Wake up at 9 o'clock. Feeling awfully sick. Lay motionless until 9.30. Go to the kitchen and have a grapefruit to re-vitalize my parched tonsils. Go back to bed until 11 o'clock.
Read Princess Margaret. Have a bath. By lunchtime I haven't improved. Sit listening to Rachmaninov at full volume. Mother at hairdresser. Father in garden. 'Roll over Beethoven' - fantastic.
June rings at 1.30. She is not coming out tonight and doesn't give an excuse. I say nothing much and she puts down the receiver after 3 minutes. Very poignant. It could be very upsetting if I thought about it.
Chris rang at 6.20. MM rang at 6.25. John and I leave for MMs at 7.30. He takes us down to the Ratcliffe residence where Linda, Christine W and Marita arrive almost simultaneously. Leave for the Highlander in the Merrion Centre, Leeds. A new pub but lacking in atmosphere. Go to Cinderella Rockerfella's at 10. Really classy. Dance and drink until 2.30am. MM and Linda, Chris and Marita, John and Christine pair off - I am the odd one out. Leave at 2.30. MM and Chris leave in the Datsun. Marita drives John, Christine, Linda and myself home. Not drunk and only partially tired. Bed at 3.10am.
--==--
20090424
Friday August 24, 1973
Work again. Ring Mum at 12.45. The 'O' level results are not at Benton yet. It will be Wednesday before I find out now. Not particularly bothered. I am numb. I feel no happiness and no sadness.
I do realise that June feels nothing for me. I have pretended to ignore it since the holiday. Those blasted holidays. We were so much in love until Friday July 13. The months separation proved too much. Our loved died. It is not my fault. I have tried to bring back the old spirit. My letters fail to please her. Stott and Tasker have turned her away from me. I no longer care about anything.
She rings me at 7 and says she will be at the Emmotts for 8. Arrives at 8.30.She is terrible to me. For some time I hate the very sight of her. Chris, MM, Linda Smith, Christine White and Judith Lea ask us to go back to MMs. Drink whisky until 3am. June and Judith are taken home at 11.20 by MM. Chris gets horribly drunk. I sit in the kitchen with him leaving John and Christine W, MM and Linda in the main lounge.
--==--
I do realise that June feels nothing for me. I have pretended to ignore it since the holiday. Those blasted holidays. We were so much in love until Friday July 13. The months separation proved too much. Our loved died. It is not my fault. I have tried to bring back the old spirit. My letters fail to please her. Stott and Tasker have turned her away from me. I no longer care about anything.
She rings me at 7 and says she will be at the Emmotts for 8. Arrives at 8.30.She is terrible to me. For some time I hate the very sight of her. Chris, MM, Linda Smith, Christine White and Judith Lea ask us to go back to MMs. Drink whisky until 3am. June and Judith are taken home at 11.20 by MM. Chris gets horribly drunk. I sit in the kitchen with him leaving John and Christine W, MM and Linda in the main lounge.
--==--
Thursday August 23, 1973
Pay day yet again. John and I make a feeble attempt to catch a bus. Arrive in Guiseley in a terrible mood. I am ususally a placid character, but I wouldn't say shy. Tonight though I feel very angry. I only ever experience such anger several times a year.
John wants to go for a drink so we go into the Drop - can't stand the place myself. Ask the tarty looking landlady for two pints of bitter. She answers: "Don't you mean two shandies?" After a five minute argument about our ages I tell her to "fuck off". I will never darken the doorstep of that place again.
Disturbed that June did not contact me. She thinks I am unaware of her drifting away from me.
--==--
John wants to go for a drink so we go into the Drop - can't stand the place myself. Ask the tarty looking landlady for two pints of bitter. She answers: "Don't you mean two shandies?" After a five minute argument about our ages I tell her to "fuck off". I will never darken the doorstep of that place again.
Disturbed that June did not contact me. She thinks I am unaware of her drifting away from me.
--==--
Wednesday August 22, 1973
Uneventful day at work. Go to the library at 7. Mum and Dad go see Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony. Lynn, Sue and Alison walked to Pudsey earlier this morning.
Get a book on Princess Margaret and sit at home reading of the Townsend epidemic of 1953-56. Very, very sad. The Queen doesn't come out of it very well.
See Hayley Mills in a film. Bed at 11 o'clock. June rang whilst I was out.
--==--
Get a book on Princess Margaret and sit at home reading of the Townsend epidemic of 1953-56. Very, very sad. The Queen doesn't come out of it very well.
See Hayley Mills in a film. Bed at 11 o'clock. June rang whilst I was out.
--==--
Tuesday August 21, 1973
Poor old Princess Margaret celebrates a birthday today. Bless her. It's hard to believe that 18 years ago this month she and Peter Townsend were at the climax of their pathetic romance. I suppose she should have married him, but the family ties and the interfering Archbishop of Canterbury persuaded her to do otherwise. The princess is not popular these days. People seem to think she's idle. But who wants a 43 year-old photographers wife opening the local municipal swimming baths when Princess Anne is available?
In twenty years time when Prince Charles is himself a daddy, Princess Anne will also be cast to one side and only brought out onto the balcony on very rare occasions. That's the way it goes.
--==--
In twenty years time when Prince Charles is himself a daddy, Princess Anne will also be cast to one side and only brought out onto the balcony on very rare occasions. That's the way it goes.
--==--
20090423
Monday August 20, 1973
God what a day. Go into school at 2 o'clock. See from a list on Groves desk that I have failed my History 'A' level. The horrid little sheet of paper said: 'History: four entries, three passes.' It just had to be me. They gave me an 'O' level pass. Dave got two Cs. I already have history 'O' level so it's useless really.
Dave and I take Chid to Horsforth College of Further Education - June goes there on September 14. Chid must fancy his chances.
Later. Dave and I go to see MM. Sit with him sipping very miky coffee. MM is very sorry about my failing. Go home at 6.0. Mum very sad.
John and I meet June and Susan in the Emmotts at 8 o'clock. I take my crank letter with me (received another one today). Chris enjoys reading them and looks very pale. Susan Bottomley is a very strange child indeed. I do hope that John doesn't take her out.
--==--
Dave and I take Chid to Horsforth College of Further Education - June goes there on September 14. Chid must fancy his chances.
Later. Dave and I go to see MM. Sit with him sipping very miky coffee. MM is very sorry about my failing. Go home at 6.0. Mum very sad.
John and I meet June and Susan in the Emmotts at 8 o'clock. I take my crank letter with me (received another one today). Chris enjoys reading them and looks very pale. Susan Bottomley is a very strange child indeed. I do hope that John doesn't take her out.
--==--
Sunday August 19, 1973
9th after Trinity. Can't be bothered to write anything constructive. Who cares anyway? I certainly do not.
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