Today I look madly around for reasons why June should cast me off. I conjure up the idea that she hasn't even given me up! Suppose she's been taken away for the Bank Holiday by Christine and John? But no, she would have told me. I will have to face up to the fact she is sick of me. God. It is all so odd.
A hot day spent painting garage doors behind the Stone Trough at Rawdon. Andy looks so different since having his hair cut on Saturday. Have crisp sandwiches for lunch. See Bill briefly this afternoon.
Later: Chris rang me and begged John and I to go the Emmotts. We agree. Poor MM is a nervous wreck worrying about the results of the 'O' level Economics which are to be released tomorrow. Evidently, he saw Darryl today, who heard from Tasker, that June in finishing with me. Big deal! I have known this for two whole miserable days now. Andy Graham, John and I get the 10.40 55 bus. Home for just after 11 o'clock.
We are probably goint to Rufforth stock car racing on Sunday - making a day of it. What a busy week we are all having! I think they are all doing it to keep my mind off June. Cowie, Dale and Willie (who passed his driving test today) were in the Emmotts tonight. All were shocked to hear about June. God. It all seems so strange without her.
--==--
20090424
Monday August 27, 1973
Bank Holiday Monday. Wake up at 10 o'clock. Sick and worried to death. Never did I think June would leave me like this. But, I suppose that's life.
Grab the 'Daily Mail' to read about the King of Sweden, and to my amazement see that the Liberals are now as popular as the Conservatives. Mr Thorpe could well be PM in 1974. Dad thinks it will take many years for the Liberals to obtain the necessary majority - he is usually correct in these matters.
Later: Mother says I am moody simply because I have been deserted by June. Isn't that a very good excuse to be moody? I loved her very much, and still do.
John and I go to the Emmotts at 8.30 after seeing 'Carry on Screaming' - really hilarious.
Linda Smith, MM, Chris, Marita, John and Christine W, Andy Graham and me. No June. The Emmotts harbours such good memories.
Dave comes at 9.30 and we go in his car to the Queen's. Chris goes with Marita in her car, and everyone else goes with MM. Stay until 11 o'clock. Dave and I have tremendous fun coming home. Hiding on Hawksworth Lane with the car lights off in order to surprise MM. What children we are!
--==--
Grab the 'Daily Mail' to read about the King of Sweden, and to my amazement see that the Liberals are now as popular as the Conservatives. Mr Thorpe could well be PM in 1974. Dad thinks it will take many years for the Liberals to obtain the necessary majority - he is usually correct in these matters.
Later: Mother says I am moody simply because I have been deserted by June. Isn't that a very good excuse to be moody? I loved her very much, and still do.
John and I go to the Emmotts at 8.30 after seeing 'Carry on Screaming' - really hilarious.
Linda Smith, MM, Chris, Marita, John and Christine W, Andy Graham and me. No June. The Emmotts harbours such good memories.
Dave comes at 9.30 and we go in his car to the Queen's. Chris goes with Marita in her car, and everyone else goes with MM. Stay until 11 o'clock. Dave and I have tremendous fun coming home. Hiding on Hawksworth Lane with the car lights off in order to surprise MM. What children we are!
--==--
Sunday August 26, 1973
Re-gain consciousness at 12.20pm. Lunch at 12.30. Very nice meal. Take a bath immediately afterwards. Sit up to my neck in steaming water listening to Alan Freeman with his records from the last 15 years. Very nostalgic indeed. Relax in the lounge with Mother and John until tea.
Later: ring Dave. He is collecting John and myself at 8.15 - taking us to the Emmotts. Ring Chris shortly afterwards. The poor soul went through £3.50 yesterday! I thought my £2.50 was bad enough.
Father, in one of his moods, acts terribly. He wants to go to Wakefield to see his father. Lynn hates the idea and starts crying. Nevertheless, Dad takes Mother off in the car. Lynn is still crying when Dad comes back a few minutes later begging forgiveness. They all go out together. By 8 o'clock they are all back - completely happy.
Hear on the 6 o'clock news that King Gustav Adolf of Sweden is even worse. He will probably die before morning. After all, the old boy is 90. His daughter, the Queen Mother of Denmark, is 70!
Later still: Dave picks John and me up. Go to the Emmotts where all the crowd sit drinking in a bored sort of way. At 9.15 we go to the Queen's. MM and Chris are more concerned about the 'June business' than I am. If she doesn't want to contact me then it's her affair. I am too proud to worry about this.
--==--
Later: ring Dave. He is collecting John and myself at 8.15 - taking us to the Emmotts. Ring Chris shortly afterwards. The poor soul went through £3.50 yesterday! I thought my £2.50 was bad enough.
Father, in one of his moods, acts terribly. He wants to go to Wakefield to see his father. Lynn hates the idea and starts crying. Nevertheless, Dad takes Mother off in the car. Lynn is still crying when Dad comes back a few minutes later begging forgiveness. They all go out together. By 8 o'clock they are all back - completely happy.
Hear on the 6 o'clock news that King Gustav Adolf of Sweden is even worse. He will probably die before morning. After all, the old boy is 90. His daughter, the Queen Mother of Denmark, is 70!
Later still: Dave picks John and me up. Go to the Emmotts where all the crowd sit drinking in a bored sort of way. At 9.15 we go to the Queen's. MM and Chris are more concerned about the 'June business' than I am. If she doesn't want to contact me then it's her affair. I am too proud to worry about this.
