: "Can you stay in here for a while because I want a word with your Mum and Dad?" "Oh God" I exclaimed, "you cannot be serious?". I couldn't stop laughing. He was actually asking for Lynn's hand in marriage. It had happened at last. Within minutes Sue and I are back with the happy couple. They are to become engaged on September 28 - the third anniversary of the start of their relationship. We celebrated with a couple of bottles of wine, gallons of lager and of course the Scots Mac. They are planning to marry next September. It is all top secret, of course, until September 28. Mum and Dad took it marvellously. Dad thought an engagement might take place when they came back from Italy.

Lynn is like a changed person. For days now she's been uptight and sharp tempered. We all noticed it. Now we know why. The nerves must have got to her. Good old Dave joining the family is a great thing. Mum and Dad of course think he's marvellous. Blimey, another wedding in the clan! I always thought that Lynn and Dave would do the obvious but ___________________.

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Thursday July 28, 1977

Took the knackered camera back to Boots at lunchtime. Got back to the office at 1.20 and Eileen informed me that Jacqui had phoned just after I'd left and could I ring her back? Oh Christ I've lost her phone number. I can tell you that she resides at 102 Grosvenor Road, Muswell Hill, but as to her phone number, no. However, at 3.30 she rang back to see how I am and to to ask whether I made it home safely.

Jacqui.

Miss Phillips phoned at 4 o'clock. "Are you nice and brown?" she asked. She is going to Newquay tomorrow for two weeks. _______.

Called in at Guiseley Police station to get a lift home. Standing outside reading my copy of 'The Times' I espy Martyn. He tells me he's been to Manchester to get a job as an encyclopedia salesman. Evidently, after ten weeks he'll be able to go sell his wares in the Bahamas with  phenomenal salary, and no doubt on his private jet. Dad laughed when I told him. He said he's rather sweep the roads. Martyn had bumped into Maria in the chemists shop.

Tony phoned tonight but I said I wasn't going out. He fancied a pint at the Rose & Crown. I just couldn't stand the pace. Watched tv all night instead.

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Wednesday July 6, 1977

Even warmer.  Out of bed late and didn't get into the YP until 9.30. No one cares though and people roll in and out at all times of the day and night. Worked until 4.30 with no break and got out into the sun.

Marita brought me to Guiseley where I collected a couple of pairs of trousers from the cleaners and winded my way home through the heat. Sat in the garden with Susan. She tells me Peter doesn't want to marry until he's 26 because he wants a better car in a few years time and cannot afford to do both. We discuss the names of future children. Jason Nason! Really zany is Susan.

We sat and laughed until the sun sank behind the Rawnsley residence. Susan was covered in goose pimples.

Community constable ....

Watched TV until about 10.30. Tony phoned and I told him Carole and I were going out tomorrow. He suggests Carole and I should get to the bottom of things. Quite right, Tony lad.

Poor Mr Bhutto has been chucked out of office in Pakistan and Papa made headlines in the Telegraph & Bogus as well as in the Yorkshire Evening Post tonight. Just a few paragraphs on his appointment as Community Constable. "LAURIE SOCKS IT TO 'EM" all over the front page wasn't to be unfortunately.

Seeing Dad's name in newsprint made me wonder how the relations of celebrities cope with the publicity. Does Mrs Bob Monkhouse quiver all over with excitement every time she reads Bob's name in the Radio Times?

What else can I tell you? Edward VI went to meet his maker on this day in 1553 and George V was dragged down the aisle by Princess May of Teck in 1893.

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Wednesday April 27, 1977

Am I becoming boring again? Do let me know if I am. A lovely day with the birds singing up above, and all that.

Glynnie.

Sarah is in high spirits and we laugh just like in old times. Everyone's become far too serious lately. O for the joys of Spring!

Rang Judith at 6. She was in the bath but her mother acted as a messenger girl and I'm told she can go out tonight but not tomorrow. I have no money but Mama - bless her - has promised to lend me a couple of quid until I come into my fortune.

John and Dad are under the car again. I will nominate both of them to His Holiness for canonization. St Lawrence, patron saint of Old Bangers, &c.

