Monday June 26, 1978

Christine phoned and we arranged to go out on Thursday evening. She has definitely set her heart on clearing off to Jersey next year to work in a bar. God knows how life will be without her bringing devastation and chaos to it. I must write to her soon because our correspondence is of vital historical importance. Since 1973 she's sent me over 70 witty, wonderful letters all of which I have stored away. One day we'll be bandied about in English Literature classes and on 'O' Level syllabuses with the likes of John Donne and E.M. Forster.

An Ode to Christine

You have for five years been a source of great joy,
You bring warmth to my heart which none can destroy.

Your virtues are many,
Your faults are quite rare,
But I'd never tell you,
I don't think I'd dare.

It's a pleasure to see you,
Of this I am sure,
My heart beats like fury,
I know of no Cure.

So, off to Jersey and see if I care,
I'd like to come with you,
But I don't have the fare.

M.L.R.

Wednesday October 12, 1977

Dad was on Radio Leeds at 7.45 this morning (live) and throughout the Empire many millions of his followers sat grouped around tiny wireless sets to listen to his words of wisdom. I suppose you could liken him to Neville Chamberlain really.

PC 1656.

I went to Leeds with him and was in the office by 7.20. Bloody hell it was still dark. Mind you, I suppose that is how my forefathers started the working day.

I phoned Mum before lunch and she played a tape recording of dear Papa's speech down the receiver to me. He sounded quite good.

Did nothing but watch television this evening. Saw Penelope Keith and Richard Briers in Part II of 'The Norman Conquests'. Miss Keith ought to be made a Dame at the earliest opportunity because she's of the Edith Evans ilk without a doubt.

Dame Penelope?

To bed after 11 with 'The Count of Monte Cristo'. Dumas is excellent and I think I will have to tackle 'The Three Musketeers' series next. It seems quite ridiculous, doesn't it?

I must keep an eye on The Times and indeed the dear YP for signs of my brilliant letter. I do hope it will be published because they will be among the first organs to complain when Master/Miss Phillips is romping around on Her Majesty's knee without even a humble 'Honourable' prefixed before his/her name.

(By the way - I'm willing to bet you anything that the infant royal baby will be MALE. The last occasion in that august family when the first-born child was a daughter occurred on April 21, 1926, and that child is now the Queen).

-=-

Wednesday May 11, 1977

Don't hear a bloody thing until Mum and Dad come in for lunch at 1.45pm. Sat yawning over a cup of tea and then opened my mail. Two bloody letters. One from Helen Malin which points out I owe her £1 and not vice versa. Oh shit. I said that the royal baby would be born in the spring or summer of '77 and if it arrived any later I would pay up. What a horrific thought. The other is a letter from Kathryn. It is perfection itself and I settle down to reply and before I know where I am it's 4 o'clock and time to go to the dreaded YP.

Diary: red ink works wonders

Charged down the lane and got at bus. At the office for 5. I made enquiries about coaches for Saturday returning Sunday. Peter Mather amazes me __________.

Work was busy and tiresome. Ursula is very nice to work with. I do believe I experienced an erotic dream about her the other night. Of all people. I must be daft or something. How do you like my change of handwriting? Mrs Monkman, who left number 60 yesterday, gave me the pen. I do believe her brother sent it to her from Japan. One would have thought that the Japs would have caught onto the biro by now. I still think this nice red hue works wonders. Blue ink became so depressing.

The taxi driver tonight was no leading authority in any field. If he was he didn't bring it into the conversation.

-=-

Wednesday May 19, 1976

Mum and Dad are purposely refraining from letting me know just where they are going at the weekend so that I will not make arrangements for the usual orgy. However, I am gambling that Saturday morning will see their departure north, south, east or west. They know full well that I will have a 'party'.

All Carole's letters to me are now destroyed. She sent me yet another one today vowing the usual things - eternal love, devotion, &c. I find it nauseating to say the least and will prove this by burning every item of her correspondence. Never before have I thrown letters away. June's are still intact, and of course CB's are piled up in bundles. Carole's are nothing but paper to me. The words are uninteresting and strangely false, as though she's copied the lot from a sickly, grotesque romantic novel. I would never have read them again.

