Saturday August 13, 1977

Yes, I definitely feel quite good about Mary. In fact I haven't had such a good time for a very long time. Out to Baildon again tonight with Tony and Martyn but don't see any crumpet worth collecting for yet another Brotherwood party. Moved on to Hare & Hounds at Heaton where we met Wendy and Anne and a couple of anonymous ladies from Smith's. Wendy is the perfect Hylda Baker. John Grady should have been here to see her.

The Sand Dance...

Returned to Ilkley with the anonymous shop assistants. A successful party. I drink Pernod & orange. Joke all night with the girls. I taught them the Egyptian sand-dance, immortalised by Wilson, Keppel and Betty in the 1940s. At about 6 Wendy, Anne, the two shop assistants, Martyn and I got into Tony's bed. He was shouting about something and banging around in the flat whilst the ladies removed me from my jeans, or in the words of Wendy, my 'clouts'. It must have been about 6.30am.





-=-

Friday August 12, 1977

A good day. Eileen and I met Tony outside the YP at about 1pm and we had three or four drinks in the Central. Tony came back to the YP for the afternoon and had Carol J swooning all over him. In fact she did no work from when he arrived, sat, quite besotted, on her desk, with her legs rubbing up against his. It was bloody painful. Eileen was becoming quite violent about it and if I hadn't made the tea a full scale war could easily have broken out. Tony went off to a dental appointment at about 4. ________.

Tonight: Tony, Martyn and Stuart came up at 8.30 followed by Peter M and Chris. Sue, Pete N and Janet Simon joined us and we went to the Bod. Michelle, Toni and a girl called Mary came in. Mary was so fanciable you just wouldn't believe it. She was quite tanked up.

From the Bod most of us went to Il Trovatore. I was with Mary all night and it proved to be one of the most successful in ages. We got on like a house on fire. The only thing is that she has a ruddy boyfriend stashed away somewhere.  So attractive too. I told her she looked like the singer Dana, but she said Vera Lynn was closer to the mark.

Back to Tony's at 2am, and the ladies brought me home at something like 4 o'clock. A diabolical time. Don't know what sort of reception I'll get if I see Mary again but one thing's for sure folks - Michael's in love again.



-=-

Thursday August 11, 1977

A hot day. Sat in the garden with Mum and Susan until lunchtime and had the occasional lager. Just like been on holiday again. The temperature was in the 70s when I set off to Leeds at 4pm and if there's anything I feel least like doing on a hot, summers afternoon, it's work. However, it's inevitable for plebeians such as I.

Just me and Wendy at the YP until I left at 11.

Grouse: family reunion?

Hundreds of thousands of grouse will be having family reunions in the moorland heather tonight no doubt reminiscing on past escapades together and chanting the occasional prayer. Some of them will weep, or at least do the grouse equivalent, which is, I think, when they bash their wings together whilst frantically squeaking. Yes, tomorrow is the Glorious Twelfth.

Home in a taxi with a witty driver who, on parting,  bid me "Goodnight and God Bless". Who the hell does he think he is? The Pope I suppose.

Made a couple of salad sandwiches and retired to my chamber not particularly knackered. I've been a good deal worse.





-=-

Wednesday August 10, 1977

Felt quite rough this morning. Attempting to solve the problems of the world until 2am isn't quite on when you have to get out of bed and go to work within a few hours. At least members of Parliament can stagger to the Carlton Club following all-night sittings and spend a few days in bed with a bottle of gin and an ambitious chamber maid who fancies a yacht in Ibiza and a life peerage. Am I right? No, Michael, you're not right.

Carlton Club.

Uneventful day at the YP. But never fear, dear reader. If something of earth shattering importance had taken place I would not have hesitated, or forgotten, to record it here. Blimey, you can rely on me to keep you informed hot off the press.







-=-

Tuesday August 9, 1977

Happy Birthday Miss Jacqueline Myers - my dearest and sexiest cousin. 21 today.

Malt Shovel, Baildon (c) itsart.co.uk

Out tonight to the Malt Shovel at Baildon which was packed out with crumpet galore. Who'd have thought that women would go to all that trouble to get themselves tarted up and actually go out on a Tuesday evening? It never would have happened at one time. Tonight the place was seething with them.

Back at Pine Tops Tony and I 'argued' with Dad on such controversial subjects as his Late Holiness Sir Winston Churchill and the National Union of Mineworkers. ________________.


-=-

Monday August 8, 1977

Her Majesty The Queen goes to Ulster this week. The bravery of this Most Gracious Lady knows no bounds. (Excuse this pen and because of it, the handwriting). Thoughts of her personal safety are cast aside and she will walk in the land - her Kingdom no less - in which many evil people seek to see her destroyed. ________.