Princess Caroline

To get to the important things: The Queen and Queen Mother are visiting Baron and Baroness Philippe de Rothschild in France and the Prince of Wales and Duke of Edinburgh are on their way via Nice to Monaco. Is it wedding bells for Prince Charles and Princess Caroline? I bet the Mail and Express will be hinting at this in the morning. Sarah makes me laugh. She says Princess Caroline is "lacking in virtue".

Dave from Stockport rings at 7.30 to see when we're going over to collect his £142. May 7 or May 14 seem to be possible dates. I've only got about £50 saved up. Aaarrghh!

Met Judith at the Hare and Hounds at 9 o'clock - she is of course with Kathryn (who is very nice) but I would like to see Judith alone occasionally. Stay until about 11 and feel a bit pissed, as indeed I always do when I'm with Judith. Kathryn takes us back to her chambers at Highroyds (the asylum) where we drink wine and mess about with her typewriter. Back to Judith's for fried egg and rissole sandwiches until 2am. Home very tired and with a heavy head. Kathryn driving, of course.

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Thursday April 7, 1977

Last day at the office before the commencement of the Easter holiday. Can't say I'm not looking forward to it. Haven't had a break since Christmas.

Dad: his car's MOT.

Tempted to go down to the Hare but decide against it. Must conserve a few bob for the gathering in Cumbria. Looking forward to seeing Uncle Harry again.

Rang Dave L at 8. He's going to the Hare with a couple of friends from Bradford tonight and mentions seeing Chris R and John & Maria earlier in the week. Why hasn't he been to see me? I'm jealous.

Watch TV until midnight with Mama. Dad and Dave B are under the car outside. It's having its MOT on the morrow and they're desperate to ensure it gets through. I couldn't do it myself. Cars are the curse of the 20th century. Will they still be around in the next century? The Arabs will own all the natural resources by then, and so I doubt it. Don't talk to me about North Sea Oil either. That's the biggest swindle since the Common Market. Besides, Scotland will be independent by 1990, and so that will be out.

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Friday March 25, 1977

To tea at John & Maria's straight from the YP. John is looking really suave. Really. A fancy hair style. He's also slimmed down.

with JPH.

I took JPH two chocolate bars and fed him with one. The more he's 'roughed up' the more he screams for more. He loves being dangled with both feet on the floor. He'll be walking in next to no time.

Don't get home until 8pm and within minutes I'm heading back down the road with Dave B in the (Triumph) Spitfire to the Hare. Joined by CB, Chris, Pete M, and Lynn of course, and others. Carole is in with Peter Fogarty but she doesn't speak to me. She wasn't very forthcoming with Lynn either. No Martyn or Gayle of course, and Tony is out with Mandy Phillips.

At 10 I went through to the cocktail lounge to see Judith. She's a great girl. Stay until 11. Joined by Lynn and Dave. In my absence from the main lounge CB, Pete and Chris slink off to Oakwood Hall.

Home with Lynn and Dave. Caught the end of a grotty Michael Caine spy film.

Dad comes in and announces he's going to be the community constable for Guiseley with no night shifts or weekend work! Just days 9 to 5. It doesn't quite sink in and we just can't believe it.












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Wednesday February 16, 1977

Just can't be bothered to say anything normal today. Well life gets so boring doesn't it? Blimey, I don't know why the hell you've stuck with me for so long. Faithful chaps, that's what you are.

Lawrence: prime minister material.

Dad has just been performing something of a pantomime in his bedroom. He was measuring himself for a new pair of trousers but the way he went about it was reminiscent of the Charge of the Light Brigade. I have always held the belief that Papa should stand for parliament or something. He'd make a first class cabinet minister or even THE prime minister. Mind you, I don't think Sue would want to travel from No 10 to Park Gate Boutique every day, and his appointment would necessitate upheaval for us all. Blimey, I could act as his press secretary and when I'm hard-up in a few years time I could nip down to Fleet Street and sell my inside story to the highest bidder. Endless possibilities.  He could make me a life peer and send baby JPH to the Foreign Office where I'm sure he'd do far more work than this Crosland guy who just seems to lounge around in hospital beds day in, day out. It's all very well, but when we're a leading world power with an empire on which the sun never sets, you ought to be doing far more, Tony.

