Thursday June 16, 1977

Out with Carole, Naomi and Martyn tonight. Yes, a weird combination of loonies but if you don't do silly things like this when you're young it will soon be time to grow up. I am cheerful and robust all day and look forward to the night on the town - determined not to squabble with Miss Phillips or mention Fogarty.

Carole: called me 'Peter'

Naomi and Carole called for me at 8.20 and we drove over the moor to Ilkley to collect Mr Cole. Some idiots were hang-gliding near the Cow & Calf rocks and I opened the car window and waved and shouted at them much to Naomi's amusement. Carole was quiet. She didn't look at me after leaving home. Even when I came out of the house and got in the car she was sitting hunched and looking in the opposite direction.

The four of us went to Neville's. Carole immediately got off to a lousy start. On to the Craven Heifer. Sat like morons. She infuriates me by repeatedly asking: "what's the matter?" And I infuriate her by replying: "what do you mean by what's the matter?" Silly, eh? Naomi too isn't all that better - sitting like a High Court judge - a real bundle of fun.

From the Craven Heifer it was obvious that if Naomi were to go to Oakwood Hall the strain would probably kill her and so it was back to Martyn's for coffee (his mama and papa are holidaying).

We summoned a priest to administer the last rites to Naomi but he arrived too late. Carole spilt hot coffee all over her foliage (sic) and I gave up my shirt for her and wore one of Martyn's. We both had a gin and attempted some conversation. I was so glad that Martyn was in the room to hear it because I thought it was me who was going insane. We are just incompatible. Every sentence ends in a dispute. Carole asks: "Michael, why do we hate each other so much?" I don't hate her one bit. She just cannot be happy with me. Sipping the gin she called me 'Peter'. Martyn found this hilarious and kept mentioning the weather saying we might be having a 'foggy' start in the morning. (You know, FOGarty. Ha Ha).

The girls went home at 12.30 and Martyn and I went on to Il Trovarore which lived up to its usual standard. Back to Martyn's £3 later. Slept in the spare room - soundly.

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Saturday June 11, 1977

Thunder, lightning, rain, hail - the bloody lot is brought down upon us. They do say that only people of lower intelligence allow the weather to depress them but today cannot have any other effect.

Princess Alice.

It was out of bed quite early to view the Trooping the Colour on tv. The crowds in the Mall look to have been static since Tuesday's jubilee and even the rain could not dampen the singing and the cheers of loyalty. Saw the RAF fly-past at 1pm. Princess Alice, Countess of Athlone was on the balcony. When Martyn came up at 1.30 we worked it out that the princess will be the oldest ever living member of the British royal family on July 15.

John comes up in his work gear this afternoon and within minutes he's changed into some of my clothes and we go - the three of us - to the Station on Henshaw Lane. He says Maria is entertaining Carole and Peter (Fogarty). I could have fallen through the bloody chair. John assumed that she had told me the full details of her 'other' arrangements and he showed surprise that Carole was out with me last night because Friday is Fogarty night. So too is Saturday and no doubt every other night except Thursday. I bet she was out with him until 11.30 last night then out with me until 2! God. I suppose I have nothing to be mad about. She hasn't lied, but I have been deceived. It's only a matter of weeks since she sat and laughed and said she did not believe in 'two timing' and believed in being utterly faithful. This little revelation just goes to show what shit she hurls at Tony - and he believes everything she says. John says Carole is the biggest liar he has ever met and he's always held this opinion.

Martyn stays to tea and we don't go out until 9.45 and watched tv with Susan and Peter until this disgustingly late hour. The four of us went to the Malt Shovel in Menston and then back home for more television - three of them with Chinese food and me with fish and chips.

Monday May 2, 1977

Bank Holiday in Scotland. Had a telephone call this morning from Miss Carole Phillips who demanded, nay commanded me to take her out for a drink this evening. She said that a year ago - to the very day - I had promised to go out with her whenever she wished. Just a social, friendly ale or two - not 'going out' in the context which you may be thinking. She was at Maria's and at first I said I'd go down to tea and then ten minutes later I phoned back to say I'd be at Ridgeway to collect her at 7.30. I arrived a few minutes late with a bag of vegetables for John's pets with very mixed feelings about this whole escapade. Blimey, isn't she supposed to be engaged to Peter Fogarty? She looks very attractive and ravishing. I am reminded about what Jimmy (Macdonald) and I were discussing on New Year's Day after my thirtieth gin and tonic.

Shoulder of Mutton

We had no idea where to go. I suggested Otley, but we finally decided on the Shoulder of Mutton on Hollins Hill. It is out of the way and we are free from being recognised. We caught a bus and laughed and chatted as though no break had ever taken place. In the pub I put to her the question of her so-called engagement because she was wearing no ring, and I was immediately answered. They bought a ring on Saturday and by the following afternoon Fogarty had decided he had no desire to settle down and called off the whole charade. She told me it had been Fogarty who had pushed for it and wanted to be serious. She had done nothing but cry for three or four days and it had been Maria who had suggested ringing me, as a last resort.

