Saturday January 6, 1979

Epiphany.

The boiler in Lynn's bathroom bangs a good deal.  Up at 11. Ate toast and then went out with Lynn to buy some meat for David's Sunday lunch. All very domesticated. A cold, slushy day.

Back to Lawn Rd for 12:30. We dismantled the Chrirtmas tree. I amused Lynn by deflating the balloons and telling her to save them all until next Christmas.

Dave later went out to see George (Waite) about a coal bunker. Home at 2. At 5 Mum and Dad left for a party at Auntie Mabel's, and then it happened. All Hell was released upon Hawksworth Lane in what is termed 'a three car pile~up'. It was just after 5 when I heard an almighty bang come from the kitchen. I opened the door and in fell Susan Prior, with grit and gravel all over her fur coat. A man with a beard was holding her up. He told me he had bumped into her car and she had smashed into the rear of Peter N's Capri. All three cars were near the top of our drive in a pathetic huddle.

The man with the beard handed Miss Prior a blank sheet of paper and asked her to sign the bottom. Wisely, she refused to do this. She refused to say anything until her boyfriend arrived from playing squash at Headingley. The beard had two girls with him. One became hysterical. She had recently lost a brother in a car accident and insisted on screaming: "Kevin! Kevin!" at the top of her voice. I presumed Kevin to be the unfortunate brother. JPH came into the kitchen and ran around imitating a police car and bursting balloons.

Then, the squash playing boyfriend arrived. His fly was down and his cock clearly exposed. I didn't like to mention this. It poked out for all to see. The gravel filled fur coated Miss Prior had a weep, and the beard wanted her blood and things became very heated. It was like a scene in downtown Teheran. Miss Prior and the indecently exposed boyfriend went outside to her car (where presumably she spotted his exposed genitals), and the beard rang his father who arrived promptly, looking like Jeremy Thorpe in a trilby and dark overcoat. This gent suggested that Miss Prior should be booked for driving without due care and attention. Peter phoned Dad at Auntie Mabel's for some advice. They all converged onto the lane and some haggling took place. Little JPH ate an apple and dashed about between the hagglers. He helped defuse the situation.

Eventually the police were summoned. A constable with black teeth and a flashing blue light arrived half an hour later. He told the beard that he was just as liable as Miss Prior, and told them to exchange addresses for insurance purposes. I thought he might arrest the squash player for indecent exposure, but he can't have noticed the dangling cock.

The girl with the dead brother Kevin became tearful once more. Then a van came to tow away the wrecked vehicles and they all suddenly became very apologetic. It was the closest I have been to ever embracing the lovely Sue Prior (from No. 90, Hawksworth Lane).

Peter took it all marvelously even though his Capri suffered £200 worth of damage. Susan is very good in a crisis.

Jim Nason arrived at 7:30 to inspect the damage before taking Sue, Pete and I to the White Cross. Joined by Chippy, Gus, Johnny, Mick (?), and Dave W {who disappeared after an argument over his charging us all 30p to take us to Burley in Wharfedale}. In fact the language was quite violent and abusive so much so that the landlord asked us to be quiet.

At 10:45 we went by bus to the Flying Pizza at Burley in Wharfedale. The food was hideous. We laughed when Frank asked the waitress for "French fries" and she replied: "don't you mean chips?" Upstairs a sort of discotheque was underway and Josephine and a crowd from the Regent were in. Chippy was being obnoxious. Josephine asked him to "stop fucking swearing". We all followed her into the dance area but the revolting manager with spectacles and Italian features told us to take our drinks back downstairs "because even a blind man can see this area is for dancing only". How very rude. Chippy got into an argument. The manager removed his spectacles and offered to give Chippy a thrashing outside. Johnny and Frank left to go to town. The manager quipped that he didn't cater for homosexuals on his premises. We drank up and left. I gave him (the manager) a naughty wink and blew a provocative kiss. It wasn't well received.

It was raining and we thought of walking to Lynn and Dave's. The lads walked towards Guiseley and me and Sue went to Lawn Road.

-=-

Thursday April 19, 1973

Dad, scraping old paint off one of the doors, awoke me at 11.10. Sadly, I have been very disappointed with Dad lately, and have come to the conclusion that Stalin's Russia can have been no worse than 58, Hawksworth Lane, Guiseley. Rather stupidly, today I made a terrible boob. Yes, I forgot all about Rule 17 Sub-Section 2c, which states quite clearly: "All watching of television is strictly prohibited between the hours of 8am and 6pm." Those contravening this rule are regarded as "moronic, uncultured people". Rule No 3 section 12B states: "Persons at all times must be doing something useful. No rest is tolerated. Lieusure is to be frowned upon." It just so happens that I broke rule 17 Sub Secrion 2c to watch the film version of Noel Coward's "Astonished Heart" at 3pm. On finding me in from the of the tv Dad proceeded to read the Riot Act. The film was also the cause of concern. He regards the works of Noel Coward as upper middle-class propaganda. Had it been the life story of Clement Attlee rule 17 may have been repealed. Not that I would have broken Rule 17 anyway if Clement's life had been placed on film. Anyway, he got his own way and I turned off the television. I continued with Anthony Eden until tea time. Watched Top of the Pops. John decided to come out with me - the first time since January. He wore his bags and my suit jacket. Mum said he looked very unusual dressed up. We went on the 7.30 55 bus. On our arrival June was already inside - she was surprised to see John. She thinks he looks like Michael Stott. Sue B arrived 20 minutes later after jilting poor Keith in Horsforth. She takes an immediate fancy to John. and they discuss the ins and outs of brick-laying and joinering etc. Sue is training to be an architect. Sadly, she accidentally knocked a drink all over a pretty looking Pakistani girl - and embarrassment almost killed her. She left very quickly afterwards. June was mad with her and thinks that John might be offended by Sue's early departure. Ivy thought I was "bonnie" until she laid eyes on John. I am very glad. I don't fancy the prospects of going through life "bonnie." Ivy did go on to say how John and I look so much alike! I would never say that we looked alike, but everyone is entitled to their own opinions. June thought he was sweet. We went out for the 11.10 bus. John went to the chippy. The bus came on time. We kissed goodnight. A very enjoyable evening. --==--