Tony B rings from Leicester or Lincoln to say he's going to Tramp's tonight but won't be scoring in the Silver Jubilee Lechery competition.

I celebrate one week of freedom today. Funny isn't it? After seeing somebody for months on end and then suddenly breaking off is a wrench - even for the one who terminates the contract. So final and straight cut, and very untrue to life. I keep thinking something else will happen. Rather like when someone dies.

Take to my bed spot on midnight just as Radio Luxembourg's 12 o'clock news is screaming out it's solemn deliberations. The DJ's illiterate.

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Monday September 20, 1976

Another day decorating my bedroom, and Lynn & Susan's. Sue joined Dad and I today and proved a great help. A great kid is our Sukey. By 5 o'clock I've put the finishing touches to to the window in my room and the final completed effect is impressive.

Dad seems determined to go ahead with his meeting with the chief constable on Wednesday and his resignation is imminent. Mum is getting upset about it too because Dad doesn't seem to know what to do if, or when, he does eventually resign. Discuss the pub business at tea time again. Oh God - talk about history repeating itself.

The YP was plodding along quite nicely and it always gives me the feeling that it wouldn't really miss me if I didn't turn up for work. Must have something to do with the enormity of the place. Nothing in the news. The Prime Minister is still alive and the Duke of Edinburgh hasn't been lost at sea or anything, and so I take my leave at 11pm.

Have fried liver & onions and then collapse on my camp bed with revolting indigestion. Liver just doesn't go down well with me at all. Just two words before I go - Neville Chamberlain.

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Tuesday August 31, 1976

Mum and Dad had a terrible row this evening. He wants to go out for a drink but she is still feeling too ill [with her back]. So he goes off on his own leaving Mum crying, and Lynn [for some reason] virtually hysterical. Is it a full moon tonight, or something? If so it will answer the question about Daddy and his sanity. I think I'll change my name to Wilson. And that's not after, or in honour of, Sir Harold either.

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Saturday June 19, 1976

Mum & Dad's 22nd wedding anniversary. The occasion was somewhat marred by the fact that poor Dad was late home because of the National Front demo in Bradford this afternoon. He gets in at 8 o'clock and they both go out for a quiet drink. Lynn, Sue and I bought them a silver plated tea pot, milk jug and sugar bowl, &c.

Tony and Carol J come in at 9 o'clock and he tells Mum it was I who was violently sick on Thursday night. We all laugh at th cover-up and then we go up to the Cow & Calf pub for a drink, with Lynne. A nice evening, and we sat in the floodlit gardens at Oakwood Hall and devoured pizza. They (the pizzas) are much nicer than the Damn Yankee creations & even better than the supposed brilliant objects served at the Flying Pizza. Peter and Anne arrive at Oakwood at midnight or so but we don't see much of them. Lynne and I dance quite a bit ___________________.

Home at 1.30 or thereabouts to find some sort of wedding anniversary party going on. This orgy of hysterics falls though at 2am and Lynne and I have the lounge to ourselves until the unearthly hour of 4am. Please understand one thing. Lynne and I are not serious. After the traumatic events of the last couple of months I am in no mood for a lengthy, strenuous affair.

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Tuesday April 27, 1976

Dad and I get a lift to Leeds with Jim at 8 o'clock. Jim attempts to describe in full, scene by scene, a fill he watched on TV on Saturday night, which takes up the entire half hour journey. I don't like second hand films.

Busy day. Work through luncheon and leave at 3.30. Collect 'Feelings' by Maurice Albert from the EMI shop and get a bus at 3.50. Bright, sunny journey home, and meet Dad in Guiseley. I don't know how we managed to miss one another. Only two buses leave Leeds in any one day and he was on one and I the other. Typical.

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Tuesday September 9, 1975

Up at 7.30 as usual but I find I cannot walk about on my right foot, which doesn't look bruised at all though it is quite painful. Dress, the have breakfast undecided about whether to go into work or not. Mum says it's hardly worth it, and I might as well rest my foot for the day. I give Eileen a ring and tell her the tale of how I fell whilst pushing the car. She promises to pass this message on to Her Majesty The Boss.

