Monday March 15, 1976

Frank rang at about 11 o'clock tonight to say Uncle Jack (Paine) died at 9.45 this evening. It's a horrible shock because he was at the wedding two days ago and was back at Pine Tops afterwards. I even have a polaroid photo of him sitting with Susan and Carole. He was joking with Cousin Stephen in the hallway and he told me his whisky didn't have enough dry ginger in it. He did look ill, and I can't help thinking that sitting around in that cold, clammy church helped him on his way. Poor Auntie Mabel will be desolate without him.

Lynn got me out of bed at about 7.15 as far as I can remember. Jim wasn't anywhere to be seen and so I got a bus to Leeds with John & Maria's wedding photo under my arm. (Jack Simon, the wedding photographer brought a copy up to our place yesterday afternoon and because the EP photographer didn't show up I took it into the office for them to publish). The photo appeared in all editions of the EP tonight.

I am very proud of John and Maria and hope they have a long and happy life together.

Clear out the bedroom tonight and packed all John's remaining belongings into a suitcase. I'm moving into the small front bedroom tomorrow and giving the larger back room over to Lynn and Sue. I'll be glad to get out of it. Without John it wouldn't be the same.

Carole rang at 7.30 and we chatted for about 30 minutes. Watch TV until Frank rang with the bad news.

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Sunday March 14, 1976

2nd in Lent. John's first full day as a married man. I am up at 12.15. Uncle Harry explained the symptoms of his chill to me over morning tea.

In Lynn's bedroom Carole is apologising for being ill last night. I keep thinking about what Jackie said to me ____________. I really do think she is enormously attractive.

Have a cooked breakfast with Mum. John and Maria rang from the hotel this morning. They're leaving for Scotland before lunch and hope to be over the border in time for their evening meal at their hotel in Howick. He (John) was laughing at Maria's insatiable desire for food. A lovely girl though. Stunned at the thought of having a sister-in-law.

Carole gets up for an hour and then goes back to bed. I'm concerned that she hasn't eaten a thing since the wedding reception.

See "The Barrett's of Wimpole Street" on TV this afternoon and decide that the most talented star in the whole film is 'Flush' Elizabeth Barrett Browning's pet spaniel.

Carole emerges from her pit at 7.30. Drink vodka (except Carole that is). Take photos with my polaroid camera. Carole is still unwell and sits trembling like a leaf, from shock I think, and as Molly Macdonald told me this morning, it sometimes takes a year to get over an accident like that.

David takes Carole home at 11 and I retire to a bedroom. A bedroom without John, which is weird and unusual.

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Saturday March 13, 1976

The wedding of the year. I was wakened at 8am by Mum. Look out of the window onto a cold, wet, damp, unhealthy scene. John stirs half an hour later and curses the rain because he wanted to clean the spitfire and make it respectable for the ensuing honeymoon.

Mum and Sue go off to have their hair done & I go over the marriage service with John, make a speech for the reception, and make myself generally presentable.

The girls are back at 10.30 whilst Lynn and Carole in the meantime are knocking back Cinzano and lemonade with gusto. I tell them that the bride may be blushing, but the bridesmaids will be belching. Sarah and Delia arrive with flowers. Susan blow-waves John's hair while he goes over the marriage service yet again.
Clad in morning suits John and I go in a Rolls Royce to the church. At the church by 12.25. Pay the organist, deal with the registrar and give Father Scannell his money. The guests arrive and by 1pm they are all seated. The bride is 20 minutes late and the priest announces dryly from the vestry door that Maria is now on the missing persons list and that she's probably changed her mind.

She comes down the aisle on the arm of her Dad and accompanied by Lynn, Sue and Elizabeth Macdonald. The service is hysterical really and old Scannell turnd it into something of a circus. He embarrassed John and upset Maria and I left the church afterwards feeling stunned that such a ridiculous 'palarva' can be called a marriage service. The signing of the register was riotous.

The reception was first class. I was on the top table next to John, and Auntie Mabel and Uncle Jack sat directly opposite. Jim Mac made a lengthy speech and I followed it up with a small one of my own. All went off marvellously well really.

Party at the Macdonald residence tonight. Masses of relatives attended and the highlights were: 1). Auntie Eleanor and Jackie having a tremendous row, 2). Jackie telling me __________________________; 3).Poor Carole getting as pissed as a newt and me having to bring her home at midnight. 4). John ringing after setting off on his honeymoon to say he'd broken down at a place near Settle and had booked in at a hotel for the night, &c.


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Friday March 12, 1976

A hectic day indeed. Get up at 12.15 feeling quite fit. John is in a terrible state and remembers nothing about last night. He and Maria go shopping in Bradford whilst I sit in the dining room thinking of something to say in my speech tomorrow.