--==--
Saturday August 25, 1973
Wake up at 9 o'clock. Feeling awfully sick. Lay motionless until 9.30. Go to the kitchen and have a grapefruit to re-vitalize my parched tonsils. Go back to bed until 11 o'clock.
Read Princess Margaret. Have a bath. By lunchtime I haven't improved. Sit listening to Rachmaninov at full volume. Mother at hairdresser. Father in garden. 'Roll over Beethoven' - fantastic.
June rings at 1.30. She is not coming out tonight and doesn't give an excuse. I say nothing much and she puts down the receiver after 3 minutes. Very poignant. It could be very upsetting if I thought about it.
Chris rang at 6.20. MM rang at 6.25. John and I leave for MMs at 7.30. He takes us down to the Ratcliffe residence where Linda, Christine W and Marita arrive almost simultaneously. Leave for the Highlander in the Merrion Centre, Leeds. A new pub but lacking in atmosphere. Go to Cinderella Rockerfella's at 10. Really classy. Dance and drink until 2.30am. MM and Linda, Chris and Marita, John and Christine pair off - I am the odd one out. Leave at 2.30. MM and Chris leave in the Datsun. Marita drives John, Christine, Linda and myself home. Not drunk and only partially tired. Bed at 3.10am.
--==--
Read Princess Margaret. Have a bath. By lunchtime I haven't improved. Sit listening to Rachmaninov at full volume. Mother at hairdresser. Father in garden. 'Roll over Beethoven' - fantastic.
June rings at 1.30. She is not coming out tonight and doesn't give an excuse. I say nothing much and she puts down the receiver after 3 minutes. Very poignant. It could be very upsetting if I thought about it.
Chris rang at 6.20. MM rang at 6.25. John and I leave for MMs at 7.30. He takes us down to the Ratcliffe residence where Linda, Christine W and Marita arrive almost simultaneously. Leave for the Highlander in the Merrion Centre, Leeds. A new pub but lacking in atmosphere. Go to Cinderella Rockerfella's at 10. Really classy. Dance and drink until 2.30am. MM and Linda, Chris and Marita, John and Christine pair off - I am the odd one out. Leave at 2.30. MM and Chris leave in the Datsun. Marita drives John, Christine, Linda and myself home. Not drunk and only partially tired. Bed at 3.10am.
--==--
Friday August 24, 1973
Work again. Ring Mum at 12.45. The 'O' level results are not at Benton yet. It will be Wednesday before I find out now. Not particularly bothered. I am numb. I feel no happiness and no sadness.
I do realise that June feels nothing for me. I have pretended to ignore it since the holiday. Those blasted holidays. We were so much in love until Friday July 13. The months separation proved too much. Our loved died. It is not my fault. I have tried to bring back the old spirit. My letters fail to please her. Stott and Tasker have turned her away from me. I no longer care about anything.
She rings me at 7 and says she will be at the Emmotts for 8. Arrives at 8.30.She is terrible to me. For some time I hate the very sight of her. Chris, MM, Linda Smith, Christine White and Judith Lea ask us to go back to MMs. Drink whisky until 3am. June and Judith are taken home at 11.20 by MM. Chris gets horribly drunk. I sit in the kitchen with him leaving John and Christine W, MM and Linda in the main lounge.
--==--
I do realise that June feels nothing for me. I have pretended to ignore it since the holiday. Those blasted holidays. We were so much in love until Friday July 13. The months separation proved too much. Our loved died. It is not my fault. I have tried to bring back the old spirit. My letters fail to please her. Stott and Tasker have turned her away from me. I no longer care about anything.
She rings me at 7 and says she will be at the Emmotts for 8. Arrives at 8.30.She is terrible to me. For some time I hate the very sight of her. Chris, MM, Linda Smith, Christine White and Judith Lea ask us to go back to MMs. Drink whisky until 3am. June and Judith are taken home at 11.20 by MM. Chris gets horribly drunk. I sit in the kitchen with him leaving John and Christine W, MM and Linda in the main lounge.
--==--
Thursday August 23, 1973
Pay day yet again. John and I make a feeble attempt to catch a bus. Arrive in Guiseley in a terrible mood. I am ususally a placid character, but I wouldn't say shy. Tonight though I feel very angry. I only ever experience such anger several times a year.
John wants to go for a drink so we go into the Drop - can't stand the place myself. Ask the tarty looking landlady for two pints of bitter. She answers: "Don't you mean two shandies?" After a five minute argument about our ages I tell her to "fuck off". I will never darken the doorstep of that place again.
Disturbed that June did not contact me. She thinks I am unaware of her drifting away from me.
--==--
John wants to go for a drink so we go into the Drop - can't stand the place myself. Ask the tarty looking landlady for two pints of bitter. She answers: "Don't you mean two shandies?" After a five minute argument about our ages I tell her to "fuck off". I will never darken the doorstep of that place again.
Disturbed that June did not contact me. She thinks I am unaware of her drifting away from me.
--==--
Wednesday August 22, 1973
Uneventful day at work. Go to the library at 7. Mum and Dad go see Auntie Hilda and Uncle Tony. Lynn, Sue and Alison walked to Pudsey earlier this morning.
Get a book on Princess Margaret and sit at home reading of the Townsend epidemic of 1953-56. Very, very sad. The Queen doesn't come out of it very well.
See Hayley Mills in a film. Bed at 11 o'clock. June rang whilst I was out.
--==--
Get a book on Princess Margaret and sit at home reading of the Townsend epidemic of 1953-56. Very, very sad. The Queen doesn't come out of it very well.
See Hayley Mills in a film. Bed at 11 o'clock. June rang whilst I was out.
--==--
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