Mum and John go off to work, and I do absolutely nothing all morning. Dad is playing about with John's car on the drive, but it's much too wet to do anything outside. The weather has definately changed these past few days, and believe it or not I'm quite looking forward to the long, dark, winter nights, with people singing Christmas carols, and all the ladies looking sexy in shiny Wellington boots. Yeah man, that's definately my scene.

Dad goes off to work at 2pm after we had lunch together, leaving me quite alone in the house. Time sure does drag by. After playing records for an hour, I took a long bath which soothed my foot a little.

A chap rang from Tetley's to say Mum and Dad could have an interview for the New Inn on September 11. I hope now that they'll get the place because it would be so handy. Everyone who's been recently seems to think it's a decent place and even if it's not, a pub is what you make it. Our family, with all its contacts, should attract much new trade. My friends alone could keep us going quite nicely.

Carole's Mum rings me at 7.30 to say Carole is unwell.(We were supposed to be going out tonight). Evidently she's sick once again and I'm horrified to hear that she almost died 2 or 3 years ago. Her kidneys and liver were not functioning correctly. For God's sake, I hope the illness isn't repeating itself. I told Mrs P I'd go see Carole tomorrow evening. I like her very much and now know where Carole gets her madness from.

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Tuesday September 2, 1975

Mum & Dad hear that they've failed to get the Menston Arms. I'd quite built up my hopes for the place and don't think Mum is too happy about the news either. Why, Oh why can't things ever be nice and easy for our family? I'm sure we must be fated or something. Dad thinks that the New Inn in Guiseley is a good place to try for, but I don't think it looks like anything special at all.

Marita rings at 7.30 to see about meeting me for lunch in the Wellesley tomorrow. Dave will of course be coming along, and probably MM. Haven't seen Marita since that party we had at the end of July. _______.

John sold his Morris 1100 today. £15!! I think it's quite ridiculous because he paid £150 for it 13 months ago, but he doesn't seem peturbed by his loss. His wild hysteria over the spitfire is probably still colouring his judgement, but I bet he'll regret giving his old car away one day. You mark my words.

Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony came this evening. I was in the midst of watching 'Quo Vadis' a 3-hour film based on the Roman Empire and the Christians, &c. Peter Ustinov is Nero, and Deborah Kerr a sensual slave-girl. Not a good film really. Mum, Dad, Hilda and Tony went to the New Inn to give it the 'once over'. By strange coincidence, John and 'George' were also inspecting the New Inn at the same time, and they came back at 11pm with tales of wonder. Evidently, it isn't a bad place after all, and even John was impressed by the decor. I shall have to see it to believe it. Doubting Thomas is like a rice pudding compared with me.

The Gadsbys return for supper and we tuck into beef sandwiches and sardine sandwiches. John brings 'George' back and Peter Nason is here too. Lynn and Dave are round at Christine D's residence and don't get back until late.

After 'Quo Vadis' I switched onto BBC2 and see the 1705 version of 'Jane Eyre' starring Orson Welles and Olivia de Havilland's plain sister - I can't remember he name now. An outstanding film anyway, and I came to bed after the Gadsby's departure at 12.00.

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Monday July 7, 1975

The weather has changed. Heavy cloud everywhere, and I'm of the mind that summer for another year is over.

Went to the Ostlers at 12 with Sarah for a few drinks. I thought somehow that I'd be embarrassed facing her after professing my undying love for her, but I feel nothing of the kind. She said that the only thing which prevented her coming home with me was the fact that she was working on Saturday morning. This sounds feeble, considering that I would go to the end of the earth for her if she asked me to, but we all love one another in different ways, don't we? The Ostlers was quiet and we didn't see David. I'll say just one more thing today. Sarah is gorgeous.

Historic evening: Mum and Dad went out for a drink and came back with the news that Dad is going to resign from the police force and they are going to apply for a pub somewhere. No doubt the chief constable will be besides himself with grief when he hears the news. It's no use him thinking about the chief's feelings. If Dad isn't happy he should hand in his helmet and collect his cards. A pub will of course mean bye bye to Pine Tops - our home for five years - but Mum says she's always been a wanderer, and five years in one place is probably as much as she can tolerate.

Bed at 12 after the Family Council fell through.