You must be aware that Carole and I are in no way forming an alliance of the nature of which I terminated one year ago - it was just a very friendly 'good deed'. We discussed old times and became quite rowdy. I told her: "Carole, you certainly know how to pick 'em." Then paused because I realised she'd picked me. I felt slightly sick after only three drinks and we walked outside and up Hollins Hill and back to the Macdonald residence. When people had told me how much Carole had matured and 'grown up' I didn't ever answer. I wanted to reach a decision myself. I do not think she has matured one bit since last May. Very sweet, but still the dotty, mixed up kid. I said I was sorry for what I had done to her and she said she didn't hold me responsible. She did say I had ignored her on many occasions, whilst I have always accused her of ignoring me. Funny, isn't it? Went back for a coffee and we parted at 11.30. Left very friendly and said 'let's do it again, sometime?' She said she wanted to be my friend and said it was about time she pulled herself together. It was so nice just to talk to her.
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Tuesday April 26, 1977

The great battle with Kathleen never took place. She came in at 9 o'clock and did a Neville Chamberlain on me. In other words she appeased me and for a few minutes I was astounded. "Before you have chance to say no and refuse me" she said "I'm not going to ask you to work Friday nights". That's my little problem solved.

Carol: like Princess Alexandra of Kent

Sarah demanded some action on Carol's behaviour but Kathleen pointed out that the editor and other great officers of state would be on C's side. Allies as it were. Carol came in the office and paraded about as though she was Princess Alexandra of Kent. Sickening it all was, and Sarah looked piteously dejected when we left this evening. We talked of resigning.

At tea time I asked Susan whether Miss Phillips and Mr Fogarty were becoming engaged today. She says that they entered into a matrimonial agreement on Saturday. Minutes later Tony rang and he mentioned Carole. He rang her today and she told him she 'wasn't really bothered' about being engaged and it had been Peter (Fogarty) who had pushed all the way. Does the girl realise just what she is doing? I never intended leading her on but she is now actually engaged to a poor soul with whom she feels nothing but indifference. Martyn has said she is doing all this to spite me and my reaction was that it was a far fetched suggestion but now I'm not too sure. Lynn plays hell about Carole when I tell her of the conversation and she says Carole's attitude is 'immature'.

It pissed down all morning and blinded us with bright sun in the afternoon. I think I'm very tired. My eyes ache and I feel unpleasant too. I don't think I can put up with the strain much longer.

I just sat in front of the television and watched another play. The nine o'clock news boring as usual with the same old story about the 'stricken oil rig'. One oil rig is very much like another. Pleasant sort of person aren't I? Retired to bed at 11 after a bath. Sat with Queen Victoria and the Princess Royal, or Crown Princess of Prussia, or the Empress Frederick or whatever you call her.

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Wednesday April 20, 1977

Obtained a signed copy of 'Majesty' by Robert Lacey this afternoon. Lacey was at a YP Literary Lunch with Harold Macmillan and others and Carol managed to lay hold of a copy for me. 'To Michael In This Her Majesty's Jubilee Year' it says. Read about 80 pages before embarking for the Hare & Hounds tonight and really enjoyed it. Of course I recognised many of the quotations because I've read virtually everything on the Royal House of Windsor and I am a leading authority on Her Majesty (Yes, he's showing off again).

Peter N drove me to the pub and we had a couple of drinks together. Judith was in with Kathyrn Ann Young (I have confirmed the spelling) and a Highroyds Hospital psychiatrist is making them laugh hysterically. Peter left after after a couple of lagers and Judith and Kathryn joined me at the bar. Guinness, Pernod, Tequila, &c. I even knocked a pernod and orange clean off the bar. Heart-broken I was. John came in with Jimmy Macdonald and Fogarty. _______. Back to Judith's until 1am. I was a bit pissed.

Home to bed with 'Majesty' and read as far as King Edward VIII and his brief reign. Yes, even in a state of intoxication I can open a volume of a serious nature and pass a pleasant half hour. You are indeed looking at the diary of brilliant scholar, can't pass exams, but brilliant all the same.

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Thursday March 10, 1977

Half dead all day after the excesses of last night. Buggered is the word.

News: Gough Whitlam said some ill mannered things about the Queen at a banquet in her honour. What can we expect from the Aussies? Culture? Manners? Prince Edward is a teenager. President Carter has been making strange phone calls to lots of weird people in America.

To Batley Variety Club with Tony and Martyn. Madeline Bell sang. Absolutely brilliant. Why she hasn't been more of a success I will never know. Blue Mink, the group with whom she was the singer, were good in their day but she's a star in her own right. She has a good sense of humour too. I only spent 60p or so. Yes, it was one of my first attempts to 'pull in' as Denis Healey would say.