-=-

Sunday August 7, 1977

9th after Trinity. No hangover or ill effects. Phil looks diabolical but the rest seem to be fine. John G is a bundle of joy even first thing on a morning - it's quite amazing.

Chris & Steve.

We went to the Commercial at 12. (Martyn, Tony, Sue, Pete N, Pete M, John G, Steve, Phil, Charlie and me that is). Joined by Mum and Dad at 1pm and we all sat outside until 2. Poor Chris arrived at about five minutes to closing time just as Martyn was driving Tony home __________.

Everyone back to Pine Tops for luncheon and Edith & Ernest came round afterwards and we all played twenty questions and drank lager and made merry. The lads from Lancashire had a marvellous time. They kept saying what fantastic people Mum & Dad are. _________.

To the Bod tonight and the lads set off back home at about 10. It's gone very quiet now without John Grady's constant joking. Tony had a good time chatting with Wendy and Anne. We took the girls home at 10.30 Wendy travelling on my knee in the front seat. Quite a laugh. In fact the whole weekend has been a riot. Can hardly wait to get a Rawtenstall trip arranged so that once again we can hear the pub ring to the sound Hylda Baker, Shirley Bassey and Diana Ross.

-=-

Saturday August 6, 1977

Sue, Pete and I went to Ilkley at lunchtime. Linda W was busy making sausage rolls and Tony was out shopping. Peter just stood with his eyes glued firmly to the Rose & Crown across the road, and it was a very tempting sight. On Tony's return he suggested we go over the road 'for a few'. Peter's dream was fulfilled.

Peter M & John Grady.

Three pints and several Max Miller jokes later we were back at the flat cleaning away months of filth and devastation. Spent £11 at Hillard's on booze, would you believe. Tony had 'words' with Linda just before she left after preparing the food. It all started when she said "I'm not coming if Denise is". __________.

Andy and Linda: married Aug 6 1977.

Home by tea time. I have a message from John Grady in Rawtenstall. He and Steve want to come over for the night - is it all right? Oh My God it's bloody perfect. I waited at home for them to arrive. Mum and Dad went out for dinner and Sue and Pete went on to Ilkley. The lads arrived at about 9.30 with Phil and Charlie - a couple of friends and the 5 of us went to the Crescent and on to the Rose & Crown before going to the party. All a bit pissed. Mum and Dad came to the flat and stayed for quite a while. They were laughing with John, who is riotous. Denise arrived and left at about 2.30 with Ron. ____________.The festivities went on until about 6.30am.









-=-

Friday August 5, 1977

Out of bed at 9.30. Quite a pleasant looking morning for a change. Tony came at 10.30 and took me to Pudsey before driving off for Huddersfield, or somewhere. By 11am I'm at Auntie Mabel's with coffee and her home made ginger buns. Marlene, Mark & Debbie are visiting too. They talk about _____________.

Dave, Lynn, Alison Dixon and John Pinder

The five of us had a good lunch and Marlene left with the children at about 2. I sat with Auntie until 6. We laughed at her old photos and strangely enough some of the funniest are the most recent. The fashions at cousin Derek's wedding were amazing, and it's only five years ago.

Auntie says she goes to Rawdon Crematorium some days just to walk in the gardens and look at the book of remembrance.

I'm home at 7 just in time to see Lynn and Dave set off for Winchester and subsequently Italy. I felt quite envious as they set off down the lane all beaming with excitement.

Chris and Peter M come with the holiday photographs and they are bloody fantastic. Joined by Tony and Martyn and John. We all went to the Bod leaving John with Mum & Dad. A good night in Bradford, going on to Heaton's Hare & Hounds. Tony's party tomorrow. Sue, Pete and I are going down to the flat to help him prepare.


-=-

Thursday August 4, 1977

The great Queen Mum is 77 today. Saw the usual TV news of the crowd singing "Happy Birthday to You" outside Clarence House. Marvellous she is.

The Queen Mum.

A good night out in Baildon with Martyn and Tony. All in high spirits. The females in the pub were numerous. We named a few of them after famous celebrities of similar appearance. One in the corner was Liz Taylor, Janette Scott was drinking something like lemonade, and a sexy young thing near the juke box who brushed past me several times was Brigitte Bardot.

Tony was out with Denise last night. He stayed the night at Naomi's. He beamed all evening like a young boy. __________. Martyn is still smoking Tony's cigarettes. He's getting through 40 a day but hasn't bought a packet yet. (Just a joke). Home at about 11. A bit pissed.

