Monday March 14, 1977

Dinner suits back to Dormie at lunchtime.

See in the papers that the Queen is having a controversial time on her Silver Jubilee visit to the feeble Australians. A maniac smashed her in the face with a banner demanding the dismissal of the governor-general.

Gough Whitlam: silly sod.

Gough Whitlam's rude and sarcastic remarks made in Her Majesty's presence last week cannot have been received with the humour and delight by the royal couple as it was reported. Mr Whitlam is to have his leadership of the Aussie Labour party contested by a colleague. The silly sod has signed his own death warrant.

Other news: Margaret Trudeau has eloped with the Electric Light Orchestra.

Ring Martyn at 8. I'll have to have Sunday off if Brands Hatch is on the cards. Can't see any difficulty here. Martyn talked of his financial difficulties and the Ibiza '77 project. The less said about money the better, but at least I'm not the only man in the boat.

Penelope Eastwood.

Martyn said Christine had her scars on display in the pub last night. By all accounts she looks a right old mess. Blimey, is my mini-Elizabeth Taylor going to require plastic surgery? Tony's birthday on Wednesday as well as CB's. Don't forget cards.

Have a bath. Watch a late film until midnight. Davina Sheffield's uncle has died. She is in Kenya with HRH. Or is the mysterious blond Penelope Eastwood? Or Claire Watson? What about Laura Jo Watkins? Even Georgiana Boothby. Certainly not Lady Jane Wellesley.




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Saturday March 12, 1977

Uncle H arrived at the crack of dawn. JPH is with us until this afternoon. (He slept the night in Mama and Papa's room).

Telephone rings: a woman asks me to accept a call and then I hear CB, who says: "you'll never guess where I am." "Where are you", I ask. She says: "St James's Hospital." Yes, she fell flat on her face in the Hare car park last night and smashed her beautiful face on the tarmac. Laugh. She's is bed, or ward 21.

with Tony.

Dave B horribly ill all day - he blames the food last night.

'Priscilla', 'Gregory' and Nora.

with Mum.

Collect dinner suits from Dormie Dress Hire in Leeds. Martyn, Tony and I prowled around Leeds and Tony insulted a female on the mens' toiletries counter at Schofield's. She deserved it. These people who go to work with the attitude that the customer is always wrong need a lesson teaching them.

Went to Tony's at 3 and I slept in a a chair. He was watching a rugby match. Stay to tea and clad ourselves in evening garb.

Tony, Sue Martindale, Martyn, Gayle, Judith and I to Rawdon. Mixed reaction at our mode of dress. The party was a great success. Spend the night calling Judith 'Priscilla' and she called me 'Gregory'. Spent a couple of quid each and got a bit tipsy, but not quite like the other party goers who all look pissed. Maria is wearing fox furs (plus fox head). Chris is there and Dave L. The bar closes at 11pm and the family plus boyfriends and girlfriends go on to the Baker residence, Farthingstone, Old Pool Bank. Audrey Baker resembles the actress Shelley Winters.

Back to Pine Tops very late and don't walk Judith home until 6.30am. Birds singing, &c. And me in full evening dress and a stolen shawl. Yes, quite mad.

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Wednesday March 2, 1977

54F in Leeds today. Is bloody summer here already? I'll be 22 before you can say Takeo Miki. Anyway, it was quite a good day all in all.

At lunchtime I met Martyn at Dormie Dress Hire and we're both togged up for evening wear for David B's 21st. The suits are going to cost us £9.50 each to hire, which neither of us can afford, but it will be so worth it for the laughs we'll get and to see the look on the faces of the other guests. Very smart we'll be. I'm not telling anyone at home so as to enhance my spectacular entry into the Aero Club. Tony is getting his gear from Moss Bros. in Bradford.

Sir Frank, later Lord Marshall.

This evening Sarah and I were closeted together in our tiny lift at the YP with that great personage Sir Frank Marshall. By way of conversation I discussed our air conditioning system with him and he told us that his 'members' had enjoyed their visit too. Who or what are his members? Who, or what is Sir Frank Marshall anyway?

I have a couple of quid left over from last night's extravaganza and am sorely tempted to go out tonight for a drink. Let us pray I can withstand the temptation and may God guide me through this sinful evening.

Later that same night: Slip into a coma in an armchair. Tired and shagged out. When did I last go to bed before bewitching hour? You'll be flicking over the pages for the last couple of years to find the answer to that one. No phone calls and feel too lazy to make any. Must write to Judith and get something sorted for March 12.

Had a bath and returned to the TV. A programme glorifying the comedian Tommy Cooper. Must have my hair cropped tomorrow. I can't even afford to do that! Suicide is the only way out.

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