Thursday November 22, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Moor Cres, Leeds

Wet. Rose at 6:44. Phoned the brewery with a Yuletide spirit order and pondered over it a great deal. Samuel was in a vicious temper all day, screaming like a little Maria Callas. I blame his teeth, but Ally says it's just naughtiness. (A first top tooth appeared on Nov 14 and since then it has been joined by another, and the two front bottom teeth are ready. The only news Audrey has for us after three weeks is the death of Peter, her 14 year-old budgerigar. My cousin Sam appeared tonight with short cropped hair, no beard, and tells me he has enrolled at the (Leeds) Polytechnic to do 'A' level mathematics. He is a humorous, yet lonely lad. I didn't see him leave, and feel quite sad about it. We were busy. It's odd having a relation as a regular customer. Am I expected to entertain him every night? I gave him a couple of pints anyway. _______. Jane Fletcher phoned from the brewery to ask if we are going to the dinner dance. We told her yes. Phoned Mum. She was out. She then phoned me later to say she is having an X-ray on her gall bladder at 10:30 on Monday Nov 26 at Skipton, but she isn't seeing her doctor again until Dec 6. She is going to have to be brave if an operation is called for. You know how squeamish she is. She really should take a leaf out of Sue's book. God bless her anyway. Upstairs for 11:10. Ally was counting the money until 11:52. Sandwiches in bed.

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Wednesday November 21, 1984

 5, Club Street

Here we go. Back to the hurly burly of public life. Now I know how our dear Queen feels like on the culmination of her Sandringham break. Heavy rain. Up at dawn. Much industry in the packing department. I did the pack-horse bit to and from the car. Left at 9:30 and was back at our dear tavern for 10:15. Ronnie was in a furious mood because he came to do the stocktake at 7:30 and has had to wait for us. The place looked tidy and the relief manager escaped in a taxi after 10 minutes. He said little about his three weeks stay other than that he enjoyed it and for the remainder of the day I have the feeling that I have never been away. The staff do not mention Richard Tully and I can only guess at what a time they have all had together. I know only too well from my relief days at the Red Lion how the absent manager is slurred, blackened and lampooned by the bar staff in his absence. We went back to Club St at 2 to finish packing. I have a message to phone Fran O'Brien and he invites us to the 'grand re-opening' of the General Elliot in town, Vicar Lane, tomorrow at 11:30am. Obviously, we cannot go. Cleaned out the murky friers (fryers?) this evening. Maureen has done a very good job catering for us and took £170 after buying in. A figure beyond our wildest dreams. We gave her £80 cash tax free. Down to the bar at 8 for social intercourse with our enfeebled, geriatric inmates. Audrey worked with Mavis, and worked excellently together.

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Tuesday November 20, 1984

 5, Club St, Lidget Green

Samuel was awake from 5am and I entertained him on the bedroom floor until 8 when I heard father padding around. The three of us went down to eat porridge and laugh at the traffic on Cemetery Road. "Queueing up to go to work" mocked Dad. We both despise the rat race. Lynn phoned at 9 to say they have had a good night. The bout of sickness must have passed as quickly as it came. Bloody annoying it is. Ally is a treasure, having slept all night flat out on a cold floor, and today she looks a million dollars. Mum and Dad went back to Sue's to assist. Peter only took one day off for the move. Naughty of him. Samuel was tired out and went back to bed until 12:05 and I went shopping. Ally, always full of good ideas, suggested a 'bar snack' and so off we went to the Rock & Heifer somewhere near Wilsden. We sat in a quiet corner, Samuel chewing the menu. Ally had a steak & kidney pie and I had roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. £5 is a bit steep but we had a pleasant lunch on our last day of freedom until 1985. It is only eight weeks until our next holiday extravaganza in Lanzarote. Onward to town - Bradford - the shops and then on to see Catherine Alderson. She gave birth to a son, Peter James, weighing 7lb 17oz on November 5. The boy has an enormous nose just like his father. We should have leapt into action this evening, but just sat. Ally is the packer. I rely on her for so much.

