Thursday April 5, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

My 29th birthday. Up at 7 feeling awful. Sitting in bed Ally gave me a pink and blue tie and a card with a frog on the front. A card - to 'Daddy from Samuel' - brought a lump to my throat. 

A traumatic birthday really. Rob, the stocktaker, came at 8:30, and LG at 9 with the new optics. We have a £142 defecit which was something of a body blow. The loss is in the draught bitter and lager. Mum and Dad went off to Guiseley at 3 and we sat wearily. I worked all evening like a zombie. Margaret bought me a brandy for my birthday and at 10:30 I was heartily glad to go upstairs. John phoned to say 'happy birthday' at 10:45. Poor Ally says I have had an awful birthday but I am contented. I have a son who is beautiful beyond belief and a wife who is an angel.

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Wednesday April 4, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Out into town at 9 with Samuel. The boy despises head gear and kicks and struggles when Mummy dresses him. Crisp and sunny. Ally headed straight to Laura Ashley. We dumped the pram near the curtain fabrics and went upstairs. An elderly spinster, very plain and very large, was trying on a wedding frock and looked like Mount Kilimanjaro. We hurried back and found Mama and Papa upstairs. They helped with the lunches and we had a few drinks afterwards. The Mandarine Napoleon came out. They say John has made an offer for a house on Back Lane. We had no idea he wanted to move.The house that Sue wanted on Moorland Crescent is no longer on the market, and they are going to look elsewhere. We drank in the bar until Maureen came in at 5:30 and we went upstairs. I was furious when Maureen told me later that the Piries had called in after arranging a darts and dominoes evening here on April 10. The bloody cheek of it. I wasn't consulted.

Samuel was niggly and playing up. He must know that we want to go out and leave him. He was in bed for 9pm and at 9:45 we hurried into town and the bistro on Commercial Street (it is the former Betty's Tea Rooms). A disappointing dinner. I had veal in horrible cooking sherry - so sweet. It was supposed to be veal marsala. I didn't let on to Ally that I was disappointed. She also had veal, but in a mushroom sauce. I was pissed and staggered out stripping down the stairs. Ally looking beautiful in a peppermint striped Laura Ashley creation purchased today. Back to the Moorhouse for 11:30. Samuel had been awake until 11 and was now sleeping peacefully. We went down to the empty pub and sat in the lounge. My God, I enter my 30th year tomorrow. To bed after 3am.

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Tuesday April 3, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Busy with food. Dray day. All banked. Bloody Hell, it's all go. 

News: The President of Israel had lunch at Windsor yesterday. Marvin Gaye, the Tamla (Motown) personality, has been killed by his disgruntled Dad. Wasn't Marvin fraternising with Lady Edith Foxwell? 'Heard it Through the Grapevine' will soon be back at number one, no doubt. Almost nine in ten families have some sort of social service assistance. A frightening statistic, eh? 

Jane (Tudor) worked tonight. Old Harold says she is a calming influence on the tap room rowdies. She is slow but I'm sure she's reliable. 

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Monday April 2, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Pisses down. Albert Tatlock is dead. Joan Parkinson left and went without the theatricals I was expecting. I was kissed goodbye, which was nauseating. 

Balderdash in the papers about the Princess of Wales expecting twins. Rot.

Are people taking drugs in our tap room? The ever watchful Edna insists they are. I must admit that a certain element of the clientel are very 'Dylanish' and look like renmants of the long gone hippie era. Will I go down if the beloved CID raid the bar? Dad will have to be consulted. I do not want to be running a den of iniquity.

Samuel beams. He's sturdier. Looking very much like Frank but Ally giggles and says it's only because they are both bald with sticking out ears.

This Gary Hart person is frightening. He's been going everywhere in the US telling everybody he's Irish. They say he's taking the rise out of the Kennedys. Blimey, he'll be drowning his secretary next. Modale is a spineless fart.

To bed relieved at Joan's departure. Knackered.

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Sunday April 1, 1984

 4th Sunday in Lent

Mothering Sunday

New Moon

Sunny, bright, &c. Smothering Sunday. All Fool's Day. Busy. Rob came and so too did the ghastly Piries and Marisa. Uncomfortable to say the least. I now know how George VI felt when the Duke of Windsor kept flitting back to London after his abdication. Sadly, I cannot banish Pirie to France with a dukedom.

