Saturday May 14, 1977

Susan wakes me at 8.30 and I leave for Leeds at about 10 o'clock.  Say farewell to Uncle Bert who is injecting some foul smelling liquid into the stub where his poor leg once reclined. Nauseating, eh?

Leave Leeds at 1055 and get into Manchester by 12.15. I walk through Manchester wearing a blue and white striped T-shirt. This may seem to be a normal thing to do, and indeed had I adorned my body with the said T-shirt in Cambridge, Milford Haven and possibly Carnarvon it would have been. Not Manchester, however. The local dominant football team are quite partial to a more crimson hue. Yes, Manchester Utd, of course. I sought refuge in a telephone box to avoid a particularly vicious looking mob. As I crouched 'neath the volumes of yellow pages my thoughts were with Queen Marie Antoinette and how she must have felt as the filthy Parisians dragged her through the streets in a rickety tumbril.

Got to Stockport and met Dave G. He informs me that my troublesome shirt is in the colours of Stockport County FC and gives me a pat on the back and takes me to the Unity for a drink. Six or seven drinks to be exact. Meet a couple of his friends - Steve (who I met last time), Garry and Billy. A sobering stroll round Stockport.  The climax of the afternoon is a coffee in a Wimpy Bar.

The Hollywood Hotel

Back to the Hollywood and meet Mr & Mrs Glynn. See the Muppets on TV. Also see Glenn.

To the Unity with with Dave G, Glenn, Garry, Steve and Billy plus two unnamed females who are lovely little movers, and one of them (Holly) fancies me, I think. Go by taxi to the Poco Club where 'The Brothers' are appearing. (The do "Sing Me" which they had in the charts). We didn't even see them anyway and got pissed in the adjoining disco. Glenn disappeared at 1am after an ice throwing contest with Dave and I as we did our usual formation dance routine. Really a hysterical evening. Dave and I back to the Hollywood at 2.30am by taxi and sleep head to toe (or arse to tit) in Dave's large bed.

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Friday May 13, 1977

I have reverted to my faithful old pen. Yes, it is Friday the Thirteenth. Pouring with rain when Mama wakes me at 10 o'clock to say she's been into the office but has returned because she feels unwell. She keeps dashing to the toilet - urine problem. She's wearing a path from her boudoir to the smallest room. (I realise it's probably indelicate to discuss such things here and it's quite abominable of me to record it for posterity, but I haven't much else to say).

Uncle Bert: diarrhoea

Walk into Guiseley with umberella and collect medicine for Motherdear and pay a social call on the Guiseley branch of the West Yorkshire Police force. Also went to the bank for £30 which boosts my holiday money up to £100.

Make lunch for Dad and I and Mum announces that Uncle Bert is coming tonight for the weekend. I don't believe I've seen him since Christmas 1973. Of course he's had a leg off since then and his other one isn't all that good. Oh My God, he's on a dismal decline at only 50.

Dad and I go to Leeds at 6 o'clock and pick up Uncle (Bert) at Quarry Hill flats for some reason. He is unrecognisable. Old isn't the word. I almost die laughing when Dad asks him how he is. "I have had diarrhoea" comes the reply, "and so on Wednesday I decided to take a couple of days off in lieu". No one but me found it funny.

Chris and Pete came at 8.30 and stood on the drive admiring John's new car. I am alarmed that Peter can pretend that Tuesday's conversation never took place. I am extremely cool with him ____________.

Tony and Martyn come and we go to the Bod and the Hare and Hounds at Heaton. Michelle and Co join us. I like Michelle immensely - so sweet and nice. In the Bod I told Pete to 'piss off'._________.

With Tony and Martyn to the Il Trovatore. Thoroughly boring.

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Thursday May 12, 1977

Met Carole at 7.30 at the White Cross and we got an omnibus to Bradford. The new bus station is like Versailles. All carpeted with piped music, and chandeliers hanging like great foxgloves from the ornate ceilings. In fact it looks as if Bradford City Council have had some help from Rubens or Van Dyck.

Carole is strangely quiet. We laugh at the fact we have to return to Shipley to go on to Bingley and the realisation that the visit to Bradford's 'Hall of Mirrors' could have been avoided is like a blow on the head with a mallet.

In Bingley for 9 o'clock. After a few drinks we walked to Oakwood Hall for 10.15. Peter N was in with his friends again. Carole and I had a good talk about the past year. (Oh shit, the ink is going all the way through the bloody paper for some reason). We decided that we are getting on better this time round. Home in another taxi at 2am. The taxi driver smoked a large cigar and sounded like an Old Etonian. No doubt he's a poor hereditary peer who cannot afford to get down to the House of Lords.

Not seeing Carole until next Thursday. I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Wednesday May 11, 1977

Don't hear a bloody thing until Mum and Dad come in for lunch at 1.45pm. Sat yawning over a cup of tea and then opened my mail. Two bloody letters. One from Helen Malin which points out I owe her £1 and not vice versa. Oh shit. I said that the royal baby would be born in the spring or summer of '77 and if it arrived any later I would pay up. What a horrific thought. The other is a letter from Kathryn. It is perfection itself and I settle down to reply and before I know where I am it's 4 o'clock and time to go to the dreaded YP.