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Monday November 19, 1984

 5, Club St, Lidget Green, Bradford

Susan & Peter's moving day. Bright and dry. We went to Guiseley at 10am to investigate 21, Thorpe Lane. It is a substantial, attractive family home. Sue & Pete have done so well to get it. I am reminded very much by the late, lamented Pine Tops. Susie beside herself with excitement. ________. Ally unpacked cases and Samuel sat with poor, yellow Mum and Benjamin, who could be Sam's brother, though fatter. I travelled back and forth with Dad and Pete to Fieldhead Road moving furniture. Sadly, no Hepplewhite. The previous owners of no. 21 possessed a cat and I was streaming and slobbering everywhere. I returned to Bradford in a temper but I couldn't breathe. Mum and Dad had intended staying at Lynn's _______ but they came over to Club Street at 8 because of a sudden and dubious bout of sickness had struck the Baker children rendering the Baker residence a no-go area. We sat close to the fire eating fish and chips. Poor Mum has no appetite and retired to bed early because Dad was exhausted. When I say early I mean 11pm. They had our bedroom and we slept in Sam's room, in a heap next to his cot, beneath a king-sized duvet which Ally had bought in Settle on Friday. Samuel was a little beggar and he squealed all night rendering sleep on my part impossible. We took him into our 'bed' and he assaulted her by pulling her hair and so she found a turban and slumbered beneath the duvet looking like a deceased Sikh.

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Sunday November 18, 1984

 Waltergarth, Station Rd, Horton-in-Ribblesdale

22nd Sunday after Trinity

Waltergarth.

John and Janette were up at the crack of dawn to go to Guiseley to collect JPH and Catherine. They are just going to go back to the flat to watch videos. Dear me, the life of the modern child. We went to see Mama in her feminine bedroom, which she herself decorated. Mum's constantly changing hue is a phenomenon. Bright orange eyes, &c. Samuel had a few belly laughs which made everyone dissolve. We took our son out in his pushchair and wheeled him around the churchyard. Ally was heavily pregnant on our last visit to this bleak, ancient burial ground. Samuel whimpered for his luncheon and so we made our way back to Waltergarth. After salad sandwiches we packed and left at about 4 o'clock. Dad looked particularly touched on saying goodbye to Samuel and afterwards Mum said he sat in silence for hours. No doubt in a state of shock. On to Lynn's. Dave was decorating his erection. The lad is obsessed with dark, wood panelling. Lynn was bathing Frances and Katie and then came down for a coffee. We hadn't seen the Bakers for seven weeks. __________. Back to Club Street. Samuel was exhausted and we didn't get him into bed until 9. Well, he is on holiday. We dined on fish in boil in the bags. Our holiday is almost over.

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Saturday November 17, 1984

 Waltergarth, Station Rd, Horton

A damp and dismal day. Almost gruesome, in fact. I arrived home last night with a devastating hangover and found no solace in the night. Samuel was awake bright and early and I went to retrieve him from his distant bedroom. He settled down in bed with us for an hour or two but by breakfast time his patience was wearing a little thin and Ally got up , God Bless her, and I remained unconscious until 11am. It was the first time I have had a 'lie in' since Samuel joined the family. John and Janette could be heard munching on breakfast cereal. Later Mum and Dad lay claim to Samuel again. It was damp and raining without, much too inclement to subject our child to the elements. John and Janette took us in their car to Malham. For some reason Janette had the idea that Malham is a major tourist resort and on driving into the hamlet she sat swearing, in a lady-like fashion, at the sight of three broken-down cottages surrounded in a swirling mist, and the inevitable gift shop. We found refuge in the Buck Inn, which was dead. Just one other customer, an exhausted hiker, and Tchaikovsky blasting out on the piped music system. We ate a disappointing lunch. Ridiculously over-priced. I drank nothing but fruit juice. Ally felt sickly in the back seat of John's car. She is a poor traveller when not at the wheel. A giggle tonight. We all stayed in and all were in high spirits. Janette has something of a persecution complex and doesn't take kindly to us sticking our tongues out at her when her back is turned. Mum was chirpy.

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Friday November 16, 1984

 Waltergarth, &c.

Mum spent the morning in bed and wasn't up to doing much and so we went into Settle and purchased a shirt for Dad's birthday, and I bought a pair of shoes. At 1:30 we fell into the Talbot Inn (Fred's old pub)recently re-opened after a £75,000 refit. Very impressed and so we remained until 3. Half pissed I was. Back to Horton for afternoon tea and 'Crackerjack' - a favourite of Mum and Dad's. Samuel rarely takes notice of the TV, but likes the loud music at the start of the BBC news and the Breakfast TV jingle. Apparently we had liver and onions for dinner which I do not remember eating. John & Janette came at 6:30 and at 8 we went back to the Talbot with them but the place was too crowded, busy with the curious townsfolk. Whilst here I developed a hangover and wasn't at my best. Back for 11:30 where I squabbled with Dad about the hypocrisy of the Salvation Army collecting money in pubs. All very silly.

