Saturday August 4, 1979

_. Lynn phoned at breakfast time to say they were safely in Cornwall. Susan slept from Shipley to Dartmoor where they had a moorland breakfast.

I tore up roses in the garden and various other blooms and made floral arrangements for our button-holes. Mum and Dad left for Pudsey at 11:15 with Ruby and Arthur, and Ally and I went up to Morrisons to cash a cheque and didn't get to the church until noon, just before the bride arrived. Pudsey Parish Church was looking somewhat tatty. I haven't entered the place since the bride's parents married here on Christmas Eve 1955.

The wedding breakfast took place at the Civic Centre. Ham salad followed by trifle. At 4pm some inconsiderate guest let off a stink bomb, which brought the proceedings to a sudden end. We sought refuge at Auntie Hilda's where we had drinks on the lawn. Hilarious. Something of a piss-up. I wore Mum's hat, and Tony was wearing a fetching blue creation. Mum met her old friend Shirley Hardaker.

Later the party continued at Farsley Celtic Football Club. Me wearing my Hawaiian-style shirt. A tolerable evening. Back to Hilda's where Ally and I drank rum and orange with Jill and Tim. We all slept in various corners of the house, but not until about 4am.

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Friday August 3, 1979

_. I'm reading more Evelyn Waugh. It's 'Brideshead Revisited' now, and I think the house is based on Castle Howard. Mr Waugh was such a brilliant geezer with a pen. Not really fashionable in the 1970s, but that's probably why I'm drawn to him.

Ally and I decided to stay at home tonight in front of a TV set. Ruby and Arthur stayed in to entertain us. Entertain isn't the word. Ruby's arthritis seemed to put a wet blanker over us all. In order to kill some of the pain in her feet she ceaselessly marches up and down the sitting room, leaning on two sticks and gasping and moaning in the process. Like a wounded animal. Poor Arthur, now 75, says they should never have travelled here.

Edward G. Robinson on the telly.

Hasn't the Queen done well in Zambia? They hail her 'Queen of the World' and everyone is saying how she helped break the ice for Margaret Thatcher, who wasn't getting on very well with Mr Kaunda at the [Commonwealth] conference.  I do wish Jim Rawnsley was the gambling type because I'd take from him every penny he's got on the subject of the monarchy. He says the UK will be a republic by 2000 and that the poor Prince of Wales will never be King. Ludicrous don't you think?

Lynn, Dave, Sue and Peter left for St Ives at about 11:30pm.

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Thursday August 2, 1979

_. Went with Susan, Peter and Ally to Pudsey for Karen and Steve's pre-wedding party at the Pudsey St Lawrence Cricket Club. Ruby and Arthur are at Auntie Hilda's. We went in crocodile fashion from Auntie Hilda's to the cricket club ten minutes away. The club was dull, like a mausoleum. The stewardess paled as we flocked in. I believe one has to be a member to enter that august club.

Karen and Steve seem grotesquely happy and it isn't difficult to become to become very attached to Steve who captures everyone with his boyish spirit. Was drunk by 11pm. We raided a Chinese take-away and went back to St James's Crescent. Home at about 1am.

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Wednesday August 1, 1979

_. Still wet today. It's so-called Yorkshire Day. I refuse to have anything to do with such a parochial celebration. A nauseating white flag is hanging limply over the YP building. It looks as if we have surrendered to one of the larger national newspapers. Have we perhaps under siege from the Morning Star and the Socialist Worker?

The Queen Mother was today installed as the 160th Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports at Dover Castle. I viewed the ceremonial on TV. The gale force winds and driving torrents of rain failed to wipe that beautiful smile from Her Majesty's face. She must have been water-logged. The Queen Mother was accompanied by Prince Edward, Viscount Linley and Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones. Lady Sarah looked plump and sad, no doubt thinking about her father and new half-sister. The Snowdon's new baby is to be Lady Frances. Princess Margaret, stricken by 'flu, is confined to her cabin on the Royal Yacht Britannia.

Ally is depressed tonight. She went to Club Street with Susan and Peter and returned half an hour later down in the dumps. Sue and Pete had gone on and on criticising the place, pulling it to pieces. Ally, being the person she is took it all to heart.

Karen phoned to say that she and Stephen are having some sort of function tomorrow and would we all like to attend. I said yes, but Susan and Peter made no response. __________.

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Tuesday July 31, 1979

_. Torrential rain. Ally signed for her house on Club Street, and all is going ahead. When I saw the property last Friday I was pleasantly surprised. It seems solid and well cared for. Ally says that the interior is even better and more pleasing to the eye.

Sarah wants me to accompany her to the Grand Theatre next week to see Hamlet. Derek Jacobi is playing the prince. Dad would like to come too, but Mum refuses to entertain the idea. Wild horses wouldn't get Mum to the theatre, unless it was  John Hanson in 'The Desert Song'.