-==-

Monday November 19, 1973

I reluctanlty march into the office thinking that the death of Sir Gerald Nabarro would be dominating the YP. Strangely enough, the power crisis is the main news of the day. What a relief. I can stand many sights the first thing on a morning but the pompous face of NAB isn't one of them.

I answer the phone and speakl to the editor of Tatler, Peter Townsend, who is looking for a photograph. I am unable to help him. Also, after lunch, the new girl, Anne, arrives. Very ugly but sweet. The Lord Mayor of Leeds calls in to see us whilst Miss Went is at lunch - his worship leaves by the back as she enters from the front. She was livid as missing such a distinguished character. He seemed a very likeable chap.

I think I can feel a cold coming on. My nose is running continuously. Exhausting Mum's handkerchief supply.

--==--

Letter from Christine Braithwaite

Benton Park Grammar School,
Harrogate Road,
Rawdon

19th November, 1973

Rawdon 2330

Dear Michael

We are writing to invite you to the Christmas Party, which will be held in the Sixth Form Block on Wednesday, 19th December, 1973, beginning at 8:00pm. Price of admission will be 20p, payable at the door.

If you wish to bring a friend, please could you send us their name and address, and when you arrive at the party, we would be grateful if you would introduce them to Mr Grove.

If you would like to come could you write back as soon as possible, so that we can anticipate numbers.

As last year, drinking will not be allowed before or during the party.

Hoping you will accept this invitation,

Yours sincerely,

Christine Braithwaite

Chairman, Sixth Form Committee

-=-

Friday October 26, 1973

(Cartoon drawing of the Prime Minister, the Rt Hon Edward Heath).

Letter from Christine Braithwaite {postmark October 26, 1973)

"Glenview"
76, New Road Side
Horsforth Leeds
LS18 4NG
(Don't forget the postcode)

Dear Mig, Mig (sorry, it's catching)

Well, thatnks for your creative letter! ( What were you trying to say anyway?) Glynis (sorry about the change in pen but I've left my other one at school) has got the photos and although they are bit dull they've come out all right (and the photos ~ at least someone appreciates humour). So, Helen's getting the negatives developed, or photos taken from the negatives, or something like that.

Well, what's all this about David not liking my letter? I was only being my usual dirty self! Has he changed all that much? I pity him if he has - he won't be able to have so many laughs with me if he has! But no, I'm getting nasty now, and David's not a person you can be mad with!

What are all these shady goings on at Worcester then? David hasn't told me. I got a letter from him on Tuesday and, despite all, it was a very nice letter.

How are you going on in your job? You know you must be cracked writing letters like that - mind you, I don't mind. Nice to have something to cheer you up! Today I discovered that I'd won the prize for English and can have a book of my choice, up to £2 (I knew there was a catch!).

I thought of ordering a year's supply of Mayfair or Playboy in Mr Ayling's name, but then I thought - NO. (My thoughts aren't very big ones - Oh!)

Anyway, do you like your job? There's nothing been happening here at school. No tears .... yet! Glynis and Helen keep asking me if I've seen you yet, and I say no, and they ask how you are getting on (could be a leading question) and I say I don't know, and it carries on like this.

Me and MM have thought up the first two lines of a verse but are now stuck, so would you help us out?

"Braithwaite, Braithwaite was up on a rape case,
she pleaded her innocence quite clearly"

And we're stuck here, so can you write back and send us the end (of the poem too!)

Just going to have a bath. I'm back now, all fresh. Anyway, what are the arrangements for your party? What time do we have to be there, or are we all meeting somewhere?

Anyway ~ God, I do say "anyway" a lot, don't I? Anyway, write back and tell me.

Anyway, is there anybody you fancy at the Yorkshire Post? There's a rumour that they are now going out of production. Is that true? And if not, why not?

Well, will have to dash to catch the post. Actually, I'm not trying to catch the post at all, because I've only got my nightie on and if you refer back to chapter 2 you'll find out that I've just got out of the bath - that's why.