Ally suddenly proclaimed: 'Let's go to Horton' and so off we went arriving at 4:30 to find everyone. All the grandchildren except Hannah. A frantic hour. Silly really. We arrived back in Leeds at 7:20 to find a crowd waiting on the doorstep, grumbling. Opening late is dreadful. Jane came in at 8. She brings to mind Vivien Leigh. Busy. Glenfiddich-swilling David ('such a gentleman') _______. Ally's first Mother's Day. What joy.

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Saturday March 31, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

My name went up over the door in letters today. The Grand National. Watched the race. One horse dropped dead afterwards. Rain. I took Samuel down to the tap room where all the old men gave him money. He has a piggy bank like the Aga Khan. Ploughman's lunches. Michael Brown and Harold came. Such witty folk. Poor M is spending a week at Butlin's in May.

I went out with Samuel in his pram and bought an aspidistra, flowers and chocolates, &c. All for Mother's Day tomorrow. It was cold out.

The Aspidistra: forty years on.

Quiet in the bar. Ally downstairs with Margaret (Milne). I retired upstairs. Noisy Olive came in to the back bar. Edna, sitting in her usual spot upon a bar stool, says that the offensive Olive has 'had more prick than a second hand dart board'. Such fun. 

Toasted cheese sandwiches. A Vincent Price epic. Poor Edgar Allan Poe. Bed.

Note: (The Aspidistra lives on today in Samuel's possession, 2024).

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Friday March 30, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

We are having a stocktake and having metred optics installed on my birthday. Sod it. Mum phoned to confirm that they are coming here on Wednesday to stay over night and babysit when Ally and I go out to dine. Just where we will go I do not know. Mum says that Michelle Myers, the 17 year-old bride of my cousin Stephen, gave birth to a daughter, Gemma Louise (?) at the BRI last night. Bloody Hell, I can recall Stephen's christening as though it was yesterday. I sat with Uncle Albert who was talking to cousin Derek about fishing rods. That was back in '65 or '66. The family are all meeting at Waltergarth for 'Smothering' Sunday. We'll never find the time to go. 

I phoned a plumber about the continuing saga of the dripping Club Street radiator. Evans, for that is his name, will inspect the damage on Tuesday. Ally is going to have to be in Bradford for 8am.

Later we stood around in the bar looking like idle pub managers. Talked to David (Howard?) with the pipe. Ally looked like a doll in her Laura Ashley number. Beverley Pirie came in draped in a fur coat and was overheard saying she was 'slumming it'. The cow. We ignored her.

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Thursday March 29, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Swapped roles. Ally, clad in her Laura Ashley number, went down to the bar to work with Audrey, and I cooked the pub lunches upstairs. Petal looked gorgeous and slim. I stood turning out pork pies with mushy peas and spied Kathleen creeping past heavily camouflaged. Silly girl. Give a woman the best years of your life and this is how she repays you. 

Laughed at a copy of the Daily Star which suggests that the Princess of Wales will have her second baby in Scotland, because the Royal Family are always at Balmoral in August. No, it will be back to Paddington, I fear.

Busy early doors. L. Gledhill came in with a sign which will display my name over the door of this establishment. He bought half a bitter and held it up to the light. Swine. Doesn't he realise that to do such a thing causes panic to run through the beer swilling customers? He announced that Elaine Wills gave birth to a son, David Christopher, just after noon today. I told him I want lights on my cool shelves and he mumbled favourably and went away laughing at Edna. 

Karen and Margaret worked. They pretended not to know that Joan is quitting.

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Wednesday March 28, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Our so-called day off. Silly really. I do more work on Wednesdays than on any other day. We were up at dawn and in town for 9am. Ally bought a rich full, red skirt and a dress from Laura Ashley. She floated out of the changing rooms like a debutante. Samuel, pushed everywhere, slept throughout. He wore a helmet and looked like Biggles. 

Back to the Moorhouse to do the lunches. We needn't have bothered. Then back into town and on to Club Street. We found Mary (Moore) bereaved. A boyfriend, aged 91, died last Tuesday. We called in at the Red Lion and saw dear Enid. The pissed bus driver was in drinking. Elaine (Wills) went in today (to give birth) and Chris was with her at the BRI. Back to the Moorhouse. Ally plonked Samuel upon a table in the lounge bar and people peeped in on him. We had a few drinks and went to the fish and chip shop - silly really when we have so much fish on the premises. Hung a big red lampshade. Bed.