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Thursday June 19, 1975

Twenty-one years ago today Lawrence Rhodes took it upon himself to take Miss Nora Wilson for his wedded wife. Pudsey Parish Church hasn't been the same since.

On my arrival home from work an anniversary tea awaited me. The Royal Albert tea set was splashed all over the table, along with salmon sandwiches and delicacies of all manner of description. Mum and Dad had spent the day in Otley - shopping - and she's now the proud owner of several new dresses, and the proud bearer of a new 'hair do'.

They go out for a meal later on, and haven't returned by the time I hit the sack. Living it up no doubt. Only four more years to go until the Silver Wedding. Do I forsee a grand occasion in Westminster Abbey?

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Friday August 16, 1974

Very warm and sunny. My half-day. John passed his test at 2 o'clock this afternoon and the events of this evening confirmed my long held opinion that dear Daddy is a bastard. I know it's not a nice thing to say about the man responsible for bringing me onto this earth but there it is. A typical Rhodes through and through. He refused to allow John out in the car on his own, making feeble excuses about it being dangerous____.To the Hare & Hounds with John at 7.30 and we attempt to get drunk before all the others come an hour later. John gets fresh within the first half hour but I stay quite normal. Gang comes between 8.30 and 9. Sit with Marita, MM and Denny. Decide to to Appletreewick tomorrow for the remainder of the weekend. John, in the meantime, is becoming all the more drunk, until 10.30 arrives and he finds himself unable to move. Chris takes him home and my designs to get MM and Marita into Wikis fails. I go alone. But inside meet Andy, Linda, David B & Carol & Christine. Home at 1.30 then pack a bag ready for tomorrow.

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Wednesday August 14, 1974

Rains all day. Bloody awful weather conditions for August. YP not outstandingly interesting & come home in rain, minus raincoat, at 5. Uncle Harry is here for tea - most pleasant, and I never tire of my favourite uncle's visits. What a character he truly is! Lynn and Sue are at Denny's until tomorrow and so Mum is left with Uncle H, John and I. Papa is also not with us due to work. See TV all evening including an interesting programme about the life of the late Earl of Suffolk & Berkshire, who was killed defusing a bomb in the Second World War. Uncle H was in stitches at the antics of this aristocratic war hero.

By the way, Denny rang me at 11am and asked whether I'd like to go camping on Saturday night. I say yes. Michael or Marita will provide transport and Denny will supply the tent. I think it's a good idea but Mama thinks otherwise - she's never been an advocate of outdoor sleeping, she has obvious objections.

At 10 Mum goes with Uncle H to collect Dad from work. John and I sit listening to Radio Luxembourg and discussing the American charts. Mum and Dad come from the pub at nearly 11 with fish and chips, but minus Uncle H who decided to make his way straight back to Wakefield.

Come to bed at 11.30 with a cup of cocoa and am in two minds whether or not to take a bath. Decide in the negative. An early night will do me goog for once.

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Wednesday July 24, 1974

John is becoming quite serious over Carol, the American girl. She goes home next Wednesday. Chris says John is insane pursuing this romance when it has no other option but but to end in a weeks time. How positively unromantic. What can be more heavenly than a few days of blissful love before an eternal separation? Anyway, the Atlantic isn't very wide these days. John can almost afford to spend all his weekends over there. Good luck to them anyway.

Mum and Dad go to the Commercial. I sit with a pernod and orange in front of the tv - see the Queen at the Royal Horse Show. George V Cup and Elizabeth II Cup. The Yanks had the upper hand again. Her Majesty wasn't very cheerful.

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Tuesday July 23, 1974

Bloody awful day. Sleep in until nearly 10am. Ring Kathleen and take a half-day today and go in at 2. Sick of the YP.

Home at 6. Mum and Dad criticise the painting. John rings everyone to to select a suitable pub for tonight's drinking excursion. We go down to the Hare and Hounds where Carol, Linda and Christine later join us - not forgetting Chris. Quite a good evening. We all pull Peter Mather to pieces and decide, in his absence, that it was about time he was either a) married, or b) living in sin with some sexy woman. All pile in the Ratcliffe bus at 10.45 and home within minutes.

See 'The Royal Show' etc, and knock back a few pernods. Bed after 12.

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