Bye for now

All my Love

Christine xx

PS Write back soon, and don't forget "put a towel between you and the bottom sheet"

-=-





--==--

Saturday October 13, 1973

Get up after 10 o'clock. Mother is complaining about the dilapidated condition of the bathroom - so without further pressure being placed upon us - John and I go up and begin decorating. We rub all the gloss paing from the walls, but when Dad comes home we all decide that perhaps the bathroom needs tiling and not painting. Mother also wants a shower fitted.

Mick Knowles and Lynne were married this morning. Christine was a bridesmaid.

Later. Chris rings. I tell him to go to Christine W's house at Yeadon for 8.30. John and I are with her at 8.15. Andy, Chris and Marita____arrive at 8.30. At 8.45 Marita, Chris, John and Christine W, leave for an unknown destination. _____.Andy and I go to the Emmotts where we meet Philip Cartwright, Ray, Steve Cottle, etc. We pile into cars and go to Bramhope, then to the pub where Brian and Valerie had their wedding reception in July. Sit joking and drinking until 11.10. Steve gives me a lift as far as Guiseley Swimming Baths. I walk home. Unknown to me Marita passes me in the other direction on Park Rd. On arrival home John says the 'foursome' had a good time at the Fox and Hounds in Menston.__________.

Later. See a good Cary Grant film. Bed at 1.40. What a fantastic evening we've had for a change. Andy and I may be going swimming at Guiseley baths tomorrow.

--==--

Letter from Christine Braithwaite {Postmark Oct 13, 1973}

Glenview
76, New Road Side
Horsforth
Leeds

Dear Mig,
Thanks for your letter. I only got it this morning - and the letter. Sorry about paper, but I didn't bring any proper notepaper with me. MM's sat writing to David and I'm supposed to be writing an essay, but I can't be bothered so I'll have to make yet another excuse. Well, I found your letter very exhilarating! In fact, it lifted me out of my hum-drum, kitchen-sink drama situation which I appear to be in. (Sorry, I'm in one of those moods ~ Oh!). Your diagrams were exceptionally explanatory, and your rules for terminating consumption of oil were ... dare I say it ...yes, I dare ....  were.....O.K!

There is one point I wish to elaborate on....
I WANT AN UMBRELLA FOR CHRISTMAS! I an cold, wet and hungry because I have been disarmed  of my brolly. Just cut along the dotted line and send a £1 note (no coins please) to the following address: "Glenview, 76, New Road Side, Horsforth, Leeds. <------- ..............="" cur="" here="" nbsp="">

However good your bargain for £89 may sound, I want a brolly!

Michael L. Rhodes I wish to present you with a writ demanding you to appear in court, on the morning of December 17. I am acting on behalf of a certain Miss C. Braithwaite, who is prosecuting you for liable (sic), insisting that, in one of your communcates (sic) to her you said, quote "have you given up the drink?" How could you say such a thing? How could you be so callous? How could you?

Philip and I (sorry, your Majesty) go out only on Fridays and Saturdays now, to try and save some money. We haven't been to the Queen's for ages. We might go down this Saturday though! On Saturday we're going into Leeds, and we might get the ring, I see one I like. We'll probably be getting engaged on December 29 (Saturday), which is the weekend between Christmas  and New Year! But we're not sure yet. When are you getting yourself hitched up then? June was up at school the other day, but she didn't stay long. Your poem referring to Irene (MacMahon\) and Andy Maud (that's the poor fools name!) was stupendous! A copy is contained herewith and within.

Some sad news Mig, please ....... whatever you are doing - stop it, your dirty beggar!....  No please sit down..... I have something to tell you .....are you ready? The Cow and Calf has closed! Arghh! It's now Samantha's and anyone who gets drunk is thrown out! I think the whole thing is positively disgusting - they should have asked us first. No, in fact, it was a bit of a dump, we only went so that we could get drunk - still memories will be nice - and of the Cow and Calf.

Well, must go now - got a lesson - write soon, and don't forget that £1 for my brolly!

Love

Christine (Your Honourable Madame Chairman)

-=-