(Jane worked for Audrey who was at a 'leaving do' at the Metropole).

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Tuesday March 27, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Why I write so much I do not know. Bloody Hell, I must be so boring. Tuesday is of course 'dray day'. The delivery came at a reasonable hour and I check everything so very carefully now. They won't swindle me out of Bacardi again. 

Samuel loves playing. He sat riding me knee as I sang 'Galloping Major'. Where have I got this from? Somewhere in the past dear Papa must have done similar to me and it has laid dormant all these years. Samuel squealed as I bounced him around. He is all gummy.

Ally opened up again and I bathed the lad after which he conked out and slept until 7. I think his bath water was too hot. He emerged like a lobster.

Joan Parkinson-disease phoned and announced her resignation because she says she is 'getting trouble from all sides' and wants no ill-feeling at work. I am gleeful because she is a barmaid I have wanted to see go. _______. Jane tonight. I sat with Reg (who was born Feb 14, 1901). Poor man.

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Monday March 26, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

I ignored the alarm clock and lingered in bed until 9 o'clock. Wind, rain, &c. Phoned Ken Gilbertson at the brewery about the TV ariel which blew off the roof on Saturday morning. He put me on to a Bradford firm. Bacon sandwiches and pots of tea. Played with Samuel. He does giggle a lot. 

News: The Queen arrived in Jordan today with, supposedly, a SAS crack unit. The royal plane has avoided the Lebanon and Syria. Edwina Hicks, daughter of Lady Pamela, married Jeremy Brudenell in Oxford on Saturday. HM and the duke attended. I had no idea she was engaged. The Press singled out Edwina for the hand of the P of W in about 1980 - until Diana came on the scene. 

It was a dead afternoon in 'the trading rooms' as F.O'B would say. Just Audrey and three old, dying men. Very sombre. Ally and I sat upstairs and had lunch watching a snowy TV - Miriam Stoppard discussing babies. At 3:30 Ally climbed into the bath and I pushed Samuel up the road in his pram. Dark clouds came over and the rain poured down on us. I went to the post office and bought a large Mother's Day card from baby to Ally. Her first Mothering Sunday. What a lucky child he is. 

_______. Ally went down to 'open up' and I bathed Samuel and changed him and expected him to scream for food only to have him collapse in my arms.

The news: Hysteria about the Queen's Jordan visit which is going to pass off peaceably. The Tisdall girl is going to appeal. ________.

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Sunday March 25, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

British Summer Time begins

3rd Sunday in Lent

Bacon sandwiches and the Sunday Telegraph. Fuss about the Queen's visit to Jordan tomorrow. King Hussein is reported to have said that Amman is safer than London. I would agree. Her Majesty flies out with Exocet detectors attached to the royal Tristar, and Mrs T has held an emergency meeting at Chequers, &c. All silly. We do not want the sovereign wrapped upm and cocooned from the outside world.

A quiet Sunday pub. Oh yes, one of The Bachelors (an early 20th century Irish vocal group) held court in the lounge last night. People greased around him as though he was Julio Iglesias or perhaps Des O'Connor. 

Veal for lunch. Doris Day film. Torvill and Dean nausea. They got 48 million perfect sixes in Ottawa. He really should make a honest woman of her. Ate chocolate and laughed at 'Bonanza'. Everyone had rabies.

Phoned Mama. She gave me a list of dates when they can visit for Samuel's christening. July 1 or July 22. Ally has spoken to Bessie. Her conversation was interrupted by Lady Atkinson, 'wife of that man involved in shipping', knocking on the door and asking for money for the local Tories. She must be the wife of Sir Robert Atkinson. Other neighbours, those across the lane, are called Napier and 'he's line line to have a title'. We have several Napier baronets and Lords Napier of Magdala and Napier & Ettrick. The latter is Princess Margaret's private secretary, but his heir is only a boy.They recently met the Earl of Strafford at the Hargreaves residence. Talk about 'high society'. Bessie isn't remotely interested in all this and isn't a snob, but knows of my interest in the peerage. Am I a snob?