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Thursday November 15, 1984

 Waltergarth, Station Rd, Horton-in-Ribblesdale

Mum and Dad are so very good to us. After breakfast we decided to go conclude our Christmas shopping in Skipton and they volunteered to have Samuel for a few hours. We wanted to buy them a print of a watercolour, with a Dales-type of scene, and for about £40, but Skipton proved fruitless. The one art gallery had nothing under £200. Two hours trailing around the shops was enough and so we came back to Settle and did the same. For our labours we returned home with two newspapers, a 'Private Eye' and a film for the camera. Samuel was exceptionally good and did not miss us. He allowed Mum to feed him, change him and play with him, and his eyes gleamed with delight at the sight of his old, dotty grandad. 

News in brief: Prince Henry is to be baptised at St George's Chapel, Windsor on December 21. St George's hasn't seen a princely baptism since Prince Leopold of Battenberg's christening in 1889. Apparently, the baby is to be dipped in the King Henry VII chapel, his namesake. Godparents are Prince Andrew, Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, Bryan Organ the artist, Lady Vestey, wife of the 'billionaire butcher' Lord Vestey, Gerald Ward, a kinsman of the Earl of Dudley and husband (or ex) of Rosalind Ward, rumoured in the 70s to be a flame of the P of W, and Carolyn Bartholomew, nee Pride, Diana's loyal flatmate. None of the Spencer family are asked, yet again. Why Bryan Organ? I didn't realise that the Waleses mixed with artists. The Princess (of Wales) launched her first ship today, aptly named the Royal Princess. 

Out tonight to the hamlet of Helwith Bridge, and a pub where the slovenly landlord wore carpet slippers, no socks, and was a victim to flatulence, breaking wind everywhere.  Then to a better pub at Stainforth and finally back to the Crown at Horton. We giggled at the local accent.

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Wednesday November 14, 1984

 Waltergarth, Station Rd, Horton-in-Ribblesdale

We got up feeling daring and frivolous today and decided to visit Morecambe on Sea, the coastal town that is the butt of endless cruel jokes and besmirchment. We were surprised that Mum was up to it but we decided that the bracing sea air would be a tonic. At least it didn't rain. Dad took the scenic route, up hill and down dale and went straight to Heysham cooing at the ocean as we drove past but not stopping until  we reached the (blank) inn. The yellow peril was despatched inside as a forerunner to see if they would allow Samuel inside whilst we lunched. All was well. We sat feasting in a corner and Samuel had something cold and sticky from a jar. Dad is a great entertainer and Samuel was bedazzled. Then we walked on the miserable concrete promenade and stopped at a shop to buy a windscreen wiper for ailing Mandy. Mum was cold and tired and we ventured back to the car and home. I remember little of Morecambe though Mum says we stayed here when I was a child. Very cold. back home for tea. Later Ally and I walked to the Crown for the last hour but it was darts and dominos night and very uninspiring. We sat watching the solitary barmaid at work. 

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Tuesday November 13, 1984

 Waltergarth, Station Rd, Horton-in-Ribblesdale

Mum stayed in the precincts of Waltergarth leaving Papa to take us to Settle on a shopping expedition. It was of course Settle market day. Mum is very self-conscious about her colour and thinks that Settle is not yet ready for her yellow skin. She is far too soft about illness and doctors. She phoned her quack today for results of a blood test and he told her bugger all, and she has fretted about what he might say for days. It's cruel of them. I have the blackest fears. I am illogical and pessimistic. I blame the twentieth century and the pressures that modern times have imposed on us simpletons. Two hundred years ago I would have been toddling around in a ploughed field without a care in the world and not fretting about gall bladders. Collapsed by the fire tonight. Rest, perfect rest.

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Monday November 12, 1984

 5, Club Street, Lidget Green, Bradford

Veteran's Day Holiday, USA

A wet morning. We pottered about on Duckworth Lane taking money from the Provincial Building Society. Ally was tetchy because a cheque had 'bounced'. We went to Horton-in-Ribblesdale via settle taking three litres of Laski Riesling in a box and chocolates for Mummy. At Horton we were shocked by Mum's appearance. She is very yellow, even to the whites of her eyes, and much thinner. Poor oriental mummy. Dad, dotty as ever, still wearing mum's specs, and magnetic as ever to children. They all adore him. Mum says Lynn has told them that grandparents are absolutely no good for children and that they only disrupt everything that the parents have instilled in them. __________. An evening in front of the TV. Samuel has captivated them and was so jolly this afternoon. That boy will sleep anywhere.

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