-=-

Wednesday August 3, 1977

Dave Glynn's 23rd birthday. I must give him a buzz to organise the holiday reunion party. We can't lose contact with dear John, Steve and Noel. Stayed in bed until after 9 o'clock. After all, I didn't get in until 5.30. I cannot be expected to have a mere two hours sleep and then roll into the office. I phoned Sarah to break the news of my absence and she was quite chirpy and nice. "I hope you'll soon be better" she chirped.

Lady Sarah Spencer: no beauty.

Frank Perfect, the husband of the sweet, little old lady from Westgate, Tranmere Park, who befriended me in my newspaper delivery days, is dead. I haven't seen either of them for two or three years, but they took a real shine to me and always made me feel welcome. He was only 62. He was the general factory manager of J.I. Case Co Ltd, manufacturers of construction equipment, and in charge of their Leeds plant since 1964. Perhaps I should send Mrs P a letter or something.

The Prince of Wales Romance Stakes are opening again. We now have three candidates in the running (according to the beloved Press). They are: Davina Sheffield, Princess Marie-Astrid and the Lady Elizabeth Sarah Lavinia Spencer. Lady Sarah is a daughter of the 8th Earl Spencer and is step-daughter of Raine, Countess Spencer, who was previously Lady Dartmouth. Her ancestors include at least three dukes, Marlborough, Abercorn and Bedford, and the Earls of Lucan crop up once or twice in her lineage. However, she is no beauty. After the gorgeous Davina Sheffield I'm afraid it's all down hill as far as I'm concerned. I just don't know what HRH must be thinking. A big, stately home in Kent standing empty (Chevening), just waiting for the feminine touch of some willowy princess, but he's making no attempt to provide the nation with one. The Duke of Edinburgh once made a speech about 'pulling the finger out', well I think he should get onto his eldest son.

-=-

Tuesday August 2, 1977

Mum and Dad went to Pamela Nason's 21st (birthday party) with Susan and Peter and I sat at home, quite alone, watching the television. Had a bath at 9 and seriously thought of retiring to bed afterwards, but no. Dave B came up at 10 and dragged me off to the Hare to have a drink with John. I dressed like a madman and we sped down to Menston.

Judith.

John looked pale. He left at about 10.45. Judith was in - looking slender with her hair all curls. Lynn was working, and when the pub was cleared Tim (the manager) bought us a drink. Lynn and David brought Judith, Kathryn and I home for home-brewed beer. We all became a little intoxicated, and when Mum and Dad came in at 2am they said the Nason party was still underway at the Nason residence. An old glint came in my eye and Judith, very like-minded, realised immediately what the outcome would be. 'Let's go down for a few', says I. Lynn escaped to bed. David went home and Kathryn exclaimed: 'it's out of the question'. So just Judith and I went down to Filedhead Road until 5am. ___________. Judith and I sat on the floor drinking gin and tonic and a bottle of Dad's home brew. We didn't say much. Just watched the others. It can be really entertaining at a party wondering just who is related to the woman in the lurex blouse, &c.


-=-

Monday August 1, 1977

Bank Holiday in Scotland and Irish Republic. Went to the Leeds Greyhound Stadium tonight with David L, MM and Marita. We didn't do too bad and after a couple of hours good fun we left with virtually the same amount of money that we started with. Nice to be out with David again. __________.

To the dogs ..

Following our moderate success at the dogs we went and spent our winnings in some distant, nameless ale-house. Ate pork pies and mushy peas by the plateful. Hardly the sort of nourishment for weight-watchers eh? Home at approx. eleven.

-=-

Sunday July 31, 1977

Delia Collis.

8th after Trinity. Luncheon party at Sarah's. I went at about 1 o'clock. A hot afternoon with wine, and plenty of it. Delia's food was wonderful as usual. Haddock flan, pizza pie, salmon mousse, cheesecake, &c. Delia is a marvellous woman. She knows I'm a good friend to Sarah. She says we have so much in common. I have always thought so. Sarah must think the same. Saw the new shih tzu dog, Sophie. Delia had wanted to call it Daisy May.

Went for a dip in Richard's swimming pool next door and John MacMurray ferried me to the YP at 5. Coming home the taxi was late. Didn't get in until nearly 1am.

-=-

Saturday July 30, 1977

Tony, Lynn and me went shopping to Bradford this afternoon. She bought a sexy nightie to take on holiday next week. Tony picked it for her of course. It's a flimsy, sideless, frontless object that I'm sure would make even the plainest female look like Dana Gillespie.

The lovely Dana Gillespie.

