Monday July 23, 1979

_. Eventually climbed out of bed at about 11am and waited for Garry and Bill. The bar was open but neither Dave or I could face having a drink. Garry came in saying his car is 'off the road', and so Dave offered to drive me home. ___________.

Home by 2pm. Mum looks well. She filled us in with all the news and gossip which took us until about 5pm. Poor little Catherine has a heart defect of some kind - probably a hole in the heart. Maria took both babies to the RC church yesterday at Burley-in-Wharfedale and had them christened. It is a sad thought on which to reflect that my tiny, innocent niece is banned by law from ever becoming Queen of England.

Susan and Peter are having an engagement party at Otley on Wednesday night. Dave G cannot make it.

Billy is shattered by the Ibiza experience and has vowed never to go on holiday with us again. They, the lads, stayed to tea, and left for Stockport at about 7pm.

Ally was particularly shy, and dashed off for a sauna with Sue. Susie's hair is permed again.

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to be continued

Sunday July 22, 1979

_. 6th Sunday after Trinity

The saddest day of the holiday. We hung around the pool for most of the day just waiting to go home. Spending our last few pesetas on booze and ham and cheese toasties. The flies hanging over the hotel are nauseating. We laugh and say that 'Eva Braun' (the manageress) must be breeding them (the flies) in canisters and releasing them from a high balcony onto the distraught holidaymakers. Chat with Anne and Lorraine. They've avoided us for two weeks. Stuck up sods really. I snapped away with my camera like Lord Snowdon in an attempt to use up my film.

Left at 7pm-ish for the airport although we didn't fly until 10. Ate roast beef and carrots at 35,000 ft. Peculiar, eh?

We landed in Birmingham at about midnight and sat amongst the litter and Commonwealth immigrants faced with the knowledge that we were stranded here until about 8am. Billy refused to accept this and hailed a taxi. It cost us £40 from Birmingham Airport to Stockport. "Oh, it's not bad!" exclaimed Dave, as we sat in silence. "It would have cost just as much by train, anyway."

Hit Stockport at 2am. Greeted by Lily and a toothless granddad. Downed three bottles of Coca Cola in the Hollywood bar. Oh God, we're home. Bed at 2:45am.

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Saturday July 21, 1979

_. Sue's twentieth birthday. I attempted to phone home all day but failed miserably. Had difficulties with the international code system and made three calls accidentally to Whitby 4302. From Ibiza to Whitby, just 70 miles out. Poor Sue will wonder what has befallen me. Bless her, she's getting engaged too.

I went into San Antonio and bought a Hawaiian-style shirt for 1400 pesetas. What the Hell anyway?

At 4pm Dave, Janice and I decided to crack open a bottle of gin, several bottles of wine, and a selection of squashes. A miserable sort of birthday party in Susan's honour. Billy and Garry came in and we played 'This is Your Life' and 'Blankety Blank' and other party games. I was Eammon Andrews and Terry Wogan. Dave played Lord Mountbatten in 'This Is Your Life' and Janice shone as Des O'Connor's daughter. You know the one I mean.

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Friday July 20, 1979

_. Knackered all day. Went shopping with Billy. Cut my finger on a pop bottle in one of those abominable Spanish supermarkets. It was Billy's object to buy lots of gifts for his numerous relations at home but on returning to the Galfi he had only purchased forty Embassy cigarettes.

To bed at 3pm until 7, and then out on the town until 3am.

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Thursday July 19, 1979

_. Stayed in San Antonio. Drank vast amounts in the beach bar. Billy left his teeth back at the hotel because they need a good cleaning and he caused a minor sensation parading in the sand in Nicola's sun hat. His sun-tanned gums went down a treat with the naked Swedish girls.

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Wednesday July 18, 1979

_. Today was just a replica of yesterday in almost every detail, but for the fact that I wore different clothes in the evening and Billy failed to do his 'drunken man falling over in the street' routine. The sun shone so very nicely too.

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Tuesday July 17, 1979

_. To the beach in San Antonio. Went out on a pedalo with Billy and Garry. Billy loved it, and was like a small child. He says coming to Ibiza was worth it just for the experience.

OK Coral again. Billy collapsed, yet again. Will he survive the holiday? Forget his 80 year-old mother.

Dave is with Janice (again). She is very pleasant and quickly adapting to David's sense of humour. Poor girl.

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