The husband of the (Yorkshire) Ripper's second victim Emily Jackson came in the pub tonight. Tart mad he is.

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Saturday March 24, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn

Extremely wet. Slept in. Maureen came in and found me in my lemon karate-style dressing gown. Did I spy a hint of lust beneath those old, mud-spattered spectacle frames? I lay abed with my wife, son and Daily Telegraph. The Tisdall girl who pinched a document from Michael Heseltine's office and passed it on to the ghastly Guardian has gone down for six months. There's an outcry at the harsh sentence! She wouldn't see the light of day again if I had been the judge.I am deliriously right-wing. Mike Brown says, and I'm sure I've repeated this before, that I am to the right of Genghis Khan.

Breakfast late. Went out at 10 and bought £10 of copper from the Post Office. Coming back I spied the vicar in his study preparing his sermon, and I called in to tell him that May 20 (for Samuel's christening) is quite out of the question. So, back to the drawing board. Apparently it requires a dispensation from the bishop to have Samuel baptized mid-afternoon. What hideous bureaucracy. 

Quiet afternoon. Ally and I sat in the bar with Terry (Egan). Ally and I have decided that we are perhaps too critical of bar staff. They are bloody good really, but living with people on a daily basis does highlight their faults. John phoned. They are not coming. Janette is going out and he is babysitting for Lynn and Dave.To Morrison's and spent £32. 

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Friday March 23, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

L. Gledhill phoned at 8:30 and was here an hour later and we went to court in order for me to acquire a full licence. Stood in a crowded corridor full of shoplifters, child molesters and prostitutes. One fallen lady looked extremely like Jean Shrimpton, in 60s gear which hadn't been laundered since 1966. After waiting an hour we were told by an usher that I need not actually appear in person and that the licence transfer is automatic. Sod it. And there I was dressed up like a tailors' dummy too. Samuel Smiths tie, the lot. 

Back home for 11. Leslie is so easy to talk to and not lacking in humour -unlike Fran O'Brien. Ally was making pastry and looked like a flour grader (see TV advertisements circa 1970-80). 

Samuel is upset about something. His nappies and out lying clothing spattered in yellow and foaming. He grumbled anyway. Later Ally slept on her pile of cushions and I had a plumber to the gents toilets. Vandals have attempted to walk off with a cistern tank. 

Not frantic tonight because Jane worked too. It's going to be a regular thing because last week I was too exhausted working six hours flat out. Ally forgot to bank today and so we had no change. Calamity. Audrey went across to the club and found some. 

News: The miners are still out. We are told that the Princess of Wales is just as nauseated as she was in her first pregnancy. (The Prince of) Wales himself is still in Africa. 

To bed after 12.

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Thursday March 22, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Janice, the (fruit) machine woman came. A batch of photographs arrived mainly featuring Samuel in numerous positions. Some scantily clad. Ally left me holding the baby and bombed off to her dentist in Shipley. How did we ever manage to get through life being separated all day in our distant, grubby offices? She was back with gleaming polished pegs and no further visits until September. Busy lunches. ____________.

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Wednesday March 21, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds 11

Springtime, &c. Slept late and Ally was in a temper about it because she wanted to be in town and shopping by 9. I was wallowing in the bath at this time. I told her frankly that we cannot rush or adhere to a strict timetable with Samuel. Eventually we went to Leeds at 10 and pushed the baby around in his pram breathing in the fresh, unpoluted air, and peering in shop windows. Bought very like. I looked at shoes.

Back for 12 to do the lunches. It was a busy few hours. Afterwards we took our son and heir to the clinic and had him weighed. 11lb 8oz. He behaved well midst the screaming multitude and for the most part he sat wide eyed and silent. A poor child there, from a mixed race liaison, had black and white patches all over his little face. He looked like a chessboard. The mother looked to be no older than 16. 

Back for 3:30. Lazed around and later snoozed in a chair. Made a fish pie, but Ally moaned that my messing around in the kitchen took too long. Saw 'Minder' and then the news. Mrs T is giving them jip in Brussels. At this rate we'll be out of the EEC by Christmas.