'I remember Yesterday'

Ate mussels from the fish market and fish and chips too. Went to Smith's and bought the Donna Summer LP 'I Remember Yesterday' on some sort of Smith's account where you don't actually pay for it.

Tony left at about 5 after having a coffee at our place. He phoned at 6. He is constantly being sick and his head is terrible. He goes off to ring the doctor and rang back at 7 and said 'you're too late for visiting time'. Eh? Yep, he's in Ilkley Hospital. It could be his appendix, or something completely different. Poor old Tony.

Sue and Pete and I went to Martyn's at 8.30 and on to the newly done-up Cow & Calf pub which isn't all that good. I'm in no mood for drinking tonight. On to the Rose and Crown where we broke the news of Tony's illness to Linda. She was quite taken aback and went into a bit of a flap.

At 10.30, even before closing time, we went back to the Cole residence to see two horrific films. Perhaps I should have said horror films, but that is just what they were not. Horrific is more apt. I fell asleep in the armchair much to amusement of the others.

-=-

Friday July 29, 1977

Went to Harrogate with Tony and Martyn. At the Harrogate Arms we were joined by Dave L, Peter M and Chris, Denise, Naomi and Yvonne, and several of the Lords and gentlemen in waiting. A hot sweaty atmosphere and my lager tasted like tonic water. I have actually lost my sense of taste since Ibiza.

Dave L: disgusted.

Chris says he'll call up with the holiday photographs in the week. _______. Dave L is disgusted at my not going to Gloucester despite all the invitations. Tony seemed fine with Denise. Martyn was smoking. Does he still imagine he's on holiday? Let's hope to God he isn't becoming addicted.

They talked of going to the horrible Il Trovatore. Sorry and all that but I just couldn't face an English discotheque with the scent of Playboy One lingering on my nostrils. They brought me home and I watched the film 'Georgie Girl' on the BBC.






-=-

Thursday July 28, 1977

Took the knackered camera back to Boots at lunchtime. Got back to the office at 1.20 and Eileen informed me that Jacqui had phoned just after I'd left and could I ring her back? Oh Christ I've lost her phone number. I can tell you that she resides at 102 Grosvenor Road, Muswell Hill, but as to her phone number, no. However, at 3.30 she rang back to see how I am and to to ask whether I made it home safely.

Jacqui.

Miss Phillips phoned at 4 o'clock. "Are you nice and brown?" she asked. She is going to Newquay tomorrow for two weeks. _______.

Called in at Guiseley Police station to get a lift home. Standing outside reading my copy of 'The Times' I espy Martyn. He tells me he's been to Manchester to get a job as an encyclopedia salesman. Evidently, after ten weeks he'll be able to go sell his wares in the Bahamas with  phenomenal salary, and no doubt on his private jet. Dad laughed when I told him. He said he's rather sweep the roads. Martyn had bumped into Maria in the chemists shop.

Tony phoned tonight but I said I wasn't going out. He fancied a pint at the Rose & Crown. I just couldn't stand the pace. Watched tv all night instead.

-=-

Wednesday July 27, 1977

Dandy Nichols: transported.

Tired and shattered after the holiday. Sat in the lounge all night and never moved from the armchair. Occasionally I fell to sleep but for most of the time I am attentive and watchful. People like me won two world wars, you know. Newscaster Richard Baker may well have thought, while drooling over the nine o'clock news, that Michael Rhodes was in a deep sleep, but Mr Baker would have been very wrong. Michael Rhodes, whilst admitting to closing his eyes and letting out a snore here and there, was in fact soaking all the days news into his brain. From underneath a crumpled newspaper he distinctly heard the venerable Mr Baker informing the nation of the government's intention to abolish the House of Lords, re-unify Ireland, declare war on the USSR, and have Dandy Nichols transported to Australia.

Mama, bless her little heart, informed us today that from a week on Friday she is joining the ranks of the unemployed. She wants a few months holiday, tranquillity and peace.

-=-

Tuesday July 26, 1977

Maria's 19th birthday. Mum saw John today and he said he's taking her out for dinner to celebrate.

Monday July 25, 1977

Woke up feeling really terrible. Shaking like a leaf too. Had a large, greasy breakfast with Susan. With Sue and Pete to the Commercial at lunchtime but after one drink I'm decidedly worse. My hands were shaking too.

Sue & Pete.

Food doesn't seem to do any good either. We took fish and chips home and I played around with mine pushing it round the plate. Just no appetite.  Mum and Dad joined us at 1.30. Martyn joined us at 3 and stayed until 10.30. Watched a good film starring Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn. Go to bed dog tired.









-=-