Listened to Jacqueline du Pre, the cellist, playing Beethoven's 'The Ghost'. Bloody awful, Ludwig.

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Monday July 30, 1979

_. I've been sniggering about something that I know you'll find offensive, but I cannot keep it to myself. Ally has been bombarded at work about the whereabouts of the litre bottle of Martini at Friday's party. She is a very honest person and told them that she had taken the bottle home. The Martini was mine to take. I have the receipt and proof that it cost me £4. In any court of law I would be proved the legal owner. Never once did I inform the hostess that the bottle was hers. I had purchased it to consume at the party, and failing to do so I took it home with me. Naughty of me, I know, but can one be arraigned before a magistrate for having bad manners?

The real horror came when Ally had to deny any knowledge of stealing the hideous little Chinese dragon which at this moment is grimacing hideously at me from my bedside cabinet. Why on earth did I take it? Why does anybody actually steal anything? Why did footballer Bobby Moore pinch an apparently worthless bracelet in downtown Bogata at the 1970 World Cup? Such phenomenons do occur.

Obviously, the half bottle of vodka endeared me to the brightly coloured creature, and that's about all I can say on the matter.

Ally thinks I will be haunted by this dragon for ever. We've decided to call him Duncan.

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Sunday July 29, 1979

_. 7th Sunday after Trinity.

Up at almost 1pm. Wait for Ally who was blow drying her hair. At 1:30 we went to meet Susan and Peter at the Halfway House pub and sat in the garden eating potato crisps. They have a grotesque Alsatian dog, who resembles a donkey but with fangs.

Back to Pine Tops at 2:30. We sat in the garden. I find it difficult sunbathing in Yorkshire after being in Ibiza. It just isn't the same.

At 4 John, Maria, JPH and Catherine came. Baby is heavier and more gorgeous. They took baby home at 6 and JPH stayed to tea. He sat on my lap dunking ginger biscuits in my tea. He really can converse on a very intelligent level.

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Saturday July 28, 1979

_. Woke up at 12 noon. Susan says she fancies a day trip to the Yorkshire Dales. We packed the car with everything imaginable and went first down to the Fox at Menston, and then Grassington via Otley, where I refused to rent a tent - it would have cost £6 for one miserable night.

We ate at the Forester's Arms, Grassington and then drank in the Devonshire and the Black Horse. However, we were not really up for alcohol consumption. Ally looked like an ancient mummified Egyptian Queen. None of us showed any enthusiasm.

At 10pm we drove to Pete's cousin's at Foxup Farm, but the relative refused to offer us any accommodation, not even the use of one of her fields, and so we ventured home where I passed into a coma in a chair. The house was full of smoke. The cause of it was Maria the chimney and John.

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Friday July 27, 1979

_. Tonight Ally and I had a drink with Sue and Pete at the Commercial and then went on to Bradford. Peter refuses to drive into Leeds or Bradford, and so Ally drove there in the style of the late Donald Campbell. We were stopped just outside Shipley by an amiable police constable who lectured Ally for ten minutes about motoring at 50 mph in a 30 mph area. He was a decent chap, and let her off with nothing more than a warning.

She took us to view the little house on Club Street, and from there we went on to a house party. Very unimpressed by the other party-goers. Fuddy duddy characters. The majority worked for Bradford Health Authority, and I bet most of them were mortuary staff. I took a litre bottle of dry Martini, but by 4:30am it was there in the kitchen untouched, and so I took it out and popped it into the Spitfire. Is this ethical? I had been hitting the vodka and so my sense of right and wrong had vanished. Oh, and we also came away with a little green Chinese dragon.

We left the party at 5am and went for a paddle in a stream on Ilkley Moor until 8am. Exhaused.

Thursday July 26, 1979

_. Maria's 21st birthday today. We didn't see her. I think John was taking her out for dinner.

Didn't get into the YP until 9:30 and tempers there were frayed. For £45 a week I think I have every right to pinch the occasional hour here and there. Sarah, seeing my depression, gave comforting words. Lynn just needs time, she says. Delia has given me a photo of the two of us at Ivory Towers last September. Sarah says one of Delia's legendary luncheon parties is imminent.

David B came to help Dad and Jim welding on the car. Constantly welding. It baffles me.

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Wednesday July 25, 1979

_. Susan and Peter's engagement party at the R.A.O.B. Club in Otley. Seventy, or so, guests too numerous to mention here and piles of food which lasted until dawn.

Saw Gus and Frank for the first time since January. Dave Wainwright took a fancy to cousin Diane. All the Gadsby family were there in force, of course.

Home at 12. Drank gallons of beer. Played 'pass the carrot' and 'pass the cucumber', and 'pass the can of Brasso', &c. Auntie Hilda laughed until she cried. However, I cannot remember the evening with happiness because of what followed. Lynn had a burst of hysterics like I had never seen before, and stormed out saying she was 'sick to death of this family'. ___________.

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