Wednesday July 2, 1980

_. A dry day. Industrious day at the YP with my hard-working assistant, John, from Worsburgh, near Barnsley. Sarah left at lunchtime to get her hair flashed and I was left with Carol J, who was in a foul temper because ______ is reported to have worms, which she says is highly contagious. Thankfully, I am safe, and spared the ailment having gobbled down the Shih Tzu's pills. What a giggle.

Sarah thinks it unwise and deep folly that I should consider abandoning NATSOPA. My over time payments and night duty extras will suffer, and, she added, my job might be in jeopardy if redundancies are ever inflicted upon a hysterical YP work force. Those not in a trade union would be the first to face the chop. However, I want to stick to my guns and tell the whole bunch of them to piss off. It's out of character, it really is, that I should be a member of a trade union.

I got the 735 bus at 5, but it broke down and grinded to a halt outside Yeadon Town Hall, leaving me stranded. I decided to walk home down Queensway and onto Tennyson Street, and found it impossible to walk past the Lawson abode without calling on Dave L. Albert Lawson was watching Wimbledon, and Dave was out in the fields with Rowan, the Gordon Setter. He and Dave are going for a holiday to Ilfracombe, minus Audrey Lawson, still shacked up with her lover in Otley. Albert and I went out in search of David and found him in Nunroyd Park, knee deep in wet grass. The dog was rampant. He could obviously sense the Shih Tzu kidney pills. Albert drove me home.

Sue and Pete are recovering from Florence Nason's cremation. Sue wasn't too bereft.

Phoned Ally several times today. We are going out tomorrow.

Mama has installed a new TV set with remote controls. It can even pick up Tyne Tees, you know. We've had the old set since the day of the FA Cup Final in 1972, and so a change was long overdue.

We spent the night worshipping around the new gogglebox.

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Tuesday July 1, 1980

_. Dominion Day, Canada

Dismal, wet. Went to work in an overcoat, very over-dressed, but wanted to avoid the soaking. Spent the day with my nervous schoolboy assistant, who shook with fear behind the filing cabinets. He is however, an intelligent lad.

I phoned Lynn at about 11. She was packed and ready for her holiday. Mum and Dad took them to Yeadon and they flew to Gerona at 2:30. Lynn, was so nervous about flying, and this coupled with the recent atrocities committed by the down-trodden Basques, hasn't helped. Mum reports that the flight left on time, but hated saying goodbye. Mum cannot say goodbye, even for the shortest period, and blames the trauma of parting with Dad when he was called up for national service. Goodbye phobia, it must have a proper name.

I phoned Ally to remind her of my tea time date with Delia and she responded by calling me a 'creep', and asked me not to choke on what morsels of food are placed before me. At 4 Sarah and I met Delia in town and went to Ivory Towers for steak pie followed by strawberries with a lemon soufflé.

Sarah devoured handfuls of vitamin tablets before dining, and Delia gave me a handful, but after swallowing them down with a glass of water we decided that the little blue ones were in fact the Shih Tzu's kidney pills. We rolled around the kitchen in hysterics. What's more, Delia's been taking the pills on a daily basis for some days, and has been having nightmares, and breathless attacks. I fully expected to start barking. Sarah, I think did actually wet herself. Sure enough, the dog's vitamins and pills were there on the same shelf as Sarah's vitamins.

Delia went to St Chad's at Headingley and we accompanied her to the pounding in the car of the Hallé Orchestra's rendition of Ravel's 'Bolero'. Delia went into the church with heaps of flowers, and Sarah and I went to a local hostelry [The Three Horseshoes?] , which took us through until 10. Delia brought me home at 11.

To bed, perhaps not barking, but growling.

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Monday June 30, 1980

_. Need I say it rained again? An efficient day. Joined by a temporary worker, a schoolboy called John, who relieved me of my menial tasks.