Diary: red ink works wonders

Charged down the lane and got at bus. At the office for 5. I made enquiries about coaches for Saturday returning Sunday. Peter Mather amazes me __________.

Work was busy and tiresome. Ursula is very nice to work with. I do believe I experienced an erotic dream about her the other night. Of all people. I must be daft or something. How do you like my change of handwriting? Mrs Monkman, who left number 60 yesterday, gave me the pen. I do believe her brother sent it to her from Japan. One would have thought that the Japs would have caught onto the biro by now. I still think this nice red hue works wonders. Blue ink became so depressing.

The taxi driver tonight was no leading authority in any field. If he was he didn't bring it into the conversation.

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Tuesday May 10, 1977

A normal May day for a change. Too hot even. Well, not perhaps too hot but we aren't really used to it as yet.

Headlines: the newspapers are convinced that the Prince of Wales is going to marry Princess Marie-Astrid of Luxembourg. She's at Cambridge at the moment studying English, and photographs of her walking through the city carrying a pile of text books are splattered in every national newspaper. Even the wary old Times has afforded Her Royal Highness (or is she a Serene Highness?) a slot on page seven or eight. The furore has been going on for two or three days. The princess is a fifth cousin of the Queen. It is, of course, no obstacle.

Peter: petrol problem

At about 7 I had a phone call from Chris saying he isn't going to Stockport and concluded by saying Pete M will be ringing shortly to 'tell you why he can't go either'. Sure enough Pete phoned and I was utterly dumbfounded and astonished. He accused me of only ever ringing him when I need a lift and concluded by saying I'm a 'cheeky sod'. He also made reference to our previous visit to Stockport and said he was appalled at Martyn and I for not contributing to the petrol. Christ it was five months ago and it's taken all this time to get it off his chest! I would have thought that friendship was worth a bit more than the price of a gallon of petrol but he obviously differs on this point.

Met CB at the Crown at Yeadon at 8.30. June is in with her fiance, and so is Phil Knowles, but he goes when he sees Christine. Dave, Dave, Phil and Phil are also supping, along with Maura and Marian, &c. Got quite pissed and after depositing Christine on the last bus I walked home through Yeadon and over Nunroyd park. In by 12. Mum and Dad get on my bloody nerves.

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Monday May 9, 1977

Horrible, hectic, hell of a day. Just Sarah, Eileen and I and it's jut too busy. To make matters worse Dave Bruce insulted me by saying I look three months pregnant. But I'm a man. It's obviously the combination of gallons of lager and jeans with a 30 inch waist.

Carole phoned at 3-ish. Arrange to go out on Thursday. She tells me she phoned Denise this morning and ________. Somehow I don't think outsiders should become involved because no outside aid can be given. They both know how things stand.

I phoned Dave G and said I'd be over on Saturday - just who with I don't know. Rang Chris tonight and he says he'll phone back tomorrow. I don't think he or Pete M want to go, and Martyn has a golf tournament and so I may be going freelance. Sod them anyway.

Tony rang and says he got really pissed yesterday afternoon. ________________.It's like a bloody Greek tragedy. On the subject of Greek tragedies - what about the return of Carole?  Every day I ask the same questions, none of which can be answered satisfactorily. Am I to go to my grave loveless and alone just because I cannot forget a horrible incident a year ago which I was more or less responsible for? I'm not interested in any other female and she seems to feel the same way about me. Should I forget May 1976 forever? Will it be on my conscience until the end of time?

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Sunday May 8, 1977

4th after Easter. Cloud and drizzle. Breakfast on kippers. Tony rang ______. I suggested going out and he laughed and said he was just thinking about getting pissed. We went to the Shoulder of Mutton for an hour and discussed all the things we've discussed thousands of time before.

Tony

Home for 2.15 and had lunch with all the family - even John, Maria, JPH and Auntie Mabel.

Work from 5pm until midnight. Ursula was her usual cheerful self. Home in a taxi with a comedian of a driver who spent six years in the army in Aden and Edinburgh. He tells of hair curling tales of lesbians in the jungle, suicide squads, severed limbs - the lot. The conversation was heavy with four letter words beginning with F and ending in K, with a U and a C in the middle. Salt of the earth, some of these taxi drivers.




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Saturday May 7, 1977

Eggs and bacon with Mum, Dad, Sue, and Auntie Mabel. I was up early at 8.30 sitting on the couch with the radio until I heard movement in the kitchen.Invariably the first poor soul to be heard messing around in the kitchen is bombarded with orders for tea and other light refreshment. Dad was the victim this morning.

with JPH

To Morrison's in the rain at 12 o'clock or so. Lynn and I took Auntie Mabel round 'Life Style' - the new wing of the supermarket which sells everything from Royal Doulton china to contraceptives.

Back to Silverdale Drive and play with the baby until 3. Maria is thinner. She's down to 9st now. JPH is passed round the assembled multitude until he's insensible, and after we've made him sick we evacuate the area and return to Pinetops for the R.L. Cup final.