Tony says I've become subdued over the past couple of weeks. Why? He tells me that Carole and Fogarty are not contemplating an engagement. _____propaganda machine must be failing, eh? It's Tony's birthday next Wednesday and he's taking Martyn and Carole to Batley. I'd like to go but with £3 left it's impossible. Besides, with Miss P attending I'd only spoil things.

Thank God no work tomorrow. I feel as though I've been slaving away non stop for weeks on end. Should I perhaps change my job? I do need the cash desperately  but I'd miss the mob at the YP and the dear old news cuttings.

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Friday February 18, 1977

If you could see me now you'd say I didn't have all that long left to live. In fact, at this moment, I closely resemble the Rt. Hon. Charles Anthony Raven Crosland, Secretary of State for Foreign & Commonwealth Affairs. Pneumonia may well have set in. However, at great personal loss and danger I struggled into the offices of the Yorkshire Post and did a fair days work.

Home by 5pm. Have a sirloin steak with Lynn. We had a good chat too.  Oh she is so like her big brother. Mum and Dad were at Marlene's for tea and Sue was at the hairdressers until 7pm.

Oakwood Hall.

Martyn came here at 8.15 and Tony at 8.30. Down to the Hare & Hounds to see Judith. CB (who rang me this morning) comes down to the Hare and reminds me about her 21st birthday party on March 11. Andy and Linda, Chris and Pete M are in too. To the Shoulder of Mutton on Hollins Hill. It's a strange pub. We move on to Bingley after one pint. On to good old Oakwood Hall. When I say 'good old' Oakwood Hall I don't actually mean it. In fact it was 'bloody lousy' Oakwood Hall. Martyn was on good form, Tony was fed up. I was miserable - probably because I've over done it a bit lately, I don't know. Home at 2am. Discuss tomorrow. Definately no discotheque. I'm helping Tony move to Ilkley so we may well end up in the flat - an orgy of merriment and piss. (By piss, I mean booze of course. I'm not addicted to urine like Mr Hitler was).

Note: where's Miss Phillips been of late? Her Royal Highness must surely be 'Fogartising' even though rumour has it that they've finished. I have her new phone number but I don't want to use it. When I see her I really enjoy it, but I don't want to do so by appointment.

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Wednesday December 1, 1976

OK, say I'm like Greta Garbo if you like. I don't care. Is it some sort of passion which is clouding and confusing my mind? I finished with Carole on May 3 after we'd been through a bad patch. OK that's a fact, but why have I felt so insecure since? ___________________. Understand me now when I say I am a thorough swine for doing what I did to her. Do you realise the agony? Is it agony? Pride is what I think it is. I would have gone back out with her months ago if it hadn't have been for what people might have said. Admittedly, in Apr-May she was becoming too serious - but did I really have to be so drastic? My life is in torment now and I'm just too bewildered to know how to get out of it._____. Carole is going out with [Peter] Fogarty and I'm 'going out' with Lynne and everything is stale. It is the fact that I am even doubting my own mind that worries me. I always felt good with Carole and as I've often said before Lynne ___________. I'm saying no more on the subject now. I just feel sad and lonely and can only blame myself for the state of things.

Sue & Lynn at Pine Tops

[Come off it, Michael. Is this the seven month itch?]

Meanwhile, back to reality. A freezing day. The coldest since last winter, I think. Kathleen is off with her pneumonia & so I have a good day at the YP. Kathleen is such a fuss. I always get things done much quicker when she is incapacitated.

Home at 6 o'clock. Late because I worked until 5 due to Mrs Johnson's appointment with her doctor. Idle gossips are muttering things about ____________________.

Mum and Dad go to John & Maria's at 8.30 ad I sit alone watching 'I, Claudius' on BBC2. An excellent serial indeed, as I've said before. Retire to bed at 12.30 still feeling decidedly odd on the matter of Miss Phillips. For some terrible reason I was on the verge of telephoning her at work today in order to secure her person for a drink or two and chat by way of a belated birthday present. Why do I want to do this after seven months? _____________.

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Thursday November 25, 1976

Thanksgiving Day U.S.A. Busy at work again. Kathleen's 33rd birthday - what a horrible feeling that must be. Meet Dave B at the Ostlers for lunch and consume three pints of lager. He and Lynn are going to Alison's for the weekend and he tells me that the two of them are going away on holiday - in Britain - next summer. Is it wedding bells?

Lynne comes at 8 o'clock. She's getting on my bloody nerves lately and I feel that she's taking the piss all the time. She makes it obvious that she looks down on my family. Sneering at Lynn and laughing at Mum. She's forever criticising people and saying they are 'old fashioned' when she's just as bloody bad, if not worse. I can't stand much more of it. You may well be reading the diary of a single man by the New Year. Sorry about all this antagonistic chatter.

Down to the Hare & Hounds from 8.30 until 10 o'clock. Carole is in with [Peter] Fogarty and Lynne looks me straight in the eyes and says: "One day you two will get back together." I didn't bat an eye-lid.

Home at 11 and Lynne disappears over the horizon and God knows when I'll see her again.

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