Home like a drowned ferret at 6. Went to West End Terrace with Dad, Sue and Pete. Grandma Nason's funeral is fixed for Wednesday. It will be Susan's first. I have resolved to donate my body to a local necrophiliac group on my demise. Kidney donor cards, and such like, hold little appeal for me. To carry one must surely tempt fate. Alison doesn't believe in fate.

I phoned Ally at 2 but Derek Jenkins was in the middle of dictating a letter to her and so I left in a hurry and didn't speak to her again.

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Sunday June 29, 1980

_.4th Sunday after Trinity

Dull, rain. Sue and Pete came in at 12 with the sad news that Pete's grandmother, Florence Nason, died this morning from a heart attack. She was 82, and so looking forward to the wedding. Poor Jim is heartbroken, of course.

Maria and the children came this afternoon and created pandemonium. JPH has a temper. I blame the Celtic blood. Lynn, Dave and Ally came to dinner at 8. Roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, strawberries and cream, wine. Everybody looked shattered. Catherine is still very tiny, with glassy china-blue eyes.

Lynn and Dave left at about 11 with a pile of my shirts, for the Spanish holiday. I cannot help thinking that she isn't looking forward to it. She was very subdued about the whole thing. The Basques are bombing holiday resorts, and despite what I said the other day about plane crashes never coming in pairs, a DC10 has gone down, this time in the sea off Italy.

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Saturday June 28, 1980

_. Torrential rain at times. I have decided to build a new ark, just as soon as I can lay hands on some good quality teak.

Slept until nearly 12. Chippy's 22nd birthday.

Chippy phoned. He and and Dave W want to visit the tailor to be fitted for suits for Sue and Pete's wedding. I agreed to accompany them. To the White Cross, then Charles the tailor, the New Inn, then the Crown at Yeadon. We ate bits of pizza, then went to Chippy's. Played music [loud], and then returned home, pissed.

Maria drove round from Ridgeway, with a nanny, and JPH. The little lad is now very 'leggy', and wearing the same green cardigan he always wears. No sign of my brother, who is alone in Scotland.

Ally came at 8 and out we went with Sue, Pete, Chippy, Debbie and Dave W to the Square & Compass [again] - a firm favourite now. We decided to drop our first names for the night and only use the second name, and be penalised for forgetting. Dave W was Graham, Chippy was David, I was Lawrie, Pete was James, Ally was Mary, Debbie was Anne, and Sue, having no middle name, chose Claire.

On at 11 to the Prachee for a hot curry and cold water. £4 each - not bad. On to Chippy's, I mean Dave's, where we listened to music. When we mentioned to Chippy, sorry Dave, that Ally, I mean Mary, sleeps all day he responded 'Oh, she's schizophrenic'. He should know, he is a mental nurse at the local asylum.

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Friday June 27, 1980

_. Atrociously wet day. At least we were spared the tennis from Wimbledon. The sporting event was disrupted and our TV screens were free of tantrum throwing US schoolgirls with pigtails and mouths full of metal braces.

I first set eyes on Auntie Delia five years ago today, and so sent her a letter. At 7pm she phoned inviting me to tea on Tuesday. One of her friends recently likened her to the late Joyce Grenfell, and I can see why.

I'm now going to mention something that's been on my mind for a few days, even weeks. Namely the thorny subject of my membership of a trade union [NATSOPA]. I joined the union about two years ago, and at the time I didn't really want to become involved but, uncharacteristically, followed my colleagues like a paraplegic sheep. On June 20 the Daily Telegraph carried an alarming article stating that NATSOPA is about to sponsor the left-wing Labour MP, Ron Leighton, to the tune of £25,000 per annum. This move was stated as being part of an initiative to pep up the political clout of the printworkers union. Obviously, I sat seething at the prospect of donating 80p a week to the Labour party. Therefor, I vowed to cease contributing to NATSOPA funds and never again to follow others like a four-legged mutton carrying animal. I have yet to be confronted by the venomous FOC [Father of the Chapel, as newspaper print union chiefs are called]. She, the FOC, happens to be a woman who terrifies all who come into contact with her. I am, however, resolved in my course of action and will stand up against the bullying leftist militants, who try and walk over humble librarians.