Sue, Pete, Mum, Dad and Auntie Mabel go to the Birch Tree at Wilsill for a meal in the evening and Lynn and I are just settling down to have tea when we have a surprise visit indeed. It's Messers Ratcliffe and Mather. ______. We sat talking until Tony and Martyn arrived at 9 o'clock. To the Hare and Hounds at Heaton and the Bod again. Women piled eight feet deep. Sue from WH Smiths and her mate fromthe travel department are in the Bod. Sue is a terrible flirt. _____. Tony especially was on top form. Home at the usual hour. Tony borrowed my razor.

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Friday May 6, 1977

No Carole tonight. Went into the Hare and Hounds at 8.30 with Tony.  CB comes in. She gave me a new copy of the 'Monty Python' book we bought in Sheffield two years ago. She tipped her cider all over the juke box in the hilarity of the occasion. Judith was very quiet.

CB: positively violent

With Sue, Peter N,  Martyn, Tony, CB to the Bod in Bradford. It's packed at Christine becomes positively violent about the place. Tony and Martyn met the two young ladies from Halifax and chat with them, but after a solitary drink Sue, Pete, CB and I return to the Hare & Hounds. The barman says, at 10.50, that I'm too late to buy a drink and the infernal manager seeks permission from Nigel Smith and his mafia-like cronies before I'm served.

I'm bloody speechless and vow never to go into the pub again. CB laughs and says she has also made such a vow before but she has always returned in the end and says it's obvious that next weekend I'll be back too. Not if I have my way I won't. Besides, staying away from the Hare will fit in with my plans, which are a) I'm tiring of J_____and it makes my presence in the Hare uncomfortable, and b). if Carole is back on the scene I don't want to go in the Hare with her, and c). it's a fucking tip anyway. Can't say tonight was enjoyable at all really.

Back home at 11.15. Auntie Mabel, Mum and Dad come back at 2am from cousin Dorothy's (White Horse). I sleep in the lounge because Auntie M claims my bedroom. She is staying until Sunday.

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Thursday May 5, 1977

Out with Tony and Carole to the Hare & Hounds at Heaton, Bradford at 8.30. Carole looked divine. All heads turned when she entered the pub and people couldn't help staring at her. I think Tony felt like he was being neglected somewhat and so at 9 he phoned Sue (from WH Smith's) to see if she fancied a night out at Oakwood Hall. He arranged to pick her up at 10.40.

With Carole: she looked divine

I soon began to feel intoxicated. I don't know whether it was the drink or Carole, but I certainly felt something. Her eyes. Her face. Quite incredible they are. Collected Sue and went off to Oakwood. The girls took an immediate dislike to one another. Bitchiness in the extreme, I'm afraid to say. It must have been Sue who started it because Carole couldn't be bitchy if she tried. She is far too naive and sweet.

Saw Peter N with a couple of his friends at the disco and he was pleased to see Carole and I together. We danced and had a couple of drinks. I even had orange juice. We both forgot we'd ever been apart in the first place and we laughed and joked just like old times. For God's sake, I hope I'm doing the right thing meeting Carole like this. Am I leading her on at all? It didn't feel wrong and nothing but sheer enjoyment came from it. It wouldn't go down well at home if we got back together, but the attitude of my parents at the moment is abominable anyway and to be quite honest I'm not taking any more Dictatorship. One would think I was twelve years old.

Tony seemed to think Sue wasn't on form. Oh, by the way. Linda rang and finished with him tonight.

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Wednesday May 4, 1977

A nice morning for a change. The birds actually lowered themselves to give us a tune and the rain managed to hold off until I was safely encased in the Jim-mobile. No Sarah today. Auntie Delia informed me that the poor girl is suffering from dizzy spells and such like. I like Auntie tremendously and we are still promising one another tea or an evening meal but she is always bogged down with (flower arranging) classes.

YP was dead. Worked through lunch and went home at my usual time - 4.30. Horrible meal this evening. Mother is still behaving positively rude and childishly, which encourages me to a certain extent. Her attitude won't get her anywhere at all.

Queen: speech to the Lords & Commons

On the 6 o'clock news saw the Queen and the Royal Family in Westminster Hall receiving the thanks of the Lords and Commons for 25 dedicated years, &c. HM made a controversial statement about devolution saying she had been crowned Queen of England, Scotland and Northern Ireland and intended remaining so. The Scottish Nationalists are aggravated by it but I think it was a tremendous thing for her to say it. At least one person in the land wants to keep the United Kingdom intact.

To be quite honest I'm getting cheesed off with the complete lack of patriotism at the moment. Dear mother is a leading advocate and her attitude about a Silver Jubilee party astounds me. How she had the bloody nerve to pay me £2.50 for her share in Robert Lacey's 'Majesty' God only knows! About as patriotic as Willie Hamilton's left buttock she is. I could become quite violent on the subject if I tried hard enough. I expect that all the flag waving and cheering will take place on June 7 and then everyone will forget about it. It's about time the Queen used her influence to rally nationalism.

Out with Judith to the Hare and back to her place until almost 3am.Discuss purchasing the Sun. How much would it take to make a box for it?

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