Jim Macdonald comes round at 3 with our morning suits. They look tremendous on. Mum and Dad go out shopping all afternoon and then back to Jim and Molly's to discuss the buffet.

I rang Carole. Stunned to hear she was involved in a nasty road accident this lunchtime. Her friend was driving a car down Butcher Hill in Bradford and ran into a van or something. Both girls were hysterical but not seriously hurt. She says she only has a bruise on the head.

I go down to see her at 8 o'clock after having been to a wedding rehearsal at Burley. Her forehead is cut and it looks hideous. Why didn't she tell me this on the phone? Her Mum and Dad don't even know how she has come to receive such a wound, and haven't bothered to force the truth out of her. Funny goings on indeed.

We go across to the Hare where Mum and Dad join us with the rest of the gang at 8.30. John is out but no Maria. He has a last quiet drink before the burdens of responsibility weigh him down. See Ian Appleyard with his wife and Kevin Taylor. Home with Carole who's sleeping the night at 11 o'clock or so.

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Thursday March 11, 1976

John's 'stag' party in Leeds. Stags are: David Baker, Esq; Martyn Cole, Esq; Christopher Ratcliffe, Esq; Keith Brown, Esq; Peter Mather, Esq; & of course the VIP himself, Mr John Rhodes. Poor Peter N had his ingrowing toe-nail removed yesterday and was unable to attend, but the rest of us had a 'whale of a time'.

David, John and myself went to the bus stop near the Station Hotel at 7 o'clock but no bus arrived for half an hour & so we had a pint in the Station plus one small bottle of whisky. Met Keith on the 33 bus at Rawdon and we travelled into Leeds together. Met Pete M, Chris and Martyn at the Ostlers before moving on to Brahms and Liszt, where a jazz group banged away like fury but sounded quite good really. We then went to the Highlander where I splashed a half pint of lager over a nice looking woman, but nothing came of it. All of us then piled into Cinderella's which was full of 'Hen' parties. We were all paired off with drunken betrothed specimens in frilly nighties and policemens helmets. Just as I was warming up Chris told me that John was unconscious in the Merrion Centre and so it was my lot, being best man,. to accompany the patient home in a taxi, which arrived home at about 1.15am, splashing about in John's vomit. The driver was most amiable about it considering the circumstances and only charged me an extra 50p for the cleansing of the automobile in question. David and Martyn came back to our place by taxi at about 1.45am. Phew! What a night!

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Wednesday March 10, 1976

Mum woke me at 6am while she was struggling to the bathroom on one leg like Long John Silver. Of all the times to be rendered crippled! I can forsee her being carried down the aisle on a stretcher on Saturday which, if nothing else, will raise a few laughs from our sadistic, insane family.

It rains slightly as Jim and I drive to Leeds but it clears up. I hate rain.

It is rewarding to see the Union Jack hoist up outside the YP because I am responsible for supplying Tom Lambert with the up-to-date list of flag flying days. Today is Prince Edward's 12th birthday. If I hadn't stopped him Tom would have had the flag fluttering on the mast on March 31 for Prince Henry, Duke of Gloucester. When Tom asked me why we don't fly it for Henry anymore I had to answer in very simple terms: 'He's dead Tom, that's why.'

Home for chicken which was cooked by Dad. John is still behaving strangely and is very bad tempered. Must be his way of showing he's just as nervous as the rest of us.

The wedding rehearsal tonight at Burley-in-Wharfedale, but when we get to the church it is all in darkness. John comes tearing down the road to say it's all off. We think he means the wedding is off, but it's only the rehearsal. Father Scannell has forgotten all about it and has gone off with his brother. The silly old boy is over 70 and seems to be on the verge of senility.

John, Lynn and I go in the spitfire to the Hare. We are all nostalgic. Lynn says it's the last pre-wedding drink we'll have together. The three of us then went to Maria's and chat until 11.30 or so.

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Tuesday March 9, 1976

Spring morning. Rejoice to the Lord on High for delivering us through the harrowing ice of winter. The daffodils and bright green buds give one a deep sense of thankfulness, and I for one wouldn't trade the English countryside for anything ... well, perhaps I'd swap it for a night in bed with Felicity Kendal and Helen Mirren, but that's about it.

At 8 John drives me down to the Hare. He's getting uptight and irritated. When I remind him about ringing Andy about the 'stag night' he's almost violent and tells me to shut my mouth. I yell at him and then get out of the car and he just drives away into the distance.

I go to Carole's and we walk back to the Hare & Hounds. We sit in the lounge and she keeps asking me what's wrong, and I keep telling her 'nothing'. But she knows when I have something on my mind. I am worried about John. _______________.

Home on the bus at 11.10 and go straight to bed. PS - Mum went over on her foot in Guiseley this lunchtime and is now crippled. Will she be hobbling at the wedding? See tomorrow's installment.


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