Home at 6. Sat with 'George the First' by Ragnhild Hatton. Watched Peter Cushing in 'The Abominable Snowman'. Bed after one.

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Thursday June 26, 1980

_. Even wetter. Mum and Dad seem to be restored to a normal relationship. Mum was bubbly, and Dad quite unchanged.

YP: Anna Wallace features in the gossip columns. The Prince of Wales is showing a marked interest in the girl. Is it wedding bells in 1980? Oh, shut up.

This evening, at 7:30 I went to Bradford where Ally met me from the bus on Manningham Lane. We went to a little pub called the Black Swan, and then to the Bod, on Manchester Road. I did a fair bit of drinking there some years ago. We had a good heart to heart._______.

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Wednesday June 25, 1980

_. I got a lift from Leeds at 5:30 with Dave B, and we collected Ally. We ate with Lynn and Dave at Burley. Fish in parsley sauce. Afterwards we bought port and cans of beer and went to Dave and Elaine's at Over Lane, Rawdon, where we sat listening to tales of embarrassing intimacy from Elaine. Coughing into our glasses at her complete lack of tact. She does have some endearing qualities. The Allinson's son, Stephen, told me that last week on his sixth birthday he'd been to the top of Snowdon. 'It's the highest mountain in the whole world, you know.'

Home after 2.

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Tuesday June 24, 1980

_. Mum and Dad continuing to act oddly. Mum is quiet and Dad behaves as though all is happiness and fun. He's far too cheerful.

Spoke to Ally several times today.  She wanted to know the details of our visit tomorrow to Dave & Elaine's [Elaine's the endearing, yet crude girl, whose only topic of conversation is breast feeding]______.

I escaped from the YP at 4:30. Dave B came at 6:30 and with Sue and Pete we went to Pudsey and Auntie Mabel's pile to collect her ancient, yet splendid old bed. It was fastened to Dave's car. [He is the only person we know who possesses a roof rack]. We drank tea and devoured what Auntie called 'Buttered Humphreys', and left in a downpour of rain and cascade of kisses. Back to West End Terrace. Dave left to take Lynn to a bargain party and I stood until almost 11 putting brown paint onto a bedroom door.

To bed at 12 with 'George the First'.

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Monday June 23, 1980

_. Catherine's first birthday. My parents carry on like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Violent emotion.

Got a bus home at 6pm. I soon after retired to my room with 'George the First' by Ragnhild Hatton. Susan has spoken to Auntie Mabel and they are going over to see her tomorrow to collect a bed [a wedding present]. I went out to help Dad with the lawns, but found him at the bottom of the garden puffing on a secret cigar like a devious schoolboy.

To be at 11 with 'George the First', a good book.

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Sunday June 22, 1980

_. 3rd Sunday after Trinity

Woke at 9. We giggled in bed. Ally went off to Bradford, and I rolled over and went to sleep until 11:30. Eggs, bacon and beans with Chippy and Debbie at 12. Afterwards we left Debbie studying German for her 'A' Level exam tomorrow, and joined Ken & Olive sitting outside the White Cross. I could only manage the one drink because my head throbbed hideously. We then went on to see Dave W and crept down his garden path and peered through his window and watched him, for some considerable time, struggling with a Sunday newspaper. He thinks he may be dying.

Home at 2 to see Mum and Dad, who returned from Northumberland last night. They are very quiet. I  went up to bed, but Mum followed me. I asked how the holiday had been. 'Your father hated the soddin' place', was her response. I took to my bed until 5.

Ally arrived and we went out to buy  papa some rum [for medicinal purposes] and then the two of us went to the Fox & Hounds. Saw George Waite. On to the Woolpack and then the Station on Henshaws Lane, before returning to Pine Tops at 10pm.

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