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Tuesday March 20, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Peter N is 26 today. We left a present for him with John on Saturday. It's a shirt. I do like Peter Nason. You always know just where you stand with him. After ten years he hasn't changed in any way. 

Ally made it to the bar at 5:30 and did some cleaning. The place is a pigs breakfast and hasn't been touched properly in years. Filthy Piries.

Samuel is a bulky, stocky little thing. We are having him weighed tomorrow and are placing bets as to what he'll weigh in at. Ally says 11lb 9oz, and I say 11lb 13oz. His hair is coming back and will be dark.

Dead downstairs tonight. Jane stood around like a pound of wet cod. Things seldom hot up until the last half hour. Mike Brown and David Parry came in. We discussed non-consummation of marriage. What is non-consummation? Is it failure to penetrate or failure to ejaculate?

News: the dear PM goes to Brussels to sock it to the EEC sumit.

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Monday March 19, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

Another stocktake. Rob came at 8:30, and I staggered around with him, my eyes like piss holes in the snow. Felt most unrefreshed from my six hours in the Land of Nod. A good stock. A £30 surplus no less. Colin Black was upon us at 10:30 with Barry Jones who re-programmed the tills. Nigel Lawson's budget alterations now mean that Old Brewery bitter is 57p a pint , lager 69p, Sovereign bitter 60p, mild 56p, &c. Very good prices in comparison with Tetley's and the others.

Pork chops at 2. Audrey loves taking every opportunity to creep upstairs and peep into our little world. ____. Afterwards we all slept in a heap by the gas fire (Ally on a pile of cushions), me nursing Samuel, as 'Blue Peter' twittered in the background. 

Went downstairs at 5:30. Old Reg says he will go blind in six months. All were grousing at the price rises, but they will all have forgotten by next week. Joan glided in at 8 looking like she had just stepped out of the Savoy Grill. Immediately she mucked up the till and to avoid strangling her I adjourned upstairs where bathtime was just complete and Samuel lay sucking and giggling.

Harry and Marion Miller came in and I took them up to Ally after 10 minutes to avoid a drunken Irishman who was going on and on about Lord Mountbatten's assassination. Later I threw him out for signing Irish rebel songs. Harry Miller goes on and on but his heart is in the right place.

We got rid of Joan in a taxi. The Millers left at 11:30.

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Sunday March 18, 1984

 Moorhouse Inn, Leeds

2nd Sunday in Lent

No leisurely day abed for me. I was up at 8:30 and cleaned the beer lines. Ally came down and wiped shelves. The very old cleaner Anne doesn't always see the dirt. 

Old diaries came out last night and we re-lived ___________.

Dead to the world. Headache. Ally made a beautiful lunch. Veal, &c. We ate at 3 and collapsed for a couple of hours afterwards watching a hopeless film. We bathed Samuel at 5:30. He takes such notice of us nowadays. 

Ally went down at 7 with every intention of opening for the first hour but no sooner was she downstairs when Samuel awoke in howls and she had to come back up for the duration. It was busy later. Jane, mysterious Jane. She holidayed in the Bahamas last year. Just what dark secret does she harbour? Ally says she is recovering from a broken romance. Bed late. Read Noel Coward.

Takings: (B) £143.48, (L) £167.90

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Saturday March 17, 1984

 St Patrick's Day

I went down at 11, without Secret Service cover, and waited for 'Lurch' to return and tear my head off. Obviously, he didn't appear. It was supposed to be a Michael Brown Saturday, but he didn't come either. I propped up the bar in the lounge and did little work. At 3 we drove to Guiseley and found Lynn and Susan out. Went to see John and found the Bakers at the flat. Katie has begun to talk, and seems to have 'come on' as Lynn would say. Frances was tatty. They looked like 'ragamuffins' in fact. That's something my mother says. What are ragamuffins? Janette delights in visitors and made us tea and cake. Samuel, in blue and white stripes today, looks edible. He is Ally's double.

I opened at 7. Had a quiet night. Margaret (Milne) joined me at 8. Marlene and Frank came in with another couple (he was heavily tattooed). Frank drank Mandarine Napoleon brandy, and they left at 10. Debbie enjoyed the holiday in Austria, but Mark hated it.

Ally and I had a long, in depth chatter about children. We are in agreement on everything.

Takings: (B) £178.16, (L) £198.82

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